Alison Pugh

That's so well put.

Parents shouldn't be saying, I want you to sing my song.

Parents should be saying, I want you to sing your song.

You know your kids so well.

It's very tempting to be like, this is what I see and I am right.

They have to make their way.

And, um,

Yeah, the restraint that that requires among those of us who have maybe studied our children all their lives is considerable.

I mean, I hear the pain in that question, and I would say it's widely shared and

One of the reasons why I wrote the book I wrote was to give people a vocabulary to be able to assert their needs as connective labor practitioners.

Because what I found is that too often we are relying on people as individual heroes.

And instead, there's a social architecture that organizations put into place that support it or impede it.

And it sounds like this writer is working in a context in which her labor is being kind of taken for granted and perhaps even impeded by her organization.

And that actually is a tragedy.

I ended up finding a set of factors that contribute to kind of a good social architecture where what kind of organizations are doing it right.

And one of the key factors is, are there other people to talk to who do this?

I ended up calling that a sounding board.

And are there sounding boards out there?

And this is, you know, something that therapists know, teachers know, you know, like they have those, that's a kind of common practice to have a group of people who are, you know, I had one teacher who was, he was like the math family, you know, the people who teach math, that's who I'm talking to about

Or therapists have a kind of very extensive, you know, supervision, but also, you know, kind of consultative practice with other therapists where they can talk about what they're experiencing or finding or processing.