Alexis

Hey, she's not the one with a hurt ankle. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, thank God you didn't really hurt again.

Yay!

Awesome.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, you're right. I should have thought about the swimming photo. Obviously, there's the body.

That's true.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

At least they didn't play doctor.

I'm going to be somewhere.

Yeah, his intentions are pure.

Oh, man, not a weirdo and a nutso.

I'm sure the text board's going to fill up, brother.

It keeps refreshing.

There was no truth.

That's how they found us.

Hey, was that my ex-boyfriend?

That makes sense. Yeah, there we go. All right. She loves the show.

We're like a pigeon. You just keep coming around.

That's usually how those guys get in trouble.

That's also a good point.

Excuse me, can we get a loaf of bread?

It's so annoying when someone's dropping hints for you to obviously ask them, you know?

Okay, like you were doodling or you were like, let me drop it? While she's talking to you?

Oh, man.

Maybe she thinks you're just kind of random because your attempts at giving her hands were bad. You're not even currently in the band, right? Oh, that's right. This is an old story.

Oh, this is where she's going to find out.

You're going to karaoke just the two of you in your apartment? Hey, that sounds fun, Brooke.

Okay.

They do. It is true.

I'm imagining him performing in his garage for his mom. That's the first thought.

We call you for shout out. That's fine. Yeah.

That's why dinner was ready? He didn't cook? I'm going to guess it's not his place, Jeff.

Then they sat and hung out while you performed. Yeah, why didn't you kick them out?

If she's the one getting paid, why does her credit score matter?

Oh. That could be a fun new segment.

Wow.

Dude, you don't even know how hard that was for me to finally get it that he was looking for low credit scores. Yeah. The whole time.

That's not happening very often.

I block 10 a day, bro.

Again, our listeners are so nice. We are not blocking people left and right.

Well, yeah, I'm curious. Are you blocked? Are we talking about text, social media? Like, what are you blocked on?

Oh.

That was really personal.

Oh, I walk dogs with guys all the time.

Hey, so it's a good date. Good idea.

I can't say that.

But I do make them clean up the dog poop. You don't want to do that in front of them. Why did Jeff look so hopeful when he asked that question?

It's still not delivered.

I went back through my texts.

It's unmatched. You never know what a right butt cheek can do. Hey, they went on a dog walk.

Aww.

I like the messy ones.

Oh.

Well, I was going to say, it depends on what it is, you know? Like, I require something. Okay. But, like, money's preferred.

Yeah.

Yeah, seriously.

Yeah, I did.

Yeah.

Enjoy Evan.

Yeah. Okay.

Yes! Oh, my gosh.

No.

Of course. That's so Brad.

History?

Because we're Jacob's friend, and we're defending Jacob.

That's so insulting to call him your friend.

You're going to delay your wedding a year so that your current boyfriend can get over you? So that he can go to the wedding? I have never heard of that.

Yay!

I would hope. Oh, maybe they just finished watching Love Island. A lot of gossip.

Okay.

Always at the bar, just casually putting on my friend's wedding ring.

Whatever it was.

Don't blame him. I can't believe you did this on the radio. Maybe you shouldn't have been cheating. Yeah.

Is the teeth something an orthodontist could fix? Yeah. An AI orthodontist.

I don't know. Wait. Did the scrapbook have your next date planned so you know where you should go?

Not the worst, but I definitely remember getting gift cards once and they were empty. No way. I went to spend them, and I was with a bunch of friends. I was like, yeah, yeah. And they were like, there's no credit on this.

Oh, I could actually use an umbrella. That's kind of nice. No, it's my memory of her. Don't take it from me.

Yeah, I saw one from Soph King that said, it's crazy how my sister used to make me listen to you guys in the car, and I thought you guys were annoying. And now I listen every day.

And I think it's hand wash only, too. It is.

I mean, you did kind of bail it in.

It goes to the request folder, so you just have to see it. Or the hidden requests, or just the blocked area.

Okay. You're saying you match. Like, you just follow each other without ever, like, she's just a random person on Insta? Yeah, you don't match on Insta.

So it was meant to be a joke. Okay, that's good. It was going for funny, not.

Yeah.

So did she run from the apartment? Yeah.

You can tickle yourself. And laugh.

Maybe just do I'm funny on that one. Just say you're a nerd again.

It literally says flammable on every aerosol can.

No. Like a reservation?

Yeah, okay.

Be careful, be careful.

Ooh.

No, that is not smart.

Just swat, I think, for security.

What up, man? Some people take years. Some people take weeks.

He's like, I've broken up with a building before. Yeah, yeah. I know when it's a good thing.

It's good to admit that you've made mistakes. If she's like, you did this and this, and you fixed those, then maybe she will want you back.

That's what normal girlfriends are like, though, right?

He's kidding, bro.

That bro, me and my bros, yo, dog, you look super cute right now. Get over here, homie.

The fact that there is three is kind of like... There's a lot. I know there's more, but I just mean... Okay.

Okay, you just sound like a fun guy. To me, you sound like one of my friends.

Okay. There's like zero fire.

Didn't a producer boy tell you to say that? Because honestly, you would never say that on your own.

That's what I'm saying. How do people even do that? I think after a month it's fair game.

Oh, yeah, that's a good one.

Good one, Alexis.

Yeah, they do.

You like me?

This is a con. I'm conning you to get the Delano painting. We can do this together.

It's got to be the janitor.

It's getting stronger and stronger.

Okay.

What? Not even sister?

I like this game.

Nobody wants to board that ship.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

I broke a fork in here today, too. I'm not even kidding.

It's coming up next. That's it.

Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Yeah, I was going to say probably the one who had the visa expired.

Dang it.

Just anybody.

Considering she said she didn't like it, probably not.

Jose would like it.

Zoe, will you ask your mom for us, please?

They'll turn this into a movie. We will be a part of Hollywood someday.

Oh, you did something desperate?

Oh. That's a good, catchy phrase there.

Draw?

That's actually great because then you can see, like when you see them in real life, then you know it's them.

But you're right, Jose.

No, Jeff, don't bring a photo around with you. You just know in your head. Okay, wait, wait, wait.

She's asking you about you, but then she's drawing the lady of your soul.

What are you going to throw it away?

You fill in the crack for me.

What was her reaction, though? Did she laugh?

