Angie "Pumps" Sullivan
Appearances
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And it sure as fuck isn't good for these kids because just as much as a mom needs a break from the kid, the kid needs a break from the mom. My kids needed a break from me. They needed to go play with people their size. Right. with their same developmental stage and they needed to make friends. And I oppose these parents helicoptering around these schools. It's ridiculous.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
It wasn't like that when we were younger. No, it was not. I think it exacerbates anxiety. I think it's a pain in the ass for these teachers. It's a pain in the ass for these administrators. And I think that they need to stand up full force. And if people want to go dictate what goes on in public schools and they don't like it, then fucking homeschool your kid. Right. That's an easy fix.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Get out all your textbooks and you sit there with your fucking brat and you homeschool them. But don't go piling on to all these poor teachers because your child chose you and y'all have this most unique bond that no other mother and child have ever experienced on the fucking planet Earth. Fuck off.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I like it. I'm totally on board with that. I think I'm going to... Dance around on the high road this new year. Really? Yeah. I'm going to be up there just taking the high road left and right. I'm going to try to be kinder. Instead of starting off each episode with a grievance, I'm going to start off with gratitude. Really? Something I have gratitude for. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
But one thing I want to point out to the listener is when you would drop off your kids in the robe before your white suburban Petri dish of a car had even come out of the circle drive for drop off. A surgical glove was put on your hand. A Marlboro light box was packed. Oh, absolutely.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You were lighting a girt in this red robe as you're pulling out a carpool line with the mother who you're having to pass the mother who says, I'm so glad this child chose me, giving you the stink eye. In her outfit of the day. In her outfit of the day as you're blowing smoke out the window. That shit is fucking great. It is.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And remember that one day I called you, I was like pulling out a carpool line. lit up my cigarette and a mom in front of me lit out the cigarette. And I remember I called, she was like, oh my God, there's two of us. I'm so happy. Yeah. She got, she was blowing smoke out of hers too. Yeah. I was barely at a carpool line before I was.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I think my kids are always so glad they chose me every minute of the day. And that's just such a stupid. Here's what all it is, is what she said. You're raw dogging. Everybody's all hot and bothered. And that's all there is, too. And you've got this person's set of genetics and this person's set of genetics. And it's just a scientific thing happens with all species, not unique to you.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
The kid didn't choose you. The kid didn't choose you. I hate to break your heart. Yeah. Fuck her. Fuck her. Love the gal from Poland. What's her name? That was Olivia. Olivia. Olivia. That goes down in the I've had it Hall of Fame. Yes. Because some people want inspirational quotes. I want that shit. I want that shit. That puts me in a good mood. And I don't care who knows it.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
That's fantastic because that happened to me this week, this very week. And I always say no. It's forced philanthropy. Right. And here's the deal. Walgreens. Is awful from the job. That is such bullshit. It is forced philanthropy. Walgreens goes trotting around making billions of dollars in revenue. And instead of them being the philanthropic fuckers that they want us to be, they need to do it.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I'm tired. All the tipping stuff we talked about a couple episodes ago. What this is, is corporations. putting the burden of all of this stuff on working class people. And I guarantee you they're tax dodgers because all the breaks, all the tax breaks are for corporations like this. And they pay their employees probably minimum wage, which hasn't been raised in like a decade. Right.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You know, they say you can't be stressed if you're thinking about what you're grateful for. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to have no stress. And all I'm going to do is just vomit up gratitude and serenity. Gratitude. All of that stuff. Yeah. We should start reciting the beginning of every episode. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
So then instead of them saying, hey, you know what? American Heart Association, American Cancer Association, here's a billion dollars because we have like hundreds of billions. Right. We're going to guilt our customers into donating. And we're going to make them look like assholes when our cashier calls it out. So here's what I have to say to Walgreens and to CVS. Pay your employees more.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And you donate the money. Right. I don't want to be forced into philanthropy nor shamed into philanthropy. I want it to be my choice. Right. Well, it's the shaming. It's just the shaming like that you have to say no. Like some places you go and I'll say, do you want to donate? And you can just hit no. There's not any communication. That needs to be removed.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
100% it's bad, but it's worse when they ask you. And then you've got that little fucker. I mean, I wish she would have just turned around and slapped the shit out of him. And his mother was probably like, oh, little Johnny. I mean, you just know she was awful if he felt liberated enough to say that loud enough for her to hear. What a little fucker. He's a little shit.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I wonder if his mom pushes pills on him. They were at Walgreens. I don't go to Walgreens. I boycotted Walgreens years ago. I hate that place. You do? Why? Because you always have to stand in line. I mean, I just hate everything about it. What about CVS? I don't like that either. I mean, if I have to go in there, I might, but it would be like gun to my head.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Well, I think that she's on to something with the forced philanthropy. I think it goes right there with the tip jars. Starbucks, pay your employees a livable wage because Congress isn't going to fucking do shit about it because they're too busy harassing drag queens. Yeah. So corporate America, you donate the money and you pay people a livable wage and get off our backs.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Why do we have to pay all these people? They're the ones with all the billions of dollars. Right. We need to get Bernie Sanders on this show. I'll work on it. Thank you. I'm sure he'll be first one up. I think he's probably had it with a lot of shit. He would probably be the king if I've had it. Totally.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
straight people stop using the term partner that's ours it's all we got i love it i love it a couple of things to unpack here okay first and foremost she's 100 right yes straight people have gobbled that up and that's not right right that is exclusively for gay people i think yeah i agree with that right Secondly, I've got to talk about ninja lesbians.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You know how I feel about prayer. I know, but that's more of a, I don't really consider it a prayer. The serenity prayer? The serenity prayer. I mean, it says it's a prayer, but I think if it's more of like, it's a reminder that you're fucked and sometimes you just have to be fucked and accept that you're fucked. Anyway, I'm just kidding, you guys. I'm not going to start off each episode.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
The first time I've ever heard it, we have got to dissect this shit because that is fucking 10 out of 10. I had never heard that either, and I love it. So a ninja lesbian is the super feminine that dolls up. According to Tammy, the ninja lesbian can go about and interact with the straights undetected as a lesbian. Right. Right. So she's out like totally, it's like stealth lesbianism. Yes.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I mean, I play pickleball with a lot of lesbians. And there's a couple of them that if I didn't know that they were gay, they would definitely be ninja lesbians. But of course, I know that they are. Right. I love this whole ninja. It's a new word. Is that a word that is common amongst the lesbian community? I had never heard it. Okay. All right. Ninja lesbians. New word from Tammy.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You are welcome here on I've Had It podcast. We want to know what you've had it with. Ninja lesbians, our new obsession. New obsession. Kylie, how do you feel about ninja lesbians? I think I'm dating one. You sure are.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Never in a million years. She is 1000% the poster child for a ninja lesbian.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Michelle. There's so much to unpack there. Number one, five stars on the delivery or a Starbucks would say seven stars. Seven stars. That is. And here's the deal. She is 100 percent right. Senior citizens with the senior discounts. It is a lot. We both have parents that are seniors and they like to grandstand. Nothing more than they love to tell you about their discount. And we're talking $1.50.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
mom used to lie to get the discount to go into the movies I will be I mean you know what is that Charlton Heston from my cold dead hands I mean I will be like I'm not a senior what are you talking about I had a football game last year that I went to that I because typically they have a card reader you can use your card well I only had like five dollars and so I set my purse down I was like y'all I don't think I have they didn't have a card reader it was cash only and I was like y'all I don't think I'm going to be able to come in I only have five dollars
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I was going to say that's going to be the shortest lived resolution in the history of all resolutions. I am not going to start off each episode with a gratitude list. Because quite frankly, I am not that grateful for many things. And in 2025, I want to point out more fuckery. And I want a lot of it to be focused on the find out phase that all these Trump voters fucked around with.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And the guy selling me the ticket said, well, you get the senior citizen discount. And it's only $5. And so I said, you think I am a senior citizen? And he got super embarrassed. Well, every time I would go to the bathroom, I'd say something quibby to him about it. And by the time I left, he's like, you're going to make me cry. This is terrible. I mean, I just would not let up on it. A senior, me.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Well, I mean, you're the one. I mean, you've got to get bangs in like a year. But I mean, I just was like. Here's the deal, though. Back to Michelle's point. Like, these seniors... Like, my dad will go on and on about the senior discount that he got. And at some points, I just want to say, I'll give you the $2 so we don't have to hear about it anymore. Right, right. I mean, like, it is...
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
not interesting, nor fun. And I'm glad that you got to save money. But to Michelle's point, like I when I've had been able to, you know, accumulate money as I've gotten older, the time that I needed the discount was when I was when Michelle's age, right? Oh, absolutely. That's who needs the discount. The seniors, they're not paying for kids anymore.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And then we wouldn't have if I think we need to take the senior citizen discount away and give it to like the you know, 25 to 35, those are the people that are really struggling financially, right? The hustle discount that when you're out there hustling for life, senior citizens, they've got it. But I'll tell you my favorite thing. She said, I roll goddamn city.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And I think Kylie made us something because I love this so much. That we now have a gold button, Michelle. Oh, gosh. I'm going to put it right. Where's the speaker here? You ready? So every time you say something I think is stupid, I'm going to do this.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
So I'm going to keep it right here. Michelle, that's probably one of my favorite lines. Where's mine? Out of any color. You don't get, we don't give seniors electrical devices. What's their vibrators? I love it. Michelle, you are so right. I've had it with the seniors and their discounts and they're constantly flexing about the discount.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Mom and dad, if you're listening, we're all tired of hearing about the discount. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. It's not interesting. Another thing she points out is the lingering at the meat counter. They do. They linger there. And it's like, all I have to do is grab this right in front of you. And I've just gotten kind of aggressive with them. And there's like, they do cut. They totally cut.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
They're total cutters. The self-awareness starts to leave. And it's not all seniors, but like, it's just like, why are they getting the discount at that age? Maybe because they're getting seen. We need it in the hustle era.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I needed the discount when I was her age. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, that's when you're just like adulthood is just slapping you in the face and you're paying here, paying here, paying here. By the time you're a senior, your house is probably paid for or getting close to being paid for. Your kids are out of college or out of, you know, a vocational school are exponentially less. A lot less. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Michelle, I think this is something we need to stand for. Ban the senior discount. What are we going to name the gold button? Huh? Oh, it's I roll goddamn city. Whenever you say something stupid, that's what I'm going to do. Stupid button. The stupid button. Okay. Kylie, I feel like you're showing favoritism that you got her the button and didn't get me. Get over it. I'm just going to say.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Last one is Jessica S. So first of all, I just want to say that I really love you guys. When I have to travel for work, you really make things interesting, but. Okay, enough of that shit.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
So what I've had it with is when there is a lot of traffic, especially in the afternoons, getting off work, and there's a line of traffic and some fucker wants to come up the side of everyone else just so he can jump in front of you. Absolutely not. I will not let it happen. I will inch.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
so close to the person in front of me that you can't put a fucking piece of paper in between us before you get in front of me or like on the interstate when there's a line of traffic and traffic stops and people want to come up on the shoulder like I really hope that you get a flat tire on whatever trash is on the fucking side of the interstate and I hope that you don't have triple A laughing laughing
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I'd like to highlight when they start finding out that Trump isn't the president, that it's actually Elon Musk who's not even American. Right. Yeah. And Putin. Yeah. And all that shit. So that's going to be a lot of fun. But let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
It's such a good one. Oh, it's so great. It is so, I get furious at people that try to cut in too. She is not going to have it. I'm not going to have it. It's not happening on her watch. You couldn't fit a piece of paper. I love that. I mean, and she's right. There's always some hot shot grandstander.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
That's got a big dick it over. Fly down the shoulder so that he can ram in front. And she will not. I love it that she will not let him in. I'm kind of the same way. I'm kind of him too, but I wouldn't go that aggressive. Like I'd be too scared. I would have a wreck. I'm going to start going.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I mean, I think that's good. let's go for a break and i think everybody should do it so that person's just sitting over there in the shoulder an hour in the other lane yeah just stuck and it's like sorry sorry get in line with everybody else motherfucker yeah that's right there's a line starts back there oh my god she's so i love that yeah jessica We're going to model you. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And I think I think that like, you know how maybe it's like a four lane highway. Right. And you're maybe I'm in the second lane. Like there's the fast lane, which is the left lane and then one lane over and about two miles out from my exit. I'm like, OK, I'm going to start making it over. Right.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And then the people that like won't let you get over, I wonder if she would be, I think she would let the person go if they're going against the grain to get it to the exit. Right. I think she's just saying like, you're not waiting your turn. Right. Nobody wants to be here in this line, but we have to be here. Right. And you're trying to cut. She's not having it. She will not have it.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Not on her watch. No. She hopes they don't have triple A and she hopes they get a flat. Right. That was good. It was so good. I have to say, callers, voice memoers, thank you so much. Please go to our Instagram and leave a voice memo. We need even more for 2025. They are our favorite episodes. It makes us feel normal, good, better than, exceptional.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
This is just a personal thing that I saw the other day that I wanted to share with you and the listener that I thought was a huge violation. Pulled up to 7-Eleven, pumped some gas, got my credit card in, got the nozzle in, got it all set, went back and sat driver's seat. And there's another car and we're nose to nose, right? Right. Well, the gal is pumping the gas.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
All of these things to know that there are other assholes out there besides the two of us, the asshole army with the voice memos. It's really quite beautiful. Everybody have the greatest new year and pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
The guy is sitting behind the wheel. She goes up to him and their doors open and she leans in and they start stage five making out. Oh, I was afraid you were going to say that. It is PDA at the gas pump. Gross. It is. And here's the thing. And this is going to sound terrible. And I know I'm a terrible person for saying this. These people were not attractive. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
at all which made it worse so it was like ugly people PDA yeah which is an especially egregious violation and so it was like one of those things you know sometimes you see couples and you think god do they do it and then you start to see them do it in real life it's horrifying and it's a nightmare a nightmare at the gas pump that's what I had to go through the other day so just like to
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
double down, circle back on some grievances that I've had this past year. PDA, I would like to add a layer of it. Ugly people PDA is a more egregious violation than pretty people PDA. And I know I shouldn't say that, but in Trump's America, we're going to start being more honest. The fact-checking must start now. We're going to be more honest.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And I think if you're hooked up to true serum and a polygraph, if you have to see people make out, you're always going to lean to seeing more attractive people making out. I don't even think anybody would argue that. I think ugly people would. True. Okay, but here's the thing. This is like a universe question. If you're super ugly... And your make-out partner is super ugly.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You think they're attractive. So you don't know that they're ugly. So that's the thing, right? Although I knew my ex-husband wasn't cute. Yeah, you knew. I knew and married him anyway. Chased him down the aisle, all the things. You even baby talked with him. I've been told that.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
It's just going to be a defense mechanism. And you might be the only one that knows what it is, but you'll feel better. Yeah. And people can look and be like, oh, that person's crazy. But you'll just know that there are an army of people on Asshole Island that support you and love you and that you just need to belt out from the rooftops to get through. All right. Pumps, what are we at it with?
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
There was some baby talk going on. I mean I think you do know. I think you know. Like, I know. I look in the mirror and I know. It's not what it was. It's not as great as, you know, somebody else. I think you're very attractive. It's average.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I think you're very pretty. But in general terms, I'm just saying I've had it with PDA. And then I think an extra layer of grievance that I have to it is when you have very unattractive people participating in PDA. It adds an extra layer of distaste that I do not like. And I just wanted to bring that to everybody's attention. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Remember I told you the story about the ugly people playing grab ass in the security line and it just was more than I could take. I mean, it's just, I agree. They have to be attractive. I mean, if you have to suffer through it, let them at least be attractive. Okay, welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I'm excited about that. Now you're going to browbeat for 15, but I'm going to celebrate 12.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I love that. That just makes me tingle inside. It makes me so happy. I love that they call out the women that make having a child their whole personality. It is fingernails on a chalkboard when women sit and incessantly talk about that. They're kids. It has always driven me crazy.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I have always had an extreme self-awareness that nobody gives a shit about what my kids are doing, except for myself and the blood relatives. That's it. And even some other blood relatives are probably like, I don't give a shit what Dylan and Roman are doing. But the whole identity of being a mother, it's sad because these are the women that just feel so lost when their kids grow up. Right.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
They just don't have anything else. They need part-time jobs. They need more to do. Starbucks and being a mother is just not enough.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
That's exciting. Yes. So I agree. Unhinged, unstoppable. And the most important part of that was always right. Right. So I want to just say into this new year, I have some predictions. Some things that I predict are going to happen. I think there's going to be more scandals involving Stanley Cups than just the 2.6 million recall that recently happened. I think there's going to be a lot more. And
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I am going to do everything in my power to end the top knot headbands because I can't look at them anymore. They're awful. I can't look at somebody with a horn on their head. I can't look at it anymore. I don't know why so many people look in the mirror and think, God damn, this horn on my head looks so great today.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Okay, that just kind of makes my point though about the unattractive people making out in public. Like whoever has that top knot headband bejeweled, bedazzled with pearls. I see them with pearls all the time, like big pearls. They look in the mirror and they're like, I look great. This is a great look for me. This just goes back to beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Ready? One, two, three. That was pretty good. Pretty good to start the new year. Patriots and Gatriots and Natriots, we're heading into a new year. Unchartered waters and pumps will be your calm in the storm. And whenever you're in public and you see egregious violations that you would only see in Trump's America, do the following as loud as you can. That's what you do. Yeah.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
So like, you know... Maybe that's the way it should be. Well, it for sure should be that way. I mean, of course, the two people that I saw at 7-Eleven making out that I found to be unattractive, they found each other to be attractive. And one could argue there's something beautiful in that. But that's not this podcast. This podcast is talking about how dare you? How dare your ugly asses?
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Smack down and make out and fill each other up while you're filling up your tank. I have had it. That's what this podcast is about. There are other podcasts where they will tell people, that's beautiful what you did. Y'all are beautiful. All of those things. That's not what this podcast is. It's not here. No, no. Not today.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Okay, so I believe what we're going to do in this episode is we are going to play our greatest hits, voice memos, some oldies but goodies. You will want to stay tuned to listen to each and every one of them because these are Kylie's favorites. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. Wow. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. pumps this 2025 a lot of people probably have an idea they've had in their back pocket for a long time and with the start of the new year they think yep I'm gonna do it I'm gonna launch it and I say listener do it and do it with Shopify that's what we did and it makes it so
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
All right, Kylie, who is our first contestant on this game show of ours? I've had it.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You know why? Because it's going to take a lot to get through the next four years.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I'm going to start by being a bigger dick, a bigger asshole. So I hate resolutions, but I have one. Okay. I like that. Your resolution is to be meaner. Right. My resolution is to be, I'm going to try to amp up. Michelle Obama, they go low, we go high. Right, right. They're going to go so low, we can't imagine how low. And so I'm going to strive to go lower. At every turn. At every turn. All right.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
Oh my God. That is so good. Check that shit into my veins. It's so good. It is the best. Kyle, I need for you to text message that to me so I can put it in my sounds on my phone so I can just listen to it when I need, when I need a, some people want to hear inspirational quotes to put them in a good mood. I want to hear that. I got you. The fucking clown at the end was the best.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
What about you were raw talking in Florida? It's true. The Instagram mom culture. It's bad. It's so over the top. She's probably talking about a two or three year old that doesn't have Instagram. So the kid's not seeing it. So it's totally performative. Wouldn't it be nice if like in 18 years you could follow that same person. The kid gets on and goes, that woman was the biggest fucking nut.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I hated her guts. Just go on and on and on. And I didn't choose her. I was forced to come out that uterus. Yeah. No, that was bad. That was great. No, she's right, though. The Instagram mom culture in America is just it's so over the top. It's like being a mother is this new original. Right.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And this child is the most the first of its species of its kind that's ever, you know, walked the planet Earth. And I chose this child and this child chose me and serendipity fucking injecting into the veins. And it's total bullshit. You bread. You bred. You fucked. You raw dogged. You popped out a kid. Right. Okay? Your kid is every bit as special as everybody else's, which is not that special.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
And your journey into motherhood is about like ours. It just is what it is.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
It's wonderful to you and to you personally. Sometimes it's a pain in the ass. And I think it's more refreshing.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
When I hear a mother say... Being a mother is so great, but it's also equal parts exhausting, lonely, isolating, and difficult. And that's the type of mother I want to talk to. Those are the people I gravitate to. The Stepford wives that put out this whole, you know, I can't take it. It's too much.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
But you know what's so great about at our age, again, is that we've cultivated our friends so well that those people are at arm's length. Oh, yeah. Like we might see them on Instagram, but that's as close as they're going to get.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
I saw on Instagram the other day, a gal was posting, she was recommending, I think we've talked about this before, but it's worth a revisit, recommending school drop-off looks. Oh, that's right. Yes. I remember you sent that to me and I just thought, go fuck yourself. Nobody Except you cares what you're wearing at drop-off. Nobody. Universally.
I've Had It
New Year, Same Us
You're the only person out of 8 billion people that cares. And for you to post it on the Instagram as a drop-off look, I mean, that just... The height of narcissism. And it goes back to this point. You really shouldn't be up at your kid's school. Right. And the schools, it's not good for the teachers. No. It's not good for the administrators.
I've Had It
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I don't know. Is it, is it like, it's like a big tree. So is it a phallic rest? I mean, I have no idea. It's just, here's the thing. All of these baby names, like immediately when I saw it before I even got my glasses on, I was like, of course.
I've Had It
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We've been sounding the alarm on this. When you try to make your kid's name something different and you spell it all fucked up that they have to spell it every single day for the rest of their lives, they're never going to outgrow this stuff. It's child abuse. They're never going to outgrow it.
I've Had It
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Jennifer and I were talking on the podcast, like, why doesn't he get on Ozempic? That would be such an easy deal. Literally, my phone shows me this article that says, Trump's looking so good lately, people think he's on Ozempic. And I'm like, the gaslighting doesn't stop.
I've Had It
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I like to be the first one at a party because the host knows you're there and then you can leave. When people start getting there, then you just trickle out. Is that straight people stuff?
I've Had It
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All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when you're working out and people stop to visit, like you're just, you're having a social call. And it's like, I have a very finite amount of time that we're doing this. I don't want to chit chat.
I've Had It
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No chit chatting. I don't like it. Especially when your ears are in, that just goes all through me.
I've Had It
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Well, let me ask this question. So do you get to take pictures? Like if she would have gone, would it have been appropriate for her to take pictures with the person that invited her? Yes. Okay, okay. That's how white we are. I'd never even heard of it.
I've Had It
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I agree. Not to mention, it's just fucking annoying as all hell. Yeah. Plus, he's a dipshit. Yeah. He is running around with the dumbest conspiracy theory ideas in that ground. I'm like, we're a visual and audio society. How did he get this far? How did that happen?
I've Had It
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I read there's a person, I mean, because people are dying from measles because they don't get vaccinated, which is absolutely abhorrent.
I've Had It
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Somebody, and this person looked like they would say this, but they were like, I know I lost my child because he died of measles. because I didn't vaccinate them. And if I had another child, I wouldn't vaccinate them. And I'm just like, you can't help these people. You just can't help it.
I've Had It
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Oh my God. It's no secret that I use GLP-1 medication to lose weight and keep weight off. And that is why Roe has been so invaluable to me. And now they have a new body insurance checker that is fantastic. Getting your hands on Ozempic and Wegovy is enough of a hassle. Negotiating with your insurance provider shouldn't be something else you need to worry about.
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Go to roe.safety for black box warning and full safety information about GLP-1 medications.
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I remember when my kids were born, I was like, that is the most gorgeous child I've ever seen in my life. It's perfect. Then like a few weeks later, I get the newborn picture they took of the hospital. And I was like, that is the ugliest motherfucker. ever seen, like I thought that was cute. Like that's love because this was not cute.
I've Had It
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For their safety. I'm doing the boarding school where you send your kid off at six weeks and you get him back at five. That's the boarding school edge.
I've Had It
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Oh, I didn't know that. And Josh takes that kind of thing really personally.
I've Had It
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Donald Trump doesn't have a, I mean, a gay stylist, obviously. Oh, definitely not. His makeup's horrible.
I've Had It
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What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety. vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
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This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today, smart choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices. That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer. That allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies.
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I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Golly. So he, yeah, that God, you know, my mother. Right. She was probably more into it than I was. So into all of this because she's not religious at all. And we had to live in this Bible belt. And she's like, look at what a scam this guy is. And to me, that's fraudulent. That's just total fraud. It's totally criminal.
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And the fact that the federal government and the IRS has not rained hellfire on these racket- bullshit indoctrination schools, all these asshole academies, all of these all over the United States that raise these kids to think that if they have sexual thoughts that they're going to hell and all this Christian nationalism bullshit all the way to this guy.
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The fact that that hasn't been handled and they... They commit fraud and financially abuse people with impunity in this country. And all of it led to, just like the Stanley Cups, Trumpism. All of it. All of that shit happened. led to Trumpism. I guarantee you the student body at Oral Roberts University is a MAGA pep rally. I'm sure. And you know the porn and the gay sex.
I've Had It
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Oh, you know it is just off the charts. The fact that they're still operating after somebody committed that kind of scam and people wonder, I wonder how Trump got elected. I wonder. There's a straight line. Fishy. It's fishy. Really fishy. Okay. Today we have a guest. Kylie was just telling me that this guest is a gay icon. Yeah, she is. Much like Pumps. I don't know about that.
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And her name is Lisa Rinna. And Pumps and I are old enough to to remember when she was on the soap opera called Days of Our Lives. I never missed her. Her name was Billie. I remember that. I remember Days of Our Lives you could still watch while you were in school because it came on at like 3.30. So you could get home from school at like 3, race in and watch Days. Yeah.
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And, God, soap operas were such a part of growing up in the 80s.
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Anyway, she has had a long career, including acting, soap operas, modeling, including a little stint in Playboy magazine.
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Mom of two, married to Harry Hamlin for 20 years, and just recently left The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And we're going to get all of the tea. Let's welcome to I've Had It, Lisa Renna. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps.
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I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
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Okay, let's welcome to I've Had It, Billie from Days of Our Lives, Lisa Rinna. Lisa, Pumps and I are of the generation where Days of Our Lives was our life.
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I would get, I would get off the school bus and race home to turn on Days of Our Lives.
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I bet that was so exciting because soap operas for, we have a lot of younger listeners, but back in the day, like soap operas were peak glam. Like the prettiest actors were always on soap operas.
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So Lisa, you know, we like to traffic and specialize in petty grievances.
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We like to park our asses in the problem and just let it marinate there for a little bit.
I've Had It
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I mean, I think that's a great question. Also, you get so many mixed messages from the internet. You're only as young as you feel. And then when you start acting young and you're having fun, then it's grow up. And what I think this leads into are all of these keyboard courage warriors that sit and monitor and patrol and write up on people's comment section.
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I just want to know in this journey of self-discovery and introspection that you found yourself in at the paint store, did it ever occur to you, I owe somebody an apology?
I've Had It
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Cause I love that your give a fuck meter is broken. I agree. I think that is like so liberating as a person to finally let your give a fuck meter go. Yeah.
I've Had It
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But they love to hate you, which I started that with the love part. We get trolled all the time online. Oh, I bet you do. Yeah. But I just think, like, I'm just so flattered that even if it's hate, that they're taking the time to stop by and put that energy into that. Because if I don't like something, call me crazy, I don't invest energy into it. Same. Exactly.
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The energy that they put into their hate is something that I find complimentary. Yeah. That's really good.
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Yes. Yeah, it's true. Okay. So how many seasons were you on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Eight. eight. And so the last season did, was it your idea to leave or did y'all part ways mutually?
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Okay. I want to ask you a question about now you're off Real Housewives. You are glad that you're off. And everybody's going to think that I'm the skunk at the garden party for asking this, but I'm going to ask it.
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Do you think that some of these housewife shows that depict women in the most stereotypical cartoonish ways that our personalities can be in the overall trajectory of women trying to, you know, advance in workplace politically, et cetera, is helpful or hurtful? Because I go back and forth.
I've Had It
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Okay, now we're going to play a game and we have an extended version of it called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. I'd hit it. I'd hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay, Lisa, had it or hit it, couples, tattoos?
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Okay, what would you do if Harry Hamlin came home today and he had a I Love Lisa tattoo on his bicep? Oh, it would be kind of cute, actually, if you think about it. Would you reward him with sex? would it turn you on?
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You know, we talked about this once. We had those girls, the girls next door on the podcast. And Hugh Hefner, like if you grew up in our generation, he was, you know, ubiquitous. It was kind of like every male wanted to be him. But he died in the perfect time, like right before the Me Too movement because that motherfucker would have been KO'd like nobody's business.
I've Had It
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I mean, he would have never recovered from it. So we asked them that and then we're asking you that. And it's kind of like our pre- Me Too brain, you kind of think, oh, hit it. And then you start to think about what all women had to go through. And then it's like, oh, wait, had it.
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So I think that's a very normal reaction to the evolution of how women think about their worth moving forward and the progress we've made in that department, that there was a pause on your part. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, next up, had it or hit it, reality TV? Had it. Do you watch reality TV?
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Yeah. You know, I think that there's, whether it's housewives, what you did or politics, it's People become a caricature of who they really are. That's the truth. And so there's this caricature, Lisa Rinna. There's a caricature of Barack Obama. There's a caricature of Kamala Harris. And then you have all the people that love that caricature and all the people that hate that caricature.
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This is something that we talk about here on the podcast quite a bit. And I want to get your take on it. Had it or hit it, Val renewals.
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Okay, we made a list a couple of episodes ago. And the list is the signs that you know somebody's fucking around and they want everybody to prevent everybody from finding out. The top of the list was vow renewal. You know that marriage is in trouble.
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Exactly. So we had vowel renewal and then communicating with each other online. Right. It would be like you and Harry, like he posts something. Instead of putting your heart, you're like, oh, my God, baby, you look so hot. And he's like, no, I can't wait to see you later. Have you seen these couples that full blown performative in a thread? No. I have not. Lisa, no, it's really great reading.
I've Had It
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It's so fucked up. Really want to read it. We'll text you some of these. There's a couple that we have on our watch list that we watch that exclusively does this. Mind you, they're sitting on the sofa next to each other, yet they're communicating in an Instagram feed or a Facebook feed so that for an audience. So this is number two, that your relationship is in major, major precarious position.
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Yeah. What was our number three tattoos? Yeah. Like couple tattoos. Yeah. So you're right in line with us that all of these things are performative bullshit.
I've Had It
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Yeah, of course. Oh, and Housewives is like prime for vow renewals. Yeah. And so we were on a reality show. You were? Yeah, on Bravo. Two years, had Evolution Media the whole night. It was called Sweet Home Oklahoma.
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It's Trump's America. I'm going to be more forgiving. That's right. We got to forgive the people that we care about more. Let me tell you, our grievances today are rather adjacent. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with people who you go over to their house and they're like, oh, we don't let our dogs on the sofa. Yeah. Okay. I just want to be like, then you know what?
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Alex Baskin, yeah. And so my husband and I divorced quite some time ago because he's had problems with prescription pill addiction. Oh, I'm sorry. We got back together. He's sober now. Everything's great. Oh, great.
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We got back together. We have two boys together, but neither of us is like super religious or anything. So we didn't feel the need to like go remarry, but I call him husband. He calls me wife, et cetera. So when the production team was in Oklahoma, I saw on this board ideas that they had pitched and one of them- Jennifer and Josh vow renewal.
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And I just like I pulled the showrunner over and I was like, that is never going to fucking happen ever, ever. I'm not doing it. And if I did it, I wouldn't do it on TV. Because that wouldn't be about Josh and me. Like I'm not fucking doing that. But so I, we, yeah, we know some of the, and they were real cool about it. They're like, okay, that's fine.
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We don't want you to do anything that you would normally do. But yeah. Yeah. Okay. Had it or hid it. Trad wives.
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You know, we need to talk about when people use the word traditional, they're just disguising their prejudices. That's right. You're right. You're right. It's just they're trying to use a PC word. But whenever I hear a guy say, oh, I'm traditional, then we know he's sexist.
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It's insane. A trillionaire. It is insane, Lisa. And so I've had this whole like. thought process about all of this. And here's kind of like my evolution on it. I've always been left voted Democrat because I'm not a fucking crazy person. All right. That's why I've done that.
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And when Bernie ran against Hillary, I bought into the Democratic establishment like, no, we got to have Hillary, blah, blah, blah. And I like Hillary. I think she was smart, highly qualified, all of the stuff. Highly, highly, highly qualified and sharp as a tack.
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But as I look back on a lot of the shit that he was saying back then, Bernie, he was right about the oligarchy forming and the consolidation of wealth at the top and that the wealth disparity is getting the middle classes shrinking and that's not going to be sustainable for our country. And they use religion. We live in Oklahoma. We live in the Bible Belt. We have a total abortion ban here, Lisa.
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She has a daughter. I have two sons. You have two daughters. Can you, it's just insane. Like when I think about the days of all of us watching Days of Our Lives without smartphones and, you know, we didn't have to worry about this kind of stuff.
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And now here we are to where, you know, if her daughter, something happens, medical or whatever reason, it's only her daughter's business. She has to travel to another state. And then they're talking about criminalizing that.
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I'm leaving. You let your dog on the sofa. I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to sit on the sofa. I don't want to sit around you. Why on earth? And they're all so braggadocious about it. Oh, we don't let our dogs on the furniture. And I'm like, number one, why'd you get a dog? And number two, why are you bragging about being such a bad pet owner?
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I agree. I think he's going to. And I feel like right now, more than ever, it is a very important time for women to not pre-surrender. And if you think about the inauguration, look at who had balls. Michelle Obama said, fuck that. I'm not doing that. And Karen Pence. Wow. Mike Pence's wife, mother, mother had more balls than all these men. Nancy Pelosi. I agree.
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The women stood up. And so I think it's a really important time to remind all of our listeners and all of your fans, which we know that you have a huge gay following and a lot of younger people and we do too. It's important to let these people know. We're not going to go the ways of Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos. We're not going to sell out like that. We have conviction. We are not.
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And we're going to stand with you and we're not going to pre-surrender to this fascist fucking regime. And we are going to stand strong. And I think it's important that all of these people, all of these gay kids that live in these horrible red MAGA hellscapes need to know that the Lisa Renna's and the gems and the pumps of the world, we're not going to shut the fuck up. It's not happening.
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Ever. There's not a bank account big enough that would get me to that Roach Motel Mar-a-Lago to kiss his teeny tiny miniature little hand.
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And we do still have the First Amendment. And as a group, we still have agency over exercising that. That's right. And the most dangerous thing at the formation of dictatorships or fascist regimes is the pre-surrender. And you see that that happened. Could you imagine that you ascended all the way to be a billionaire only to be beholden to a man that can't even blend his goddamn makeup? Yeah.
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It's there's this elitist, like I'm better. I'm a better person than you because, oh, we don't let our dog on the sofa or we don't let our dog sleep with us. Like I don't sit around and say, oh, I let my dog on the sofa. Right. I let my dog sleep with me. I don't feel the need to say that because I know I'm in the right place. Right. When you're right, you don't have to explain it all the time.
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Emasculating. And they talk about being alpha males ad nauseum. And I'm like, there's nothing more emasculating than what you did.
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There's no question about it, and I just want our listeners to know it doesn't matter who's in charge of this country. We still are citizens of Asshole Island. And we will not relent. And we will rebel. And we are not going to pre-surrender to this bullshit.
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Number one, in Trump's America, if that motherfucker can commit felonies and grab him by the pussy and all that shit, but we're going to be scared sitting on here standing up for marginalized people and standing up for our country. And that's wrong. I don't want to be right.
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Lisa, I cannot tell you how much I love you. I love the authenticity. I love that you came on here and we want all of the people that are scared in this country right now to know that you're not alone and we're going to get through this and we're not going to shut the fuck up and we're not going to kiss the ring because Lisa Rinna's got our backs.
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I feel like she's an over deliverer. She over delivered. I think that we all have what I was talking about, that caricature idea of what a real housewives of whatever given city it is. And you think hysterical, materialistic, no depth, not a whole lot of intellect. And that's just what the American psyche thinks about these people.
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And then you get her on, and we've had some of the other housewives on. She's smart. She has conviction. She has a spine. She stands up for something. She clearly has a fantastic marriage, is a good mother, and gives a shit. She fucking gives a shit. And she has the balls to get on this podcast and say, fuck them. Fuck the patriarchy. I think it's all bullshit. Fuck them all.
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And I love her for that. I love her. She's wonderful. All right, listen up, listener. We have new merch out. Link below to find our merch. And pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
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These people and this constant bragging about how they have these boundaries with their pet. And I'm like, number one, I think you're just revealing that you're a bad person. And I just think the next time I'm at somebody's house and they start this nonsense, I'm going to say, well, if your dog can't sit on the sofa, I'm going to sit on the floor. Yeah.
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It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
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That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
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The problem with you and your dog, Oliver Glizzard is the dog's name, whom I call Glizzy. The problem with you and Glizzy is he needs a pack leader. And you see what happens when you bring him to the office to visit me. He immediately obeys commands. He looks up at me adoringly. And dogs thrive in this. You need to be a better, it's not that the dog is bad.
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It's your leadership in the relationship with your dog is bad. And you need to get on YouTube and watch how to be a pack leader with my dog videos. I seriously, that's not a bad idea. They need, that's the way that it's in their DNA. And you're just like, there's no boundaries with him.
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And you know, when your son, your oldest son started, like, I think he was, I believe your daughter told me he was double birding him saying, fuck you, fuck you, you little spoiled dog. And the dog reacts. I'm team dog at that point. Because if somebody was doing that to me, I'd want to growl and bark at them too. And so I think what we're lacking here is dog leadership.
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Got to get on the dog leadership. And you need to learn to be a pack leader. And to all of the people listening that don't let their dogs on the sofa and are so sanctimonious because my dog doesn't sleep in bed with me and my dog only eats dog food. Give your dog away. Yeah. Go find your dog a good home. You're a bad pet owner.
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I'm tired of the bragging about like that you have this boundary with a creature that lives on average 10 years. That's all they've got. You're not going to let them sit on the sofa because you think you're such a badass boundary boss bitch. You boundary boss bitch. Let your fucking dog on the couch. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer.
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I'm Angie. She is. Oh, you are. The biggest egomaniac in podcasting.
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Here's what I have to say to this one star reviewer, is you're spot on. We are a problem recognition podcast. That's what we traffic in. We traffic in identifying problems and grievances. As to the solutions, We're way over our skis on that. We would never be so arrogant and pretend to have so much hubris that we could solve said problems. We like to just revel in the grievance of the problems.
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We tried. That was a really good idea. That was a really good idea. That was probably the best idea we've had since we started this podcast. Do not vote for Trump. Do not be a MAGA moron. But apparently- Nobody listens to us. Nobody listens to us. All they hear is problem. All they hear is problems. But we do like to traffic in problems. The name of the show is I've Had It.
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The whole point, the whole premise is complaining. It's not, we'll show you how to fix it. No. So to that reviewer, the name of the podcast is not, we'll fix it for you.
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It took me a minute. Yeah. I knew before you guys. That's incredible.
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Thank you, Norway. And I do believe that when you look at the happiest countries in the world, Norway is like top five.
