Andy Stump
Appearances
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. Welcome back. I'm going to open right up with this. Today's episode is not a feel good episode. This is a heavy topic. It's a dark topic and it's real. It is more pervasive than I think a lot of people would care to even imagine. We're going to be talking about abuse, specifically sexual abuse of a young man.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Let's not forget the suitcases and duffel bags full of trauma from your childhood.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Eric Thomas. Will you pull up his YouTube channel, Michael? I just want to see what it looks like. Dude. I want to see what this guy looks like. He is fucking electric.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
How do I look? Oh, yeah. There's only one answer for anybody listening to this. It doesn't fucking matter what they look like. You look fantastic is the answer.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And so there's only one way to describe the situation that you were in. You were wallowing in your own self-pity.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
PhD, critically acclaimed author, world-renowned speaker. Hit the more button, if you would, Michael, up a little bit. PhD is a critically acclaimed author, world-renowned speaker, educator, and pastor. ET, as he is better known, has taken the world by storm with his creative style and high-energy messages. So there's booking, contact information. Okay, cool. All right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
There's a whole ecosystem that sells that as the path of success.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yes. Let's be honest. Yes. The only reason that marriages survive is because women are willing to tolerate our shit.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I can't say I've ever heard of the guy, and that's why I wanted Michael to pull him up. And how long has he been at this, do you think?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And all they wish, at least in my personal experience, would have been for you to say, I need help.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Literally. I have, you know, it's funny. I've never been turned down a single time in my life when I've asked for help. Yeah. I've been shocked every time about how willing people are to provide it. Human beings have a lot of skills. I am not aware of anybody who has the ability to read minds. Right. Even though they will sell you that on the internet or on tarot cards. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Um, or in crystal salesmen or whatever the fuck it may be. Yeah. Nobody knows what's going on behind the mask.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And so everybody probably has those to a degree. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe the volume isn't turned up equally on both.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But, but I think, I think most human beings are defined by their similarities, not their differences.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But you can apply that to any profession. And again, as long as you find the tool that works for you, who's to say what is right or what is wrong. I mean, that story is tough to listen to, obviously. What do you hope to achieve with your public speaking in the book?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Well, not only that, but most people can do whatever they want to in life. If they can get past the obstacles that they put in front of themselves.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Everybody wants to, Oh, I can't do this because this person did that. Dude. Yeah. Yeah. Figure out a way around it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And if I'm being totally honest and I say this based off my experience as being a buds instructor and watch people watching them for a year and a half surrender their dreams. Yeah. It's so people want to say, well, this person made me quit or that made me quit.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And it's no, you made the choice to quit because you told yourself you couldn't do anymore. And the reality is That all happened between your ears. I can't make you quit. As an instructor, I will do my best to provide the environment where you make that decision, but I can't do it for you. Yeah. And that sucks. It does.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Because that means you don't get to outsource the agency over what happens to you in life. Right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Even what you survived, right, which is horrendous and I think would break the vast majority of people, you're not responsible for what happened to you. Right. But you are responsible for what you do with it.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Please stay with me for the next 60 to 90 seconds and let me pay the bills so I can continue to bring you this podcast for free. Let's dive into today's sponsor. Ladies and gentlemen, today's sponsor is Montana Knife Company. Now, I've hosted their founder twice, Josh Smith, the youngest master bladesmith in the US, right? Overachiever. What an asshole.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Has it increased since your book came out? Well, actually, didn't this just come out? It just published December 2nd. We'll give it a little bit more time to seep. Yeah. I'll ask you in a year from now. Yeah. My suspicion is, and I've seen this a lot in people in the public speaking ecosystem. Yeah. For whatever reason, good book, bad book, it is something, it's an additional draw.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Survival is the baseline foundation. Sure. What do you do with it after that? Because, I mean, you have to survive to literally, by definition, survive. But then are you defined by what happened to you or what are you able or willing to do with that?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Again, you had to survive it to be able to get to the point to write the book about it, to work your way towards overcoming it.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And for people that I've talked to, the addition of a book will definitely, not definitely, can and most often does increase your awareness and therefore your chance to get in front of people and tell your message.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Have you ever considered jiu-jitsu is not about winning at all?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So if you're a wrestler, it's probably better to be a power top than a power bottom. Where can people find your book and where can people find you?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
