Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ?
Brian Kelmar:Breaking Down Barriers: One Father's Fight to Reform Legal Treatment of Autism
10 Apr 2025
Send us a text Brian Kelmar shares his inspiring journey of creating Decriminalize Developmental Disabilities (D3), an organization helping families whose autistic loved ones become entangled in the criminal justice system. His personal experience with his teenage son's case revealed a shocking truth: many states fail to recognize developmental disabilities in criminal proceedings, despite acknowledging conditions like mental illness or addiction. • Working to change laws, perceptions, and education around autism in the justice system • Fighting against "counterfeit deviance" - when autistic behavior is misinterpreted as criminal intent • Successfully passing multiple Virginia laws including mandatory autism training for law enforcement • Creating diversion programs allowing judges to consider developmental disabilities during sentencing • Helping families navigate the overwhelming complexities of the criminal legal process • Addressing how autistic individuals can be easily manipulated into criminal situations without understanding • Providing resources and research documentation to level the playing field against prosecutors • Hosting monthly support meetings where families share experiences and learn from each other • Working to expand successful Virginia legislative models to other states Reach out to us at DecriminalizedDevelopmentalDisabilities.org or D3org.org if your family is facing these challenges. Remember: never let your child speak to law enforcement without a lawyer, educate them about vulnerable situations, and know that one person can create meaningful change - and that person can be you. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Full Episode
Welcome to Why Not Me? The World Podcast, hosted by Tony Mantor. Broadcasting from Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests tell us their stories. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. real life people who will inspire and show that you are not alone in this world.
Hopefully you gain more awareness, acceptance, and a better understanding for autism around the world. Hi, I'm Tony Mantor. Welcome to Why Not Me? The World, Humanity Over Handcuffs, the Silent Crisis special event.
Joining us today is Brian Kalmar, who will share his inspiring journey with his autistic son and the legal system, which ultimately led him to establish D3, Decriminalize Developmental Disabilities. It's an honor to have him on the show. We're grateful to have the opportunity to amplify his story, sparking hope and driving meaningful change. Thanks for coming on. Sure.
If you would, tell me a little bit about your organization.
So we've created an organization that's called Decriminalized Developmental Disabilities. We work with families whose children or family members have gotten caught up in the criminal justice system who have either intellectual developmental disabilities or other developmental disabilities such as autism.
We work with them either from the start of the process when they enter the criminal justice system or as they're going through that process. We try to give them resources. We give them history of what's worked well, what hasn't worked well, and just emotional support as well. We have what's called a wine and wine once a month where you can do a little bit of both, but not too much of either.
So that you can share with other families what you're going through and they share experiences and learn from each other and support each other. We also work to change and that is the big part of our organization is trying to create change. What type of changes are you working towards? Change the laws, change perceptions, change the education.
So people understand autism and developmental disabilities and how these change. Family members get caught up in these situations because of their autism, not because they're criminal deviants. In fact, it's called counterfeit deviance. It appears to be deviant behavior, but it's not. It's a situation that they did not understand.
And once they do understand that, they go, oh, my gosh, I didn't know I was doing this. That was wrong. There's a lot of psychological and medical history and research to back a lot of this that we're talking about. How long have you been doing this? We started the organization back in 2016. We were originally called Legal Reform for Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities.
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