Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kadin McElwain: Conquering Autism Through Family Support, Advocacy, and Digital Storytelling – An Inspiring Journey of Personal Growth and Resilience
Wed, 6 Nov 2024
Send us a text What happens when you refuse to let a diagnosis define your future? Join us for a powerful conversation with Caden McElwain as he shares his journey from being diagnosed with autism at two years old to thriving academically and pursuing a degree in public relations. Listen as Caden recounts the unwavering support from his parents, his transition from specialized to mainstream education, and the resilience he displayed despite facing bullying and academic stress. Hear about his ambitions to advocate for the autistic community and his goal to work at a nonprofit organization focused on autism. Explore the impact of a strong family support system in Caden's life, from therapy sessions to overcoming anxieties about learning to drive. We delve into the significance of understanding and patience in helping people with autism grow and succeed. Discover Caden's expanding reach through social media, where he shares his journey, written work, and sports column. Don't miss this episode of "Why Not Me," filled with personal growth, resilience, and the importance of sharing inspirational stories. Tune in and be inspired by Caden’s extraordinary journey. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Chapter 1: What was Caden's early experience with autism?
Well, I was diagnosed when I was two years old, so I don't remember too many details, but I remember it was right after I got the smallpox vaccination, which was a coincidence. So that, of course, didn't cause my autism. I always find that funny though, since that conspiracy theory is out there. And I remember how when I was diagnosed, the very doctor who diagnosed me said to my parents,
Don't expect college for him. Expect trade school at most for him and a group home. And my parents weren't going to tolerate that or have that. So they invested so much time and energy into me to get me to where I'm at today. That's great. Now I'm going to college, doing all this cool advocacy work, appearing on platforms like this.
I got a story in Autism Digest that comes out in August for their back to school list too. Oh, if it wasn't for my parents' dedication towards me, I doubt I would be in the position I'm at today. And I'm extremely grateful for them.
That's awesome that they had that kind of support for you. So what led up to them realizing that they had to get you diagnosed for autism?
Chapter 2: How did Caden's parents support his education?
Well, I've never really asked that, if I'm being totally honest, but most likely it was falling behind on verbal communication skills, like not talking for a long time, not being able to look people in the eye, not interacting with people, heightened sensitivities to sound and light and that kind of thing.
I don't have those sensitivities in particular much now, but I know those are very common in children diagnosed at a young age.
Okay, so how old are you now?
I'm 20 years old as of Tuesday.
Okay, so what do you remember about school? Was you in a private school, public school? What are your memories of that on your first days of going to school?
Well, starting now, I went to a specialized school. school, tell me get ready for public school. But then my parents decided to mainstream school me at a young age, kindergarten to be exact. They knew what I was capable of. They had the doctors and the various family members telling them that I wasn't going to be capable of anything. And I said,
Start looking for group homes and trade schools now. But as I told you, my parents weren't going to have that. They knew I was capable of doing amazing things in this society. They knew I could handle public school. They ignored the naysayers and enrolled me. And I thrived like I always do, at least academically.
So did you have any problems in school? Did the kids bug you, bully you, anything like that? How did you do in school overall?
Well, like I said, academically, things went fine. In fact, I was one of the smartest kids in the class. But socially, elementary school was fine. I was popular because back then they didn't see differences and they were taught respect depending on the kid.
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Chapter 3: What challenges did Caden face in school?
Third year, actually. I just finished off my sophomore year, and I got my fourth consecutive Dean's List in a row last semester.
Wow, that's great. So you mentioned that you lived in Nashville for a while. While you was here, what was your main focus?
Well, I was mainly focused on completing high school. We all moved down there as a family. Then COVID hit and everything was online, as you know. So in a way, the online thing was a blessing in disguise for me because I didn't have to worry about
the stigmas didn't have to worry about the bullying and being treated unfairly it was just me and the computer and thanks to the online education i got i ended up graduating a couple months early on valentine's day of 2022 to be exact so over the years you've had to deal with bullying and all those type of things what are the challenges that you deal with today has anything changed there
About the same stuff as when I was a teenager, the social stuff, taking things literally, not understanding facial expressions as much as I said, and honestly, holding grudges against people for a while over stupid stuff. I can't go into the details of one of those grudges out of respect for those involved, but those are the main things. Okay.
