Andrew Hawkins

That is a great sketch. I can sing Chronicles of Narnia word for word, bro.

Narnia, shit is happenin'. Das ganze Ding. Das ist in den letzten 25 Jahren. Das ist in den letzten 25 Jahren, Bro.

Ich bin mit dir.

Good shout. American whites, man. You're so right about that. It's tough. Cooper Flag coming up. Das ist das, wofür sie es machen.

Are you kidding me, man? Captain Stubing.

Du musst nicht warten, um es live zu bekommen.

You understand what I'm saying? Times change. America longs for that time. You're over here trying to make America great again. I'm just trying to make Saturdays great again.

I'm on a boat.

Subban's top 50 best-looking black men in America.

I got a number one, too. Oh, number one.

Asinine. This is disrespectful. So they clip it off and you can get on Saturday Night Live, star in a Spike Lee movie. Offensive to me. Offensive that you would have a top ten list of best looking brothers and it would be your family.

My Aunt Charlene has the same top five. She's 66. You are so right.

I knew it. That's where it was. When I cut my hair low.

I got to be up there. I am, but, you know, don't be mad because I'm padding the stats. No, but it's cheating. It is cheating. It is how I talk.

Yeah, that is a part of the sport and there is like layers to the shit talk because there's like the situations, kind of like what Mike is talking about. I've been in the league and I've been shit talking someone who is clearly superior to my playing ability. And I'm like, man, I cannot wait for this game to get over because I'm writing checks that my ass can't cash. And so...

You're like, you go through this game and you're being dominated and you're trying and you're like, God, I just want to get out of here. And then there is the version where you're like, I got to get this person out of the game, out of their game and focused on something else. You tried this with James Harrison, didn't you? Yeah, I did it because it was just fun. It was like...

James Harrison focusing on trying to kill me and not focusing on getting the quarterback was like, A, it helps my team, but also it's like playing a little bit of a game of chicken. It's like, man, am I going to make it out of this game without dying? I didn't, that game specifically. I went to the hospital. But the whole thrill of being like, man, I wonder if I can do this and get away with it.

It did, man. When you came to? When I came to, I'm like... What is that? Oh, did we have a party? Yes, we did.

Hardest I've ever taken some shit talking was from the crowd. High school basketball game. And my brother was playing for the Bengals at the time, and they were not very good. And they started chanting a bunch of stuff about my brother. Like, I'm okay if you shit talk me. But that got under my skin so bad. I played horribly.

And then after the game, I tried to go up in the student section and fight. And, yeah, it was like one of those. That was the one time where I wish I could. Penn Cambria was the name of the high school. They got me good, Penn Cambria. But this war isn't over.

Goodness gracious.

I was going to say, you guys are doing pretty good at shit talking to me.

Give me another word. The Vortex is like the Nerf one with the tail on it.

It was kind of only for the long ball competition because when you tried to play actual backyard football with it, it became tough. Dude, you could throw bullets with that thing. But it was hard to aim because it was like your perception of where you were throwing. It would go like 10 yards further. You need some touch precision, Dan. Maybe that was it.

Maybe that was my first inkling that I wasn't a quarterback.

The vortex competition would be epic.

They hurt tremendously.

Yeah. I don't love being in pain. I miss being in pain. There's a difference.

It makes me feel like I put the work in. But you chose your kids.

You could have had a Super Bowl, and then they could have went to the NFL because you were absent. You're ruining the cycle of our football. This is why American whites are dominating. There's not enough fatherless kids, Hawk.

Yeah, no, it hurts. It hurts, man. My ankles hurt. I walk down the steps like I'm 60 in the morning. It takes me at least 30 minutes to not limp around throughout the day. I have bone spurs in both of my ankles so they don't bend the way they need to.

So it's literally just me picking my feet up and just going like this with no, what is it, torque, really, for a little bit until they get warmed up. It's harder to work out. I should probably start taking anti-inflammatories to make myself feel a little better. My shoulders hurt. I can't lay with my arms up for a certain amount of time. All those things. It just sounds like you're getting old.

I gotta be honest. I think this is just age. But I'm 38. Is that supposed to be?

I think, if anything, it's delayed pain. No, it hurts still. I mean, I just I'm still an elite athlete. I think if we had a competition, I would still win all the competitions. And this is my shit talk amongst us. You're saying it's my defense mechanism. You don't want any smoke with me, Billy. All right. I still run the 100 meter dash in at least 11 seconds.

Dude, I love it.

You'd beat him in pole vaulting. I'm old and slow now. I think that there is so much content on this show that goes malnourished. Tell me about it. That is a superhero plot right there. That in order for his superpowers to kick in, he has to taste blood. Dan's still talking his shit, huh? So he has to get punched in the face. Something has to happen to make you taste his own blood.

So that he turns into the fish man. I would love to see pole vaulting between you and Billy.

Pole vaulting is always dangerous. You would take him, though, right? In pole vaulting? You think you would take him, right? That seems so dangerous to me. I am more fearful of pole vaulting and NASCAR than football.

And then he says he doesn't talk shit. That's the funny part. Not that he does it, is that he thinks his style, because his style is different. I would have never said that.

People talk shit. What? I'm a Brett Favre in this manipulated machine.

There are so many other dynamics going on that would have made it hard, Stu. I know. I understand.

No. Well, have you, Hawk? Very valid. I have nothing for that.

Have a baby. Have you had kidney stones? No kidney stones. Oh, you're soft.

I did get hit by a car when I was 12, though. Okay, you win. Wait, how fast is it going? It was going pretty good. I flew into an intersection on my bike, but I wasn't supposed to be gone from the house. And so I got hit, and I flew about probably 25 feet in front of another car. girl my age, once she see I was okay, she started laughing.

And the lady was like, oh my gosh, she stops the car, she's like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine, I just gotta get home, because I wasn't supposed to be gone on my bike. And I was so scared that I was gonna get in trouble for being gone, I just went home.

The adrenaline was going because getting hit by a car seemed to be the path of least resistance between getting in trouble by my folks for leaving the house when I wasn't supposed to.

I broke my back in a game when I was in college. You know what? It helped me in football because after getting so much pain, I then wasn't scared of any of it. Really? Yeah. It got to a point where I was like, you've had everything. You've broken your back. And it was like, all right, whatever happens, happens at that point. You were numb to pain.

Yeah. Don't worry for me. I'll be all right, man. You got out early.

I agree. It was worth it. At this stage of my life, I will say it was worth it.

Just slapped you off the line and ran right past you. I'm here. I would not be here if that was not the case. I'm talking to Dan Leberton.

We know. I remember 20 years ago watching this show like, man, if only I could make it on that show. You made it, kid. You made it. I made it.

This is where I thought Stu Gatz was going with Googling that. I thought it was going to be a Travis Hunter comp, which I'm like, hey, that's not bad. That's not bad comp. That's pretty good for Stu. But then it was not.

Yeah, insoles is worse. To play with no insoles in your, now look, this is the 1980s. So I don't know what insoles were like then, right? It could have very well been a thin piece of paper, right? Because they weren't exactly modernizing the technology of cleats at the time. But for me, it would be harder for me to play without insoles than it would be to play without socks.

And my feet hurt so much constantly. All day. My feet hurt all the time. I have a bunion. That is the size of a damn ping pong ball.

Give me a number, man. Is he driving a white van outside? No, no.

Because I wouldn't want it from Dan's guy.

They're like, their feet hurt. Usually, the bigger the people, the more their feet hurt. So they probably have a passion for fixing people's feet. Feet doctors are weird, though, right? I've never been to one, clearly.

Oh, really? I had ankle surgery. I don't know if it was a podiatrist. It was another... I mean, they just explained that.

She was saying that the podiatrist does do ankles, and I was saying mine did not. Mine was not a podiatrist who did my ankles.

What are you talking about? I like how he's getting out in front of this story. That's smart of him. I like what he just did there. He gets out in front of the photos that are clearly going to drop.

Like the next level of athletic footwear. But that's why I'm a little bit more forgiving of players at that era and the way that they look when they move. because I'm like, they're wearing church shoes. They're wearing like cardboard strapped to their feet. Exactly. They've tied up construction paper On their feet, and they're asked to look as athletic as the guys do now.

Yes, and their shorts are way too high for them to maneuver at the speed that they'll need to.

There's no way that's comfortable. There's no way that they put that uniform together and said, you know what? Now this is built for speed. You could dance in it, though.

I hate to be the devil's advocate on something that makes me look awesome. So let me let me preface this by that. But yes, it is a scary thing. But I'm also weirdly wired to love that kind of stuff. I am the kind of person that believes football players are born, they're not made. And for me, that's where the confidence that I could play amongst those giants and be in that world came from.

Not because I thought I was awesome. It's because it's all I wanted to do. And I miss, I'm not kidding, I miss being sore on Mondays and Tuesdays. I miss the feeling of being like, yo, I cannot even walk right now because I just left it all out on the field. I miss physical contact.

That's a weird thing to say, but I truly, like when I play basketball every, what, once every 14 months, and I'm playing and I'm trying to be a normal civilian, and then someone will get super aggressive with me and be like, oh, you're a little guy, let me bump you. And it turns me on so much. Like I get chills and I'm like, oh, you just gave me the green light.

I'm going to run into you at full speed, and I don't care anything about what happens to my body. So it is a little bit like where that's just naturally who I am as a person as well.

Also football.

No, for sure. For sure. I mean, you have a particular set of skills that help protect you. But also, it's like when I was a kid and I had nothing. I would always like how I would convince myself to do something would be like, would you do this for a million dollars? We all play that game. And so like when I would be going through it, I'd be like, hey, this is for a million dollars.

And I would do this weird thing where I trick my mind into believing that eventually I would be paid a million dollars for running through the stampede unprotected.

Not great shit-talk.

That's what I like is an adjustment because you miss that. The cool part about shit talking is that we get to resolve it immediately. So when Jeff Teague is going to shit talk LeBron, LeBron is going to dominate him. And then for 20 years, Jeff could be like, yeah. I was wrong there, he was pretty good.

And I have those stories too, but it's like we get to go out on the field and see exactly what the result can be, and that's the cool part. Whereas in the workplace, that's where the frustration comes in because it's all subjective.

Let's go. This is awesome. I'm shaking my head, but I completely disagree because that is lunatic behavior.

Why are you tasting blood so much? I think that's more the concern.

Nein, und ich sage nicht, dass ich mit den Browns oder den Bengals zusammen war. Du hast 53 Leute. Ja, alle Motivationen werden anders sein. Meine Motivation war, ein Spiel zu spielen. Aber ich bin auch ein Maniac, wenn es um die Erwartungen geht. Also habe ich jeden Tag wie es ein Spiel war, weil ich Angst hatte, dass ich getrennt werde. Das ist nicht lustig.

Es ist nicht lustig, zu fühlen, dass wenn man einen Fehler macht, Du wirst deine Familie nicht ernähren können. Und mein Standard, auch wenn es nur ein Spiel war, war mein Ziel. Mein Standard hat sich nie verändert. Ob ich mit den Browns, Patriots, Bengals oder was auch immer war.

Und es gibt andere Leute, von denen ich nicht denke, dass es verrückt ist, Leute zu denken, die in der Poverty geboren sind. Ja, einige Leute wollen einfach nicht mehr in der Poverty sein. Es kommt darauf an, ob du den 1% oder die Genetik-Lotterie gewonnen hast. Eine große Mehrheit der Jungs in der NFL sind nicht arbeitsethisch. Es ist nicht so, wie du es ansprichst.

Du hast die Genetik-Lotterie gewonnen. Und weil du 6'6 und ein 4'4 mit einem 42-Inch-Vertical-Leap fährst, Jeder versteht, selbst wenn du nicht motiviert und hart arbeitest, bist du immer noch besser als der 5'7-Jährige aus Toledo. Wir geben dir immer noch einen Schuss. Wir haben eine bessere Chance, mit dir zu gewinnen, als mit diesem Jungen.

Es ist also keine Überraschung, dass es viel Glück gibt, einen Lockerraum zu bauen, der den richtigen Mischung der Jungs hat, der die richtige Mentalität hat, der den richtigen Mischung der Genetik hat, und auch als Quarterback, der sich mit dem, wo du bist, in dieser Zeit verbindet. Die meisten Champions-League-Dynastien und Teams haben das vor sich.

Yeah, there it is. He's right. That's not wrong. And it took me a while to verbalize that in sports. That's a thing for me, especially in front of Stu Gotts. When I said that, Confetti fell from the ceiling. I don't even know how the hell he had it on cue. But sure enough, as soon as I said it, just... Feuerwerke. Willst du das vorlesen? Es scheint offensichtlich.

I feel like we're glossing over how good of a dancer Matt Kugler was in that clip.

Das ist nicht sein erstes Rodeo, das ist in den Augen. Wahrscheinlich hat er viele Minuten und Zeiten gebraucht, um die Schulter-Symmetrie auf den Beat zu bekommen. Ich kann die Musik nicht hören, aber ich kann es in meinem Kopf hören, weil ich sie sehe.

Ich weiß, wie Kluger sich jetzt befindet. Ich kann es sehen. Er will die Musik aufmachen und mich als den Zentrum der Aufmerksamkeit sehen.

Es scheint offensichtlich, weil es so ist. Und ich habe es schon lange negiert. Aber Mac McClung, der drei-malige NBA-Allstar-Slam-Dunk-Champion, war eine Sache. Als er zuerst über Dinge rückte, dachte ich mir, das wird ausfallen. Jemand wird es irgendwann fangen lassen.

Das war vor Jahren. Und ich erinnere mich an die erste Ausstellung, die ich an diesem Show gemacht habe. Ich habe alle zu einem Mann namens Riley Moss eingeladen, der damals ein Cornerback für Iowa war. Und ich habe gesagt, hey, aufhören, weiße Cornerbacks kommen. Und alle waren so, was sagst du? Und ich habe sie gesehen spielen gegen meinen Bruder. Und fast forward, hier sind wir.

Nummer eins. Wie kriegst du das Geld für diese Firma? Das ist wichtig. Ich bin hier jeden Morgen zwei Stunden lang. Und auch Nummer zwei. Warum hat sich das nicht gut gemacht? Und ich schreibe Noten für jedes Video. Also...

Okay, hoffentlich habt ihr Sicherheit, aber wir sprechen später.

Wir haben Cooper Dejean, wir haben Riley Moss. Du hast Cooper, du hast Riley, du hast nie Riley Cooper. Lass mich dir das klar machen. Riley ist gut, Cooper ist gut. Kein Riley Cooper. Offensichtlich die Kaitlyn Clark, die Women's Basketball übernimmt. Cooper Cup. Cooper ist wie Cooper Flagg. Es gibt viele Coopers. Cooper ist wie der weiße Jalen jetzt. Es ist wirklich das Jahr des Coopers.

First off, this is the most I've ever watched any coverage of the Daytona 500, I'll be honest. You haven't seen a car yet.

Ja, genau.

I just feel like we should have opened with these videos, with this conversation. This has been my favorite part of the show, I'll be honest with you.

Erinnerst du dich, wie groß der Deal war? Ja, das war ein riesiger Deal damals. Aber wiederum, du kannst Raleigh gehen, du kannst Cooper gehen, du kannst nicht Raleigh-Cooper gehen. Das ist die Regel. Also ja, wenn ich dir hätte gesagt, okay, kommende Saison wird ein NFL-Receiver sein,

Okay.

... der in den Schuss geschossen wird und dann am nächsten Tag spielt, weil er versucht hat, für seine Kante zu werden. Du hättest nicht gedacht, dass ein weißer Typ, Mike, das nicht sein würde. Ein tausend Werte. Ein tausend Werte. Es hat ein paar Wochen gedauert. Du hättest nicht da sein können, aber es ist eine Evolution. Es ist eine Evolution im amerikanischen Sport.

Na, die sind nicht gestohlen, also das ist der Unterschied.

No. The specificity of the van is what's throwing me off. You gotta have a lot of room for the electronic equipment.

War es vorher oder später, als er dich mit Demi Lovato verheiratet hat? Oh, das war vorher. Er wusste nicht, dass ich ein Lovato-Bro war.

This is a trick.

It's easy to see why Billy has his own day. Because this is not only... I heard that you were shitting on that.

I was not poo-pooing the situation. I was not.

Nein, sie haben meinen Tag verurteilt, weil ich keinen offiziellen Seel auf der Begründung hatte. Aber ich hatte einen Seel. Und dann haben sie ein Bild von dem Musiker-Seel gemacht, weil er schwarz war.

Das war die ganze Sache, Billy.

Ich möchte nur wissen, nicht nur bin ich stolz auf deinen Tag. Danke. Ich bin stolz auf deinen Tag. Das waren die fünf besten Content-Klips, die dieses Show zu bieten hat. Wow. Okay? Und der Grund, warum, ich habe einige Noten gegeben. Nummer eins, sie könnten das Ganze bei etwa 61% reduzieren.

