Healing + Human Potential
The Truth About Modern Love: What No One Tells You About Relationships - Jillian Turecki | EP 72
21 Jan 2025
What if your relationship struggles are rooted in how you see yourself? In this episode, I sit down with Jillian Turecki, a relationship coach + author, to explore what it really takes to build strong, healthy relationships. We talk about why so many modern relationships feel transactional, the role of self-awareness in choosing the right partner, and how to handle conflict in ways that bring you closer rather than pushing you apart. Jillian shares practical tips on navigating common challenges like unmet expectations, resentment, and the emotional rollercoaster of early-stage romance. We also dive into the deeper dynamics of love—how unresolved childhood patterns show up in our relationships, why emotional safety is the foundation for intimacy, and how self-regulation can transform the way we connect. Jillian + Alyssa explain how identifying what truly matters to you and your partner can help you build a relationship that thrives, even when things get tough. If you’re curious about how to improve your communication, let go of resentment, or avoid the traps of modern dating, this episode is packed with insights. Whether you’re single or in a partnership, the tools and stories we explore can help you create a more fulfilling + connected love life. === Join our ICF-Accredited Coach Certification Program, the Institute for Coaching Mastery, designed to help you become a highly skilled + confident coach at the top of your game, in any niche. Whether you’re Brand New wanting to shortcut the learning curve, or you’re Experienced looking to back higher fees with real value, we offer trauma-informed Trainings + Tools, Live Coaching, and a Customizable 6-figure + Beyond Signature Roadmap to take your income + impact to the next level. If you want to create lasting change in your life and feel confident in helping others do the same, while having a thriving business… Click this link to Learn More + Apply Today: https://www.alyssanobriga.com/applynow ✨ === EPISODE TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 - Intro 02:17 - The Alarming Trend in Modern Dating and Modern Relationships 08:08 - Conflict and Resolution in Relationships 11:28 - Practical Strategies for Conflict Resolution 14:44 - Common Misconceptions and Myths in Relationships 19:29 - Healthy vs. Unhealthy Conflict 22:31 - Understanding and Meeting Partner's Needs 30:14 - Self-Sabotage in Relationships 38:51 - Setting Realistic Expectations in Relationships 44:48 - Sexual Chemistry and Its Impact on Relationships 48:21 - It Begins With You 52:50 - Practical Tools and Exercises for Relationship Success === GUEST LINKS Instagram: @jillianturecki Order here book: https://bio.site/jillianturecki === Have you watched my previous episode 4 Stages of Love: From Seeking The One to Being The One? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/skTC-Xvb1vs ==== Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this video. Copyright 2023, Alyssa Nobriga International, LLC - All rights reserved. === Website: alyssanobriga.com Instagram: @alyssanobriga TikTok - @alyssanobriga Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/6b5s2xbA2d3pETSvYBZ9YR Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healing-human-potential/id1705626495
Full Episode
We want someone to come into our lives to make up for whatever deficits we have in our character. But there's no one coming into your life who's going to be perfect. Everyone has an inner child. Everyone has their stuff.
All those feelings that you feel in the beginning have the potential to be dangerous emotionally because they can make it so that you are not seeing the red flags, that you're lying to yourself, that you're just like rushing to seal the deal with this person. You have to be so incredibly dedicated to whatever intention you have going into a dating scenario.
If you're someone who tends to fall quickly, you gotta really, really slow it down. Actually, what's happening is that we're looking at our partner and we have a filter right in front of our eyes, and that filter is showing us mom, it's showing us dad, it's showing us our exes. Conflict is a part of relationships, advanced healthy conflict. It's you and me against this problem.
You can't let resentment poison your relationship. That means that you have to speak up, you have to stop having so many expectations of your partner to be perfect. Conflict prevention is really resentment prevention. But if you are spending the majority of your time in conflict, something is wrong.
Welcome to the Healing and Human Potential podcast, where today we're going to dive into all things relationships. We're going to explore how do you know if you're setting unrealistic expectations or your standards aren't high enough? How do you navigate conflict and resolution or sexual chemistry?
I'm thrilled to be joined by Jillian Turecki, who is a relationship coach and author of It Begins With You, Nine Hard Truths About Love That Will Change Your Life. So we're going to dive into some of them here, unpacking practical strategies to live happier, healthier relationships. Let's dive in. I am so happy that you're here. I'm so excited to share it with my audience.
And I wanted to start us off just by talking about any trends or stats that you see in modern relationships that may be alarming and how you kind of think about it in your work. Because I know you work with a lot of people around relationships. So in terms of modern day relationships, are there any trends or statistics that you're like, oh, this is somewhat alarming?
My work isn't really focused around statistics. It's more just my experience of working with people. A trend that I'm seeing in modern dating and modern relationships is this idea of 50-50, which is I scratch your back just as long as you scratch my back. And I'm going to put 50% of my...
mental, emotional, physical, financial resources into the relationship and you're going to put 50 and we're going to meet each other exactly halfway all the time, which is a great antidote to relationships of the 50s, for example, where there was just a lot of misogyny and there was just a lot of imbalance.
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