You should. I mean, if you need to go to the Amazon link, which is probably going to take you to the book page, which will probably have links to the social stuff.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Not that I need to hopefully walk that out for people, but you'd be surprised if you're struggling.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
He puts so much effort into pretending like he's from the East Coast. Right. He's from Florida. Right. I don't know if any of that's true, but he's also an absolute tank.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And why soon? Like the defined soon. Well, in the grand scheme. He's sooner than you probably, but.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I was going to say the jujitsu part's awesome. The ultra marathon. I mean, if you hate yourself, go ahead.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Thank you for being willing to tell your story. It's not an easy one. So hopefully it gets easier with time and repetition.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And so I guess long, I think it has something to do with the decision. A lot of people make on the tail end. They didn't deal with it before. Right. They are layering more on top of it. And you, everybody has a breaking point. Everybody has a breaking point.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And it starts with those in leadership positions being willing to get help themselves and then taking the next step. And that is being able to talk about the impact that it had for them.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I'm not in touch with anymore. The SEAL community was drastically changing their approach to mental health as I was getting out and we're well over a decade at this point. I'm going to assume and hope that it continued in that direction.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
We were in Iowa, and he was the keynote speaker at a speech. And I had never heard him speak publicly. And he was talking about getting shot in the face by an AK. And I am sitting there listening and just thinking to myself. I am such a bitch. Yeah. The getting shot by the AK in the face was just the preamble to all the other stuff that happened to him. And I literally left that speech.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, I gave him a big hug and I gave him a New York Yankees baseball hat because why not? Twist the knife when you get the opportunity. Yeah. And just left thinking, man, we walk among just absolute legends.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
How'd you do it? Self-published, but. No, I mean, did you do, and I asked this of anybody who writes just out of curiosity, did you set a word goal for yourself? Did you write only when you were inspired? If you were inspired, would you write as much as you want? I'm just curious your process.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
They are just down the road from where I'm sitting right now. I think it's, I don't know, call it 110 miles. I know it's more than 90, but I think it's less than 120. French town, Montana, and they're actually moving and building a massive facility on the western edge of Missoula. Their knives are made in America.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But, um, Here's where I've landed on that. Nobody may give a fuck about your personal story. That doesn't mean it can't have impact on their life. So yeah, they read the book, right? And for people who are visual only, it's on the table. It's called Strength Beyond the Shadows.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
They may at the end of the day not care about you, but there might be something in there that speaks to them that can change the trajectory of their life.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And it's the same thing as when you Google how many words to a page you're going to get. And that was the worst part is then you click on one of those links and you're just down the rabbit hole even deeper. Dude.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Obviously, Montana Knife Company, the roots of the business, the roots of the founder are here in Montana. But this is a national, and I'd say at this point, a global brand. I love these knives. Check this thing out. This is the Mini Speedgoat. This thing sits in the office. It is my absolute go-to. I have one in my fanny pack. This is one of their tactical versions along the goat series as well.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I'm going to read the subtext on this cause we'll get into it. Your book is about something pretty particular. Yep. And when you say, when I hear you say her first swing at ghost writing sucked, allow me to read the subtext overcoming a childhood of trauma, neglect, and sexual abuse. Um, I don't know how you could write that without experiencing it. Yes.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
That thing is amazing. But they offer more than these two knives. So I'm going to go over real fast for those of you watching on video. We're going to take a look at their website. They have the MagnaCut SpeedGut 2.0. They have a skinning-specific knife. Not that you couldn't use it for other things, but that's its design. They have some apparel. They have this lighter. Look at all these knives.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, we're going to have to agree to disagree on that one. That's breakfast food. You can't really fuck it up. That is 100% not true.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I would point you towards the example of my middle son who one day put four eggs on the stovetop and then decided to take a shower. Yeah. Those eggs sucked.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's not one of the things people can't see. I keep a copy of all the authors that have come through. Yeah. His book is very good.