Anastasia Berg
Appearances
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And while this all feels very specific to millennials... These are actually very old questions. Should I bring more human life? Is it worth the sacrifice and trouble? We see this question raised by the ancient Greeks. We see it raised in the earliest Christian context. So thinking about...
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
What was the last thing you ate in your car? I will say, I feel like I've been doing a lot of eating in my car these days. I'm nine months pregnant, and so I do a lot of eating.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
What it takes to have children, thinking about bringing children, knowing that human beings are always liable to morally err. All the way up to the 19th century, we have an explosion of what today we would call the antinatalist concerns.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Particularly for me, being here in Detroit, I think part of the context that I like to give is even just the sense of place, the neighborhood that a new restaurant is has opened up in is really important, especially for a city that's quickly gentrifying. I think when we look at what Keith Lee does, that piece might not be there, but I think he also is offering a sort of service journalism as well.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
The political developments that we disapprove of, climate change, recall of reproductive rights, economic hardship, all these things we see as signs that perhaps it would be irresponsible to bring an unconsenting person into this life, and maybe it would be irresponsible vis-a-vis life on the planet.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I think I might disagree a little in that I think that he is in some way sort of shifting the culinary ecology, like you mentioned, because I think that he is calling attention to some of these restaurants that aren't covered by someone like me, you know, who aren't being covered in the local papers or magazines, you know, shiny media.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And so I think in a way that makes a huge difference and really does change things for consumers of his content, but also consumers of the culinary economy, right? And I think that what he does is work that really does help local restaurant scenes in a great way. It's for the restaurant owners, these small business owners that tend to be mom and pop, that tend to be Black-owned.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
minority-owned BIPOC in general for the most part.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I think when you look at social media food criticism, what I could understand is some of these social media critics are paid to do these reviews, who are contracted by these restaurants and also put out reviews on food that they've gotten for free, food that they're photographing in the best light, really rolled out the red carpets to come in and paint these restaurants in a good light.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And so I think that that smoke and mirrors of social media can be dangerous when you're talking about criticism or when you're calling it criticism. Because that's not really what it is. It's marketing. And so I think that line gets blurred and that can be dangerous. But that's not really what Keith Lee is doing. I come from the beauty industry and I remember that same energy towards the blogger.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
You know, it was that same eye roll. Who is this? I think history repeats itself in a lot of ways. And I'm not surprised that some people would have some animosity. But I think there's a lot of ways to look at it.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I like that controversial take. I 100% agree. I think the other thing that I would just add is that what's nice about the way that the scene has evolved is that we have the Korshas. We have a lot more food writers who are able to write stories about Keith Lee and about cultural criticism. I feel like there's more diversity in food coverage when we have
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
food writers, food beat writers who can write about multiple things. But I also think that if we phased out the critics position, not even just in food criticism, but in criticism overall, because it is sort of a dying field, we would never get the perspective of someone like me, of a person of color, a woman, you know, I think it's been a largely white male dominated position.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And so we've only gotten one perspective for a really long time. And to Korsha's point, it would be the fault of the hiring managers who make that perspective, you know, that Eurocentric perspective, the North Star or the gold standard. Then what we're saying is that no other taste preference, no other palette, no other person can tell you what tastes good. Or where to go to eat?
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Or what is great about the food scene in your city? And I think that that would make us a really ignorant people. I think that we would be worse off as diners, as eaters, if we were only able to see food through the lens of one demographic. I just think we would be doing a disservice to our readers.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Thank you. This is great.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Definitely. Though, interestingly enough, We saw people say, I had a messed up childhood. I don't want to repeat that. We also saw people say, I had a really difficult childhood and I want to create a happy family. Like when I think about why I want to have kids in my life is because I want to give them what I didn't have. And so I feel like that can go both ways. And in fact, I saw people say it.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
You know, I had a happy enough childhood, but I'm not sure I can do the same for my children or how to do it. Or, you know, my sister is going to have the kids and I'm going to be a happy aunt or uncle. So the question of the family history, I think, can go either way. But what's definitely true, and I think that's something actually we don't talk about enough, is that...
