You’ve spent your whole life making sure everyone else is okay—but what about you? This episode is for the women who are exhausted, overextended, and quietly wondering when it’ll finally be their turn. Hilary is breaking down the deep conditioning that taught us to believe being selfless equals being worthy, and why that’s total BS. If you’ve ever felt guilty for wanting more, for needing space, or simply saying no… this one’s going to hit. Because the truth is, no one is going to magically give you permission to rest, breathe, or be a priority. You have to choose it. And when you do? Everything changes. Episode Highlights: Why self-sacrifice won’t earn you the love or respect you deserve The hard truth about how you’re teaching people to treat you The 3 steps to stop people-pleasing and start living for you How to be self-centered (in the best possible way) And why this shift is your ticket to freedom Episode Breakdown: [00:00] How You Were Conditioned to Be Selfless [01:32] Why You Feel Undervalued and Exhausted [02:03] The Guilt of Prioritizing Yourself [03:06] The Truth About Self-Sacrifice [04:00] Setting Boundaries: Teaching Others How to Treat You [05:04] What It Means to Be Self-Centered [05:57] 3 Steps to Start Prioritizing Yourself [07:01] What to Expect When You Start Saying No [07:22] Why You Need to Choose Yourself Now [07:54] Start Living for You Nobody’s coming to save you. It’s your turn—right now. Tune in, then grab Hilary’s free video training This Changes Everything to start making yourself a daily priority without apology. You’ll never look back.
Full Episode
I work with women who don't know how to put themselves first. I've been doing this professionally for over two decades, and I've met thousands of women who have given everything to their families, their relationships, their careers, only to end up feeling exhausted and invisible.
And the difference between the women who stay trapped in that cycle and the women who finally break free is one thing, and it's what I'm going to show you in today's episode. And once you understand this, you'll finally be able to put yourself first without guilt. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
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So let's start with something that likely no one has ever told you before. From the moment that you were born, you were given a role to play. Be helpful. Be agreeable. Be easy to love. Take care of everyone else first. And when you did, you were praised. You were a good girl when you shared. You were so nice when you let others go first. You were so thoughtful when you sacrificed for someone else.
And so you learned... Making others happy equals being a good person. Making yourself a priority equals being selfish. You learned that everyone else comes before you, that other people's needs are more important than your own, that everyone else matters and you don't. It's all about everyone else. It's not about you. You learned that your role is to take care of others, help others, and
And that if you want or need something, it's up to you to take care of it. This messaging and these early experiences embed low self-worth and a belief that we aren't deserving of receiving and that our worth comes from all that we can do to help and care for others. Let that sink in for a minute.
So for decades, you've been following a rule book designed to keep you on the back burner in your own life, that you come last in your own life, and that this selflessness is noble and virtuous. I know after years of giving and sacrificing and making sure that everyone else is okay, the idea of putting yourself first feels wrong.
You feel guilty or selfish for even considering your own needs or wants. But let me ask you something. If self-sacrifice led to love, appreciation, admiration, connection, and respect, then why do so many women who give endlessly feel so utterly unseen? unloved, unimportant, taken for granted, and even taken advantage of. Here's the truth. Love is not supposed to be transactional.
You were never meant to earn love by disappearing in your relationships. You were never supposed to sacrifice yourself to be valued. And prioritizing yourself does not make you selfish. So let me tell you something that maybe no one else is willing to say. The truth. That is a very bitter pill to swallow.
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