Andrew Klavan

The waiter asks us if we want something to drink, but he's wearing the Star of David.

So I'm like, I ain't about to drink no poisons lemonade from you, you Mossad agent.

So anyway, I almost die again from Israeli lemonade poisoning.

And Erica is like, I'll just have some water, please, which is obviously code for you better kill this bitch right now.

Am I right?

So we talk and we talk and she tells me I'm acting crazy or whatever.

So I asked her to show me pictures of her of when she was younger.

And she's like, why?

So I'm like, oh, my God, she doesn't have it.

Any.

So I just discovered she's actually a man.

And I'm now talking to this man who is probably an Israeli spy sent here to kill me.

So I just I get up.

I go to the bathroom.

I dig a hole under the shitter like El Chapo.

And I finally made it back to tell you guys the story and get paid millions by YouTube to keep you guys stupid and against Trump and Turning Point.

Because I'm just a piece of shit like that.

Anyway, thank you for your views, retards.

But I'm starting to think that the assassination of Charlie Kirk was something akin to a regicide, right?

The assassination of a king to install a new ruler who the king would have never approved of.