I've been really focused on my mental health and self-esteem this year particularly. I've been going to therapy, working out, trying to eat better. I was able to kick energy during to help improve my mental and physical well-being. Next is coffee and fast food. That's great. Eating healthy is a very good thing. I'm not going to be 20 years old forever.
So it's important to me to focus on my mental health and physical health now so I can live a prosperous, happy life later.
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Chapter 4: What is Caden studying in college and why?
Absolutely. So what's your dream job? You're doing advocacy now. You're promoting as much as you can. You're going to school for PR. You eventually want to get into that for a living to help autistic community. So what's your dream job if everything fell the way that you want it to go right now?
There, I'm already doing the advocacy work now. It started with a class project for my freshman year of college in 2022. The assignment was to think of a way to help the community. So my group and I set up a GoFundMe for Volatilism Society of America. We ended up raising over $1,000 for that organization, and we won a contest with our project.
But I saw, as typical with my generation, the TikTok generation, my group really wasn't into it. They only wanted to do the assignment to get the grade and the brownie points and prize money we got for winning the contest. And I noticed that autism isn't a cause problem. commonly paid attention to in mainstream media and politics.
There are a couple of bills out there that's come to my attention recently, but I still say we definitely have a lot of work to do. We truly do. So I thought, hey, if no one else is taking this serious, I might as well start a movement. So that class project led to a bunch of different opportunities for me. That's awesome.
Appearing on platforms like this to tell my story, meeting up with politicians in my area to discuss ways to help the autism community, planning fundraisers for the autism community, planning events for the autism community. So I think eventually I want to work with an autism organization.
My dream job, if I didn't have to worry about taxes, mortgages, loans, bills, and all the other adult responsibilities, would be to be in the music industry as a singer-songwriter or But there's a lot of struggling singer-songwriters out there, as I'm sure you know, you're in that industry. I want to work for an autism organization, the PR department to be exact.
As a hobby, I definitely want to continue the advocacy work I'm doing now. Eventually, once I have that success in PR and all the other endeavors, I want to run for political office in my area or in this country. I think we need more neurodivergent minds in government just so we can teach the world kindness and compassion and unity for once.
So do you have an organization in mind that you would like to join or be part of once you graduate from college so that you can get your life started the way that you're hoping to see it go?
Well, I've mainly been looking for autism organizations, but I'm open to anything. I got an internship waiting for me for as controversial as they are in this community.
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Chapter 5: How has Caden's perspective on advocacy evolved?
I definitely want to continue the stuff I'm doing now, appearing on these platforms, telling my story, giving speeches, planning these events. I got junior year of college coming up in August. I'm hoping to get another Dean's List, two more technically. one for each semester to even me out to six.
And in the sense of long-term when it comes to college, if I can get eight consecutive dean's lists for all four years of college, that would be awesome.
Yeah, that definitely would be awesome. That would be just great for you. So you said that in your early years, you had some sound issues. How is that today? Do you have any problems with sound, whether it be loud or different things? And if you do, how do you cope with it?
I think I've grown past them. I handle crowded spaces extremely well. In fact, I love going to clubs and events and things like that whenever I have time.
That's great. I'm glad to see that you've got past that. So what about textures of food? Some autistic people have different things that they can't tolerate and just can't fathom. Do you have any of those problems at all? How is textures of food for you?
Hmm. As a matter of fact, I do. For some reason, I hate peanut butter and nuts and breakfast cereals and stuff like that. And I think it's definitely because texture, because it's weird. I used to love peanut butter when I was younger. I would have it on pancakes. I would have it on pretty much anything. Then one day, I just pretty much stopped loving that.
Oh, and mac and cheese, Kraft mac and cheese, to be exact. I just can't tolerate that.
