Allison Holker

Oh, this will be something I will always be confused about. So the night Steven, he came home. He was very triggered. He was very triggered. Me and Wesley were watching The White Lotus show. We loved that show. And he came in and I could tell something was wrong. Um, he had texted me earlier that night, a tree emoji, which was his way of telling me he was going to the dispensary.

Um, he didn't do it that often though, but if he was going, you know, either he told me, but I was with Wesley, so he probably didn't want to say to me that he was going. So sometimes he would use like a tree emoji or symbolism and text me. Um, but the reason that night it felt different was because the next day when he decided to take his life, he had been at the Oak Tree Inn.

Um, he didn't do it that often though, but if he was going, you know, either he told me, but I was with Wesley, so he probably didn't want to say to me that he was going. So sometimes he would use like a tree emoji or symbolism and text me. Um, but the reason that night it felt different was because the next day when he decided to take his life, he had been at the Oak Tree Inn.

Um, he didn't do it that often though, but if he was going, you know, either he told me, but I was with Wesley, so he probably didn't want to say to me that he was going. So sometimes he would use like a tree emoji or symbolism and text me. Um, but the reason that night it felt different was because the next day when he decided to take his life, he had been at the Oak Tree Inn.

And there was a tree that looked just like the emoji. And the dispensary was right across the street. And I've always wondered to myself, was he at the hotel already? Is that why he came home so triggered? Had he attempted and then got scared and then was too shameful to tell me? And I'll never know. But that night was very triggering for me. And it was very obviously triggering for him

And there was a tree that looked just like the emoji. And the dispensary was right across the street. And I've always wondered to myself, was he at the hotel already? Is that why he came home so triggered? Had he attempted and then got scared and then was too shameful to tell me? And I'll never know. But that night was very triggering for me. And it was very obviously triggering for him

And there was a tree that looked just like the emoji. And the dispensary was right across the street. And I've always wondered to myself, was he at the hotel already? Is that why he came home so triggered? Had he attempted and then got scared and then was too shameful to tell me? And I'll never know. But that night was very triggering for me. And it was very obviously triggering for him

But I'll never know. But that emoji will always kind of be a little bit of a scar for me.

But I'll never know. But that emoji will always kind of be a little bit of a scar for me.

But I'll never know. But that emoji will always kind of be a little bit of a scar for me.

When I went to the cops the first time, they wouldn't even let me in because I'm not sure what the rules are everywhere, but in LA, you can't report an adult missing shorter than 24 hours. So I had called and tried reporting and it wasn't working. I had ran there because I was like, this is just different. And they wouldn't even open the door to me to report him a missing person.

When I went to the cops the first time, they wouldn't even let me in because I'm not sure what the rules are everywhere, but in LA, you can't report an adult missing shorter than 24 hours. So I had called and tried reporting and it wasn't working. I had ran there because I was like, this is just different. And they wouldn't even open the door to me to report him a missing person.

When I went to the cops the first time, they wouldn't even let me in because I'm not sure what the rules are everywhere, but in LA, you can't report an adult missing shorter than 24 hours. So I had called and tried reporting and it wasn't working. I had ran there because I was like, this is just different. And they wouldn't even open the door to me to report him a missing person.

And I just knew something was wrong. I just, I knew this isn't my husband. He hasn't just not come home. He hasn't just like take off and, you know, miss dinner with my kids. He doesn't just do any of that. So I knew something was really, really wrong. And I was convinced he was hurt. I was convinced he had been in a car wreck or I didn't know.

And I just knew something was wrong. I just, I knew this isn't my husband. He hasn't just not come home. He hasn't just like take off and, you know, miss dinner with my kids. He doesn't just do any of that. So I knew something was really, really wrong. And I was convinced he was hurt. I was convinced he had been in a car wreck or I didn't know.

And I just knew something was wrong. I just, I knew this isn't my husband. He hasn't just not come home. He hasn't just like take off and, you know, miss dinner with my kids. He doesn't just do any of that. So I knew something was really, really wrong. And I was convinced he was hurt. I was convinced he had been in a car wreck or I didn't know.

I had no idea, but I was convinced he was in a hospital or he had been wrongfully arrested. But they wouldn't accept me for 24 hours. And then when I finally made the report, you know, now I look back and I'm like, unfortunately, these reports are probably being made, unfortunately, way too often than they should.

I had no idea, but I was convinced he was in a hospital or he had been wrongfully arrested. But they wouldn't accept me for 24 hours. And then when I finally made the report, you know, now I look back and I'm like, unfortunately, these reports are probably being made, unfortunately, way too often than they should.

I had no idea, but I was convinced he was in a hospital or he had been wrongfully arrested. But they wouldn't accept me for 24 hours. And then when I finally made the report, you know, now I look back and I'm like, unfortunately, these reports are probably being made, unfortunately, way too often than they should.

And so I now know that they were just doing their jobs, but it felt like when they were asking me questions, they were like, you don't, He's probably just ran away at a bar with friends, doesn't want to see you, you know. And it just felt like they were shoving this man away, like, you know. But really, you know, they were doing their jobs and they were doing a really good job.