Maybe you have Android because that happens and you sent in and it got blurry. Oh, God. Green bubble? Yeah.

Brooke knows.

That's good. Don't do what other guys do. Just keep texting.

Yeah, I mean, you need closure, man.

Closure from what? He met his soulmate, Brooke, and she's ghosting him.

The best three songs of his life.

Let's say she'll give us answers.

Yes, Jeff. I haven't seen her yet.

That's the point. I'm not an artist. It was the heavens that just guided my hand. Exactly. Fine. Go with it.

Yeah, that's true.

I promise I will keep trying to be positive.

Hey, Zoe. Good morning, Zoe. How you doing?

Confused. Okay.

Yeah, that's a great point, Brooke.

Oh, she's still into it, and she saw the picture?

What?

Oh, guys, we did it. We found the soulmate. It's the mom. Oh, my God. Brooke, why aren't you cheering with me?

Here's my offer. Give me a kiss on the cheek.

You do not have to ask. The station has never checked and been like, I don't want to be on Noah's bad side either. Okay, okay.

Don't do it, Jeff.

Yeah, I could still be asleep right now.

Totally.

You weren't, like, splashing around, but you were just vibing, having some drinks. Yeah.

Were you in your bikini, though?

You're playing everything right so far. Like, I think it's spontaneous. It's flirty. It's chill. It's flirty. I love it. I want to go on a date with you.

There you go, bro.

So maybe she didn't want the cheek kiss, huh?

Yeah.

No. You're not as welcome. Yeah. I was looking for Forever 21. Yeah.

It's just It's true, but that's a different cheek

So it surprised you. Okay. Interesting. We thought that may be it.

You still hear those words together a lot. Psychic aunt.

Okay.

She's more powerful.

Yeah, Brooke likes bad boys.

Whoa. And you went out with a guy? Does your engaged fiancé know about this? Probably. It's kind of a funny story.

Dude, that's, like, such a stereotype. People say the best place to meet a chick. Do they really say that? Yeah, well, I don't know why, but they say that.

That's hot, dude. The timing was this.

I just meant it's a good sign that she's comfortable enough to come to your place and be alone.

Wait, you guys didn't fool around?

That's a dramatic way to leave. Whoa. Whoa.

Like, she just doesn't know how to say.

Yeah. Or it's just a trail. Like, oh, wait, I left it at home.

We're so jaded. You're right. Cause I think that's polite. I'm like, oh, that's nice of her to reject you. It is that she sent a text. But she ditched him into his face.

Yeah, that's a good point, too. It's not like you hung out multiple times.

And you took her line?

Why am I not upset?

Oh, that he didn't pick that up? They watched the whole movie.

I'd be so scared if I got a group phone call. Yeah.

It's a four-hour radio show. You can listen anywhere.

I'm just a dumb guy.

All the different guys.

I don't know what that means.

You don't need a sick dog.

Okay.

I was like, you're getting paid for it.

Everybody!

Just call.

Yeah, the woman gets to choose who you end up with. You don't get a choice.

And that's also good to know. We can't give out people's info, guys. People do ask because they'll be like, I want to take out Amy. I'd love to treat her, but we just can't do that.

Oh, that's funny.

Oh my gosh, why go?

You didn't say that out loud, right?

All right. Sometimes I do see couples and I'm like, wow, she's gorgeous. How did he pull her? No, I'm wondering, do girls do this? And in their head, it's like a charity case.

Yeah, just don't ask me. I don't want to know. Yeah, weird. Alexis didn't answer.

What? Immediately, that was his response to you? That's not even a good review of the date.

Okay, you want to know something? This guy may be a huge player. This feels like the perfect line.

My dad's pretty much dead right now. I'll see you later. Gotta go meet up.

At one point, she was shocked that he was confident in talking to her.

You're saying it factually, not like a brag.

I want photos. Okay. To compare. Don't you get under her skin.

That's a good idea, Jeff.

That was nice.

Also, let's hope he holds a conversation. We're going to talk to him on the radio.

That's true.

Okay, good call. Okay, so wait. I'm confused, though. No, Jeff.

Wow.

You finally dated a guy who's used to dating hot girls like this. Okay. So she found someone who outgained her.

He may serve a strong drink.

She's coming around. She's admitted, yeah, he's a pretty good kisser. Yeah, when I'm drunk, I guess. But we're going to get her a third time.

I do like two first dates, though.

Just reconfirming.

Brooke is right. Girls love being a little bit of mean. So you did get a date. How did you pivot?

What button did you unbutton first?

That's true. She could just be like, yeah, it was just a fun.

What do we do? Just go, okay, remember last time? Have you reconsidered?

Yeah.

We should get her to talk about this last date and what her impression was, right?

Will she answer? Is this going to work out?

He was the hey boo boo, how you doing?

Oh, that's a cartoon.

We heard the second time was way smoother than the first.

You know he's a good kisser.

Dude, all you need is a bed situation and you kind of have a mobile home at this point. Yeah. Come party, have a drink.

All right, sing Take Me Out to the Ball Game in three, two, one.

I don't even know that she ever knew that that song happened.

For that song, yeah.

They were.

I knew we were going to open that gate.

Oh, yeah. That is so cool. I have met so many Latino people that have talked to me and been like, we started listening, and we've learned English.

Yeah.

There's just a lot of Spanish men that can help as well that are fluent.

There you go.

We're like 30 seconds in, Jeff.

By the way, we have a live ratings meter. We didn't know.

So, wait, you're, like, attributing, like, that you believed everything in her bio, everything in your bio is legit, and everything checked out?

Eye-roll. Eye-rollish isn't good.

Brooke's mad. This is going to be a thing now.

I'm laughing at Brooke. It is so funny. I wish you could see her. Maybe the guy's a little bit

Hey, good morning. Hi. Not address what she just said.

Yeah, we're pretty viral.

No, it's chill. You can always, like, scroll up if you don't want to watch them.

Well, it's just like, what are you doing to do the same thing?

Hey, I just got canceled on by two guys. Oh, Lexi.

So you're really helping. You're in a hoodie and donating area. Yeah. Era. Era. You got it. You got it.

That's fine.

Oh. You cut off your friend? Lame.

You didn't need to mention the second part.

Maybe a hot bocce ball player came into her work. Watch out.

