The Hilary Silver Podcast
Feeling Lost? 6 Practical Tools To Discover What You Really Want
14 Feb 2025
So, you’ve hit a new phase in life—kids don’t need you as much, work feels like a never-ending rerun, and suddenly, you’re left with space. But instead of feeling free, you’re stuck wondering, "What the hell do I actually want?" Don’t worry, Hilary is here to drag you out of the “what now?” spiral and help you find your spark again. In this episode, Hilary tackles that “I don’t even know what I want” dilemma with practical tools and a hefty dose of real talk. If you’ve been so busy playing all the roles—mom, career badass, caretaker—that you’ve forgotten who you are outside of them, this one’s for you. Episode Highlights: Jealousy isn’t a vibe killer; it’s a clue. Start paying attention to what makes you envious—it’s pointing you toward your desires. You don’t have to overhaul your life in one go. Experiment, try stuff, and ditch what doesn’t fit (looking at you, Airstream). Forget practicality for a second—what would you do if you had no limits? Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Finding What You Truly Want [03:11] Exercise 1: Become a Master Observer of Yourself [05:17] Exercise 2: Use Jealousy and Envy as Clues [06:00] Exercise 3: The Magic Wand Question [07:14] Exercise 4: Experiment Without Commitment [08:27] Exercise 5: The Life Zone Exercise [09:31] Exercise 6: Focus on Your Feelings [10:55] Honoring Your Feelings in Daily Life [12:10] Self-Satisfied Program and Conclusion Ready to put yourself back at the top of your priority list? Check out Hilary’s Self-Satisfied Program: https://hilarysilver.com/shop/ for guided exercises (like the life zone!) and actionable steps to reclaim your time and energy. 👉 Subscribe, rate, and share this episode with someone who’s also stuck asking, "What do I want?"
Full Episode
Do you feel like you've hit a point in life where you suddenly have space and time that you didn't have before? Maybe your kids are more independent now and they just don't need you as much. Or maybe you've hit a career plateau or you're even facing an empty nest, but you don't really even know what you want to do with that time.
You know you want something more and you need to find something, but the question is what? Today, I'm talking directly to those of you who don't even know what you want. It's something I hear all the time. Hillary, I don't even know what I want. How can I manifest something if I don't even know what I want? So if that's you, you are in the right place.
By the end of this episode, you will have some practical steps and tools and ideas and exercises to figure it out. And trust me, this is a journey worth taking. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too.
I want to quickly start by expressing my deep gratitude for all of you who've been listening to this podcast and watching on YouTube. Last week, CastBox and Apple Podcast ranked this show number five in the self-improvement and education categories. It feels amazing, so thank you for the comments, the ratings, the reviews, and sharing with your friends.
It means so much to me, and I just hope that you continue to find value in what I'm sharing. So let me tell you why I'm tackling this topic today. I've been getting so many messages from all of you saying, what if I don't know what I want? I'm still stuck in the what I want part. Some of you have started using my daily journal or are working on goals, but you're not excited about the goal.
So maybe they're not even really your goals. Others of you haven't even started to work on any goals, all because you just don't even know what to aim for and where to start. Sound familiar? I get it. I am actually in the same boat doing this right along with you. It is so common, especially for high performing women who've been laser focused on their careers and their families for years.
When work becomes such a huge part of your identity and your focus, and your kids are a priority, you can really lose touch with what you want outside of those roles. And then when you suddenly find yourself with more time or space, it can feel a little disorienting. You feel the hole, the space.
And what we don't want is to fill that time with more work, just because it's easy for you and you're good at it and you're rewarded by doing so, either financially or because it's fulfilling and it gives you purpose, okay? And you enjoy it, yes, but there are other things in life that bring joy and fulfillment.
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