Das war ein bisschen lang. Zweitens, sie könnten es direkt zum Interview des Mannes machen, wenn du sagst, bist du gespannt, Pippel zu sehen? Er sagt, ja, das ist großartiges Content. Nr. 3 war eine Art Eröffnung, die alle Videos führen sollte, weil noch niemand in den Ständen ist, also gibt es ein bisschen eine Bildung.

Oh, es ist eine elektrische Eröffnung. Ich bin eingeladen. Nr. 4, wir könnten es direkt zum Kugs-Dancen machen. Auf dem Konzert. Jedes Mal, wenn er tanzt, musst du ihn da reinlegen. Ich sage dir, du musst mich auf das glauben. Ich kenne den Content. Ich bin nicht nur ein Typ. Und dann Nummer 5. Das sind Kofferhosen, übrigens.

Ich möchte, dass du das Netzwerk am Ende dieses Videos schaust. Lass es sich in den Netz legen. Es wird hier ausgeschnitten. Aber das war das. Das da war, wo ich dachte, oh nein, das ist... This isn't a fluke. He's a confident dancer. You can see it. You can't hide that.

Das Gator-Team ist lustig, weil das sein Teil der Equation ist. Von all den verschiedenen Gators-Spielern, die sich in die Probleme gestellt haben, war sein Teil das Endwort an der Kenny Chesney Party. All right, let's get started.

Yeah, it was four plays, but you can't deny he left his Achilles on the field for that franchise. I thought you were talking about Brett. He left it out there.

We were still talking about Brett Favre. Don't put that back up there.

I'm answering it seriously. Popularity? No. The Jets have never been a part of the national conversation as often as they were in their franchise history. Yeah, but for the wrong reasons. That at least goes to the bottom line, though.

Was ist mit Hoffnung? Hoffnung bedeutet nichts für dich. Du hattest so viel Hoffnung. Ich habe Hoffnung jeden August. Du wachst heute, du wachst in diesen Morgen, fühlst dich, als hättest du eine Chance. Das eine Morgen, ja.

Das ist nicht falsch. Das ist nicht eine falsche Ausgabe. Und vielleicht bin ich ein bisschen verabschiedet, weil die Browns mir ein wunderschönes Dankeschön gegeben haben, als ich nach vielen Spielen verloren habe. Aber du, ich meine, du sprichst über das Liebe, das sie mit mir ausgesprochen haben, nachdem ich von dieser Organisation weggegangen bin.

Und ich bin kein Aaron Rodgers, also bin ich so, weißt du.

Es war nur das eine Jahr, Jessica. Nein, ich habe nie das Trainingcamp verpasst. Nein, ich war sicher ein Show-Up-Typ. Wenn man unter 5'8 ist, muss man für alles zeigen.

Und sie haben mir auch ein schönes Goodbye gegeben, als ich ihre Organisation verlassen habe.

Okay, also vielleicht bin ich ein bisschen mehr Aaron Rodgers, als es auf der Oberfläche aussieht. Okay, das spielt zu meinem Punkt. Es ist okay, ihm zu danken, dass er gekommen ist. Weil er musste viele Meilen bewegen, um in die Jets zu gehen. Er hatte andere Orte, wo er damals gehen könnte. Das war der Ort, den er entschieden hat. Es hat nicht funktioniert.

Es ist okay, amicably zu verbrechen und zu sagen, hey, keine schwierigen Gefühle. Danke für die Zeiten, die wir hatten, Stugatz. Ich kann schwierige Gefühle haben. Ich kann. Okay. Okay.

Ich fühlte mich so schnell wie je in meinem Leben in der Off-Saison mit den New England Patriots. Und es war nicht der Arbeit, weil alle sagten, oh, du kommst da und es ist hart. Ich bin nicht Angst vor Arbeit. Ich bin eigentlich ein Arbeitgeber. Also wenn ich mit Crack verdammt bin, dann wirst du mich nicht mit Crack erschrecken. Es ist eine gute Sache. In der Mitte meines Arbeitsbedürfnisses.

Das Problem war, dass es schmerzhaft war. Und es war schmerzhaft für viele Dinge. Und es war wie, Mann, das fühlt sich nicht so gut an, was ich tun möchte. Mein Knie schmerzte und ich war vier Wochen im Off-Season geschlossen. Und so als ich da war, war es wie Tag zwei, kein B.S. Ich war wie, oh ja, das wird nicht für mich funktionieren. There was no light in the building?

Ich liebe Steve Smith. Ich bin ein großer Fan von Steve Smith. Nicht ein Typ, der sich verpissen möchte. In der alten Zeit. Er ist ein sehr maturen Typ jetzt. Aber in seinem Heimtag. Ja, er hat den Eishockey-Teammate verpasst.

Ja, ich denke nicht, dass es eine Linie gibt. Und ich denke, das ist der ganze Punkt. Ich weiß nicht, ob die Chiefs, die ja nur die Superbowl in einer riesigen Form verloren haben, aber du sprichst über Erfolg in einer Dynastie. Sie tun es nicht in der gleichen Weise, wie die Neuen Patriots es tun. Das bedeutet nicht, dass, weil sie Spaß haben und sie haben...

bessere Marketingagenten, dass sie nicht immer noch eine Dynastie und eine Kultur der Gewinnung sind, richtig?

Und ich denke, für mich, auch wenn es um New England geht, und ich sage, dass es für mich mühsam war, weil ich 31 Jahre alt war, ich hatte drei Kinder, ich habe professionales Fußball gespielt, bei dem Zeitpunkt, für zehn Jahre, um diesen Traum zu fangen, was mich von einem, der auf jemanden's Couch lebt, zu der Arbeit in der Fabrik, zu all diesen verrückten Dingen.

Und mein Ziel, und ich sage das nicht zu viel, war es, nur ein Spiel zu spielen. Also nein, ich kam nicht in die Liga, weil ich ein Pro Bowler sein wollte. Ich hatte keine Vorstellung, dass ich einen zweiten Vertrag bekommen werde. Ich hatte nichts. Ein Spiel war alles, was ich wollte. Also bin ich 31 Jahre alt, und ich gehe in eine Halle für 20 Yards. Ich und nur ein Trainer.

Und wenn wir näher zusammen sind, und ich bin neu, und wir sind neben einander, sage ich, hey, was geht, Coach? Und sie schauen auf dich und gehen weiter. Und ich sage, okay, ja, ich kann das nicht an dieser Zeit. Vielleicht um 25, als ich unglaublich hungrig war und nur versucht habe, mich selbst zu zeigen.

Ich habe meine Gefühle nicht verletzt. Es war so, dass ich nicht wollte, dass es so war. Hey, hey, Mutter. Ich habe gesagt, was geht, du hast mich nicht gehört. Richtig. Don't do that. I didn't want to go there because I'm new here. And because that's how I feel now because I have children that I would rather be at home with at this time. That's why it was the wrong time for me.

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You were teammates with Ray Lewis. You know.

I actually have a question. Can we hit pause on that? You guys played each other. Did we? In the league. I don't know. We're asking. You were in the same division. We were, but it's like. I know you were inside and Dominique was on the outside.

You don't think there was ever a time where you guys shared a football field? That's interesting, considering how much time you spent in the division. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know.

I asked ChatGPT if Dominique Foxworth and Andrew Hawkins ever played a game against one another in the NFL. The answer was no. Because Dominique played corner in the NFL from 2005 to 2011.

before retiring due to injuries hawkins entered the league in 2011 while their careers briefly overlapped in 2011 dominique was dealing with injuries and only played two games that season before retiring so they never face each other in an actual nfl game there's the answer chat gbt finally gets one right

There is one way that we can fire it back up. Oh. I finally get the answer. Tony will be quarterback. There won't be an actual ball. I feel good about it. Just all footwork, baby.

Just an edge zone fade. Yep.

You did it while you were small.

It was you, right?

Throughout the history of American politics, it's often how you say things. What's the best compliment you ever received from an opponent?

He's the greatest receiver of all time. My bad, brother. You won one football game in two seasons.

He wasn't there for that. Unless you think this show's the only example of getting worse show over show. Cleveland Browns followed up a one-win season with a zero-win season.

Hawk, what's the best compliment you receive from an opponent?

Did it come from a handsome dude?

But you left there feeling good about yourself?

the best part about it was there was an intermission interview they were playing the ducks and one of the ducks players were like you guys got a slow start yeah the bongo anthem really threw us off a little bit

I'm going to read it out loud for you.

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I say you do it in Canada, turn the crowd. Turn the crowd. Because they're going to be booing you either way. I like that. So maybe if you do something different with it, they're like, wait, at first I wanted to boo this guy. But his ambition.

You say glare. Yeah.

Look at me now, version. Come on.

There's four Beatles movies.

They each get one? Yeah. Each member of the Beatles, they're all going to be directed by Sam Mendes, accomplished director. Accomplished director, did American Beauty. They're going to have, it's basically the Beatleverse. And four movies are going to all come out in April of 2028. Okay. It's being touted as the first ever bingeable theater experience.

They're all going to be in each other's movies, but the focus will be on Paul's movie on Paul and so on and so forth. Got to start with Ringo. Ringo is played by Barry Keegan, who's long since been rumored to it, to be attached to this project. This has been something that's been talked about for several years now in Hollywood.

Sam Mendes taking on the Beatles, but doing an individual movie for each member. They finally announced the full cast today in the release of 2028. Now, I don't know if it's all coming out the very same release date. It would make sense to stagger them a little bit. But all four movies are going to come out the same month. That is a plan right now. This is very ambitious filmmaking.

It's a very Netflix-y streamer type of idea. We've never really tried this in the theaters, but I kind of like that the theaters are trying to hop aboard the ambition train. And Sam Mendes doesn't really make streaming films. This is a big-time, cinematic, very accomplished director. It's the Beatles. They're literally the biggest thing ever. When it comes to music.

I don't know if it's going to focus on the same time period. Chris is reading the article right now. I don't know if it's going to time hop a little bit. I mean, it's the Beatles. They went through, famously, several different eras. But their stories are going to very clearly be intertwined.

That was my experience with it.

But from a filmmaking perspective, I don't know how they're going to go about shooting this. It seems like a nightmare to edit because like, well, we're in this... We built this set for the Ringo part, but this is a big part of John, so I assume they're going to have their own perspective of the very same scene. It's a very ambitious project to take off.

Put that in your bio.

Yeah, Ringo's very clearly the fourth. And probably won't make for the most interesting movie.

um and you know people have taken shots at his musical ability and whatnot but the george one will be interesting see what ringo's like michael from boys to men well if i gave a comp you know like he was the one no longer surprised at your whiteness thank you i was just trying to i'm bilingual in that way i was looking i was looking for a sports comp but that's a good that's a good non-sports well it's hard because like the

It would have to be, I'm trying to get sports comps from the same era.

But it only feels that way because he's been around. You know, like in your life, John would probably be the more famous of the two. Most talented. Really? If he were around still, he'd probably be the most revered. I don't know.

George had a great single career. Yeah.

I don't think anybody's asking what could have been. His legacy was kind of cemented. It's just like if he were still around right now, he'd be ultra revered.

People think John Lennon is the best.

One A, one B. I wish your dad were here to get his perspective because he was around when it was going on. He was.

Would I rather be assassinated?

Legacy-wise. But he wouldn't be as served. Paul has a great legacy. But his legacy is great.

Ringo might take it. Now I like this for a sake topic. That's something to chew on, my friend.

Because this whole thing is he's the disrespected Beatle. I'm sure that act has worn thin on him a little bit.

George was around a little bit longer.

Do you think they're going to have arguments and it'll be portrayed in one way from John's perspective? It'll be great. And it'll be a totally different... different experience from the whole?

What?

Show it to me. Well, we don't really have a video per se.

Oh, you got an uncle name going to start with A? He just makes stuff up, man. Like, he literally just, yeah, he could do this back in my day. Like, Rick. You're lying, bro.

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I like the accountability.

Like, I'm shocked that you were... Hang on. Billy was a collegiate track star. Right, I know. So I want... It sounds like he was on the track team. It sounds like he played many events on the track team.

Indeed. I guess it's one thing to say that he took accountability, which he did. But he took accountability for Deshaun Watson not being good. That's essentially what he's apologizing for. To me, when I quit the Browns, I didn't give a shit if he was going to be good or bad. I was hopeful he'd be bad because I didn't like him as a person. You acquired a garbage human being.

That's what I want an apology for. Not because it didn't work out for you.

We should really have popped down in who it was. Yes, undefeated producer Tony. That was our Tony.

That's how you erase it. That's how you get me back. There's only one way. Well, there's two ways. You can try to find a way to get Baker Mayfield back. That'd be great. I love Baker. Roof of the Bucks. I'm a big Baker guy. We all know wrong decision was made there. But Cam Ward is the other way to fix it. Cam Ward, because of the Miami ties, I love Cam Ward.

Does he? Yeah, he's a good basketball player. With a hand in his face. I mean, he's not a pro by any stretch of the imagination.

Tony's the best basketball player here by a wide margin. I know that that's not a great brag.

And, yeah, that'd be a great elixir for what's ailing me right now. And I'm likely to support wherever –

Cam Ward goes to because I'm that big of a fan of his and I'm going to be rooting for him regardless of even if he's a Baltimore Raven or Pittsburgh Steeler I throw my support behind Cam Ward so I know that the Browns fans have been through a lot and I think Browns fans even though some of them supported Deshaun Watson do deserve someone like Cam Ward and I lived it I've seen Cam Ward turn a program's fortunes around I think he's an incredible player I think Tennessee's kind of figuring that out though

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

The tequila that invented tequila. Proximo. Cuervo.com. Please drink responsibly.

Cam Ward, I'll probably surprise you with the take. Cam Ward is a flawed prospect. He's not perfect. If you go through his best games, he'll do things in the best games that will positively make you mad. He's the type of guy that a GM will fall in love with, but also the type of guy that might get a GM fired. And I think, look, Cam Ward had a special season. last year.

And yeah, I think he's going to be a great pro. But also, if this edition of Cam Ward was in last year's draft, he's probably maybe the fourth quarterback taken off the board. You can even argue fifth, considering how Bo Nix finished last season. I think it says more about the current state of the draft class that Cam Ward is being talked about.

And because he's going to be number one or talked about as the number one pick, then of course the comparisons to Patrick Mahomes are going there. But if he's Talked about his fifth quarterback off the board. You're not hearing those comps.

It is funny, though, the discussion around Cam Ward because it would relatively be... Look, we're not talking about Shador as much because he's consensus second quarterback being taken off. And I reached out to someone in NFL scouting and I asked him, like... How do you think the draft would go if this year's Cam Ward was plopped in the last year?

He said, Caleb still goes number one, even though he was betrayed by a coaching staff. The upside is still there. Then you go Daniels, and this particular person said Cam Ward's three, and I found that surprising ahead of the likes of Drake May and Bo Nix. I understand over Bo Nix, but Drake May, I feel like in terms of measurables, in terms of like...

what an NFL front office feels safer with because Cam Ward is risky because of the footwork, because of his ability to kind of freestyle a little bit and hold the ball a little bit longer to make things happen. I think Drake May would be a safer pick, but this guy had Cam Ward in round three.

I'm not going to reveal my sources. What is this guy doing, Mike? What is he doing? This is a high-ranking scout in the NFL.

What's interesting is we did this exercise with Cam. Where would this year's Cam be drafted in last year's class? It's real scary for Shador if you take this year's Shador and you drop him in last year's class. That's a guy that's being talked about going third overall. That's probably not a first-round talent with last year's class.

That's what'll get them.

He did look like Big X, but he also played college football. Yeah, did he? Yeah, he did.

I think he went to a D2 school, D3 school.

Him an eagle.

Uh-oh. Turnover, turnover, turnover. To back guess.

That was crazy talk, man. I still don't think, I don't understand where that ref I'm pissed about that.

I think the refs should have names on the back of their jerseys, and they should get on the podium after the game and go through the game tape like we had to do today. There's no accountability for you just to say, hey.

I'm all of a sudden the touchdown czar, and I'm just going to decide you get a touchdown and you get a pick over there because I like the way that you've been paying attention this game. No, that's not how this works.

We didn't take a timeout. We didn't regroup. We didn't huddle up. Nothing. It was... If you can't stop... the opposition from scoring, take the time out, coach. That is like coaching 101. You don't just let it continue.

I get what he's saying.

His explanation is tough. I know exactly what you mean. Everyone gets it.

And then the defense gets their team ready for the... Because the real fear is that you can't commit too much to the tush push because they'll throw it deep. But if you want to do the tush push, you declare, you get your tush push team ready, we get our tush push team ready, and we just...

Yeah, and it's like, yo, tush-push team. It becomes a special team. We're going to make it look less like football.

Coming under center for one play. That's really what it is. It's special teams. That's where we're missing it. We just cracked the code. It's a special teams play that doesn't fit within the other course of plays, much like all the other special teams plays.

What am I saying? You're trying to agree with Mike.