And maybe he'll make plans the other days that you say you can't.

Maybe that's why his hygiene is so good. He has got time for it. He showers. I mean, you don't want to date someone who wants to hang out every single day sometimes. They need to have a life.

Ooh.

What's one that we got? All right. I got to read Matthews who said, y'all asked and I'm going to answer it. They asked, which toe is your favorite? I'm cringing while typing this. I've never even thought of a favorite.

Really? Wouldn't it be the big toe? Doesn't that help your balance? My pinkies are a little weird from running, so I might have to go big toe.

It's longer than the other ones. Do we think we lost or gained listeners? I don't know.

Yeah, I do like toe talk.

Yeah, wait.

I feel like that's an important step because otherwise the app, you don't open it. You know, you don't reply. I don't check this.

That's a good difference.

Okay.

Like, are you confusing girls?

I do like sports.

I enjoy the halftimes in the game, Jeff.

If you like Pilates or not.

Was he in a coma for a year and a half, and he doesn't remember? When he told us he went from the app to that, he met a year and a half ago?

No.

All right.

Oh, I love Steak and Shake.

It is?

Rubber ducks. Yes.

That's good.

I think that's sweet.

Why?

Whoa.

It's after that.

Beg him? You're asking her to plead after he turned her down?

Oh, bro. You reject her? After one date?

left lane so not the fast lane but the next one over and I'm going and weirdly even though it's probably a Tuesday or Wednesday night there's not really anybody else on the road which is great because I just want to get home. I'm going, and all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I see a... It was either tan or silver, little four-door sedan going sideways across the freeway.

So from my right to the left, cutting across, and this all happens... Within a matter of seconds, but it feels like it's in slow motion, I...

turn the wheel super fast and swerve into the fast lane and luckily there was nobody there because otherwise i would have hit them i swerve this person cuts across the front of my car hits the center median and starts spinning and they start spinning clockwise towards my car and There's a brief moment where I see the person inside the car. Like, I see their eyes. In that moment...

My brain was just trying to process what is happening because, A, when is there ever somebody driving sideways on the freeway or any street, for that matter? And so there's the moment of kind of puzzling realization, like, wait, there's something traveling in front of my car going in a perpendicular direction to where they should be going. I'm going 70 miles an hour.

So regardless, if somebody had like swerved into my lane, I still have to slam on the brakes. And... They hit the wall and they start spinning towards me in this counterclockwise way. And again, I don't know how quickly or how slowly this was happening, but it definitely felt like it was happening really slowly. Like I can see the car rotating towards me and...

The way the light was, because it's, you know, 1230, one o'clock at night, there's a few overhead street lamps, but not super well lit. So I can only really see a silhouette of a person. I couldn't really see anything. their face.

I honestly don't even really know what they looked like, but I just saw a kind of like reflection of their eyes for a second as they were spinning towards me counterclockwise. And we kind of had this passing moment where I looked at them and I can see them looking back at me. And I can only imagine how terrifying that would be. I mean, it was terrifying for me being in that situation.

And it just felt like, a dream, but it was absolutely not a dream. You know, I had not been drinking. There is no way that this wasn't real, but it felt like this should not be happening. And then seeing them spin so close to my car and just be a couple inches away, like I should have hit them. And I didn't.

And them spinning off diagonally backwards towards the opposite side of the freeway and smashing against the wall. I just was in shock. I was frozen. I was maybe five inches away from dying.

It reminded me of Bigfoot.

I think if it was not fatal in that moment, they were definitely very critically injured because they were traveling. I mean, I have no gauge of how fast they would have been traveling into like the center median, but I mean, fast enough that or with such force that it ricocheted across the entire freeway.

And it's like, that doesn't seem like it's that big of a distance, but that's kind of a big distance. There was like six lanes in this freeway, you know, the 405. So when they hit the center divider or the median and then spun away and then hit the opposite wall, it was kind of hard to see from that distance because they were kind of far away from me at that point.

I mean, definitely the way they hit was their passenger side smashed up against the wall, like perpendicular to the car. And so it was like that whole side was crunched in. I didn't see if there was a passenger or not. So I don't know about that. But just the force of which they hit both of those walls was, I would be surprised if they were not in critical condition or it was potentially fatal.

As soon as this happens, I pause for a few moments and I see somebody else pull up behind them and they're checking on them. So my thoughts are just like, I need to go home right now. There is... that dark burning rubber smell just in my nose. My eyes are welling up with tears, not from crying, but just because my eyes are so open. I've been holding my eyes open so hard that it's like...

They feel windblasted. And my back is sore from bracing so hard and ripping the back of my dress. And I just feel like a computer that's getting rebooted or something. I have no thoughts other than, I need to go home right now. And so I just slowly press on the gas and I can feel how uneven my tires are. I probably should not have driven home, but I was just one track mind.

I just need to go home right now. It's 1, 1.30 in the morning at this point. I just need to go. And So I'm driving. I don't know how fast I'm going at this point, but, you know, steady enough that I'm just trying to get home quickly, but also my tires are pretty messed up.

I'm going for, you know, maybe 10 or 15 minutes and no music, no nothing, just staring straight ahead, just hoping for the best. Luckily, there's not really anybody else on the road at this point. The only two other cars that I saw on the road were were either the crashed car or the person who pulled up behind it.

And after I drove away from the scene, it was just me by myself on this six-lane freeway, totally alone. But all of a sudden, I notice kind of out of the corner of my eye, towards the passenger side, out of my right, a black hearse pulls up, not in the lane closest to me on my right, but the next one over. And it's kind of one of those, like,

classic black hearses with, you know, the swirls on the side. And that's not that unusual, I guess. But the fact that I didn't see it before this moment, I didn't see it in my rearview mirror. It just kind of pulled up alongside of me. And it matched my pace. Like it was going at the same speed that I was going. And I pull up a little bit and I look into the driver's side of the car.