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I think it needs to be to land in the way that I suspect that you want it to land.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Or are you completely broken and you have no emotional range because of it?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's weird. Cause it's almost like a, uh, God, what do they call those white masks, Michael, that the anonymous people use? It's a specific name. Guy Fawkes. Guy Fawkes. Yeah, it's just that, you know what I mean? Completely, I'm not making a reference to Guy Fawkes. It's just, it's a mask with no affect whatsoever. So it throws people off because they don't know how to read it.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Now, you'll notice that a lot of these, they are saying out of stock or coming soon. Holy cow, they have way more apparel than I actually thought here. The list of all of their blades, it's pretty expansive what they actually have to offer. I just, man, what a missed opportunity too. I just bought one of their technical jackets, really cool outer layer that said Montana Knife Company on it.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And so, because it's their tool to end the conversation. They'll give you the card and hit me up. Yeah. And then they're on to the next. If you think about it, it's actually – it's not the way that I believe people should conduct themselves. But it's the most efficient way to exit a conversation and move on to something you probably think is more important.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I hate to say what I'm about to say because it doesn't apply to everybody, but it applies to more people than I wish that it did. In my experience, when they say those things and they want to get on a call, it's a fishing expedition for them more than it is one for you. They are trying to not figure out what they have to offer you. They are trying to figure out what they can get from you.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But having said that, what Seth, my guest today is Seth Gill, what he has been able to do with that and how he has been able to shape his life through what happened to him, I think is an incredible thing. So like I said, the guest today is Seth Gill. He wrote this book, Strength Beyond the Shadows. Now, Seth himself is 82nd Airborne Combat Vet.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Or mutually beneficial? I'm trying not to be pessimistic in my answer. I don't know if people intentionally are doing it. Yeah. Knowingly and willingly. but my needle trends in that direction.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Missed opportunity to not be doing an ad read for them while wearing that thing. American-made knives. This company is badass. I know quite a few people who actually work for this organization. He's hiring people as many as he can as he continues to expand. He's bringing more jobs to the, I'll call it the greater Missoula area now because Frenchtown is on the western side of that.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
One of the most powerful tools that I learned, and I unfortunately learned way too late in life, was the ability and comfortableness to say no. Yeah, exactly. Subtraction is way more powerful than addition. I get a volume of emails every day, and some of them are like yours, where you reached out and I read your email. I'm like, this is a topic that I don't know much about.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I know that the story... is going to probably be hard for people to listen to because it's not a topic that is talked about much, which lends itself to, it needs to be talked about even more. Yeah. Right. Because if you hide things in the shadow, nobody sees them.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But I get, you know, there are PR agencies that'll reach out and, hey, have you, and so at this point I can now actually even recognize the brand because they'll say, oh, I really, I love the conversation that you had with these next two guests and your ability to, I'm like, oh my God, you guys are just cutting and pasting. And sometimes they actually do forget to cut and paste.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And so it's addressed to somebody else. Those go straight into the delete. But I'd say nine out of 10 things that are presented to me, I look at it from the exact same perspective. Time. Do I, A, do I want to do this? And it doesn't have anything to do with money. I am not a wealthy person by any stretch of the imagination. I like money as much as everybody else.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I like nice things like everybody else does. I just don't have a lot of it. Maybe one day in my life. I'm on a mission to one day have money. I'll let you know when I get there. Yeah, people think because you own a business, you're just printing money. And sometimes you are, and then you're putting it right back in the business. So it has nothing to do with the money.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Time is the most valuable thing that I have. My kids are getting older. I want to spend time with them before they completely get out of the nest. I enjoy spending time with my wife. Is what you're presenting to me interesting enough that it has equal value to those things? Yeah. Nine out of 10 times it's no. Right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's hard to say when you first start because you think nobody's ever going to ask again.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's advice from a man who has gone down the wrong path a few times. Yeah. Yeah. It's better to be on a freeway than a cul-de-sac. Let me tell you. Yeah. Yeah. You get farther down the road.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Go to montananifecompany.com and check out what they have to offer. What I'm going to tell you is this. It's hard to get one of their knives. Supply is not keeping up with demand, which is a great thing for his business. I know that they are ordering and trying to keep up with that, but they order steel like a year to two years ahead of time. So it is what it is.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