Yeah. Now, what about textures of clothing? Some people have that as an issue. Does that bother you at all?
No, not at all. Unless you count itsy sweaters, which all people probably despise. I don't have any texture issues when it comes to clothes.
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Chapter 6: What are Caden's future aspirations and dream job?
Yes, sir. I have one older sister and four younger siblings. Okay.
How do you get along with them? Everything good with them?
With my big sister, it's complicated. When I'm getting too mad, our relationship is a love-hate dynamic, if you will. But with my younger siblings, I'm super sweet to them. Most big brothers or big sisters would be mean to their siblings, but I'm not like that at all. I'm extremely nice, extremely compassionate, and I think our bond is super strong.
Okay, good. So with everything that you're doing now, college and everything, do you see them a lot? Are they in your life? How's the dynamic with them now?
The dynamic's definitely good there. I interact well with my siblings, as I said, and I'm in their lives. There was one semester in college where I didn't call my family at all because I was going through a tough time transitioning into a new school, because I actually transferred from another college to the current college I'm going to now.
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Chapter 7: How does Caden cope with stress and challenges today?
I was struggling with the class subject, math to be exact, which I still struggle with, quite frankly, but the math class I'm taking this semester is going to be online, and I concentrate better online when it comes to math. The subject was wrestling me out to the point of me getting sick and passing out and breaking down into tears every day.
And that little incident alone is what inspired me to start going to therapy, start working out, and start taking better care of my health.
So has therapy helped you quite consistently? Have you seen a difference from when you started it to where you are presently?
Yeah, I absolutely see a difference. I've been learning to embrace myself more. I haven't been harming myself too much when it comes to academics and adult stuff. That's been a major part of the current success I'm having now. So you've got, what, one more year or two more years of school? I got two more years, so this upcoming year and then next year.
Good, good, good. So when you were younger and you was going through some of the struggles, how did you see yourself get through them? Did your parents help you through it? What kind of structure did you have set up that got you through so that you could keep moving forward?
Like I said, my parents have been major supporters of mine in this living life. They've put in so much time and energy into me, sometimes at the cost of their own sanity. Occupational therapy, physical therapy, ABA therapy, cutting out teachers at IEP meetings when they weren't doing their jobs, the teachers that is.
Right, right. So you had ABA therapy. How long did you have that?
The very last year of high school when I was about ready to start preparing for my freshman year of college.
Okay. All right. So other than ABA therapy, did you have any other help during your teens and younger years?
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Chapter 8: What personal preferences does Caden have regarding food textures?
When I was younger, I used to throw those kinds of events. I can't really go into the details of them because I hate thinking about that time because they did get dark. I needed second, third, and fourth chances before I got the help, turned my life around, and I get stressed and anxious about things, but it doesn't escalate to the point that those tantrums and meltdowns go to.
And I think people need to understand that people with autism, they will grow out of those meltdowns. They'll get the resources they need, especially if they're high-functioning. They just need a chance and time. I used to have these kinds of fits. I needed second, third, and fourth chance. You just need to give them a chance.
Sure, right. So what do you do for things that might be a little out of your comfort zone, but some things that you need to do to expand so it allows you to open your mind to newer things?
So one thing that's out of my comfort zone currently is driving a car and getting a license. Really don't get it. I've had a permit for a couple times now. That's expired. I've been super stressed to take it again, especially now that the book's online. Maybe it's because of the safety measures on the road that I definitely got to work on driving. But with everything else, I'm easygoing.
I like giving things a shot, especially if they're out of my comfort zone.
Yeah, yeah, that's great. So is there anything that I haven't asked that you might like to discuss so that listeners get a better appreciation for what you're trying to do? Yeah.
What I am is a guy who sees mistakes that were made in the world throughout history and wants to correct them. I think the world is super divided right now, but if we unite together and realize we're all the same and put our differences aside, we can make the perfect society.
Okay. All right. So that's your goal of trying to help make that happen?
Absolutely.
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