André Duqum

What you're speaking to also, which is like kind of letting go of it and understanding that that's a powerful way to live, but perhaps a more powerful way to live is to also release the unending need for improvement and to be in the deeper state of gratitude and appreciation.

Life has this illusion of continuity.

Like for example, a lot of these lights that are around us are actually flickering maybe hundreds of times per second, but because it's so fast, so rapid, we're not aware to the degree that it's actually not a full continuous light source.

And similarly within our experience of life,

we have this experience of being a solid self moving through solid space and time.

And as you deepen from anapana to vipassana, you're starting to really experience that illusoriness.

Yeah, you get a really clear, like,

it just sort of jumps you into what's true.

It's just like, here's the shock of reality.

You're not this still, static thing.

You're actually just composed.

It's a composition of all of these forces coming together.

And I think it's really... I'm so grateful.

I think that's been one of my...

biggest points of gratitude is understanding that my identity isn't static and being able to feel the dynamism of it, to be able to feel like, you know, my body has a rushing river of atoms and really clearly feel that, you know, which one of these atoms is me?

Like, where is the focal point of my existence if everything is arising and passing away at such incredibly rapid speeds?

And you understand that, oh, it's actually okay.

It actually is rather helpful to understand that you simultaneously exist and you don't exist.

And being able to live with these two truths, like Lady Sayadaw said, you know, if you say you exist, that's true.

If you say you don't exist, that's also true.