They got to, you got to, if it's anything like my experience that they got to do like a grammar pass, editing pass, they got to design it, get it time somewhere to be print. I mean, there's, there's a lot that goes into it. You don't hit send on an email and your book comes out the next day.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
If you can get one, absolutely get one. My ask to you would be is this, and I actually did this when I bought the jacket. At the end of that, in their purchasing portal, they're going to ask you, how did you find out about Montana Knife Company? Do me a favor and put down Andy Stump for Cleared Hot. That's what I did. I said that I brought myself to their website. Call that strategery.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
If you read it now, are there still some small changes that you would like to make along the way? Yes. So I have a book that's coming out in January of 2026 and I, uh, it's with the person writing the forward right now and I'm getting the blurbs and finishing it up and it's, it sucks because every time that I go back through it, it's
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Like I've read through it so many times and I've, I've handed it off to the publisher and they asked me to make changes to two chapters, which was super frustrating when I got that feedback because I was, I was like this book, I don't know if you guys know this, pretty big deal. This is the next great American novel.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And the guy was like, Hey, these two chapters are good, but you should change them. I'm like, you should go fuck yourself. And you know, I didn't say that because they're actually professionals. Right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I worked really hard on those two chapters, but every single time I sit in front of it, as I'm reading it through, I'm like, maybe I should put a, you know, I just, I don't think it'll ever get to that place where I could go from top to tail and it's just not going to be able to be changed, which sucks because you'll sit in the rest of your life looking at it.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
My final draft is due mid Feb. Yeah. And I mean, I'm almost done. I'm literally at this point. Is it the, and like taking the small stuff out and waiting for the forward and the, and the blurbs for the people that I asked for. But yeah, Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's going to be tough when you got to put that thing in the oven and just let it go, because I know there will always be something I would want to add or change.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, you can talk about it from, you know, the environment that you grew up in. I mean, obviously you knew from a young age that you were going to write it at some point in time, we got to dig into the why, you know, the what is sitting right here in front of us. I'll let you enter into the story however you want, man.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I was just going to say that the thought of being triggered when I, we all have buttons, right? Metaphorical buttons, things that can push our buttons. I'm of the belief if something pushes your buttons, though, that means you should spend some more time figuring out why. Every condition, it seems, from humanity has now been reduced to something that has to either be medicated or avoided.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I get triggered by that, so I'm not going to confront that. It's the same thing, right? If it's difficult, you're probably mining the correct dirt. I don't, I would really like to see a shift from that triggers me and therefore I avoid to that.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I'm not saying everybody is like this, but there is a large cohort of people that are like this, that changes it to, I feel triggered by this and I'm going to figure out why. Because I think you can work your way through that minefield and not end up like Nick, pun intended. You know what I mean? Because he's missing a leg for those of you who don't know who we're talking about.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Okay, copy. West of the smoke. I'm looking at danger close now. Come on, win it, baby.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, we could go on. You guys have hair, right? You wear shirts and pants. Yes, okay. You have plenty in common. You guys might be defined by your similarities more than your differences. Okay, Andy, thank you. Sit on that one for a bit.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah, it's a tough balance. I used to bite my nails pretty badly as well. And then to stop that, you have to let them grow out. But if you let them grow out, your training partners don't like you very much on the mats. I actually have come home looking as if I had been attacked by a cat. And I didn't feel it in the moment.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And it's this guy said, dude, YouTube has had a pretty big impact in your life. It's fucking crazy. It's one of the beauties of our interconnected world. One of the few beauties. Yeah. God, there's some downside.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah. Yeah. operational planning cycle. Exactly. Let's go get him. And so do they. I know how we can solve this.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I, uh, At a moral level, I have absolutely no problem with that. Oh, fuck yeah, man. There's nothing wrong with that. It crosses a few legal boundaries, unfortunately.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But if I was in his shoes, I would do that and probably have one of the best nights of sleep in my entire life.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah. I also had that when we switched, when the gym got the new mats, they had the rough tatami finish and I didn't feel it at the time and it had abraded almost all of the skin on my face. That was a fun one to hop under there.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
There's an argument for, you know, you don't fight trauma with trauma, but I tell you what, and I'm not an expert in these people, but I'm going to call them predators. The rate of recidivism, even when they go through treatment and therapy in prison, is shockingly high. It's the same as people who- What the hell does recidivism mean? repeat behavior.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Meaning they'll, they go and they try to, they're not, they're not, they, they, they will pick right back up where they left off. And, um, let me be very clear about this. Like I didn't do shit in my military career. I was surrounded by amazing people. Occasionally we would bump up against those who had the exact opposite beliefs of everything this country
