Aaron Mahnke

It wasn't prank-pulling teenagers or even rival farmers who ransacked St.

Julian's vineyards.

In fact, the culprit wasn't even human.

It was a weevil.

Or rather, many weevils.

That's right.

In 1545, French winemakers took a bunch of bugs to court.

The crime?

Chowing down on grapevines.

Granted, the chair of the ecclesiastical court, François Bonnevard, found this just as ridiculous as you probably do today.

He ordered the winemakers to chill out and repent for the sin of blaming an innocent animal for snacking.

But in 1587, the winemakers tried again, and this time they weren't backing down.

For eight wild months, the winemakers and the weevils battled it out in court.

Or rather, the humans battled it out.

The weevils had no idea what was happening.

The defense, yes, the Weevils had a lawyer, argued that as God's creatures, it was their prerogative to eat what they wanted.

The mayor of Saint-Julien even got involved, offering the Weevils the opportunity to move to a sanctuary under threat of excommunication.

Now, before you ask exactly how one excommunicates a swarm of weevils, I cannot answer that question.

Unfortunately, the final page of the court proceedings didn't survive the centuries.

Ironically, it seems to have been destroyed by insects.