Allison Holker
speaker
558 appearances
4 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Allison Holker’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
with their daughter or their son or even their partner or you know they don't have to do it publicly in a big platform but sometimes just having that conversation like you said can just really bond you with someone as well well i think for me what i've also realized as a parent is i didn't realize how much my kids were looking at me as like a hero which is so beautiful and i think there's a lot of strength to that yeah and they looked at me and my daughter said to me one time she was like you just are so perfect
And that was when the realization was like, but I'm not. I have so many flaws, but the flaws make me beautiful. But I realized that our kids look at us and if we don't share some of these things that we've experienced or decisions that we've made that maybe don't come as like the best outcome, you know, if we don't share with them enough, we don't look real sometimes to them.
And then they start to question, well, if I had this weird thought or I thought about doing this or I did this, like maybe I'm not a good person. And so I've realized that with talking with my daughter and sharing a little bit more honest feelings about things I've done or things I've said or things I regret or things that have happened to me, then we've connected so much deeper now.
And she feels a lot more honest and vulnerable with me in the conversations and the type of things that we talk about now. And so it really has gave us this base. I don't unload onto my daughter where it feels like we need to probably set some healthy boundaries, but I give her enough of who I am that she can really feel like she can be authentically herself with me.
Yeah, because she knows I'm not gonna judge her. And I know that it's a trusting give where she's not gonna judge who I am either.
Yeah, I realized through therapy, I really was unpacking some of my past relationships and a lot of the experiences I've had with past relationships. And I had the biggest aha moment with my therapist. And she knew all along, bless her heart, she already knew, but she needed me to uncover it, that I had felt so alone for so many years growing up.
And then I always had to advocate for myself and I always had to stand tall by myself and take care of everything for myself that really I just kind of wish I could have leaned on someone. So I've been a people pleaser to so many other people my whole life because really I wanted people doing that for me. But I thought that's how I had to give love, because it was what I felt like I was missing.
So I had to unpack that for a lot of years. So now I'm learning to balance myself a little bit with not being so much of a people pleaser, trying to care for everyone else.
Let them sometimes care for me and take care of me sometimes, because that's really where stronger relationships are even built, is the balance and the ebb and flow of letting someone else kind of carry your weight sometimes too.
Well, I had to unpack so much, like I was a single mom. Going back to LA, I was also kind of embarrassed. I had moved back to Utah. I did everything I said I wasn't gonna do. I was gonna move to LA and be this big dancer, but then I had a child and moved home. So I had to unpack like, okay, will people accept me again? Can I do it while being a mother?
At that time as a dancer, there weren't that many other examples of single mothers dancing. Because like I said earlier, a lot of dancers, their lifespans are short. And so I was like, can I get back out there? Will people accept me in this new kind of capacity? Is it the best decision for my daughter?
But then it was when my mom said those words to me and my mom said to me also that it was hurting her seeing me lose so much of who I was and what I worked for, you know, and what she had also worked for. And she knew how much dance healed me and brought me so much joy. So she wanted to see me back out there. And when my mom said that to me, I was like, yeah, you're right.
Everything you're saying is right. I cannot be an example to my daughter to chase her dreams and go after and be everything she wants to be if I give up on my own dream. Because kids learn by example. I can talk and talk and talk my face off, which I do love to talk. I do love to hear my voice. But I need to lead by example.
And I knew that dance, I've always known my whole life that dance was my purpose. And I was supposed to bring love and joy to people. And I was supposed to encourage other young girls to become that version of themselves that they want to be. And so I was like, I've got to do this. I have to do this. And for my daughter, but also for me.
You know, I think sometimes people are embarrassed to say that their dreams are also for themselves. I was for years because I was always like, I'm only dancing for my daughter to be an example to her, which I was for a long time, but it was also for me. To prove to myself that I can stand on my own and be strong and go after it. And I deserve to stand in these rooms. I deserve to be here.
And I had worked really hard. And I really do attest all of my success to... to the fact that I believed in myself because I deserved to be there. And it also, having a child only gave me more gusto because I can't move to LA and not succeed now. I was at the feet of another mouth, you know?
So it gave me more gusto to succeed even more and do more and, and bring her, bring her that same love and joy that I had.
No, it actually was. It was. Wait, the time with the fishnet shirt and the piercings? Oh, well, no, no, no. I didn't even remember meeting him. I didn't even know that's who he was. That is true. Okay, the first time I ever met Steven I was actually on season two of So You Think You Can Dance. And he had not been on the show yet. And I met him at a party. He was like, I'm Twitch.
I don't even know what he said. But he was like in a fishnet top. And I didn't know this until years later. He told me about this. I didn't know this was happening. So he remembers. He remembers meeting me. Because he was a fan of mine when I was on the show.
And he had like a mohawk and he had like nine piercings, which is totally fine to have, but that was just like, it was very different version of who I met later. He had like nine piercings on his face. But he was wearing like literally, if you imagine NSYNC doing a music video, that's what he was dressed like, just... out in Irvine, California on like a Sunday afternoon.
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