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
is founded on and what I believe it stands for. And they would kill you and everybody, you know, and your family just to make a point because they have the opposite belief. I don't know of any other way to stop that person other than to put their lights out. And I don't know of another way to take those predators off the street other than actually taking them off the street in that way.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I'm not saying that people should do that. I'm just saying that there is another part of that conversation of you can't fight trauma with trauma. Like, okay, I get that. Yeah. How the fuck do you solve, not solve the problem, but how do you, how do you stop somebody who is, I mean, we're talking decades later, this guy saw him, right?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And he was in that deli with another kid. I'm not gonna, I'm not Sherlock Holmes, but let's make a leap in an assumption of, especially since he was using the same name, probably can figure out what would happen. Let's also imagine that that kid that he saw on the deli wasn't the only one in between the two.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
That's a quick turnaround time. Right. Like CSI, the TV show, just so people know, is largely made up. They have all those tools, but they don't work overnight like that.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I'm going to say that the guy decided to take his own driver's license out and put it on the table. That's how I think they caught him.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Right. And that's the difference between I don't have a moral issue with that, but there are legal boundaries.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And that probably was the breach in the dam where it started coming out.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Two years now. Sweet. So blue belt? Yeah. The old blue belt. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Stranger danger is real. Right. But the positioning where 99.9% of the danger comes from stranger danger, I think is one of the biggest missteps that was made along the way. Yeah. Because I'm not an expert in the stats, but I've talked to enough people now that it almost always comes from somebody in your social circle or familial circle.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Did you find it came with any magical powers? Jiu-jitsu? No, the blue belt. No.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
We have to change that term. Because there's never been a successful sex change operation. So the mutilation of... You know what I mean? That's how people position it. Yeah. There has never been an actual successful sex change operation.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Please don't be looking up. Did you hear the typing? I made that comment and you have furiously started typing. Are you trying to prove me wrong?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
This is again, I need you to log out of everything associated with my name and log back into your personal. What was the results?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Define yes. Were you able to put or modify the sexual reproductive organs of an individual to appear to be that of the opposite sex? Sure. At a genetic level. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I'm going to add to that because I do believe that there are people who feel like they are trapped in the wrong body. And I have nothing but empathy for that. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to participate in somebody telling me that they were born as a man and are now a woman. I want them to live their most enriching and fulfilling life. I have no problem with that.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But don't push that ideology on me. Yeah. As long as we can respect those boundaries and you're not preying upon people. And I'm going to add to that too. You need to be an adult when you make these decisions. Yeah. You have to be an adult. And we could argue about what that means because in the US, right? And I say this based on my own children. They turned 18 and got their driver's license.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Dad, I'm an adult now. And I look at them like, no. Yeah. In the eyes of the law. And I mean, they are an adult technically in the eyes of the law, but I'm looking at them and all I can still see is the small child that I used to carry around and
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So here's the thing for, and this is from somebody who never wrestled. I, you can instantly feel it when somebody comes from a grappling background. Grappling is grappling, right? People want to pretend like jujitsu is a completely unique and standalone. It's, I don't think there's, I don't know. At some point in time, people were creating unique things.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I've done a this is the episode that'll come out a couple of weeks before this one. There's a organization up here called Deliver Fund, they're anti-human trafficking. It's important, I think, for people to recognize and understand too, trafficking, sexual human trafficking is actually the minority of human trafficking. It exists almost always in plain sight.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I grew up in California and I didn't recognize that a lot of the workers in the fields providing, working agricultural fields, they would have a broker between the owner of the farm And the workers and the broker collects the money and puts all of those people into a house where they're just cramped inside of there and gives them a minimum amount of money. That is also trafficking.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Apparently it's very often are common in hotel workers, but most people think it's Craigslist ads, women and sexual trafficking. That is a portion of it, but it is huge beyond that as well.