And it looks like something out of an 80s movie. It's another one of these moments where I'm like, am I actually seeing this? The driver's side window is glowing neon green with this kind of fog emanating from it. And there's a figure in the driver's seat that is wearing a black hood, black gloves. And I turn to look around.

at this figure and I'm staring at it for a few moments and then it turns and looks at me and it has a skull face like that is literally the Grim Reaper and it's not a mask. The skull looked real. I mean, as somebody who has seen real human skulls in my life,

again it's you know one lane over in a car but texturally you know you can tell that it's like smooth but rounded not like a mask would be flat texture looks Like bone, not rubber. It's not like a rubber Halloween mask. And the sockets, if it was a mask and they were painted black, you would have the reflection of the light off of it. the gloss of the paint on the inside of the mask.

But this, it was like the opposite of light, devoid of light. Almost like a velvet black, if that makes sense. More than anything else, I think what made it feel real and still makes it feel real to me is the feeling I got when this thing looked back at me. You know, it's facing front, it's driving, and then turns and looks at me.

And it's just this, even though there are no eyes there, it's like this knowing look. And the skull face, there's no emotion to it, but you can feel there's almost this like smugness about it. And that is what scared me. And I have this... kind of sting in my chest and, you know, that rush of adrenaline of this thing looking at me and the feeling of, like, I almost got you. You could have been it.

Hi, my name is Alexis. I am 34. I am an event producer and a drag performer and currently live in Portland, Oregon with my partner and my two cats, Weegee and Lemmy. I grew up in Orange County, California, specifically Laguna Niguel.

Like, this could have been it. And, like, I know... Yes, it could have been a person in a costume or whatever. Like, people have hearses. I almost bought a hearse for myself when I was young. But at the same time, this is 1, 1.30 in the morning.

Tuesday or Wednesday night in like May or June, there's no reason that a person should be there at this time, especially with this glowing green light and weird fog coming out of the car. And I know the descriptor of saying it was, like, an 80s movie maybe makes it seem less credible, but that's honestly what it felt like. Like, in that moment, I was like, what?

Like, this seems like a scene out of a movie is, like, what it felt like. It was like this... is too artfully staged to be something that's happening in front of me right now, but it is really happening, is what it felt like. Because this happened so quickly, I mean, this is probably a few seconds,

All I really saw was just the face and then the way it was turned because it was like both hands are on the steering wheel, all black with this black hood. And it's turning over its, I guess, left shoulder to look at me. I really only saw the face and then the hood. And then because of this, like, green light and smoke, those were the things that really stood out the most.

A real... Yeah, this is not a guy in a costume. Like, a... I am a performer, so I know what costumes look like. And also, being someone who was obsessed with Halloween since I was a little kid, I have seen my fair share of skeleton costumes or skull masks. And also, I've seen real dead bodies and real skeletons, so I know what that looks like. And

I mean, if you close your eyes and you imagine what the Grim Reaper looks like, like that is what I saw. And, you know, like your natural inclination when you see a cool car on the road is you want to look into the driver's window and be like, oh, who's driving that cool car? Who's driving this hearse in the middle of the night on the freeway that just appeared? And yeah, not only...

Was it the Grim Reaper or, you know, something that looked just like what you would imagine the Grim Reaper, but also there's this glowing green smoke in the car that if you were a person, you would not be able to see or breathe with the amount of smoke that was in there. I mean, it wasn't, like, just, you know, a cool ambiance light, like...

It was a brand new track home with white picket fence, ocean blue carpeting, two stories with a beautiful garden in the backyard that kind of butted up to a steep hill with walking trails. I was an only child, so I definitely was left to my own devices a lot of times. I spent a lot of time with my maternal grandmother, who's an artist, but otherwise a lot of time just kind of playing by myself.

It was like if you had a fog machine, like an industrial fog machine in your car and, you know, was blasting it, you know, full amount and there's glowing green light in there and you're driving. Like, I don't think that's something that a... person would do.

Or if you were a person, I do not think that you would get very far or driving on the freeway, you know, 60 plus miles an hour, probably not great. After I have that moment where I'm looking into the car and... This figure is looking back at me. I speed up, you know, I'm maybe looking for like five or 10 seconds and I speed up because I just want to move past this.

You know, I have this really intense feeling. looking at this skull figure and I need to go. And so I speed up and I am watching the hearse in my rear view mirror and I can see the figure still with like both hands on the steering wheel, the skull face, the glowing green and this kind of fog that's filling up the front part of the car in the windshield. And I...

look back at the road, and then I look back into the rear view, and, you know, a few moments had passed, but then the car was gone. It just was there one moment, and then it was gone. wasn't behind me. It wasn't in any of the lanes on either side of me. It was just gone. And there was, it was not close enough to an exit that somebody could have gotten off an exit. There was no exit nearby.

So it was just gone. This was probably the most intense thing that has happened to me personally. I think I've been through a with other people but as far as something happening to me personally this by far was and continues to be the most intense and definitely the closest I've ever been to a really dangerous situation. I have never had any kind of hallucinations.

I've never seen anything like that before or since. I was completely sober and very lucid when this happened. Obviously made it home, but I remember I just kind of put myself to bed. I was so kind of just drained. I feel like the best word was just drained. Like I had nothing left in me.

And also the dread of having to try to explain to my mom and my stepdad that I had just ruined all four of my tires and And having to deal with that the next day, I did not tell them about what had happened with this like hearse skull Grim Reaper figure. I mean, I told them about the accident, but, you know, I didn't know if they would believe me.

And so, yeah, I just went to bed and then had to try to deal with the car the next day. I don't think that, like, the Grim Reaper is a real entity or being. I feel like it was more so, like, an omen. Because to me, it's like, I don't know. I mean, maybe it was somebody kind of shepherding the spirit of that other person away, like, if they did die in that moment. But...

To me, what it felt like was more of a warning. Like, this could have been you. This could have been really bad. This could have been the end, is what I felt in that moment when this figure was staring back at me. And I... It was definitely just kind of confirmation that there is something else out there.

But also, even though it was scary in the moment, kind of felt like maybe someone was looking out for me. Because, you know, this car was only a couple inches away from me when it was spinning towards me. It should have hit me. I should have hit this other car. And I didn't for whatever reason. So I kind of feel like... whatever this thing was that I saw, it was more mischievous.

And like I was saying, kind of like smug rather than like being malicious. It was just kind of like, that could have been you, but you missed it just narrowly. So overall, I mean, I think it definitely... Makes me grateful that I'm here and that something You know, didn't happen to me in that moment. I wish that I knew what happened to the other person.