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They're just kind of a live and let liver. Okay. I have... some news stories that I would like to share with you and our audience. And I'm going to read to you this first story. And I feel like they possibly got the nationality of this woman wrong. Okay. Because I think that it could have possibly been you. Oh, okay. All right.
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claiming to need funds for cancer treatment after his accounts were frozen by ex-wife Angelina Jolie. The scammer convinced her to send nearly 830,000 euros and grew suspicious after seeing Brad Pitt with his real girlfriend, leading her to report the incident to the authorities. Okay, here's the deal.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Let me ask you this. When's the last time you were on that prison website dating matchup thing? It's been over a year. Okay. Okay. Let me ask you one more question. And I'm sure people are going to get mad at me for needling you on this, but I cannot help myself. Okay. When you had that affair with that married man, here's the timeline that I remember, is...
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
A friend of yours noticed on his Facebook page, he's at like a football game doing like the hook and horn thing or maybe the hook and horn down. I can't remember. And on his left ring finger, there's a wedding band. Right. And so then you confront this man that you had been dating for several months. And he tells you that he wore the wedding band there.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
for the feelings of his co-workers so that they wouldn't he didn't tell them about the divorce he's been divorced for 10 years but he continued to wear the wedding right so the co-workers didn't get upset about his divorce and i believe I don't believe, I know that then you called me and you said, oh, it all makes perfect sense now. Yeah. Until I said it out loud.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
He, he wears the ring because he hadn't told his coworkers. And so he's really still divorced, blah, blah, blah. And I go, Angie. If it walks like a duck. Yeah. Talks like a duck. Yeah. And I was like, yeah. Originally, you kind of bought that.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Okay. Never going to date an inmate. Right. Never going to date an inmate. And you would not fall for a scam of someone impersonating a celebrity. Brad Pitt.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Okay, another news story is evangelical pastor says Jesus hasn't returned due to the lack of donations. What? During a recent four-day live TV event entitled Victorython, right-wing evangelical pastor Jesse Duplant claimed that people are not being generous enough to churches, hence why Jesus has not returned from the dead, he says. I honestly believe this.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Welcome to Asshole Island. Patriots, gay-triots, and they-triots.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
The reason why Jesus hasn't come is because people are not giving... the way God told them to give. When you understand this, you can speed up the time. He continued to suggest that if people called the number at the bottom of the screen, God the Father would say, Jesus, go get them.
I've Had It
Broken Give a F**k Meter
Well, I mean, my memory served was he had to get the donations before he could come down. If your version of it is that... Kylie, Google it. What Oral Roberts... What was his thing? If your thing was that he was going to lock himself in the tower until he got a million dollars.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
This is brilliant. The best thing I've seen in a while. That is amazing. It's so true, though.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Well, I just think it goes back to everybody's an expert on everything because facts and expertise are completely nullified in Trump's America. The dumber you are, the better they like you. So this to me is so gross, but it reminded me of a story when my kids were little.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I had this one mom in one of my kids' class, I can't remember, and she was going to like change the dietary restrictions at school lunches. Like they needed to be completely overhauled. We needed to do all this stuff. So she calls me one day and she's like, I mean, do you know what's in a hot dog? I mean, Comet Cleaner is in a hot dog and goes on and on. And I just said, here's the thing.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I appreciate that you want great meals for the kids at school. That's wonderful. But I'm a hypocrite if I bitch about hot dogs at school because my kids are willing to eat a hot dog and I don't have to cook, then that's a win for me. And I'm going to take it every time.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Like, how does anyone have enough time to educate themselves and be an expert on sunscreen and willing to just throw their kid out there without sunscreen? Yeah. That is so dumb. I can't wrap my head around it.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I saw on my feed, because sometimes I'll bounce over to Truth Social if I just want to see how crazy the world is. They're still advertising ivermectin. on Truth Social. And then I read an article today that measles in Texas is up exponentially because people are smarter than vaccines. And it's so insane to me that you would risk your child's life and go against science, like the guilt of that.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I didn't get my kid vaccinated because they said on Facebook it wasn't good for him. And so now I'm bearing my child How do you live with that guilt?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And the thing is, is I suspect that the robot is better at technology than me because 90% of the human population is. But what is so infuriating, if I'm going to get hung up on and sent to the website, why do I have to be on the phone for four minutes waiting for my option to show up? Just tell me, hey, bitch, I'm not going to help you go to the website. Click.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It's crazy how people are totally ignoring that. And I don't know if it's ignorant of history or it's just the empowerment of stupidity. But, you know. When you go to like a cemetery and you see the pre-vaccine little bitty headstones of babies and you think that was before. I mean, there's a distinct line. The data is very clear. Like they're not dying anymore. This is the mark.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
At least then I'm not 10 minutes in so frustrated that I'm just like, you know what? I don't want the damn thing. Forget it. I don't want to – I know.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It's so weird. Okay. I was just thinking, I've said it a thousand times during COVID. You were like, why don't they just have a Facebook hospital out in the parking lot of hospital? That was one of my favorite things. I got so tickled. What if with all of this stuff that we have going on, okay, so you say, this nurse of yours, I'm not getting the vaccine. I want all the immunity.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
But then you have to check a box right then. I'm not getting vaccinated. Therefore, I don't believe in science. Therefore, from this point forward, I will not seek treatment from medical doctors. shamans, all that swing for the fences. You can go do all, you know, sound baths, all that treatment. You can have all the WebMD you want, all the Facebook you want, all that stuff.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Do you think that would stop people if you had to sign up? Do you think they'd say, I'll sign up?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
What's great about Rowe is they let you know if you're eligible for GLP-1s. All you have to do is submit your insurance card, and Rowe takes care of the rest. No paperwork, no negotiating, no waiting on hold.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Well, I've never noticed that a baby stares at me. So that's not a good omen for me. It's not a good sign.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So diabolical. So it's like they're thinking they took it down because they didn't think they were pretty enough. So we're going to sell them shit that makes them think they're prettier. Right. Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Well, it's obviously what they want because they're like 10 deep in Trump. I mean, they have kissed the ring. Jeff Bezos, particularly with Democracy Dies in Darkness. No, democracy dies on Jeff Bezos' watch. I mean, he and again, we go back to this. If I were a 400 billionaire, I would be I would do something good. I would want to help people.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Or I would just want to spend my money, sit on my yacht and do my own thing, going and destroying poor people and taking money away so that I can have more from poor people. I hope I wouldn't do that. I just don't think I would.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I applaud the female frogs faking their own death. When I was married, there were times I would have faked my own death to avoid sex, but they beat me to it.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
So was it wedding night that it turned? I mean, probably, you know, after that. But it just, you know, I think what happened was after I got married, I realized there's really not a whole lot to like about him. Yeah.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I'm not clapping for their team. I'm clapping because he's hot. And Josh was like, did you just clap?
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Yeah, I do. Okay. One thing I was going to say, the reason Josh can giggle and have fun about it is because Josh is secure in who Josh is. He does not have to run around telling people he's an alpha male. He is very secure. And I think that's a huge difference in men these days. Some men are just triggered and so worried about everything because they're so insecure.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I mean, just, it just would have to be. That's what I always like. Okay. He's seven feet tall. His arms are longer. His feet are bigger. His heart's bigger. His skull's bigger. It just stands to reason. That's why my six foot floor drops to the floor has not failed me yet.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
That would just be terrible. Imagine having sex. Imagine like you're dancing. You've had a few cocktails. You're feeling great. Right. He hits on you. Six, six. You're thinking, oh, this is going to be so fun. We're going back. We're getting a hotel room. We're doing it. And he's three inch slim. I mean, it would just be so shocking.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
He would know it. Yeah. He would know that it was just a complete disappointment. There's no way he couldn't. Yeah. I mean, well, because it would be on loop. It would be every single time. Yeah. Oh, gosh, that would be. Yeah.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
It's appreciative. But have you had those friends in your life? Because I've had these friends in my life. Younger. But when they might say, you know, well, my husband said that they thought Jennifer Aniston was hot and that really hurt my feelings. And I'm like, bitch, that's not about you. That has nothing to do with you. Like you thinking Rudy Gobert is hot has nothing to do with Josh.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
which really would be a compliment to me that I could score him. 100% that he would see you on the sidelines and say, you're mine tonight. Like I'm all in. If that happens, if somebody like is on stage and like in my high school days, it would have been Rick Springfield. If Rick Springfield was on stage in 1987 and he said, you babe, I would have said, I'm there.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I would have hit it immediately. Uh-huh. That's so weird to me. Like people don't understand. Like that's about that person.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Oh, that's interesting. And I'll add myself in that. Lenny Kravitz is one of mine. There you go. Lenny Kravitz. That's a hot family.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Okay. I don't want to give Jennifer any credit. But when the kids were little, so I'm saying this was 20 years ago, probably. Cate Blanchett won an Oscar or she was nominated. She was all over the place. She was everywhere. Every time you turn on the TV, she was there in every magazine. Everyone knew Jennifer and I were friends. I had, and it's like vinegar coming out of my mouth.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I had so many people that didn't know Jennifer, but that I knew that would say, You know what? Last night I was watching whatever and Cate Blanchett, Jennifer looks just like Cate Blanchett. And I was just like, oh my God. Well, then it filtered around to people were telling her and I just, oh. It was a rough patch. It was a rough patch.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
Well, here's so many things about that because I was there last year. And what's so amazing to me is if you put truth serum in all of these parents, they would say these activities are for the kids. Right. And in my mind, I'm like, these activities are for the parents. The kids don't give a shit. The kids don't give a shit if you're at the senior slide show.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
They don't give a shit if you show up at the senior picture. Frankly, they don't want you there. But all of these parents have just made this, like being a senior in high school is the most monumentous achievement that any child will ever do in the history of the world. And it is so aggravating and so stupid.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And this is what I told my daughter, because she was on the cheer team and they won state. And so we had to get all these rings and have photo shoots and do all this crap. And I told her, I said, here's the thing about high school. The minute you walk out the door, you're done. You never think about it again. You don't long for it again. It's like in the past, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
And it's like it's the parents that are keeping the kids all like, oh my gosh, it's so sad you're going to college. Are you fucking kidding me? You get to live on your own for the first time. Tell me one teenager that's sad about that. Right. Right.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
I like it. They, what have you had it with? Okay, I'll tell you what I've had it with, She. I've had it when you need customer service and you call customer service and you spend an inordinate amount of time going through, are you going to do one, two, what's your selection? And then you finally hear your selection. Okay, I'm a four. So I hit four and they say, yes.
I've Had It
Make America Hot Again
go to our website to solve this problem at blah, blah, blah, blah, and hang up. If I could solve the problem on the website, I would not spend hours of my life waiting on your stupid, animated call. I mean, I've had it.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Yeah. Because I have two sons now that... I don't know that they – I know for a fact they'd never listen to the podcast.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
My boys could give two shits. They think I'm the dumbest, most obnoxious, miserable human on the planet. Any extra time they have to hear my voice – is misery for them. So they're not going to seek it out.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
What I like about Uncommon Goods is they're often handmade items and they're from small independent businesses that support artists.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Oh, that's exactly how I felt. It's like you were there in my head because I was really taken aback. Like, what? I just thought it was fucking bizarre.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I cruise around on their website all the time because you can get a statement piece or everyday jewelry.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
What kind of question is that? And here's the deal. Do you really want me to stand there and tell you? No. Everybody just wants to get their shit and get out. I just hate that.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I was thinking like somebody was going like, you know, those far end of the arm things. Yeah.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
This is a perfect example of why do you fucking care? I mean, they walked their kids to school, BFD. Who cares? Shut up.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Oh, I have one. I'm thankful that when I got it up the ass last night, we used lube.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I have to say, I think that's kind of sweet. See, I think it's kind of sweet, too. But in the back of my head, I'm thinking, is that like a pedophile thing? But it sounds just sweet. Are you saying this old lady's a pedophile?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It's heightened my senses. You know what she could do? She could adopt a kid from Africa like I did.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
That's what I was going to say. Like, this is just a one way street to give Antonio a blowjob.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Everywhere. Although I do say happy holidays. At least I really try. You do? Because I had a bad experience in law school with it, and I've just been very conscientious. Oh, I remember this from last year. Yeah, I'm very conscientious to say happy holidays instead of Merry Christmas.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'm just the dawning of an angel woke. A woke angel. A meemaw drag woke angel. That's exactly what you are. Okay.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Stop. Do you think they were being facetious? No. No. I would know if my computer had an engine. It does not take gas. Fuck you. So...
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Okay. Thanksgiving. Agree. I agree. Even though I defend it, but because it comes before Christmas, it's just kind of a... It's such an overrated holiday.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
She's fucking all over it. I'll tell you this. I walk my dog and I'm not the most coordinated person. But do you think you could walk and weave like with weeds? I mean, that takes some coordination, I think. That's impressed. I'm impressed with her across the board. Don't sell yourself short.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Bombas socks are the absolute best. I love the no-show socks. I love the long, warm, cozy socks. I cannot think of a better thing to put on my feet. And their slippers are great too.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
It's so great because it really is overwhelming when you start a business, especially when you want to ship stuff direct to people. So you have incoming orders, outgoing orders. Now it's seamless with Shopify. It's made it so much easier.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Oh, God. See, that's somebody I just never want to ever, ever be around. Here's what I recommend.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Throw them in her cart, maybe put them in her purse when she's not looking.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I don't know much about it either, but let's go. Let's fucking go.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Do you think this is witchcraft? It's gotta be. It's gotta be some kind of fetish. That's just not normal. I've never heard of anything like that.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
See, I knew I'd get you there. Yeah. Didn't take much. She doesn't do onion gravy though. She doesn't do onion semen.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'll tell you what. Yeah, took the tip back. Fucking assholes and just mean.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
All in. That's like my young guest had never voted before. And he texted me and he goes, I really just need to vote today. I don't have time tomorrow. And I'm like, well, it just doesn't work that way.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Yeah, I just, you know, people that just get their panties in a wand about stupid shit. I mean, I've seen plenty of plumber's ass cracks in my day. It's not pleasant. Didn't somebody beat off for you like a couple years ago in a car at a red light? Yes. It took me a minute. I was like, what? Yes.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I was sitting at a light on the way to exercise and I look over and he was making sure that I paid attention to him. Like he caught my attention on purpose and he was overdoing the wax of weaning.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
crawl i was just like number one that's just i feel like it's inappropriate i mean what are you thankful for i mean it feels nosy it just everything about it gagged me it's like she cares that's i was like you don't want to talk to me i don't want to talk to you let me ask you this does she know you have a podcast I don't know. I would guess probably not if I were guessing. I don't know.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
You're just bubbling over with Thanksgiving gratefulness? Totally. I was just going to say, we could call you hashtag blessed on this Thanksgiving.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Okay, I could too. But based on, I know her from the courthouse like years and years ago. From your lawyer days? Yes. So I don't know that she would follow me enough to... I don't even know if she follows me on Instagram or whatever. Do you think she's a Trumper? I would say yes, only because she lives in Oklahoma City. She's from rural Oklahoma. Does she look like a Trumper?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
No, she's pretty cute. Does she have a Stanley cap? Did you see a Stanley cap? I didn't see a Stanley cap. Now that's not saying she didn't have one in her car because I had one in my car, but that's here and there.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
No. That could point to Trumpism? No. I mean, that's what was so weird about it. It was one of those that we were just going to, oh my gosh, how are you? Good to see you. It's been forever. Is she an attorney? No. She worked at the courthouse in the clerk's office. So it was just a passing fancy thing. We should have never stopped past, hi, how are you? It's good to see you.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
And she asked you, what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? And I think I went... I was like, a lot of stuff and just turn around and, I mean, it just threw me off. Now that I look back, I should have said, fuck you. And the horse you rode in on, go fuck yourself. I'm not thankful for shit, you asshole.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I should have said, what are your political leanings? Okay, well, then I'll tell you what I'm thankful for. I'm thankful that I never have to see you again, you fucking trumper. There you go. But I didn't. I just was too taken aback. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Blessica. I love that.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
I'm trying to think of something to go with Bless the Cat. Oh, it's Angela Dawn, the dawning of an angel.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
So welcome, I'm Blessica. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, this happened to me last night and I fucking had it. And I don't know if it was a trap or what, but this person, I don't know all that well, but I know enough to say hi, you know, just like you do. And she said, what are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? And I was just like, go fuck yourself.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Yeah. And I think. a lesbian should be president of the United States. And I believe that wholeheartedly. Oh, I completely agree. I mean, we've said that for at least a year. Like things just work better with the lesbian in charge.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
We were trailblazers in Friendsgiving. We led the charge. But it was just our friends. Just us.
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
We're not close enough to talk about what I'm thankful for. Is that just me having a bad attitude? Like, I felt like that was invasive. What are you thankful for? Why do you give a fuck?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Two cold-hearted hags like Pumps and me support that. Absolutely. And that goes into one of the many gay exceptions that we have for our grievances. There's just a lot. Always a gay exception. Always. Even sitting on the same side of the booth, which I never thought I would say. But yeah, the Friendsgiving, I just don't understand why everybody got to dinner. Why do you have to cook?
I've Had It
Not Thankful for Phil
Same. But one thing that really helps me in that department is everyone, all my friends know that if they want to go to dinner with me, it's between four and five. That's your call time. On a Saturday, like I have a friend that we eat together about you know, a couple of times a month and it's a four o'clock dinner. I mean, she knows that that's it.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I mean, it's just – Everything is about performance. And then now we're doing the whole dorm room situation where you have a decorator go do the dorm room and you jazz it all up and it's tens of thousands of dollars. This is stupid. This is not preparing people for reality. This is not what happens. I blame 100% of this on the parents. 100%.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I completely agree. There's just not a lot of substance to that. If you want your friends to know where your kid's going to school, take a picture. So-and-so's going to so-and-so place. I mean, just all this, the balloons and all the money and the time, it just seems...
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Let me ask you this. When everybody – like when you're being served and let's say there's five people at your table – And one person's dinner's late. Do you go ahead and start eating or do you wait for someone at the table to say, like, if you're the one that doesn't have the food, obviously you have to be the one that says, everybody go ahead and eat. Or do you just go ahead and eat?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Roe is so great because you get GLP-1s if they're right for you. You don't have to go to the doctor. You don't have to wait in a waiting room. They send them right to your door. They're cheaper and they're effective. You can lose up to 15% of your body weight in one year.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, that's what I think you kind of have to do. But it really bugs me when people don't immediately say yes.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
That is the dumbest thing ever. There was an article recently that people that engage in small talk have a lower IQ than people that despise small talk. And I was like, that confirms right here that we're all so smart because I despise small talk. I won't go to places because I'm like, it's a small talk yak fest. I'm out.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Does silence bother you, like in an elevator or something like that? See, I start talking because the silence makes me nervous.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Does she tell you it's just Magaville, USA around here?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
It's amazing I'm as normal as I am, and that's not very normal. It's a low bar.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I love Canada. What do you think about all this bullshit people are doing to Canada to just make you want to tear your hair out?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
It's not as easy as it might look. It's a lot harder than people think. What have you had it with, Pums? What I've had it with is when you have dinner companions that you're supposed to meet for dinner and they show up late and act like you're supposed to wait for them to order. No. If you're not there at the appointed time, we're all going to order. We're not waiting for you.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, that's the problem. Or what I hate is you get it with the high-waisted jeans, so it's smaller, and then it looks ridiculous with the low-waisted jeans where you need a bigger. And so it's almost like you have to buy two belts, and that seems like a waste.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, I loved it when they got to duct tape people during COVID. I was like, go for it because people are awful.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I like that answer. That's a really good answer. I like it.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Everything's worse in Trump's America. I don't think there's any question about that.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You know, it's so weird because I watched her on Chelsea Lately every night forever. And she's just like she is on the show. She's just normal and funny and smart. And I love all her specials. I'm excited for her special. That'll give me something to look forward to. This was Kylie's top guest that she wanted, Kylie.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Oh, that's sweet. I heard you giggling. I mean, she's fucking funny. She's so funny.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I think that's one thing Trump's America is making everybody that's on the left even more left because he's so fucking crazy.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
America's top DEI, me, mom, meat, curtains, effortless.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah. The thing about suing somebody, it's just a pain in the ass. I know.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I think we're stewing in that for quite some time. Definitely the foreseeable future. Kylie.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I just like being able to get a bathing suit that's big enough for my boobs and for my butt.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Okay. I didn't know until we went to Italy that when you wear a one piece, you bring the crotch over to pee. You don't take the whole thing off. Like in 54 years, I had no idea. What? What? Yeah. Who was doing this? I was taking the whole thing down. I was like, had a one piece on. I remember. And I took the whole thing down. Yeah. And our friend Liz was like, what is wrong with you?
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
You're supposed to just pull the crotch over. Pull the crotch to the side. Pull the crotch to the side. I had no earthly idea that that was a thing.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah. Well, I didn't put it around my ankles, but I put it down. I mean, I was naked. Even a romper? You pulled to the side. I've never done that either. Yeah. I always completely undress. I'm just rolling around these bathrooms in the stall, butt naked from the knee up. See...
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I come back with a black eye from naked volleyball from my own breasts. That will know that I did. You know, honestly, if would you do it? Here's the deal. If I didn't have to be walking around naked. I would totally go just for content because I just think it would be so interesting.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
But I knew it was you. Yeah. And I'm not like typical... I'm not like modest, but I wouldn't just like flaunt...
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I think you send in your order or you just order late because if you're not there, you're not there. And I only have one friend that does this to me. It bugs the living shit out of me.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, the dragons would bother me at all times. I'd be running around with a hanger on the end of my nipple the whole nudist resort.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
A party trick back in the day, now I think gravity may have caught me up on this, but I could balance a hanger on the end of my nipple. And I'd just take it and I would put it up there and it would just hang perfectly even.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Now I just think, now I'm, the last time I did it, which has probably been a year or two ago, I was, I could do a wooden hanger, I could do a plastic hanger, any, any hanger challenge, I could do it. I've been regulated to wire hangers because of gravity.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I think some people look great with bangs, but I, my problem is I like the easiest hair you can ever come up with. And it's just easier to put your hair all the way back in a ponytail than fight with the bangs. But I, I'm impressed that she can cut her own bangs because I've done that a couple times with disastrous results.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
I didn't know that when your hair's wet, it's longer and it shrinks up when it's drier. I learned that the fucking hard way.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Yeah, I've lost sleep at night. I wake up in kind of like a sweaty panic. Like, it's terrifying.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
Talk about low hanging fruit. Is this what happens in Trump's America? You just go for the lowest hanging fruit all the time. Always. Now, when I read that article, I saw it and I was like, I think that's right. It's true.
I've Had It
Chelsea Handler Finally Showed Up
That's what I was going to say. When it said, and they often take photos and post it on social media, that's the whole game. That's the only thing they care about. I mean, here's the deal. Shut the fuck up. This is stupid. If you do it, you're stupid. Congratulations to your child for getting in. I mean, when my kids got in, I was like, oh, yay, great. That was it. That was the list.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
I have had it with gym couples. I go to the gym at my apartment complex. There's a couple that constantly goes together, which would be fine if they each did their own thing. But no, they do everything in tandem. I've seen them doing push-ups in sync, lunges in sync. When they use the weight machines, they take turns and cheer each other on.
I've Had It
Teenie Weenie, Not Hot, and MAGA
The other day, I saw them sitting side-by-side on the weight bench, kissing and giggling. And I'm just sitting there like... Do you people not know Donald Trump is the president right now? And in the midst of all of that, I have worked up the courage to go to the gym. And then you're subjecting me to this, this public PDA. And of course, of course, they're straight. I've had it.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Josh and I are shallow, materialistic, fall prey to the worst impulses of capitalism. It's just awful. And then you put the two of us together going shopping. It is a goddamn nightmare, what every person would never want to be, nor would want their kids to be. Remarkably, our children... Nothing to do with our horrific ways of mass consumption. And I asked them what they want for Christmas.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
They send me two to three items a piece. That's it. From a thrift shop online. The thrifting is what... And that's it. That's all they want. And for a long time, I fought it. And I was toxic. And I was like, but don't you want these cool shoes? Why do you want something that's used? And I was projecting the worst impulses of myself and my husband onto the children. But they were the resistance.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And they were like, no, we're not like you. We're better. They didn't go that far. But Josh and I talk about it a lot at night. We sit down and I'm like, our kids are a million times better human beings than we are. Like they do not want... I remember one time Josh bought these off-white shoes for Roman. And Off-White is this like sneaker brand. And they were like the hot sought after shoe.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
We are terrible people. We're terrible people. We have filthy mouths. Yes. So I think that is a ball humbug. I think we have to wrap. I think you... You've always struggled with wrapping.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And they're under the tree and Roman opens them. And Josh is just like sitting there salivating, waiting for Roman to be like, oh my God, thank you so much. And Roman was like, thanks, dad. I just, I'm too embarrassed to like wear these around because a lot of the kids like on my AAU basketball team couldn't afford this. And I just, I don't feel good about this.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And I looked at Josh and Josh looked at me and I was like, yeah, we're assholes. Right. Yeah. Learning lessons at our age under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning from a teenager.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
You know, here's the thing. Like, I wanted the kids to be open minded, socially conscious, all of the things. And there's a huge argument to be made that all of this fast fashion stuff like Zara, Brandy Melville, all of this stuff, it's just made for one season, you wear it a couple of times and throw it away. And the strain that that puts on the earth.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
So this Gen Z generation is like there are plenty of clothes on the planet right now for us to wear. We don't have to be engaged in this fast fashion. And so, you know, I'm really proud that they are socially conscious and give a shit about the world they live in.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I'm really happy about that. All right. Kylie has prepared some things for us to read on this wonderful Christmas episode. And one of them is, am I the asshole? And this one is, am I the asshole for ditching my in-laws Christmas dinner after I found out they wouldn't make accommodations for me? She says, or he says, She refused and told me to bring my own dish.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I said, if I had to bring my own dish when I'm a guest, then I better stay at home then. We went back and forth and I insisted I wouldn't come if accommodations weren't being made. I just thought it was a simple request and my future mother-in-law could have agreed if she really wanted me there.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
She did all this stuff. And then she went to Reddit and posted it. Like she's still living in it. Like it's so toxic from start to finish. I mean, I 1 million percent think she's the asshole. You're a guest. Yes. You show up. If you're a vegetarian or gluten free or all this shit or you have allergies, like the mother-in-law said, bring your own food. Right. It's real simple.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Am I the asshole for ruining my husband's Christmas? My husband is the breadwinner and I'm a stay at home mom. As a result, I don't have what they call fun money or money to spend however I want. My husband gives me money only to spend on the house or the kids, but that's that. I might borrow money here and there or try to figure something out if I needed essential stuff like hygiene products.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
This Christmas, my husband gave me $600 as my Christmas gift. I freaked out thinking I now have to get him a decent gift to match his. So I went shopping and got him the most affordable thing on his wish list, which was $180 pair of sneakers. I didn't show him the gift until we visited his parents' house for Christmas.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And when it was time for gift opening, he opened the gift, saw the sneakers and looked extremely, extremely upset like he was about to blow up. I asked him what's up, and he asked why in the hell I decided to waste money and get him sneakers. I said it's all I could afford, and he literally lashed out and said, bullshit, I gave you $600.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
That's about the right price for a new gaming console, and it was right there at the top of my wish list. Wow.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Pump the brakes. Because I remember for years, I would buy my dog gifts and I would wrap them up. And I was browbeat, ridiculed, shamed, ostracized. It was really bad. And now you're telling me that you've purchased gifts for your dogs and wrapped it up.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
This is why I think it is so important for women to make their own money because it's a nice idea to be a stay-at-home mom, but ultimately you are beholden to somebody else. That's right. The spouse can say all they want to, know it's ours, it's 50-50. But when rubber hits the road, the person who is the earner immediately starts tightening those reins, immediately.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And if it starts with financial abuse, then we know it probably goes on more. Obviously, he's not only just an asshole, he's a controlling, sadistic prick on top of that.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay, am I the asshole for not wanting coal for Christmas? This year I went to my fiance's house for Christmas. It was my first time going as we would typically go to my family's house instead. I got a rather pricey gift for my fiance, Dan. I got nice gifts for Dan's parents based off things I'd talked about with them before. And I got a small pack of chocolates for each of Dan's other relatives.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I wasn't expecting many gifts from Dan's relatives because I didn't know any of them that well, but I was certainly expecting more than I got. At first, I was excited when I saw that there was a big pile of gifts for me. However, once I opened the first one, it was just a piece of coal.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Everyone laughed and I just kind of laughed along thinking it was a gag gift and the other gifts would be different. But every single one turned out to be coal, all 18 of them. I started to get upset, so I cried and lashed out at Dan.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
He explained that apparently this is a longstanding tradition in his family where they gift coal to newcomers who are celebrating Christmas with them for the first time. He explained that it's just easier that way since all the relatives... who might not know the newcomer well. And it's fun experience for the newcomer as well.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I told Dan, I couldn't believe I skipped my own family celebration for this and left. But now Dan and some of his family are blowing up my phone saying I embarrassed him in front of his relatives. And then I made it awkward for everyone. So am I the asshole?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Don't you think? It's completely out of line. And I think that you're dating somebody and you probably see some red flags. And then if you go and you meet their entire family and they're all sadistic as well, then you realize like, oh, okay, I can either breed with this person and continue this generational sadism
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
or i can opt out and it's easy to say at our age sitting here doing this but it's crazy i did it it's crazy and you know you can see very clearly like everything that is toxic in somebody when you go to their parents house it's even more toxic there right and the fact that they are lack so much awareness that that might hurt her feelings that they're then telling her
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
All right. Here's the last one. Am I the asshole for putting my foot down and not allowing my mother-in-law to come for Christmas? My mother-in-law is a horrible person who loves to create drama wherever she can. Last Christmas, we got both of our kids different gifts because one was a 13 year old girl and one was a 10 year old boy.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yes, we have. But anytime I get to take another victory lap on it, you know me, I'm way too much of a sore winner to not take that opportunity. You are not a gracious winner. Gracious loser, yes. Yeah. No, I'm way too bad of a sore winner to not... Totally browbeat you about that.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
My mother-in-law decided to tell my daughter that she didn't get as many gifts as my brother and and that we spent less on her, basically trying to get our daughter to believe that we loved her less. We then had to deal with a crying 13-year-old on Christmas. My mother-in-law has also bought super expensive gifts for people specifically to upstage everyone.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
She will even make a point of mentioning it in front of people how much the gift costs. She called up to ask what we would be doing for Christmas since it's our turn to host. I then decided to put my foot down and told my wife that I do not want her at our house starting drama on Christmas.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
My wife is completely against it and thinks I'm being incredibly cruel to her mom and doesn't want to exclude her.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I agree. I think that that is the way a lot of mothers-in-law should be treated. Absolutely. I think that you have to put a boundary up because so many mothers-in-law think that they can just have free reign into their adult children's lives and show up and boss everybody around and
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Be involved in all the minutia that goes on in a family and it's enmeshment and it's toxic and it's really, really, really sick in my opinion. And I think this guy, this dad saying, I'm not going to be a part of this crazy. I'm not going to be a part of this toxic stuff.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I don't want her in my house is the best example that he could send for his children to say, your grandmother, we love her, but she's toxic and I'm not allowing this in our space.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And, you know, this is the type of mother-in-law that, you know, is probably – Lots of snide comments. When it's not just the gifts, you know it's just snide comment after snide comment after snide comment.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah. That's who you're dealing with here. If I lived here, I would have put the sofa over here. It's interesting that you chose to put it in front of the fireplace and not perpendicular to the fireplace.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Hip hip hooray to that guy. No, I do too. I think that's so incredibly healthy. And then, you know, I always think if my kids... choose to have kids. Like my parents have set a really good example. Like they are not high maintenance. They do not tell us how to live our lives. They don't tell us how to spend our money.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
They, throughout all of the stuff that I've gone through with Josh have been nothing short of supportive. When they come over, they stay about 45 minutes. And then they leave and we talk on the phone about once a week. It is like it is there is just there's boundaries. And when I see them, I thoroughly enjoy them. And they're just not involved in the minutia of how we raise our kids.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
All of those things are left solely on me because their only job is to be a grandparent. And as my dad says, being a grandparent is just pure joy. He just gets to experience the joy of being a grandparent. He doesn't have to worry about the rearing, the disciplining, getting involved in all the minutia of our lives. And I just it's I hope I think I will.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I think that I'll take that lead because, you know, I'm already feeling with Roman being a senior like I've raised my kids. I'm already feeling that immensely. Like they need to go and make their screw ups in young adulthood. And I'm not going to jump in front of them unless it's something clearly egregious.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
The whole thing where I'll see parents like Roman being a senior and they'll go – Isn't it so sad? And I'm like, it really isn't. That burden that people put on mothers to feel some sort of sadness because their child has made it to 18, I think is so unfair. And I think the language surrounding that needs to change because I'm not sad about it.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay. I don't really know if this is a had it, but it's just an observation that we've never discussed. Okay. And I think we need to analyze it and talk about it. Sometimes, you know, you can see a baby, a toddler or a teen. And by virtue of the adjective in which I just used to describe them, baby, toddler, tween or teen, they're young. Right.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I'm really happy for the boys that they've, young men that they've become. And I enjoy adult children. The conversations are better. A lot better. The interactions are better.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Okay. I found a wonderful video that I'd like to share with our listener. Okay. Viewers. And this will be our Christmas theme song for sure.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
It's fantastic. And it is just a great way to end our Christmas episode because there's so much bullshit, especially from women towards other women. Like when we start this podcast, oh my God, they cuss too much. It's never men. It's always these uptight, crotchety, crusty white women. And there's all this judgment that they sit in.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And I love these ladies right here, close to our age, just saying, try not to be a cunt. It's Christmas. And I just love that. And I want to say Merry Christmas to all of the uncrusty, fabulous listeners that we have and to all of the crusty, uptight, wound up like a cheap clock. Get your panties in a wad because somebody cussed. Try not to be a cunt this Christmas. Just try. I know it'll be hard.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
But sometimes you see a particular one of these and they already look old. Like you can see a toddler sometimes and all of a sudden your brain can jump to seeing them being – 45, hungover as shit, broken capillaries all over their nose. And you just think, this child right here is heading to a life of heartache. And the child might not even be misbehaving, but there's just something about them.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
So I was at one of my son's basketball games last weekend. And there was a kid on the opposing team. And he comes out. And I mean, he's probably 17, 18. He looked 49.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Not wrinkly, but just... Do you not know what I'm talking about? Have you not ever seen like a toddler, a baby, a tween, or a teenager? And you immediately can jump to seeing them as an adult. Immediately.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
No, it's just, there's this whole affect that comes off of them that it's, it's already weathered. It's in, they, they're youthful, but like the kid in question on the opposing team, he's probably 17 or 18. But if somebody told me he was 42, I would have been like, yeah, okay. That checks out. They should be checking birth certificates at these basketball games, but whatevs. That's so interesting.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yeah. And it's unfortunate. And you see it. You can see it in any of those age groups that I've shown you. You can see a 12-year-old that already looks like hammered dog shit. You can see a toddler. These hammered dog shit toddlers, you immediately know, oh, God, they are so screwed. And then the teens.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
You know, the thing about babies is... In general, a really beautiful baby is incredibly rare.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
It is a very rare thing that you see a baby that's total Gerber baby. Right. Where you're like, oh, my God, this baby is gorgeous. And despite statistically there not being that many beautiful babies, it's
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
The delusion that so many people are under that their babies are beautiful evidenced by the chronic sustained posting of all of these ugly babies is something that is just never really addressed.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I think that there's a lot of ugly babies. There's a lot. The vast majority of babies are ugly. And when I get on the internet, sometimes I feel like my feed is just ugly babies. Right. I'm like in the ugly baby algorithm. Yeah. And I need to be out of that because maybe they turn in to be cute or maybe you just get so used to seeing how ugly they are. Yeah. Anything.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
The ugliness gets desensitized and you just can't take it anymore. So it's like, let's fake it till we make it. I'm just going to start saying this baby's cute.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
You're an ugly baby enabler. Right. See, I don't say so cute. I go, oh, my gosh, look at that baby. Right.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Oh my gosh. Look at that little baby. What a little guy. What a little gal that is. Wow. Look at those little hands. Look at that little nose.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I have some blood relative babies. Two of my blood – two of my – Yeah, the blood relative babies, I mean – And they're attractive babies as evidenced by the DNA sharing. I was just going to say, did we think that anything less would happen given that you're in the bloodline? I'll tell you what, I don't think I was that cute of a baby.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Here's the thing. I think that is a ball humbug city. Unwrapping the gifts. You can dress up like Christmas all you want to today. You're a ball humbug. No, I have two trees up. My house is lit up like an intercontinental ballistic missile of gay pride lights. I have the black nutcracker. Which is fabulous. He's purchased. He's up.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I have this really faint birthmark right here in between my eyebrows that's red like a port wine stain. And it's completely faded now. But when I was born, it was very pronounced. So I had like a red skunk mark. Right here. And I think when I would cry, it would really heat up and it would get even redder. But as I aged, it faded and faded. But I'm sure that that wasn't very attractive.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Yes. All right. Welcome to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Ho, ho, ho. She is all dressed up for Christmas. I did not dress up for Christmas because she sucks. I do not have to Monday morning quarterback on the Christmas episode as though I've not been in the Christmas spirit this whole time. And you everybody can pull all the tapes me. Somebody's talking about hating rapping.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Somebody's talking about hating Christmas carols. Somebody's talking about Christmas decorations. Somebody's fighting exhaustively with her Christmas light installer. And so I think the permanent record reflects that you can dress up all you want to and pretend. like you are a big fan of Christmas, but we know that you hate it. We know that you hate the birthday boy.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
We know that you hate birthday parties. Right. We know. We know. Well, I'm just going to tell you, it's lipstick on a pig right here. You got it. All right. Kylie. Hi. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. What's going on on the internet?
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I like the son flipping her off. See, that's the content I want because it's real. It's real. It is 100% real. I like it. It is original. All of the matching photos, it lacks... originality. It's breathtakingly uncreative, genuine. It just, when I see it, I'm like, yeah, every other fucking moron had the exact same idea.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And I wrap each gift individually and I tie a beautiful bow on it because the unwrapping is a huge part of the process. You can't just start giving people unwrapped gifts. What if I said they were from Santa? Yeah. Well, everybody knows Santa's not real. And kids that are listening to our podcast, I'm sorry that I just blew the whistle on that. But your parents shouldn't let you listen to us.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I still think a Christmas registry. I think a registry is completely over the top, even to the parents. Put it in a text and text it for God's sake. Well, that's true. I was going to say, I'm sorry. I always want a Christmas list. I just think the registry is wildly over the top. I think that what we have here is, oh my God, this is a pick-me-up. situation. It is so humiliating and embarrassing.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
And it makes me a lover of Christmas, a celebrator of the holiday, not afraid to say, hey, happy birthday, big guy. I know I'm not a believer, but I'm all chips in on the party. It makes me so mad that I want to jump over to haterade side of the table.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Caw, caw, caw, caw. Maybe ho, ho. Ho, ho. Caw, caw. Ho, ho, ho. Ho, ho, ho.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
and not put up a tree, and take down my gay pride Christmas lights, and put away my black nutcracker, and all of the things I did for this big birthday party, knowing that some narcissist made a Christmas gift registry at the age of 29, if my child did this, I would pull them aside and sit them down and say, I am an abject thug. failure.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
Why don't you just go and change your voter registration right now, buy a Stanley Cup, and just go full-blown MAGA, you piece of shit. I failed. Just go all the way over. Just go all the way off the edge right now. I can't take it for one more second. That's what I would do with my kids.