Cleared Hot
Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
None of that knowledge would help. And actually... When Nick was sitting here, he's asked me, he's like, hey, you want to get involved? And I keep telling him, I can't be around these people because I will go to jail.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And you'll leave with the recognition that I am a completely normal person that is as flawed as you probably more so with my own shit going on.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's, it's odd. The hosting this podcast is odd because I meet people and they know far more about me than I know about them. So there is a disparity in, in, I guess familiarity. I try to be super open about myself, my struggles, the things that I've gone through, the few successes I've had, the multiple failures. But I just happened to have started this a long time ago.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It's an amalgamation of a lot of stuff in my opinion, which counts for absolutely nothing. But yeah, At least when I ask people if they wrestle, it's a compliment because their ability to apply pressure and take away space. Yeah. You don't know how to do that if you don't wrestle.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And for some people it clicks, and others it doesn't. And there's an audience associated with that. But there is absolutely nothing about me that is unique or special.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But people don't believe that when they meet me. I'm like, hey, I'm sorry that you and I have been talking with each other on YouTube. And by that, I mean I've been talking at you because it hasn't been a two-way conversation. Because people meet me and they're nervous. I'm like, dude. Take it easy. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And it's dangerous because they're going to fall off at some point.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
The problem is most people won't acknowledge their mistakes. Sure. You know what I mean? So if they make a mistake and they try to play the game of I'm going to ignore the response instead of addressing it, I think it gets worse. And I think that shatters a lot of what – the perception is of that person.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
My theory is when I mess up, which I do all the time, and this is outside of like the podcast content world and even my own personal life, I try to immediately acknowledge that and address it because we're all gonna fail and we are all gonna make, I don't have a spreadsheet long enough
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
to count the galactic mistakes that I've made in my life or the situations where I wish I had said something different or bit a better person, better, better dad, bit a better, like there's not enough time. Right. But I just try to address them. And I think as long as people are willing to do that, you can see them as a person and not a figurine lack of a better term.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So the difference between somebody who is even, your words, not mine, a dog shit wrestler, the difference between that and somebody who doesn't wrestle is unbelievable. Right. So-
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
worked in the construction business, an ultra marathon runner. He's an author, obviously speaker now, BJJ practitioner, amazing things. I am not even going to attempt to describe what he has lived through because he gets into it in a level of detail that might make some listeners uncomfortable. My recommendation to you is to stay the course, to listen, to learn,
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Well. Wrestling will work up into a certain, in my experience, up into a certain belt or knowledge level. Yeah. And then it will still be effective. It will be less effective. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Is your top game better than your bottom game? Certainly. Why are you playing top then?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I think it might be the right word, but you just don't have the context or the processing power to understand what you're seeing.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So anyways, that is crazy to hear. Yeah. My children would probably say that I am ridiculously over affectionate with them. Like I'm constant. I just, I'm always been an affectionate person. I appreciate touch for sure.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I can't even fathom a world of, I'm gonna use the term neglect, whether it's the right word or the wrong word, where just the physical act of a hug, which in my mind, and you're a parent now, right? Do you hug your kids? I don't think I can go a day without any, even my 21-year-old son, I'm like, get over here.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
It is such, it's not that it's a thoughtless act, it's an act that occurs so much, it's just an ingrained part of our life. I can't even fathom the level of neglect where the single act of just sharing a moment of time or hug could impact you in that way. Because it speaks to and defines how far out of the light that person is.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, for greater context, you got into porn at five. Fair. So it was a natural extension. Right. If I get into porn, I mean stumbled across something you had no idea what you were exposed to, but it still happened.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