My dad was a senior deputy coroner investigator for the Orange County Sheriff's Department. So as a kid, my understanding of that was he goes out and finds dead bodies. And his specialty was solving unidentified or John or Jane Doe cases. And he was always really good with computers, building them from scratch in his free time.

I am irritated because there's one photo of me from this event that had popped up in my, like, Facebook memories a few months ago. And I have been trying to find it so I could try to track down exactly what day this was. and try to look it up. But again, this is 2013 that this happened and I'm sure there's been a billion car accidents since then.

I mean, I hope that person is okay, but I don't know. Overall, I guess just kind of, you know, nothing is guaranteed and something can happen to you in a split second, any moment. So you just kind of got to Appreciate what you have while you have it. It's been 10 years since this happened. I think revisiting it, it definitely is a reminder both figuratively and literally to slow down. I...

I am somebody that is very ambitious and I have a lot of things that I want to accomplish in my life that I haven't done yet. And I always feel like I have to go faster and I have to do more and I always have to be busy. But if you're going so fast, you can't enjoy your life, then there's kind of not a point. I might live to be 90 or I might just live until the end of the day today.

But I just have to, A, have a sense of humor and B, just really appreciate the things around me and the people that are in my life and not get so caught up in feeling like I need to go fast all the time.

And so he was essentially the IT department before they had an IT department. And he went on to create the John and Jane Doe online database. Because there wasn't a way for other counties or states to quickly cross-reference, you know, if somebody went missing in one state and they found, you know, an unidentified body in another state.

So this way they could kind of communicate with each other or even within the same state. And they even did a KCAL 9 special on him. And I think it was like 1999 or 2000 called Detective of Death, which I thought was really funny when I was a kid. He had a really great sense of humor. He also taught classes at the Corners Academy there on identification.

And he would be talking about tissue samples and walking around with a specimen jar in his hand and while doing the lecture, reach into the jar and take a bite. It was full of beef jerky, of course, not actual human flesh. That was kind of his personality. But I know it was really draining on him.

The investigators are usually the ones who have to go in and tell families that their loved ones are deceased. And doing that day in and day out definitely takes a toll. I know he would take like two showers a day just to wash off kind of the smell of death. I didn't realize at the time that because of that anxiety and stress, he was a really high-functioning alcoholic.

But that definitely came into play later on in our life. And then my mom was a night shift ER nurse. So kind of between the two of them at the dinner table, lots of times it would be like, how was your day, honey? And talking about brains being splattered on the ceiling or some kind of weird metal object stuck in somebody's orifices. And that was just kind of normal for me.

So I didn't really know any different. My parents were not religious and we were definitely like a X-Files household because this was, you know, early 90s. Watched a lot of horror movies and sci-fi. Also like ER and Law and Order, which I thought was funny considering that was basically their jobs. So they would get off work and then watch what they just did all day.

As I got older, when I was in middle school, my parents got divorced when I was 10. And my dad was teaching. He would sometimes ask my opinion on slides. And it was like, oh, should I use this picture or this picture? And it's a picture of like...

a woman decomposing in a bathtub and it's like dad um i know this is normal for you but probably inappropriate to show to like an 11 year old like it's one thing to hear about something because you know again we watched a lot of horror movies growing up and so you can kind of distance yourself from that but if you're seeing like crime scene photos actual crime scene photos

It's not special effects. You know, it's not... I mean, you know that that's not real. But when you see real pictures, when you smell the smells, it becomes more real. And also just the heaviness of it. Like I was saying, you know, it definitely... affected my dad in a pretty significant way.

Just the heaviness of having to tell people that, you know, your brother, your mom, your husband, somebody is gone. And sometimes it was by their own hand. Sometimes it was an accident. So feeling that kind of like secondhand heaviness definitely made it more real. And, you know, ultimately... My dad died from alcohol-related issues at 52.

So he was really young, but he just, you know, couldn't shake it. And it's a lot for somebody to deal with. I guess, like, since I had a handful of pretty impactful kind of paranormal things that happened to me when I was a kid that really stuck with me because both of the, like, kind of big things that happened happened right before my parents got divorced.

So I feel like the house was pretty charged at that time. And then after my parents got divorced, my mom moved up to Lake Arrowhead to kind of run away. And my dad moved in with my grandparents, his parents. And my mom continued to be a nurse, but she kind of moved more into admin rather than bedside nursing, which was good for her. I think she needed a break.

But my dad stayed at the coroner's office for... several more years. And I... You know, going through middle school and high school, I kind of went back and forth between them after my mom had moved back to Orange County. And... I have gone several times to the sheriff's department. You know, I would go visit or I would attend events and things like that.

But as I got older and especially as my dad's alcoholism got worse, I tried to spend more time at my mom's house just because I grew up being really close to my dad and it was really hard to be around him like that. So when I graduated from high school, went to college, went to community college, and then I transferred up to Cal State Long Beach. And I was living out of the house at that point.

And so my priorities had kind of shifted into my schooling. I went to school for creative nonfiction and poetry. And So I still saw my dad, but he unfortunately was forced to take early retirement because of his alcohol issues. And after that, his health went pretty downhill. So again, it was really hard for me to see him like that. So I had kind of distanced myself until he...

passed away in 2012. He had collapsed outside of an ATM and essentially had put himself into an alcohol-induced coma. And I was 21, and I had to be the one to kind of make a decision on what was going to happen. with him. And because of his past working at the coroner's office, I knew he would not want to be a vegetable.

I knew he would not want people at the coroner's office to have to come out and deal with his body, like he would be so embarrassed by that. And so we had to make the decision about, you know, his end of life. And it was, it was something that was a long time coming, but it was also really sudden and I was still pretty young. And so that was really hard.

So that happened, and then very shortly thereafter, my cousin, who was only six months older than me, he was 22, he went to Taco Tuesday with his friends. He had just graduated from college. He was coming home, and his heart stopped. And he died. And that was really shocking because we had no prior indication there was anything wrong. He had just been snowboarding. He, you know, was very active.

But we found out later that there is a genetic heart mutation that runs on my mom's side of the family that... My grandma, who recently passed away, she has or had, and my cousin had it and didn't know. And because of that, he had an enlarged heart from like a virus and just dropped dead, which was... really scary and shocking. And because he was so young and otherwise so healthy.

