Someone brushes off their rude comments with, “It was just a joke.” Or they tell you, “Don’t take it personally,” or, “You’re too sensitive.” These comments might seem small. But they can slowly tear down your self-esteem. The good news? You don’t have to let them shake you. In this episode, I’m sharing 3 simple ways to respond to dismissive comments. These strategies will help you protect your self-esteem, stand your ground, and respond to dismissive comments with confidence. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Visit cozyearth.com/jefferson and use my exclusive 40% off code JEFFERSON to give the gift of luxury this holiday season. If you get a post-purchase survey, say that you heard about Cozy Earth from The Jefferson Fisher Podcast! Pre-order my new book, The Next Conversation, today! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Full Episode
Look, it was just a joke, okay? Don't take it so personally. Don't be so sensitive. Little comments like these slowly tear down your self-esteem, and on top of that, they're frustrating. So today, we're going to talk about how to handle them. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher Podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
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And I'll put the links down in the show notes. So these are what I call dismissive comments and that they are dismissing your feelings, trying to dismiss any consequence of what they said. And in many ways, I want you to see these comments as them trying to control the eventual outcome. Imagine somebody, imagine me just punching you in the arm and you go, ow, that didn't hurt.
You ever had that happen? Maybe as a kid growing up or you have a sibling. I know I'm the oldest of four and that definitely happened. When you're roughhousing, you're wrestling, you do something and go, that didn't hurt. And they go, what do you mean that didn't hurt? So I want you to imagine that in your mind, that somebody's hit you in the arm and then they tell you that didn't hurt.
As if they get to decide that, yeah, I hit you in the arm, but it didn't hurt. So no harm, no foul, right? You are the one that gets to decide that. And we're going to talk about these techniques on each one of these. And I want you to emphasize the idea that they don't get to say the outcome. They don't get to say the consequence. You do. They don't get to say what hurts. You do. Right?
You with me? All right, let's go. So first up is, I was just joking. I was just joking. It's just a joke. I hear that all the time. I know that you do too. When you get that dismissive comment back to you on something, I was just joking. Here's what I want you to do. Play off of this. If they want to make it a joke, then it better be funny.
So what I like to say is, if somebody tells you I was just joking, you respond, then make it funnier. then make it funnier. Easy as that. That's number one. Number two, you could easily say, then work on your material or find new material. How about that? Then find new material. In other words, don't be making a joke about me. Don't be making a joke about something else.
If they try to say something that is hurtful to you, let's say they made a comment about your looks or your weight or your age or whatever it is, and then you kind of take offense to that and they go, it was just a joke, okay? As if all of a sudden they've taken away any stinger that they have. When they've made that kind of stuff, you say, well, then find new material.
Or was that supposed to be of the funny kind? Was that supposed to be funny? It was just a joke. Then be funnier. Then find new content. Then find new material. Any way that you can play off the word of a joke is going to work to your advantage. My favorite is, then be funnier. Because it is a reminder right there in that moment of, if you wanted this to be a joke, that's not what it is.
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