It’s easy to get along with people who think like us, act like us, and see the world like us. But what happens when we find ourselves working, living, or engaging with people who aren’t like us? In this episode, we unpack the reality of navigating differences—whether it’s political, religious, personality-driven, or even just lifestyle choices.From serious divides to everyday annoyances (Mac vs. PC, early birds vs. night owls), we explore the four ways people handle differences:1️⃣ Ignore them2️⃣ Try to change them3️⃣ Cancel them4️⃣ Understand themThe first three? They’re easy. The fourth? That’s where growth happens.If you’ve ever struggled to work with someone who challenges you, my new book, How to Work With Complicated People, is for you. It’s packed with practical tools to help you communicate, collaborate, and thrive alongside people who think nothing like you. Pre-order your copy today!🎧 Tune in now and let’s talk about what it looks like to truly understand the people who are not like us.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
What's going on, my friends? Welcome to the Ryan Lee Podcast, where we keep things short and sweet. Today's episode is entitled, They Not Like Us. Regardless of how you feel about the song, Not Like Us, it's hard to go anywhere and not actually hear it. Not Like Us by Kendrick Lamar has absolutely dominated charts, hitting number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for multiple weeks.
It has racked up over 250 million views on YouTube and counting, streamed over 500 million times on Spotify, and won Best Rap Song and Best Rap Performance at the 2025 Grammy Awards. Now, whether you care about the Drake and Kendrick beef or not, This is what I know to be true about you and me. We all face somebody or we find ourselves on the opposite end of them. They not like us.
I think what really reveals our character is what happens when we find ourselves sitting across from, working with, Zooming with, or having a meal with someone and they not like us. When a Republican is sitting in the cubicle next to a Democrat, they're not like us. When a Muslim family is living next door to a Christian family, they're not like us.
Chapter 2: What are common differences we face in interactions?
When it's a leader who is one of those leaders that lives by the mantra, it's not personal, it's just business. And they collide with the chief people officer whose entire job is about people. They not like us. Ooh, my favorite is when introverts intersect with extroverts. They not like us. You got those people that are just super, super chill. And then you got those people that are just OCD.
You're like, hey, man, hey, they not like us. You got those early birds versus the night owls. You got the minimalists versus the hoarders. You got the Mac people versus PC people. You got vegans versus carnivores. You got people that grew up on Jeopardy versus people who are reality TV bingers. They not like us. Us. You've got generational differences.
Chapter 3: How do generational differences affect relationships?
You know, you've got boomers that value loyalty and staying at a company for 30 years versus Gen Z who sees a two-year job stint as normal. Like, if you dare pass two years, it's like, hey, man, are you okay? What's going on? They're not like us. The reality is it doesn't matter where you go in life. The reality is we're all going to collide with people who aren't like us.
And sometimes if we take it even further, they don't like us. And perhaps we don't like them. And when we collide with those people, we have options. Yeah, we've got options. I don't know which option has been historically, but I'm going to explore those options with you today. Number one, we could just ignore them. Yeah, we could just pretend they don't exist.
Chapter 4: What options do we have when faced with differences?
We could live in an echo chamber of people who talk like us, think like us, and believe like us. But here's what I learned. Ignoring them doesn't make them disappear because they're everywhere. I know some people are like, I'm just going to quit my job because I can't stand these people because they're not like us. Okay. Okay.
Chapter 5: Why is ignoring differences not a solution?
you're just going to find a new job and just find more people that are annoying or don't agree with you. So again, you can ignore these people, but I mean, I think they're pretty good at being unavoidable. So again, while it's a plan, I'm just not sure that it's, It's one that's going to actually help you grow. I actually think so many people can give you a deeper perspective of the world.
I think when we ignore people not like us, I think our world stays small. And we just become more out of touch. Nevertheless, you're grown. I mean, at least I think you are. You can do whatever you want. But that's option number one. Option number two is you could try to change them. That's an option. Because when they're not like us, well, we can just say, well, what if we just help them be more
Chapter 6: Can we change people who are different from us?
Like us. Let me show them the error in their ways and persuade them to see things through my lens. But let's be honest. How often does this work? People rarely change because someone else demands it. If anything, they dig in deeper, proving why they're right in the first place. People don't change when they're backed into a corner.
They change when they feel safe enough to explore something new on their own terms. Again, you could try, but I'd love to see somebody do the same with you. Option number three is this. You could cancel them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some people, they choose to cancel those who don't align with their values or views. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've seen kids stop speaking to their parents over political disagreement. I've seen employees resign because they refuse to work under someone with opposing beliefs. I've seen lifelong friendships disintegrate. Siblings become strangers.
And while there are certainly times when boundaries need to be set for personal well-being, I've yet to meet the person whose people skills improved by canceling everyone who didn't fit their mold. Canceling may create distance, but it rarely leads to resolution. Writing people off may be a go-to strategy for some. But again, it's not a growing one. Oh, and guess what? It's not an inspiring one.
And it's certainly one we don't want to teach our kids if you're a leader. And someone came to you right now and said, hey, hey, hey, I've got this person that I don't like. They don't like me. What should I do? Is the best advice you could come up with just ignore them, write them off, stop talking to them, ask for a transfer? Now, is any of the aforementioned necessary at times? Sure.
But I would argue that's the outlier, not the norm. I don't think it should ever be our go-to response. Again, you're grown. You can cancel whoever you want. It's your right. But I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that I think that there's a better option. And it's the fourth option. You could try and understand them. Why? Well, because I think that's what you would want, right?
You wouldn't want to be ignored, forced to change, or canceled. You'd want someone to pause long enough to understand you. why something hurts, what makes you tick, what your dreams are, what your fears are. The same courtesy we want is the same courtesy we should give. Understanding doesn't mean agreeing. It doesn't mean compromising your values.
It just means seeing people for who they are, not just who they are to you. When we choose understanding, I think we create space for connection. And connection is where real change begins. Imagine, just imagine for a moment, if we could be the kind of people who move towards others when they are clearly not like us. What if we could love them? What if we could work better with them?
What if we could win with them? What if instead of responding with judgment or fear or assumptions, We responded with curiosity and grace. How different would our relationships look if we approached people not like us a little bit different? How different would our world look if we all did it together? My friends, I've got a new book coming out called How to Work with Complicated People.
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