There's nothing I wouldn't do to stop that. Like those 911 calls, you know, with a little fucking four-year-old's like. Oh, it wouldn't even be a 911 call. Even if it's not my kid, I would not be able to tolerate that. Yeah. And so. I'm going to be my own first responder on that one. Yeah. You know, and so. I don't mean as a kid.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I mean, as, as a fully formed adult in that situation, I'm going to call 911 after that's dealt with.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I don't pull guard. I am larger than most people in the gym. I will start seated and give them the top position. Okay.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Ladies and gentlemen, today's episode is brought to you by Element or LMNT. I really have heard people debate on how this can be said. I'm going to say... Pick whichever one you want to. I don't necessarily think it matters. So what is it? It is a zero sugar electrolyte drink and a sparkling electrolyte water. They now have an RTD or ready to drink.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
That's where the electrolyte water is coming from. That has grown from the body of research revealing that optimal health occurs or outcomes occur at sodium levels that are two to three times the government recommendations. I first heard about this through a good friend of mine, Rob Wolf. He and I actually... I've known each other for quite some time.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I've hosted him on the show a few times as well. So please go back and reference those episodes. He is one of the smartest people that I know. Makes me feel like I am an absolute idiot anytime he opens his mouth because the things that he knows, I don't understand half the stuff he's saying.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
That's, that's when I started jujitsu, I didn't have a grappling background whatsoever. I asked my now wife, Leah, who was my first coach. I said, please just teach me from the worst positions forward, which is going to be Mount bottom or whatever. argument can be made that belly down is probably worse than bottom depends on the person's skillset.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Now, he, I remember when he is a co-founder of Element and when the company was starting, I was getting my hands on the product. And the cool thing is you can order a bulk like these huge boxes. I say huge, it's 30. But these things right here, these are my absolute go-to. He and I were also jujitsu training partners for a couple of years, actually, when he moved to Montana from Texas.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I remember specifically what my body felt like before I started using Element and then after. And I can still feel it to this day because as much as I'd like to say I'm squared away, I don't always have these on me. But you go to training. For those of you who've never trained jiu-jitsu, you are sweating through your clothing for sure. So there is an output of things coming out of your body.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Most of the time, I would rehydrate with just water. And I'll tell you, it wasn't getting the job done. Sore, achiness, just kind of feeling depleted for the remainder of the day. Started implementing with Element. Now, for me, 12 ounces of water is the minimum requirement. probably more like 16 because it is powerful and you get used to it, but it can be overbearing when you first start.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I would say either cut the dosage in half or use more water than you think, but an instantaneous difference because I was putting back into my body the things that I was expressing during those hard training sessions. It's used by professional athletes. It's accepted and adopted by almost every genre of sports at this point. This stuff is phenomenal.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
If this sounds like something that you want to integrate into your life or lifestyle, head over to DrinkLMNT.com slash Cleared Hot. That is Lima Mike November Tango. DrinkLMNT.com slash Cleared Hot. You're going to get a free sample pack with your first order or with any purchase, I should say, which is probably a great way to test any brand out.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
If they make a variety of things, get the sample pack. See what you like. See what you don't like. Keep what you do like. Discard what you don't. And don't forget, you can try their new LMNT.com. or element sparkling, which is the 16 ounce can of sparkling electrolyte water. They're pretty awesome. I have them in the mini fridge here at the studio.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Michael seems to drink more of them than I've been able to get my hands on that little bastard, but you know, he trains probably harder than I do. So needs it as part of his rehab and recovery protocol, drink element t.com slash cleared hot, get a little salt in your life. Back to the episode.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Fresh water's got a sixer on the table of water, everyone. Take it easy.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I didn't have any offense for probably two years and I'm not joking. I would lay on my side. I would go to turtle. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
People would tell me you are the most boring role ever. You can't do anything, but I can't do anything to you, but that's not learning.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But by learning the defense and those positions, I didn't really mind, uh, being experimental and trying something new because what's the worst thing that's going to happen? I'm going to end up back where I feel comfortable. The problem right now, and again, I don't know your game at all.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
