We talk a lot about the regrets people have when they're dying, but what about the regrets we carry every single day? In this episode, Hilary Silver, former therapist and master coach of 25 years, shares the four most common regrets she hears in her work with high-functioning women. These are micro-regrets that quietly erode your confidence, peace, and sense of self. From staying silent when you should’ve spoken up, to ignoring your intuition, to being too critical of your appearance, Hilary unpacks the everyday ways we abandon ourselves, and how to stop. Episode Highlights: What self-abandonment really looks like (and how it shows up) Why burnout keeps you from showing up as your best self How to stop dismissing your inner voice The sneaky regret most women have about their bodies—and how to stop repeating the cycle Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Why We Regret What We Do (and Don’t Do) [01:47] Regret #1: Self-Abandonment in Relationships & Life [04:36] Regret #2: Not Being Your Best Self [06:33] Regret #3: Ignoring Your Intuition [07:46] Regret #4: Being Too Hard on Yourself [09:33] How to Learn from Regret Without Shame Regret can either weigh you down or wake you up. This episode is your reminder to choose differently, starting now. ✨ Want more? Sign up for Hilary’s free weekly newsletter, Self-Centered, where she shares mindset shifts and lifestyle favorites: https://hilarysilver.com/newsletter/
Full Episode
I've been counseling and coaching high-functioning men and women for 25 years. That means that I've spent thousands of hours in deeply raw, honest conversations, and I've heard it all, things that people do not dare to share with anyone in their real life. the fears, the insecurities, the shame, and yes, the regrets. We talk a lot about the regrets people have when they're dying.
But what I hear every single day are the regrets of the living, micro regrets that they carry every single day. The ones that slowly eat away at their peace, their confidence, and their self-worth. So today I'm sharing the four most common regrets that I hear daily so that you can catch them now in your own life and make any necessary adjustments to how you're living.
Because what we don't want is to get to the end of the line and look back with regret about how we lived our lives. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes.
And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. So the first and most common regret I hear every day is all the many ways women have abandoned themselves. And there are two big ways that this happens. The first is allowing and tolerating.
They tolerated being dismissed by a partner, disrespected by a teacher, criticized by a friend, or misunderstood by an in-law. Instead of speaking up, you stayed silent. Instead of walking away, you stayed. You let it happen. You exposed yourself to being treated unfairly or worse.
It's not saying the thing or not doing the thing, not sticking up for yourself, standing up for yourself, speaking up for yourself. To set the record straight, to protect yourself and defend yourself and get your own back. Not because you didn't care, but because you froze. You didn't know what to say in those moments, or you didn't know what to do or how to handle it.
Or maybe you didn't feel strong enough to say it or do it. You doubted yourself instead of trusting yourself, and you gave them the benefit of the doubt. You avoided conflict. You made excuses for their behavior, turned the other cheek, or were the bigger person. In these instances, the hardest part isn't what they did. It's what you didn't do for yourself. That is the biggest regret.
You weren't there for yourself when you needed you the most. That is abandonment of the worst kind because you did it to yourself. And it's what makes this the most regrettable. The second way that we self-abandon is when we leave ourselves behind.
And what I mean by this is when you care so much about what other people think, you want to be liked, accepted, validated, or to belong, that you shapeshift, as I call it, which is editing, altering, or filtering yourself to be who you think you need to be to gain approval, to be palatable, or agreeable. And in doing that, you abandon your true self.
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