Because here's my thing really quick. I've been flip-flopping back and forth arguing both sides of the take. Nobody's noticed. No, no, no. What you're doing. I forgot which take I was arguing for in that moment. I know you said that I was really right with something.

Yeah, I don't like that portion, but I do like the idea to even the playing field because there's no way you can stop the tush push in a way where it seems fair for both sides. And the argument Mike was making... That, well, he was saying it in jest, but in sarcasm. But it's true. All the rules do benefit the offense, so now you give them another one. When is the last defensive rule that passed?

Well, that plays into this as well because in the tush push, if I'm on the D-line, can I just dive at the offensive line's legs? You can. Okay, so they didn't take that away. All right, well, I got nothing for you, Nick.

Could you beat his ass, though? Could you beat his ass? That was good. It got nuts, man. Could you beat up Tiger Woods? It got crazy. It got crazy for a second, Bill.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I never thought about it until he said that. I never questioned why Mike is the only one who ever stands until Keenan Thompson said it.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I want it on air. Mike was definitely an old, like a 90s five. Not like a today's, not like a Jokic. And Mike was like, you know what, I'm putting it on my shoulder. He brought the ball at the court and pulled from the logo and it went way over the backboard.

No more Laranega talk. Now, look, I will say what they always say. Yes, 24-hour rule, but they also say the tape is never as good as you think, and it's never as bad as you think. And I don't think... the game film was as bad as we thought it to be when we left the game because somebody asked Kenan Thompson that question yesterday, and he answered it somewhere, and it ended up on Variety.com.

So maybe we shouldn't have came out the gate with that play. Yeah, hand up, hand up. But you weren't wrong to see that opportunity in the defense.

Before he said hello. I mean, but I'm – We learned from our mistakes.

Yeah. Which I'm okay with that move with the comedian. It was a decision. It was a choice.

I mean, we all had our down. No, no, no, no.

is some good open criticism of me let's dive into so we good is it all out on the table i did i did say two up two down and i feel like we glossed over that we even forgot about that and i also want to i want to raise my hand with accountability there you go especially as one of the only two blacks in game two to say i i am ashamed of myself i will be better today yeah i mean two black people's not enough we gotta get another black person i i hey carl

Literally, two up, two down. That's what we are today.

I'm just playing devil's advocate here because I don't – I don't feel great about punishing somebody for doing something better than everyone else. Because that is the name of sports. And it does, like we talked about, tie into the legal corked bat situation going on in New York. They're not corked.

Yeah, it'll it'll help us in game two for sure. So look, the tush push. What happens? The only reason why I kind of agree is what happened in the Super Bowl when the rest were like, we're going to give him a touchdown. And that's like a conference championship game.

We're just going to give them six points. Which is, come on, man. We should have made a bigger deal about that as a society. What the hell are we doing? Who gives you the right? Who gave you the authority to award touchdowns for plays that aren't touchdowns in the conference championship game?

See who gets hungry first.

soon enough who loses more in commercials by continuing to keep this play going it was it not the most effective we've ever seen against the tush push it was but it's in that two minutes it's a it's a quarterback sneak like i don't understand like just because it looks a little different than your conventional quarterback sneak we're gonna outlaw it then outlaw the quarterback sneak so and the argument is it doesn't look like football it looks exactly like football to me a little like rugby

Let's go with his own intro music.

He's probably all thighs, actually.

Yes, and so we can just run a jet sweep on his ass every time he's on the field just to say, hey, we took away... It's 10 on 11. Let's go far left. Job finished by Desmond Watson.

Hand up, my bad. It's all right. We can bounce back from that.

What if they just tush push all the way down the field? What if they're averaging three yards a clip and they just say, you know what, we're just going to tush push this entire drive.

So you understand the rules, right? You take this ball, you gotta keep dribbling. What dribbling is, is when you bounce it off the ground with one hand. If you put two, that's a penalty.

Schwertband. Ich glaube, der Jungen hat dich gefragt, ob du 1-on-1 spielen möchtest. Er hat das gemacht. Natürlich.

Warte, warte.

Also hast du dich erwärmt? Der Ball ist das Leben. Der Ball ist das Leben. Ich meine, das ist eine Sache, die wir uns alle erinnern können.

No, that's a good workout. I'm going to be on Dan's side here. That's better than just jogging because that gets boring. Mentally you want to quit. You're like, this is over. You give yourself a little task, a little hoop. It's like I'm building skill as well as getting the run in.

You gotta teach these kids, man. You sound like a prosecutor. Ein kleiner schwarzer Junge. Ein junger Teenager. Er wurde verurteilt für Mord. Das stimmt.

Ich würde, ich habe. Ich werde nicht lügen und sagen, dass ich über das bin. Ich denke, wenn es hart ist, ist es gut. Also habe ich das Druck auf mein Kind, um es zu wissen, hey, es gibt keine einfachen Buckets hier.

Er knackt ihn an die Seite und setzt ihn auf. Er ist ganz nah dran. Er kommt wirklich in sein athletisches Selbst. Letztes Jahr konnte ich ihn in einem Rennen noch gewinnen. Ich habe ihn noch nicht gewonnen dieses Jahr. Es ist auf dem Docket. Aber er ist jetzt in den Elfzehnten. Elfzehnte in den Hundert. Als 13-Jähriger ist das ziemlich schnell.

Zuerst muss ich sagen, dass ich nicht Teil der 1-31-Browns war. Ich war Teil der 1-15-Browns. Das ist die Hälfte. Das war die Hälfte davon. Und muss ich sagen, die gewinnende Hälfte davon. I don't know. I would say thank you for saying that.

Du musst andere Dinge machen. Ich bin okay mit Verlust. Das ist wie ein Rite of Passage. Ich würde sagen, ich bin anders. Und ich will, dass mein Sohn mich schießt. Das wird ein stolzer Moment für mich sein. Wenn mein Sohn mir den Usain Bolt-Glück gibt, als wir über die Schlusslinie crossen. Ich werde so langsam klatschen, traurig. Du bist bereit.

You gotta applaud it.

Oh man.

Die Sauce ist großartig.

Oh, ja. Sie haben neue Saucen. Ich habe nur erwartet, dass es eine unterschiedliche Form von Chicken Nugget sein wird. Das war es nicht. Ich glaube, dass es einfach anders war. Es war wie, oh, okay, McDonald's. Ich sehe, dass du es ein bisschen schäumst. Ich sehe, dass du dich ein bisschen in deine Tasche holen willst. Jemand war im Labor, um etwas Neues für die neue Generation zu kochen.

Vielleicht habe ich den ganzen Tag unter dem Brenner gesessen.

Wow, das ist schlecht. Das ist ein McDonald's. Was für ein McDonald's isst du da? Das ist eine tolle Frage. Das ist eine tolle Frage.

Hakeem Olarjuan? Ja.

Weißt du, wie viel Geld ich in den McDonalds in meinem Leben gedumpft habe?

Ja, natürlich! Alle wissen, dass du da nicht aufhören wirst. Vor allem nach 11 Uhr, nach dem late-night-menu.

Es ist die neue E-Model-Franchise, die sie haben. Man, es tut weh. Aber trotzdem, los geht's.

Ich gebe also Informationen zu unseren Zuhörern. Wenn du die McChicken-Crispy-Chippity-Tipps probierst, dann geh nicht.

I'm giving my honest opinion. Und für diejenigen, die meinen Meinung vertrauen, als McDonalds-Experte, die viel zu viele Nudeln, Double-Cheeseburgers und Triple-Cheeseburgers verwendet haben. Sie wissen wahrscheinlich, dass sie einen Triple-Cheeseburger hatten, oder? Oh, ich habe einen. Natürlich.

Ich sage dir, du kannst einer McDonalds-Konnoisseur vertrauen, dass die McCrispy-Chicken-Strips bei McDonalds lecker sind. Nimm damit, was du willst. Mike hat seine Meinung. Ich versuche ihn zu verstehen. Probier es an einer anderen Stelle, die du ausgesucht hast.

Es ist eine schlechte Stelle.

Warum ist das so lustig? Und es ist der literale Name, aber nur der Gedächtnis, dass es ein echter Jello ist. Spelt man anders. Taco Fall. Gut.

Kannst du mir erklären, wo wir in den NHL-Playoffs sind?

You should have led with that.

It's like rallies and checkers situation. Yeah.

Excellence is a little hockey.

Danke dir für das. Jetzt wird der ganze Welt wissen, was meine Pläne sind bei 42. Würdest du ihnen sagen, oder würdest du mir sagen? Wir sind schon auf dieser Straße.

I didn't say I was trying to go to the Olympics. I said I think I could.

Das ist ein guter Punkt, weil ich 42 Jahre alt sein werde. Ich bin nicht 42, jetzt bin ich 39. Ich bin in meinen 30ern, in meinen letzten 30ern. Ich bin in meinen letzten 30ern. Und ich arbeite nicht sehr oft. Du arbeitest aber genug. Aber ich arbeite genug. Und ich fühle mich so, als hätte ich die Chance, den Pedal auf den Metall zu legen.

Können wir das erst beantworten? Ich bin ein Panther. Okay, ein Panther. Das ist der Panther, den du mitgebracht hast.

Ich würde sagen, es sieht aus, als hätten ein paar von uns Dunning-Kruger.

Ich würde sagen Flagg-Football, aber ich verabschiede mich.

Thank you. It was obvious.

That I overestimate myself. Overestimating my overestimation.

Is money attached to the fame? Yes, of course.

Oil money, okay. They take care of you. I think it would be a discussion. No, I'm kidding. I would not sell my soul. for like a discussion. Counterpoint. It would have to be a guaranteed contract. There you go.

We were going to probably get a yes. Why would you do that? People have gone to Canada. We need to be better. This close to playing for the Canadian Olympic flag football team.

It was right there. He played in Canada. I played in Canada. I lived in Montreal. It would be an easy, it would be a good story. Absolutely.

Wenn ich einen olympischen Goldmedaillen dazu geben kann, oh mein Gott. Du sprichst von Dun & Kruger.

Ja, es ist nichts wie das. Premium. Ich denke, ich kann in den Olympischen Spielen spielen. Ich würde ein paar Filme schauen. Also nachdem diese Kommentare von den Flagg-Football-Spielern herausgekommen sind, und sie sind tolle Fußballspieler, nicht mich falsch sagen. Salute an die USA-National-Flagg-Football-Team.

Ja, und ich stimme nicht dazu. Aber ich glaube, dass sie eher sagen, dass wir sie nicht brauchen. Und das ist wahr. Denn Amerika ist dort, wo Fußball geboren wurde. Wir sind natürlich die Experten im Flagg-Football, auch für diejenigen, die so athletisch und wissenschaftlich gewohnt sind, wie die NFL-Spieler.

Aber ich habe es dem 3-on-3-Team genannt, das in den Olympischen Spielen das letzte Spiel hatte. Nun, es gibt ein paar Regeln, warum die NBA-Spieler nicht da sind, aber ich würde sogar sagen, geh mit den ehemaligen NBA-Spielern. Und diese Mannschaft tut viel besser in den Olympischen Spielen, als sie es machte. Sie wurde von Jimmy Ferdet geführt, aber trotzdem... Warum machen wir hier so viel?

Ich denke, das ist, wo ich wohnen werde. Das ist, wie ich das Team machen werde.

Bro, ich sage dir, ich verstehe es nicht.

Ja, Laderdrillen. Letztes Mal habe ich meinen Quick getestet. Also vor drei Wochen, da war ein Kind, ein Highschool-Kind, dem ich sagte, ich denke, du hast Potenzial. Ich habe ihn mit einem anderen Quarterback, der in die Schule geht, gematcht, um ihn auf die Route zu nehmen, damit ich ihn anschauen kann. Der andere Torwart ist nicht aufgekommen, also bin ich da rausgekommen.

Und ich war so... Wie ein Fahrradfahrer, richtig? Ich habe es immer noch. Oh mein Gott. Verdammt. Dein Junge hat immer noch die Richtung geändert.

I would roll bums in alleys for bottles they had. I would roll rich guys coming out of nightclubs downtown, one in particular that was right by a very choice alley for it, because I knew that those people would have cash and credit cards, and I would just wait across the street for someone who was stumbling and push them down on the ground and take their wallet.

And it was, that's how I lived, day to day, and I saw nothing wrong with it, I was just trying to survive. Ultimately, realizing deep inside that I was losing this game of life, and rather than work to get out of the hole that I was in, I wanted to quit, right? And the longer I dwelled on that, quit life. The longer that I dwelled on that, the more that turned into suicidal ideation.

Eventually, I acted on it. I woke up one day in a in a flophouse hotel that I had gone into with a fistful of barbiturates and a couple of bottles of, you know, warm pop of vodka. And. I chugged them all and I woke up and I wasn't dead. And apparently I'd been out for a couple of days. And my intention was not to wake up. And I don't know why.

A hundred plus thousand people descending on, you know, essentially South Beach, although there are events all the way down to the jump off spot to the Keys and all the way up to West Palm and.

I mean, I took enough barbiturates to kill someone twice my size. I don't know why I survived that day. But I did. And I picked up the phone and I did something that I had never done my whole life that everybody had told me. was sort of the key to growing as a human being. And that was to look someone in the eye and say, I don't know how to do that. Can you show me?

Because you couldn't tell me anything about me. I knew more than you. Everything was self, self, self, self, self. I was better. And not only did I reject your opinions and your advice and any wisdom, and I was a terrible listener, but I... I also blamed you for all the problems that I had. You got the pretty girl. You got the better grades. You stole the attention of this group of friends.

Whatever it was, other people were the problem. It was always me not getting things at the party as opposed to what I was bringing to

So that's what I'm asking you. How no one noticed. Because there was no direction. I had a sick mother who was basically invalided by a surgery in a hospital gone wrong. And a father who was living in an apartment downtown far away. I've learned today that my father, who's my hero, ultimate hero in life. uh, was, was also the person who abandoned me into that situation with my mother.

Um, which is okay for me to say today, it took me 20 years in, in sobriety to even realize that there was an abandonment in my life by him. Um, and because I would never do that to my own kid and it, it, it were the situation reversed and it was a, um, You know, and looking back on that home situation, 14 years old, self-will run riot.

It has become a massive really Wednesday to Monday scene, so much so that there are there are giant sized ticketed events that other people throw because they know so many people are in town like Art Basel, like so many or Basel, I guess, as we're supposed to call it.

It would be the best way to describe what was going on in my head and my behaviors. And without supervision, you know, horrific things develop. So there was that in me. in very large amounts.

Oh, very well. You know, a lot of addiction and alcoholism is characterized by a duality of lives, right? So on one hand, I was sinking further and further into my addiction. And alcoholism and the behaviors that are associated with it, which are just as destructive.

On the other hand, you know, nine to five, I am, you know, rock starring in great grades, president of my senior class, you know, you know, doing all the right moves in all the right groups, doing all the right things. And by the way, a lot of really fun, great stuff was happening to me in high school. But my five to nine, so to speak, was a lot of...

Delinquent behavior, you know, things I'm not proud of, a lot of drugs and alcohol use. And, you know, what would have happened if I wasn't? Would I have even been more high achieving? Yeah, I would imagine so. But, you know, I did well. I got into a good college and I continued that duality all the way up until I couldn't support it anymore, which was about a year and a half before that eviction.

Until the drug problem caves in everything else. It was actually the alcohol problem. And I mean that really specifically. And it's why I think alcohol, and I've said this a lot very publicly, I think alcohol is more dangerous than any drug I've ever experienced. If alcohol was invented today, you wouldn't be able to buy it in stores. It's so dangerous. It would test out so dangerously at the FDA.

It would be classified as heroin is classified. You just can't get it. I quit drugs about three years before I sobered up, about 18 months before the complete instability and the homelessness and all the rest of that. It accelerated my downward spiral. I was completely uncontrollable. My life was completely unmanageable on alcohol.

On drugs, I was able to somewhat function, mostly because I was using a combination of uppers and downers to work. I could show up. I could pop a pill and be alert, quote unquote, and I could show up for things. When I went solely on alcohol, my life just absolutely hurtled out of control. Four days, five days of blackout that I would awaken from and nothing.

you know, look around and say, where am I? I mean, it was really, really, really, really bad. And the worst kind of, you know, self-loathing. Alcohol brought out the absolute worst in me. And when I was focused solely on that and drinking around the clock, I was unable, completely unable to function physically, mentally, physically.

Obviously, there was no spiritual life, no inwardly directed moral set of values. And that's when things got really, really, really bad. Okay.

Yes. And free samples of things.

It has become really something that's quite incredible and raised, you know, 40 million dollars for this hospitality school, which is a vital, vital, vital importance because of the intersection of, you know, societal tentpoles at which chefs and people in the hospitality industry sit from health and wellness to immigration to national security, hunger, waste, climate crisis.

No, no. I mean, I have shared privately in recovery rooms, in certain environments, the litany of worst of the worst. And I have no desire to get into – glorifying that behavior by listing all of it out. But I was not aware that I did it. But it's so fascinating that you mentioned this because somebody asked me about this at dinner last night.