I've Had It
Am I the Christmas A**hole?
I just, I think that we have to stop at some point, just text the link, but actually filling out your registry list. I'm sorry. I'm going to push back and I'm going to be the resistance to this because I think it is so crazy, over the top, ridiculous. The best thing that's happened to Josh and me is our kids. And I'll tell you why.
I've Had It
Total Bullsh*t with Rahm Emanuel
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
everything else all the way to the flea market all the way to the flea market
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Well, I don't think there's any question about that. Here's the only thing that kills me about it. The only thing I'm not good at in terms of what that list was like really terrible at is determining what's satire and what's real. We've become this world where half the shit that's real I think is satire.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
So she accidentally responded to what she thought was her friend and started describing how she didn't think she could go out with him again because he had this weird odor that he had this smell on his breath that was like vomit. And he was cute enough and entertaining, but it was just this reek smell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah. In Trump's America, it's hard to know facts from fiction. All right.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And if you knew her, you would know that she would go on and on in describing exactly the smell. Yeah. Then she hits send and she realizes it was to him. And she runs into like the computer room. It's like, you have to get it back. You're like, you can't get it back. And he just responded. I guess we won't be seeing each other again.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when internet stalking goes so wrong. And this happened to me very recently. I have a few accounts that just for my own personal amusement that I stalk. Yeah. Because I'm just like, I cannot believe this is on the internet. Like they put it on there. Not like hidden camera. Yeah.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And normally they're fine. You just, hey, sorry, that was the wrong text thread. I have talked about somebody, like we were in a group text and And then I went off with another person in the group text and started talking about one of the people on the group text and accidentally sent it to the group text. So she knew what I was saying about her. Yeah.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Yeah, I wasn't near as upset about it as the other people I was texting with that were just like, I did it. And then I hopped in the shower and I get out and my phone is blown up. Oh my God, you sent that in the wrong text and my phone's ringing. And I'm like, well, all right. How bad was it? What'd you say? I think I said she was cheap and obnoxious, which to be fair, she was.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I have a hard time sometimes identifying what my value is in certain situations though. Like what, like, is it fear? Am I reacting out of fear? Am I reacting out of hurt? Am I reacting out of just not wanting to do it? Like, so sometimes I have a hard time, like, like when you were saying identifying your value, like safety, I'm like going through the list and I'm thinking... Okay. Yeah.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
That makes perfect sense. What I've seen that I'm, I know you have the five second rule on the instinct. My instincts are terrible, Mel. So I'm just, I don't think that's true.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
The way she explains it, I'm kind of in on manifesting. It's a huge turnaround, but it does make sense. I can go either way.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
The way she set it out where you just don't put yourself on the tarmac with your jet and you envision the work, that makes a lot more sense to me.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
You don't see on Instagram when she has her working bags and her matching Rolls Royces, all of the low jobs and all the shit she had to do to get there. Or whatever.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
And the other day, I was going through one of my stalker accounts, and I liked it. I liked it. And now they know that I stalked them, and it's so embarrassing. You liked their post? Yes. I was trying to enlarge it, and I liked it.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Can I just interject? She had the bath because she has mats and dandruff. Right. She needed a bath. Okay. But dandruff.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
The medical bath was a shave job. There was no bath. It was a haircut. It was a haircut. And I just thought it was so funny because it was startling. It was like, oh my gosh. Well, you can imagine my surprise.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I take exception to the term everybody because we have one person in your house that didn't. I know. Tell them what he said to the vet when they came to do our senior blood work.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Nope. She's great. In fact, when I heard the vet talking, I was hoping she said we checked for kidney markers. And I thought, there we go. Yeah. Kidney failure. Kidney. We got some kidney issues with the old cat. Nope. Came out smelling like a rose. Strong kidney.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
I didn't even know diabetes could go in remission, to be real honest. This cat is amazing.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Do you think I should put the cat down? Yes. But that doesn't mean I want you to kill the cat. That's exactly what that means. Well, it means to go to the vet. It's exactly what it means. You just don't like how direct it is. I just don't like to kill. What is euthanasia? What is it? I mean, it's death. I get that, but it's not.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Sure enough. Yeah. And see, I've done that to Emily's phone, my daughter's phone, like two or three times. And she gets so mad. Child abuse. And I'm just like, oh, whatever. Who cares? That is child abuse. But when I did it to myself, I was just like, okay, I owe her an apology because it's really bad. Because it's like the minute you see the heart, you're like... Oh, it's humiliating.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Not you personally, but I think you should just hurry the vet along. This reminds me.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Demi Moore? Demi Moore. Jack Nicholson. I love Demi Moore. Or is it Nichola? Jack Nicholson. Is it Nicholson? Somebody's a golfer. Nicholson. Nicholson. Jack Nicholson. Yeah, he's fabulous. Nicholas is the golfer. Yeah, Demi Moore's fabulous.
I've Had It
Let Them be A**holes
Oh, my God. Did I ever tell you about the time one of my dearest girlfriends forever? It was when email first came out and she was emailing at work and an email from a guy that she dated came in. And at the same time, an email from her friend saying how was the date came in.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And you know what? You're exactly right because it was performative because I watched that motherfucker the whole rest of the time I was at the gym. He never took one sip out of that water bottle.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Right. And you know what? I just keep thinking because we've talked about this recently. Those little bitty differences in my former life, in my former thought pattern, it was the little comments that maybe I didn't react to in the moment, but that I ruminated on. And so those are the kind of comments that maybe people will second guess what they're saying.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Maybe they don't even realize what they're saying when they're saying it. But if you take – if you're called out in a situation like that, not saying you have to be aggressive or rude, but just that's unacceptable, that's very demeaning, race, something like that, then maybe that person will start looking at that better.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Because I feel like that's how it kind of started for me was the internal dialogue. So, you know, that gives me some hope because I have control over that. Right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Right. And have you noticed an uptick in misogyny? Just little comments? Since Trump took office, I don't know if I'm just more sensitive to it now. I'm paying more attention because I anticipated with his history with women, with his administration, you know, that he's surrounded himself with, that I anticipated this. But I feel like I'm hearing more little remarks like on the radio and stuff.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety. vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Everyone knows how much we love our pets here at I've Had It podcast. And there is something really exciting for cat owners because we know cat owners do everything to keep their cats healthy. The best treats, the best food, the best toys, and of course, using pretty litter. It's the best litter and a total game changer.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
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I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
He says he can tell a total difference in the smell of his home. Right now, save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy at prettylitter.com slash hadit. That's PrettyLitter.com slash had it to save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy. PrettyLitter.com slash had it. Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
A diagnosis can only come from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details. This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. You chose to hit play on this podcast today, Smart Choice. Progressive loves to help people make smart choices.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's why they offer a tool called Auto Quote Explorer that allows you to compare your progressive car insurance quote with rates from other companies. So you save time on the research and can enjoy savings when you choose the best rate for you. Give it a try after this episode at progressive.com. Progressive Casualty Insurance and Affiliates, not available in all states or situations.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
People are so dumb. They're so dumb. Yeah. I mean, it just, that... I mean, it's flat. When you pull into a Zoom, am I right? When you pull into a Zoom, it has your name on it. I mean, you can see it.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I really like about that is that the judge is like, you're going to go sit at the back of the line because the lines in court like that are hours and hours and he has to sit there and figure it out. This whole thing, I mean, it reminds me of like when everybody was during COVID, like people caught at work masturbating on their... Oh, yeah. And I'm just like... You can't wait till the Zoom's over.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Beating the meat. On Zoom. I mean, I get it. Like if your kid or your wife walks by in the back or something like that. But to sit there and masturbate when you're on a Zoom with other people and you know it seems to me to be incredibly risky. Right. Well, I don't think there's any question about it.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Like, it's just, it's so stupid. You could have waited 15 minutes, Zoom's over.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Exactly. Like you might think, God, I wish we'd go back to that. Right. Holding a grudge for 20 years. Jealous that she was a doting mother. I think he, you know what he gets in my book, Thumbs Down. Well, he's just a titty baby. Titty baby. baby. I mean, they're your children and you're mad that your wife's giving more attention. Let's just talk about this.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
When they're having the cold war, they have another kid. That's the crazy part. They have another kid during no talking, which I mean, obviously you can do. All right. Let me ask you this. Okay.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Okay. It's interesting that you bring this up because it was quite the point of interest at the graduation.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
What you're missing is that Emily, our daughter, had on a yellow dress. So I walk into the party and she immediately says, we're twinning. And I look down and I'm like, I have on jeans, she has on a dress. And she's like, we're both wearing yellow. I'm like, okay, yeah. So I'm sitting there talking and My ex-husband walks in, he's got a yellow shirt on.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Immediately, every single person in the group with whom I'm talking says, oh my gosh, did you guys plan this? You guys are twinning. Did you call each other? And I was like, oh my God. You know, I was just like, wow, that's weird, whatever. So then I go outside and I had three people outside that don't know me as well as the people inside me. So is yellow your family's color?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And I was like, we have been divorced for years. We are not wearing the same thing by design. Three people. All right, let's get to the neck cutting.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
He was trying to make like, ha ha, isn't this great? I'm like, people wear yellow all the time. Like I was just having no part of it. I didn't find it cute. It wasn't a pale yellow. I mean, you guys were wearing bright yellow. Honking yellow. I mean, it was bold. It was yellow. And here's what made me so mad about it. I had just bought that shirt that day and I loved that yellow shirt.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Will you ever wear it again? Absolutely. I'm not letting him ruin my yellow shirt. But here's the irony. So the next night was the actual graduation. And I thought about wearing a green shirt. And I even had the green shirt on. Decided, no, I don't want to wear that. So I wore something else. I see him and I show up and he's wearing green, a green shirt. We would have been twins two times.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I agree with you a hundred percent. I think that the, and we've talked about it ad nauseum, but the more you have to tell people and let them know, yes, I'm straight or yes, I'm this or yes, I'm not. It's an internal dialogue. You're telling yourself and you're trying to convince other people. And I completely agree. I think the personal experience lends credence to what we've been talking about.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
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I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
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I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
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I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
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I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I did not know this was happening. Have you ever heard this? Oh, yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Right. And I think it's perpetuated by social media, but I'm just going to say this. Everybody that thinks they're so super special because they have a birthday, you really aren't because everybody has a birthday. Everybody all day long has birthdays.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yours is not a national holiday, except mine was for a time because the courthouse would be closed on my birthday for President's Day a couple times. So I thought maybe it was on my account, but everybody has a birthday.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Here's the deal. I would have said you look so hot. I would have been like, okay.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah, I find that to be, first of all, I'm dying to see, I'm dying for you to find it.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
um that's funny i think what if about if you just put a picture of your birthday if like you want if you were dying to show everybody your body in a bikini and just be like this is me at 48 look pretty good i would even go for that more than all the other just happy birthday to me okay let's move on from that cali who's next okay up next we've got libby
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
You don't think they all get a participation trophy in Europe because they're so special?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I have been guilty of that, though, to my kids. Not you're unique, but just like, oh, that's so special. You're really special. Especially when they were little. I was... Mark me down as a contributor to the problem. I don't do it now, but I did do it. Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Yeah. I remember my mom saying to me, nobody's thinking about like, well, I can't wear that. I've already worn it. And her going, nobody's remembering what you're wearing. They're worried about what they're wearing. And that is so true. And I was really good about saying that to my kids because in general, nobody really gives a fuck what you're doing. They care about what they're doing.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Fucking had it. I 100% agree. Like sometimes you cannot give anything but an unmitigated apology. This, I'm so sorry. And of course, everybody has extenuating circumstance in every situation. But an unmitigated apology is few and far between. I totally agree.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And you're really good about that. Well, I just think it takes away from the apology in the mind of the person receiving it. If you're like, I'm sorry, but it's like, but you just have to be sorry. And just say you're going to do better. I think that's a great point. I'm going to try to do better. Yeah. The best you can ask for. That's a really good point.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I love it so much that you take it over in the jet bridge. They're going down in the jet bridge. I probably would have assumed it went into the airport, but you're just like, we're not even fucking around.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I like it. You know, it is always striking to me how everybody is like when they say, OK, we're getting ready to board the next plane. People like run up like the plane's going to leave without him. Like it's fine. Like everybody's going to get on and people just cram immediately. All right.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Okay, what I've had it with is line hoggers. So I'm at the gym the other day. There's three of us that all walk to the water machine at the same time. This other gal and I grab the little cups they provide. This guy pulls out of nowhere, like a one liter container. And while we stand there... He fills his entire thing up. And I felt like the appropriate thing to do would be to say, go ahead.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
You know what I thought just now when you said that? What I should have said is, boy, you have a big water bottle. Are you overcompensating for something? Yeah, that'd go over real well. Right. Especially because he was probably mad. Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, the head beaver in charge of the most DEI-friendly podcast on planet Earth.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Really throw them off. Yes. That's great. Or a subject you can put. Something, something, something. Kylie. Yeah.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
And I bet you on Trump's gifted plane, I bet you there are no pronouns on that flight, only security infiltration devices. What do you think? You think the flight attendant says she, her on Trump's plane?
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
Well, I'll tell you what Jesse Water stands for. Men should not drink out of straws. That's what his big commitment to society.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
This is going to take a while. But no, he sat there and we were both rolling. I mean, who does that? Lack of self-awareness, just hogging everything. I think you have to have more self-awareness in line.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's a great review. I didn't know we were celebrating Confederate flags in Mississippi. They've been celebrating them since the Civil War. I know, but officially... It never stopped. I know, but I just... Officially licensed by... Yes. But it never stopped. No, it doesn't. Now I hear they want to resegregate schools.
I've Had It
Titty Baby Nation
That's exactly right. And that's such a good point about the silence. Because if you hear something like that, your general gut reaction is just ignore it. But if you just say, I don't think that's appropriate. I find it racist. Yeah. And leave it at that. You're not looking for a big topic. You're not looking to change anybody's mind. You're just saying that's not okay for me.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
He absolutely did. You say exceed expectations. I'm taking it another notch. Whatever my expectations are, they're not even going to be met. They're going to be so low.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Yeah. Yeah. So that's my new thing. We'll see if I can do it. It's going to be my end of year resolution instead of my new year resolution. I like it. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
That is why I love Uncommon Goods. Uncommon Goods provides such an array of different choices made by small and independent artists and businesses. You can find the perfect thing for everyone and they'll even personalize it.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Okay, Billy, I have a question for you. How do you feel about Christmas decorations up before Thanksgiving?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
What have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is high expectations. I've decided, you know, that the saying, the cliche is comparison is the thief of joy. I think high expectations are the thief of joy. And I look back at my life. Anybody I had really high expectations for? disappointed. 10 out of 10. So my new, I'm going to start my new year's resolution right now before the new year.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I always thought that too. I love daylight savings because I like to go to bed super early. So, I mean, I like to crawl in bed about 6 p.m. and it's dark out. I'm so happy. I'm with pumps.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Yes, it has. But I was going to say, do you think it is related to Chick-fil-A?
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
The misspelling of chick, because isn't Chick-fil-A C-H-I-C? Because every time I spell it, like what I'm like, if I'm texting my kids, what do you want from Chick-fil-A? I always have to, it always auto-corrects me.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
pumps you cannot eat hate chicken number two it is spelled c-h-i-c-k is it short for chicken okay well it's a popular mandela effect that people think it's spelled differently than c-h-i-c-k but you're correct it's c-h-i-c-k short for chicken okay see i'm wrong this whole time another disappointment i have not even met my own expectations
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And I've fallen under your expectations that I would know how to spell chick as in Chick-fil-A because I always thought it was C-H-I-C.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Oh, I'm excited. Yeah, I've been seeing that coming out and I was like, I definitely want to see that because I loved The Lion King. I loved it on Broadway. I loved the movie. I love everything about it. So I'm excited.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
He could not be a bigger doll. And he's a great podcast guest. I loved him.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
No, and I haven't eaten hate chicken in a long time. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Meemaw meat curtains slash not eating at hate chicken, just for the record.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And I think. It sounds cliche, but I mean, coming together as a community is probably what's going to get us through, honestly. It's the only thing that'll get us through. And laughing and being able to be normal in a world that's not normal.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
I mean, where has this been for the last 20 years? This is so necessary. It's so needed. And I believe the only way to stop... I mean, just lawlessness with boarding groups is shaming him.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Okay, here's what I was thinking. How about I'm the voice? On the American Airlines thing. So if you board wrong, if you try to skirt the system and you're in group eight and you're trying to go in group two, I would love to volunteer my voice to say, it's not your boarding group. Sit your ass down. What do you think about that? Very selfless.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
And it's going to be expect the worst from all people in every situation always. So I can't be disappointed. So I'm, I'm done with high expectations. I'm It will soften my disappointment in the human race. And I really think I'm going to be good at it because I borderline am super cynical. That's just the next step I need to take it over to a complete cynical bitch. So I'm close.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
So this is a goal I think I can absolutely handle.
I've Had It
If That's Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right
Jennifer, I'm slow to the party in a lot of things. You would have thought after my marriage. That's what I'm thinking. High expectations would have been a thing of the past. That it wouldn't even be something that I even considered ever. Yeah. But during COVID, I watched Hallmark movies because I wanted a happy ending. Something is wrong with me. I'm the problem.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And, of course, there's no space for anybody who wouldn't fit into a binary system. Right. And I have two boys and you have two boys. And I talk to my boys, I would say, at least probably twice a month about what type of information they're consuming. Because I see...
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
that I have as the primary female in their lives right now, that I have a massive responsibility to do check-ins with them because of the rising misogyny and to talk about what they're viewing and what is out on the internet right now because it...
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Sometimes I think human beings like settle into a default setting or they're broken and they find some sort of fucked up toxic comfort in that type of space. And I always do check-ins with my boys to make sure that they're okay because one's 18, one's 22. And that's like prime age, prime testosterone. And I would just feel like an absolute abject failure if my kids...
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
watched or consumed any of that and then just to do a check I go and check who they're following online and I check like are they following Barstool Sports are they following Joe Rogan are they following any of these you know oligarchs and they aren't and that makes me so incredibly happy because I want them
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I believe the purest form of masculinity is standing up for everybody and putting their needs before your own.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I kind of did it out of order. That's okay. I know you're probably like, what's she doing? And listener, I forgot. I went straight to the news stories and I abandoned Catherine. Catherine is here today. Catherine. Hello. I'll do a quick read of some reviews for you. Okay. First of all, how are things going in the lesbian corner of the world? They're going pretty good. Things are all right.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Today, we have a guest. She is host of the Comment Section podcast and author of the New York Times bestselling book, Loud. Drew... afuolo afuolo afuolo kylie afuolo afuolo drew afuolo it's spelled a-f-u-a-l-l drew see and i'm i'm glad that she did the review where it covered that the dei in our dimension dei podcast stands for dementia right so drew won't be offended she'll understand
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
All right, let's welcome to I've Had It, Drew. Drew, pronounce your last name for us. We had a dementia moment trying to pronounce it before you came on.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Okay, you call out misogynists online. Is that right? I sure do. I love that. We need more of that, especially in Trump's America.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And let me ask you this, do you then get a lot of misogynists that pile on?
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Okay. And then you have talked about not having it with places that don't have central air conditioning.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
OK, I have a counter idea about this. Sure. When I'm in Europe for longer than probably like 12 days and I get acclimated to the air conditioning not being 62 degrees blowing on you or you're freezing your tits off in August inside. I get acclimated to it and then I quite like it. And then when I come back home and it's August, it's 110 degrees outside.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And then I go into a store or a restaurant and I have to have a sweater because it's so fucking cold. And then I think, oh, my God, like we are out of control with air conditioner. I think we're completely excessive about it.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
It's shocking when you first go because in America, everything's so spread out. Everything's so big. The cars are big. Parking lots are big. All the spaces are gigantic. When you go out to dine, there's a lot of space between you and the next table. And then you get to Europe and it's like everything is the size of a postage stamp. And it's really jarring at first.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I remember growing up in the 80s as a child in the Reagan era. And there was really a lot of taut nationalism there. that I wasn't really privy to because it was just taught to me. USA is great, capitalism is great, Ronald Reagan is great.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And then when I was in high school, I went to Europe and I had always been told that we were the greatest place in the world, that basically in my stupid ethnocentric American mind, I thought every other place outside of America, my 14 year old self thought was just some shit hole. So I arrive in Germany, my sister lived there and I was just like, oh my God, it's so beautiful here.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And they have all of the modern amenities the same as we do. And it was a very shocking thing because I'd been so indoctrinated in United States public schools to think that we were the best and we were so elite and we were so exceptional. And it was just bullshit. Yeah.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And that's another part of the problem. I went to a high school with 2000 people and maybe 15 were black. And I graduated in 1992. So no diversity at all. No exposure to what the black experience was like compared to my white experience. And there was no we grew up in Oklahoma and we were not taught in public schools about the Tulsa race riots. Can you believe that?
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
In our state, I did not find out about that until I was an adult. And Tulsa is an hour and a half away from us.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And don't you think that you said that people will say, oh, I'm just joking, that that is a classic move of abusers to- Absolutely. To- abuse you and insult you. And then when you defend yourself or stand up for yourself or call it out, then they minimize your attempt to fight for yourself. And I think that I think that is at the epicenter of white supremacy and of the whole MAGA movement.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Yeah, absolutely. Anytime you criticize anything they do, they diminish you and, oh, you call this a racist or, oh, you're virtue signaling. They have about four or five go-tos that they can, you know, that they can, or you're a libtard. And they go to these four to five little moves. But I think it's so, such the...
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
sign of an abuser when they minimize, minimize your feelings when you're standing up for yourself. I'll tell you, oh, that wasn't a big deal. I think that is such pervasive abuse that happens to women and minorities and marginalized groups all the time. You see that on the internet.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Have you? Yes. I do the self-checkout most of the time now because it's less interaction. Right. And I have the utmost respect for any checker. Sometimes you can fall prey to idle chit-chat with fellow people in line. And I want to avoid that. So the self-checkout is my go-to. But years ago, I think I was at Target, which I know we're boycotting Target now. And I'm happy to boycott Target. Right.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
This is kind of what we're... We have another podcast called IHIP News, which is political. And I'm ready to enter for progressive people to enter the fuck you politics era. Yeah. You know, I think that we're in a post... decency world, sadly, but it's where we are. And that's what this moment requires. It requires for us to say, you don't want to stand up for all Americans. Fuck you.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
That's what we're going to do. I think you're a piece of shit, but you're lucky because my vote encompasses that policies will... factor everyone in. But personally, I think you're a piece of shit. And I want nothing to do with you. But my vote protects you because I'm not as big a piece of shit that you are.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And I wish that Democratic politicians would start sharpening this type of language and not move to the center. Because I think it is a this is a moment. This is a historical moment where people like you, based on what you said, what you look like, are going to feel this and feel the fear and feel the anxiety more than somebody who looks like pumps or me. And you, as white women, we have a choice.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
We can be allies with people and we can try to learn and we can try to understand the history of this country and we can try to fight for everybody's kids. Or we can be pieces of shit that submit to our husbands and make sure that he's in a great tax bracket because we're fiscally conservative. I'm fiscally conservative. My hairdresser's gay. But I mean, I'm fine with that.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
But I'm fiscally conservative. So we vote for Trump. And I just want to go, fuck you, Carol.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I think the most insidious and harmful forms of racism are the silent acquiescence where people know. and they know that somebody is overtly racist and they go along with it and just don't bring it up and pretend like that racism doesn't exist and they provide a permission structure, especially if the racist knows that you're progressive.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
for their moral duplicity. However, I remember this checkout girl saying, you've got about 10 items too many here. You're going to have to haul it right over here. Of course, it was a black lady because black women are the best at taking care of everything.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
knows that you're open-minded and then you allow space for them in your life knowing that they hold those views i think that is a really dangerous insidious uh form of racism and i agree the person that enables it is holds closet racism themselves that they're not ready to reconcile and living in a red state i see this quite a bit and i see this as particularly with white women and homophobia
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And it really bugs the shit out of me that a lot of women that I know claim to care about LGBTQ plus rights, claim they're not racist, but they're triple Trumpers. Every goddamn time I could vote, they did it.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You're still bad. I think the most common form of misogyny that goes unchecked is when people say, I'm traditional. Or the woman will say, my husband's very traditional. And that is inherently puts you in a role where you're subservient to him, where you do the laundry, you do the dishes.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And I think for all of our young listeners, if a man says to you, I am traditional, traditional equals sexist, misogynist, homophobic, all this stuff. Right. You know, pumps, they're just certain things we have to buy and it's so annoying. And one of the things is big wireless. I feel like we're paying a ton of money once we have ourselves and our children all on a plan.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
It says it's going to be X and it ends up being triple that. Drives me bananas. That's why I'm so happy to share with our listeners our discovery of Mint Mobile.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Ditch overpriced wireless and get three months of premium wireless service from Mint Mobile for $15 a month. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
All right. I've had it with the war on science. Yeah, that's bad. The amount of people in the United States that probably haven't had a science class since high school that then get on the Internet. and act as though they're scientists or they know more than scientists, particularly when it comes to vaccines and the environment, it's just baffling to me.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
That's mintmobile.com. Had it. Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month, five-gigabyte plan required. That's the equivalent to $15 a month. New customer offer for first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees, extra. Cement mobile for details. Okay, we want to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Okay, period. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it. Social media breaks. Hit it. Cause I just took one. Did you announce to your followers that you were taking a break?
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Cause we did a whole episode or a whole segment on people that are like, I'm sorry guys, I'm just going to take a social media break, blah, blah, blah. And then like, you see them liking stuff during the break.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You know, the Mormons, have you seen these tick tocks? And it's like they go to Brigham Young University and they're like, would you rather kill a puppy? Oh, yeah.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Can you believe that? Like. We talked about this on an episode last week that there's a university full of kids that are tortured by making a decision like that and that it's a real place and it hasn't been shut down. I mean, that just blows my mind.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I love that that's your number one enemy, Jim bros. We've gone over patriarchy, but the number one enemy of Drew are these goddamn Jim bros. Yeah. Where they eat creatine and boiled chicken and rice.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And I can't understand, like, I don't really know that much about science, so I defer to the scientists. And the amount of people that just go and state their own scientific theories with zero research... zero scientific team other than just a thought they had. And then they just start free balling out on the internet. And I just think this is, we are living in the stupid era.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I know. I mean, I've had it too. And then there's this part of me, you know, I have, I'm 50, I have two sons, one 22, one 18. And there's just this worry, you know, this complete worry as to what's going to happen. to this place. And it's just, it's overwhelming being an American right now. It's just really overwhelming. And it's not lost on me that
I've Had It
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As overwhelmed as I feel, that impact is even more so for people that are marginalized. And so we get messages, emails, DMs, and we have a Patreon group. And a lot of the members of the Patreon group are LGBTQ+. And they're really terrified and scared and just feel so much anxiety and sleeplessness. And it's just, fuck, Drew. I mean, it's just like, I just want to be like, fuck, Drew.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You know, it just drives me crazy. And then we live around all these goddamn triple Trumpers and they just, they're just so fucking dumb. It just, it, it just, I just want to be like, you're a dumb ass. You're a dumb ass. You're a dumb ass. Shut the fuck up. Somebody go kick their ass. I mean, it's just.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
It's really, really sweet. And I, it's important. It's really important to me and to moms to call out. Especially we live in the buckle of the Bible belt, the white religious racist. And nobody is more white supremacist than white evangelicals and groups in churches. Absolutely. And that they claim to value Jesus Christ.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Girl, bye. Jesus, come get all the fucking racists and just fucking take them up. Get rid of them. All right. Drew, this has been so much fun. Thank you so much for the compliments.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Sometimes we get like, what the fuck are we doing? You know, and I'm sure you feel that too when you're online all the time. It can be toxic and taxing. And it takes a toll, but it's so important for all of the followers that you have and all of the followers that we have that they see people speak out, fight for them, stand up for what's right.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
You know, Pumps, sometimes I forget my age and I forget that I have aged and what I look like. And then my child that's away in college will FaceTime me and I see the picture of myself and I'm like, oh my God. That's why I am so happy to introduce to you and our listener Meaningful Beauty and how it was created to help you look and feel your absolute best.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
This is the stupid era. We used to value facts and value expertise and the diminishing, uh, respect of expertise really bothers me. And you see it from the top of the government trickled all the way down to these goddamn triple Trumpers. And they're the worst. These guys act like they have a PhD in virology and they fucking don't.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And listeners, you can find Drew on her podcast called The Comment Section, and she has a new book out called Loud. Drew, thank you so much for coming on our podcast. I hope we're friends now.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Y'all got a friend in me. Keep trying. Keep, keep at the fuck you bring to politics. That's what we're trying to bring.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I appreciate you too. She is a 10 out of 10. I really, really, really like her. And when I am around young people like her that fight for that and have such crystal clear clarity, it makes me hopeful for the future. And it also makes me see what a threat that group, that generation is for the white supremacist Republican maggot because she's smart.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Have you? Yes, because I've heard white people say stuff like, well, I mean, you know, I mean, I'm just not around black people that much, but I mean, I don't use the N word or anything. I've heard them express that caveat or I've heard people justify for family members that they don't use this word or that word. I've heard that a whole lot.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
But I have been actively in a diverse group of people the last 15 years. You've been in a very white, homogenous, Christian, Republican world. And the more and more you add some chocolate chips into your vanilla cookie, the better it gets. The better it gets. open your eyes become to all of the forms of racism that white people engage in. And to me, the worst is when people are racist apologists.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
That is the worst. When they apologize for racism or excuse it or don't call it out. That to me is the biggest sin of allies. Absolutely.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
All right. Listen, follow us on all the stuff. Follow Drew. And we'll see you guys. Pumps tell them. We'll see you next Tuesday or Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And now you've got measles out the wazoo and dipshit Marjorie Taylor Greene suggested that people throw measles parties. Yes, she did. To infect children so that they would get immunity. Can you imagine what a stupid idea that is from a stupid person who doesn't know anything about science? And like people die from measles.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
right or somebody they know and they love has been injured by or harmed by all of these policies but i mean it's keyboard courage out the wazoo until then and then when it impacts them their taxes are going to go up people they know are losing their jobs their health care could be in a precarious situation they're all about oh let's support our troops trump's firing you know 80 000
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
troops, veterans, etc. I mean, just annihilating the Department of Defense. And it just, it amazes me that the people who claim to have the most moral stance in the country are always the ugliest right below that veneer. I mean, just downright unattractive and ugly.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And for all of our listeners that are blue dots and red states, you see this on full display all of the time, this Stepford wife friendliness. And, oh, hi, hon. How you doing? And then right below it, just racism and just abject stupidity and meanness.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Facts are one of those things. You can accept them, and then you move on. And maybe you might not like the results of a fact, like that the Earth is round and rotates around the sun. But that is what it is. And every expert agrees that that's exactly what's happening. And the fact that somebody would want to fight something that is so verifiably... Proven. It's so easy to prove.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Like I remember when Donald Trump would fight about his inauguration, his first one. Yeah. And he would fight. It was the largest crowd size. It was the largest crowd size ever. And he kept going on about it for months. And he sent that pink arm Sean Spicer out there. And, you know, he had a conniption fit.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And it's just all you have to do is put up one photograph of Trump's, which is like limp dick. And then you put up one photograph of Barack Obama's, which is one of your favorite things. Hard rock cock. Hard rock cock. And the crowd size is just it's verifiable in 2.5 seconds. And I guess another thing that amazes me is that like you would want to die on a hill for Donald Trump.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And Pumps, if there's proof of the power of consistent age maintenance, You can look no further than Cindy Crawford.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
He really isn't. He's such a failure. It's amazing to me the juxtaposition of somebody who is such a massive failure that ascended to such a successful position, the juxtaposition of those two things. Take away his trust fund that he inherited, $500 million, and take away the white privilege. This guy would have been incarcerated forever. a long time ago, bankrupt, probably dead.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And he's able to mitigate all of that in the juxtaposition of what a failure he's been in everything. But again, back to the American public being so stupid that they think If somebody has money, regardless of how that money was attained, if they have money, then they are successful. And they must be good people like Elon Musk, like the worship of him is bizarre.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And then that everybody just believes that he's smart without doing any research about it. He did not invent Tesla. He did not invent Starlink. He is a taxpayer-funded billionaire. American taxpayers made him the wealth that he has. He would never have been able to do it without being subsidized by the American taxpayers. And it's just wild, the Elon worship.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
I love and use the 7-Piece Deluxe Face and Neck Skin Care System featuring effective serum treatments and creams formulated to work together to provide exactly what you need to achieve a more radiant, youthful appearance. Listener, tomorrow's gorgeous starts today. Go to meaningfulbeauty.com slash had it to receive 25% off and get the targeted treatment duo gift set for free.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
There's a lot of juicy tidbits that came out of that, like a lot of people that worked on The Apprentice. Said he's undoubtedly a racist, drops the N-word all the time. But most importantly, that he snorts Adderall and then poops his diaper all the time and that he stunk to high heaven. And it's source after source after source. And can you imagine, like, all of these alpha males, like –
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
What's his name? Zuckerberg. Remember he said he didn't want to feel neutered at work. Right. Which is such a bizarre thing to say. That he thinks masculinity is a man that shits his pants. With bad makeup. Yeah. Terrible makeup. It's crazy. Welcome to I've Had It, America's Top DEI Podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is Miss Beaver if you're nasty.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Miss Beaver if you're... I'm going to start saying that. Miss Beaver if you're nasty. Yes. Ms. Beaver, if you're nasty, okay, I have a couple of articles. Number one, research shows that taking women's advice leads to better decisions. Men who seek advice from women tend to make smarter financial and personal decisions, and science backs it up.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
A study in the Harvard Business Review found that women analyze more factors, assess risks differently, and prioritize long-term success, making their advice incredibly valuable in both business and life.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Yeah. I think that having women on shareholder boards and in positions of power in government is incredibly, incredibly helpful. Now, of course, there are always some women that you're like, like Marjorie Taylor Greene, Margaret Thatcher. Warren Boebert. Or as you like to say, Lauren Bobert. And I well, I was just thinking about the French spelling.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
But also, Margaret Thatcher, you know, she was one of the first women to ascend to such a high position. And She was a real, kind of like Reagan, demonized the poor, privatized everything. And a lot of the issues that still exist in the UK right now are because of Margaret Thatcher. So there is always a caveat and always an exception to this. But I think by and large, look at Mexico, Scheinbaum.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
She's amazing, incredible. And I think that when you have groups of white men in charge of things, a lot of shit happens.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Yeah. Or, I mean, just look at the Catholic church, look at the boy Scouts, look at that, you know, the Ohio wrestling team, the Penn state football team, you know, it's just, where were the women when you have a woman, there's a moderating moral force in that space. And I, you know, I, I just, I think that, I think that, uh, we should have listened to Hillary, uh, And Kamala.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
And that just makes me so sad because instead of everybody facing an incoming recession, which is coming, stock market is in a free fall. Vladimir Putin's basically on the inside of the government because people just wouldn't listen to women. And at the end of the day, as much as we've tried so hard, America is just really, really sexist.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Go to meaningfulbeauty.com slash had it to receive 25% off and get the targeted treatment duo gift set for free. Meaningfulbeauty.com slash had it. Ready? One, two, three. Welcome to America's Top DEI podcast starring Angela D. Beavers. Beaver. Are you plural or you're singular? Singular. I'm just one beaver. Yeah, that's right. Angie, what have you had it with? Miss Beaver, if you're nasty.
