Amy Goyer

I can't control the diseases my loved ones have, but I can control my own mindset.

My name is Amy Goyer, and I serve as AARP's National Family and Caregiving Expert.

But during that time, I was also primary caregiver for my sister, who was 2,000 miles away.

I always felt like I was living for people's lives.

The thing is, you start to absorb what other people are going through.

When you have someone, especially someone that you love, who is going through so much and it's physical stress, it's emotional stress, financial stress, you know, every type of stress you can think of, you may be absorbing that.

And that's on top of the normal stress of caregiving.

It's like the membrane between the two of you kind of gets thin.

Yes, and wanting to walk away is one of the big red flags.

When you start having these thoughts, I can't do this anymore.

I just want to walk away.

Even though you think I would never do it, I want to.

That's a red flag.

I have a philosophy that I developed.

During those years when I was caring for so many people at once.

I was driving my car.

And again, you know, I'm so busy.

I'm working.

Everybody's going to the doctors and the hospitals and everything.

And I realized I was on fumes.