Amrou Al-Kadhi

Contradictions have come to govern my life.

As a queer person raised Muslim, contradictions of belief systems almost tore me apart.

Scientifically, the very foundation of our world is full of contradictions.

Quantum physics is a glorious and strange sect of physics that caused quite a stir in the 20th century world of science.

Whereas classical Newtonian physics was ostensibly interested in observable reality on a kind of macro scale and was interested in finding the fixed rules and formula that govern our universe at large, quantum physics is interested in the very smallest things in our universe.

For quantum physicists, atoms are huge.

Even the things that make up atoms, neutrons, protons, electrons, they're huge.

Quantum physics is interested in the very smallest subatomic particles, you know, the Higgs, bosons, leptons, quarks.

And the way that these subatomic particles behave has defied what we thought were the fixed principles of our universe.

So I'll explain this with the most simple experiment, which is, well, the most famous experiment, which is basically you have a wall with two slits and you fire an electron through the wall, and the electron will either go through the left or right hole and will be detected on the reader on the other end.

But every now and then, the same electron finds itself going through both holes at the same time, and it's detected in two places.

So the same electron finds itself in more than one place at the same time.

It kind of revealed that reality was a set of constructs.

So by that, I mean we can only really observe an abstracted or a kind of limited version of the multiple events happening at the core of things.

And so with this knowledge, I decided to do something that I promised myself I wouldn't since the age of 13.

I reread the Quran.

I wanted to see if there was anything I could find in there that would help me find harmony between my queer and Islamic identity, as if both could coexist in me simultaneously, like those mischievous subatomic particles.

When I reread the Quran, I came across these two wonderful passages about Allah.

that he is the one who shapes you in the womb as he pleases.

And of his signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the differences of your tongues and colors.