Adam Cox

That's a powerful reframe.

So the first timeline that we got this client to actually go through is the element of what does the next 20, 30, 40 years look like in this relationship in its current form?

And very quickly, I could tell from their body language that

They did not want that at all.

It felt barren.

It felt hopeless.

It felt undesirable.

The second future is, can they fix it?

It's always a good idea to see if you can repair a relationship, particularly if it's a long-term relationship.

If it can be repaired, what does that look like and what conversations are needed to even make that possible?

So there is a second timeline of what does it look like with an improved relationship?

And then the third is if it can't be improved, what happens if the relationship is ended?

There's a great saying like you mend it, you don't end it when it comes to relationships.

That's only half true.

If you can't mend it, then if you choose not to end it, then you're accepting the status quo.

You're settling for something less than you either desire or deserve, neither which is going to lead to good things because it could lead to resentment as just one emotion, for example.

So the third timeline is what does the future look like if this relationship ends?

Now, I would encourage you to do this even if you are in a very happy relationship.

Here's the reason being, if you can imagine the next 20, 30 years in your current relationship as a good relationship and the status quo is great, amazing.

That just validates that you're in a really healthy, positive relationship.