I did an interview for a group called Think that creates videos for mental health and wellness programs. support for people. And they came and interviewed me and I told them a story that wound up being in this cut. They created a seven minute video. We're going to put it up on my website and on my YouTube, I think next week. I think folks can see it. It's think.com or think.org.

I really should know that. But it's quite a compelling piece that they put together. They invested a lot of money in this. The animation alone in it had to cost a fortune. It's a really well done seven minute, condensed version of my story. And in it, I talked about jerking a guy off in an alley for money when I was doing – when I needed money for heroin.

And I realized that I had never told – that had never come out publicly before. I think the way – the media works, more people will probably know that now that I'm talking to you about it, then we'll ever see it on think. So when you talk earlier about the value of sharing these, these details, it is in there.

I'm sure there are people out there who are just absolutely horrified listening to that, but I know there are also people, men out there and women who will listen to that and say, yeah, I did that too. For, for some, or a version of that, that kind of behavior where you will cross every moral line to get, to prioritize your using is that, that jumping off place that we, we,

As alcoholics and drug addicts in recovery, when we look back, we say, wow, that was another line that I crossed. Oh, another year later, that was another line that I crossed. And in fact, it was those behaviors that year that made me think, all right, drugs bad, booze legal, I'll just do that. And it wound up, as I said, accelerating my downfall.

It's overwhelming. And, you know, I mean, where did you get the sensitivity to that? Because most people aren't sensitive to that. To which part? The loss of dignity, the shame?

I mean, yes. I mean, could you absorb that intellectually? I mean, you're very empathetic.

It is. Every year I get better. It was a process to identify it. It was a process. It was a sequence in my life. There was the first couple of years that I was, you know. clean, I mean before real sobriety kind of set in, my life was very simple. I worked from nine to five, I went to meetings, I went home, I went to bed. There was no workaholism. There were also no relationships.

There were also no bills coming to the house. You know, life. I wasn't in the complete flow of life. The more I inserted myself into the complete flow of life and became successful because I didn't have the drugs and alcohol to interfere. And because I had learned a different way of living and a different platform on which I mean, physical platform, literal platform on which to predicate my life.

Things start to get good, and you start to realize that, okay, sobriety is not a switch that's on-off. It's a dimmer. I mean, it slides. The room gets brighter and darker. And many times during the day, there's not on or off. Life has got a ton of gray. And so whenever I was confronted with a problem or something, if I didn't want to think about it as a chef in a restaurant at

It is fun entertainment. I'm co-hosting the closing party, something that I've done for, I don't know, the last 15 of the 20 years that I've been down here. And, you know, obviously the regular demos and dinners and the other things that I've been doing every day on the hamster wheel of excess that I've been, you know, treading. Yes.

three, four, five, six, seven years clean, which is what I was doing for seven years in Minnesota, was I was a chef and partner in a very small restaurant group. As I was kind of rebuilding my life, I could dive into work. I mean, restaurants are perfectly

day-to-day restaurant work is perfectly suited for that if you're part of the leadership team because you can find the excuse to be there early before everyone shows up and leave late after most people have gone and justify it, right? Oh, this is a job that you have to devote yourself 100% to. I mean, devote yourself 100% to anything and there's no room for the rest of what life has to offer.

And the older you get, you mentioned mortality. I think it's more about realizing and I think it's probably the, you know, every year I have a different message for people. And I've realized kind of looking back at the last couple of months, my message for people does have a lot to do with my mortality, which is what do you want to spend your, your time on?

Because when, you know, when I died, which, you know, knock on wood won't be for a long, long, long time, people speak nicely of me. I hope, uh, assuming that I, I die clean and, um, I continue on the path that I'm on. People will say nice things about me when I'm gone. My possessions will get divided up. Pictures will be on people's walls.

I'll be remembered fondly for a while until I'm not remembered at all, which is really – and I'm talking about on a regular, regular basis – you will gradually fade from people's consciousness. And at the end of the day, you know, how do I want to spend my time? Because accumulating the things is not going to do me any good when I'm gone. I need to be enjoying experiences now.

So hanging out and taking a walk with my kid has probably taken on 20 times the importance today than it did a year ago. I mean, literally a year ago, because those are the things that I want to be doing more of while I'm still ambulatory and can take a walk.

Likewise.

Yes, because I can't say the word no. We were saying that before we came in here. Once I'm coming down to a place, folks look at me and they say, hey, you're here. Would you? Could you? And I'm like, absolutely.

It's how you support your family. It's how you take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. There are a lot of healthy things about that. I always describe it to young men and women that I mentor, especially in the recovery that, you know, we have all these metaphors for it. You know, stay in the center of the boat. Don't get near the edges.

You know, it's the same thing as driving down the center of the road. Stay as close to the center line of the highway. Don't start bouncing off the guardrails, right, in life. And it's difficult because sometimes life forces you to bounce off. Sometimes that guardrail comes towards you. So it does become challenging. But we do seek out, for some reason, as human beings, there is an element of

of self-sabotage in all of us, right? It's just magnified, I think, in some of us.

Oh, wow, what a great question. Well, if I had to pick one concept that was specific but touched the three, four, or five biggest things that are guideposts for me, it's very hard to pick. We don't look at one star and say I'm going to navigate towards that. Stars are too far away. We need to have a cluster of stars. It's a grouping thing. I have, I think it's learning to be the dog.

My goal in life, every day when I get up is more and more to try to be the dog. The dog is pure empathy, pure empathy. I mean, even Hitler had a dog. Think of the worst person you know, they have a dog. That person comes home, they sit on the couch, the dog jumps up in their lap and puts their head down and is just with that person. That's what dogs are, they're pure empathy.

And I have learned that I don't have to fix your problems. I don't have to judge you. I don't have to do anything in life, but just be with you. And if I am really just with you, I mean, there's that beautiful moment in the, in the movie big night and you know, Stanley Tucci and Tony Shalhoub are in that kitchen, and Tony Shalhoub just makes scrambled eggs for them.

All their plans have gone awry. They're gonna lose everything, but you kind of are left with the feeling that they won't. They're gonna figure a way out of this. Because they're finally just with each other. The movie ends with the two of them in silence eating scrambled eggs and and toast. Right. In that movie. And there is an element of of of being the dog there that is so beautiful.

And in that piece of film sort of. everything that I'm talking about. But if you can just be the dog with someone, uh, you have incredible access and incredible ways to touch each other in relationship. And I, I've got a really short example for you. Um, You're in a relationship. Your significant other that you live with comes home, walks in the door hot.

I mean, red hot, anger, swearing, slamming doors, throwing bags. I lost my phone. The dog ran away. I think I'm going to get fired. My new boss is a jerk. There's a lot happening. There's a lot happening. And I turn to that person and I say, well, did you... Ask the security guard at work if they found your phone. And the security's like, you know, up yours. I'm an adult.

I don't need you to solve my problem. Of course I talked to the security guard. I'm just venting. I need my best friend, you know. Right. Screw you. You are not connecting as human beings. If that person comes in and does the same thing and I say, sit down and I go into the kitchen and I get a glass of water and I turn to them, I said, that sounds awful. What else happened?

And I just let them like, oh, well, better than I talked to security. I did this, did that. And it's like, you know, thank you for listening. Thank you for just being there for me. We we see examples in space for it all the time to be the dog. We just don't we want to you know, I call it operationalizing before co-regulating. You have to co-regulate with someone first and then operationalize.

If I tell you what to do before we're co-regulated, my advice is meaningless.

And by the way, that human connection is the essence of my storytelling. And it is the thing that I hear back the most from fans about my TV work, right? I mean, very few people relatively taste my food, buy my products, you know, do the other things that I do, but in, in groups of millions of people, they see my weekly, uh, TV work that I put out now. And, you know,

A very large number of people collectively have seen the eight or nine TV shows that are up on the HBO Max. You make a lot of content.

I'm talking about the way you feel. Gratitude is how I run my life. Words matter. You are a wordsmith. And when we talk about not having a home for a year, you know, that is homelessness, right? And it's not food insecurity, it's hunger. And I've experienced both those things in my life. I've been, you know, a homeless street junkie, user of people, taker of things. I've been in jail and prison.

It's your craft. Yes. And on television, that is what people when they say, oh, you're so respectful to other people or I like and go with you anywhere on that journey or I will watch any piece of content that you put out, whether it's talking through a recipe because of the story that I tell that goes along with it or whether it's a.

six-hour docu-series on MSNBC like What's Eating America or even stuff that I produce, the Hope in the Water, the PBS series that we made, docu-series that came out last summer, is a great example of that. It is, I'm not in it,

But as the owner of the company that made the series, it is infused with our DNA because the people who I work with, who are my colleagues in that business, they are phenomenal carriers of the messages that we try to weave. And it is such an interesting thing to have that spat back at you by friends and fans alike, where inside I'm thinking to myself, okay, that was good.

I was able to connect that way with people. People don't, you know, we don't have it written out in a lower third or graphic that crawls across the bottom of the screen. But, you know, I've written about this and talked about this a lot. It's like, you know, food is good. Food with a story is better. Food with a story that you haven't heard about is better than that.

But food with a story you haven't heard about that you can relate to is the best of all. And that was Bizarre Foods. It was Delicious Destinations. It was Zimmern List. Some of my other work that isn't necessarily

always about food is you know we've stretched a little bit at our production company we do I mean the company itself produces a lot of different types of shows and not just in the food space but with the stuff that I do it's not always in the food space you're a mercenary merchant about understanding that you can tell I've learned this I can tell all the stories through sports you can tell all the stories through food 100% I do it through hardware

And so could you. You either have that storytelling gene or you don't. You've just chosen the world of sports and competition. I mean, you know, without breaking down everything that you do, you know, what I love about sports because I'm a sports geek. It's how I discovered, you know, your show years and years and years ago.

And we talked about this a little bit or hinted at it both on and off air when I did your podcast. that other show with you a couple of weeks ago. Um, it, it is, I love sports because you can, you can get every itch scratch. You can tell every kind of story to it. The human drama in sport is great.

The human drama in our food world is great, you know, because I can talk about international relations, national, international security, um, you know, voter suppression, climate crisis. I mean, every story that I want to tell, I can tell through food. That's my, food is my tool. Sports is your tool. But we tell the same kinds of stories. It's the same stuff. I was watching, you know,

I follow so many different sports things on my phone, and now my phone knows what I like, all the AI stuff that's integrated into these social media platforms and on our devices.

So I turn on my laptop or my phone, and it's throwing stuff at me that I love, which for an addict, I can sit there for hours watching the right kind of little videos, and then I yell at my kid for spending five minutes on his phone. But that's great. I saw last night, someone was counting down like greatest moment in sports.

And what came in at number two was the Korean Winter Olympics, the cross-country ski race, where we had never been on the podium in cross-country skiing. It was Sweden, Norway, Sweden, Norway, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Finland, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Norway. And... which is great if you love herring, which I do, but US had never done it. And what was her name?

Diggins, the young who wound up getting the gold medal. And she was third by like 10 yards over the last quarter mile. And you just watch her digging deep. And it's that famous picture where she's sticking her foot out, like stretching, doing a split to get her tip of her ski across the line and squeaks out the gold and then collapses, literally collapses, having spent every ounce of energy.

And I hadn't seen it in years. And it's a little 35, 40-second clip of the end of that race at night. And you can see that the Scandinavian skiers are – kind of coasting to victory at one point. And she has to physically get up this little hill and then physically catch up getting down. And you're just like, there's no way. There's no way she's going to do this. And she does.

And you could talk about everything about life in that moment. Everything. The same way that if you serve me a bowl of soup, I can tell you everything about that culture. And we can talk about our food system in America if you serve me a bowl of minestrone. I'll break it down for you that way. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. Disaster. It's very funny, and my pride always talks about this. The network, in an effort to promote other seasons of Bizarre Foods, would call them different things. So we made 140 episodes of Bizarre Foods, but we made 40 episodes of Bizarre World that was the same show.

I've done some horrible, horrible things in my life. And then, you know, had a complete 180... you know, flip 33 plus years ago and my life changed all for the better. And while life still happens, I mean, life is fired at us at point blank range, right?

We made 80, 90 episodes of Bizarre Foods America, which is just the domestic stuff, because you want the press to report on it. There's nothing new about a new season, season eight of Bizarre Foods. There's nothing new there to get PR and marketing out of at any earned media. So we would call it something different.

Which is something I always have to clarify for myself because I have to remember how really how privileged – it doesn't come from a place of ego. It's just that there's hundreds and hundreds of hours of that show and – I mean 400 episodes of Delicious Destination, something ridiculous. And that's just my first two shows, right? When the very first show came out, it was –

Morocco aired for the first three were Morocco, Spain, Ecuador. And I was so proud. And I was like, I can't believe I'm on TV. And by the way, the network only bought the first 10 episodes. Right. And you're just so lucky to get there. And no, so few people get to that point. Even fewer get a second season. Right. I mean, it just doesn't happen to be doing what we do.

for as long as we've done it is super rarefied air, right? And I just remember being overwhelmed with happiness, but also overwhelmed with this feeling of, please let me do more of these. The joy, the personal satisfaction The adventure of traveling. I mean, the selfish, the healthy selfishness part of it.

And I had no idea, except through looking back on it, that actually 25 years later when I made What's Eating America, I was like, oh, no, no, no, that's the apex, right? I mean it just – the goalposts keep moving, right? If I had been satisfied with stopping at the first season of Bizarre Foods and just said, you know something? I've reached my dream. I'm putting – it's like knives down.

That's it. The buzzer has gone off. I would have undersold myself. But I – The next week, what's really, really, really interesting is how lucky we get in life because the next week, the show rated exactly the same number, which was a very small number. Very few people watched the first episode of Bizarre Foods. Very few people watched the second episode of Bizarre Foods.

What what networks look at is episode number three. If it hasn't caught fire by then, they're not going to buy a second season, especially in the unscripted lifestyle space, which is the space that I occupy. And so week three, we had a lot riding on it and the number came in. It aired that third Monday of the season. We did not get a great number. It was a few percentage points lower than

points lower than weeks one and two, which I think were the same, identical numbers. And that means the audience is not coming back. It means you're not growing audience. It is the episodic number they look at. And all I'm thinking is, well, it was, I mean, I got that first year. I'm going to have to think about what the next show I want to sell is.

We can't, we can't predict when the dog is going to run away or when the relationship is going to end or when the job changes or the, or the, the parent dies or the child gets sick or we get sick. You know, the big sort of things in life that tend to be, you know, hinge events.

If I want to keep doing this, what else would I want to do? How do I take this first season and get a book deal? I mean, all that stuff is going through my mind.

Phone rings Wednesday morning to the Jay Leno Show Booker from the Jay Leno Show and says, we saw this clip that was sent around of you in episode three getting spat on, lit on fire, having your whole body break out in hives because you're beaten with these poisonous bushes.

They were beating guinea pigs, live guinea pigs against your chest until the guinea pigs died, hitting you so hard with a live animal. in this shaman's, basically a brujera, an exorcist, exorcised demons from me in a small little town called Orovalo in Ecuador. And we put it in the show, and I had actually made that scene happen. It was me, a producer, and her boyfriend, later husband.

Friday, I go on the Leno show. You know, we weren't supposed to be shooting that. Everyone was on lunch break. I'm walking around. I'm curious. I go in. I realize I can pay this guy five dollars. He'll perform an exorcism on me. I'm like, Shannon, Mike, let's shoot this. They said, OK, begrudgingly at first and then way into it.

And we stuck with this for a couple of hours and skip what we're supposed to shoot that afternoon. a year and a half later, the Leno show calls me cause they see it. And that Friday night I'm on the tonight show and you get that. And as someone who grew up watching Johnny Carson, I'm just waiting to hear the words, Oh my God, you're fantastic. We've run out of time. Will you come back?

And Jay says that to me. And I just was like, Oh my God. And I had a sense. I really did have a sense because I'd grown up with the Carson show, uh, And I had watched the Jay Leno show a lot, as America did back in those days. Oh, my God. I said, this is going to something's going to change. The next week, the ratings numbers went through the roof. Tony's book came out.

that week, and they had us on back-to-back nights. So you could settle in on Travel Channel, and there was a two-hour block, later a three-hour block with our reruns, alternating shows, and then double-stack our reruns. You had four hours of Zimmern and Bourdain, and it was...

For three years, I mean, we pulled some numbers that were equal to Monday Night Football, you know, after season two, season three.

However, in general, the thing that has happened to me has been placed in a position where I can operate best when I'm in a state of being grateful all the time. And I'm reminded of it all the time face-to-face because I'm very public with my story. And that's been sort of the key to my own happiness. If I wasn't public with... my story, I wouldn't be getting the, the empathy back.

I mean, you're not— Yeah, but not standing in a kitchen. Food Network, remember, at the time was not doing competition shows— This is 2007, 8, 9. Food Network had no competition shows. It was, you know, chefs standing behind a cutting board, you know, you know, Emeril and all of those great chefs, great friends of mine doing great TV. But it was all I mean, Emeril.

