She’s successful, impressive, accomplished… and secretly miserable. If that hits a little too close to home, this episode is for you. Hilary is calling out the high-achieving hamster wheel that so many women are stuck on—working their asses off, racking up accolades, and still feeling like something’s missing. Sound familiar? That’s because you’ve been chasing a version of success that was never meant to satisfy you, just the people clapping from the sidelines. In this episode, Hilary breaks down the real reason success isn’t scratching the itch—and why being self-centered (yes, self-centered) is the antidote. Not the selfish kind. The sane, grounded, peaceful, fulfilled kind. Episode Highlights: The lie high-achieving women are sold (and why it keeps you stuck) How to recognize when you’re chasing validation instead of real joy The myth of “I'll be happy when...” and how to break it 3 real steps to start living life on your terms—today Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Why High-Achieving Women Still Feel Empty [02:06] How to Break the Burnout Cycle [03:54] Two Choices: Keep Performing or Prioritize Yourself [04:15] What Self-Centered Really Means [05:30] Step 1: Audit Your Life [06:24] Step 2: Redefine Success for You [06:55] Step 3: Start Making Self-Centered Decisions [07:37] Why People Might Not Like the New You (and That’s Fine) [08:09] Choose to be happy, NOW. If you're tired of being exhausted, overextended, and secretly questioning if this is all there is—Hilary’s here to say: hell no, it’s not. It’s time to stop chasing and start choosing you. Because you’re not too much. You’ve just been aiming at the wrong finish line. Hit play. It’s time for a self-centered glow-up.
Full Episode
I've spent over 25 years inside the minds of high-achieving women. Women who've built the career, she's worked her ass off, checked every box, did everything right, and yet still feels like something's missing. It's the woman who looks like she has it all on the outside, but secretly wonders, why don't I feel happy? Why don't I feel fulfilled? What is wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong.
You've been sold a version of success that was never designed to fulfill you. And today I'm showing you exactly how to break free and find more joy and satisfaction. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Since childhood, you've been conditioned to believe that success will make you happy. Accomplishments will give you confidence.
And when you get there, everything will feel right. So you did the work, you hit the goals, and you made it. But instead of fulfillment, the target just keeps moving. And every time you hit a new goal, there's always another one right behind it. You thought once you hit six figures or got the promotion or built the dream life, you'd finally feel fulfilled.
But instead, that target just moves further and further away. The more you achieve, the more you feel like you should be grateful and happy. But when you're not, you don't question the system, you question yourself. And it makes you feel even worse than you already do for not being grateful for what you have. This is not your fault.
It's what I call the plight of the high achiever, running and running and running on the achievement treadmill. It's a never-ending cycle that keeps women running after that feeling. that you've arrived to a place where you can just finally rest and relax and feel deeply satisfied, that you are in fact good enough.
It's the constantly seeking and chasing and proving that has you overworked, underwhelmed, and forever striving, but never arriving. And if you don't break free, you will eventually burn out and you will wake up 10 years from now just as unfulfilled, but less time to do anything about it. So how do you stop the cycle? You stop chasing external success and you become self-centered.
Here's the truth you may not know. Much of the drive to achieve comes from a deep subconscious need to feel good enough. Early experiences and messaging taught you that achieving and winning or doing well means attention, praise, or love. And sadly even, when you fell short, sometimes it meant criticism.
So you've built this wall of fame, as I call it, and your mantle of trophies, checking all the boxes that prove just how smart you are, how capable you are, how deserving you are. It is all the evidence that you've racked up that you are significant and deserving or good enough and worthy of being seen or even loved.
But no amount of money, accolades, success, or attention will ever be enough to fulfill you. And chasing after it only keeps it elusive because your worth and your enoughness has nothing to do with what you've achieved or anything else about what you've done. It is not contingent upon external sources. Your worth is inherent and inside of you.
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