I've Had It
The Stupid Era
Okay. One more story. Um, This is... This is really a big, big thing. Yeah. Young boys and young men are getting horrible information online. And you have them listening to Joe Rogan. You have them listening to Peter Thiel and worshiping this type of misogynist, capitalistic worldview that is very anti-democratic and very anti-equitable for the genders.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Well, I think you're connecting some things that might not necessarily need to be connected here. I think they're talking about Gen Z. 18 to 25. And while a portion of that group would probably try to do all that alpha stuff, I think a lot of these kids are the overarching thing in their childhood is they were raised by cell phones.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And this is a far more consequential generational communicative breakdown that this generation is going to suffer from. And I think a lot of this alpha male stuff really is at worst with our generation, Gen Xers. I think Gen Xers are the worst at that stuff. I mean, Gen Z, they did not majority vote for Trump. And I think that their generation does seem to have more empathy.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
They do seem to have... less care about people's sexuality or gender. And they don't care about a lot of the petty things that our generation cares about. But it's heartbreaking for me that the risk aversion, because getting the guts to go do something and then doing it is just a part of the human experience. And you have to, sometimes you get what you want when you get the guts up to do it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Most of the time you don't get the desired result. And so it just really makes me sad.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I know, I get that. I get that. If this was a study of Gen Xers, I would be all chips in on that. But being a parent of two Gen Z boys and seeing all the kids, I see this risk aversion, but I also see that Gen Z kids have far more empathy and social conscience than our generation does. Hands down, it's not even close.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It's Trump's America. Because I remember right before Biden left office, it was like, we're making it a law to where you can cancel any subscription with one click. Right. You know, these gyms will make it where you have to go in in person. Kylie's got that rogue tanning membership she's had for years that she spends like 75 bucks a month on. She never uses.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
all right today we have gone to our patreon our cult our online cult where there are a lot of gay triets patriots and they they triets and ask them what they've had it with and kylie's going to start popping these up and i'm going to read them to you all from our community our island community kylie who's the first one
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Baby Weight Fraud
All right, Chrissy S. Chrissy S. says, I've had it with women who, 2.5 seconds after saying I do, change their last name on all social media accounts to their married last name. It's like built into their wedding itinerary, 5 p.m. ceremony. 5.45 update Instagram name. 6 p.m. cocktail hour. If you want to change your last name after you get married, by all means.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
But I think we should leave at least three to five business days because shouldn't you, I don't know, enjoy your special day with your spouse and loved ones? Take a few days to bask in the newlywed glow instead of worrying about your personal brand? These are the women who make getting engaged and getting married their entire personality. and have no other goals in life.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And they probably gave each of their 14 bridesmaids a Stanley Cup for the final party gift. I've had it. This is a great point. And I've seen this.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I mean, I'm always surprised. I also, I hate it for women. I think there's a pathetic nature to it. Like I just, it's like the Chrissy says it becomes their whole identity, everything about them. And I, I totally agree with this. It's like, it's coordinated into the itinerary and it's when everything in your life is that orchestrated around your social media followers. I just think that's really,
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
We're in New York City. We came up here, as you all know, to film with the fabulous ladies of The View, which, that was pretty cool. I mean, Whoopi Goldberg, E. Gottlieb. Yeah, that was crazy. And so, because we want to stay on schedule, we are filming up here in New York to make sure everybody's petty grievances are tended to, nurtured, rocked, and coddled. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I think the people she's referring to, it was, it's a part, it's baked in. I know, I know.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay. Next one. All right, Ade says, I've had it with parents who constantly lose their children in public places. I don't give a fuck if parents put a leash on the kid or stuff them in the grocery cart, but I'm sick of hearing Linda screaming for their precious Brayden, Kayan, McKenzie, Kenley, then the whole store has to shut down and all the employees have to look for your titty baby.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
But in order to cancel it, she has to go do it in person. And I think this is a Trump's America issue. And he's eviscerating what remains of any form of consumer protections or as Republicans call them, regulations. And I think there's just going to be more of this. I think you're going to have to fasten your seatbelt.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Knowing goddamn well the kid is probably hiding in the middle of the clothes rack because they hate the mom too. Meanwhile, I'm just trying to get someone to open the case so I can get the shampoo and listen to my Asshole Island podcast in peace. I've had it. Love that. That's a great one. It's true. I mean, I think that people need to, you've got to keep an eye on these kids in public.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
all the time it was traumatizing so we would be at a grocery store and i'd be like i want to go look at the lipstick colors i'm like four or five i am not very old and this is what happens when you're a kid of the 80s you're completely feral i mean you just yeah nobody's hovering over you so my mom would be like okay so a lot of time would pass by and then i would meander through the grocery store looking for my mom and i couldn't find her
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
So then I go to the counter and I'd be like, I can't find my mom. And I'd hear them pager. And her name was Linda. And be like, Linda, please come to the manager's desk, et cetera, et cetera. She didn't show up. She'd get all the way home, start unloading the groceries, and then be like, oh, shit, I forgot Jennifer. And then they would drive back. And I have an older brother and sister.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And those assholes, they would make fun of me for it. But I was the youngest of three. And so by that time, my mother was just like, meh.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
then they would leave all the time the house and i remember we lived in texas at the time and i remember that the dining room had these like sheer curtains and i would see my mom my brother and my sister and they're eight and nine years older than me i would see them pull off down the driveway and i'd be standing in these share cards don't leave me come back
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And they'd be gone like 30 minutes and then they'd come back and my mom would be like, oh, Jennifer, honey, I'm so sorry, I forgot you. And my brother would be like, how does it feel to be forgotten all the time? You know, just, yeah.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay. All right. Next one. jacob i've had it with every company making donations to republicans i mean it makes sense considering billionaires get tax cuts but where the am i supposed to shop anymore and jacob i have to say you know we have advertisers on our podcast
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And we recently canceled an ad campaign because the owner of this company during the inauguration posted on her story a picture of Melania Trump. And that's just unacceptable to pups in me. And so it was money that This person committed this company had committed to pay to our podcast for us to read ads. And we're just we're not doing it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
We're not doing it because there's too many marginalized people that are living in fear and have noticed an increase in the bullying and the racism and the homophobia. And we're just not going to take their money.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I just want to say this. I think that these companies who rushed to him very quickly, it was a very short-sighted, impulsive decision. Because if you look historically, the people who try to decrease rights, ban books, consolidate power, integrate business and government, it doesn't ever end very well for them.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And you know what? The whole like you're trying to break up with a corporation and how needy and clingy they get is such a turnoff.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And so Pumps and I have made decisions about advertisers moving forward because we're playing the long game and we try to be decent fucking people. And we really like this other company. I mean, I really like their products. I like the people that we worked with there. But if the executive of that company is going to traffic in Trumpism, and traffic in promoting Melania Trump.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
When women in our state are denied healthcare, Pumps and I went to an abortion reproductive rights forum, and there was a woman on stage that found out she was pregnant, Happy about it. Her husband was super happy about it. Started bleeding. They do an ultrasound. Her fetus has no brain.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And in a normal state where it's not run by Christian nationalists, this woman would have immediately been able to receive a DNC because this fetus was not going to make it as soon as it was born. It doesn't matter where in the term it was. And her health was bad. She had to travel to other states.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
to have this care these other states are flooded because in abortion ban america people are not able to access this and you know she said thank god she had the money and so all of these laws and promoting these fascists you're it's it's so divorced from humanity and i just want zero fucking part of it, period. I think it's gross. I think it's disgusting.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
While this person flies on a private plane and has lives in a blue state and has nobody interfering with one fucking thing that they do, period. And you would support an administration that wants to demean, take away rights, decrease rights, bully people, Try to minimize people of color that are wildly successful and wildly smart who have reached a position of success.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
You want to demean their position. I just think it's gross. And if people start sharing Trump shit, I'm just fucking done with that. I'm not doing it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay. The next one. TRS says I've had it with the fitness influencer era. Just because you lost 10 pounds doesn't suddenly make you a personal trainer or dietitian. So faking over it, had it pumps.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Well, I thought we had a friend and she lost a lot of weight and good for her. I'm the biggest supporter of all of that. And then all of a sudden is a fitness coach online.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
life coach slash fitness coach and i'm just like what is the qualification of this and to uh this grievance i've had it with people filming themselves at gyms it's just i i just the whole can't anything be like you just go to the gym and it doesn't have to be instagram
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay. Next one. Austin M says, I've had it with stupid fucking questions. Why is my coworker asking me what's for lunch when they can clearly see I picked up food from Chipotle? I'm holding the bag and cup that displays their logo very clearly. Shut the fuck up. Alana comments and she says this.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And these boomers at work who won't even attempt to Google something before they walk their dumb asses over to my desk and ask about it. Use your resources, people. And I think everybody that is a listener of this podcast and a member of Asshole Island knows about my longstanding
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
grievance with the phrase there is no such thing as a stupid question because i would even go on the permanent record to state that out of if if we were to consider questions as a pie i would say 85 of the questions are stupid questions and 15 of the questions on that pie are actual questions
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
That's my opinion and I'll let the research catch up because it always with this, but I think stupid questions have attacked legitimate questions. And now when anybody asks me a question, I'm annoyed across the board.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I've had it with the phrase, stay positive. I don't want to be positive. I don't want anything to do with being positive. I want to be Kendrick Lamar, petty, looking straight into the camera and saying, say Drake with a grin from ear to ear. I don't want to be positive. I want to be petty. I want to be pissed. I'm tired of the positivity pushers.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
i i'm going to stand by my 85 but i further agree with you that saying there is no such thing as a stupid question enables stupid questioners to feel normalized right and they don't feel any shame about asking stupid questions like what's for lunch when you have the chipotle you know it's I am at the end of my rope with the stupid questions.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It's just sometimes when Josh asked me really stupid questions, I just exhale very audibly. I'm just like, That's my response to it because I can't answer it. It exhausts me when he asks me stupid questions because I can't handle it. And he thinks it's just a real knee slapper.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay, next one. Ainsley says, also have had it with baby shower games. The worst one is the belly measurement game. What the fuck do you mean I should let a bunch of people guess how fat I have gotten in pregnancy? Am I supposed to smile and laugh while y'all make me seem like I'm the circumference of the Apollo 13 rocket? Okay. I just have to tell there's no fucking way.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I, when I was pregnant, I've been pregnant twice that I would ever play some baby circumference game. I mean, and what they measure the belly at the shower.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, was this when that, our main listeners won't know, but our Patreon listeners know, Pam used to go to this judge's office at the courthouse, smoke cigarettes in there, and the clerk of this judge had a pet raccoon up at the Oklahoma County courthouse.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
There's just people that are constantly pushing to try to stay positive. And it's like, this moment doesn't require positivity. This moment actually requires negativity. We need to be negative. We need to attack and be vociferous in our negativity to be able to overcome all of this rampant, insane MAGA fascism.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And you're running around lying about your baby's birth weight. Yeah, I sure was. I love that. Okay, next up. Shane S says, videos from other countries like Japan that say, Japan is living in 2050. No, everything isn't. Every country is living in 2025. Their technology or living conditions might have vastly improved quality over the US experience, but that's not time travel.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It's an overused and ridiculous expression. Shane, I think this is excellent. I've not seen this, but I thank you for bringing it to my attention because I'm always looking for shit to be pissed off about. This is right in my wheelhouse.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It's true. It's true. Okay. Next up, Logan. Stupid ass fucking air fryers. And that was all caps lock. They take a long time to cook shit. It's been known that they cause cancer and they can catch on fire. I love my mom. I love my mom and all, but every time she wants to put four chicken legs in that fucking air fryer for 45 minutes for them to come out still raw.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And it takes everything in me not to be like, fuck you and your fucking air fryer.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
i'm a new member of the cult and i want to tell you ladies i love you and y'all are the only thing keeping me sane right now during trump's america logan first of all i'd like to say welcome welcome second of all i would i want to i want to say i first of all i don't cook that much but i've heard a lot of people you got to get an air fryer it's easy just throw something in it and i thought about it i think i even pulled one up on amazon at one point
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
but I resisted. I've never used an air fryer and reading your grievance makes me realize I will never fucking use an air fryer because there was a whole like two year period there where all anybody spoke about were air fryers. Oh, you gotta get an air fryer. Oh, I'm gonna put this in the air fryer. Oh, we air fried it. Like what's going on with all these air fryers?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And so I'm glad to know that I suspected something was probably suspect with these things. And I'm glad to know that it's cranking out salmonella induced chicken legs. And so I want no part of the air fryer. Pumps, do you have an air fryer? Okay, Logan. You love your air fryer.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay, next one. Amber says strangers that talk to me like I've known them for 10 years. Like please, this is the damn Dollar Tree. Let me get my snacks and leave. I don't want to hear about how your husband left you and your kids are estranged. There's probably a reason for that Linda. This is where listener pumps will agree with that statement and do it, but she's the person in the dollar tree.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Sometimes I'm out in public with her and some of the stuff that comes up, I'm like, we're about to land the plane. We're about to walk off. And then she just keeps, oh yeah, you know, my husband just did it. My ex-husband, blah, blah, blah. And she throws some juicy nugget out there. I'll tell you what, recently we ran into this gal in the parking lot.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And Pumps immediately starts asking her about her child support case. And I want to bang my head on the windshield. I want my head to crack the windshield glass. I want to start banging it. And I want the glass, I want all the little squares to fall on me. And then turn the windshield wipers on and just let the windshield wipers whack me in the face back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I can't help it. Cause I'm really nosy, but let's talk about your child support case. I've been all over the court dockets and I am just like, Oh my God. And then it just keeps going and it just keeps going. And I'm like, okay, well always great to see you. And I'm trying and she will not, she is just sitting there with a can of tuna fish, just feeding, feeding, feeding.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And it's just, I literally wanted the car to abuse me so I could get out of the situation.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It would have been more enjoyable than watching you invade that poor girl's privacy and the awkward cringe, everything that came out of it. And I'm just sitting there, I'm a hostage, and I look like I am a willing participant in this because I'm sitting in your car, have your seat belt belted on me, and we look like a duo. And then you just sabotage the entire thing.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
See, I'd have to bring it up to you because this happens all the time.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
you can't help it that's why i haven't even brought up this whole fantasy that i had you have fantasies about homicide of your ex-husband i have fantasies that when you start doing this that i get injured and hospitalized like that that somebody calls 9-1-1 and an ambulance comes and get me and then i can just spin my head while they're wheeling me onto the ambulance and go You finally did it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Are you happy now? Are you ever going to stop feeding cats? Like, I want to be a martyr. I want to be a victim of this. All right. I think we should do one last one. What do you think, Pumps?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
All right, Jace says, I've had it with friends wanting to hang out with me. I just want you to know that I like you and know that you like me without needing to hang out. Look, I have a couch to sit on, a book I want to read, a partner I want to be with, a family I want to see often, and there's just no time to go, quote, get coffee.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I want you to see me, but have no expectation for me to actually hang out with you.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Here's what I like about this. It's like we can be friends in words, but all of the activities that go under the umbrella of friends, I'm out on. hanging out, getting coffee, texting, having a phone conversation. We can just say we're friends and then that's it. We just leave it right there. And I think that what he wrote was one of the most important sentences I've read in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And sometimes it's something that maybe you should be positive about, but you just don't want to be. And it's a part of your processing of emotions. Like I need to be mad about this. I need to be petty. I need to like really get in the gutter. I need to go low as low as low can be so that I can get to the other side of it.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I think sometimes if you skip that part and it's like, oh, I'm just trying to stay positive. You're just a Stepford wife that ends up with a wall of Stanley cups voting for Donald Trump. And that just doesn't end well. It's not a good look. And it doesn't end well.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I remember when our marriages were at like their peak worst and I had like my pain and my grievances and I envisioned those as like wrapped up in, you know, those Tiffany boxes that are blue, that Tiffany blue with a white bow, like my pain. and my grievances and all of my negativity, I gift wrapped up in the most beautiful Tiffany's box.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I would, in my brain, pull it out, meticulously undo the ribbon, open up the lid and just start pulling out and petting on all of my resentments.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
and i needed to do that i needed to have my little resentment box that of course was you know a fabulous tiffany blue but i needed to mentally have that and i wasn't ready to put my resentments away until i was ready now this is a slippery slope because if you keep those resentments forever that's not good and i no longer have the resentment box
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
but there was a time period that i did and it was very important to me it was a very important part of my growth of my quote unquote self-discovery and um you know when you hit your 30s you realize like oh we're like completely unprepared for adulthood because in your 20s you kind of skate by and you're still kind of a kid you think you're hot but you're not right you get to your 30s it's like oh my god i'm so wildly unprepared for life
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
It always kind of shocked me a little bit when you would say it. I remember thinking like- It always made me feel better. I remember thinking like, I love Josh, but I don't want him-
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
to die and i would tell you that you'd be like oh i absolutely want uh my husband to die at my own hands welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie she is a uh homicide a fan she fantasizes about homicide and listener for those of you that it's like me ma princess diana cupcakes and rainbow she's a little savage which makes it even better yeah to have that component
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I remember it. I remember you talking about, I remember there was a car accident. Yeah. There was a more violent baseball bat situation in which you were the swinger of said bat. I do remember a time that you did grab a purse and hit him with your purse. And you called me bragging about that. The Gucci hobo bag.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
went big yeah i remember it i just took it down to the floor with the back that's kylie's thought kylie's here today kylie what's going on with our podcast um we've got a couple more reviews that i'm going to read you today okay then up first
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
This is the first I'm hearing of son in love, daughter in love. And that is just the cringiest, most God awful, wretched, unrealistic pile of horseshit I've ever heard in my entire life. This, these are the people that have, these are, this is the stay positive.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I think that's true. I have to concur, counselor. I have to say, I think that is probably spot on because I think when you do stuff like that, there is a there's a compensating factor. Absolutely. That we have to make everything cupcakes and rainbow because we're trying to disguise
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
something it's just your son-in-law or your daughter-in-law right shut the up quit showboating quit making up that nobody is on board with i mean i i this is i bet this started since january 20th i'm 100 convinced january 20th is when it started kylie who's next
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Did she say substance and integrity? Kylie, put that back in class. Wait, wait. But they do it with class, substance, and integrity. Now I just want to put the, you know, like the manicure emoji next to me on the stream. I mean, that's, I mean, I don't think we're worthy of that.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. And now we have some news articles that I found interesting. Kylie, pop up the first one. Okay, this is crazy. This is nuts. Okay, schools remove analog clocks as teenagers can't tell time.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Some UK schools are replacing analog clocks in exam halls because students struggle to tell time. Teachers say digital clocks reduce stress, but critics argue it's a sign of declining basic skills. Are traditional clocks becoming extinct? Okay, so Pimps, what's your take on this? Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing?
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I don't like the surrender. I just feel like this is a total surrender and I'm especially disappointed that this is the UK. I mean, if this is Mississippi or our state of Oklahoma, I get it. I mean, the standards, the bar, depressingly low. But the UK, I mean, I just, I don't like the surrender and you brought up Big Ben.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I mean, that's all the more reason to tell, you know, like we have one of the most iconic landmarks in the world and it's a clock. And you little shits, you little plots, as they would say over there, need to learn how to tell time. I do not like this British surrender one bit. I don't like the surrender. It would not take very much time to teach them how to tell time.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
I don't like the surrender of it. No, I don't either. Some things are cool, like a clock. It's a cool thing. And it's not that hard to know. It's not rocket science.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
Okay. Kylie, what's the next one? Okay. Almost 50% of men aged 18 to 25 have never asked a woman out in person. This trend is attributed to increased risk aversion among younger men with many fearing rejection or social consequences, while 74% of women aged 25 and below expressed a desire to be approached more often.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I think that this risk aversion is a direct consequence of social media, because I've noticed in our kids generation, the risk aversion is wow, because they know that one thing that they do could be echoed very quickly to their entire social network immediately. And so they have become more introverted and far more risk averse.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
And I think this is such a shame because as embarrassing as some of the shit that happens to you when you're younger, those embarrassing moments, huge mistakes you make really make you a much better adult.
I've Had It
Baby Weight Fraud
All right. Let me ask you a few questions. Okay. Did this start around January 20th?
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I'm super excited about it. Okay. Christine leaves us a five-star review and she says, thank F for y'all. And she writes, the world needs more atheism, drag queens, lesbians, and me mom meet curtain law advice. Thanks for fighting the good fight, you feisty broads. Hashtag blessed because of you. Hashtag on the way to 12K. Yay.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Okay, this one is five stars from Fabiola, titled My Girlfriend Hates You. She writes, See, I have ADHD, and I usually have a hectic, hair-pulling morning trying to get my seven-year-old out the door into school. So after dropping him off, my very smart phone suggested your latest podcast.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
So I cranked the volume up and got all my petty grievances out and loud as I drove to my next appointment, completely forgetting to call her back. Eight minutes into my joyous ride, my girlfriend interrupts my favorite podcast by the ceremoniously, you forgot to call me. Needless to say, she's not a fan of you guys, because this has happened more times than I can remember.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
P.S., Pumps actually has a husky, like the four-legged kind. All this time, I've been thinking it was her vag needing some shaving. Disappointed. It's both.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah, it's like Mike Johnson talking about how you shouldn't watch porn all the time. He's watching a shit ton of porn.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Yeah. So he sent us an email and he said to call him DJ. And he wants this played so he can humiliate himself one last time. And it's a response to you all and Jared Freed.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
I don't really want a partner. Okay. I'm really selfish. I'm not a huge prize.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
He's the midlife Roy. Yeah. But I think he speaks English. MLR. My problem is talking. I don't like to talk a lot. What's to talk about? You just think fake out.
I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
No, I mean, I'm impressed. Kyla, are you impressed? I am. And I have his phone number if you want it afterwards.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And so I Googled it, like real Google, not on Instagram. And it said, sure enough, it was AI. And you know what I did? I didn't order it.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Like am I agreeing to something I don't believe in? I mean I get in my head and I just think right should not be the end of the sentence unless you have an intimate relationship with somebody. Like you and I, we'll talk about the same thing and you'll be like, right? Or I'll be like, right? Like am I remembering that correctly or something like that?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
What I loved about the desk and the chair I got from Article is it was mostly assembled when I got it and I didn't have to kill myself trying to put it together.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, that's pretty good. I wouldn't have the follow through. She had the follow through. She stuck with it. I appreciate it. I do too.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
But when total strangers in fucking small talk, which I hate – Say right. It makes me feel pressure. I don't like it. Just end your sentence without right at the end. So you build to the right. You have to build up a relationship. You have to become a we. You have to be a we before you can be a right. Right. I just don't. A lot of this stuff I get in my head like, am I green to that?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Fuck you. How could you not know that? How did you miss that? That's almost willful ignorance.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah, and you hear that a lot in Oklahoma. So here's the two things I hope for. Number one, I hope I'm there to witness it. Yeah. And number two, I hope it's someone that I hate so that they can just get their ass ringed.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Right, but I mean that I've been holding longstanding grudge hate for for some time.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Right. Like we run into somebody at a restaurant that I've hated for years. Yes. And then they come up and say that and then they just get it. It just comes out of left field ash to the ground. That's what I'm hoping for.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, it's Facebook, yes. People are dumber on Facebook. I think it's real.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Okay. Like what were the comments like being like thinking it's satire or were they serious?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
What are they talking about? I just don't like it. I think it's ridiculous.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I guess. Well, check. I just, you know, it's so... Dumb. I mean, that kind of shit is so dumb that the fact that someone would get on the internet and announce how dumb they were. I guess if you're that dumb, though, you don't know you're that dumb. Right?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah. I just, I, here's the thing. I would just hope if I put something that stupid on the internet, that I would have someone close to me, i.e. you, Kylie, Seth, that would say,
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
No, it's 100% me. Like I used to think that I just had like a neon sign above my forehead that said, tell me your life story. But I realized as I age, I am the common denominator. I am the problem. The reason that keeps happening is me. Because what happens is... Like somebody will tell me something and I'll find something I want to know about in that sentence.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah, I didn't. When she said, I can do this all day. I was like, oh, I've messed this up.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Well, I did because I was sharing. She thinks she's really good at Instagram. I haven't called Kylie in a panic that somebody's on my Instagram that I don't know. And it turns out it's me.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And we're qualified to diagnose someone with that. There's no question. We're as sharp as tax. I mean, we are like PhD, DD, MDs, all the Ds.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
You have to. You have to want it. You can't just wake up and go to school like a normal person on the East Coast.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And instead of just leaving it and just saying, who gives a fuck? I go in and I ask. And then that invites all kinds of questions. So pretty soon we're four generations back.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I completely agree. I have no idea. I mean, like the Elon Musk of the world. Why are you not enjoying your life? Why is there so much hate and anger? I don't get it. Here's what drives me crazy. And I think very well said. It affects you zero. It is none of your fucking business. Stay in your lane. And now since Trump's crashed the economy, what is Fox News talking about? Trans people.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Trans people. There's 10 trans athletes in a body of 510,000. There are more people with measles than there are trans people.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Every church. And those are just the facts. I mean, every denomination has a big, huge history. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Okay, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
This didn't exist before social media, as far as I know. Oh, it did?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Oh my gosh. You know, here's the thing. I always wanted a glamour shot, but I never got any.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
My thing with photos is because my daughter just had a professional photo shoot for her college graduation, which I'm on record. I told her that's the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. But my thing is when you're having these photos made, who's going to look at this? Who are you making these photos for in the couples? I think that's for Instagram.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Like neither one of them wants that photo. Do they? Or maybe they do. But like, Emily's graduation from college professional photos. Who wants those? Fucking no one.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Wasn't that on Valentine's Day a year ago? It was. Yeah. Valentine's Day, 2024. All right. Last one.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah. Needless to say, I had professional photos made. Those went right in the newspaper after my 500-person wedding, nine bridesmaids, two additional attendants walking down the aisle thinking, this is a fucking disaster.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Because as we all know, and I've caught to it before, I was far more interested in the wedding and the bridesmaids and the professional photo that I was going to put in the newspaper than I was in the marriage. On me, my bad.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I didn't take engagement photos. Of course I didn't take them with my ex-husband. Of course I didn't give a fuck about him. I took mine, my photo in my bride's dress.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I not only love their long socks, but their short socks, the absolute best. They don't run down on your ankle. They're comfortable. They don't show. These socks, I'm wearing them right now. I cannot recommend them highly enough.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
When you think about having a store online, there are so many different facets. It's overwhelming to think about. Shopify completely minimizes that and lets you be creative and do what you want to do.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Once I ask it, it's like the delayed reaction. Like the minute it comes out of my mouth, I'm like, you're fucked.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah. My son went through a phase where he and his girlfriend would wear matching pajama bottoms out into the wild. And I would just be like, you're wearing that? Yeah. You look ridiculous. But, you know, one thing she brought up, and I have been banging this drum.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I have been telling everyone, when you get on an early morning flight, because we always fly early, people smell like they have weirder smells. So you cannot wear that on a plane because it just – it has –
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
overnight smell it's gross and i just will second if you ever in an airport and you go through and you follow the lounges like gate 1 through 20 if you look you will find the red state like they're going to oklahoma city oklahoma or they're going to midland texas You're going to find that style. You're just going to find it. It's going to jump out at you.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And we were like, oh my gosh, they're not Fox Newsers. They're like Gen Zers. Yeah. And it was like, it was jarring. I mean, I remember I was in turmoil the whole way. Yeah.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah. Well, and white supremacy too. All of the above. It's a perfect moniker.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Immediately, like the day after they're sworn in. Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. Yeah. I mean, he's got to go. He's got to go if we make it to the 2026 midterms. I've ran into some people the other day that were talking about it and they're like, do you think we'll make it to the midterms?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Meaning undo the election? Right. Like elections are federalized by then and all the votes have to go through Elon Musk. You know what I mean? Just all kinds of fuckery that they could do.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
She's looking for a reason to get tattoos and have photo shoots with her girlfriend.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Yeah. First of all, getting to two years with someone is a huge commitment.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
That's that. I just feel like as I age, people are playing the take through about how their young skin is going to look so old. I don't think I would.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Maybe on somewhere nobody could see it. I can picture the phone. Like under the armpit or somewhere.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I mean, maybe I would and say, fuck it. We're so in love. I'm almost dead anyway.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
It really is a manifesto. We are crazy psychos. Psychopaths. We read the audio version of it a couple weeks ago. Yeah, and then I really confirmed it was a manifesto at that point.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I think that's as good a theory as any because I can't remember if I noticed it before or If it happened before, I wasn't as irritated. It wasn't as irritating because the world wasn't exploding and the global economy wasn't crashing. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Angela D. Beaver. What else? Me, Mommy. Curtains. What about the HBIC?
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Oh, I'm the HBIC head beaver in charge, head DEI beaver. Oh, yeah. Well, let me just say this. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcast.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
agree 100 agree and i i'm sitting here thinking about as you're reading that all of my doctors are all liberal democrats even my vet so i've done this without even knowing it and i'll tell you when i really really i mean i've always loved my family doctor but after the covid vaccine issues
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Part of her practice philosophy was, if you do not believe in vaccines, you cannot be a part of this practice. Like, go find another doctor. We believe in science here.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I can buy this because I think what you have is all these power moms that have done everything for him. Like let's take 45 pictures when you walk into the office. Oh, you didn't want to get the project done on time. Well, that's okay, honey. You know, your, your wellness and your self-help is more important. So that can be pushed off.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
When we all know, having been in adulthood, nobody gives a fuck about your feelings in business. Nobody gives a fuck about how you feel or if you're tired. It's a performance-based situation. Like I've never had a judge say, Angie, do not worry. You don't want to do this trial today. It's fine. You go home, get a massage, fluff up with your phone on TikTok and come back tomorrow.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
Like that just doesn't happen. So I think this is real world. It doesn't surprise me. It's probably good for them.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
I love that. I love that too. And I keep remembering it. So I'm super happy about that. I'll tell you what, you are as sharp as a tack. That's why I'm the HBIC head beaver in charge. No beaver like my beaver, like this beaver. The hits just keep on coming. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
i don't think ollie understands either ollie understands words and it's just flat-ass defiant which is what i lean to he does i mean he understands like let's go eat do you need to go potty let me wipe your bottom all that stuff leave it down but i think he's just defiant because last night i was like leave it because he was up on my toilet paper ring it's like leave it and normally he will he just got right in there and i i walk in the bathroom and
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
And he looks at me and he does the toilet and he unwraps the whole thing. I was just like, fuck. So what did I do? I just wrapped it back up and put it on the back stool instead of teaching him.
I've Had It
White Trash Supremacy
What I've had it with is when you have conversations with total strangers and they end their sentences with, right? And I'm like, am I agreeing to this if I say right? Or if I nod my head, so it's like, hey, didn't, you know, the steak there's really good, right? And I'm like, I don't know. I haven't eaten there. I feel like – and then I feel pressure.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yes. Thank you so much. We're in New York City, everybody. We're so excited. I do. I was looking at your Twitter.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And there was a tweet that I found concerning, and I want to see what you have to say about it. It was tweeted November 10th, 2024, by Rep. Swalwell, verified account, and it says, Night Night at OKC Thunder. How dare you?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Oh, I like that. You just can't like that. I like it's a good slang. Like we can turn it into a chant.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Here's what I have to say about, you live in California, you represent the state of California, you've got the ocean, you've got mountains, you have all this cool stuff, you have multiple sports teams. Why are you so greedy? We're living in a MAGA hellscape and this basketball team is everything to us. And then I get on Twitter and I have to see that bullshit, Congressman.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Oh, you're going down. I want to talk to you about your work environment.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Particularly the Freedom Caucus. Yeah. What can you tell me about the Freedom Caucus?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Let's like role play. Like you are in the – Congress and you get in an elevator and there is Marjorie Taylor Greene.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But no, I'm with you on the shoes. I see these fantastic shoes and I'm like, God, I love those. Those look great. Put them on 45 minutes later. I am miserable. And listen up, kids. As you get older, gravity is not kind to your feet. No. And I mean, and pumps can report from like the future future. And she's saying near death, it's even worse. Near death. Yeah, exactly. All right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Is there any friendly... Okay, let's get... I bet she wants to do a little Beetlejuice on you. Give us a tea with MGT. I want all that scoop.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
That's what's always amazed me is are these people so insane that they believe this horseshit they're spewing? Some of them are. But what I'm wondering is, is when you're trying to do legislation, if it's not something that the Trump administration wants or Mike Johnson. Or Elon Musk. Or Elon Musk. More importantly, Elon Musk.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
These people do not have the backbone for their constituents to vote for it anyway. That's right. Do you think that that will change in Trump 2.0?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Let me tell you what I've had it with. And I love the person I'm about to throw under the bus, but I have to. It's been building and building and building, and I just have to get it out. Okay, what? Who? So at the office, listener, downstairs is my interior design business. Upstairs is the podcast studio. And so a girl that works for my interior design business oftentimes brings her lunch to
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I have bad news for you. I have a senior in high school, one that's in college, one that's a senior in high school. And I thought for sure I would be done with all of this by then. And they continue. And I just refuse. Yeah. I refuse to engage.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And I had a lady who got kind of riled up with me last year, and she side messaged me like, hey, you didn't respond to XYZ in the group chat about homecoming dance tickets. And I just responded to her, this is a Roman problem. Like he's 17 at the time he was 17. Like I am not raising a titty baby. Like he needs to get his own tickets. Why am I doing this?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Like I've already done all the major stuff right now. I'm just at like, you know, making sure he gets home on time and everything else. He's kind of on his own. It gets worse. We did a whole episode. Apparently there is a college parent group. I have never been a part of any of this at Syracuse. I would never, but yeah.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
The helicopter mothering, y'all should see if you can do something about this in Congress. Right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yes. Group chats, banned. Yes, group chats. Okay. I want to talk a little bit about the Speaker of the House.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And there's a video where he says on camera that the Lord was speaking to him and kept waking him up every night.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
and saying, okay, we're going to figure out who Moses is, and it's not McCarthy anymore, and maybe it's going to be Scalise. And the Lord woke me up again. And he says this, like, on camera. I've watched the video multiple times because I cannot believe that nobody is sending him to a mental institution after watching it. But then he ultimately says that the Lord told him that he was, in fact—
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Moses, and I just have a fundamental problem that we're all sitting around in this country, and you've got the president, the vice president, and then Moses Mike, who has fireside chats every night with the Lord, where the Lord tells him, listen up, buddy, you're Moses. And we're all sitting around. We just took the subway here. I'm riding on the subway.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We're all acting like this is normal, that the speaker of the house is insane. Like, this is insane. behavior. It's magical thinking. And if somebody on the subway was sitting there saying this, I wouldn't think anything of it. This guy's the speaker of the house and it bothers me so much that we all just act like he's a normal person and he is a fanatic.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And I think possibly like crazy that he's hearing all these voices and it's delusional.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
to work and heats it up in the work microwave and several times it's been fished oh and she's perfect in all other regards i've had it with people using a shared microwave to heat up food that stinks yeah there's nothing you can do about it it permeates It's awful. The secondhand smell, if you're not the eater of that food, if you're not the consumer of that food, is so horrible.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Well, we live in this. Yeah, we live. So they're already trying, even during Biden's term, they've already started trying all of these hardcore right, Project 2025, Heritage Foundation stuff in red states. You know, they're trying them out in Texas and Oklahoma. And we have now the superintendent who's mandated that the Bible be be taught as a historical document in all public schools.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Ten Commandments be on the walls. Women have lost the right to abortions. OBGYNs are fleeing the state. And you see, like, if you look at the states that are doing this, we're ranked 49th or 50th in education. So these MAGA policies have always failed. The trickle-down economics is the biggest myth. And it's so difficult to see like this start to become mainstream.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I knew in like deep Bible belt states that this was happening, but you're starting to see it kind of get mainstreamed where people think this should be okay. And I hope that the Democrats have a plan to really- fight for secularism. Because that really is one of the founding principles is that we have a secular government. And the 1950s is when all of this got injected.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And it's really troubling because there's a saying in the Bible Belt for those of us that aren't Bible thumpers. And it is, there is no love like Christian hate. And it's true because there's a real cruelty to there's a punitive nature of the laws that they want to make. And it's about taking rights away from people or judging gay people and getting into people's bedrooms.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
OK, but let's move on from that. I want to ask one quick question. OK, on the Mike Johnson thing, this is what fascinates me more than anything. Here he is. He holds his Bible every minute. God told him he was Moses. He and his wife have a covenant marriage.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Oh, my gosh. The porn app. Kevin and I. Yeah. We just think that's the weirdest. But so do you think he has a recognition of his hypocrisy when he supports a candidate like Donald Trump, where he does everything he wants against poor people, against women, that Donald Trump himself is the most immoral, unethical person on planet Earth?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Do you think he recognizes it or is he just so full of shit he doesn't even know it?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
That does make sense. Yeah, that makes great sense. All right, let's move on to First Lady Elon Musk.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Okay. Or co-president, or president, maybe Trump as First Lady, however you want to do it.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah, I agree with that. So, OK, Doge, is this going to have congressional oversight? Like what? What?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So the other day she did it, and I had been out of the office for a tennis lesson, of course, on my lunch hour. And then I walked back in. I'm, like, still gasping for air. My heart rate's still high. I'm kind of behind the eight ball, running a little late, getting back to the office. And I walk in, and it is the worst thing. rotten fish smell smacks me in the face and I am dying.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Right. This is why you're a politician. Right. Because I want him to fail. I'm petty. Like, this is why I would never run for office. Because what you said about Marjorie Taylor Greene having conviction, I would be that person. Like, with Moses Mike, I'd be like... I'd probably like to see him in the elevator and just be like, you're voting.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I know women that are suffering because they don't have access to medical care because of you. Fuck you. And that's how I would feel about it. So I have that kind of conviction. I couldn't just talk about him on here and then see him by like, hey, Mike, what's up? You want to Bible study it or something? I couldn't do it. And so...
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But here's what bothers me about Elon Musk is, number one, I don't think he's emotionally stable or psychologically stable right now. I don't think Trump is emotionally or psychologically stable. You see him, you know, he controls a huge information system, which is X. He's already trying to mess with UK politics, German politics. He's got a lot of time on his hands.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yes. And we find out that Trump's talking to Vladimir Putin. And I don't know if I'm paranoid, but as I'm sitting here looking at all of this, You know they're all up to something. You know Trump and Musk, these are not people of integrity and decency in the manner in which Joe Biden was. Joe Biden was a good man. Nobody is ever going to agree with anything that every president does.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
But at his core, he's a decent human being. I do not believe that about Elon Musk. I do not believe that about Donald Trump. And I think they're palling around with Putin. And I think, oh, shit, we're fucked. That's what I think all the time.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
D Y I N G. So I light a candle and I put it right under my nose on the desk as I'm typing. Couldn't even penetrate this fish smell. Really? So I got up and I opened up the front door and I put a plant to keep it open and I opened up the back door so we could get flow going in and out. And I turned on the fan on the HVAC and
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Women voted against their own self-interest. The working class, the middle class voted against their own self-interest to elect Trump. Which brings us to the misinformation that's coming out. And you look at the hurricanes in the eastern seaboard. Now you've got the wildfires in California. And then Donald Trump and Elon Musk are pumping out disinformation as fast as they can get it. How do we...
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I mean, I feel like we're living in a post-fact world. I thought that when they were saying Democrats controlled the weather, I thought that's so insane. Any person that heard that would immediately know that that was crazy.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Back-to-back Christmas. So now all of these rumors, how do we stop that? What can we do about it?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah, that's a great idea. That's a great idea. The civil lawsuits change laws.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Oh, my God. Welcome to Pat It or Hit It. I would hit it. Pat It. Pat It. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, Pat It or Hit It. Gulf of America.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And, I mean, it took about an hour and a half before I didn't smell this overtly heinous fish smell. But I do not think that should be allowed. I agree. I don't think that's right. And I just, I said, who heat up the fish? She said, I did. And I was like... Adriana, it's a good thing you don't listen to my podcast because this is going right to the top of my grievances.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I agree. I agree with that. And I also think there's a grift opportunity for him. Right. Because, you know, he basically has a flea market now, an online flea market, where he's a member. And we have to remember, he ran because he said, look, I'm rich. I'm a billionaire. Nobody can buy or own me because I'm so rich.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And now he is the most bought and paid for man this world has ever seen, which is so weak. Okay. Had it or hid it, Republican parents...