Emeril Live was the most adventurous thing.

Oh, my gosh. Some of the stuff that we do. He is a wonderful human being and an amazing parent and an amazingly – I'm just saying he took his chefing – No, no, no. I do it all the time.

No, it wasn't your mistake. I'm not saying he's an asshole. I'm just saying for years I did Bam on television to make fun of him because I thought it was

wrong I didn't take it that way we get caught up in the night like I do that stuff all the time when people come up to me they say oh well this is actually I met you four or five years ago I often I really my lips to God's ears I will oftentimes say to them was I nice or was I a jerk because sometimes in the moment someone people have said to me their version of well this dish didn't come out or you know my sea bass is cold and they've insulted the great insulted me James Beard award-winning yes

Don't short me.

Of course, which is why I'm a nice Jewish boy from New York City. In restaurants, I would always do a second Seder, and I love cooking my grandmother's Seder menu, because it's traditionally a really dead night in the restaurant business. And

I realize it's the toughest crowd in the world because no one's chicken soup, even if mine is twice as good as your grandma's, is better than your grandma's because it's what you grew up on, even if it's dishwater. So I realized I was competing. I would go table touching. How is everything? It's okay.

And that's what you would hear because everyone's like, well, my grandmother would always put carrots in her soup. And I'm like, well, there are carrots in the broth. We strain them out and then we wanted to do something a little. And I realized, oh my God, it's not working.

It's one of the reasons I think that Tony wound up just cooking for friends and family and sort of never went back into that space because you leave yourself open for too much other stuff. It's kind of safer to be on TV.

Were you competitive, though, I would imagine? Of course, 100%. The first couple of years, 100%. As a matter of fact, I'm always reminded of it because we had our big sort of friendship breakthrough where it kind of went to a...

a much better level down here, the first year he ever did South Beach, which I had been doing for a while, where he asked me to come out during his demo, which was basically he did this Wonder Wheel thing where he spun this wheel and he would answer questions from the audience depending on what was going on in this wheel and some other things were going on.

And I came out and he put his arm around me and said publicly how much he admired what I did because we told the same stories and we loved the same things. And we were, you know, sons from, from different mothers, brothers from different mothers. But, um, he was amazed. He made a very funny joke about it. He said, you know, I eat the walrus anus and so do you, except you have to do it sober.

He said, which is, he said, which is why, you know, I, I, you know, mad respect for you. Um, and it was really, really interesting because, um, You know, we were on Monday night together. We built that travel channel. I mean, we really did.

I mean, I can look back on it now and say that again without having to apologize for it, that, you know, our Monday night allowed them to spread out the the content wheel across the other weeknights and bring on. A half dozen other shows that did really, really well.

Why? Oh, my God. Because it would be acknowledging that I've actually achieved something.

OK, I know. But it's like I'm you're not allowed to have ego about that. You're not allowed to say because I'm scared if I get too much ego about where it's going to take me. It's not about acknowledging that, you know... Isn't there self-love there, though? There should be. In being proud of yourself? Should be. I'm just not, you know, I'm not... you know, feet of clay.

I'm still frail in different parts of my life. But the point is I am okay today when people, someone said to me, well, you and Bourdain built that channel. And I was like, in my head, I'm like, just say thank you. Just say thank you. Don't argue, just say thank you. And I finally just said, thank you. Five, six years ago. And I've been able to say thank you and acknowledge that we did do that.

I wouldn't have to talk about it all the time and having to talk about it all the time. And when I say all the time, I mean, in my public life, it is, it is the greatest gift because it's what keeps me sober. It's what keeps me healthy, happy, serene. When I am not those things, it is usually because of a problem of my own making that put me in a position to be hurt.

And then they put us on different nights to kind of stretch the slate, as it were. It's just network strategy for growing audience. It worked. Tony stayed on Monday. I went to Tuesday. I brought my audience over. They could put other shows underneath me and just grow a night. And then they take that person I grew and put them on Wednesday.

I mean, so it's a long term, decade long strategy to grow the audience. the network, which they did. But we really made that for them. And when they put me on Tuesday night, we became very competitive. And people always, you know, you're the two best shows on Travel Channel, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And we sort of had the same content wheel.

So our competition started to become who's going to get to Cuba first? Who's going to get to North Korea first? Who's going to get to... Syria first, you know, and we would call each other on the phone and and and kid each other about it But you'd hang up and you'd be like I'm gonna get I'm you know We got to get our visas before Bourdain does right like competitive.

Much less helpful. But I mean, even if we're playing darts, people say to me, what kind of sports do you like to play? And I always say anything where I can keep score. Because even if you beat me 90 to 60, I'm like, OK, there's a benchmark. Next time you'll beat me 90 to 70. The next time it's going to be a toss up. Right. I'm just going to I'm going to practice. I'm going to figure it out.

I'm going to. And it's what I love about. It's what I love about life are those little competitions and scorekeeping. However, I can go into a dangerous place with it where it is much less helpful.

I got to clamp it on there and realize that I don't have to just keep pushing, pushing, pushing, pushing.

At a certain point after that South Beach thing, we got together. We got together with our kids. We got to know each other a lot better. We were able to talk about... the issues that we were having in life as opposed to just our work or, you know, you just go to that next level of relationship with somebody. And it was a and in fact, the very last time I saw him,

was down here at South Beach Wine and Food Festival the year that he killed himself. And I was working when that happened. And it was a very, very, very difficult day, a very tragic day. But I was able, because we were close friends, I was able...

with dignity for him to address and because of my own experience with my own mental health issues to talk about an aspect of his life that other people could not address because they did not have suicide as a uh event in their own life as a as someone who is a what's the best way to describe it? I'm not recovering from it.

It is an act that is no longer an issue for me, but as someone who had those feelings and acted on them and tried to take his own life, I think I had an understanding of what was going on there that other people didn't. So.

Yes and no. So that you're. Yes and no. Yes and no. I heard things come out. I mean, we all hear things come out of friends' mouths where we're like, you really believe that? What? I mean, that's not cool, bro.

And there were aspects of life and relationship that he would express joy or concern about where, you remember I talked before about staying in the center of the lane and not hitting the guardrails, where you see a friend hitting guardrails, but I didn't put it all together. And I should...

I hate to shoot on myself, but I guess a better way to say it is you would think with my background and what I've experienced in my own life that I would have been more aware of the pain that he was in because nobody goes around broadcasting it. We all have that TV commercial idea of depression where the sad music goes on, the camera dims. Maybe it goes to black and white.

And, you know, that's not how life works. That's not how life works. And that's not how depression manifests itself all the time. It's not like the TV commercial. And I, I am so repulsed by it and it makes me so fucking angry to see it that commercial after commercial has the face of suicide. Depression is a 20 something year old woman sitting on the edge of a maid bed and

head down with sad music playing because that's not how it manifests itself. That's how a commercial will symbolize it in an effort to get more people to buy that drug, right? Which is really hospitals and doctors. I mean, some people, you know, watch a commercial and go to a doctor and say, can I get this medicine?

But very few, you're really trying to sell to a very small audience, but they're going to buy in very large numbers.

The portrayal of it, which is why I love saying I have all of these issues and I'm a suicide survivor. But you're so happy and successful. I'm like, yes, you can be both. And by the way, I'm in recovery. I am active in my recovery. That's why I'm happy and productive. And it's why I'm joyous and free.

And the minute I cease to be active in my own recovery, I give up that joyfulness and that freedom. But with with Tony, when when he would tell me about the new relationship with the woman or the feeling of not being there for his daughter or issues in his relationship with his daughter's mother and both when they were married and not, there are.

Looking back on it, I'm like, oh my gosh, there we go. That was something that I, as a friend, I realized that there were so many gifts. One of the things I have to practice is trying to find gifts. something that justifies sadness in life, when there's something like that.

To tell people nakedly, this is what addiction was for me. Correct. And I was in a position where there was an element about it that was, as my spiritual guru in my 12-step program described it to me, that was a form of service work, right? Because...

And it took me years to remember that what I need to be talking about when people ask me about Tony's death is not fetishizing it, it's not telling stories, oh, look at me, I was a friend of his and everybody, he was the most magnetic person I've ever met in my life. I mean, he is worshiped and rightfully so in a way that is reserved only for our greatest of people in our culture.

And very deservedly so. However, I have to also remember that rather than fetishizing that and talking about it in a way that makes me look good, I need to take the messages of what that experience taught me

to help other people and there are so many things in there you asked before when we started this conversation about the things that motivate me to be more open and more revealing about my life it's not only because i don't want to go back to that really dark place where i was when i tried to take my own life but it's also because i can use those things to help other people

And, you know, I mentioned that an hour ago when we were talking, but it's really underscored when we talk about things like Tony's death, which, by the way, is one of the things we will look at. It's all those suicides. Remember. You know, we will never know. I mean, Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, how many actor Heath Ledger. Right. Discovered with drugs by his bed. Right. Do we.

Matthew Perry. Were those were those acts of people taking their own lives for someone like me? They are because those people knew the behaviors. Right. Could lead to jails, institutions and death. Knew it. Were they doing it consciously? We will never know. Right. Those people died alone. You know, Whitney Houston, same thing. Was it an attempt? Was she trying to take her own life?

Was or was just simply an overdose? She happened to be in the bathtub. We will never know. But those are things that when I'm specifically mentioning public people, because when I'm talking to other people, I can I can use that because it's a common reference point.

Again, not fetishizing, trying to use it to help other people to point out that we don't know what's going on in those moments when you're alone. It is reaching out and asking for help rather than keeping all those things stuff down. That's going to wind up saving lives.

Oh, well, I appreciate that. Thank you. I appreciate the platform to be able to talk about it. You know, I truly believe that the more, you know, sunshine that we throw in all this stuff, the the fewer problems we're going to have in this area and that society has taught us that looking good is is is something to be prioritized.

if, if I'm placed in this, in this world where I started, well, I was placed in this world where I started to have a platform and I had to make a decision about how public I was going to be with this.

When, in fact, I think being vulnerable is what should be prioritized. We need to make change. being vulnerable something that is a regular part of our lives.

That's exactly right. And I didn't use a one of them.

And the more that I kept it away from people, the more, not only was it secret keeping for me because I wasn't living an honest and open life, but I was missing out on the opportunity to help another person who could look at me. Cause on the outside I look bright and shiny and you, If they heard that I was a suicide survivor, maybe they would say, oh, my gosh, so what happened?

I mean, if that was 33 years ago and this guy looks pretty happy and like he has a pretty nice life and then they hear from me that I am pretty happy and I have a pretty nice life, then I get to tell them what happened. And what that transformational moment was for me, maybe it helps another person.

And what I have found, especially when I do things like this and I have conversations about my life with another human being in a public way, right? Listeners are, we will change someone's life, probably many, many people's lives just by having this conversation. I get stopped every single day by someone who thanks me because of something I said that helped them. a family member.

Well, you do start to benefit from it in such a regular way that it is like a lab mouse hitting that little dropper in the cage that rewards them in some way, whether it's with sugar water or whatever. Yeah, I mean, I'm an addictive person.

100%. Because I have not... And look... addiction swapping, which is something, as a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, I would tell – I mean I do tell newcomers we have to slow our lives down so we are not addiction swapping. Alcoholism and drug addiction will kill you faster than workaholism. But workaholism will kill your relationships, right?

So you better tread lightly on those addiction swapping. You don't want to start picking up candy and cigarettes and putting down one thing and balloon up and get really sick. So I tell people – You know, what was told to me when I showed up, which was slow, slow it down. And I spent the first four or five years in slow mode. And then as my life started to build back up, I was able to.

have some perspective on the things that I was starting to do on a more regular basis. So I could meter my workaholism. I could meter out the tie. I didn't want to be number one, a one trick pony. I also would, it would be very boring for me personally to live a life where I was just preaching all the time, but selectively, absolutely. Yes, I am. I am addicted to,

to the concept of gratitude, the way I get that way is by sharing my story and doing service work puts life in perspective for me. And service work saved my life.

No, no, no. I love it. I mean, you know, this is these are the conversations that I love and I love what you do. So, yeah, let's dive in.

evicted from an apartment and and i and before that i don't know what your uh family situation was that would allow you to uh to be dabbling in drug use too early for most kids uh i mean the really short story is you know family of um a good family uh well off private school you know summer home i mean you know one percenters for sure um

You know, I at a very early age, I already had the addictive personality and the way that manifested itself was in extreme selfishness and extreme selfish behavior. Everything was about me. Take, take, take, take, take. And, you know, when you're 10. being a user of people and a taker of things looks differently, you know, it's, you know, spoiled Brad. Okay. He's amusing. Nice.

Uh, can he be tender and real at times? Absolutely. Uh, but mostly he's acting out of self, right? But loving home, discipline, home, Loving home. Parents trying their best. I mean, you know, kids don't come with instruction manuals. I'm well aware of that as a parent. But yeah, my parents tried the best they could. Did they have issues that were unresolved?

I mean, one of the things that I love about this new sort of mental health and wellness program.

The moment that we seem to be having in this culture with so many people talking about it and telling folks it's OK to not be OK is that we're going to end some of the generational trauma that young people in my generation were victims of for sure, because our parents were told to stuff that bad feeling down. So when I ask.

Had you arrived at your teens yet when you're using? Yes, I did. You're very insightful. The term discipline is really, really interesting. You know, there is a balance of affection and direction that I think we try to use with our kids. I got very little direction and a ton of affection, which is great. You want to be loved and feel loved, but without direction.

we can wander aimlessly and get into a lot of trouble. And if we are already predisposed to enjoy that trouble, you know, some people get into trouble. They're like, oh, my God, that was so uncomfortable. I don't want to go near that again. You know, I call it the tequila syndrome. They get drunk on sweet, bad margaritas at some point. They're like, I'm never touching tequila again. Right.

And I know adults like that. It's just like, nope, had a bad night with tequila once in high school or college. Like, don't do it. And I find it fascinating because this is in a way sort of describing what how normies are to people like me who are addicts and alcoholics. You know, I never would describe a bad. on drugs and alcohol. Because that was my wubby. That was my solution to things.

And once I found... You know, I had some situations in my life that I didn't want to have my brain be percolating on. You know, my mother got sick. My parents had divorced. I was nervous about high school. And I knew what would make me not feel that way was smoking weed and drinking. And very quickly, those two things did not... scratch the itch enough.

And so then it became pills and cocaine added into the mix. And then we added heroin into the mix and hallucinogenics and on and on and on. And by the time I got to college, you know, I was a full blown addict and alcoholic of immense proportions and actually had my first intake at a mental health center when I was 18 years old up in Poughkeepsie, New York. I went to Vassar College and

Well, 24 years ago, Lee Schrager had the idea, along with Southern Glazer Wine and Spirits, to, you know, throw a little party on the beach, have some chefs come down and cook some food, raise some money for Florida International University's Chaplin School of Hospitality. And it's taken off from there. It's now, I mean—

And they told me that I was chronic on the Jelinek scale, which is how they measure alcoholism and addiction, relatively quick 20 question test. And you answer yes to all those things. It's like, wow, you're at the full end of the scale at 18 years old. And but you can't tell an 18 year old that.

You know, their path is going to lead to, you know, jails, institutions and death, because at 18, we all think we're Superman. Right. So I just kept going and gradually over the course of the next 12 years until the time I was 30 and I got I got clean and. The elevator just kept going down through descending levels of, you know, Dante's circles of hell. I mean, it was just really, really awful.

Now, looking back on it, I can see that when you're in it, you don't see it as anything is a situation to quote unquote manage. You feel like you're in a small boat in an ocean with waves bigger than your mat. You can't see over the next waves. You're just dealing with the wave that's in front of you without a long term plan. Um, it eventually led me to losing my home, being evicted.

Um, and by the way, I, I was enjoying a very successful career in New York city before my drugs and alcohol absolutely made me unemployable, which is about a year and a half before I went homeless. Um, and I wound up, you know, squatting a building in lower Manhattan, uh, no, just casements in the windows in the, well, in the space where windows would be. Um,

Pirating electricity from the brownstone two or three over from the one that we were squatting. And, you know, my biggest issue was stealing comet cleanser to sprinkle around the dirty pile of clothes I passed out on every night so the rats and roaches wouldn't crawl all over me. You know, I would steal purses to survive. I would roll bums in alleyways.

We talk White Lotus this, White Lotus that, like Thursday, best Thursday of the year right here. And we're talking about White Lotus for six hours and kissing and let's focus on hoops. How about that, Juju?

That's okay. I love to watch people bomb. That's one of my favorite things to do is see other people just really tank it. The list was great. It just went on for about, I don't know, seven minutes too long, but it was good. Condense it next time. Just a little bit. Trim the fat.

Well, what's the redheaded gentleman's name with the Marlins hat on? I'm Chris. How's it going, man? I think he could do this with everybody in the room.

