Alie Ward

You can have

increased or yellowish or greenish discharge, bleeding between periods if you get those, anal discharge, some blood in your stool itching around the butthole.

Now that's gonorrhea, affectionately called the clap.

Now what about knowing if you have HPV?

You don't, unless you get tested.

Or you might have symptoms like, for people with penises, warts on the penis, scrotum around the anus, itching or discomfort in the area, small growths or lumps, irritation or bleeding with warts, changes in skin texture around the crotch.

If you have a vagina, you might have pain during sex, genital warts on your vulva, pain in the pelvic region, some abnormal discharge, unusual bleeding like after sex.

So that is HPV.

What about the infection with the most beautiful name, chlamydia?

I know we've all thought, why such a beautiful name?

It means the flower of the military cloak, which makes no sense to me.

But you can look for symptoms such as nothing, like chlamydia can have no symptoms, so get tested.

Or you might have pain or burning while you pee, unusual discharge, might smell bad from the pee-pee or the vagina, swelling of the butthole.

the balls or vagina.

You might bleed between periods.

You might have pain during vaginal sex.

You might have lower abdominal pain.

Also, anyone who's listening to this,

out loud or in the car on a road trip.

You signed it.