Anderson Cooper

I had this whole idea for a memorial service for her because I wanted it to be really like at the Cafe Carlisle where we used to go and listen to Bobby Short sing.

And I imagined it opening up with like...

somebody dressed in one of her Fortuny gowns dancing under a spotlight with either another woman in a Fortuny gown looked like her as well, or some guy who's masked or something.

I just want it to be this really unusual, interesting, beautiful, strange thing, which is what she was to me.

I worried I could never produce this thing in a way that would really do justice to her, and the task of it just started to feel overwhelming, and then I just never got around to it.

Is grief different than you thought it would be?

I think untethered is a really interesting word, and I use the word unmoored a lot.

Like, I used to feel unmoored.

Living in the city that I grew up in, I find it very hard to be, like, the last from my little family because it all felt so real, and I don't know if all that stuff happened, but I'm the only one who remembers it.

Is there something you've learned in grief that you think would be helpful for others?

By the way, you looked up when you were talking to your mom.

Is she?

There's nothing wrong with that.

Nothing wrong with a little positivity.

It doesn't have to be toxic.

Like a little altar?

They're teenagers.

The fact that you have that, they will come to at some point.

It was lovely to talk to you.

Thank you.