Andrea Gibson

I said, anyone who thinks poetry is frivolous has never had to have someone tell them something unspeakably hard, beautifully.

But right now, we're a little floaty.

And she more than me,

And grieving and also keeping our hearts open to miracles.

And also, you know, I wrote this thing, I wrote this thing on our wall downstairs that said, no regrets.

Like if I have a short time to live, I'm not about to spend that time dying.

I'm going to spend it living.

It used to mean something very different to me.

It used to mean just going out and doing everything and seeing everyone and having every conversation.

But for me, it means opening my heart to gratitude, opening my heart to love and mostly being present.

Like for right now, you know, I'm sitting here, nothing in my body feels bad.

Like if somebody told me I had cancer, I'd say, no, no way.

Nothing in my body feels bad.

And so that is life like that right now in this little second, this is my entire lifespan in this moment.

And I can fill it with worry thoughts.

I can fill it with just stories about what's unfair.

I refuse to do that to my life.

I refuse to spend the end of my life, no matter how much time it is, whether it's two months or it's 20 years, I refuse to spend it not loving my life.

And that doesn't mean not feeling.

My therapist taught me years ago that