I do like Chris. A ginger hero of mine. Chris Cote, I like you a lot. I feel your vibe. Are you tall? I can't tell because you're sitting down. Are we anywhere between? 5'11". 5'11". Well, he's doing that thing. Right. So he's 5'10". He's trying to sniff six feet. I know how that goes. He's trying to sniff six feet.

Correct. Now, everyone who's 5'11 is actually 5'10. And every guy that says they're 6'1 is actually 6 feet. That's what it is. That's truly the way it breaks down. Damn it. And I got to tell you, Cody, I know you're 5'10. And can I just guess? Can I just guess for the sake of it? I'm not taking a shot at you. 2'6".

Good for you.

No, I'm sorry.

I care about you very much. I care about you very much. And I will say something about this guy. He's married. And what I can feel about this guy is he's married to a woman who is, and a cliche, but so far out of his league, it's hilarious. I bet you when you guys meet her, everybody goes, that's Koti's wife? Oh, my God. That's what they all say behind his back when they have that second view.

She takes care of you. All right, so I'm going to guess in three guesses what Cote drives. You know, okay, so my first genuine guess is a truck. My first guess is a truck because he looks like he might want to get in and out of a truck. You know, full-sized guy, might want to get in and out of a truck, but it's not a truck. That's OK. That's fine. It's got to be something.

It's got to be something standard. Then we're going to go back to just a sedan, maybe a regular sedan or a coupe or a little coupe. Nice coupe. Are you a Japanese car guy? You know what? He's got to be like a either a Lexus or an Acura.

You understand— Also— The Panthers outfit. What is that? Is this punishment? What is this? What is that?

Oh, thank you very much. Well, Bobby's mom is my best impression, but Bobby's dad was a special, special man who would hit him with golf clubs. So the irony of me doing a golf show is that Bobby's father would smack him around with golf clubs. That's his memory of golf.

So I'm excited to get Bobby on the show, teach him how to golf, but I'm afraid he's going to have these traumatic flashbacks and have PTSD from getting smashed with a 9-iron over the head in the morning.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know what? I put up with him for a long time. You live on a tour bus with Bobby Lee for for a good year. And then you tell me you're not owed a ticket into heaven, you know, a slot, a seat in there, because after all I put up with for that entire time. But he's look, he's my best friend. I love him. And what we've created together has been.

incredible to and i'm so happy about it we also have an animated show that we're doing together that we're creating based on our show so we're making some moves outside of that show and we just kind of want to keep growing the brand and having a good time that's you know at this point in my life and my career i just want to have fun i just i we've worked hard i just want to keep having fun now i want to do what you guys are doing i want to have a good time with my friends every day well that's and why yeah and what i don't think andrew does benny blanco really take a boat to europe or is he just messing around

Now, he did for a long time. He was afraid. He was afraid to fly for a very long time. Now, I think now he does finally fly. But I'm sure, you know, I'm sure Selena's got him on some private jet. So I'm sure he's I'm sure he's on her jet or whatever spaceship that everyone's using now. Right. Are people getting into spaceships now? That's the new thing.

All these celebrities I saw this are getting into spaceships. Can't wait. Leave them up there. Next time they go up, just leave them up there. Well, what's this thing? Let it float.

now i just think it's extremely out of touch i think it's like uh... i saw like emily radikowski had a post online that was like you just don't like it that women and women of color occupying the spaces where they're not usually seen it's like noted the economy is upside down people can't pay rent nobody gives a shit about celebrities sorry going to space

and it just doesn't make sense it's a little bit this is such an out-of-touch moment in time when people are scared of what's happening economically and then you're sending a famous people in here and make up the float around for a while it's just feels like it was like where are you do you have any you have any reasonable outlook on what's actually happening but Who cares? Leave them up there.

If anybody wants to go to space, leave them up there. This is crazy enough. Down here is crazy. Whenever somebody says, oh, you don't like fantasy movies or fantasy TV shows, no, Earth is nuts enough. You ever been to Detroit? It's crazy. You know what I mean? Go to Toledo. It's nuts. It's crazy enough.

That's right. Roy. Yes, sir. Roy, given what's going on right now, both culturally and economically, don't you think you have a case here to be made for employee abuse?

I'm trying to stay clean. I'm sorry. I'm trying to be clean.

Hey, wait a minute. I do a lot for charity. I do a ton for charity, and I will tell you this. This fall, I'm going to be headlining a Special Olympics for Charity softball event where we're using 16-inch, no-glove, Chicago-style softballs, and you pay a little bit of money, and you get to hit home runs off of your favorite comedians and celebrities.

You get to come hit a couple of jacks out of the park on us, including... And not limited to dunk tanks and all sorts of fun stuff. And you can embarrass your favorite comic, celebrity, whatever. So I'm always trying to do the right thing for community and others. I'm trying to uplift. I do my part. I'm not just sitting in space, Dan. I came on this show. This is a favor. You know what I mean?

I'm doing this just for you. Just to make you look good.

I mean, I often will get a text message going, hey, hate to bug you, but Sebastian Maniscalco is going to be in town, and I'd really love to see him. And then I got to text Sebastian and go, I'm sorry to do this. Is this OK? I've helped other people get tickets very, very often. I don't know the last time I've had someone else get me tickets. But what's the what's the nature of the beast of this?

I don't know if some would say that. I think that's that's not even an argument. I think Taylor Swift is probably the most valued ticket in the world in the box office would show that. Not going to say that I don't love a good better man jam by Pearl Jam, but I will say.

Roy. Roy. Roy. Well, let me represent you, please. I'll be your counsel.

Not me personally. I'll have one of my assistants do it. Marco, Sheila, Gina, or Steve will do it. They're all here right now. And one of them will text Eddie personally for me. I don't need to do any of that kind of stuff.

Oh, my God. i don't need to impress anybody i'm already married it's over for me so i mean i don't know who do i need to impress my friends i mean i barely have them anymore i'm trying to think of who i would need to impress my father is the only guy we're always looking for approval from and when i i sung the seventh inning stretch at wrigley last season was the moment for my dad uh...

i will tell you uh i will give you a little brag a little tiny beautiful brag i went to the masters for the first time in my life uh it was amazing and i was i was offered a chance to perhaps play Augusta, which was unbelievable. So without getting into too much detail, because as you know, it's quite private and interesting, but I was given the opportunity to hopefully play as an invite.

Hey, don't talk like that, man. This is a family show.

I am. Every time I see a LeBron clip, I wonder if he ever read any of those books that they had him on camera. He read the first page. I was like, man, he's got to write up a book report. He read the first couple of pages. Yeah, that's right. I'm ready to play. Give me the lie. Let me see.

He'd said none of that to the cop. The cop pulled him over and was like, what are you doing? And he was like, I'm so sorry, officer. I'm so sorry. Handed over his information, sat there quietly, did not have any of that banter with the cop. No chance. Not even a little bit. We really we know the truth. The cop was like, what did you think? What were you doing? It's like, oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm running late to this thing. He was really sweet and polite. He turned on his like, you know, how you talk to your grandma voice. He was not combative like that to the officer. I don't believe that for a heartbeat. No chance. Why?

No? Watch that. I'll do it right now. So yesterday when I was coming home from the airport, I actually got pulled over on the way home because I got in late last night from Vegas. My flight was delayed and I was rushing home. Because my wife has been sick for a couple of days straight and I was coming home and I was flying down the side and I clipped like a car in my neighborhood.

I clipped like part of the mirror. I went and I rang the doorbell of the person who was in that house. They said, that's not my car. And so then I wrote this long note about apologizing. I was rushing home and my wife is sick and I wrote this really detailed note about the whole thing and left them my phone number. And I got a text this morning. I'll show you guys.

I got a text this morning saying, don't worry about it, big fan, because I had signed my name at the bottom. What do you think about that?

Total lie. None of that stuff happened. None of that stuff happened. That's easy to do. You just ramble and ramble and let your mind wander in these little spots until you find it. That's not true. Stu Gatz, that was a lie. Lie, lie, lie.

I believe that. I'd love to hear him whistle in general, but I do believe that he can't. He's having a tough whistle day. I guess he's having a tough whistle day. I don't know how privileged you have to be for whistling to be the hiccup of the day where that's the only issue you have. Most people are going to their second job in the afternoon just to pay rent. This guy's having a tough whistle day.

Huff whistle day.

Poorly. No, you did good. You did good.

A hat. I mean, judging by what I think I know about this gentleman, his grandmother died 20 years ago. I mean, this is not even like a remotely believable lie. How old is this man? How old is he?

Yeah, 50. My grandmother's still alive? His grandma died in 96. Multiple times. What are you talking about? Yeah. Look, all of our grandmothers have been dead multiple times, but you can't use it when you're in your 50s. That's way gone. You could have said, if he really wanted it believable, he should have said, my mom isn't doing well. My mother. You can't do grandmother work.

when you're in your 50s. I believe that. Not at all. Stugatz, that's bad. And also, his name was selected. I don't believe that for a heartbeat, that it just so happens that his name was selected out of all these people. Where does he sit when he sits, Dan? Is this a first-class guy? Is he only in first class? Yes, he's only in first class. Yes. Again, another lie of privilege.

They're not taking off the first class guy. They go for the easy shot. They go for the guy in 38C who's cramped between someone eating an egg salad sandwich and a child that his diaper hasn't been changed in three days. They go for that poor bastard. The guy that would need to get to where he's going because he's got something important. Not for old first class stugats. I believe it. Not at all.

Yeah, well, look, I went on tour for two years with Bobby Lee, so I had to stare at Bobby Lee in his underwear for two years on a tour bus. So I think I'm owed a little bit from the universe for giving this love of comedy around the world. And so after two years of touring and I shot my special that's going to come out on Hulu in September with Peyton Manning's company, Omaha Productions.

Another bad lie.

Yeah, it is. Oh, look, I mean, my approach to this whole thing was very obvious that I am a golf nut. I always have been. And part of this push is, you know, I didn't grow up country club lifestyle. I had to learn golf on public courses like everybody else did.

and then when i slowly got into the hollywood world i was able to play more exclusive courses that i never got a chance to when i was young so i'm trying to bridge this gap between people that played golf their whole life and kind of were a little bit you know more privileged to it and the average golfer i'm genuinely an average golfer and so

To me, I think I'm trying to bring these worlds together and show this lightheartedness and this other side of those that like golf and bridge this gap between people think it's just for the ultra-rich or wealthy, which is not true. I mean, golf is more popular than ever for anybody. It's not an overwhelmingly expensive sport to play. You can play it for quite cheap.

Nowadays, you can get a cheap set of clubs and you can go play a knock-around public course. I would say more accessible than it's ever been. And I do think more people got into it because of the pandemic, and it created another sense of community and a way to get away with your friends, have a cocktail outside and goof off for a couple hours.

Because as we get older, we lose all of our friendships, and it's nice to hold on to something, and this is a way I like to do it. So that's my push. That's my two cents. Ball market. Check it. Clean it. Put it back.

Yeah. Well, I'll say I'm upset with the way that the world feels right now. I think everyone is... I think everything feels a little heavy. I said that to a friend last night. Everything feels a little upside down. I'm hoping that we turn this thing around, meaning not we, but the government stops hemorrhaging and people can settle a little bit. So we feel like...

everything is in a collapse but hollywood is collapsing in front of my face you know that's why i'm making my own stuff so much that's why bad friends was created that's why no bad lies was created because i was like i want to make my own stuff i don't want to wait for the gatekeepers who don't really want us anymore anyway to tell me what i can and can't do i'd rather make stuff my own way with my team my production my people and that way you know we get to put out to the world something that we enjoy that we love to make people feel good

in crappy times, you know what I mean? During when people are kind of unsure of the future, you know?

Shout out to them. I wanted to take some time and I had pitched this golf show. I said, you know, I want to do this one whole walk and talk with celebrities, athletes, golfers called No Bad Lies. And I give them deliberately bad lies and all the while they tell me a time where life gave them a bad lie and how they recovered.

That was my high school. Easy to be the big man on campus when your college is the size of my high school. He was probably the only guy that was loud and annoying enough for everybody to know who he was. That's all that is. That's like me thinking I was funny when I was young. I was just stupid and annoying. Teachers are like, he's not funny. We're scared that he's slow.

We're scared he's not going to have a future. So everyone laughs at him. They're not laughing with him. They're they're nervous. They're nervous. He's not going to make it in the real world. I'm just lucky.

All right.

Yeah, it's available now and it's on my YouTube. So if you go to my YouTube, it's on there as well. And it's all over the place. And the first two episodes are up and it's every Wednesday for the next, who knows, the next 20 or 30 weeks, something like that. So please check it out.

No, I like it. I bet he's regretting not wearing a bra today, but I think you're doing a good job. Let's go high knees. Let's get those knees a little bit higher. Okay, you got it. A little bit higher. What about the skinny jeans? Now let's see him in the frame. I can't see the knees. Let me see those skinny jeans. Jump a little bit. Can you jump? You want it like this? Is this good?

Yeah, that looks really good. You're looking good, man. High knees, just a couple high knees. Let's hit me with the Peloton. Go ahead, hit me with the Reed.

uh... and uh... it was it was uh... raised by many people in the business they thought oh that's a great idea and i said i'm gonna do it so the first two episodes are out right now with cam smith and john rom i'll give you a couple sneaky names that are going to be on the show you know charlie day michelle we michael phelps we've got a a host of people not just uh... you know golfers but also athletes and celebrities and uh...

Stop for one second. Stop for one second. Buddy, buddy, buddy. We got to get you on cardio. You got to get it. That's insane. That was you. You did like a fake run for one solid one point three minutes. You don't know how long you're on a breath. I was. Yeah. You ever hit the stairs or is it elevator only? Is it only elevator for you?

So it takes us right up. There's no chance you hit the stairs. Yeah, I know. I want to see you start hitting the stairs, my guy. You got it. Dashay, hit the stairs. Yeah, you got it. I love you.

I love you. I care about you.

Let me see. Put your hand to your neck real fast.

250, 220?

Take us home with this segment, Tashay. I think you've got this. Let's jog a little bit slower so you're not running out of breath while you give your last take, okay? And go.

That's way too slow, buddy. That's way too slow. Just, there it is. A little light jog. What girls do when they go to the gym. That's it. When they actually don't work out. That's what you're doing. There it is. All right.

Whoa. Yeah. Whoa. Very good segment, dude. And I believe everything that you said.

Bye, boys. I'll see you. Thank you, guys.

A few sneaky ones that are pretty impressive that I will say will come out later in the season. But yes, it's a way for me to play golf. So what, Dan?

No, no. The depth of the show is that. I like this philosophical tie-in of golf is like life, that it's going to give you a lot of bad lies. A lot of people go through a divorce, a loss.

uh... you know tragic things happen in our lives are just small hiccups they don't have to be traumatic but uh... just like a golf you have to find a way to recover and i just i i'd like this philosophy i'd like this you know it's not that comedic sometimes but by just i'd like that world of How do you recover in life? We're all put in bad situations, and how do you get out of it?

We've had some funny stories. We've had some heartfelt stories. I'm excited for people to see the rest of the season. It gets really good, and it's funny. All the while, I'm goofing and taking shots at myself, and it's also nice to see me take shots at professional golfers who have to be kind of tied up all the time.

No, it wasn't the loss. No, I just been on tour for so long. I'm trying to make money. I'm not like you. I don't have a big fancy studio with 19 employees that you can yell at and lash out whenever things aren't going your way. And whenever a bit isn't going right, I hear you in the headphones just ruining these people's egos. I mean, it's unbelievable. I mean, look what you did to Wah.

You think Wah's going to go home tonight and feel good about this? He's going to sit in his kitchen and eat cold soup like he does at night. And this is going to hurt. This is going to hurt, Wah. Nod your head if this is hurting. This hurts, Wah. He can't even nod his head because of this neck brace you've got him in, both physically and metaphorically.

Wah, if you need help getting out of there, can you close your fist? Can you close your fist like this? Put your thumb in your fist? Yeah, do it with the glove. Thank you, Wah. Very good. You know what, Dan? You know what, Dan? I get it. He does take direction well. I see what you're doing with him. This makes sense. Yeah. Fantastic.

You know, look, I like hockey. I would never claim to know a lot about it. Is the reference to, I mean, I know Patrick Wah.

I play into the bit. You give me the bit, I'm going to play into it. No, I do like hockey. I mean, look, I'm supportive of the Blackhawks. The Kane and Taves era was great. I think Bedard is one of the greatest young players I've ever seen. I think he's been dealt kind of a little bit of a tough hand, to be honest with you. People have their opinions about his attitude.

But I'm supportive of the Hawks, and I do like hockey. But, you know, basketball, baseball, and football are my – that's my – That's my trifecta. That's the upper echelon. By the way, speaking of which, I went to the Cubs game to watch them smack around the Dodgers 16 to nothing. One of the greatest games I've ever seen live in my entire life. It was incredible.