So that really kind of changed my outlook on life. And I always thought like, I need to just make it past 22. And I also have this genetic mutation, which I found out pretty recently. So nothing is guaranteed. And you just have to appreciate your life while you have it.

So just losing my dad and then my cousin, and shortly thereafter having a health scare with my mom, all within like four months, I... was really just trying to have a fresh start and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I found a online magazine that was hiring and essentially needed an everything person.

So I was going to be helping write articles and work on a radio show and go to events up in LA and Orange County and San Diego. So I was 22. This is 2013, summertime, probably May or June. And my editor and I had gone to a art gallery opening up in Hollywood. And I was living in Orange County back at my mom and stepdad's house at the time. So I was driving an hour and a half, two hours each way.

When the event was over at about 12.30 or 1 in the morning, I had to drive back home. I think it was on the 405, if I remember correctly. But I got in my little black 2008 Suzuki Forenza, had my iPod plugged in, and was going maybe 70-ish miles an hour driving home. And I was in the second most...

Come on.

And I'm Darby.

I'm so glad you asked. In my homosexual opinion.

Yes, and we also want to hear all of your stories. Maybe there's a situation you've been put in and you just don't know how to get out of it. Well, we'll get you out of anything.

Yeah, I need to know about that. I would actually love to hear about that. Alexis and I, we are professional podcasters. We've made all the podcast charts. And now we're ready to make your podcast hearts. Okay. We know you need a new podcast to be obsessed with. And what's more obsessive than two drag queens talking into microphones?

Anywhere you get your podcasts.

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you. Yeah, a little bit about my story is both of my parents struggled with addiction. And unfortunately, that landed myself and my brother in the foster system. And it was a cruel home. It wasn't a place where they were nurturing or caring for either one of us. Often we would get punished with food.

And when we did get fed, we'd get fed squash and that would be it. And that really created a lot of instability, not feeling safe, you know, abandonment from my parents' side, abandonment from people that were supposed to protect and care for me. Yeah. And that just really kind of took off when we did get to go back home with our mom. Being in Vermont, it is predominantly white.

So I was, you know, the only black girl there. In my town, one of four. And I remember just being bullied in school, which further validated that I wasn't worthy and I wasn't lovable. And I quickly learned how to just blend into the background and become a people pleaser and just care for other people, you know, without asking for anything.

Yeah, well, first I realized that it wasn't my fault. I think from being so young, I didn't really realize that my environments and circumstances had nothing to do with me. It had everything to do with external parties. And so for me, it was really understanding when I was in different environments, how my body was physically reacting to things. I had really heightened anxiety all of the time.

I had panic attacks. You know, I've had over 10 surgeries, and most of the time, they were always undiagnosed and unknown reasons as to why these things were physically manifesting in my body.

And I later found out one partly because of this book, which was the beautiful part of being in therapy and using this book was that I got to understand the why behind most of it versus just kind of working through what I experienced. So I thought that was a really beautiful way to kind of tie things together and really understand what was going on within me.

Your question for Dr. Perry? How do we rebuild trust within ourselves and others after we've really lived a lifetime of feeling dismissed, ignored, and being harmed?

Oh, beautifully said. You got that.

Oh, no.

But also hasn't she been known to hate Jay-Z? Yeah. My whole thing is that I'm like, what is this like? Stay with your chest, though. Yeah, but I'm like, if someone's going to hack you, you think the only thing they're going to go do is like a post from ABC7 Chicago about your daughter's husband?

There's not like stories. There's not like things being exposed. When people used to hack.

Yeah. No.

Yeah. And I feel like we see that like all the time where people are like go back and I think they just like don't realize that other people can see or that your name might come up if you're closely associated with whoever's looking at that same post. So it's like I don't think that she had the wherewithal to think like, oh, anybody could see it or like think twice about it.

She might have just double tapped and think about it. But. It's hard for me to believe that I'm like with a post with Diddy the day after these accusations that you were like, ABC7 Chicago? Yeah.

That got so many people in trouble, ruined so many relationships that needed to be ruined though. Yeah.

They also did a whole family photo at the Mufasa.

She claimed Jay-Z told her to get plastic surgery when she first signed to his record label, Roc Nation.

Yeah, she just said that that was the first thing that he said to her. once she signed. I wonder what plastic surgery.

Who's JR?

Oh, I have my own theory on him, but okay, okay. Do you want to get into the ultimatum?

Can I just say, and I'll just stand on my own on this, but I feel like I was gaslit by Scottie. So was I. So was I. This episode going in, I'm like, this is not giving sarcasm. This is not giving we're on the same page.

The storming around the apartment, not saying anything, not answering any questions, but throwing those like death stares at her. I was like, over a silly rumor. Over a rumor that he's not even your friend.

My whole thing is that this is where I get confused with the show because I'm like, are you getting mad at her for texting her actual boyfriend that she wants to propose to her?

And then it's like him getting, being upset about her talking to her partner. And you're just like, You don't. This has been two days that you guys have been in this trial marriage. She owes you nothing.

And then Zayn is telling him exactly what he needs to work on. He's like, no, you're wrong.

But again, like the whole thing is just so weird to me because I'm like, is he wrong for that? That's the woman he wants to marry. And he's like, dude, you've been sitting here having another relationship. I'm by myself and you're not giving me anything. And I feel like JR and Sandy are taking this experiment to a whole nother level that none of the other couples are.

Like everybody else understood the assignment. And they're like, well, like, am I leaving with you or am I leaving with my partner?

Literally kissed him twice in one night.

That's dark.

Yeah. Oh, she was out.

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Jones on Ventura Place.

Yeah, it is giving man help.

I'm out that the audience isn't in on either. Like that was the thing. It was like, it felt like the prank was on us.

You know, clean the rain gutters. Come on.

Not only that, she doubled down and then she took some of the audio and made her own reel.

I have 400 meetings while she's ordering a Corona on a lounge chair on a beach.

No, I agree with you. She's intimidating. When she first came on where it was like her and Kyle and it was like, are you the mother? She seems genuinely frightened of you.

Yeah, now we got the rebrand of like happy-go-lucky, which I'm here for.

I'm so curious. I can't wait to find out.

I love it.

I love it.

I think he's a nephew. Yeah. Isn't he like Donnie's nephew? He's Tom Sandoval.