We've known each other for 15 minutes, but I bet the problem is right now, your most comfortable position is top. And if you, if that's where you demand that you stay or you're unwilling to experiment with because of the consequences of ending up on the bottom, in my opinion, and I'm not a coach, I think that that limits you.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So I would, my advice to you, if you were at the gym and you had a wrestling background would be like, one, that's awesome. It's not a negative thing, but I would catch up the defense to the offense you already have. And then you're going to be well more, much more well-rounded.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Well, it's also, it's your game to play and it's your trajectory. But I tell you what, I have seen a few people who grapple, who came from a wrestling background and their success early was unbelievable. And they were a nightmare for people. Right. But then they hit a glass wall that they couldn't find their way around. And more often than not, they didn't come back. Right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Then there's the other side of that. Some people... We have an electrician friend, Michael, that I will use as an example of this, who completely embraced the fact that his top game far exceeded his defensive game and committed to it. The dude is a nightmare, not because he was a wrestler, because he's really good at jujitsu and he's a blue belt.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I honestly think that in somebody telling a story like this, there are warning signs for those of us out there who would step in if they could figure out a way to stop this from happening. Whether it's just a conversation, asking somebody the right question, recognizing the warning signs, whether they're physical, emotional, psychological. I think it's possible.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
So the experience you have, whether you were a shitty wrestler or a really good one, it's not going to fail you and it's not going to go anywhere.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And that is... I was having this conversation, a buddy of mine, one of the things I dislike about people talking about jiu-jitsu is they say, well, the white belt's the hardest one to get. And it's not. It might be the most, or the largest mental hurdle you have to cross to try something new. But who, anybody who thinks you throw a white belt on and then it's easy after that. Yeah.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Now you're setting yourself up for failure. It's hard. Right. And it gets harder. Right. And I haven't found a belt yet where it gets easier. So. Yeah. But I'm telling you, if you can catch your bottom game up to your top game, you will be an absolute nightmare.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
What are the odds now looking back that you think that they knew who he was and what he was up to?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I don't think you will, but I mean, it's good advice either way.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
There's no way in hell that I would allow that comment to be made a second time.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
10 years ago, if I had asked you to write down 100 things on a piece of paper, do you think author would have been one? Yep. Okay.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah, exactly. That the adults have to step forward and be adults.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah. So where is this motherfucker now? He's dead. Please tell me it was extremely long and painful. Um, Like he accidentally lit himself on fire from his toes all the way up to his face and it only burned a quarter of an inch at a time.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I don't think he had good plans for you, man. I think he was doing everything he possibly could to keep you in his sphere of control.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
But he legitimately, I see what you're saying. I mean, legitimately, there are aspects of your life that he helped you through. Right. My suspicion, and that's all that it is, my hypothesis would be that he was doing that so you would stay in his life.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
He was trying to help you in yours so you would fill the role that he would want for you in his. Right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
He had nothing he did, but again, total suspicion hypothesis. I don't think anything he did was accidental. It sounds like an incredibly accomplished predator.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Yeah. Have you ever had the conversation with Jacob as to whether or not he knew you were being abused before you told him?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
And I don't know this person at all. And I say this without judgment, but I wish he would have done for you what you did for that other kid. Yeah. Because what you described, I don't, I don't have the vocabulary to describe what it feels like to sit here and hear that.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
How do we stop it? Better question or maybe a more realistic question. Is it possible to stop it?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Well, I mean, so you, so he, Mondo got sentenced when you were 15. I mean, so you still had to have finished high school, graduate high school. You went into the military. Yep. Have you, well, let me ask you this. Do you feel like I don't know the way to ask this. Do you feel like you have worked through what happened to you? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. How were you able to do that?
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
I don't think it's possible that we could stop it, but I think there are ways that people who are paying attention to this type of predation can step in and do something. So that's what we're going to get into on today's episode. If you follow the podcast, you know that I work with some advertisers.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Okay. So you, do you remember life before the internet? A little bit. Okay. Yeah. So I usually would say that I am probably the one, the last generation that I distinctly remember life before the internet and after your age group, like my children, my oldest is 21, has no recollection of life before devices like that. You're right.
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Episode 372 - Seth Gehle
Your age group is likely the last one that has a hazy recollection of pre end of the world anxiety rectangle that follows us everywhere.