I mean, it was I was I was laughing. I was just cracking up every time we were. Every time we're adding another one.

It was just like at some point I wasn't even cheering. I was just cracking up at how embarrassing this was that the returning World Series champs are getting smacked around by a hodgepodge of guys that they thought couldn't put up a fight against them in the series here. It's early. I know. It's early in the season. But still, it was wonderful to watch. Wonderful to watch live. Go Cubs go.

Well, Jeremy Taché. Yeah, that's right.

uh when you were in that two shot here with him right when you said we're not that good at being a yes and show he did this that's like the number one rule you don't do you jeremy that's the opportunity for you to go see there you go that's opportunity for you to go yes we are bad and i'll tell you why and then you go into why you guys are so bad why you don't deserve your job that's where it gets funny no i'll never admit i'm wrong no absolutely not

You'll never admit you're wrong? No. I've learned at the teeth of Mike Ryan.

Please. Let me interview Tashae real fast. Tashae, where are you from? I'm from down here in South Florida. Stuttered. He stuttered right away. He got nervous. He thought about it. He was going to say what local area he's actually from. Then he did this like broad regional encompassing South Florida. He didn't want me to take a shot at the neighborhood. Where is it? Where are you from from, Tashae?

There we are.

Oh, sure. So upper middle class from outside of Fort Lauderdale. And dad did what for a living?

You look like a kid of a financial advisor. I know I do. The way you hold yourself. The way you hold your shoulders looks like a kid whose dad, you know, was earning really good coin. Was mom stay at home, Tashay?

Yeah, she stayed at home. This kid got, you know what's so funny about this guy? Wah, turn around real fast. Look at this guy and stare at him this whole segment. Tashae is the kind of guy whose mom had food ready when he got home with his friends after school. She cut the crust off all his sandwiches. Tashae never had dirt on his shoes. He always walked in the middle of the road.

And when anybody was doing something up to no good, he'd go, guys, I don't think that's a good idea. That's Tashae. Oh, that's the most accurate thing you could have said the whole time. He does that. He is unbelievable. I can feel this guy. I can feel this guy from a mile. I can feel him through the computer. Tash, I can't wait to meet you when I come down there. I love you.

I'm just having fun with you. I love you, too. No, this is great.

I don't. You will once you meet me.

Where'd you go to college? How about that, Dan? Where'd he go to college, Tash?

A little bit more. I got to tell you, that grew on me just a little bit. That grew on me just a little bit. I got a little bit of love for you there. UCF is good. Good for you. OK, we'll take that. And then can I guess out of three? I'm going to give three guesses and I'll be done. Three cars that I think you might drive. Let me get the camera on one more time.

Yeah, I want to get what I think he might drive in three guesses.

Okay, I'm going to guess. For fun, I'm going to say a Mini Cooper. Could you seem like that kind of guy? A little cutesy-pootsy parking around a Mini Cooper? Oh, man, I love the Mini Cooper. Well, it seems like it's easy to parallel.

Hold on. Hold on. Don't say it. Three guesses. Just Mini Cooper is number one. Number two, I would say is a, it's something humble, something in the realm of like a Honda Accord, something reliable, humble, something in that regard, because that gets you to, and then I would say, I would say you're, oh, so, oh, well then, you know what you are, Teche? You're in the Hyundai world.

You're a Hyundai driver, you like Hyundai, and based on your look, I'm going to guess it's that town in down south Arizona. You're a Tucson.

Oh, my God. You would have gotten there eventually, man.

I love Tashae, I'll see you when I'm down in Miami. I really do. Bring Wah along for the ride as well.

Es klingt so schmutzig, aber es gibt etwas anderes. Es gibt eine Liebe, die so real ist, dass die Komödie so lustig macht. Ich glaube wirklich, das ist das Geheimnis. Wann immer es eine tolle Komödie-Duo gab, oder ein Duo von was auch immer, Musik oder Aktivität oder Performance oder was auch immer, wenn es ein Paar gab, Es gibt etwas so tiefes, das über das, was du tust, hinausgeht.

Das ist das, was es gut macht. Es ist nicht mal das Ding. Es ist nicht mal die Komödie. Es ist das Liebe oder das Ding, das wir für einander haben, dieses internen Verlust einer anderen Seele. Es ist etwas, was das Ding besser machen kann. Es ist verrückt, wenn du ein gutes Duo siehst, wie, weißt du, meine Großmutter, Rest in Peace, liebte Skate, liebte Skate.

Und sie sprach über die Beziehungen dieser Skater und all diese Sachen. Und ich war nicht daran interessiert, als Kind. Aber als ich älter wurde und ich verstanden habe, als es eine echte tiefe Verbindung gab, außerhalb des Skates, für diese beiden Leute. Das ist, weshalb sie die besten waren. Etwas war da. Und es musste nicht, es kann platonisch sein.

Ich sage nicht, dass es romantisch ist, aber etwas anderes.

Es ist klar romantisch. Das ist romantisch. Ich meine, es ist offensichtlich. Und wir haben nie zusammen geschlafen, weil wir wollen, dass das Show weitergeht. Ich fühle mich, wenn wir zusammen schlafen. Es würde alles zerstören.

Du nimmst nicht dein Pen in die Firma Ink, und wir sind sehr gut darüber. Ich glaube, wir haben etwas, das ich nicht mit jemand anderem beschreiben kann. Ich habe wirklich tiefe Verbindungen mit anderen Leuten, in einer anderen Art und Weise, komisch gesagt, aber nicht wie ich mit diesem Kind.

Ich kann nicht auf der Straße laufen, ohne jemanden vor den Augen zu schlagen und zu schreien, ich bin Bobby-Mama. Das passiert täglich. Es ist eine Gnade und eine Verzeihung. Es ist eine Gnade und eine Verzeihung. Eine Gnade, wenn ich in gutem Mood bin. Eine Verzeihung, wenn ich mit meiner Frau zu Abend bin. Schwierig. Schwierig zu schreien in einem Restaurant.

Ja, ich meine, ich denke, es ist definitiv ein Stück von dem, wer ich bin, sicher. Das ist, warum ich so bin, wie ich bin. Aber ich... ohne therapeutisch zu werden. Es ist so, dass ich darauf lachen muss, oder darüber lachen muss, oder darüber lachen muss, weil die Zeit passiert ist. Es ist vorbei. Ich bin 41 Jahre alt. Du bist ein Alter. Ja, ich bin zu alt, um wirklich darüber zu lamentieren.

Ich weiß, dass das vielleicht ein Therapeut sagen würde, das ist wahrscheinlich schlecht, Ich weiß nicht, es gibt keinen anderen Weg, das zu tun. Ich bin zu wach. Du kannst nicht immer nach hinten schauen. Es ist eine seltsame Sache, das als Teil meiner Geschichte zu haben. Aber ich wurde als Kind nie getötet. Ich wurde nie verabschiedet. Also war es okay. Ich hatte nur einen Vater im Gefängnis.

Weißt du, was ich meine? Mein Leben war eigentlich okay. Meine Mutter hat sich wieder verheiratet. I had a great stepdad. It wasn't that bad. So that's why I kind of, I say that I joke about it because it's, it is what it is. I don't know. I can't like sit there and be like, you know, this is why that I'm XYZ because my dad was in prison. It's like, no, it was a crappy time and you grow out of it.

And then you have to utilize it Für den Guten, glaube ich.

Ja, das mache ich. Ich mache ein bisschen eine Erklärung dazu. Ich denke, ich habe in einer Interview darüber gesprochen, dass meine Mutter und ich in subsidisiertes Haus wohnen. Das ist wahr, aber sie machen es so, als würde es klingen. Für einen Grund denke ich, dass Menschen, Selbst die Zuschauer werden jetzt wahrscheinlich sagen, Section 8.

Sie haben diese ziemlich schreckliche Sicht in ihrer Meinung darüber, was das ist. Jedes neue Gebäude, das überall gebaut wird, muss Section 8 haben. Ich lebte gerade hier in West-Hollywood. Wir hatten Section 8. Du musst subsidisiertes Gebäude haben, wenn du ein neues Gebäude bauen willst. Also lebten wir in einem schönen Bereich von Chicago, als ich ein Kind war.

Aber ja, weil ich eine single Mutter hatte, waren wir in subsidisiertem Renten, weil sie es nicht erlauben konnte. Also kam ich nie von... Ich habe nicht irgendwelche unglaublichen Rags für die Mehrheit. Ich habe, weißt du, Target für die Mehrheit. Weißt du, was ich meine? Ich habe Baseline, weißt du, was ich meine? Reguläre Americana.

Und ich mache es, es schlägt mir oft an, dass es ein bisschen verrückt ist, dass ich glücklich genug war, Ich weiß nicht, diese Karriere, weil ja, ich hatte keine, du weißt, es gibt kein Nepotismus mit mir, leider. Ich hatte keinen reichen Onkel hier draußen. Ich hatte keine, du weißt, es gab keine Verbindung mit dem Geschäft.

That's tough to hear when you're just trying to have sushi.

Ich habe das, du weißt, im Grunde genommen auf meiner eigenen Seite gemacht. Ich bin hier rausgekommen und habe bis ich endlich einen Schlag bekommen. Das ist, ja, es überrascht mich nicht, dass das verrückt ist. Es ist verrückt.

Ich meine, die Geschichte geht so. Ich bin hierher geflogen, nachdem ich nach Harvard im Westen war. Ich bin nach Arizona State geflogen. Das größte Institution in der Wüste. Und nachdem ich geflogen bin, hatte ich viele Freunde, die Kalifornierinnen waren. Und sie haben mich überzeugt, in Kalifornien zu gehen, weil es sowohl das als auch New York war.

Und ich war so, ich will einfach nur im Sonnenschein bleiben. Weil wenn ich nach Osten zurückgehe, habe ich Angst, dass ich nach Chicago zurückgehe. Und das war einfach zu... Ich wollte einfach sterben. Es war entweder, du weißt, sinken oder schwimmen. Also... Du wusstest das damals. 100 Prozent. Du wusstest, ich werde... Also, und wie lange gibst du dir selbst? Oh, unabhängig.

Das war alles, was ich tun konnte. Ich bin zu dumm, etwas zu tun. Ich meine, ich konnte nicht... Ich weiß gar nicht, wer mich hiren würde. Ich hatte, du weißt, einen Journalismus-Begrenzen. Ich glaube, ich habe in Englisch minoriert. Ich muss sagen, ich glaube, weil ich mich gar nicht erinnere, Das ist wirklich das, was ich gemacht habe.

Als ich ein Kind war, liebte ich Unterhaltung. Ich war besessen. Mein Freund Sean und ich sitzen in meiner Moms Zimmer und schauen, weißt du, dumm und dumm, und wir wehren die VHS raus. Wir wehren die Szenen, die wir so viel liebten, dass es skippiert würde. Ich weiß nicht, ob du dich erinnerst. Ich meine, es würde wirklich blöden, weil du die Tape von der Spinnung zurückverlustet hast.

Ich meine, wir würden das machen. Ich meine, das war mein ganzes Leben, Comedy-Entertainment-Filme zu sehen. Und ich bin ein 80er-Jähriger, also... Ich war richtig im Herzen von lustigem, großartigem, kommerziellen, breiten Comedy.

Beverly Hills Cop, Eddie Murphy. Ich meine, das war einer der größten... Als ich das sah, war ich so, du kannst ein Goofball sein. und eine Karikatur zu sein und dann noch in einem Film zu spielen, das hat mich überrascht. Er war so scharf und schmutzig und so cool, aber auch so lustig. Das war mein Fouret. Beverly Hills Cop war einer meiner Lieblingsfilme.

Und dann kam ich zu den hartfelligen Sachen wie Big. Ich und meine Mutter haben immer Big gesehen. Ich liebe Big. Und ich dachte, das ist lustig und süß. Und es hat sich nicht so ernst genommen. Das ist mein Ton von Komödie. Ich bin lustig, süß, ich bin ein wenig sardinisch, ich kann sarkastisch sein, aber es nimmt sich nicht so ernst. Es ist alles eine Lüge. Es ist alles eine große Lüge.

Also, diese Art von Welt, besonders mit Jim, alles mit Jims Sachen, ich meine, alles, was Jim gemacht hat, mit dem ich als Kind besessen war, ich war einfach so, das ist das, was ich in irgendeiner Art und Weise tun möchte. Und Eddie und Jim sind Stand-Ups, du weißt, das ist das, was mich...

No, I had a secret wish. So you're funny in class? I was just a funny, loud idiot. Everyone was like, I always wanted to make lightest stuff. I always had to poke the bear. I was a terrible student. Teachers loathed me. Students liked me. It was just, I wanted to have fun. I hated school. I hated school. I wanted to have fun. This was like a waste of time to me. It was like, why can't we have fun?

What is all this for? Ich stimme trotzdem zu. Die meiste Zeit frage ich mich, wofür ist all diese Scheiße? Willst du Spaß haben? Sollte das Leben Spaß sein? Es wird so schnell gemacht werden. I just wanted to have a good time. So yes, I was a terrible student. I went out to Arizona. Back then there was the Tempe Improv. That was the only, pretty much the only comedy club in the area.

There was a couple, you know, there was like open mic-y stuff. So in college I started to get the itch. I was like, I think I'm going to try it. I barely told anybody because I was scared of the embarrassment. It's embarrassing. Comedy is embarrassing. I want to be a stand-up. Really? It's an embarrassing... Es ist ein Traum.

Ein Schauspieler, für irgendeinen Grund, die Leute sagen, ja, geh' nach Hollywood, versuche es zu machen. Stand-Up-Komödie ist so ein furchtbarer... Es ist wie eine Stange auf deinem Shirt. Es ist wie, oh Gott, das ist... Ja, okay.

Es ist eine Stange auf deinem Shirt. Ja, es ist wie, oh, wirst du so herumlaufen? Ja, ich bin ein Stand-Up-Komiker. Es ist so dumm. Es ist ein dummes Traum. Aber ich liebte es, also habe ich es ruhig gehalten. Und ich habe nur ein paar Leuten gesagt, dass ich es wirklich machen wollte. Und einer meiner besten Freunde, den ich gerade wieder gesehen habe, ist immer noch einer meiner besten Freunde.

Colin ist aus der Bay und er hat gesagt, ich fahre nach Long Beach. Willst du mit mir kommen? Ich habe einen Ort, wo wir schlafen können. Ich habe diesen Mann, Lazy Boy, auf dem du bleiben kannst, bis wir einen Spot finden können. Ich sagte mir, ich mache es. Ich bin am 4. Juli geflogen. Ich bin am 4. Juli geflogen. In einem U-Haul, während die Feuerwerke losgehen. Ich bin in L.A. gefahren.

Der amerikanische Traum.

Right to a lazy boy couch in Long Beach. Perfect, man. That's the dream. Yeah, with like no money. And also my mom and my stepdad, you know, worked my whole life. My mom just retired, you know, a year ago. So we didn't come from a ton of money. Like we weren't, we weren't poor by any means. But like there wasn't this great safety net.

My parents weren't like, whatever happens, we have, you know, it was never that thing. It was like, you're going to go do your, you're going to go do this thing. Go do it. Go get a job. Geh rechnen. Unsere Familie ist immer so gewesen. Es ist sehr unterstützend, aber es gab kein finanzielles Netz. Es gab kein, du wirst okay sein, wenn du verlierst.

Oder versuchst du nur zu steigen? Das ist das, was du aus der Angst schlägst. Es war nicht, weil ich 22 Jahre alt war. Ich konnte weniger kümmern. Ich hatte keine Aspektionen von Geld und Rechten und Ehre. Ich wollte nur genug Geld machen, um Comedy zu machen, um mich zu bezahlen.

Ich dachte mir, kann ich, das ist eine alte Sache für Comics, wir sagen immer, du bist reich an Komödie und du bist wie ein Stand-Up, der es gemacht hat, wenn du rausgehen kannst und du siehst nicht, wie viel es kostet. Wenn wir in den Diner gehen können, wenn wir in die Swingers gehen können und du nicht überlegt bist, welche Mahlzeit du bekommen wirst. Das war für uns damals wie,

Ich habe das über 1.000 Mal gesagt, über alles, was ich jemals gemacht habe. Ich habe niemals etwas so lustig gemacht, wie ein Show mit Bobby. Immer. Nicht, um meinen eigenen Tusch zu schlagen, aber...

Der Kerl tut wirklich gut. Er hat keine Angst. Das ist ein 13-Dollar-Pancake. Und er hat keine Angst, wenn dieser Kerl es tötet. In unserer Meinung war das es.

Okay, dann nimmst du eine Hälfte nach Hause. Nein, aber das, was es macht, war, wenn du dich nicht um die Preise kümmerst, wenn wir nach den Dienern gehen, nach den Shows. Weil wir alle zu Swingers gehen. Swingers oder Greenblatts oder, weißt du, in den alten Tagen, wir haben die Comics vor uns gemimikt, die zu Kantern gehen. Wir gehen zu diesen alten jüdischen Delis. Da gehen wir nach den Shows.