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
For many of us, it doesn't take something as dramatic as a completely absent father to actually wonder, do I want to recreate the childhood and family life that I've had? And also feeling kind of helpless that I don't even know how I would do different.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
No, I think that's so true. And I think it's not just you're sort of wondering, oh, how do I not create it? You're also thinking, okay. man, like even when it's going okay, it is so tough. I'm not sure I can do a good job of it. And I need to sacrifice maybe my career progress, maybe the quality of my relationship, my own personal growth. Maybe I can't do better.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Thank you so much for having me.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Maybe it's going to be tough for us as well. And I think that's why a lot of people are afraid to take that risk.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
So I think in addition to the fact that a lot of very positive developments that do allow women and men to have more flexibility in terms of whether or not to have children, whether they're going to have the children. We also see something I sometimes call the kind of self-evidence of a logic of infinite postponement. I've heard from women who will talk about even in their
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
early, well, until about mid, edging the mid-30s, hearing even from their doctors, like, you don't have to worry about this yet. And we certainly say that to each other. You don't have to worry about it. I think sometimes it can underserve us.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
It can underserve us not because everyone needs to have their kids young, but the fact we're taking for granted that the latest we have children, the better. I'm not sure that's always the best strategy.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And I actually think it's a bit refreshing that somebody like Charlie XCX or Tyler, the creator who are younger, are comfortable in expressing the fact that they are thinking about this question, that it's alive for them. Because what happens is it's not that people are, as we were talking earlier, dating with a Vita family and then decide, okay, now I'm in the relationship.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
A bratty baby, I would say. Okay, okay.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Everything is lined up. Now I'm ready to have them. What happens is they're not even thinking about kids. And so then what happens is that there comes a moment when they think I can't postpone thinking about it anymore. And then there's panic. especially on the side of women who are more limited biologically in terms of kind of extending their timelines indefinitely.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
And so one of the things I would like to see is people being comfortable not having the kids younger. I don't care when you have your kids, but I do care that people are given the opportunity. And I think actually this is like a feminist goal is that women are given the opportunity and the knowledge that they need in order to make these decisions and
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
about how to date and how to live and how to plan out their lives when it matters most. Again, so not to have that decision being made for people as opposed to by the people themselves.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Yeah, I think we live in a society that's both pronatalist and antenatalist. And I think it's important to notice that. So we've heard from women, especially ones, so I'm going to qualify it, especially ones who are in, can call it like avant-garde professions or disciplines. So academics, people in the media, people in the arts. And they'll say, pressure to have kids.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I felt pressure not to have kids.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I felt pressure from parents, certainly from colleagues. It was frowned upon when I was thinking about it, when I had them, etc.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Yeah, so we have, I think, very loud and very strong pressures coming from different directions. Let me give another example. So one thing we look at is film and television. And we find that after years where women played the role of second fiddle, there were wives and mothers and secretaries, we have them now taking center stage, the protagonists of shows and films.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
It is remarkable how often they are a protagonist but how rarely they are a mother. So from the stoners of Broad City to the spies of Homeland to the kind of political operatives of Scandal and House of Cards, they're very rarely mothers.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
So again, somebody attuned to that messaging will say, well, the message is you could be anything you want to be, lady, as long as you're deprioritizing motherhood. I think both things are happening at the same time. I think your cab driver is asking questions he should not.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
But I also think that we are seeing fewer and fewer representations of how you can combine motherhood with a truly fulfilling and intellectually and artistic and professionally really ambitious life.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I love that. I completely agree with you. And I think that this kind of binary, which is not just a grasp of the question as a binary one, but it's also this binary that we have in identities that we see people kind of doubling down on the identity of the the woes with kids and the childless. I think these are underserving us.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
I think the question I would like to have people ask is, do I want to take part in, sometimes I call it a little facetiously, team humanity? Do I think we deserve a future and a good one? And if so, only then, and if the answer is yes, then I can ask, how are you going to do it? Are you going to do it by having biological children?
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Maybe you're going to be a parent, but these aren't your biological children. Maybe you're going to be a great aunt. Maybe you're going to be a godparent. Maybe you're going to be a teacher. Maybe you're going to be a politician that secures the right kind of conditions so people can raise their families in comfort and dignity.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
Maybe you're going to be an artist who creates an artistic legacy that's going to enrich our lives and that we can hand down to future generations. Maybe you're going to be an amazing interviewer and you're going to help people think through the way they want to shape their own lives and the lives of others.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
So there are a lot of ways, I think, of contributing to that robust, flourishing, better human future. I don't think having children is the only way. I don't think having children is the best way. It is fundamental if we want to have... an artistic intellectual legacy to give to the future generations, we probably need future generations.
It's Been a Minute
Why pop stars aren't having kids (and why you might not either)
But it's something that people don't necessarily always know how to think about in ways that can help them reach a place where they can be happy with whatever they decide.