Alex Malcolm

Well, I think that is true.

I think, you know, we always want your team to represent you and your community.

And my feeling is that for time immemorial, England cricket has been about getting on the piss.

It has been.

There's a people from Australia.

They put their luggage tags on their kit and they go to England and they just want to get fucking blind.

That's what they've always done.

They want to score a couple of runs.

They want to try a pint because you don't get those in Queensland and New South Wales that often.

So you want to have that.

You want to drink a pint.

You want to score some runs.

You want to sleep with English women and you want to come home with Qantas bag tags on your kit to denote that you are an overseas professional.

But mostly you want to sink piss in these glorious clubhouses around that are littered around the country.

That's what you want.

Anyway, you also want, you know, some guy to buy off the wrong foot and for it to be funny.

Well, this is the great thing about the Ashes because when Marnus comes on to bowl and he bowls his bumpers, the entire nation loses their erection and they shrivel up inside and they go- Even if he takes wickets.

And they go, what the fuck is this?

Yeah.

Harry Brooke comes on, buying with the wrong foot.