Wir gehen alle da hin und hangen. Und wenn du nicht überlegen könntest, wie viel das Menü am Abend kostet... Wir gehen nicht in ein Steakhaus, es ist ein Diner. Aber trotzdem, wenn ich Geld und Essen bezahlen kann und nicht überlegen kann, wie viel es kostet, wenn ich in einen Diner gehe, sind wir in Ordnung. Ich bin nicht verrückt. Ich wollte nur... Kann ich vorbeikommen?

Kann ich nicht jedes Monat Angst haben? Kann ich nicht jedes Monat Angst haben? Das war der Traum. Ich fuhr nach Los Angeles. Ich fand eine Liste auf Craigslist mit UCLA-Studenten, Graduatinnen. Und ich lebte in Culver City, in einem Drei-Bett-Ein-Bad. Ein 3-Bett-Bathaus, wunderschön. Es ist tatsächlich ein 2-Bett-Bathaus, aber ich lebte in einem abgestürzten Diningraum.

Mein Licht war ein Chandelier aus einem alten Diningraum und sie haben einfach eine Tür und eine Wand aufgebaut. Also eine Wand führte zu dem, wo die vorderen Tür war, und die andere war die Küche.

Waschzimmer mit Freunden, ja. Und so habe ich, und du weißt, das war mein Leben. Ich arbeitete als PA. I got a job at a studio, making $400 a week before taxes. All of these people working here now, all of these young kids who are getting paid unbelievable money. We have people that work for us that I'm like, how much money do we pay you? You're 24 years old?

Ich denke, es ist nicht nur das Beste, was ich kreativ und komisch gemacht habe, sondern es ist auch so kulturell relevant, dass ich davon beeindruckt bin, dass ich mir denke, oh mein Gott, Leute nehmen das wirklich dazu. In einer Art und Weise, wie Martin und Louis, einer Generation, in der es ein kulturelles Duo war, das Leute liebte.

I think I made $300 a week after taxes. I was like... Anyway. And they're like, can I get reimbursement for gas? I'm like, yeah, sure. Whatever you want. What do you have, a Hummer? Yeah, I'll fill it up. Was it $300 to fill up your car? That's my entire paycheck for one week. I got a job doing that and I was a runaround all day and then stand up all night and then rinse, wash and repeat.

And it was constant. That's all you did. PA all day. Gopher. Whatever they wanted. Groceries. Cleaning up. I went to, you know, go to Beverly Hills and get your boss a tie. Drive it back by noon or you're fired. You know, it was like that... Go deliver scripts in the Hollywood Hills to movie stars without Google Maps. This is Thomas Guide. Do you know Thomas Guide?

You're just getting lost everywhere.

Du warst schlecht am Job. Oh, ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Ich hatte es nicht gut. Da ist ein Jimmy John's nahe der Haustür. Sie sind immer auf der Suche, sagt es. Ich müsste das machen. Aber ja, das war mein Leben.

Aber du warst glücklich?

Keine Worte. Nein, unglaublich glücklich. Ich hatte nie den Traum. Ich hatte nie einen Tag, an dem ich ein Star sein werde. Ich hatte nie, nie, nie das. Ich hatte einen Tag, an dem ich ein Komedian sein werde.

I'm not kidding. To this day, I feel like maybe I'm stupid that I didn't have a dream.

I did, I guess. You noticed the date. Yeah, but I moved on that date only because my girlfriend had kicked me out of her place. It was just the day she was like, get out. Because I told her when I'm moving to LA together, she threw a knife at me and I had to leave. I was like, alright, I have to go. I guess I gotta go. So it was a coincidence I was a fourth. I didn't plan it like that.

It was like, alright, I guess I'm going to LA. So I went to LA and I never had a dream. I'm not kidding. I never had the dream.

I lived there. I was still a PA after that. And then I worked a day job. I got a day job at a music industry doing like paper pusher work for them. Aber ich habe in diesem Ort zwei Jahre geblieben. Und dann habe ich ein paar Leute getroffen. Ein Kind, mit dem ich geboren bin, ist hierher geflogen. Er ist nach Columbia und Chicago gegangen.

Und er hat gesagt, hey, es gibt ein paar, du weißt, ein paar dieser Leute sind Chicago-Männer und sie beginnen, um in die 16-Inch-No-Glove-Chicago-Style-Softball-Liga in der Valley einzutreten.

Ja, 16-Inch-No-Glove, Baby, Chi-Town. Chicago-Style. Ich dachte mir, oh mein Gott, es werden viele Chicagoer da sein, das wird großartig. Ich bin da hochgegangen und habe ein paar von diesen Leuten getroffen. Ein paar von ihnen sind noch immer meine künftigen Freunde. Dann bin ich mit ihnen eingeladen und so habe ich angefangen, aus der Scheiße zu wachsen.

Und ich beginne zu erkennen, dass Leute uns so lieben, als es für uns wirklich alles war. Me and one of my best friends, if not my best friend, being immature and just having fun and saying all sorts of stuff that you want to just goof about, that you talk about with your friends in private. We just put it on the show. We were like, we don't care. Who cares? None of it is vitriol.

Ich habe mehr Leute getroffen und diese haben mich dazu geführt, mehr Leute zu treffen. Dieser Mann arbeitete für diesen Managern und dieser Mann verabschiedete sich mit dieser Frau und sie hatte eine Verbindung zu Dingen, damit sie eine Audition für einen Managern bekommen konnten. Das war das. So begann es zu wachsen. Mein Kreis begann zu wachsen und wachsen.

Und dann, weißt du, und dann landete mein erstes Gig. Ich habe ein Show für MSN gemacht. Als du ein PC gekauft hast, waren wir auf der Hauptseite msn.com. Und so habe ich für sie ein Show gemacht, das war wie ein wöchentliches Web-Update-Show, für das ich gerade ausgestattet habe und irgendwie gelandet habe. Und es war wie ein wöchentliches Hosting-Show.

Und ich konnte meinen Tagsjob aus dem machen und nur Komödie machen. Vollzeit. Es hat mein Leben verändert. Das war bis heute einer der glücklichsten Momente meines Lebens. Ich habe das Telefon aufgehängt, ich bin vier Streifen auf die Strasse gegangen und bin nur zwei Meilen nach Osten auf Wiltshire gefahren. Ich bin einfach nach Osten gegangen. Ich war so aufgeregt. Es war Forrest Gump.

Ich war auf dem Weg. Ich wollte einfach gehen. Es war so, als ob all das in mir drin war. Es war so, als ob es von mir aus explodiert wäre. Was für eine tolle Geschichte. Es war einer der glücklichsten Momente, die ich in meinem ganzen Leben erlebt habe. Ich bin nach Osten gegangen, auf Wiltshire, bis ich einfach zurückgekommen bin.

Und dann bin ich zurück in mein Büro gegangen und habe meinem Boss, der damals rad war, gesagt, ich habe diesen Job bekommen und ich werde aufhören. Ich kann endlich Comedy machen. All die Zeit. Und sie waren glücklich für mich. Sie wussten, dass ich das wirklich wollte. Das war der Anfang von dem, dass ich meine Karten und Rente bezahlen konnte, ohne einen Tagesjob zu haben.

It was still a day job.

Yeah. Finally. Finally. I mean, that was the most relieving. Because you don't know how long you're... You're like, how long will this last? How long do I want to do a day job and then work comedy at night? And for many people, that's still a reality. I'm blessed that I didn't have to at some point. Many people still work jobs.

I landed the first job in 20... 11 oder 12 Jahre, also sechs oder sieben Jahre, bis ich hier gelebt habe. Du hast hier gearbeitet, oder? Ja, ich meine, es gibt keinen anderen Weg, das zu sagen. Es ist nicht so, dass du weißt, ja, Mama und Papa haben das nicht gemacht. Ich hatte nie eine Kreditkarte. Ich hatte nie das.

Ich war immer sehr stolz darauf, bis später in der Leben, als ich erkannt habe, dass es eine Art Glück war, dass meine Eltern sehr so waren, dass du alles auf deinem eigenen Weg machen musstest. Aber ich habe Leute gesehen, die können gehen, um zu essen oder zu trinken, wenn wir in die Bar gehen und sie haben eine Kreditkarte mitgebracht, die ich wusste, war nicht ihres.

Und ich war so, Mann, ich bin so stolz darauf. Weil ich habe 37 Dollar bis Dienstag. Das war immer das. Es war nicht schrecklich, aber es gab Nachts, an denen ich überrascht war, weil ich dachte, Mann, was, wenn ich meine Mutter für 100 Dollar fragen muss? Ich wollte es einfach nicht. Aber glücklicherweise musste ich es nie. Danke Gott.

Ich weiß nicht, warum oder wie es funktioniert hat, aber ich musste nie sagen, hey, kannst du mir Geld schicken? Aber es gab Nachts, wo ich, weißt du, ich war die ganze Nacht auf, schlafe auf meinem Kühlschrank auf dem Boden, weißt du, ohne eine Schnauze oder eine Schnauze, dass ich dachte, muss ich jemandem Geld bezahlen oder Plasma bezahlen?

Oder wie, wie werde ich noch ein paar mehr Franken bekommen? Ein leuchtendes Licht war wirklich, als ich zurück nach Long Beach ging, war mein Freund Dan mit einer Frau verheiratet, die an der Queen Mary arbeitete. Und sie brauchten einen Halbzeit-Comedian. Und So habe ich 100 Dollar für die Show bezahlt. Das hat mich wirklich durchgezogen.

Also habe ich ein paar hundert Dollar am Wochenende bezahlt, als Halbzeit-Dinner-Theater-Präsident. Und wenn es nicht für diese Arbeit gewesen wäre, hätte ich wahrscheinlich meine Mutter und Vater angerufen. Oh wow, das war so nah. Oh mein Gott, ja, das war unglaublich. Es war etwas, wiederum. Etwas im Universum gab mir ein Geschenk. Das war ein absoluter Geschenk in meine Klappe.

Ich konnte nicht glauben, dass es funktioniert hat. Bis heute ist es so seltsam für mich. Ich dachte mir, wie habe ich mit diesem Job endet? Also fahre ich nach Long Beach jeden Wochenende, am Freitag und am Samstagabend und mache das Show. Und dann komme ich zurück und mache die Komödie die ganze Woche und dann mache ich es wieder, nur um genug Geld zu machen, um weiterzugehen.

Es hat mich wirklich gerettet, weil ich nicht konnte, weißt du, ich hatte Angst vor Renten. Renten war 4,25 Euro damals.

425 was rent and I was like, man, how do I make rent? So if it weren't for the boat, I probably wouldn't have been able to. If it weren't for that Queen Mary, that beautiful boat lodged in the harbor. I don't know if you've ever been. No. It's interesting. It's a docked boat that was one of the Queen Marys. Interesting. It's a hotel now. It's a hotel. It's, you know.

None of it has come from a bad place. It's all from love. So it just kind of dismantles any sort of Kritik. Ich meine, wir haben sicher einige bekommen, aber wir interessieren uns einfach nicht. Ich denke, wir interessieren uns einfach nicht. Ich interessiere mich nicht wirklich. Es ist ein Comedy-Show. Es ist alles Fake.

I don't want to talk bad about it. It was fun.

Well, it's interesting. Ich habe in meinem Leben ein Verzweifeln von Rechten gehabt. Es gibt Momente, in denen ich sogar überrascht bin, dass ich ein Teil davon war. Aber ich habe es nicht zu sagen, aber nichts hat sich so gefühlt. Das macht Sinn. Es ist ein bisschen verrückt.

Nichts hat sich so gefühlt, wo ich mit Pete Farrelly gearbeitet habe, der ein Heroin von mir war als Kind, wie ein Film mit Pete, ein Telefonanruf von Pete Farrelly, um einen Film zu machen, um Ricky Sinicki mit Cena und Efron zu machen. I will sit down while I'm having coffee. And it does hit you. You're like, I cannot believe this is my life. I'm so blessed. This is like crazy.

I can't believe I'm getting to do these things. So those feel so incredible. But nothing felt like what when I got to quit my job felt like. Weil ich fühlte, als ob mir etwas eine Chance gegeben hätte. Es war so, okay, aber jetzt musst du die Arbeit einbringen.

Ich würde sagen, für Leute, die hören, die junge Stand-Ups sind oder junge Leute, die arbeiten wollen oder in das Geschäft gehen wollen, es hat sich niemals, niemals einfacher gemacht. Also hoffe ich, dass sie das wissen. Es ist nicht so, weil ich diesen Job bekommen habe, war alles okay.

denn dann hattest du es viel schwieriger, nicht nur diesen Job zu behalten, sondern einen anderen Job zu bekommen. Und dann, wenn du diesen Job bekommst, musst du bestätigen, dass du es wert war, dass sie dich wieder riskieren, für den einen kleinen Job, den du gemacht hast. Und dann, wenn du das tust, musst du wirklich etwas im Tank haben für den nächsten Job. Also, die Druck war nie auf.

Ich bin 41 Jahre alt und ich fühle mich immer noch so, dass ich jeden Job, den ich mache, besser machen muss.

Total. Nein, es gibt ein Stück von mir, das es nicht genießt, es so viel wie ich es möchte. Das ist einfach die echte Wahrheit, weil es viel ist. Ich balanciere zwei Shows, eine Stand-Up-Karriere, ich mache eine neue Stunde. Wir haben ein animiertes Show verkauft. Wir verkaufen ein anderes TV-Show, das wir gerade ausbauen, das wir bereits in Produktion mit haben.

Also ja, ich habe viel auf meiner Platte und stelle und stelle und stelle. Und es gibt andere Dinge, die ich auf der Seite tue, die ich wirklich viel genieße. Ich stelle In der nächsten Phase meiner Karriere im nächsten Jahr werde ich viel im Golf-Bereich bauen. Wir planen, mit einigen Sachen rauszukommen, weil ich ein schmerzhafter Golfler bin. Und ich dachte, das ist wirklich, wer ich bin.

Und es gibt nicht viel Komödie im Golf-Bereich. Ich meine, wir werden sehen, was passiert.

Es ist seltsam. Ich verstehe es nicht. Nun, es ist ein schwerer Risiko, weil ich nicht weiß, ob... Everybody who likes sports may not like comedy, but everybody who likes comedy probably likes sports. Do you know what I mean? I would imagine there's a lot of people that are diehard sports fans that are not really into comedy.

But I do think everyone who likes comedy, who has that kind of lust for life, you probably like sports. I just assume. Das ist Peyton Mannings Firma, Omaha produziert mein Special nächstes Jahr, was unglaublich ist. Und wegen dessen, ich, Teil davon war, weil ich mehr in den Sportraum wollte, in den Sport-Comedy-Bereich. Und wir starten dieses Golf, dieses kleine Golfprojekt, das wir arbeiten.

Und das hat mir viel Zeit genommen, aber es ist, was ich, Das ist das, was ich jetzt wirklich machen will. Ich will mehr in dieser Welt sein, denn das ist auch, wer ich bin. Und ich spreche genug darüber auf den Shows, aber ich will es machen. Ich will tatsächlich eine neue Linie schaffen, die ich liebe. Anstatt zu versuchen, zu finden, was die nächste Sache ist. Aber dieser ist so, ich liebe das.

Ich sollte das einfach probieren. Wenn es nicht funktioniert, dann funktioniert es. Wer weiß. Du bist auf Golf gewöhnt, oder? Es ist schlecht, ja. Ich bin ein Anarchist. Ich bin ein Anarchist. Ich bin gestern in San Diego gegangen und bin gestern Abend zurückgekehrt. Und dann musste ich gestern Abend arbeiten. Es ist schlecht. Ich habe eine Krankheit.

Du bist auch sehr gut. Ich bin in Ordnung, ja.

No, no. We text, he's a buddy, we text, yeah.

The sports thing blows my mind, because as a... Ich bin ein riesengroßer Kubs-Fan, als Kind konnte ich... Das erste Pitch war cool, ich sage nichts schlecht darüber, es ist nur, dass ein lokaler Sicherheitsagent es auch manchmal macht. Aber zu mir singt das siebte Strecke bei Wrigley... Mein Vater... Ich habe meinem Vater das E-Mail von den Kubs gesendet und...

Und er war so, oh mein Gott, Mann, du hast es endlich geschafft. All das, was du gemacht hast, er war so, das ist es. Für mich war das einer der besten Momente meines gesamten Lebens. Und zu haben, dass meine Familie da war, war einer dieser Momente. Das ist ein bisschen wie Wiltshire runtergegangen. Yeah, that's how many others... And that wasn't a reward of the business.

I mean, it was a gift because of my work in the business, but that felt like running on Wilshire. Having my family afterwards, having drinks, being able to take my family to this thing, have fun with them, have them see me do this thing. That was, yeah, that's monumental.

I don't think so.

Es wird... Und vor diesem kleinen Wurf, den ich in meiner Karriere hatte... Ich würde sagen, Dave hat da auch geholfen.