The Truth About Modern Love: What No One Tells You About Relationships - Jillian Turecki | EP 72
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What alarming trends exist in modern relationships?
If you're someone who tends to fall quickly, you gotta really, really slow it down. Actually, what's happening is that we're looking at our partner and we have a filter right in front of our eyes, and that filter is showing us mom, it's showing us dad, it's showing us our exes. Conflict is a part of relationships, advanced healthy conflict. It's you and me against this problem. You can't let resentment poison your relationship. That means that you have to speak up, you have to stop having so many expectations of your partner to be perfect. Conflict prevention is really resentment prevention. But if you are spending the majority of your time in conflict, something is wrong.
Welcome to the Healing and Human Potential podcast, where today we're going to dive into all things relationships. We're going to explore how do you know if you're setting unrealistic expectations or your standards aren't high enough? How do you navigate conflict and resolution or sexual chemistry? I'm thrilled to be joined by Jillian Turecki, who is a relationship coach and author of It Begins With You, Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life. So we're going to dive into some of them here, unpacking practical strategies to live happier, healthier relationships. Let's dive in. I am so happy that you're here. I'm so excited to share it with my audience. And I wanted to start us off just by talking about any trends or stats that you see in modern relationships that may be alarming and how you kind of think about it in your work. Because I know you work with a lot of people around relationships. So in terms of modern day relationships, are there any trends or statistics that you're like, oh, this is somewhat alarming?
My work isn't really focused around statistics. It's more just my experience of working with people. A trend that I'm seeing in modern dating and modern relationships is this idea of 50-50, which is I scratch your back just as long as you scratch my back. And I'm going to put 50% of my...
How can couples navigate conflict effectively?
mental, emotional, physical, financial resources into the relationship and you're going to put 50 and we're going to meet each other exactly halfway all the time, which is a great antidote to relationships of the 50s, for example, where there was just a lot of misogyny and there was just a lot of imbalance. But what's happening now is that relationships are so transactional and, you know, we're even calling them partnerships, which fine, you know, like I say partner all the time, but it is an interesting thing, isn't it? Because that is, that's actually, now that we're talking about statistics, statistically speaking, using the word partner is, for any kind of relationship is actually quite unusual.
Partners used to be referred to as business partners, and then you would see it in the gay community, but now it's like, no, this isn't my boyfriend, this isn't my girlfriend, this isn't my husband, this isn't my wife, this is my partner. What I like about it is I like this idea of partner in crime and this idea that like we're coming together and we are partner. It's like you and me against the world kind of thing, or you and me against the trials and tribulations of the world. So I think it actually, I don't want to poo poo it too much. I think it has some value, but where we get tripped up is okay. Then we're really like these partners and you do this and you do this and then we're good. There's no passion. There's no chemistry.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What alarming trends exist in modern relationships?
0:32–2:39
2
How can couples navigate conflict effectively?
2:39–5:08
3
What are common misconceptions about relationships?
5:08–6:47
4
How does self-awareness influence relationship choices?
6:47–10:01
5
What role does emotional safety play in intimacy?
10:01
6
How can partners better meet each other's needs?
7:32–16:20
7
What practical strategies can improve relationship dynamics?
16:20
8
How do unresolved childhood patterns affect adult relationships?
15:38–58:10
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Healing + Human Potential
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