Your past doesn’t define you—unless you let it. In this episode, Hilary Silver serves up a reality check with core concept number four of her self-centered model: identity is a choice. That’s right—who you are isn’t carved in stone, no matter what your childhood, parents, or society told you. For too long, you’ve been letting outdated beliefs and hand-me-down narratives dictate your life. It’s time to rip up that old script and write a new one where YOU call the shots. Whether you’re 40, 50, or 60, it’s never too late to hop off the train of old beliefs and step into a new self-concept. And she’s living proof, sharing how she went from therapist to boss, business owner and beyond by redefining who she was—and who she wanted to be. If you’re ready to get off that tired train of self-doubt and step into the CEO role of your life, this episode is for you. And trust us, it’s about to get personal, empowering, and a little uncomfortable—in the best way possible. Episode Highlights: Your identity isn’t fixed—why it’s time to stop believing your own BS. How subconscious programming keeps you playing small (and how to smash it). The four truths about identity that will change how you see yourself forever. Hilary’s mic-drop moments: from small-town therapist to global powerhouse. A challenge to rewrite your identity starting TODAY. Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Introduction to Identity Formation [01:03] Subconscious Programming [01:34] Core Concept #4: Identity is a Choice [03:01] Focus on Identity [03:22] Four Key Points on Identity [03:32] Point 1: Expectations Shape Reality [03:43] Point 2: Identity Beyond Labels [04:04] Point 3: Beliefs are Not Facts [04:37] Point 4: Identity Work as a Gateway [06:11] Expanding Identity for Growth [07:04] Challenge: Questioning Beliefs Stop letting old stories run your life. Ready to level up? Grab her free mini video training, “This Changes Everything,” at hilarysilver.com/subscribe. I It's time to own your story. 💥
Full Episode
The day that you were born to the two biological people that you call your parents, your fate was sealed. It's as if your little soul was plucked right out of the universe, plopped into your little baby body in that house with those two people, and then all the subsequent circumstances and situations and dynamics, what they were and how it all unfolded.
It's like you were put on a train and the destination was determined for you. You literally had no say so over where you were going to end up. What I mean by this Is everything that you saw, what you witnessed, what you experienced, what you observed, what was modeled for you, how you felt, how you were spoken to, how you were treated, all of that went into the formation of your identity.
You learned who you are in this world, what to believe about yourself, what to think and how to think, how to talk to yourself. You learned who you are supposed to be and how you are supposed to be and what your role is in this life. You learned what's possible for you and what you can expect for yourself. It all went into your subconscious programming and it formed your identity.
And all of that happened before you were old enough to have any say-so over what was going on in there. The problem is... At 42, 52, or even 62, so many of us are still on that train, repeating to yourself what was said to you, still believing now what you learned was possible for you, and still acting or behaving in ways that reflect what you learned. who you think you are.
So today on this episode, I am sharing core concept number four of the self-centered model, which is that your identity is a choice, one that you didn't even know that you could make so you can get off that damn train, decide for yourself who you are, and that changes everything in your life in the best possible way. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Thanks for tuning into the conversation today.
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So many times the train that we are on takes us to a destination that is nowhere we want to be. We end up with a life we didn't really want, one we didn't purposefully or intentionally choose. We live out what was prescribed for us, or we unconsciously repeat intergenerational patterns. When the journey is unpleasant enough, we can try to get off the train by going to therapy,
getting some counseling, going on retreats, we meditate or medicate. But despite all of that, if you're still stuck, not making real change in your life, either getting past the trouble or problem that you're having, or not achieving that next big level goal that you so desperately want to achieve, then you are still on that train despite your best efforts to get off.
And that's because the focus of your attempts have really not been on your identity. So there are four things about this core concept that you need to understand. And I'm going to share all of that with you. And then I'm going to leave you with a few questions at the end to ask yourself. So first, in this life, we get what we expect.
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