André Duqum

Yeah.

What sparked your desire to write a book about love when it's quite a, you know, filled industry?

What sparked your desire to write a book about love when it's quite a, you know, filled industry?

What sparked your desire to write a book about love when it's quite a, you know, filled industry?

Yeah, when you say that, it just brings to mind how often we drag our history and who we think somebody is and how they should show up based off of who they've been in the past in every single moment. And in that perspective, it's like we're not actually even engaging with somebody who, as they are in the moment, we're engaging with how we want them to be, how we expect them to be.

Yeah, when you say that, it just brings to mind how often we drag our history and who we think somebody is and how they should show up based off of who they've been in the past in every single moment. And in that perspective, it's like we're not actually even engaging with somebody who, as they are in the moment, we're engaging with how we want them to be, how we expect them to be.

Yeah, when you say that, it just brings to mind how often we drag our history and who we think somebody is and how they should show up based off of who they've been in the past in every single moment. And in that perspective, it's like we're not actually even engaging with somebody who, as they are in the moment, we're engaging with how we want them to be, how we expect them to be.

And that like just sucks intimacy out of the equation.

And that like just sucks intimacy out of the equation.

And that like just sucks intimacy out of the equation.

That's not a good way to live. Yeah. And it's why I'm so glad we started this whole conversation talking about the developing of awareness because to the degree that we do that is to the degree we can actually be present with somebody and not just our projections of them.

That's not a good way to live. Yeah. And it's why I'm so glad we started this whole conversation talking about the developing of awareness because to the degree that we do that is to the degree we can actually be present with somebody and not just our projections of them.

That's not a good way to live. Yeah. And it's why I'm so glad we started this whole conversation talking about the developing of awareness because to the degree that we do that is to the degree we can actually be present with somebody and not just our projections of them.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

Yeah, I love that section in your book when you reflect on arguments, because it's something that I've thought of many times as well, where often we're under the presumption whenever arguments arise in particularly the romantic relationships, but also any conversation where we have differing opinions, we feel like it's me versus you, and we're trying to win instead of trying to understand.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

And shifting that perspective, instead of me versus you, it's us versus the problem.

The guest we had on last week, Peter Krohn, he has a saying that being right is the poor man's version of self-worth. Oh man, that's a good one. Yeah. And it really does feel like oftentimes... Like, we're not trying to get to the objective truth of something. We're trying to just be right in our perspective.