Adam Carolla

I'm used to my stories now.

I don't want to get away from my stories.

I've settled in.

I've put on about 50 pounds of synthetic weight and ain't going nowhere.

So I don't care if you've got to get the fucking gardener to knock you out.

I ain't fucking going anywhere.

It was more the emotional hurdle I had to get over.

Forget about the physiological stuff.

Emotionally, that's what they don't tell you about is the male breastfeeding.

Oh, the way they look when you're at the park, and I have this blouse with the thing that pops open.

And here's the thing.

You're just going to have to get knocked up.

We'll do the math.

It's 24 months.

It's a nine-month gestation period.

So I'm going to need you to get knocked up about every 15 months.

If you take a look at the same countries that have like a lot of these progressive countries will have like unemployment where, hey, you can have three years of unemployment or four years of unemployment.

Magically, when you look at the

statistics of when people get a job.

It's, well, four years, and then a day before the unemployment, magic, found a job.