Alexis Fernandez-Preiksa

Be careful not to get too caught up in being so self-analytical because sometimes you actually become less self-aware the more you analyze your situation.

So we can become so good at the analytical theoretical side of things that it actually blocks our real self-awareness with what's going on.

The reason I say this is because you talk about limerence and love bombing, which you probably know a lot about because you've probably done a lot of research and a lot of that, but I don't think either of those two things are happening.

Firstly, let's talk about love bombing.

Love bombing is an intentional manipulation tool.

So you might be intense with the feelings of love, but unless you're intentionally trying to manipulate someone for an outcome after the love bombing, then you're not love bombing.

You're just intense with your emotions and love and it feels like this huge surge and it happens really quickly and all of that.

But if, yeah, there has to be that manipulation aspect knowingly for it to be love bombing.

The second thing is you talk about limerence and there's kind of, you cancel it out.

You say, I make deep connections.

But it's limerence.

It's impossible to have a deep connection in a limerent relationship because the point of limerence is that you actually don't fall in love with the individual.

You fall in love with the idea that you have of this person where you're filling in the gaps because there isn't that connection close enough yet.

You don't have a deep enough understanding.

So instead of it being I've fallen in love, that's really how you know the difference between love or deep connection.

caring for someone even if it might not be love quite yet but this deep like these deep feelings that you have someone versus limerence where you become so infatuated and so borderline obsessed with the idea of someone and you fill in all the gaps and you create a relationship in your imagination of what could be and how good it could be that's why these limerent

um feelings that we have for someone is sometimes as painful as a loving relationship breakup because it's so intense and then the like the the aftermath of that falling apart or that person that you're so in love with just showing you that they don't want to be with you it's so full-on that that pain can be just as bad as the pain of someone that you love leaving you okay

I don't know if it's a lack of awareness that you actually don't have a real connection with this person and it feels like a real connection and it is a limerent situation or you're mislabelling it and it's not limerence and you are having a real connection but you just get over it and that's why you're not sad when it ends.

So what are we kind of looking at?

And I feel like you don't want to go into a loop of continuously analysing it because you've already been doing that and it's not working for you.