Alie Ward

This is tragically true.

if you're a pubic lice.

But let's go back in time to the good days, 3.3 million years ago, when the pubic lice made its evolutionary leap to proto-humans from its former flame, gorillas.

According to the 2021 paper in the World Journal of Clinical Cases titled, Crab Lice Infestation in Unilateral Eyelashes and Adjacent Eyelids, a Case Report,

Pubic lice can also hit your eyes.

Cases involving the eyelashes are rare, but they can be spread through sexual contact or by dirty towels or skin.

If you want pubic lice in your eyelids, get eyelash extensions.

Those are slightly more desirable habitat for our tiny little friends.

Now, another vacation destination for crabs, Mormon armpits.

According to a 2022 article inquisitively titled, Are Mormon College Students Getting Pubic Crabs in Their Armpits?

And this article reports some rumors and some firsthand tales of

pubic lice spreading to armpits as an intercourse alternative.

Now, The Pestilential Past of Bithyrius Pubis, which A-plus title, that was a presentation at the British Dermatology 100th Annual Conference.

And this paper, what a delight.

It takes an endearingly pro-lice stance, lamenting all the sex-in-the-city-induced trends of full waxing.

And this poster reads, Deforestation can have

devastating impact on Pythurius as they are largely fixed to the pubic hair and they move slowly.

Without long-term housing, the louse has to move on or die.

But lice are ancient and resourceful, it says, so it's likely that they will outsmart mankind and be here long after humans are gone.

It says, wow, that's inspiring for lice.