I think she would, but I definitely saw a video of her and Kathy singing.

But Michael, you watch this man buy a $15,000 motorcycle that he drove twice that didn't have a license. How do you think he spends?

I have a question. The Vanderpump revamp is happening. You're pissed.

What do you think it's going to take for that show to even be good?

Club owner.

Well, and Megan's pregnant, so they just announced that recently. So that's why we're like, well, what is going on?

Well, I thought your comedy special was hysterical. Oh, thank you. And apparently everybody else agrees with me because congratulations on top 10. Thank you.

Really?

Wow. That is a thoughtful gift. I haven't whittled a thing.

See, I would want the grill.

I was like, we don't even know what term she's in. By like third term, she probably will be back together.

Just like a one and done.

The pandemic made it more comfortable to say no.

After the fact. And then we got like so used to being like, no, no, no, no, no. And then now it's like, maybe I could have, I would want to go to bed.

And I was like, this is New York. Sunset Boulevard on a weekend, ghost town. Yeah. And it used to be thriving.

The two drink special stands.

Yeah, they're drunk no matter what.

I mean, he's got everybody in his Rolodex.

I think they just messed up by like, carrying on season 12 or season 13 of Roni. They should have been like Real Housewives of Manhattan and then maybe there wouldn't be expectations for them to fill the shoes of the OGs.

Real Housewives of Bushwick.

Yeah, because you're not giving me what Ramona and Sonya and the chaos of, like, you're not giving us that. So it's like, this isn't really a continuation. This feels like a 180. Yeah.

She also thought it was funny. She made a reel about it where she's like, I've got 400 meetings and it's her ordering a Corona on the beach.

I want to say the interview was like 20 minutes and like it was just chaos the entire time and like that's what I want for my housewife.

It makes me so sad I was not here yet. I was just starting right after that.

Well, dude, you showed up like hours late to his podcast. So, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

Or like abbreviate it. So it's like Sir Rules or Pump Rules versus like Vanderpump Rules Season 13.

I don't know. I also feel like it depends. Like, if you love, like, filmmaking, cinematography, I mean, there's just so many cool elements. Yeah, that go into it.

The shots were seamless. There's just so much going on.

They built out that entire set too. So it's like one of those things that when you know those facts, you're like looking at things and being like, wow, that's incredible.

I'm straight and I spent my whole day yesterday watching the bootleg version of somebody filming the original cast. I did watch the bootleg.

I did see a commercial for TikTok while I was watching television this weekend. So I'm like, it doesn't feel like they're going anywhere.

point that's the point that's so evil there have been dating rumors she's a creative director for sports illustrated she is a victoria's secret model employed by she dated canadian soccer player colin novak if you listen closely enough i can hear a publicist getting fired right now yeah um yeah you can't make up stories about somebody whose entire life is on tiktok

Wow. Isn't that insane? But also saying that her daughter is in the house and doesn't know what to do. Should she leave? Should she go upstairs and hide?

She's just standing there and calling her mom waiting for the call back being like, do I leave? Do I stay? And he's playing a football game.

Good. How are you?

My name's Alexis. I'm 32 years old.

So I'm having trust issues with my best friend and I'm wondering if I can repair our friendship.

Over 20 years now.

It's a long story, but she's been this last year hiding some things from me and it's become more obvious lately.

She's been seeing this guy for about six months and called things off in August, but I have suspicions that they're seeing each other again, but she's actively hiding it from me.

I honestly don't know.

I've never voiced anything in any way about him because I've never met him personally. So any concerns I've expressed, I've tried to do so delicately, but she can be kind of defensive.

Okay.

I would say more so this year. I think it started with this situation because we've always been super transparent with each other and we've both been in toxic relationships in the past. So we've helped each other work through those things and really, you know, seen all sides and we've never, to my knowledge, hidden anything from each other.

I think for me, I have trust issues from some of the things I've been through that I've really tried to work through in therapy. And for me, it's the lying and hiding. So somebody like actively taking extra steps to like continue a narrative that's untrue. That's what really hurts me.

Yeah, we call each other family.

I guess. How would you perceive it if like I've directly asked questions, but then I know that she's coming up with stories to cover it.

I get that. I think for me, because we talk almost daily. So it's really hard in our daily conversations for me to act like nothing's happening because I'm a pretty transparent person. And I don't want to be fake or tiptoe around stuff.

That makes a lot of sense. I appreciate your perspective on that. I guess my other concern is that if I do bring it up, like, I definitely want to do it in the way that you're saying. We don't live in the same city, so I don't know the best way to go about it. And I also don't know how to handle it if she continues to kind of act like it's not happening.

Yeah, I do.

I think that's good. I think that's where it hurts is just I think at a certain extent, I start to take it personally because now it's been going on for about a month and a half. And so it's giving me anxiety. I'm marinating on it. So I think this is a really good approach.

I'm here when you're ready, essentially. Yeah.

Yeah.

That makes sense when you compare it to a sibling too, because it's like my brother and I have had those moments and you never see them differently. And I see what you're saying where we'll always be that person in each other's life, regardless of what happens. I'm just not used to having people these types of things pop up like with us or specifically in this friendship.

Yeah, I think I need to stop marinating on it. I appreciate that. Thank you. I think it's helpful. I think I have a step forward. I am not good with confrontation. So I just get really anxious, like having these conversations. So if you have any tips on like how to, I guess, stay confident when you are having these types of conversations.

First of all, you know, like I don't want to come across judgmental or upset or things along those lines.

Yeah.

Maybe I can just do a virtual wine night and take the edge off a little and we can have a conversation type thing.

And I think I need to express too, like, I just want you to know that you can come to me. Like, I'm not here to judge you.

That's perfect. That's exactly what I needed to hear. I really appreciate this.

Yeah. I have to be able to stand by what I'm saying.

Cause we're always unfiltered. So it's like, it's this new kind of like filter. Essentially.

Um, Yeah. And I've never met them, but I know that it's due to certain professional relationships as to why he didn't want it known in the first place. But I knew about it all along.

Yeah, he wants it to be secretive.

But I guess this is the complicated part is she was up front with me from the very beginning through all of that until going back, I guess, at some point.

But thank you.

No, I think you helped me connect some dots and to just kind of make it a little simpler than I've made it in my mind because I can make things feel debilitating even though they're not such a big deal.

That makes sense. Just because she's doing right by him doesn't mean she's necessarily trying to do wrong by me.

Yeah.

That makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

Thank you. Thanks for helping simplify it.

Appreciate it.

Bye.

Good. How are you?

My name is Alexis and I'm 30 years old.

I am being pressured into getting an abortion and I kind of need help sifting through some of the emotional manipulations flying my way and figuring out how to deal with the baby daddy going forward.

I've decided to not get an abortion, so I don't need help with that part.

The dad and also his family, his mom specifically.

We were seeing each other, not in an official relationship, but like

exclusively sleeping together for a few months okay um i have very fond feelings towards him um i think we had a really lovely connection um but he was not willing to be in a relationship and i wanted more and so we kind of ended it and then like a couple months later hooked up a couple of times i was thinking maybe i can just separate my feelings from this and then i got pregnant okay

Yeah, I definitely wasn't planning to be pregnant at this stage. I had very much other plans.

But I like continuing my education overseas, potentially.

I am not really worried about that. I mean, I think it would be lovely to have that kind of career. I think it will still be possible for me in the future if I really committed to it. I think once I found out I was pregnant, like after processing it for a few weeks, it kind of just felt a lot less important to do that stuff right now than to have this baby.

So I don't see it as like I'm giving up all of my hopes and dreams to do this. I kind of think it would be a detour for sure. The one thing is I did want to have a family and like with a loving partner and such. And this is kind of also not exactly how I pictured it, but I just don't see it as like I need to decide between all of that.

Yeah. So he, um, kind of a major part of this is he has an illness that, um, is preventing him from doing a lot of the stuff that he wants to do and would also prevent him from being the kind of father that he would want to be right now.

I don't really want to go into the specifics of it, but basically like he's trying to figure out where to live his life and how to live his life so that he can heal. Um, so his immediate plan was to try to move somewhere different, um, which might help him or just be more exciting to him. He's kind of a flighty person. He's always moved from place to place. He's avoided relationships.

it is unclear um it doesn't seem to be like fatal in the immediate term um but it definitely impedes a lot of what he's able to do on a daily basis they're kind of still it's a fairly new thing and they're looking for solutions to it but it's not not really clear right now okay and why can't he be the dad he wants to be Yeah, so I think it's a mixture of he can't and he doesn't want to be.

To be honest, like he can't provide financially, which is okay. Like I have a job and I also have a strong support system who will be able to support me physically, financially and emotionally if need be. And the other thing is he feels like raising a baby, like with all of the exhaustion that goes with it and like the commitment.

will be a detriment to him like a part of this is extreme fatigue and he can get exhausted like very easily just from a conversation with someone so he is worried about that aspect of it even though I'm not asking him to like stay up nights and like take care of the crying baby I'm kind of like he has enough energy to have sex that's a fair point yeah he does

So she came in kind of after I told him that I've made a decision and I would really like appreciate it if he would stop pressuring me so I can focus on reducing my stress. Yeah. She reached out to me the next day and asked if she could talk to me. And then we had like an hour and a half long conversation where she said some really diabolical stuff.

um like what that this is like extremely cruel and selfish and i would just be if i had this baby i would just be like shattering so many lives like pieces of broken glass and that is a crazy thing to say uh they also both have implied that i am at fault for getting myself pregnant and of course you know well yeah of course yeah yeah

And that I it's really fucked up that I didn't sit him down and tell him that I probably wouldn't want to have an abortion if I got pregnant unexpectedly. Like that is a huge thing that they both keep bringing up.

that there's a chance I wouldn't wanna have an abortion if I got pregnant.

No, no. He just gave it no thoughts. He assumed that anyone he sleeps with like would automatically be willing to get an abortion.

yeah i guess that's like part of what i'm struggling with a little bit because i keep being told by him that this is super selfish because he doesn't want it and his opinion should matter just as much as mine since it's just as much his baby as it is mine and he doesn't want his baby to like grow up without a father and obviously all his friends agree with him that it's super fucked up that i would do this and

Yeah, I think that's it.

Yeah. And for also inflicting the trauma on the child of not having a father that's around, which is his choice.

like we all have trauma.

Yeah, that's kind of more or less the last thing that I said to him about this matter. And he responded in a really, like,

aggressive not aggressive but just like inflammatory way um but i do feel i do strongly believe that he's like a very kind and compassionate person i'm sure he is time this will kind of fizzle out this anger hopefully i don't know i feel like maybe he'll be always resentful of me that's we we don't know you can certainly be hopeful i wouldn't make any of your decisions based off your hope but yeah

So like going forward throughout, I would say this pregnancy and beyond, how do you think I should approach him if he does decide to be in my life? I mean, there's a good chance he won't because the last thing also he said to me was, well, not the last thing, but he did very firmly say, like, if you get an abortion, I'll be there with you and support you and I'll be by your side.

And if you don't, then our friendship, quote unquote, is over because I can't support this. But if he does change his mind about that and he doesn't want to stay in my life, which I think he might, I would really love to cultivate a good relationship with him without allowing him to guilt me about this stuff.

Yeah, it's hard to find the balance of he says these things to me and then I feel like I have to defend myself a little bit. And then that really stresses me out.

It's hard to draw the line between defending myself and not responding at all.

Thankfully, there's only like a week left where he can even keep trying to convince me. It'll be too late after that. So that'll probably change the dynamic a little bit. But yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Yeah, absolutely. All right. Well, thank you.

Thank you.

But I'll keep you posted.

Okay.

So I'm the mom to 10-year-old twins, which is a thing.

And I run a nonprofit that builds affordable housing and helps small businesses. That's great.

We need all the things.

Oh, that would be tariffs.

Thanks so much. Bye. Bye-bye.

Hi, this is Alexis Breitnacher calling from Cummington, Massachusetts.

I'm doing very well.

Well, Choice B does just sound like dating in Chicago, and as a single person, I understand. But I think I'll have to go with Doyelle.

It sounds very plausible, like somebody would do it. It sounds like it's already a scheme, but I will have to go with Joyelle.

I've done it. It's no big deal. I'm not a new thing.

I don't want to see you tonight.

Hi, Peter. Hi, who's this? Alexis from Chicago. Chicago? All right. Thank you.