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
She and I have noticed. So a lot of these Republican parents are like, I want my kids to receive the best education. I want them to go to the best universities. And then they end up getting liberal, open-minded children.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
She just kind of laughed and goes on with her business as only Adriana would do. It was horrific. You know, I have friends that have worked in really big companies before, and there is a mandate that you cannot cook fish in the microwave because it permeates the whole office. And at first they thought it was like,
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
No. Oh, I remember that. That's the worst. I remember getting downstairs and getting in my bed and then all of a sudden there was this hand and I was like, oh. Yeah. Oh, my God. He crawled out and followed me. You lose all control at that point. Yeah. No. Toddlers are, I think the very first episode of this podcast we ever did.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
The title of it was Toddlers Are Assholes. Yeah. And they remain so today. They haven't changed that much. Okay. Had it or hit it, Mar-a-Lago.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We desperately need. So from the heartland of America, let me tell you what we need. Because there are little blue dots peppered all over the country. And he only won by a percentage and a half point. So this was not the mandate that they say it is. We need the optics really desperately. We need to see you. That Brendan Boyle that we had on. Jasmine. AOC. Dan Goldman. Any firecracker.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Any firecracker in there that you can bring. We need the optics of all of you saying, we're here. We're the rebellion. We're going to work with them where we can. But we are not. You are going to be safe. We are on this. Because everybody, like, there is this, we're all going on living our lives. But there's this dark passenger with us all the time. It's like, shit, how fucked are we?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
oh, that's kind of rude, da-da-da, and then somebody broke the rule and everybody agreed. It's one of those social contract situations. If we're all going to eat here, if we're all going to work here, if we're all going to share the same space, you cannot put fish in the microwave. No, you just can't. You cannot do it. It is not acceptable.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Because I think you guys have got to flood the zone. I think you've got to do podcasts. I think you have to, just like this, just get on here. Maybe through an F-bomb. Who cares? The president's a convicted felon. Screws porn stars. Who cares? You know, so get out there. And I think y'all need to flood the zone like they've done.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And we're going to help do our part because basically we're all boiling it down to, are you pro-democracy? Right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
It's great having you in person, too. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with them. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You can get your podcasts and YouTube. Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm. Caw-caw. That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Okay, what I've had it with, and it's twofold, but it's mostly at myself. But my overall had it is I've had it with the cutest shoes being uncomfortable. And then I've had it with myself for continuing to buy the uncomfortable shoes, knowing that I'll wear them for about an hour and just be like, I can't do it. I I can't do it. So it's like this never ending.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
You're not taking into account the senses of your coworkers. There's a lack of self-awareness about it. And I like fish. I eat fish. You're not a big fish eater, but I am. But after that, I thought, I'm not going to be able to eat fish for a while. Right, because it was so traumatic. It was. The smell was just awful. And so, listener, do not heat up stinky food in your shared microwave.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Take into account the senses of your coworkers, even those that you hate, because you wouldn't wish this on your worst enemy. You know, this might be a good idea we could give our next guest on what he should do to torture his colleagues. Oh, that might be good. That's a good idea. That might be a great idea. Okay, welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
She's big tits in the big city. Yeah, I mean, they're just, I look 100 in this life. I mean, like literally I sat down and I said, I look 550 years old. Then I looked down just now and I have my boobs hanging out. The dragons are trying to get out. And I thought there is just nothing grosser than a 500-year-old woman trying to show their boobs off. It's gross.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
What did I say when I sat down right next to you? How pretty I am? No. Do you remember? You said, oh, my God, I look 500 years old. Oh, yes. And she immediately says, oh, I feel like I look a ton younger than you on this. And I was just like, well, that's just right on brand.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Listener, you know, there's just certain things when you have a really good asshole buddy that you can just give each other shit for forever. And that's just one of the things because I will always be younger than you. Like there's nothing you can do about it. I have you so checkmated on that.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I mean, there's nothing I can do about it unless I wanted to become MAGA, and then I would just lie about my age and gaslight you and just say I wasn't – I have a copy of your passport and your driver's license.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
You're fucked. All right, listen. We have a story to share with everybody. So we are – Thinking about ways that we can better mitigate interactions and horrible interactions with people in the public. And yesterday I would say was a master class for your two co-hosts of this heaping pile of dog shit podcast called I've Had It. So we have to get up and catch the early bird flight.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Meemaw comes and picks me up at my house, 5.50, 6 a.m. We're going to fly from Oklahoma City to LaGuardia. We head to Will Rogers World Airport.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Oh, pardon me. Will Rogers International Airport in Oklahoma City for our 7 a.m. direct flight to LaGuardia. We're meeting a couple of friends at the airport that are also coming here with us. And we make it right on time, sit down. And pumps, of course, I look over and she's knee deep in conversation with a stranger pretty quickly. Not on my own volition. It was like, where you live?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I mean, the question is, it was just rapid fire immediately. At first I thought maybe she is a yak mouth magnet, but then I also fell prey. Right. We all did. And then I noticed that everybody else fell prey to this particular yak mouth. And it was unrelenting. It was... He would ask you a question and then you would start to answer it.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And then he would speak over you while you were giving him an answer to the question he asked you. Right. Really, really annoying. So then... We're waiting to board. We're waiting to board. Shout out to the guy that works for American Airlines that was working gate number one on this morning. You were amazing. So he says we're delayed because the flight attendant's iPad is not working.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so the manual, she doesn't have it digitally. And we're trying to get her logged back into her iPad. And this goes on for about an hour. And one of our friends is like, I'll give my iPad. I'll volunteer my iPad to American Airlines. I'll volunteer my iPad to American Airlines, and I will – Buy a new one when I get to New York.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
You want your shoes to be cute, but if they're comfortable, they're just awful. They look like corrective shoes. If they're, if they're cute, you can't wear them because at my advanced age, everything on your body hurts after about an hour. So I've just, I've had it with the whole thing. I think I'm just going to go to my house shoes, back to my house shoes and flip flops 24 seven.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Anything to just get this bird in the air because it's starting to dump snow. So we're getting paranoid. So then he says, well, they can't get her iPad to work. So we have to go to the basement and print the 1,000-page manual for the flight attendant to have on the flight. Several observations here. Number one, who is going to look through a 1,000-page manual on a flight if it's going down.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Like, who's doing that? Nobody's doing that. That made absolutely no fucking sense. Okay, the flight's going down. We're getting ready to crash. Here, let me page through my notes so I can tell you what to do. It's like nobody's going to do that. And why don't you, American Airlines, just have a hard copy Just in case. Right.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Why don't we just have a hard copy in one of the bins at all times just in case. To avoid this. So then 45 minutes, another hour passes, and then a flight attendant walks by or some worker for American Airlines walks by with literally a 12-inch stack of papers. They give it to the darling gate agent. We love you. They take it down. They put it on the plane. We start to push back from the gate.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Captain gets on the flight and says, we're having a computer issue now, and I've tried to reset it. It doesn't work. I have to go back. We have to take you guys back to the gate, deplane you. And then we will hopefully be able to take off if the weather doesn't get worse. So we get off the plane. And I digress here a little bit because the yak mouth... That's what I was going to say.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Don't forget the best part of the story. The aforementioned yak mouth is seated right across the aisle from me. Pumps was two rows behind us. I was furious that I got stuck with that hickey. And so I'm trying to manage that. And this was a person that you could have your ear pod in. And I made a very dramatic, like, tucked my hair behind my ear. And I was like, I'm sorry. What did you just say?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Didn't matter. No, did not matter. I mean, there were several times that when we were standing in the terminal, I would completely put my back to him where he could only see the back side. And he just kept going in, just kept going in. And I was just like, where is your ability to address social cues? Let me tell you something, you guys.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. It's Big Pumps in the big city. We are in New York City. We have a very special guest that we're meeting here later. Fun guest. Very fun. Very important. Yes. Very important. Which almost pseudo makes us important. Kinda. A little bit. Kinda. Important adjacent. Oh. We are important adjacent. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
If pumps, the biggest stray cat feeder in the United States of America, is turning your back on you, the yak mouth is bad. It's not savable. You cannot crawl your way back. No. So anyway, long story short about all this flight stuff. Then we get back on the flight. The flight attendant is bawling, crying. She is beside herself. She is literally in tears.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And I give her a hug and I'm like, I'm sorry, just like people are just being mean to me. So apparently one of the passengers got on, told her she thought it was her fault that her iPad didn't work. She was mad at the flight attendant. Right, because her iPad that's owned by American Airlines didn't work. She called her stupid. She called her a bitch, too. And a bitch. So she's in tears.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
And so here's what we did. You would think, the host of this podcast, that we would have been maniacs. You would think that Karen would have had a resting heart rate of about 300. Right. None of this happened. Right. New year, new us.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Have I ever told you that my mother thought I was pigeon-toed when I was a child and I had to wear corrective shoes briefly? And then she enrolled me in ballet because she thought it would turn my feet out. I did not know you were a corrective shoe wearer. I wore corrective shoes. I think it was maybe a year, but I remember they were so ugly. They weren't very cute, but my mother is very vain.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Now, the yak mouth passenger, the only way we were never rude to him was just try to avoid eye contact and do all of your body language as best you could as far away from him. And he was still able to penetrate it. But we were never rude to him. We were never rude to him. We were. Every body language signal was saying stop. Every answer was saying stop. If I saw him again,
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I might just go back home. Right. Just go home and say, I'll do it tomorrow. Let's just move this to tomorrow. Yeah, because that was a lot. Like, he was a very active, persistent, relentless yak mouth. Like, I'd never seen anything like it. Right. I mean, it's been a long time since I've seen one to that level. It was an incredible... level of interrogations right towards us.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
It was really intense. It was super intense and it never stopped. I know more about this individual I know every – he's over 70 because I know his exact age. And I knew who he grew up with in high school. I knew what his dad did. I knew where he went to college. Yeah. I knew where he worked. I knew where he went to law school. I know all of it. Everything there is to know about this man.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
I know it. His work schedule. His 100% work schedule, travel schedule. Yep. All of it. Address. Yeah, it was a very sustained attack. I almost felt like somebody's fucking with us. They've listened to the podcast. I kind of thought that too. They know what annoys us. And this is a plant. Somebody is doing this. Testing us. Yeah, this is a test. But here's the deal.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
You were really good the other day. I was really proud of you. You were nice. That flight attendant, she couldn't have taken it. If you would have even been remotely caring towards her, she would have unraveled. And I was really, really proud of you that you were just a normal fucking person. Did you keep your bra on? I kept my bra on the whole time, yeah. See, this is growth.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Yeah, I only really take it off on super long flights. All right, listen up. We have a fantastic guest today. We are gravely concerned. about January 20th. Plus. We vacillate from like, are we going to die to we're going to be fine. We're going to be arrested. Yeah. Are we going to be arrested? Are we still going to have the First Amendment? Right. Yeah.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
So anyway, we everybody knows we love politics. And this is a congressman that I have loved forever because he says what's on his mind. He has conviction. He has principles and he fights the good fight. So let's welcome to I've had it in New York City, Congressman Eric Swalwell.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay. Welcome, Congressman Eric Swalwell.
I've Had It
She Wants to Kill Me
Right. So that was hard on her. Yeah. And I don't really think I was like pigeon toed. I bet they just went in slightly. We need to talk to Linda. We need to get to the bottom of that. But here's the thing. Aren't you glad she did it when you were younger and you didn't have to correct it as an adult? Yes. So thank you, Linda, at the end of the day. Yes. Yes, definitely.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Right. Well, and I also think you, as we age, I know the young people that listen can only imagine and hope for this. But as you age, the people in your life that do not bring anything to the table, that take instead of give, you start systematically cutting them out as you get older. Because the older you get, you're like, fuck you, you're not adding, you're taking away, I'm out.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
So I think with age, it grows your intelligence and you find your deeper relationship.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Right. Oh, absolutely. And, you know, our state, we've got Ten Commandments. We've got the Trump Bible. I mean, it just... It is unbelievable to me that every single day, I don't think the Trump administration could get any more vile. And it continues to do it every day. I'm surprised. All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with? I was at a movie this weekend.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
That whole, why am I not included? And do they like her more than me and all that? That, getting away from that is a gift.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Nothing. And there are women my age. Oh, yeah. That still think it's about them. It's crazy. And I'm like, where's the growth in 50 years? Where is it? Yeah. Don't see it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
You will, I hope. Anyone that knows me. I was just going to say, Kylie, I mean, I have high expectations and I just know 100% you are so good at so many things, but keeping a neat car is not one.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Halfway through the movie, a fucking baby started crying. And I'm like, I've had it with people bringing their babies into the movie theater. I've had them with kids under five and public at large. But specifically, this is a PSA. Do not take your baby to a movie. That is stupid. If you don't have a babysitter, then wait for it to come out on video.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Jumped straight out of a baby oil bottle, went straight to meet the vice president, didn't even brush her hair. And that's the photoshopped eye, because your eye was closed in that picture originally.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. I told her the other day, I said, what I find so amusing about the whole ChatGPT is she and I will be having a conversation and she's like, oh yeah, well, I asked ChatGPT and they said, just like it's a third party person. And it's so funny to me. It is just like a friend. So I...
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Other people don't want to hear your baby in the middle of their movie. I was shocked.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
They pushed through. You could hear this. They were trying to soothe it. And I will say it soothes pretty quickly. But I wanted to stand up and go, take the fucking baby home. Like they rag on you about your cell phones at a movie. They should now tell people you can't have a baby in the movie theater. Turn off your cell phone. Leave your baby at home.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, I remember seeing the billboards too. I never went down there. Had I known how crazy that shit was getting down there, I probably would have gone. I never took my kids. My mom took my kids once. But The Joe Exotic thing is crazy. I mean, it's such a sample of rural Oklahoma, I think.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
But, you know, I'm like obsessed with the dating websites for prison inmates and married after incarceration or whatever it's called. I've watched the show. I do not get it. I do not. I'm with him 100,000%. How does this happen?
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Well, I mean, that would be the upside. There would be absolutely no bugging me at night or getting in my evening routine.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Have you seen the ads with it? Yes. You have? I have. And I feel the exact same way she does. I'm just like, it's like pageant mom style stuff. It's like, you know, Jim Bob's roofing. Let my dad Jim Bob. And it's like, your kid's not that cute. Now nobody wants to do business with you because they think your kid's at work all the time. People, I hate kids.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I agree. But I also think there's a fundamental problem with parents, a lot of parents, not all parents, that they think my kid is so cute. No one could see my kid advertising my roofing business and not immediately call me because my kid's so cute. My kid's so special. And I've said it before and I'll say it again. Nobody thinks your kid's as cute as you do.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
pass with flying colors in their own mind. That these people that use the N-word do not believe that they are racist.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I just don't think they have an audience, that they're around an audience that would... like bat an eyelash.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
What I like about giving the dogs UnKibble is it's 100% whole fresh ingredients like USDA meats, fruits, and vegetables, but it's 40% less expensive than frozen food.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
It gives you such peace of mind that you can focus on your pet's health and not the cost of the treatment for them.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Is it a lack of self-awareness? Is it entitlement? I don't know what makes you think, oh, it's fine if my baby cries to the second half of the movie. And it wasn't like a newborn baby. You know how you get a newborn baby cry? This was like, I would say six months to a year baby. Was the movie rated R? like a Cars movie, you know, like a child's movie. I get a kid crying in a movie like that.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
That's sweet, Peyton. She's 100% right. Yeah. That needs to be added to the list. There is nothing worse than somebody being on a phone in public and talking loud like everybody gives a shit. It's lack of self-awareness on steroids.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, you're right. Because it's like I ran into somebody at the nail salon not long ago that I hadn't seen in 20 years. And it was the whole catch up thing. And I just thought we've lived 20 years without knowing anything about each other. And we were both fine. But I'm so glad to see that. That should just be the new rule.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Like if we've lived this many years without catching up, we're probably fine to just say hi and keep moving.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. And I think it goes back to the awkward silence between people and you really don't know how to act.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I think I was fine with it when I was 29 years old. I'm sure I was. I was probably the worst fucking offender. I'm trying to remember.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, I remember we had one babysitter that was our absolute favorite because we would walk through the door and it would be like, peace out. And she would leave and we'd be like, we love her. Yeah, that's the best. Less is more. Less is more.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah. So I would rather have known a little bit all along versus just wake up one day when I was 38 and realize everything in my life was a lie. Everything I believed was a lie. Everything was a lie.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Yeah, I 100% feel the same way. Part of me is jealous. Like I read a deal on how many people didn't like the opinion of Elon Musk and 4% didn't know who he was. And I just thought, I wish I was part of that 4%. You know, like they get a complete pass on all this crazy. They're just running around, not knowing that Donald Trump's turning it into an authoritarian country.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
They're not worried about Elon Musk with all their private information. So I'm kind of jealous. But then on the other hand, I'm like. Get on the Internet and learn what's going on. Like, become active in this. You need to know. And whether you like it or don't like it, you're for it or against it, at least you're informed. But then they get on Fox News and go to Tucker Carlson.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I completely agree. I had no idea. I've never been on Facebook. So that's terrifying right there. And I too noticed the rearrangement of my emojis and ones I didn't use. I don't know if that was like an update. How did that happen? It makes me nervous that they're in my phone.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Right, especially if you're in the same room with a drunk repeater, which is my least favorite thing on the planet.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
The next time they see you, they might be mad at you. Yeah, real inconsistent. Yeah. I'll tell you what. I had my dog about eight months at the time of the election. And when Donald Trump won, I mean, I was in a deep funk for about eight to ten weeks. And my dog was just the best thing during that period of time. I mean, it gave me true solace to be just with my dog.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
Who's just so not smart. Just everything about him is wrong. And they like it.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
I do, too. And I thought the exact same thing. I was like, well, it's obviously not a lot of internalized massage in that group because white women are the... Speaking of drinking, internalized massage. Oh, did I say it slurry? Internalized massage. Did you hear massage? Massage.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
United States of Stupid
What I love about Shady Rays is their protection program. Because you know me, I drop them, break them, they're just completely gone. And they will replace them.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay, so the minute you said nude pickleball, I was thinking of the dragons flopping around in the wind trying to catch the ball. And I just don't even know how that would work. You probably wouldn't even need a paddle. Listener, listen. I bet you're right.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Well, for the example of the Dragons, and I'm not a modest person and I don't care. Like people want to go to nude resorts and all that. That's fine. Where I would be distracted, not that I'm a great pickleball player because we know I'm terrible.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
But if it's like a court of, let's say, the three of us and Seth went to play pickleball, and right next to us were a court of naked pickleballers, I'm just gonna say that would distract me.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
It's a tap, tap, tap. Circle the jets. Head to the car. We know I wouldn't do that. Meemaw! I'm a big talker. Meemaw! But I would be distracted.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
It's been 100 years. But you know, back in the day, day. Naked pickleball car sex. Yeah. I mean, I'm here for it. You'd have to push me though. I wouldn't on my own. That's just big talk in my mind. Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time in college that I was having sex in the car and tap, tap, tap on the window? It was the campus police. Let me ask you this. What positions were you in?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
God, it's been so long. I can't remember. I know we were in the passenger seat. You were straddling on top. I think I was. You were straddled on top? That's exactly what I thought. It was the flyest over. I mean, it was so fast, pull up, all that. And I will say to his credit, he was just like, you guys need to move along. Nobody got arrested for public indecency or anything. But yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
What I've had it with is people that do not behave appropriately and drop off and pick up blinds. Now, I had forgotten because it's been so long that my kids were in a drop off and pickup line. How fucking mad it makes me when people like stop the car. They get out and talk to other people. Blocking everybody else's thoroughfare. What do you call it? Way through.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I love that. It's a feel good, happy ending. You know what? That is a really good.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
She met her husband. I love that she just immediately blocked him. Just like he's 30 minutes late, which the minute he ran out of gas, he should have texted him. The second is he wanted you to spot him. How was he going to pay for dinner? I mean, not saying he had to buy hers, but how was he going to buy his?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
That is wild. I'm sitting here thinking. So she's married with twins, pretending she's a hotel manager, but the coup de grace is the handwritten license. I mean, like, what?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I'm glad you moonlight as an FBI agent, because I, too, have moonlighted as an FBI agent, as I know Jen has. Yes. I'm not sure about Kyle's. Of course, you have to. Yes.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Did I say Chinese at the top of this? So it was a cheese, like a fondue restaurant.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Like they block traffic because they're so busy. Unable to be self-aware that they are blocking everybody else's time. It makes me fucking crazy. It just happened to me at drop-off at the doggy daycare. I go to pull in and it's like a two-person deal. This motherfucker, he parked his car right in the middle so nobody in front of him can could park. Nobody could get to the side.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
No, that's sociopath behavior. Yeah. I hope that got a real sick puppy. Real sick puppy. I'm sure I'll be dating him soon.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
But they have like fetish websites that you can go on and he could find his sub. Yeah. So I don't know why.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay. Here's my question. After she said, I just want to be friends. I liked you, blah, blah, blah. Why did we have to go in to all of his fetishes? Like that seems just highly unnecessary to me. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And that is only because – Because of the age of my kids, I have just beat the drum. Like, do not take those pics. You don't know where they're going to end up, blah, blah, blah. And so, first of all, the dragons aren't that pretty. That'd be number one. But number two, you just don't know what's going to happen with that picture.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Very famous. No, but I just, even if I was, I just think it's, I just think it really can create problems. So no, I would not send any pics. Would you send me a picture of the dragons? Yeah. Well, I trust you. I don't know why you'd ask, but.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Probably to Josh. Right. Yeah. I think I probably sent a message. Well, I mean, you're married. Yeah. I mean, this is not just some guy I started... You know what I mean?
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Yeah. I'll tell you what. It did happen one time. That reminds me of a story. All right. Let's hear it. Okay. So... On the dragons, I have like a pointy nipple, like a big cheap eraser. Nobody knows what that is. That's not our age, but just a bigger, thicker nipple. I've seen it. Okay. So one day... This girlfriend of mine said, you've got, I have the best band-aids for that.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And I was like, great. So she gave me some band-aids. I went and bought the band-aids. They were fantastic. They were exactly perfect. So I take that back on the nudie. So I put them on the nipples. I was so pleased. And I took a picture in the mirror of me standing there with the band-aids on the nipples and
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And I sent it to her and I was like, oh my gosh, this is the best thing that happened to me. Thank you so much for the recommendation. This is a friend for 30 years. So about two days later, you know, for whatever reason, all my iCloud stuff. And this was when Sam was probably nine or 10. So he's going through this and I'm sitting next to him and I look and he looks, that picture comes up. Yeah.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Nobody could get in behind because he was like dead smack in the middle of the drop off area. He had the back of his car open, which I assume his dog jumped out, which is fine, but he left it there. So I had to park kind of down the street and take my little dog in. And I just thought, you're a fucking dick. You're just a dick.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Then he looks at me and I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I explained the whole thing. But yeah, so I lied. I have sent a nudie pic and my son saw it at nine years old.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I just... So when we're unpacking his childhood trauma later, you'll be able to... Just know that I'll have the to-do list.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I think catfishing is so mean. It is. And people, you know, everybody gets to be perfect in their online persona, you know? And so it's like, I kind of feel like it would make you have higher expectations than what humans are really capable of a little bit. But yeah, that's terrible. And you know, the thing is you hear about it all the time. There's even a TV show about it.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Listener, they even made a TV show about it. Yeah, I've watched it. You did? During the pandemic, my kids and I would watch it. I mean, honestly, you kind of got catfished. Right.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Like the lack of self-awareness in the drop-off and pickup line is unbelievable. People just do not have any concept that there is anybody else on the planet but them.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
You have a lot of experience with birds, so we could probably find one.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
All right. Listener pumps. Tell him we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You can get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
You know how I know you weren't? Because you and I were just like, what the fuck? There are 27 million gates. Why are we not moving? I don't know if in the moment you saw this, but the guy in front of us that was sitting in front of you, he turned around to me. He goes, I don't think it's going to be much longer. Because he heard us bitching about it.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So I think he thought we were about to fucking storm the front of the plane. Because I looked at him and I thought, maybe we're being loud. But my whole thing with that is, and for people that live in large metropolitan areas, you have to understand, the Oklahoma City airport has maybe 20 gates, 25. At the most.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
So it's not like there were 27 different planes sitting on the tarmac trying to get in. We were it. That was it. We were the list. And we sat there for about 20 minutes.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Okay. I'm just going to say I do have one tiny grievance with Oklahoma City Airport with a direct person. And it's that old man that sits at baggage claim. And he talks your ear off. And he's a volunteer. And he's like, any questions for me about where I'm going to Oklahoma City? I mean, he's no less than 90. And he talks like he just talks and talks and talks and talks.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
And he doesn't breathe because he's talking so much. And so that I have a grievance with, which I know part of me is like, he's a little old man. He doesn't have anything to do. He goes to the airport and he's a volunteer. Good for him. That's what a good, nice person would say. But in my mind, I'm thinking, shut the fuck up.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
It's going to be me like 10, 20 years from now. You're going to come down the escalator and buy the baggage claim.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I mean, it surpasses Red Flag because we've had – I mean, look at all the – I'm not going to go into it. But it's very concerning.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
Yeah. Because I am the great, great, great, great, great grandmother. Angina. Angina, which I kind of like. I like it. We'll just add that to the list. Yesterday I had my meet curtain meemaw t-shirt that are, uh, One of our Patreon members made for me and gave it to me at the Seattle show.
I've Had It
Elder on Elder Abuse
I kind of can see that. I can, too. I mean, I kind of can see that. I mean, you know why? Because for Gen Z, their best friend has been their cell phone their whole life. Yeah. And there's such a curated nature on the social media. And it's like your life's better than mine. So I want to emulate you kind of thing. And that they just have never not had it.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
It's very difficult. It's difficult to share. Okay, the next news story is poking fun at your other half makes your relationship stronger. And it's the inside jokes between couples that cement a bond. Studies indicate that affectionate teasing... when done with respect, can boost attraction and help partners navigate conflicts more easily by reducing tension.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
It allows couples to celebrate each other's quirks in a way that builds intimacy rather than causing harm. Inside jokes, meanwhile, serve as a private language between partners, creating shared moments of laughter and reinforcing emotional closeness. Experts note that couples who frequently joke together tend to have stronger, more resilient relationships as humor enhances positivity
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
and helps maintain a sense of connection through everyday life's ups and downs. And I have to say, I can go from hating the way Josh breathes, hating the way he eats, hating him. Hating his parents for making him. Right. I mean, like I can go back to the genesis of the situation and then he will joke around with me and we both start dying laughing and he knows the exact moment to do it.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
Like when I am just like, you know, steam is coming out of my head and then he starts joking around with me and then I feel fondness and affection and all of the things. And he, a lot of times he's joking around. at me. Like he knows that I like to have a little bit of chocolate after a meal. And so we'll eat something and I'll go into the bathroom or something.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
And I come back out and I'm digging in the chocolate bowl and he always raises up and he's like, Oh, what's she doing? Is she diving in for some chocolate? Oh, there she goes. And he starts, you know, he narrates and he's always joking around with me about stuff.
I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
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I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
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I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
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I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
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I've Had It
Start Bullying Conservatives
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I've Had It
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I've Had It
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Let me tell you something that we have to discuss. Okay. Because you know Josh as well as I do. Okay. Yeah. And so long-time listeners, you all know my husband. He's vain, total metrosexual, cares a lot about his hair, a lot about his facial cream products, his outfits, all this stuff. I mean really vain, really shallow, all this stuff. So he has this problem.
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And I can never really reconcile it because the amount of time that he puts into preparing his outfits, his hair, his face, getting beard trims, all of this stuff. The way he is built when he sits down... His pants always kind of fall a little bit.
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He cares so much about his outfits. Like we have been on trips before and gone down to breakfast at the hotel and he feels really good about his outfit. Something happens in breakfast and then he decides that this outfit is not the outfit for him. And he goes back up, makes me and the boys wait in the lobby to do a costume change before we go out in a town where nobody fucking knows who we are.
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Right. But all the time we're on airplanes, we're at my son's basketball games, we're at Oklahoma City Thunder games. He's been over or he's just sitting there and he's kind of leaned over and there's an ass crack showing. And I have told him, Josh, your ass crack is showing. And he almost goes, well, there's nothing I can do about it. And then I'm like, wait a minute.
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You torture all of us waiting on you so that you can tend to all of this primping and all of these things to do. And then you don't have a fuck to give when it comes to your ass crack showing in public.
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I've been thinking about the juxtaposition lately. That tells you we're in a good place in our marriage where this is what I'm analyzing about him.
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I think it's a toddler like, you know, toddlers think if they can't see you, you can't see them. And I think it's not in front of him. And so about a year ago, I kind of got more aggressive. I'm like, you spend all this time and energy curating your appearance and then you bend over and your ass crack shows and everybody sees it on airplanes, airports, basketball games, et cetera, restaurants.
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Why don't you get some underwear that covers your ass crack all the way so that we don't have this plumber ass with, you know, this haircut that you brag about that you think is so spectacular. Like the juxtaposition is just maddening. So we started working on it underwear wise and, But recently we were at a basketball game for our son, Roman, and he's sitting on the bleacher right in front of me.
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And I just looked down and I see this ass crack and Roman's team started losing. So I just really started like hyper fixating on it, just like this article was. And I was just like, what is the psychology behind this? I need to talk to pumps about this. So I thought, you know, might as well talk about it on the podcast.
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Today we are going to review with our listeners stupid people falling for stupid things on the Internet. And as you know, there are satire websites like The Onion. And so many people fall for this stuff and really get like keyboard courage and really defend their positions against an article that is satire. And it is breathtakingly hilarious.
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And this is called eating the onion when people fall for it. So the first one that we have pumps, scientists trace heat wave to massive star at the center of the solar system. Okay. Somebody responds, it's the fucking sun, you stupid fucking fake news media motherfuckers. This is not new. Jesus God, read a book. Liberals will never cease to amaze me. And it's important to put that back up.
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It's important to point out that he says he spells cease, cease as S-E-E-S. S-E-E-S instead of cease.
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Here is an Onion Reddit and somebody, the Onion posts, every American child wakes up to coal in their stockings after parents elected Trump. Wow. Black Dog Dexter responds, sure, liberal. At least they are allowed to celebrate it under Trump.
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It shows you how stupid these people are that they always fall for the lowest hanging fruit argument. And that while they're out shopping and it's in the United States of America and most Western countries around December 25th, it is an explosion of Christmas shit everywhere. That while they're in such a setting or watching TV and it's all Christmas commercials, that they would fall for this.
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It shows how breathtakingly stupid these people are, what a low intellect they have. All right. Next up, The Onion Post. Federal government announces they've hidden briefcase full of slavery reparations somewhere in the continental U.S., Allie the Cabbage responds, this is insane. First off, reparations are crazy and not something we should be doing.
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However, at the same time, there are logistical issues with this. Number one, does only one person get it? Number two, what if a white person finds it? Oh, no. Is that systemic racism all of a sudden? And also, how do we keep people safe during this? Not surprised that the Biden administration is the one who came up with this harebrained idea.
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Okay, the next one up, there is an image of a person falling off of a fence into the hands of two men that say police ICE. And The Onion uses this image and writes the headline, ICE agents hurl pregnant immigrant over Mexican border to prevent birth on U.S. soil.
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Tara responds, I don't know if this is satire or not, but it's articles like this that are creating so many problems giving false ideology. He is clearly catching her. Okay. The Onion Post, Caitlin Clark brushes off 23 stab wounds from own teammates. Clearly satire. Clearly. Well, Allie the cabbage is back. And she says, why are they allowed knives on court? Are they actual knives? I assume not.
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But instead, I assume they are probably parts of shoes, etc. Shouldn't they design gear to be safe and not sharp? Classic WNBA woke bullshit. Maybe spend time being careful and making a good sport. Oh, wait, they can't even design gear properly. Oh, why won't anyone watch? Crying, laughing emoji, crying, laughing emoji. Boy, she spends a lot of time responding to fake news.
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Okay, the next one is a picture of the president of China, Xi, and the headline says, Pentagon officials panic after Chinese president shows up to fight them in parking lot. And Robbie Ladd responds, this wouldn't happen if Trump were president.
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All right. The Onion posts a picture of Jeff Bezos releasing drones and it says, Fly, my pretties, says Jeff Bezos, releasing swarm of Amazon drones to hunt down nude photos. And somebody responds. Kudos to you, Jeff Bezos. Fuck the media. They are ruining our country. Glad you are fighting back. How did we get there?
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These people that live in the right wing media echo chamber, it's like they have this, they only have like five arguments and it's like transgender, the media. Yeah.
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immigrants were on christmas and it's just like you just repeat rinse and repeat and that's their argument on everything right it always goes down to those factors lip tards lip tards you're woke this episode of i've had it is sponsored by better help you know you guys pumps and i are so lucky that we have each other as a support system and have for 25 years but sometimes i feel like
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I constantly have the same problem and I know she's tired of hearing about it. This is when my better help therapist comes in and it's so great to be able to log in and talk to a neutral party about the stuff that tortures me inside my brain.
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The Onion Post, two-year-old unaware he's basis for six couples' decision not to have kids, has a picture of a darling two-year-old, and he has no idea. And Wally Jones responds, I hope this child never sees this. Whoever wrote this probably thinks they wrote a clever or cute story. I think it's terrible. All kids have their moments. So she's just defending all kids. She's mad about it.
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I'll tell you what the biggest walking advertisement is for not breeding is Elon Musk having all these kids. Agree. I mean, it is just like, it makes me want to make sure that nobody is breeding if he's breeding.
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I just I don't think they can. I think that anytime you talk to any of these faith and family people, their logic falls apart so quickly. That's why they have to stay deeply embedded in their church groups, in their right wing media echo chamber, because the minute you start asking questions, it all falls apart.
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Here's a post. Frito-Lay changes color of Cheetos to avoid association with Trump. Okay. And the color of the image that's popped up, listener, is green Cheetos. And then, of course, the comments are great. Somebody posts, cheese is naturally yellow-orange. Green cheese indicates fuzzy, moldy cheese. Won't be eating any soon. I will go with the store brand Cheetos.
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Somebody else posts, they've lost my business. Wow. These businesses, they are so childish. That's rich. Another girl, color looks nasty. And then somebody else posts, if you're triggered by a color, then you need to resolve what's deep inside yourself. Liberalism is becoming a mental disorder.
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Yeah, it's the cell phones are such a mixed bag for me. Yeah. I'm so happy that I have one at times. And there are other times where I wish it was never invented at all. But the idea of filming something like you were in Vegas, right? Right. where YouTube has better quality video, I don't understand this.
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And then somebody else posts, I love these things, but I will never buy another one as long as they are green. I love my president.
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Touche. Yeah. That's a great, great response. Okay. Somebody posts, breaking Trump to call Super Bowl with Tom Brady and surprise live broadcast. Trump allegedly says, too many foreign names on the field if you ask me. Chrissy responds, well, I'm pretty sure the top half of this post was not accurate.
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And I looked like an asshole in front of all my coworkers saying at least I said I read somewhere. Obviously, I read it online. And it was not true because he did not announce or be a commentator or anything. He was just the first president to be at the game. God, I feel so stupid. At least she can admit it. Right. At least she admits it's so stupid. Okay.
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Somebody posts, man who identifies as a five-year-old dominates kids at jujitsu class. And somebody responds, now this is just wrong on so many levels. I don't care what he identifies as. He is not five. People get wound up. Wound up. Okay. The onion posts. God admits he rarely forgives. And somebody replies, bull crap news.
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Well, and it shows you how gullible they are, how they fall for all of the misinformation and disinformation that is in the right wing media echo chamber at large. Like when I see something on Twitter or on social media and it sounds kind of crazy, if I'm interested in it, I go and vet the information. These people believe everything at face value. That's why they are Trumpers.
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Well, they just have no ability to critically think or rationalize. None. Okay. The Onion Post. SpaceX reveals all 400 dogs on Falcon rocket failed to survive trip. And somebody posts, oh, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is going on? Send some fucking Democrats up into space. Send Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, Obama and Hillary. Hillary spelled H-I-L-L-E-R-Y. This must stop. This is animal cruelty.
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I'm going to file a complaint with the right people. Thanks for sharing this. A real champion for dog rights. One of these sites posted. Breaking. Apple CEO Tim Cook fires himself for not being black. Somebody responds, whoa, another level of wokeness. Oh my gosh. And this just explains so much about Trump voters. Truly. Okay. The Onion Post. Judge rules white girl will be tried as black adult.
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Somebody responds, absolute disgusting ruling at real Donald Trump. Please help her with crying face emojis. All right. The Onion Post sweating RFK Jr. performs self-surgery to extract Big Mac from stomach. And somebody responds, I don't think that would be necessary. One hamburger is not going to kill you. Okay, here's a satire post.
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The hardtimes.net satire post, Scarlett Johansson cast as first black James Bond. This person responds to, what a load of bullshit. I am so glad I am not a James Bond fan.
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People are just filming something that you can actually then go to the internet and find a much better camera angle, much better quality of filming, and then you can be like, I was right there.
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Okay, here's one. Christian Living posts, In honor of Pride Month, Chick-fil-A waffle fries will be seasoned with salt from Lot's wife. And somebody responds, People, I know you love Chick-fil-A, but if we don't take some kind of stand, you will be speaking Chinese in two years, if you can. Again, how did we get here from this Chick-fil-A fries? I don't get it. Okay. The Onion Post.
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Christmas obsessed woman worships Christ year round. Somebody responds. It's called being a Christian. Duh. Duh. Yeah. Yeah. So that's I mean, you know, I think that when you see people that eat the onion, you know, immediately, immediately they are MAGA. But it shows you how they like listen to Tucker Carlson, Fox News and all of these other ridiculous people.
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news channels that require zero critical thinking, where people, where their default setting is to be intellectually lazy to accept things at face value. How we ended up with a president like Donald Trump, because we don't embrace expertise, intelligence, deduction skills, and we celebrate kids graduating from kindergarten. Right. Like that's a big deal. We put signs in front of our yard.
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I agree. I think they need to be bullied for their abject intellectual laziness and the fact that they sit there and serve up this cruelty and that these Fox viewers sit there and digest it with glee. And I think we need to start calling out what lazy, dumb sociopaths Fox News viewers are. I think they are the dumbest people around us. It is the dumbest thing you can do. Watch Fox News.
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I think it makes you dumber. I'm sure the study will come out shortly. Right. I bet you lose IQ points. And sometimes I'm like, OK, I want to see what they're saying. I want to see how Fox News is responding to this moment. So I'll turn it on. And I'll watch like three minutes of it. And then I can't stand it because they're so breathtakingly stupid.
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And when you look at Fox News on YouTube and how many subs they have and how many people watch each video, it shows you just how stupid these people are. And then you get to people like Tucker Carlson who just are straight up. liars and on Putin's payroll, and you have people that listen to him and think that somehow he knows facts that intelligence agencies don't know. It's unbelievable.
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And I think we need to start bullying these conservatives more.
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Yeah. Okay. All right, listener. We are on YouTube. Everywhere you get your podcasts, please make sure you subscribe. We have merch. Pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
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It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
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That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there. Caw-caw.
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I hate Vegas. It is just a huge concentration of stupid people making bad decisions. It is riffraff city. It is riffraff, knickknack, paddywhack, throw a dog a bone. I just am not a big Vegas person.
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And it feels so artificial. And so like, look, we made Paris. Look, we made the Egyptian pyramids. Look, this is just, I've had it. I've had it with Vegas.
I've Had It
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Excellent. Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with signs in yards where people identify where their children goes to school. I don't think that this is something that needs to be elevated. Everybody's kids go to school, except for the weird compound-ridden homeschooler psycho people. Everybody goes to school.
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When we grew up, there weren't signs in the yard notifying everybody in the neighborhood that my parents were doing their job by sending me to school or that I was a cheerleader or that my neighbor played basketball. And I think that like this is just like the bare minimum thing that kids do as they go to school. Some kids have extracurricular activities. Some people don't.
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We don't need to put a sign in the yard indicating that our child is attending school. This is what kids do. If you're a kid, you go to school. I don't know why this is a thing. My youngest son is a senior in high school. I've never put one sign in my yard. I think it's embarrassing. I think you're celebrating the bare minimum thing that a child has to do.
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And I know there's going to be somebody going... Well, but my son played basketball or my daughter was a cheerleader. So what? Everybody's kid is something. It's enough. And then when this generation gets to work and people are like, God, they're basket cases. Well, I wonder why.
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Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Caw-caw! I saw somebody in the comment section, black lady, said, I'm a black-triot. I love that. Yeah. Black-triot. Everybody wants in on Asshole Island. They do. And I'm here for it.
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Everything they've done their entire life has been celebrated starting when they were conceived at the gender reveal party. Right. And then it just escalates from there where you're celebrating all of these basic pedestrian non-celebratory accomplishments. We have got to bring back celebrating cool things, celebrating the extraordinary. Right. I am so excited.
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tired of celebrating ordinary things that it's difficult for me to come up with compliments when somebody does something extraordinary because I feel like everything is just complimented to the hilt and I've had it.
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All right. So what we can do, adding on to our toddler advocacy program, we could also have normalizing, celebrating adults that do their jobs. Right. So in my yard, I'll put... home of an interior designer and home of a shitty podcaster signs. And then you can put the same in your yard just to show how stupid it is because most adults have a job and go to work.
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We're not putting signs in our yard. And to the participation trophies, I understand that like there's been this psychological movement that we want all kids to feel good at all times. And if somebody wins an award and somebody doesn't, their feelings can get hurt. And I understand the psychology behind that. And I don't want to be a Debbie Downer or the skunk at the garden party.
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However, I think that we're missing the point that adulthood is about disappointment. Right. I am disappointed. Right. all the time as an adult. It's how you manage your disappointment that matters. And if you're not preparing your kids that, first of all, sports, there's always a winner and there's always a loser.
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And most of the time, the majority of the time, you're going to be the loser unless you're just some exceptional, gifted genetic freak. And I just think that this is bananas. I think celebrating that you and I showed up here today would be ridiculous. And everybody has a job. All kids go to school. Shut the fuck up about it. I've had it.
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The more, the merrier. Yes. As everybody knows, this is America's top DEI podcast. 100%. We are the top DEI podcast, proud allies of the Rainbow Mafia, and proud supporters of human rights, and fierce MAGA slayers. Fierce MAGA haters on top of that.
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This is the reason the United States of America is ranked so low in education compared to other developed nations, because we're celebrating graduating from high school to an extreme where it should just be like, yeah, this is a part of it. Like you have to graduate from high school. We're making it into this huge, huge, huge accomplishment that, of course, we say, I'm so proud of you.
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This is great. You're about to start the next chapter. But the sign in the yard, 1900 graduation parties, 19 million posts. The pictures. Oh, my God. God, it's just like, and then these kids go out into adulthood and then once everybody's coddled, babied, helicoptered, tomahawk choppered over them forever, these Gen Zers, then they get into the workforce and they have no coping skills.
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They can't manage their emotions. Nobody's having it. Oh my God, you arrived at work on time today. Let's do a photo and post it up on Instagram. Okay. And so they don't have the social skills or the hustle or the grit to handle it. And then the same people that coddled them are like, you guys are pussies. Right. And so it's just like they can't win. Right.
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And I think that we have to stop celebrating the bare minimum and stop celebrating normalcy.
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It is. I think the schools sometimes allow the parents to have too much power. Way too much. And I think you shouldn't have homeroom moms. Nope. I don't think you should have a bunch of moms up there choppering around. I just, in a kindergarten graduation, it's so breathtakingly stupid. My kid's school didn't have that. Did yours?
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I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is America's, she's America's everything. Your favorite DEI everything. Kylie's here with us today.
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that's true i agree that's 100 true we are libtards we are not reasonable and we are incredibly biased i do think we're worthy of a two to three star though i agree even with the passion that we have for our libtardness right i think i get a star i think a two to three star would be far more appropriate okay i have a couple of news stories i would like to share with you all first one is
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Getting angry at people when we listen to them breathing or eating is called misophonia and is an actual brain disorder. Feeling irritated by sounds like breathing or eating is known as misophonia, a strong emotional reaction to specific noises. Common triggers include chewing, slurping, heavy breathing, often leading to anger or anxiety.
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I really am. You know what? I mean, you think they would be embarrassed for themselves, but the extra work that they take to humiliate themselves online is breathtaking.
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I think sometimes, like I will say, sometimes when I hear you vaping through my earphones. Bugs you. Bugs the shit out of me. And I think it's because I hear it all the time and I hear this. And I look over and it's lighting up and you're just like, ooh. Like, and I'm just like, and I don't know, I think it's probably because I don't want you to do it.
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But you don't bug me in general. I think it's me not wanting you to vape. So when I see you do it, I'm like, God, I wish you'd quit vaping.
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And then it's a slight... What's it called? Misophonia. But I do think there are certain people that it gets triggered no matter what. I think at some point, whenever you're married to somebody, you experience this. And it's so crazy how you go from like, you're in love. You can't wait to be around each other. Pheromones are popping off.
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And then you think, okay, we're going to get married and our marriage is going to be so different. Right. Perfect. We are going to really crack the case on this relationship thing. And a lot – most people believe that. Like, oh, no, we're different. Or we are not like that. Or my husband and I aren't like this. My wife would never do this.
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And then you get to a point where you've got a couple kids. You've got bills. You know, the hammered dog shit of life is just kind of raining down on you. And you're like looking over like, I don't want to fuck him tonight. Right. I just can't do it. And then you start looking at the way they're breathing. And then you're like, I hate the oxygen going in and the carbon dioxide going out.
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Kylie, I think you did a great job despite pumps, poo-pooing your efforts. Thank you. I'm not poo-pooing your effort, but I'm saying it's like shooting. And I want to thank you for the production time and care that you put into this episode. She's a millennial. Her feelings are softer than ours.
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Well, they know that when they hear the word race, they know what they are with that. Okay, that's fair. So they immediately – but she couldn't keep – she couldn't explain it to her because if she could speak freely, she would say – Because I don't think we should teach people that black people are equal to us. That's what that lady wanted to say, but she knows she can't say it.
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Plus, she doesn't really know what critical race theory is, but she knows she's a racist. She knows it's about race. So it didn't take much for her to connect the dots there. She knows that if you're a racist, Trump's your guy. Right. And he's fucking morons. All right, Kylie, who's next?
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Breathing Stupid Air
I am so sorry because we all know at your advanced age how important your sleep is for you.
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Breathing Stupid Air
To me, this group of people are so willfully uninformed, and they don't know what they're talking about. And at the end of the day, Donald Trump speaks to their racist default settings. And if you have to run around saying stuff like, I don't see color, and I'm not a racist, and quit calling me a racist, you're probably a racist. Right. Yeah. Okay, Kylie, what's next?
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Breathing Stupid Air
You know what I like about that guy? He just he didn't miss a beat. They've got to dig in. They've got to dig in. You know, people are eating hamburgers. Nobody knows where it's come from. She's like cows. He's like, exactly. Yeah. Just he never broke character of the confidence. Right, no, he was feigning. He stayed in character the entire time.
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We could sit here and paint negative faces of all times in America. Correct. You know, only white people would say that. That's a uniquely white perspective to say those specific eras and would say, oh, you can paint negatives all you want. That is a white male. You know, 100 percent that that only exists with that group of people.
I've Had It
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I'm so sorry. A lot of stuff has happened since January 20th. And let me tell you what's been happening to me ever since January 20th. I've had it with left turn ruiners. Here's what I'm talking about. I'm driving and I need to make a left turn. So I turn on my signal and I'm stopped in the middle of the road and I'm starting to do the math.
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Okay. So here are some posts on the Internet. And these are MAGA cell phones. And a gal tweets this. You know, before QAnon, no one had ever told me that I was intelligent, that my voice was important or that my story mattered. And now I have friends all over the world that share my values and offer support. The greatest gift that Q ever gave us was each other. Where we go one, we go all. Wow.
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Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Well, I think what I've read about this is cults give people a sense of community. Right. And a lot of these people are broken, lonely. Here she says her own words. No one had ever told her she was in town. So probably not the sharpest tool in the shed. And she goes and finds a sense of community and belonging.
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And so half the time getting people deprogrammed from this MAGA cult would also be stripping them of their support system, albeit a negative, toxic, dangerous one. We still crave as a species the sense of belonging and community.
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Yeah, but think about, you spent the first two to three decades of your life believing that the Earth was 5,000 years old. Touche. I mean, you know what I mean? Right. Millions of people believe conspiracy theories every day. They're just accepted and normalized.
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There are people that believe literally that there was a snake talking in the Garden of Eden, that Jonah lived in a whale and they believe this, but it's been accepted and normalized as, oh... Those are okay to believe. That insanity is okay to believe. So when that sets the psychological soil, when you've believed for multiple decades
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everything anti-science it's not that big of a jump to extend those same crazy beliefs and absorb new ones to me it makes perfect sense that the through line from you know believing denying facts all through your rearing early adulthood and then you end up in a q anon to me it's like the perfect extension of think about the most religious people you personally know they're trump supporters 100%.
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And it's a through line to easily, to deny facts and believe conspiracy theories. Yeah. I had never even thought of that. Stick with me. I got you covered. Lots of hot takes today. Okay. Whoa, Vicky posted. Why does Democrat have the word demon in it? No. Readers added context. So this is like one of those community responses or whatever it's called. Readers added context. It does not.
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I'm like, okay, after the white car, it looks like I'm gonna have about a 10 second break. And then I'm going to be able to just, you know, go right in. Then out of nowhere, the white car starts pumping the brakes. Not one signal. Not one turn signal. They slow down and then just make this sly, unannounced, unauthorized right turn that completely screws up all of my calculations.
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Okay. A.K.A. Face Hots post. Donald Trump arrested and shot. Alex Jones sued for his entire net worth. Andrew Tate arrested. Tristan Tate arrested. Pavel Durov arrested. Yay. Frozen assets. Elon sued. Meanwhile, not a single Democrat has been touched.
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Kanye West and Elon. But here's the most hilarious part, is that they believe that they don't see that this is a false equivalency. In their mind, they come from a position that... Everybody is immoral and breaks laws and would cheat because that's what they all do. So that's one standard. And then he says, meanwhile, not a single Democrat has been touched.
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And it's like because they don't crime at the rate that all of these blowhards do. I mean, I think that Senator Menendez was just sentenced to jail. And it's not it's not true that Democrats don't. But particularly MAGA Republicans, in my opinion, appear to commit crimes that
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specifically crimes against women yes and financial financial at a rate that no other political movement i've ever seen does well i wonder why shit rolls downhill okay and then here we have a tattoo where this woman has tattooed on her back Jesus trumps everything.
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And for those of you that are listening, not watching, it has like Trump with the American flag with a little S. Jesus and Trump are everything. And the T in everything is a Christian cross. Oh, I didn't see that. Let me see.
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And I just, you know, the marriage of these evangelical Christians and Trump is just like, it's like straight out of central casting. You couldn't put two groups of people together when they are one unified in the exact same thing. They all need money all the time. You know, like if you listen to an evangelical Christian, it's like Jesus is broke, right? Right. Always asking for money.
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Who else is always asking for money? Trump. Oh, you know what I read? What? A lot of his donors, like small-time donors, are signed up to like donate $15 a month for the campaign. They're still giving to him even though he's president.
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Ultra Maga Kimmy posts, why do you honestly think white people are racist? I want facts. And John Fuglesang responds, where was Barack Obama born, please? And she responds, Kenya. Yeah. Nailed it. Ultra MAGA Kimmy. I mean, it's just amazing how he was able to just, it's lost on her. Lost. It's completely lost on her. Her racism is so cooked in to who she is as a default setting.
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Then I'm like, oh, nice signal, schmohawk. Way to go, you asshole. And then I'm all wound up. Or you have the person that turns out into the lane and completely ruins your calculations. And I have noticed an uptick. in left turn saboteurs ever since January 20th. And I was wondering if you'd noticed the same.
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I mean, here's the thing, world. Like, it's wild because I see the United States and Trumpism exactly through the same lens that you do. Right. I'm just in it. I'm in the picture. And it's so difficult. Like, recently, the Canadians are all united and they're like, we... Fuck the United States.
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Let's everybody band together and not buy their products anymore and stand up against fascism and stand up against this tyrant dictator. Go, Canada. I'm like jealous and envious that they're all united in that cause because I see exactly what the problem is. I see exactly how he is perceived. I see the headlines across the globe where they're calling this man stupid and idiot.
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capacities are so completely compromised. That's never covered in the press. Never. You hear him ramble on about Hannibal Lecter and all that shit. It's just... I just am very sorry to the entire world that the United States has fostered an ability for millions of Americans to be dumb and vote for stupid people.
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They know. Well, here's what's just... fascinating to me people that don't live here right and can just sit back and watch this show are willfully signing up to make america great again and you live in australia that is a level of stupidity that tortures me that that exists i get that you're an american and you were educated
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in this country and probably went to some mega church and had to deal with all the fuckery of nonstop capitalism and not having health care and feeling like you never get a fair shake. I can understand the vacuum that exists that lit the match that caused MAGA. I cannot understand an Australian male that's probably never been to the United States of America trafficking in this bullshit.
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That's stopped. But, you know, I think that what it shows is that these online indoctrination cults is a very serious thing. Like this QAnon, and they rope people in by like the grooming, like something that everybody can get behind. Like QAnon people think they're so universally unique that they oppose pedophilia and molestation. Right. And here's my thing. It is a foregone conclusion.
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Everybody opposes pedophilia except for pedophiles. I don't have to wake up every morning and announce to the world I oppose grooming and pedophilia because it is a foregone conclusion. I simply don't think about it every waking hour of every waking day because I know that there are agencies and departments that handle it. It's horrific. It is terrible.
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But they rope these people in with these basic things. But I think, I just think that when you have like these church organizations, all these priests and All these QAnon people worried about pedophilia. I just think underneath all of that, there's probably pedophiles. Well, I mean... That's just what I think.
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It really is. I've noticed that as well. I've noticed that there's just a lack of consideration. I feel like there is, you know, I feel like, you know, we breathe oxygen. I feel like I'm breathing a lot more stupid oxygen. Have you felt that? Yes. And I feel like just the world gets dumber by the day. Yeah. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie.
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It's crazy. I mean, when I think about this, I just still can't believe it. And I've said it on this podcast before, and I'll say it again. When I think about that the Catholic Church is still up and running and in business, after it was revealed a decades-long...
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child rape organization and cover up across multiple countries where child rapists were enabled and protected to the tune of millions of victims worldwide. A study shows that just in France alone, there was a half a million victims. And that causes generational damage when these people have their own families. The fact that that didn't shut down the Catholic Church will forever blow my mind.
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And it shows me that at the end of the day, people don't have really, really strong convictions like they think they do.
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I just, I just, I can't believe it. I mean, I just, as a parent, you know, if you're trying, if something like that happened to your child with a trusted person, the fact that you would still continue to give money and participate in an organization. And then if you found out they fucking knew, right.
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They knew and they move priests from one place to a new place, a whole new slew of victims and covered up and enabled it. how you could continue to be a part of that is a level of cognitive dissonance that I cannot understand. It like goes against what I'm genetically encoded to be as a mother, which is like a fierce protector.
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And I just, it, it, it's, it blows my fucking mind more than the Australians wearing MAGA hats is that the Catholic church is still open for business. All right, Kylie, who's next?
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She's the star of the show who is not getting much sleep, but you're still beautiful. Well, thank you. Okay. Kylie's here with us.
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The day that Donald Trump was inaugurated, January 20th, this episode is coming full circle, listener. January 20th, he stood on stage and did two SIG Hiles. And what that represents historically is so horrific. And the fact that people think that he is cool and would buy his merchandise is right up there with what I was talking about with the Catholic Church. Having zero conviction.
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And the fact that... That news story, these people do so much fucked up evil shit day in and day out that that kind of lived for a day or two. And then they just replace it with a bunch more evil fucked up shit that further marginalizes people is so horrific to me. But I think if you saw that, if you saw that. Sig Heil. And you know what that means. And you're not a dipshit.
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And you drive a Tesla. Fuck you. I think it is so... These people are Nazis. This is abhorrent. People keep making space and room to move around morally and mentally and all the gymnastics that they have to do to support... These evil fucking billionaires. And it is disgusting. It's disgusting to me that people don't have the backbone or the courage to stand up to these evil fuckers.
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Everything with you always goes back to the penis size. But the bigger the truck, the smaller the penis. And that thing is just awful. I'm telling you. No, it's awful. We could line them up. No, it's awful. I just, I can't believe the...
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brazen openness of nazism since january 20th i mean it started before then you know charlottesville but it has escalated at such a rate and that is just so disturbing to me that certain individuals companies and brands wouldn't completely distance themselves immediately from
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from the trump administration after that act and the attempted uh gaslighting to the public that he meant what he meant or what he didn't mean is such bullshit and i hate him and i just think you're a the richest man on the planet and this is how you spend your spare time right I mean, think about that.
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You should have lots to do. It's 11 kids. 11 kids. I mean, think about that. You're the richest man on the planet, and this is what you do. It's not making a foundation to help people. You're taking U.S. aid away from people. You're harming people. It's literally like this – Kylie in an episode, I have an episode recently called him a supervillain. And that's what it's like.
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It's like some character, the world's richest man doing evil shit to hurt people. It's just, it's overwhelming to think about. But the fact that you have brands that, you know, promote Tesla and suck up to Elon Musk and don't have the courage or the moral fortitude to stand up to him is absolutely disgusting to me.
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It's gross. And Tesla's suck. And cyber trucks are not even attractive. No, they're horrible. All right, listen, if you want more politics, follow IHIP News. Check out our Patreon. Subscribe to our podcast. Write us a review and pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that.
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This podcast is awful. So much. Okay. Here's the deal. Had we won JFerg, we'd still be angry and bitter. Right.
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Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
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This is okay. So listener, viewer, here's where we are right now. This convicted felon, con man, bankruptor of all businesses, throws out so much shit all the time. It's like this lazy Susan of fuckery, nonstop, day in, day out. And sometimes it just seems insurmountable to even— try to pick one thing off the lazy Susan to tackle. Right.
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So Pumps and I like to focus on something tangible that everybody can get behind, that the majority of Americans would agree upon. And that is, and I've noticed since January 20th, this has gotten worse. I agree. He's going full Oompa Loompa. Yeah. Kylie, you can put up a picture. for our YouTube viewers to see of his most recent press conference.
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We have grayish white eyebrows, unblended orange makeup. The hair looks crazier. And I just think, is this one thing that Congress could vote on? You know, like, if you're going to wear makeup, male or female, trans, we don't care. Blend it.
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You know, I think about this a lot. Like, you're 78 years old. You're not a spring chicken. You're a billionaire. And you're pretty intellectually lazy. Why on earth would you want to be president just to fuck with people? Because that's what he's doing. He's just fucking with people. He's fucking with black people. He's fucking with poor people. He's fucking with gay people.
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He's fucking with trans people. And it's like, so, OK, we know you're grifting. You have that online flea market where you sell all the riffraffs and knickknacks. So what, you can leave all this money to your kids that you hate? Because, I mean, you can tell he doesn't really like his kids very much.
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What did I say? That had he been, had he not won, he would have gone to prison because if there was a God, that would have happened. Right. Right. You know, that would have happened. You're right. Okay. Let's read some non-political news real quick before we dive into our episode. And here's a story I thought pumps might find entertaining. Mum, M-U-M.
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Mum sends five smelly kids to school, saying skipping baths won't harm them. Australian blogger Constance Hall explained that taking care of a large family requires her to make compromises, and giving her kids a daily bath isn't one of her priorities. To save time, she skips their baths on certain days, which she believes is completely fine.
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Fine, go to school smelly and let everyone deal with it, Constance said in a post on Mamma Mia back in 2019. She added, I honestly can't be bothered bathing everyone every night and backed up her choice by referencing advice from the American Academy of Dermatology, which say that kids age 6 to 11 only need to bathe once or twice a week unless they are dirty, sweaty, or have a skin issue.
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Constance says, I know they look cuter when they're clean and smell fresh, but honestly, missing a night bath or a morning shower a couple times a week isn't going to hurt them. What are your thoughts on this?
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I agree with that. I agree that they probably don't have to have a bath every single day. My kids did. It was just a part of like the winding down ritual. It was something to do. Yes. And it was just a winding down, like routine ritual type thing. Same. But once they hit, I think my kids hit... five or six, they were bathing on their own.
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Yeah, I don't understand why she's not just throwing him in the shower. I don't know why you're giving an 11-year-old a bath. I think that's really weird. Yeah, I don't know. I just think.
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And let's face it, a 6-year-old isn't drowning in a bathtub. No. No. And if you're worried about it, throw them in the shower. It's just not that hard. Okay. Next up. Doctors say that people should not be on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes. Doctors warn that spending over 10 minutes on the toilet may contribute to significant...
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health risks such as heightened likelihood of hemorrhoids and weakened pelvic muscles. Prolonged sitting combined with gravitational pressure can impair blood circulation, straining veins and rectal muscles. To prevent these issues, experts recommend minimizing distractions like phone use in the bathroom and prioritizing a diet rich in fiber and hydration to promote healthy bowel habits.
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I think, you know, in the toilet, you've got some cheek spreadage. Oh, yeah, the spread. Pressure down on the rectum that's maybe a little different because like right now you're kind of – the cheeks are pushed together. Right. I'm no doctor. I'm no scientist. I'm no researcher. But I'm pretty sharp when it comes to deduction skills.
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That would be my thing is the toilets are kind of – They're meant to spread it. It's a spread. My thing on this is this is a male problem. Agree. Men – I spend way too much time sitting on the toilet.
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It is, I remember when my kids were really little and it would be the weekend and that's where I would like, Josh, you know, like you need to do some stuff with them because I did most of the stuff during the week and he would have to go take a shit. And I'm talking 30, 45 minutes would go by. And that's just, and I would say there's no way that it takes this long. It's just not possible.
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Okay, here's what we're going to do with this story. We're going to change. We're going to move the goalpost here in a little bit, just a bit, and say this started on January 20th.
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And then just, this is an aside. Yeah. that we have to talk about. You and Josh are the only two people I know who don't have any sense whatsoever of safe potty syndrome.
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Josh and I were walking into the U.S. Open tennis tournament, New York City. So excited. Get off the subway. We're walking, you know. down to Arthur Ashe Stadium. And as we're going through security, Josh looks around, he gets this big smile on his face. And I thought he was going to be like, this is amazing. And he goes, okay, now I just need to find a restroom so I can go take a shit.
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It was like, almost like, like that place was a fire hydrant and like taking a shit there. And I on my way to the U.S. Open, I could hold it until all the way to the very, I made it back to the hotel room.
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I've never been able to. I can. I will go. I mean, it has to be a dire situation for me to go number two in public. I mean, we have to have a 9-1-1 situation. And it's been very rare that I have to do that. Most of the time, I can make an exit strategy to get home.
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Oh my God. She is back. patriots, gay-triots, and they-triots. Caw, caw, caw. All right, listen up. In Trump's America, it's important, you know, on our other podcast, IHIP News, we talk about all of the insanity that's going on. But on this podcast, I've had it. It's a time to laugh and be cynical and be a staple and asshole island.
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It started on January 20th. And Apple has gone to hell in a handbasket. And this is what happens in Trump's America. Meemaw, who is already technologically deficient, to say the least. And then you've got an entire oligarchical despot hijacking your phone and waking you up in the middle of the night with these ridiculous news stories.
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Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
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In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. I want to move on to... You know, remember when Kamala first announced her candidacy? Yes. And she launched the Kamala HQ? Yep.
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And they were kind of bullying conservatives, calling them weird, and just like kind of making fun of how stupid they are. And I loved it, and everybody loved it. Everyone sort of was like, oh my God, yes, we can finally bully conservatives. So today's episode, what we're going to do is bully MAGA.
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Yeah, I thought it'd be really fun. Kylie has prepared some videos and found some maga lunacy online for all of us to laugh at.
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Let's give each other a big smile and let's both move on right on down the road. Let's go over all of the stuff that's going on in each other's personal lives. Let's just skip to the end of this. How do you do that? Bye. It was great to see you. Let's just skip to bye. It was great seeing you. So they come up to you. Let's role play. They come up to you. Hi, it's so good to see you.
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I haven't seen you in forever. Oh my gosh. It's great seeing you. Good to see you.
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How are you? Fantastic. I'm about to hop on a call, but it was lovely seeing you. Hopefully we'll see each other again some other time. Never. I like it. That seems smoother. I feel like that closes it out better.
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I'd love to chat with you, but I'm expecting a phone call in any second. And so I can't really get into this, but I hope you have a great meal. Then you just keep your phone right on the table. And maybe you could pick it up from time to time and act like you were talking on it. Take a bite of food, kind of look over at her or him. Yeah, that's a good tip. Okay. That might work.
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I have some stories from the news that I would like to share. Okay. One is that two inmates made a, quote, miracle baby without ever meeting. And you might think, hmm, how did this happen? Well, two Miami-Dade prison inmates achieved the impossible deed of conceiving a child without ever meeting.
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Inmates Daisy Link and Joan DePaz began conversing through neighboring AC vents in their cells and eventually started dating despite having never met or laid eyes on each other. The two were able to complete the task by putting bodily fluids in saran wrap and Which was then passed through the vents. She's a miracle baby. She's a blessing.
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I've had it with people that say, I think we're getting some weather later this week. Just stop, okay? Why are we not using descriptive adjectives any longer? Why are we just saying, yeah, it looks like we're going to get some weather? You have weather every day.
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Link said about the Virgin Mary process of conceiving her daughter. I don't believe that.
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Well, no. She's an inmate. So she's probably screwed a guard. And the guard doesn't want to lose his job and lose access to her. So he's like, hey, ask such and such in the vent next door. Because how does the vent, how does that? See, there's just, I just do not buy that.
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What if I'm the warden of the jail and I'm like, this stinks to high heaven? I'm going to conduct an investigation. I want DNA on that baby, DNA on all the guards. Would you have to have some sort of court order to get somebody's DNA, right? Yeah, I think you'd have to get a court order for sure. I think this could be something that you could lead up.
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Okay. Here's another one. A church in Switzerland is using AI-powered Jesus for spiritual conversations. A small church in Switzerland has made headlines for installing an AI-powered Jesus in its confessional booth, offering visitors the chance to converse with a digital avatar of Jesus in 100 languages.
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The church, known for being one of the oldest in Lucerne, made the bold decision to replace the priest...
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with a computer set up in the confessional after training the ai on the theological text visitors could ask the digital jesus questions receiving real-time answers generated by artificial intelligence the experience was not intended to replace confession but to offer a space for professional or i'm sorry for personal reflection and spiritual interaction
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Yeah, I kind of like it. If you're a churchgoer and you're Catholic and you have to go to confession, you might as well talk to AI Jesus instead of these creepy old priests. Right.
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I just – I'm not Catholic, but priests worry me nonstop. Especially in a confined space one-on-one. If I'm in an airport and I see a priest or out in public and I see a priest – I immediately think, oh, God, because there's just been such a large body of evidence and statistically a very high number, very screwed up priest.
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Every single day, there is weather. It's either good weather, bad weather, windy weather, tornadic weather, all sorts, icy weather. At the dentist, I was there, and this man walks in. And the receptionist was like, do you have a good weekend? He goes, yeah. She said, did you get some weather where you went? What? Why are we just saying weather?
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I mean, statistically, if you had dentists with that large of a percentage that were child rapists, it would be very alarming to the profession of dentistry. Be like, what's going on here? But with priests, you have it documented multiple different countries, multiple different decades.
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And so I think this, if you're, I'm not a churchgoer, but if you've got to go, you know, confess and do all this stuff, I'm such an asshole that I would try to stump the AI Jesus. Yeah, but I wonder if you can. I'm sure that you could be like, well, who made God? How was God created? Right. You know, I mean, you could just keep, because it probably just has all the Bible stuff in it. Right.
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Which is contradictory in and of itself. All right. Kylie, do you have any what do you have for us? We have voice memos today. Excellent.
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So this is the kind of communication I like. It's simple. It's straight to the point. There wasn't a lot of unnecessary points that she made.
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Okay. I love that he likes the content that it provides. Right. Because then it provides him this grievance. And that's so relatable.
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It's really gross. And I just think there's a lot of riffraff and knickknacks being sold. And I don't think there's any oversight. It's just like these free markets going crazy with all this shit. And there's no inspection. There's no standard. You don't know if the stuff that they're baking, how old were the eggs that you used for the milk?
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When somebody says this to me again, I'm going to say, what kind of weather? To what are you specifically referring? And don't you notice, like, when people age, the weather becomes this all-consuming thing.
I've Had It
See You Never
Zero. Zero oversight. You don't know if this person's a serial killer putting arsenic in it. You have no idea. It's the wild, wild west out there on Facebook marketplace. And another thing, Facebook is just unbelievable. The other day I had to get on there. Somebody was like, do you remember such and such that we went to high school with?
I've Had It
See You Never
And I was like, let me see if I can remember what they look like. That's why I have Facebook. So I enter their name. I'm like, oh, yeah. So then I was like, I wonder what the hell's going on here. So I go to the feed. It's so breathtakingly stupid. All you have to do is spend a total of 15 seconds on the Facebook feed and you immediately go crazy. Oh, this is why Trump won.
I've Had It
See You Never
I get it. Because I'm so far outside of that whole conspiracy cult, crazy QAnon shit. It is the reality that all of these people live in on Facebook when they sell all this shit and don't clean their kitchens. Yeah.
I've Had It
See You Never
I will say something else you do. What? And when we do our other podcasts, this word comes up a lot. What? And it's like some mental tick that you have. Oh, God. Instead of saying advocate, A-D-V-O-C-A-T-E, every single time it comes up, you say abdicate. Abdicate.
I've Had It
See You Never
Abdicate. Like D where the V is? Yeah. Like you use the word abdicate for advocate. Just want to bring it to your attention. Okay. These are good tips. Mm-hmm.
I've Had It
See You Never
I have, actually. Yeah. Well, why didn't someone tell me before now? I've tried to tell you, but you snapped back at me, and you were really mean and abusive, and so I didn't want to go down that road with you.
I've Had It
See You Never
You wouldn't believe how abusive she is to me. I am definitely the abuse. I crack the whip. She's able to just sit down and put on this southern charm thing, but the minute we wrap filming here, you would not believe the terror that she's going to put everybody through.
I've Had It
See You Never
I have to say that's a very good little punch list of things that society can work on to improve. I appreciate the specificity in each and every grievance and the care that he took to articulate these massive social violations, starting with that preacher. I'm so tired. I mean, sick to death. People feeling like that talk about religion all the time. It drives me fucking bananas.
I've Had It
See You Never
See, I never look ever right as I'm walking out the door. I'm like, oh, I should probably check the weather now. I have just noticed with older people, it is this all consuming nonstop barrage of talk about the weather. It's nonstop. Everybody's talking about the weather. It's like there's nothing you can do about it. And it reminds me very much of this obsession with being thirsty.
I've Had It
See You Never
And as somebody from the Bible Belt, when I finally get the fuck out of here and go to a big city, if I was on the subway and somebody started Bible thumping, I just think I would be like, shut the For fuck's sake. Everybody knows that the book exists. We know what the consequences are. It's a foregone conclusion at this point in everybody's life. Either you're for it or you're against it.
I've Had It
See You Never
Move on down the road. Shut the fuck up. Quit talking about it. I've had it.
I've Had It
See You Never
I don't think she said, I'm running late, so I'll clip my toenails on the subway. I think that's an attention seeker.
I've Had It
See You Never
I mean, here's the thing, Robbie Ken James from Australia. I completely agree with you on all of this because when I travel abroad, I'm lost when people start talking about Australia. You know, kilometers per hour. I don't know. I have no idea what that means. We are not. We're basically it's kind of a sift through. You're taught very quickly how to do it one time and one time only.
I've Had It
See You Never
America is very ethnocentric. Yeah. The majority of Americans, if you show them a map of the United States of America and say, where is Florida? The majority would not be able to tell you. The majority of the people don't know who the vice president is. Right. So to think that somehow this...
I've Had It
See You Never
Below average population that just elected Donald Trump is going to be able to tackle and convert an entire country of 330 million people to the metric system is such a big swing because we are so over our skis over here. We are literally on top. on the precipice of fascism right now. And I appreciate the vote of confidence.
I've Had It
See You Never
I appreciate that you would even take the time to have a grievance towards us because we're not even worthy of a grievance right now. But I agree the metric system is better. A lot of stuff everybody else does makes a lot more sense than what we do. But the United States is the most ethnocentric country in the world. And I don't see that ever changing.
I've Had It
See You Never
No. I mean, you know, like there's in the United States, the phrase medical bankruptcy is a real thing. One of the most religious first world countries and the richest first world countries. And people can go bankrupt and die because they get cancer. And that's how our citizens are treated. So nobody really here gives a shit if people know how to convert.
I've Had It
See You Never
It's just this consuming nonstop. And now we're just leaving out descriptive adjectives. Boy, sure does look like we're in for some weather.
I've Had It
See You Never
But my brain, I learned inches, pounds, all of that. So it's very difficult for me, especially as a designer. I can walk into a room and kind of scale it in feet and inches in my brain. And then when I do work with, you know, a European company or a South American company, they'll start talking about the metric system. Like, I'm sorry. I don't know. I can't do this.
I've Had It
See You Never
It's Trump's America. Moving forward, Patriots, I just want to tell you that when he won before, it was the resistance. Now Pumps and I are starting the rebellion. So that's number one. We're the rebels. Number two, everything. that happens bad in your life from this point moving forward, everything you were to say out loud, no matter who's around, thanks a lot, Trump.
I've Had It
See You Never
Thanks so much, Donald Trump. Or that's what happens in Trump's America. Like if you walk up to a hostess stand And you say, I have a reservation at seven, but I'm five minutes late. Sorry, it's still going to be about 30 minutes for your table. I guess this is what happens when the country votes for Trump. And I want you to look at the hostess like it's her fault personally.
I've Had It
See You Never
And we just need to start. They've acted crazy for nine years now, running around in those hats, acting like nuts, nonstop, taking a shit in the Capitol, all that stuff. We have to match that crazy. We have to match that intensity. And so it's just insane. Everything that goes wrong. You're playing tennis. You lose a match. You hit a ball out. Thanks a lot, Trump. Yeah.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah. There's just no decency anymore. Nobody's looking at the road anymore ever since that guy won. You voted for him, didn't you? You have a Stanley Cup in that car? Knew it. All right.
I've Had It
See You Never
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
See You Never
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
See You Never
Are you? Yeah. Just like I am with Stanley Cubs. I'm going to resist the urge to be uncreative conversationally and start talking about the weather. Because you know what I would rather embrace?
I've Had It
See You Never
would love to embrace silence. I remember on that flight, I was sitting four rows back from you and I was trying to embrace silence when you're chatting up that flight attendant.
I've Had It
See You Never
And with one click, you can see everything. the day's forecast, a seven-day forecast, a 30-day forecast. You can even, with two clicks, go back and to see what the temperature was last year. You can see what direction the wind's going. You can see it all. So I don't want to talk about it because I can just look at it and then move on. And so I'm really going to resist this.
I've Had It
See You Never
And I'm so tired of sitting through Conversations about the weather and I have had it from top to bottom with people leaving out descriptive adjectives and saying, boy. Looks like we're in for some weather.
I've Had It
See You Never
All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kathy is on the soundboard today. Kathy, do you have any reviews from the internet regarding our podcast?
I've Had It
See You Never
I was just about to offer effusive praise to the listener for getting us to 12,000. And then you... Realize you misspoke and we're 200 shy of that. And I just don't know, especially if we're sitting here talking about the weather, how on earth we're going to get 200 additional reviews. I don't know that this is possible. Probably people are going to start taking their reviews back.
I've Had It
See You Never
Jackie, thank you very much. She's a leader. We love you, Jackie. That's the kind of leadership this country needs.
I've Had It
See You Never
I cannot agree any more with that, Walt's wife. There's nothing more maddening than when you go to have an hour of me time at the nail salon and then somebody wants to chat with you about the weather. that's coming in. Looks like we're getting some weather. And I want to be like, looks like you're getting a case if you need to shut the fuck up. I mean, it's just, I could not agree more.
I've Had It
See You Never
They're very good at following your lead. Agree. If I sit down and I want to chat, ask how their pets are doing, ask how their kids are doing. And we do that for about five minutes of pleasantries because I really like those ladies. Then I put my earbuds in and dive into a show. And it is just they completely pick up what the customer is putting down.
I've Had It
See You Never
I was at the dentist yesterday and it was Christmas music the entire time.
I've Had It
See You Never
And that is an art form that is dying off left and right. You have to pick up what people are putting down. If you get on a plane. And the person seated next to you puts on their earphones. Do not talk to them. Don't even try. Don't look at them. Don't talk to them. Don't touch them. Even if the flight attendant is trying to get their attention, don't intervene. Just let it all play out.
I've Had It
See You Never
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
See You Never
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
See You Never
One of the things that I'm really focusing on right now, a goal of mine, closing out the year that I want to transfer over to the next calendar year, is using friendly enough language when somebody stops by your table that you know at a restaurant or you bump into at the grocery store, but always using closing statements.
I've Had It
See You Never
Not leaving open ended statements out there. The other day we were at a Mexican restaurant and a guy came over and said, hey, I know Josh. Listener, as you know, Josh is my husband. I was like, oh, yeah, it's great to see you. Meaning I wanted it to end. friend I was with started talking about all sorts of things that just kept it open ended.
I've Had It
See You Never
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. All right. Listen up, listener. We have a lot of grievances. It's time to get back to laughing. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
See You Never
And that's when I just thought I have to get up and go to the bathroom. I can't. I've gotten so it's difficult for me to feign interest in things I'm not interested in in Trump's America. I don't have any of that in me. I'm unable to feign it. And I blame Trump for this. I was going to say, I think you were headed that way long before.
I've Had It
See You Never
I blame this on Trump because I am incapable of feigning interest whatsoever. I don't care what your kid did. I don't care what your kid's doing. I don't even care to say, oh, my God, tell him I said hi. Because what difference does that make? I haven't seen this person in 10 years or maybe I vaguely know them. I just I'm incapable of feigning. I'm craving just authenticity.
I've Had It
See You Never
I wish that somebody would I wish what my goal for this next calendar year. OK, here it is. When they say, how have you been? I just want to look at him and go, you know, all right. This Trump victory is just really kind of got me not feeling great about myself or around other people. Did you vote for him? And they say, yeah. I say, you know what? Let's just go in this conversation now.
I've Had It
See You Never
No bad blood, but let's just end it. Let's just be dead. Let's end it and let's not fake and pretend like we care what each other's family members are doing because I know I don't give a shit. what yours are doing. And I know you don't give a shit what mine are doing. So why are we faking this?
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah. It's, you know, the war on Christmas was decided a long time ago. A long time ago. And I mean, Christmas won. 100%, like going away one. It wasn't even close. It was never even close. One could argue it was a fictitious made up war by the right. No. I can't believe they would make something up. I know. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay.
I've Had It
See You Never
Closing language, closing terms, body language, everything. And she would have none of it. No picking it up. And I mean, I would get so tickled. And listener, this is something that I want you to know is true friendship. Her enjoying my suffering. And I'm glad that she got that. That's true friendship when you can nudge at each other.
I've Had It
See You Never
And she saw me over there, you know, just she knew that I was dying on the inside and that at least somebody walked away with some sociopathic joy out of the situation. You know what? That makes me happy. Yeah.
I've Had It
See You Never
that even though I was suffering and I hated that manicure experience more than anything on the planet, I hate it so much, I don't even remember who the person was because I had to disassociate to get through it. But I am pleasantly surprised, tickled even, That you were able to net something good out of that dog shit experience at the nail salon.
I've Had It
See You Never
And listen, this has nothing to do with the nail salon ladies because I love those ladies. Right. No, this was the customer. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I I don't know how to handle this other than like maybe we could wrap ourselves in some sort of costume, you know, that is prickly like a cactus or a porcupine, you know.
I've Had It
See You Never
Yeah. Yeah. I wonder, okay, we'll have to bat that around a little bit. How do we normalize being pleasant but in a very direct way? Like when somebody comes up and you're at the nail salon and you haven't seen this person in eight years. And at some point there was some sort of affection, a shared affection at some point. Maybe your kids went to preschool together.
I've Had It
See You Never
You were in some club or some bullshit with them. but you haven't seen him, you haven't thought about him, you totally forgot they even existed. And they come up and they're like, oh my God, Angie, it's so great to see you. You said, you know what? I completely forgot that you even existed. What a pleasant surprise to see you. Let's go back to exactly where it was before we saw each other.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
So if I have to hear one more time, He's playing 4D chess.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I agree. They're totally bedfellows. And it's just sad to me that because of social media and the use of it, kids are getting less interaction, in-person interaction. And I'm not surprised that this is a result. Lonely, sadder, all of those things. Plus, they're comparing themselves all the time. It's a sad situation. It really is. It really is.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
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I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'll tell you that brings up another one of my I've had it. I've had it with people not taking accountability. If I fuck up or you fuck up. We will go to the other one and say, I am sorry. I was wrong. I need to do better. That's how it's supposed to be. But you have ass clowns from the top, Trump, his wife, Elon Musk. They all sit around and play victim.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I completely agree. One thing that we talk about all the time on this podcast is that we have these white men in positions of power, Trump and his wife slash controller, Elon Musk, sitting around crying that they're victims all the time, yet they juxtapose themselves as these alpha males. And I'm like, how can people watch this and think, oh, yeah.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Billionaires crying about poor me is perfectly acceptable. And I just wonder from your perspective in a position of power, how do you perceive the constant self-victimizing?
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And nobody ever says, you know, I made a mistake. I probably shouldn't have done that. But I'm in a reverse course now. And I'm going to do better. Because accountability is out the window. So now you have all these yahoos with the balls on their trucks running around. With impunity thinking nobody has to take accountability for anything. I cannot believe we're here in 2024.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
That really is. They like the cruelty. They're in it for the cruelty.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Everybody likes to do it. Now, here's a question. Do you think when we leave, Kylie and Seth trash talk us? Oh, my God. 1,000 million percent. A million percent.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You could win a trophy at our age. But now to be 55 and receive this trophy, this would be my Oscar. Hang on. Let me enter. She's 55.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
And my husband does this. I always do it because I genuinely have to go to the bathroom. I don't try to do it on purpose.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I try to time it so that I don't have to pee on the airplane. So I'm timing it like, okay, we board in eight minutes. Then I'm going to go to the five-minute mark. And then I'm going to go to the bathroom so that way I can avoid it. But I will say it pushed back a little bit. When they start like picking up the microphone, you're standing in line texting me. We're in line. We're in line.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I'm like, yeah, but we have assigned seats. So it doesn't matter where I really am in the line. But I have your shit.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
But the – Yeah, I think it's – I kind of have it as a strategic. I think as long as it's five minutes before. I don't want to like be walking on the plane and then go. But I like to delay it so that I can – in hopes of avoiding the airplane pee. Okay.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Kylie, our producer, she has a strategy to dehydrate before flying. And it's pointed out what a great strategy that is. So I've been really trying to use that and I've been doing better. And then the pilot who did a triple flusher on the plane and I went right after. So I've been trying to avoid toilets on airplanes like for the past year.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
I've been really good about water intake. But I do, it's a strategy. I just go right there at the end. Welcome to I've Had It.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
What I've had it with in this, honest to God, my head's going to explode the next time I hear it. I've had it With right wing media. After Trump crashes the economy, unemployment goes through the roof saying he's playing 4D chess. I'm like, motherfucker, what evidence do you have that he is capable of doing anything? I mean, let's just take a quick trip down memory lane.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Kylie, did he call you for tips? He did. I felt so validated when I watched that.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
His was selfless. Kylie's is kind of selfish and I've adopted it.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Well, who was that guy? There's a bunch of big Trumpers that are country music artists. I mean, I don't know why. It just seems that you hear that.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
Maybe. But here's the thing that I take away from all that. Just like you said, nobody's making you be on SNL. Nobody's making Elon Musk nosedive his stock and go in and harm people on purpose and then sit around and cry about it because people don't like him. You asked for this. This is a consequence of your behavior. Be accountable. The victimhood that I see in 2025, it's like Trump 2.0.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
makes the victimhood of Trump 1.0, which was unbelievable, blows it out of the water. I didn't think that grown billionaires could cry around about poor me as much as I've seen in the 75 days that Trump has been in office. It is unbelievable. Can you imagine if the woman was crying around about what a victim she was? She'd be hysterical. She'd be unhinged.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
inherited half a billion dollars 30 years ago, bankrupted six times, bankrupted casinos, which is damn near impossible to do. The only qualification he has is that he was on a reality show called The Apprentice, which was all smoke and mirrors. They couldn't even film it at his office because it was such a dump truck. We've seen the inside of his houses. It's dump truck city.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
These men are the biggest whining titty babies I have ever seen in my life.
I've Had It
Trump Dump with Sen. Chris Murphy
You know, here's the thing. I think we've created this whole generation, and I am guilty of this. You're so special. You're so great. Everything you do is so good. And so now they send a work text and the receipt is acknowledged with an okay. And what they wanted was a standing ovation. Oh, my gosh, little baby, you are so good. You're the best at this. It's just like that is not reality.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So you think about that long and hard. Do I want to be in that boat? You think about that long and hard on inauguration day. You think about the way you treated that person that was just doing the job and he's screaming and you don't have the decency to turn your ear pods down.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I've been with you when you've acted this entitled before. I don't like it. It's not attractive. It's not becoming. Oh my gosh. I just remembered something.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I, as a lot of our listeners know, you've been out of town and I kept your dog.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I just think that this is a, there's a, there's a problem in this country where, with white women. And I've been talking to you for a very long time about your flirtation with Karen and them. And I thought we made progress.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And here we are in 2025 and you're treating the guy that works at all places at the fucking airport with all of the terrible people that you described yourself as you walk back in that guy sitting there watching the war room with Steve Bannon. And you have your volume up all the way as high as you can and just parade back on the plane without asking if you can going against traffic.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
He's probably screaming. And I can understand that his heart rate was probably so high, like, ma'am, stop, ma'am, stop. And you're just ignoring, ignoring, ignoring because you didn't have the decency. This is a relapse of epic proportions after all of the progress we made as a community, as patriots, gayatriots, theatriots.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And so I just, on Inauguration Day, just think about the role white women played in that. And then I want you to think about the way you treated that man and how proud of yourself that you are. Right, how much I liked it. And you think if you're a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Okay, I will.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
First of all, Oliver Glizzard is homosexual. I'm so happy because his collar's rainbow. So how I know this is I took him to the cemetery with my dogs to run him about three different times a day because he's a puppy. He needs a lot of exercise. I know that at your house, it's full-blown dark in the middle of the day. Everybody lounges 10 hours at a time.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Thank you. What you did on that airplane is MAGA energy. See, it is, Angie. It is white privilege entitlement. It is. It is a larger issue. When you see all these videos of Karens losing their shit, they look like you, they sound like you, they're treating people like shit, and they like it. They like the cruelty of it. Yeah, there might be something to it. I mean, I'm just telling you.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
All right. Let's move on to some news stories that I found interesting. A study came out and it says that men reach full emotional maturity at 43 and And women do at 32.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
We're ready. We are ready to rock and roll into it. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I think 32 is probably about right. You do? Yeah. I mean, think about what idiots we were in our 20s. You think you're big. You think you're smart. You think you're so cool, but you're operating on narcissism, hubris, all the stuff. And then real life hits you in your 30s.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
In a kind of related story, in 1993, a man caused a massive flood of 14,000 acres just to stop his wife from coming home so he could keep partying. What? Yes. In 1993, James Scott reportedly tampered with the levees along the Mississippi River in Missouri and contributing to devastating flooding during what became known as the Great Flood of 1993.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
He later confessed to breaking the levees, not for profit or malice, but rather to delay his wife's return home so he could continue partying. The resulting flood was catastrophic, impacting thousands of homes and businesses. Scott was convicted of intentionally causing a disaster and received a life sentence, though he has maintained his innocence.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah. Okay. Here's one more story. Okay. Approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills. This represents 54% of U.S. adults aged 16 to 74 who read below a sixth grade level. The Gallup analysis of data from the U.S. Department of Education found that approximately 130 million American adults have low literacy skills.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So this dog had a lot of pent-up energy that needed to be run. So I run into my sister's second ex-husband at the cemetery. And he's running his dog, a lab named Woody. Woody's for sure homosexual. He's always trying to have sex with my dog, Tubby. Tubby is not that interested in the homosexual sex. I think he's more asexual. Yeah, I was going to say, I think he's asexual.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
This low literacy rate has significant consequences for individuals and society as a whole. Individuals with low literacy skills may face economic disadvantage, limited employment opportunities, and difficulty accessing health care information. I would like to add my own analysis to this.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And it could also cause damage to the country as a whole by electing a man who himself reads at a fifth grade level, I believe.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
You know what my favorite is? They get in the comment section, they want to call us losers, but they spell it losers. Right. L-O-O. Yeah, two O's. L-O-O-S-E-R-S. And that's my favorite. Like, you two hags are such loosers. Okay.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I would like to thank you for reminding me and our listener that you are, in fact, old. You just had it all teed up. Okay. Kylie, what do we have in store for our listener today?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Hi, guys. I'm a huge fan of the podcast, and I just need you guys to know that I look forward to every single notification I get on YouTube from your channel. But now to get into what I've had it with. You guys, I have fucking had it with Christmas proposals. Everyone does it. It is December 26th, as I am saying this, and I saw, like...
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Eight different Christmas proposals posted on Facebook yesterday. And it's always captioned the same thing. And it's always like, it's the best gift I could have asked for. Or like, Santa brought me exactly what I wanted this year. And I just, I can't take it, you guys. You're ruining Christmas. Propose on another day. You are fucking ruining it for everyone.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Because now we all feel like we have to celebrate you. And not each other on Christmas. And you know what? I'm talking this up to it being Donald Trump's fault. What is he going to do to stop this national crisis of Christmas proposals? I have had it. I love you guys. Thanks.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Ashley, I couldn't agree more. This is a problem born out of Trumpism, much like the Stanley Cup. And this is so breathtakingly unoriginal. You're co-opting onto a birthday party. Absolutely. For Jesus, you know, and then what happens to him?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Oliver Glizzard, your dog, was all in. All in. He loved it. So Woody, Giant Lab, would mount little French Bulldog Peppy, and there was a lot of gyrating and things going on, and Glizz just seemed to absolutely love it. Glizzy, you have a gay dog, and he is so proud. He is out. He is happy in his sexuality. It was fantastic.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It's no way that some, if you've thought of that. If I thought of that. I mean, of course, there's a gajillion on Instagram right now where people have made that real. So I just, I mean, we've talked about this ad nauseum. Like,
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
there is this over performing of getting engaged and getting married that to me demeans the sincerity of it it becomes more of a production than it does about a couple that has chosen to couple up and it's the the biggest the two biggest productions that i've been to in the last five years
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Where the engagement was produced, the wedding highly produced, highly Instagrammed, highly snappy, all of the things. Both, surprisingly, divorced.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Let me ask you this. Did you play the tape through when you thought about walking onto that airplane and getting your suitcase?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I completely agree with this. There's a lot, a lot of the population are babies and kids. It's not a unique novel thing. A lot of them all kind of look alike. As we've gone over before, there's a lot of unattractive children. There's a lot of unattractive babies in particular. I think we talked about a few episodes ago about some of these toddlers that look like hammered dog shit.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Nobody's doing anything about that. We don't need these things circulated. That is an inner family circulation thing. It doesn't go outside of that circle. If you must send photographs, I propose you send images of dogs and cats. Those do far better on Instagram. I follow some dog influencers. I enjoy watching animal videos. I don't follow one baby influencer. I don't follow one toddler.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I don't think that this sect of the population is that smart, that creative, or that inspiring. I really don't want to be intertwined with this segment of the population. I like babies and toddlers on a case-by-case basis, period.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah, it's all of these things are connected. The engagement, the over the top wedding, the over the top kid sharing and photos. It's just it's not a novel thing. Like people have been getting married for decades. centuries. People have been breeding for like forever, like since the beginning of all of it. You have to breed for all of us to be here.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And again, it's everybody just likes to celebrate these average things. Having a child, although it's very important to you personally, a lot of people do it. You know, I mean, you're not the only one. I think it's like 8 billion people in the world. Like, stop, shut up and quit sending the pictures of the ugly hammered dog shit kids.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Nobody wants to see them unless they're connected to these kids. Right. No randoms. Listener, it's 2025 and a new year means new opportunities. So whatever business idea you've had. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Okay, I've heard of this. You know, you've got some Canadians, you have some British people, you've got some Australians, and they're all flirting with Trumpism. And here's what I have to say. You come over here, give up your health care, give up your wages, give up all the consumer protections. And then get on over here with all the processed foods, $7.25 an hour. You get cancer, tough titties.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
You're on your own. And see how much you like it. Because what we have here is a lot of dumb fucks on the internet. And they are getting radicalized by this. I still will never, as long as I live, understand how people watch him speak. Yes. And think... Yes, that's the leader we need. Because when I hear him speak, I think he is so braggadocious, wildly insecure, total egomaniac, not very smart.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It's just this bluster. And he's just such a jack off. I mean, I just there's nothing redeeming at all about him. Yet millions of people hear him speak and they're like, yep, that's the one. That's him.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
He did. He did. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with. I have had it with, it's very similar to your grievance. So over the Christmas break, Josh and Dylan and Roman and I went to an Oklahoma City Thunder game. And we all love basketball, going to NBA games, so fun. So there's a guy sitting right behind us, and he shows up a few minutes late, so it's after tip-off.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I just think that he is the leader. for stupid people. And I don't feel bad anymore saying it. I don't. No, I don't. Because here's the problem. So many of these people, they love to, you know, you libtards, they have no problem saying all of these things about people that are more open minded and accepting of all people. But And then when they get criticized, it's victim city.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It's, oh, my God, they called us dumb. And I'm like, here's the thing. We already you've already fucked around. You're already starting to find out. He said he was going to deport everybody. American jobs only. Guess what? Elon wants to import Americans. tech bros from India to run Tesla. So they're already, you know, you're already finding out you're already it's broken heart city.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And so I just, it's, it's exasperating to deal with this level of stupidity. And I don't know what happened in the world where we don't value expertise anymore. Like Donald Trump is the expert at nothing. He's filed bankruptcy, but seven or eight times bankrupted casinos, you know, it's just, he's a shit show. He can't even put on his makeup properly.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And for those listeners out there that say stuff about us, like, you know, y'all are so funny. I just wish you'd quit talking about politics. I And we will not relent. We will not pre-surrender to fascism. We are not scared of Donald Trump and Elon Musk. So if you don't like it, the podcast market is literally saturated. It is overflowing with dog shit podcasts just like ours.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Just don't listen to us. Go listen to Steve Bannon's War Room and just have a blast doing that. We don't want you here. I don't want you to listen to us.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Okay. He's spot on. Spot on. So I have these little, two little nephews and a little niece, all under age two and under. And they have no idea what's going on. We've got like a four-month-old, we've got an eight-month-old, and we have a two-year-old, okay? They're darling. I love these babies. These babies love me.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And he begins to tell his friends sitting next to him the story about almost getting scammed. And it's similar to the story that you had where the Oklahoma County Sheriff's Office calls. So he's telling his friends about his close call with getting scammed. The problem is he's screaming at the top of his lungs. And the story goes on. And on and on in precise detail. And then I said this.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Contrary to the cold, black-hearted person that I play on this podcast that constantly bashes babies, children, and specifically hammered dog shit toddlers, these three individuals I adore. they're attractive, they're smart, they have a lot going for them. Here's where I agree with the caller.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
At Christmas, I hosted it at my house, and the two-year-old is the only one that could potentially open the gifts. He was not interested. And then the parents then are trying to feign, oh, I think he does like it. Right. I got him a really cute jumpsuit. I didn't get him a toy. I know he's not going to like it, but I know that he's going to look great in it. Right.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And so I'm thinking, for me, it was a projection gift. I was projecting how good-looking Owen is going to look. in this little sweatsuit and it's really cute. And the same with the little girl, Georgia, I got her darling little dress. Georgia has no idea what's going on, but we all went through this performative bullshit instead of just saying here, here's the gifts. Y'all can unwrap them later.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
You know what? I think I, I think we even need to take this a step further. We need to quit wrapping gifts for babies. I think you're completely right. Why are we wrapping gifts for a three-month-old, a four-month-old, a one-month-old, a one-year-old? Why are we doing it? Why are we being so wasteful?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And why are we expecting that that child has the ability or the curiosity or the wherewithal to be able to open this gift?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
There is nothing worse, nothing worse on the planet than a circle jerk where people sit in a circle and And unwrap gifts and then raise the gift up and everybody's supposed to ooh and ah over the gift, which is something mundane, boring, and very pedestrian that we've all seen all of our entire lives. It is obscene, the performative nature of this. And this has been going on long before Instagram.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Right. long before social media. I will never have any part of it. I'm going to declare right here, right now, this year, 2025 in Trump's America. I will not, under any circumstances whatsoever, be a part of any sort of performative gift opening ever. If I'm in an event, let me just going to tell you right here, right now, if you have some sort of fucking circle jerk pumps and
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And Emily gets engaged and it's some sort of open presence. I'm going to look at you and say, how dare you? How dare you do this to me, to her and all of these people? I'm taking my gift. I'm returning it and I'm leaving. And I'm going to be the little twat just like you were on that airplane. I
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
You mean to tell me after everything you've been through with this guy? Yeah. This month long sordid relationship you've had with Jackson, you didn't remember his name at the Christmas card? Well, it was so out of place. Why would Jackson leave?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
the christmas lights guy send me a christmas card i know exactly why he would and not sign his last name not that i know his last name y'all are on a first name basis i mean we have personal meetings think about everything you've gone through this holiday season yeah it's been we've talked about it five or six times on the podcast alone everything you've gone through with this christmas light guy i think i'm team jackson let me ask you this when you got home from your trip
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
on new year's day were your lights up or down my lights were up and i thought it's time to give jackson a little text today i'm gonna so you didn't text him and tell him you wanted him down on the 26th with all that big talk you chickened out no i didn't i didn't text him i wanted him down at 6 p.m on the 25th nor the 26th i thought i'll ride it through my trip but i mean he is going to get a text
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Well, why not? I mean, if you think about this, think about all of the relationships you had in the month of December of 2024. Aside from me and your children, who have you had the most interaction with?
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And then he said this. And then I was like, oh, my God. And I was like, oh, shit, I'm going to get arrested. And he's screaming fever pitch at the top of his lungs. Josh, Dylan, Roman, and myself were all just like... Jesus Christ, buddy, shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Maybe talk to your friends about this before the game, maybe after the game, maybe lower your voice a few octaves.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
The whole thing. There was tension. There were problems. There were solutions. A little bit of stalking, I felt like. Yeah. I mean, there was just a lot going on with you and Jackson. I think it was wildly appropriate for him to send you a Christmas card. I think it's on theme to the business he did.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And I think you're being a little twat for minimizing his generosity and his sense of the holiday cheer. Uh-huh.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
and poo-pooing him sending you a card and i am just mortified that you couldn't remember who he was after everything that you two went through together and everything that we've drug our listener through right and we end the whole thing with you and jackson with you going who the is jackson jesus christ that's why i'm not a good girlfriend obviously ah all right listen up
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
That's all we have for today. And we don't have any shows coming up. We don't really have anything going on other than our Patreon, our YouTube channel. We have a book coming out, Pumps Tell Them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I don't know if you want everybody in the Paycom arena to hear this story, but But the majority of us came here to watch the basketball game and we can't watch it with any form of pleasure because you're so obnoxious, so loud and so proud that you have a juicy story to tell your friends. And it was just miserable.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And then after that, he continued at the same octave and it got so bad that Josh finally goes, how big is that guy? Turn around and look at him. He goes, you think if I just clocked him, you think he could beat me up? And I'm like, we're not going to, you know, clock the guy. Of course, Josh, you know, it's all talk, no action. But it was... It was that bad. It was... Awful. I hate this guy.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area to know. I think this is section 106. I was in row A. He would have been in row B. You loud mouth, yak mouth. The basketball games are not about you. We're there to watch these elite athletes dribble the ball, shoot the ball, pass the ball, do all the cool swaggy stuff that NBA basketball players do. I didn't want to hear about your lame ass.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
almost getting scammed. It was so awful. I really dislike this guy. I think he should be banned from the arena and from all NBA games moving forward. Henceforth. I do. I think it should be a permanent ban. Here's the thing about that. A
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
So here's what I noticed. If his voice, quiet inside voice being a one and screaming at the top of his lungs, a nuclear war is about to happen. Everybody take cover as a 10. This guy was a 14. Okay. So as he's screaming at the top of his lungs about, you know, barely dodging this scam, that scam caller, I noticed he's at a 14 and I noticed his friends responded around a two or three.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And then he would go on and elaborate. And I kept just turning around and kind of looking at him like, dude.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
shut the fuck up maybe go to the bar in the arena and then tell your friends all of this there why are you ruining this for everybody why are you making this all about you so the friends engaged with him but i could tell that they didn't match the intensity of his loudness i think what we have in this situation is a grandstander okay and a showboater probably nothing cool has happened to him in at least a decade
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And him almost getting scammed by these scammers that almost scammed you and him cracking the case was just fantastic for him. And he wanted everybody in the Oklahoma City area to be abundantly aware that he almost got scammed and then he almost and then he cracked the case and then he diverted getting scammed and he wanted everybody to know. And I want everybody in the Oklahoma City area.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
and at large internationally to know that I feel dumber, angrier and have less serenity for having sat in front of this motherfucker for that NBA game. It was awful. I hate him. I hate his voice. It is, I imagine if I believed in an afterlife, if you end up in hell, that man would be the greeter at the gates of hell. He would greet you. He would be next to you. Screaming. For eternity.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And he wouldn't even need a bullhorn because he's that loud. Welcome to hell, motherfuckers. I can just see him. Scams this way.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Let me tell you the one thing that I was able to get gratitude during this horrible time. At least 20 minutes of him telling the story while I'm trying to watch this basketball game. The only thing that brought me solace is saying to myself, thank fucking God, Pumps is not here. Because she would whiplash around at the top of her lungs and say anything. Oh my God, the same thing happened to me.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Because you have one volume and that is loud. Extra loud. And I just thought the best thing that's happened to me today is that Pumps is not at this basketball game with me. Although I love her, although she's my soulmate, I would give her a kidney. I'm so fucking glad that that yak mouth is not with this yak mouth because the entire basketball game would be about these scams.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
They would be best friends and I would hate it. hate both of them so much. I don't know that I could recover.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah. That was the one little glass of lemonade I was able to squeeze out of this horrific situation. And I have to say, you know... Arenas are loud and you anticipate that. What you don't anticipate is somebody who's off script. Right. Him getting scammed has nothing to do with the Oklahoma City Thunder and their amazing season that they're having. It has nothing to do with that.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
If I wanted to listen to that bullshit, I'd come here and record this podcast with you. Right. You would not hold an arena hostage. Right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She's fresh back from Europe.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I completely agree. I, you know, as everybody knows, I'm trying to talk to people less. And so when these type of things happen, then I think maybe I need to go full-blown agoraphobic and just not leave the house.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
I have to say there's a cringy level of entitlement that when you're telling me that story that I kind of cringed for you. Why? Because you... You can't – when you have to enter back onto a plane, it's just known that you would stop and say, hey, I left my bag. Can I get back on here? You can't just plow back onto an airplane.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And then to not have your volume turned down so you can communicate with them seems disrespectful to the people that work on the plane. And I – I am kind of that I've left something on a plane before and I, you know, say, hey, I left something on the plane. Can I get it? And they're like, wait, please wait right here. There's like a procedure for it. Yeah, I didn't know that.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
And you just entitled walking right back on and not having your volume turned down so that you could communicate with them about what you're doing. I kind of give you a little demerit for that. You think I'm the minus? Reeks of entitlement and lack of self-awareness, in my opinion.
I've Had It
Leader of Stupid People
Yeah. I feel bad for these people that work in these situations that have to deal with people that lack self-awareness and have just breathtaking amounts of entitlement. Yeah. And I had all of them and I loved it though. I did. I loved it. This is not good for white women. I'll tell you what, what we have right here is white women determined in a large part the state of this election.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Recently, I took my oldest son and his girlfriend to New York City. They wanted to stay in Soho. Through Booking.com, I was able to find the perfect hotel for us.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Listener, no matter who you are, Booking.com helps you find the stay that's ridiculously right for you. Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com, Booking.yeah. People are talking a lot about spring cleaning, but here's what we should really be talking about, listener. Bombas spring socks. Yep, you heard me right.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's a busy time of the year and the right socks can make or break your spring. And you're probably thinking, Jennifer, you're being ridiculous, and I'm going to tell you this much. I am so happy, and my feet are so happy, and my piggies are so happy in these Bombas socks. I wear them every single day, and ever since I started wearing Bombas, it is the only sock that I wear.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Whether I'm running, playing tennis, or just lounging around the house, it's all about Bombas for me. i like it because they have blister fighting socks and sweat wicking athletic socks so my feet just i mean it's a game change listener bombas started making socks when they learned that they're the number one most requested clothing item in homeless shelters so thank you for shopping with bombas
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
You've helped donate over 150 million essential items. Now that's a lot of socks and a lot of kindness. Head over to bombas.com slash had it and use code had it for 20% off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com slash had it. Code had it at checkout. Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Could it be because it has a sleek, spam-free site?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Or the most in-depth school info? Homes.com knows every parent wants the best for their kids, so they're the only ones with school and district information. details, and reviews from multiple sources, including niche. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory, or maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
with the listing agent who knows the home best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in-depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com has 22 data visualization layers, seven environmental layers, and allows you to search by commute and architectural factors.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's the home search you've been searching for. Go to homes.com today for home shopping the way it should be. Homes.com. We've done your homework. All right, Kylie, I think I have news. Let's hear the news. All right, we have news. Put this up. Right-wing pastor claims airport body scanners can, quote, turn you gay.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Fellas, is it gay to submit yourself to the cold, unfeeling machinery of the surveillance state? According to right-wing evangelical preacher Andrew Isker, yes. But do you know what's not gay? Being physically searched by a male TSA agent. Honestly, we're confused, too.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And here's what I have to say is it always seems like MAGA, they are the people in the evangelical right wing branch of that political party. They are so consumed with gay politics. Trans. I remember we had a senator in Oklahoma, Tom Colburn. Do you remember him? Yeah. I think he died. But he said when he was running for Senate, he said that southeastern Oklahoma had a huge problem with lesbians.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I completely agree with you. I mean, I just it seems like particularly right now with the MAGA movement, they are so accountability averse. And then you have all of these enablers. Yeah. Then enable them.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
there is a real fine line between cowgirls and lesbians and I also think there's a real fine line between cowboys and gay men yeah like think about cowboys they wear the I think it was Jared Freed who pointed this out these skin-tight wranglers and these belts that cinch the waist and they get out there and twirl around on the dance floor and there is kind of a fine line so I think that
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Part of the fundamental problem here is that a lot of people that are in that movement are probably turned on or have been turned on at times in their life by somebody of the same gender and they freak out about it. And then now we're talking about, you know, these airport scanners.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
What a nut. Okay. The next one is... Beavers form lifelong relationships and remain loyal to their partners forever. Beavers are known for forming lifelong partnerships, staying fiercely loyal to their mate. These monogamous animals build and maintain their lodges together, raise their young as a team, and rarely separate.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Their enduring bonds and cooperative nature make them a beautiful symbol of love, commitment, and lasting companionship in the wild. I just think that's you and me. I do too.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But you can slay your beaver. I'm a beaver slayer. Okay. The next story. Strippers are sometimes hired to perform at funerals in China. In some rural areas of China, strippers have been hired to perform at funerals as a way to attract large crowds and honor the deceased. While this may sound surprising or even inappropriate to outsiders, the tradition stems from a cultural belief
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And what seems to go hand in hand is the lack of accountability coupled with being persecution complex, where these people sit around and act like, oh, my gosh, I don't have to say sorry because they're picking on me. Like, you know, Elon Musk is apparently going to drop out of politics because the left wing is too mean to him. And I'm just like, maybe apologize for doing Nazi salutes. Right.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
that a well-attended funeral reflects high social status and respect for the person who passed away. However, the Chinese government has condemned the practice and launched crackdowns over the years, labeling it uncivilized and inappropriate. Authorities have even set up hotlines for people to report such events.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Still, despite government disapproval, the practice continues to pop up in more remote or traditional villages. I've got to say. I would love nothing more than to go to a funeral and have a sex worker do a little side performance.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But you notice that like the the Republicans, they want to talk about like everybody's sex life, but they rarely bring up porn. Do you ever hear them bringing up like, you know, like, oh, we've got to do something about porn. I mean, and this is just my personal take, and I'll have to research this. But you see the young white boys having a lot of problems right now with loneliness.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
All of that is at the same time that porn became so accessible on the internet. And they also happen to be incredibly misogynist. And I just think the young boys are sitting around watching a bunch of porn. But Republican and Democratic politicians don't want to do anything about it because they too like their porn.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
All right. Kylie, what do we have in store for our listeners today on America's Top DEI Podcast?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
So I kind of, um, I, I agree. I went all the way down with it until the golden retriever. And I just picture golden retrievers, um, As not being MAGA for some reason. I picture MAGA dogs – I don't know. I picture – I don't even know if I picture dogs being MAGA as much as I picture the dogs that have MAGA owners as being hostages. Right. And maybe like a –
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. I don't know about the golden. I feel like, I don't know. I just, I feel like golden retrievers make intense eye contact and I feel like, I don't know. I don't know that I, I get her logic, what she was going down, but I disagree and maybe I'm wrong, but yeah. Well, we're going to have to put it on the watch list.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Maybe start there. Maybe apologize for acting like you knew how to save money when you really didn't know anything about it. And you just caused a lot of havoc and people are fired from their jobs. And then now, you know, American democracy is crumbling. Maybe start with apologizing there. But it doesn't. They go hand in hand.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think that's a really good point. I think that there's this corporate culture that we've talked about where it's let's workshop this. Let's scramble the jets. Let's put it in the parking lot. All of that just corporate bullshit speak and unnecessary meetings, unnecessary emails, unnecessary titles. It's just their corporate culture is kind of weird.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah. No, I agree. I think I think it's corporate culture is really weird. It's really, really, really weird. And I'm so glad that I'm not in it. Yeah. Because it's just I mean, it would just be a lot. Can you imagine being an HR director? No, but I would like to have access to HR files.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah, just to pull an all-nighter with some highlighters, paperclips, post-it notes.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
The people who can't apologize often sit around in the fetal position and whine because they're titty babies.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's included and they're just about as cute as they could be. I couldn't see the ducks. Did you see them? Yeah, I saw the ducks and I've seen the ducks out in the wild. And they are 100% right. I don't know what this... What spawned this? I don't know why it's happening in every state. I don't understand. You know what it is? It's riffraff knickknacks. It's what it is in the car. Yeah.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And here's the thing. Like, you know, I'm an interior designer. I understand designing things, accessorizing things. I understand it. The dashboard of the car is not something that needs to be accessorized. We don't need a bunch of tchotchke ducks riffraff and knickknack. And then they had a point that when you're turning a corner or hitting the brakes, what's going on with the ducks?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Are they secured? Are they Velcroed down? Are they belted in? Does anybody care about their safety? You know, these ducks are just flying all over the place. It's stupid. And I think he's right that these are the same people that get Jeep tattoos. Yeah.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I was like, who has a hundred percent? You have to tattle on that. I mean, that's just, you don't get to put your pug on the trunk and drive down the street.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's animal abuse. The police need to pull that person over and they need to be arrested. That is unacceptable. You do not do that to your dog. It's not cute. It's not fun. It's not funny. And that shit pisses me off because those people shouldn't own pets.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
They should not own pets. I mean, that's just that is so fucked up to do that for your own entertainment.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
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Donald's Demon Queens
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I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I don't think that they have that sort of emotional intelligence to be that introspective. But what amazes me is that their followers don't get sick of hearing. Yes. That's the component where if you hear somebody whining and complaining. And poor me. And then you realize, OK, this dude's the common denominator in all this drama. So maybe he needs to shut the fuck up and quit breaking laws.
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Donald's Demon Queens
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I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Okay, he's 100% right. And I just want to say that this needs to be said. Democrats, and not even just Democrats, people that are anti-MAGA and pro-democracy, we all need to start saying all the time on social media, in conversations, on podcasts, wherever, the reason you can't have nice things is not because of people using their pronouns or rainbow flags or trans people.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
The reason that you can't have nice things in this country is because the people who are upset about the pronouns and feed that to you, like red meat, don't pay their taxes. And I'm talking about the rich white guys. They don't pay their taxes and they want a system that is rigged for them. And because that can sometimes be difficult to absorb all of that, They throw out rainbow flags.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
They throw out pronouns. They throw out immigrants. And at the end of the day, if you live in a free country, why do you give a shit what flag somebody flies? If you live in a free country and somebody is a they, them, he, her, why do you care? Why do you care? You either live in a free country or you don't live in a free country.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And you're either going to be the thought police and tell people they can't go by what pronouns you think they should go by. And you still get to think it's stupid. You don't have to like it, but you don't get to be a dick about it. But none of that is the reason that you can't have nice things. The reason, middle America, that you can't have nice things is because Jeff Bezos doesn't pay taxes.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Elon Musk doesn't pay taxes. The systems are rigged to where it's easier for their companies to avoid regulations and all sorts of investigations. And we could go on and on, but it gets rather boring. But that's why. And until the Democrats start fighting flipping the script and saying, why are you so triggered by a rainbow flag? Right. Why does a drag queen upset you so much?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Just don't go to a drag show. But instead, they cede ground. Democrats are constantly ceding ground and saying, oh, the progressive wing of the party has to quit talking about pronouns and rainbow flags. I'm like, do we really? It's a free country. Why do you give a shit?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's the personality cult that doesn't grow tired of it that shocks me the most.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's a tactic to get everybody their eye off the ball of what's really happening. It's gaslighting and it's a tactic. And I mean, it's just more Democrats or reformed Republicans need to start calling out what it is. Trans people, rainbow flags, pronouns, none of that is preventing you from having health care. None of it is.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
capitalism and valuing profits in the health care industry and valuing the rights of insurance companies over human beings and citizens. That's why you can't have health care. Yeah, that's your problem.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
So I'm driving back from the dispensary and I have fucking had it, had it. These people, right, have two flagpoles outside their house. Can you guess what flags are on those fucking poles? I'm pretty sure you guessed, right? Yeah, it's fucking Trump. But not just one. No, there's four Trump flags and one American flag.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
what a fucking dick sucker are you kidding me like what the fuck is wrong with people that's insane to me that's like mentally not okay i don't i don't get it i fucking i've had it i live in the midwest so it's not shocking but like holy fuck i've never seen that much trump in a fucking yard before fuck you know
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
They didn't. And here's what happened. Here's my memory of the timeline of this. So 9-11 happens. And journalists go over to the Middle East and they're filming Al Qaeda. Right. And Al Qaeda had these trucks in the desert with Al Qaeda flags in the back of them. And they wore like masks and they just kind of like four wheeled around the desert with their guns doing jihadi shit. Right.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And I remember seeing it like, wow. So they don't have a country anymore. And so they put their flag on their truck. That's what my mind deduced. Right. So then it went on and then went into ISIS. Then ISIS had the trucks with the flags. All right. So that was my that's all I knew about that.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Then Trump comes around, and then we've got the American Taliban that starts up with the trucks with the Trump flags. And these are the same people that are like, those Islamist countries hate us for our freedom. They don't like us because we're free. We love freedom and the Constitution. And come to find out, They don't like either. No, they just like Trump. Right.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Well, what's happened is there's a lot of social justice movements that have really started to institute accountability for a group of people who have never truly been held accountable, wherein the laws and rules and norms were always made for them to to be somewhat blurry. And I'm speaking about privileged white men.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And so they drive around just like these jihadist terrorists did in the desert. And they do it around America as though somebody rainbow flags and I don't know, pronouns and drag queens are somehow affecting their personal life.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But I think that the common thread, the link there is that obviously Al Qaeda, obviously ISIS are religious extremists. It's a cult. And then it would... You could go down the thought track that people here would have the same kind of instincts about being in a cult. Get your truck, get your flag, cram it down everybody's throat.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Now, the thing about the rainbow flag is people put that up in businesses or gay pride events, but you don't see like trucks. with gay pride flags driving around to the extent that you do MAGA stuff. It's insane. If you get out to rural Oklahoma where I had to go to some of Roman's basketball games, oh my God, I was just like, holy shit, this is how he won.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
He really reigns in these small towns and they really feel like trans people and drag queens are going to come invade them and they're that triggered by it because I guess they're not that tough after all. Right. Do you know what I mean? That's what's threatening them. Think about these men that drive these big trucks and put these big flags on them and wear their big belt buckles.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But he is their idealized form of masculinity. Which I don't get. Yeah. I get it because he has been able to, uh, he has that money where he tells people the rules don't apply to me. I can do whatever the fuck I want when I want. He does everything with impunity and that is their dream to be able to do that.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
So to me it psychologically makes sense because it's like these people are broken and morally flawed from the jump. So if you're a morally flawed person, and you're in a society where there are guardrails and accountability, you would have a problem with that. And then here comes your hero, bailed out bankruptcies, you know, three baby mamas, you know, fucking porn stars, you know.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
He gets away with everything. Lies with impunity, all this stuff. They're like, yes, yes, this is it. This is masculinity.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And so for the first time, you know, they can't slap their secretary on the ass and tell her she looks hot today. And they can't say the R word and they can't, you know, call men F-A-G-S's. And, you know, they were being held accountable for racist hiring practices, etc. And so, you know, Yeah, they're not used to that. So the victimhood, they genuinely feel it is real.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think that one person has probably been turned on watching porn by a hard cock at some point. And there's just some insecurity there instead of like, doesn't mean you're gay or straight or whatever, but that situation in and of itself turned it on. But the conservative movement is so rigid. And so centered on a very black and white worldview and nothing can be seen outside of that.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And living here in this state as an atheist, I mean, my whole childhood and early adult life, it's this pressure. that you have to be a Christian. You just absolutely positively have to be a Christian. And of course, I'm not one based on the behavior of the people who were soliciting me nonstop and the people who still continue to do so.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
To cancel the fuck out of them and saying, yeah, yeah, we are cancel culture. Fuck you. Because I think you can see the Mar-a-Lago fashion. You see it's void of gay leadership. Absolutely. You see in what's going on, all the Mar-a-Lago face and all the stuff that's going on. I'm like, you can totally tell that this whole place is void of gay leadership in a creative space.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think that it's what I just said previously, that at some point he has been aroused by something bisexual or something just straight out gay. There's an insecurity in there because if somebody – I play pickleball all the time with a bunch of lesbians. It doesn't make me think, oh, my God, I'm not going to be straight anymore. I'm not going to want to fuck Josh anymore.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
You know, I don't have that insecurity about it. I don't even think about it. Never. Never. All I think about is I do think genetically lesbians could be better athletes because they always kick my ass. That's a personal theory. I'm not a scientist. I'm not a geneticist. But I think I've got some, you know, anecdotal evidence here that lesbians are better athletes than me and my straight friends.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think, uh, at the epicenter of a lot of the MAGA movement is, uh, especially with the men is a ton of, uh, uh, probably a lot of porn watching and they get sometimes turned on more by the male than they do the female. And then after they get the rocks off, it's like, oh shit, that was pretty gay.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And then they go into denial and then they see somebody, you know, that has a rainbow flag or they hear about, you know, gay men having shame-free experiences. you know, completely consensual, transactional sex. And they're so insanely jealous because the Moses Mikes, the Josh Hollies, the J.D. Vances, you know, it's just this closet case. And here's something else I want to say.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I think there's a special place in hell. And I'm an atheist. I don't even believe in hell. But metaphorically, for the Scott Bessence, who is the secretary of the Treasury, who is an out of the closet gay man, And then Peter Till, out of the closet gay man. Both of these men are married.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And that they are like the biggest demon queens on the planet to support Trump and Trumpism, who on his truth social did the pink triangle thing. And with a line through it, which is what Adolf Hitler put on gay people when he sent them to concentration camps and they don't speak up. And that just lack of conviction I've decided moving forward in my adult life in the MAGA era.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Lack of conviction in people is the least admirable attribute that I see in people. And it's very off-putting to me when people – say one thing over here and then they say another thing over there and they feel nothing about that disconnect. It doesn't morally trigger them. And that's what I think a lot of MAGA people do.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
MAGA women in my life, which I don't have in my life anymore, but they'll, you know, go to a gay hairdresser and then while they're sitting there somehow try to lecture the hairdresser about transgender rights. But then they go back to their MAGA households and are like, well, I'm not homophobic. You know, this gay guy cuts my hair. Yeah, and that's rampant everywhere.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
All right, guys, that's all we have for today. Thank you for tuning in. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Okay, let me tell you what I've had it with. And it's a situation that happened. You're going to die. OK, so listener, the NBA playoffs are right now and we live in Oklahoma City and the Oklahoma City Thunder is like it's a big deal in a city the size of ours. And they're really good. Yeah. Like they're a really, really, really good basketball team. They're young. They're fun to watch, et cetera.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
So my husband and I go to one of the playoff games and. In Oklahoma City, being a fan is very important. We really love this team. And they put t-shirts on every chair for everybody to wear so that everybody in the arena has this thunder pride. And while you're sitting there waiting for the game to start, the in-house, in-arena cameras go around.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
and they zoom in on people that don't have their t-shirts on, and it says, put your t-shirts on, and there's like a DJ saying, hey, put your t-shirts on, and they're like, oh, okay, and they put their t-shirts on. So they bully everybody, like publicly shame them. As they should. Into putting their t-shirts on, right? I know about this, been going to Thunder Games for a very long time.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I arrive, I put my t-shirt on, just handle it immediately. And so there's this woman sitting in front of me, And she has on a gray T-shirt that says Thunder on it. And she's with her daughter that's probably 12. And they're doing this bullying all over, forcing people to put on their Thunder shirts. And most people are great sports about it. Immediately put it on. Everybody cheers.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It's just kind of like this pre-game fun. So this bitch turns around and she's staring at me and she's the seat directly in front of me. And she just keeps staring at me and the cameras are going around and she's on her phone and she's like tapping and she has this long kind of pointy nails. She's like tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And then she's picking up the phone, but she refuses to face outward towards the court. And meanwhile, the arena is filling up. It's not on TV yet. The players aren't even out. And then finally, she looks at me and she goes, I'm not putting the shirt on. I am just not putting the shirt on. I mean, they can put the camera on me all they want to, but I'm not going to put the shirt on.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I mean, if we start losing or something, sure, by then I'll put it on. And I literally like look over my shoulder like, bitch, I don't know who you think you're talking to. And I don't know if you think that I'm going to collude in you being a gold star cunt right now. But you're barking up the wrong fucking tree. Sit down, put your fucking shirt on or leave.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And then, you know, her daughter's sitting there. I can tell that her daughter's kind of embarrassed. And I'm just kind of just sitting at her like, I mean, I'm not feeding it. I will not enable it because she thinks she's the exception. Right. You know, and everybody that goes to these games and we've been to my family and I, we love NBA games and we've been to games at L.A.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
We've been to games in Cleveland, Houston, California. Other cities, like in LA, they're too cool to all put the shirts on. But not us. We value that team. We know what a big deal it is to have an NBA team. But this little bitch thought that she could just wear a gray shirt and be the skunk at the garden party. And it just really pissed me off.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And I just kept looking at my husband going, I hate her. And then, of course, Josh goes, you 100% know she's maggot. And I go... 100%. I mean, I wanted it when she was doing the stare down with me, like I was going to collude with her and say, oh, it's okay, darling. Don't put the shirt on. Don't worry about it. I should have said, why don't you just wear your MAGA hat?
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. booking.yeah. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. Oh my gosh. It's America's top DEI podcast. The HBIC head beaver in charge. Patriots, gay triots, they triots. Black triots.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
She had on these super tight blue jeans. And she was just, I mean, her panties were in a wad. And she somehow thought that I was going to be like, you know, Oh, it's okay. Don't worry about it. And I just wasn't going to. I'm like, don't come to the game then.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Sit at home and wear your T-shirt there because everybody in this arena is going to wear their Thunder T-shirt provided by the arena as a part of our ticket to show that little team in this little city of ours that we love and support them. That's what I'm doing. I'm not going to be the asshole in the Paycom arena trying to – and then I'm like out of all the seats –
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah, it's just, you know, I get to a place where I realize, and I don't know if the podcast has exacerbated this because we talk about our grievances so much and my tolerance level is decreasing, but I'm getting to the place where I realize I just don't like people, but I like the overall idea of humanity.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I read this article the other day and I thought, OK, this is good for me. And it was like the more emotionally intelligent you are. the smaller your group is. And so I thought, oh my God, maybe I'm actually finally becoming emotionally intelligent because I have a very close group of tight-knit, non-MAGA, pre-approved friends.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
And if they're outside of that, I just, I don't wish to spend time with people that are MAGA. No. I just don't want to do it. I'm not going to enable them and make them feel like we just have political difference when in my mind it's a moral difference.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
Yeah, that's fantastic. And I can also add to this, refuse to wear the required playoff t-shirt when tens of thousands of people in the arena are doing so. And you think... You're the most special twat in all of Oklahoma City that you don't have to wear it. And I hope to God she listens to this podcast.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
I mean, you know, I mean, if they agree with us politically and they think, I mean, I guess that's fair. Right. I mean, I mean, to each their own. I would probably agree. We're not intellectual heavyweights. I think there's maybe a little shallow.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
You know, I wish I could take credit for that term, but it was somebody who was, we used to say, listen up patriots. And then a gay listener said, why don't you also use the word gaytriot? And I can't remember who it was. I think it was somebody that was in our Patreon, but I wish we could take credit for that.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
But it's so important that we include the gaytriots because my God, I had a conversation with a pickleball friend of mine, and she and her wife and a bunch of their other lesbian friends are really suffering right now. It's really, really difficult to be gay in America right now in the fear that this current administration and many, many members of the American population are
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
are able to just look at them and gaslight them and minimize their feelings. And it's just, that's just never a political party I want to be a part of. I always want to stand with the Gaitriots. I mean, and I will with conviction until the day I die. I just, that's just something that is, I will not compromise on at all.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
It really is. You know, Kylie's girlfriend, Anna, was into it the other day on her Instagram stories, you know, just and you just see it. You see this extra layer that people that are black, people that are immigrants, people that are gay, there's there's a personal connection. pointed attack towards them from this administration and their personality cult. And it's really terrifying.
I've Had It
Donald's Demon Queens
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking. Yeah. Every time I use Booking.com, I find a place to stay in the US. I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals. And I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Luckily for me, that's just right of top of mind because what I've had it with is Jennifer Denise Welch and Kylie Ann Josie. I am so mad. Okay. So we did some podcasting this morning before this.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Bombas socks, whether they are the long socks or the footy socks, let me just tell you about these footy socks. They don't fall into your shoe like so many others. These stay exactly where you put them. I cannot recommend them highly enough.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
after Jennifer and I go to lunch and we sit across the table from each other, after Kylie stares into my eyes for three fucking hours, I go into the bathroom and again, my eyeliner is down around my nostrils and I think, What the fuck is wrong with these people? You know I can't see myself sitting in here. Why don't you tell me?
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
representative yeah representative that's me the voice just escalates it escalates it escalates until you're just screaming at nothing screaming at a robot yeah no i just had that experience with the hotel i was like pushing the buttons representative and they kept saying it was like an automated well you have to get on the website for this okay well i get on the website no you have to call and just i'm like i want a fucking person i want a live person that's all i want
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
And Kylie, I told you I started using that new makeup and it made me feel shiny and I felt like stuff was dripping. I told you that yesterday. Did I get... Hey, Ange, take the eyeliner up under your eye. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We sat across from each other at lunch. Just the two of us staring into each other's eyes. Did you say anything like, hey, pumpkin, pumpkin, wipe under your eyes.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
It really is. Well, it's patently illegal, but I don't think that they care. And each court continues to enjoin the behavior Will it continue? We'll soon find out. And so far, the Supreme Court has just kicked it down the road. They haven't made a determination, so they've left the injunctions in place. But, you know, we're pinning our hats on.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
We know the three great justices are for human rights and are ethical, but we have three that we know are not. I know. And so, I mean, we're pulling for the handmaid and Chief Justice Roberts. Like, that's where our hope lies. It's like we were having lunch with somebody, and she said, you know, we might get one or two, like, Republicans. Like, I'm kind of hopeful for Mitch McConnell.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
And we were like, now we're in trouble when our hope is on that. So when our hope's on the handmaid and Chief Justice Roberts, like, I'm concerned about it. But I also have a little bit of hope, and I keep telling Jennifer – They know they've created a monster. Are they going to try to pull back on the monster? Let's hope.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
No, not a fucking word. So I have been running around like somebody beat me up until just now. So I've had it with Kylie and Jennifer.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Not nitpick. It was down like way down. It was way down. I tell you, your hair's sticking up. Do a blotter. I'm always looking out for everyone. What do I get? Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. That's what I've had it with. Seth, the male lesbian is the only one that's safe right now.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Of course, I've blocked that out. Okay. So it wasn't bad enough that last week we had to get the doctor and the doctor said twice she was athletic. It just was cringeworthy. So today we're sitting across from each other at lunch where she is looking at me with eyeliner down to my nose. this server comes over that wasn't our server. So it wasn't like for a tip thing.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
I just noticed the clothes behind you when she said that. I have no powers of observation.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
This was a spontaneous compliment. She goes, you are just so beautiful. I just saw you. And I just want you to know, I mean, I don't know how old you are, but when I get to be your age, I want to look just like you. You're just so pretty. And I honestly, I threw up in my mouth a little bit and I was, I just looked at her and I go, are you kidding me right now? We had to do this.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
I love everything that Quince does. First of all, the washable silk tank tops, they're my favorite because they are wash and wear and they look great every time. I also love the jewelry they have, 14 karat gold jewelry that is divine.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
And then no, no, no, no, no. It gets better. So then Jennifer tells her, About the doctor saying that she had an athlete's heart rate. Yeah. And then she brings the people in the booth next door over and says, oh, yeah, she just came over and told me how pretty I was.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Oh my God. I was waiting for you. Well, I do have dementia. I don't think there's any question about that.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
These kids are going to be miserable adults. I mean, they're going to make everyone miserable around them because they have no idea how to assimilate and then not everything is about them. And I think you have to start teaching your kids how to be adults.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Yeah, we talk about it all the time with my girlfriends. Like, we feared our parents. Like, we feared their disappointment. We feared punishment. We feared what they would do to us. And my mom was the hard person, not really my dad. But now there's, like, it's almost the reverse. Like... the parents are afraid of the kid a little bit. It's a weird flip of dynamic, I feel like.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Yeah. I mean, what can the next one be? Because this woman went over your hair, your skin. I mean, she did a breakdown of the beauty.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
It was a real detailed compliment. I thoroughly enjoyed it. If you would have been a peacock, all your feathers would have been up.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Okay. She's great. Here's the deal. I've always really, really, really, really liked her. I've always watched her shows. Yeah, yeah. She seems like the most normal person you could ever meet. Like you would never know she's won an Oscar. I mean, she just seems like somebody that could sit down and you could just bullshit with and really – I mean, she's smart.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
And the therapist was like, it's not you. You don't get to decide your path. And it taught me. So it was an aha moment, which sounds stupid. But your kids give you perspective if you're lucky.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Well, I was going to say, have you ever known anybody that was more on that?
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Totally. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I'll just say this, Kylie. Every time I catch myself in this screen, I need a lot of help here today.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Yeah, I know. That's exactly what I was thinking. Like, I couldn't even clap us in.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Right. You're the, here's the thing. Someone might say, well, that's unusual. That doesn't happen. That exact same thing has happened at my house. I've had to replace a whole set of forks twice in probably 12 years. And you know what else? I've had to replace steak knives. Really? I guess they just have something and they just throw it away.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
No, I'm completely with you, which is why I'm going to go on record yet again saying... The empty nest is the best part of life. You have all your forks? Are all your forks accounted for? All my forks are accounted for. All my steak knives are accounted for. Everything's accounted for in my house.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
No, absolutely. That is one of many, many good things about the children no longer living in the house.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Always. Always going to be the Gulf of Mexico. It's always going to be Greenland, not red, white and blue land. And Canada will never be the 51st state. There, said it.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
Yes. And if that doesn't scream lesbian, I don't know what is. I mean, that's, that's pretty gay. Yeah.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
What is this like the fourth or fifth article we've read recently that confirms we have to be really smart?
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
More than a side. Yeah. And now I look in the mirror or the camera and I have like, I mean, I'm just falling apart.
I've Had It
Dump Trucking
No, I get really bad. I give the dogs after breakfast in the morning. I give them each like a treat thing, like a chew thing. And I give Blaze two because he's 100 pounds. And I give Ollie one. And Ollie always side eyes me with it. Always. And I just thought I was getting by with it this whole time. But now I know I'm not.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah. It's kind of like when you buy a cheeseburger, like I buy a cheeseburger and I put no cheese on it. That's a hamburger. I know, but when you order, it's a number five with no cheese. You order the cheeseburger, but then you take the cheese off. So I've probably not taken... I've made money for them all these years not ordering cheese. So it's the same way with the lid and the bottle.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
They're profiting. Why are you laughing at me? Why are you laughing?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I know, but I order off all the burgers on this one menu in town. You intentionally order a cheeseburger without cheese? Yes, because they don't have just like a plain hamburger option. So I order the no cheese. So I'm like, that's saving them 30 cents every time I order. But if I order a hamburger with cheese, you have to pay extra for the cheese.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I'm not getting a discount for not ordering the cheese. Kylie, do you know what's going on? Are you okay? Look at the Brahms menu. Look it up right now. They do not have just a plain hamburger option.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I know, but I mean, from the drive-thru window, I didn't see just a hamburger option.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Well, and I took my dog to the vet yesterday for, for x-rays and both the veterinarian and the vet tech. extended their condolences to me about your cat. And I was like, I know it's sad, but we were ready.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I want that cheese charged. Like this whole time I've been mad about it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah, I just kind of think you tell the five-year-old you're not going to act like an asshole at the wedding or you're not going.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
It's what we used to call accountability before Trump's America. That's right. There used to be accountability for behavior.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Well, and they just... having somebody like the isolation is what gets you human or dog apparently.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Okay, it's better. I tried harder this weekend, and he did a little bit better. Oh, yesterday when I picked him up from school, it took me a lot longer than it took you, but I got him to sit. After a while, he just gets so excited. He just comes out of his skin.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And it's just... It is such a catch-22 because they ask for your opinion. I do think the rule Wesley had at first was, I'm going to tell you how I feel once, and then I'm never going to bring it up again. I have done that. It has bitten me in the ass so hard. Yeah. I had one of my very best friends forever. She and her future husband were just dating. They broke up and she was like, he's a loser.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I've got to get away from him. So what did I do? I doubled down on that. I went in and started telling her how much of a loser he was, how I could identify every loser part of him. And I mean, I left no stone unturned. And about three weeks later, they're back together. They get married. And I have to live with that. Like she knows, I think he's a loser.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Now they're divorced, but he's the father of her kids. And we laugh about it now, but it was just like, it is such an uncomfortable feeling to do that. But when it's your best friend, I just think you have to be honest and be like, I'm not their biggest fan, but I think for the sake of your friend, you have to be courteous.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
It was kind of easier for you because I hated him as much as you hated him. It was so easy. Right. We were in lockstep with our hatred.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Right. I would think those animals would all be French Bulldogs though.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
There was no, there wasn't enough lipstick at the Chanel store to put lipstick on that pig.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
No, absolutely not. No. I mean, it was, it was so ridiculous. I look back and I think that is the dumbest you have ever been. Full stop. I mean, just dumb, dumb. That went on for months. Yeah. And then we moved back in the same house. I mean, we never had sex or anything, but still.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And that's why I am doing the Lord's work that I don't believe in. But I really do love you guys and wanted to share that with you.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Me too. It's ridiculous. And I wake up in the morning, Jennifer, and I tell you what – I wake up, my throat and my mouth are so dry. It's like somebody painted it with chalk. Same. You would think that we've been French kissing. I know. I mean, we haven't, but we could have been. And then not only is my throat and mouth, are my throat and mouth dry and chalky.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah, you were like... Because her back was to me as they were leaving, and Jennifer is just giving her the most evil eye you've ever seen. And they looked exactly, exactly... If they hadn't had the MAGA hat on, we both would have been able to identify them as MAGA.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, just fresh off the boat from January 6th. Freshly pardoned. Yes, freshly pardoned from jail. They just looked exactly... And Jennifer was like... I said, look, look, look. And she was like, Oh, that guy with the magnet. I'm like, that's a woman. And she's like, that's a woman.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, she was old enough to know better. Had we known about the barking? Like I hadn't heard about the barking. I didn't know people were doing that. Would you have barked?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yes, please. OKC caller, we need more details. Or send an Instagram to Seth where this is, and we might take a loop through there. Please message Kylie or Seth. OK, who's next? Up next, we've got Jess.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
It tastes like the biggest dog on the planet has come and taken a big steaming dump in my mouth. And I wash, I mean I mouthwash, I brush, I scrape, and the entire day, I still feel like my breath could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon. And I was at the vet yesterday and she was trying to show me some x-rays. And so we're kind of having to lean in and I have to put my hand over my mouth.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Totally. And... Hashtag mood board. Love the accent. We all know I love an accent. She's fabulous.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
See, here's the thing. I feel like, I mean, Stanley caps are pretty expensive. So she must like her. So do you think she likes her and that's why she wants to bring her into the cult?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah. That's a tough one. I just think I would just not use it. I just wouldn't – I don't think I'd make a big scene because what if her boss and all her other co-workers are Trumpers?
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah. Big talking is one of our specialties. Yeah. I'm a big talker. We're big fantasy people. Huge. We chew out people and fantasies like you would not believe.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
And I was like, I'm so sorry. I know my breath is terrible. I mean, it is awful. You can just taste it and I'm sick of it and I've had it and I want it to stop. And I can only imagine the snoring that's going along with my open mouth breathing sleep. I mean, I'm sure it is a freight train.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Right, until the kids got up because we got up super early before the kids so we could do this.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Right. With my hand over my mouth. And here's the thing. She's like, I can't smell your breath. And I'm like, what are you going to say if you could smell my breath? You're not going to say, oh my God, your breath is terrible. But I just, I have that film in my mouth all day long. It doesn't matter how much mouthwashing, brushing, scraping. I'm just, I've had it. I need to get over it.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
No, totally. And I've done, I've had that happen to me too. And what I can't get over is why are you taking the lid off the water, but allowing the lid on the soft drinks? Like, I don't understand that. That makes no sense. There's no symmetry to that.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Yeah, it's really sad because when you see pictures of like your kids when they were little with her, it's like, oh my gosh, she's been around for so many different steps in life, changes. It is sad. And when you tell me, I immediately felt guilty because I've been harboring this.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Well, I would say I'd probably be more likely to be a litigant and one of the claimants because I did when I got a water at a soccer game in London, no lid. I put it underneath my seat.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Immediately knocked it over. Got my purse all wet, walked through it. I'm surprised I didn't fall head first down the stairs, but I do. It worries me that it's like I'm going to slip. And now I'm like, because I did fall the other day, I'm super paranoid about it. So I just threw the water away. I was like, I cannot be trusted with water.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
A lawyer that... Okay, a lawyer that represents themselves has a fool for a client. So I would say no. I could either be the lawyer or the litigant. Because you're no fool. I am no fool. Well...
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
You know, her quality of life has, or her quantity of life has outlived her quality of life. And so I just, I'm sorry about that. And it was traumatic how you found her.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I have instituted a whole new policy on hydration and, Number one, I do not drink liquids after 6 p.m. Here, here, here, here. Yeah, I mean none. If I eat dinner like at 6.30, I just choke it down, no liquid. Because if I get up to potty in the middle of the night, that means my dog has to get up and potty. So that means I'm schlepping out to super cold weather. So I've just been really focused.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
Intentionally dehydrating. Intentionally dehydrating. Tell them about the Stanley. And, well, I would love to take credit that I'm not on the Stanley, but I stopped the Stanley because my girlfriend said her dermatologist said the straw makes you have more wrinkles. So I'm completely off the Stanley.
I've Had It
Narcissistic Dead People
I mean, I'm like, I'm not paying this much money for Botox and filler and all the other shit. To sit around and Stanley straw my way in to worse wrinkles. I mean, I already smoked for 100 years. So I've got to start doing better on that. So now I've completely I'm off the Stanley dehydrating on purpose. Thank you, Kylie.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
What a great review. That's a great review. I like the 12-year-old boy humor. That stuck out to me because that's me. Yeah.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yes, Luke, thank you for listening. That's a, you know, it's a difficult situation. And we're in your corner for sure.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It's just such a double standard. And you see it with women need to be pretty, but not too pretty. They need to be direct, but not too direct. But what, you know, really what kills me in that, because it's so true, is the exact same wording. A woman's aggressive and a man's assertive. The exact same words. But I mean, you know, that's how it is.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Nothing about these people surprises me. They think Donald Trump's patriotic because he dry humps the flag. Like, that's who they are. They think they are rah-rah, big muscle guys with homoerotic pictures of Donald Trump on their t-shirts and they're big men.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I think it's a great idea. In fact, one of my girlfriends, her son lost his iPhone and she said, okay, you can either buy yourself a new one or, and she just got him like your basic phone and, His grades went up. His anxiety decreased. His hygiene was better. I mean, it's crazy. And that's anecdotal, whatever.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
But if you're not on your phone all the time, you have a lot more time on your hands to do other stuff.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
He could be the reason. I think I'm more impressed about that story is that he remembered that he hooked up with her in college.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Every single person hates this experience. You can't make it better. So why are we talking about it? It's like getting a pap smear. You know, let's not have a follow up interview about the pap smear. Right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
What I've had it with is no matter what you do nowadays. Nowadays. Does that sound like a get off my lawn type situation? Yeah, but proceed. Yeah. Okay. Everybody wants your feedback. You send an email and they want your feedback. You go to the doctor. They want your feedback. You buy something. They want your feedback. Why do you want my feedback?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I mean, it just I'm sick of it. It's like every time I open my phone, I get a text wanting my feedback or open my email. I've got an email wanting my feedback.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
As it went on, do you think that he started noticing that people were getting bored and tried to wrap it up quicker? No.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah, it sounds miserable. It just sounds absolutely miserable. Graduation. He ruined my son's graduation. And here's the deal. I bet you he is running around telling everybody in his life, I did such a great job. They loved it so much. I inspired. These 18-year-olds walked away inspired by me.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That's awful. And that's a shame it ruined it for so many people. Yeah.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I don't remember what happened. Which is probably a good thing. I don't either. Yeah. So, I mean, probably in five, ten years, you won't remember this. Everybody's going to remember that grandstander. You do.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Three times as long. Here's the deal on that. So he is so narcissistic. Totally. That he thought what he had to say was more important than the collective want of everybody in that room. Angie, he saved somebody's life and his therapist encouraged him to tell people. Probably in two minutes or less, he could have told that story.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Well, you know, it damaged me. If I would have been there, I would have been vaping. I would have been like, and blowing. And I would have supported it.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
It changed the mood. It really did. Everybody would have bitched all the way home.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Did they mention it? Have you talked to anybody since then that mentioned it?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Go have a therapy session about this. But he's so right about the wife. I've heard that. Yes. I've heard people do that. And I'm like, what? I haven't heard women do it. So I think it's straight men. I think that's who does it. I'm going to go ask the husband. It's just stupid. It's stupid. Gross. Grow up. Grow up. All right. Next. Love that he's an air traffic controller.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Right. Unless you have a special connection to the person that has the baby or are related to the baby, you universally don't give a fuck. Nobody gives a shit. Especially about the stats. Yeah. Joe Blow, you know, two cities away has a seven pound, 13 inch baby. baby that at three months makes eye contact. Nobody cares.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Which did they do something above average if they're in the 90th percentile? It's not like they did anything. They're just growing. But people throw it out there like it's an achievement. Like he achieved to be one pound over the 90th percentile at birth. Well, shut the fuck up.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. And do you think this is a function of – because we had kids before social media. This is a function of social media. I mean, we didn't send out cards once a month.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
See, I just remember getting like Christmas cards once a year. That was the only update I got on people's kids or families other than the people I ran with.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
So, okay. But the public at large, you're right. You're right. Now that I think about it, you're right.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
In fact, what you said in that phone call was I said, do not bring this up. At least wait a while. Don't don't do this. And you go, oh, I'm never going to bring it up. You said never. You said I am never going to bring it up. Only to find out that five minutes later you bring it up.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That's why we had a conscious plan going forward. Not letting it just came out. What was his response? Now I got to know.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah, I mean, I just thought we were really, I thought we had reached an agreement because you said, I'm never, do you remember saying never? Yeah, I do. And I think you meant it in the moment, to your credit. I think you were like, I can do it. I think I did too. But then you just got in there and you saw him with this tapioca in the ear thing and you're just like, this is all for fucking not.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I didn't, I didn't expect it to be never. I never thought we were getting to never, but I didn't think we'd, I mean, I thought we could go past surgery day.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Also, your tolerance for medical stuff is low anyway. It's like the perfect storm. It's the three things. hypochondriac you hate, you're not great in medical situations.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And the fact that you've been married to him for 25 years. I mean, it's the perfect storm.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah, but after you've been married 25 years, I don't think anyone would be just like...
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
gosh i can't wait to get to the hospital for my husband's elective here's the deal here's the problem with this pumps most people would have stayed at the hospital you were gonna let him uber i was in the hospital and i said no we're not doing that she was gonna let him fucking take an uber to surgery and i was just like no we're not i was because here's the thing
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You're a growing bitch. But I do think in your defense, it is the perfect storms of all the things that make you crazy.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Especially medical situations. I know. I know. I knew the train was going south when he stayed home from work because of earwax. I knew right then. We were at the top of the mountain. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
That's why I can't throw you under the bus too much because my ex-husband was a hypochondriac. He would stay home from work for diarrhea. Yeah. And then it'd be like, where are you going? What are you doing? I'm like, why the fuck do you care? 360 days a year, you don't care. And now you want to ask me where I'm going? Go fuck yourself. No. So I get it. Yeah.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Right. Now that you know it's an excuse that'll get you out of work.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Right. I mean, that's just such a bad excuse. That is such a bad excuse.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I don't want him to be deaf to have a hearing aid. I want him to have to have, I don't want him to be deaf, but I do want him to have to wear a hearing aid. And that's terrible. That is terrible. But he's just so fucking vain that I just, just for a little bit.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Not for a long time, but just like three or four days they said, okay, you're never going to be able to hear again unless for five days, 24 hours a day, you wear a hearing aid and you can't stay home from work because of the hearing aid. You have to go to the Oklahoma County Courthouse.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
No, I want the big white one that's ear shaped that like slides in your ear and it has the big thing over it that's all. Yes, I want most. And then I want him to be incoordinate to go... You know how sometimes you're hearing a squeak because of the noise? Yes. I kind of want that to go down a few times.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I don't want to give you my feedback because it's over. I don't want to think about it anymore. Why is everything requiring feedback? And then I'll tell you what I do because I'm a codependent. The other day, I was just getting ready to leave. I think you suck feedback. So I had it all typed up, all my grievances, all my complaints. And then I thought...
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Because that would be necessary. That would be medically necessary. But then here's what you would do. You would say, none of this would have happened if you wouldn't have had the first ear surgery. So blah, blah, blah, blah. You justify it to yourself that way.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
And I want to remind everybody that started with he thought he had brain disease. Right. He thought he was getting dementia. Then it was a brain disease. But I also wonder how much I can't hear. Can he not really hear?
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah. No, I'm not saying it's fun. I'm not. I'm not saying I just love it. Okay.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Here we go. What is it about? It's about our lives, our friendship, how we got here. And you only thought you knew the story, but the real story is in the book. So get the book.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
You can go to any of your local book dealers or you can order at the link in bio. All right. And then tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Bye. I thought I did really good on that. You are a bitch.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
In the medical procedure. A hundred percent. All of this is true. I'm not denying any of it. And I think he's right because you couldn't smoke cigarettes in all of these places. But vaping, you can, which has emboldened me. You can't. You say you can, but you can't. But people would know if you were smoking a cigarette on an airplane. Right. People would know if I lit up a cigarette.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Yeah, that's true. I mean, when I sit down on the bike, I put my phone, get that all set up, then I put my vape right there.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
Because it's like... But I couldn't smoke in the... Like, I would not have gotten up out of bed to go outside and smoke a cigarette in the middle of the night. So Josh is 100% right on the entitlement because it's just so easy.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
What if that person's a single mother and gets fired because I said this? I don't want to do that. So then I feel bad for what's probably AI emailing me this crap. So that's my own problem and my own issue. But just leave me alone.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
I like that. Yeah. All right. Well, I just wanted to... Josh, I just want you to know out of that entire conversation, the only thing that resonated with me was that my biceps look good. That's just all I'm going to say. I agree.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
No, I get it. It's not like the aversion like smoking. It's just you don't want it around. Right. Right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, the HVIC, or the HVIC head vapor in charge.
I've Had It
Megachurch Megahell
What I love about these Shady Rays are I lose my sunglasses or I break them and they have a lost and broken protection that has me covered from day one.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I love their luggage sets. I bought a set this Christmas. They are the best. And what I love about Quince is they're so competitively priced.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I love Cookunity because I'll be sitting there. What am I going to have for dinner? I don't want just the same old thing, burger and fries. Go straight to my freezer. A delicious meal prepared by an expert is ready in under five minutes.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, here's the deal. When we were little, there was nothing to do except play outside, run, go to the neighbors, do all that. Now they can be on their phone and they never even have to go outside.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah. And they just all their interaction for young people, all those young kids. It is. It's all they can't really talk to like other people. And they can't exercise apparently now. Can't run very fast. Okay, Kylie, what do we have today?
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I am too, but just not on the street I drive. Everything is about me and my world, and that bugs the fuck out of me. I'm just like, we have a thousand different lanes you can do. If I saw somebody riding their bike like a car, I probably would go full Karen. I might just lose my damn mind. That's where I am today.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I mean, I might get out of the car and run up and push him off the bike and just be like, get out of those stupid pants.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
We were just talking about that. I laughed my ass off just knowing Linda's response to that. It's so funny. I had somebody text me this weekend. They had a child that was in the hospital having surgery. And they're like, I think it was a group text. Mine just came to me individually. And it was like, you know, pray for so and so. And I was like, I'm keeping him so close in my thoughts.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
No. I have always said parents should pay me to meet their future spouse. I'm really good at women, but like men, terrible.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I wish. I really would be so much better at it. But I'm not kidding. Like, I would always pick, like, if I think the person is great... then you immediately run, run, run.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, I think the podcast, we post the same stuff on the podcast, but Kylie sends it to us. So that's really different.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Because sometimes if I post two things a day, I'm thinking people are looking at this going, she's fucking crazy. a nut, quit posting all the time. You know, when it says so-and-so posted or whatever. So yeah, I get that. Now, interestingly enough, I did have somebody come up to me and say that they listened to the podcast
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
And that she and her husband both had their, they had a couple's Instagram account together. And she just like laid it up there. And I was like, okay. Did you know this person? No, she was like, hey, I love the pod. But I did hear the other day that you've had it with couples that have the same Instagram account. And my husband and I have the same Instagram account. And I was like, okay. Red flag.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I get so excited when I see it. Like I take pictures of it and send it to you, even though I know you have Instagram. Those pictures were particularly great.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Oh, speaking of, has Stephanie given you the present she got you? No. Is it a top knot headband? Let's have to wait and see. It's fucking hilarious.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
What I love about Shady Rays is the lost and broken protection because I lose my sunglasses or break them at a rapid pace. I don't have to worry about it because I'm covered from day one.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
You know, here's the thing. I feel like... When Marjorie Taylor Greene came on my radar, she was like she came out guns blazing, just crazy. So it was just crazy, crazy, crazy. I feel like over the last year, I've watched the psychosis engagement. You know what I mean? Like I never even heard of Nancy Mace before. And now like I worry about her. Like I think something is very, very wrong there.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Marjorie Taylor Greene, she's so mean and crazy. I feel like she's all, I don't know, but I just, I just, like, Nancy Mace gives me heebie-jeebies more. Like, it's easy to hate Marjorie Taylor Greene because she's so obnoxious and mean and hateful. Nancy Mace strikes me as unwell.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I completely agree. Here's what worries me. These people, these young Gen Zers, they're not going to know politics without the crazy, like without the Trump effect. And everybody, just the crazier you are, the more attention you get. And so
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
You Matt Gaetz it or you George, you know, just all the crazy ass shit that when I was younger, like in middle school and high school, I had no idea what was going on in politics. It was boring. You just never heard about it. Now it's entertainment. So I worry that more we're going to continue to see less politics.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
serious people in politics and the MAGA wave riding of the Matt Gaetz and the Nancy Mace and all that is going to continue because they get attention for it. And now as young people, they don't know the difference. They don't know politics is supposed to be boring. Politicians are supposed to keep the government running, do things for their constituents and move on down the road.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, didn't Tim Cook come out and support Trump? He sure did. Okay, there's your answer. Everything's worse in Trump's America. Everything. People get stupid, dumber.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Right. The lack of expertise by people that are supposed to be experts. Right.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
It's crazy. It always sends me back to COVID. Like people... When you said to me, like the only time I remember like rolling over dying laughing is when you said to me, I think all these people that are anti-vaccine, I think they should have a Facebook hospital set up in the parking lot of the real hospital.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
And when they get sick, they can let the Facebook people diagnose them and make them better. And I just thought that was so funny. Well, that's what they do.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, I think you absolutely have to address it, especially when you live in the area we do. The way I grew up, the way religion was, I was indoctrinated from the jump. I don't think people on the East and West Coast realize how it is every single day in like mega America, super Christian mega church. And for me, having been in it, my biggest thing is the lack of critical thinking, the lack of
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
like compassion and empathy where you judge other people because you're better, like the entitlement kind of to it, like, well, that couldn't happen to me because I'm who I am and I do all this. So I think that's probably, you can draw a straight line to why people collectively aren't caring about other people while it's more individual.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I mean, I just think when you boil it down, there's a through line of not really caring about anyone but yourself and thinking you're better than other people. That for me.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
You know, when your iPhone, and I'll tell you what else, since we're on the subject of iPhone. I've had it with iPhone or Apple changing all their chargers all the time. Enough. Let's pick one charger. Let's stay with it indefinitely. Let's not switch around all the time.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
That really is sweet. Really sweet. So it's still a no? I'll think about it. I hate it that he hasn't listened though. I hate that. Do you see what you're doing?
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I like it. I like the whole ha-ha-ha beavers. We're the beavers. Pumps, what have you had it with? I've had it with everything. I've had it with 15 years of Botox and now I have bruises on my face when I'm getting recorded. I've had it that my dog attacked another dog and every time I walk the dog, I have to worry about the dog. I've had it with my voice. I've had it with your voice.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Oh my gosh, I haven't even told you this. Okay, so I got a new TV and the people came out to install the TV. And afterwards, I'm signing the documents, whatever, because I didn't stay. And he wrote on the deal, I want you to know, I really love your podcast. It was great meeting you. And I texted back and I said, oh my gosh, you just don't hear that that much in Oklahoma City. Thank you so much.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
He was like, yeah, you wouldn't believe all the houses I go into where it's Fox News playing. I can hardly stand it.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah. No, I completely agree. But I thought that was nice. It's very nice. And surprising. He said all his co-workers were.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I like that. People are really talented when you get around to it. Like a lot of people in our group are smart and talented. I've just noticed that. This was artificial intelligence. Yeah, but they knew how to do the artificial intelligence. I couldn't sit down and make anything artificial intelligence. I don't know how to do it. You just get your phone and you say...
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I've had it with the fact that they're building a bike lane on the road I come to work in. I've just had it. Everybody's fucking with everything all the time. I'm sick of it. In Trump's America, everything is worse.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Yeah, of course, in my state of mind, I immediately went to you. I've had it with gin and pumps, like sick of them.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Completely agree. I can't even believe we had to do studies on this. This seems like a no-brainer. Miserable married, happy single.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
I mean, if you have a bad marriage, obviously people are married and happy. But I'm just saying, if you're in a bad marriage, obviously it's better to be single.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Oh, yeah. The financial issues, I would say, are probably the number one reason most couples stay together after, you know, if it's a semi-bad marriage, that would be the number one factor to stay together.
I've Had It
It's a Cult!
Well, if I have my phone, I'll respond pretty quickly. But if I don't have my – like sometimes I'll put my phone down and I won't respond. But this is if you – after you see it. After I see it, I'm pretty good about responding.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
And all of it should be normal. Totally. And I feel like kind of this article makes it seem abnormal, but it's very normal. And I think if that's what you want to do, go for it. Well, and here's the point to that is the dogs are, um, they're less expensive. Although mine, I don't know about, I mean, I was trying to add up what I've spent on that fucking dog. It's bad.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I mean, it's less expensive than a kid, but it's more than it should be on a dog.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
It was like if she would have said, if she wouldn't have said, do you have time to talk? So she asked me, do you have time to talk? And I said, no, I really don't right now. Okay, great. Just call me back. That could have been the end. But then it made me wish she would have just said, hey, I don't give a fuck what you're doing right now. I need to talk to you. That would have caught my attention.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I'm like, fuck no. Yeah. I told her straight up. I said, I just don't think – that's just not something I can do. I love this dog. I need to be with this dog every minute of every hour of every day that I'm not working. We go together like hand in glove. We stink on shit together. Yeah. And I just – I mean, like, there's no fucking way I could do that.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I could have probably sent my, like, three- to six-month-old to boarding school. I might have liked it. You know what? That's a great idea. Yeah. Do the boarding school when they're little.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yes. That I could have gotten behind. You know, really, they start getting fun around eight months. They do. