Allison Pugh

Yes. I realized that the in-depth interviewing that I do that involves this kind of seeing is a clinical practice. And it's a clinical practice like nursing and like teaching and like... And what do all of those professions have in common is they have an apprentice model of teaching in which someone does something in front of other people and then gets immediate feedback.

Yes. I realized that the in-depth interviewing that I do that involves this kind of seeing is a clinical practice. And it's a clinical practice like nursing and like teaching and like... And what do all of those professions have in common is they have an apprentice model of teaching in which someone does something in front of other people and then gets immediate feedback.

Yes. I realized that the in-depth interviewing that I do that involves this kind of seeing is a clinical practice. And it's a clinical practice like nursing and like teaching and like... And what do all of those professions have in common is they have an apprentice model of teaching in which someone does something in front of other people and then gets immediate feedback.

One of the first things that they have to do is kind of get out of the way. And I often like to think about airspace as like a soccer ball and who is controlling the soccer ball. And you want to pass the soccer ball, you know. If you're too present, then the other person just doesn't have the space to put themselves in there. Right.

One of the first things that they have to do is kind of get out of the way. And I often like to think about airspace as like a soccer ball and who is controlling the soccer ball. And you want to pass the soccer ball, you know. If you're too present, then the other person just doesn't have the space to put themselves in there. Right.

One of the first things that they have to do is kind of get out of the way. And I often like to think about airspace as like a soccer ball and who is controlling the soccer ball. And you want to pass the soccer ball, you know. If you're too present, then the other person just doesn't have the space to put themselves in there. Right.

And that can preclude, that can impede seeing of the other for sure.

And that can preclude, that can impede seeing of the other for sure.

And that can preclude, that can impede seeing of the other for sure.

Yeah. So if you're like completely sure that the other person is really passionate about such and such and you say that to them and they're like, no, actually, it's more like this. This is what I actually care about. You have to hear that. And actually, the correcting process. can help people feel even more seen. If they are able to correct you and you say, oh yes, now I get it.

Yeah. So if you're like completely sure that the other person is really passionate about such and such and you say that to them and they're like, no, actually, it's more like this. This is what I actually care about. You have to hear that. And actually, the correcting process. can help people feel even more seen. If they are able to correct you and you say, oh yes, now I get it.

Yeah. So if you're like completely sure that the other person is really passionate about such and such and you say that to them and they're like, no, actually, it's more like this. This is what I actually care about. You have to hear that. And actually, the correcting process. can help people feel even more seen. If they are able to correct you and you say, oh yes, now I get it.

The other thing I would say is in our quickness to leap into a conversation with somebody with our own views or assumptions, what I think is really important is actually hearing what the other person is not saying, hearing the emotion that they're not naming. If you can hear an emotion behind what someone's saying and say, wow, it sounds like you're feeling nervous about that.

The other thing I would say is in our quickness to leap into a conversation with somebody with our own views or assumptions, what I think is really important is actually hearing what the other person is not saying, hearing the emotion that they're not naming. If you can hear an emotion behind what someone's saying and say, wow, it sounds like you're feeling nervous about that.

The other thing I would say is in our quickness to leap into a conversation with somebody with our own views or assumptions, what I think is really important is actually hearing what the other person is not saying, hearing the emotion that they're not naming. If you can hear an emotion behind what someone's saying and say, wow, it sounds like you're feeling nervous about that.

Or it sounds like you're feeling, it sounds like that gives you a lot of pride. It doesn't have to be a negative emotion. It's like, if you can kind of hear whatever emotion is behind, that's very powerful for people. If they didn't say it and you name it, they feel very seen. And kind of in the naming, when you're doing that kind of naming, you're making it safe for them.

Or it sounds like you're feeling, it sounds like that gives you a lot of pride. It doesn't have to be a negative emotion. It's like, if you can kind of hear whatever emotion is behind, that's very powerful for people. If they didn't say it and you name it, they feel very seen. And kind of in the naming, when you're doing that kind of naming, you're making it safe for them.

Or it sounds like you're feeling, it sounds like that gives you a lot of pride. It doesn't have to be a negative emotion. It's like, if you can kind of hear whatever emotion is behind, that's very powerful for people. If they didn't say it and you name it, they feel very seen. And kind of in the naming, when you're doing that kind of naming, you're making it safe for them.

Exactly. That's why it's a boost, a huge boost. Now, I would also say it's a little more challenging, maybe. But it is true that if you can bump it up a level and go to what's not being said out loud, but that you really perceive, that is very powerful. Yeah.

Exactly. That's why it's a boost, a huge boost. Now, I would also say it's a little more challenging, maybe. But it is true that if you can bump it up a level and go to what's not being said out loud, but that you really perceive, that is very powerful. Yeah.