Amy Cuddy

Yes.

Yes.

I often ask people, what is your biggest challenge? Like what is the situation that you approach with dread and that you execute with anxiety and that you leave with a sense of regret? And so if you look at all, so dread, that is you projecting yourself into a future that's not gone well. So you're borrowing trouble, basically.

I often ask people, what is your biggest challenge? Like what is the situation that you approach with dread and that you execute with anxiety and that you leave with a sense of regret? And so if you look at all, so dread, that is you projecting yourself into a future that's not gone well. So you're borrowing trouble, basically.

The anxiety in the moment is you thinking more about what the other person thinks of you than what they're actually just thinking. You're worried about what you said a minute ago or what's gonna happen afterwards. You're not able to be in the present. And then regret is what we call post-event processing.

The anxiety in the moment is you thinking more about what the other person thinks of you than what they're actually just thinking. You're worried about what you said a minute ago or what's gonna happen afterwards. You're not able to be in the present. And then regret is what we call post-event processing.

You're going over it wanting a do-over, going, I didn't show, I wasn't seen, they didn't see who I am. You know that feeling like, oh, they didn't see who I am. And you wanna go back in and like in a rom-com, you get to have a do-over. But in life, you don't. So that sense of regret becomes like a piece of baggage that you carry into the next similar situation.

You're going over it wanting a do-over, going, I didn't show, I wasn't seen, they didn't see who I am. You know that feeling like, oh, they didn't see who I am. And you wanna go back in and like in a rom-com, you get to have a do-over. But in life, you don't. So that sense of regret becomes like a piece of baggage that you carry into the next similar situation.

And then you're worried because you don't want to do the same thing.

And then you're worried because you don't want to do the same thing.

What if we could approach with the sense of composure and execute it with a kind of calm and grounded confidence and leave feeling satisfied. Even if we don't get the outcome that we want, we know that we did everything we could to show up. They saw who I was and it wasn't the right fit or whatever. And I can accept that outcome.

What if we could approach with the sense of composure and execute it with a kind of calm and grounded confidence and leave feeling satisfied. Even if we don't get the outcome that we want, we know that we did everything we could to show up. They saw who I was and it wasn't the right fit or whatever. And I can accept that outcome.

So you can both accept the outcome and not have that extra piece of baggage.

So you can both accept the outcome and not have that extra piece of baggage.

I don't even know where to begin. It's because there are also, first of all, if I make any statement about where I stand on that, there will be a million people telling me I'm absolutely wrong. But that's like, and the truth is complicated, right? Like, and in some ways, social media, like, so, you know, my son's on TikTok and I can't believe the,

I don't even know where to begin. It's because there are also, first of all, if I make any statement about where I stand on that, there will be a million people telling me I'm absolutely wrong. But that's like, and the truth is complicated, right? Like, and in some ways, social media, like, so, you know, my son's on TikTok and I can't believe the,

the courage he has now to just put a video out there and sometimes it goes and sometimes it doesn't and he's fine if it doesn't go, if it doesn't move. So I think that that's actually been really good for him. He doesn't feel rejected. He just feels like, well, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but I'm never gonna know if I don't put myself out there. So I think in some ways,

the courage he has now to just put a video out there and sometimes it goes and sometimes it doesn't and he's fine if it doesn't go, if it doesn't move. So I think that that's actually been really good for him. He doesn't feel rejected. He just feels like, well, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but I'm never gonna know if I don't put myself out there. So I think in some ways,

young people have become more courageous at trying things. I mean, you know, yes, I would like them to spend less time on it. And I like that he's doing music. You know, he's like putting out my kid's doing quality content. But I think that in some ways it's actually given young people an opportunity to be braver. To express themselves in certain ways. Yeah, exactly.

young people have become more courageous at trying things. I mean, you know, yes, I would like them to spend less time on it. And I like that he's doing music. You know, he's like putting out my kid's doing quality content. But I think that in some ways it's actually given young people an opportunity to be braver. To express themselves in certain ways. Yeah, exactly.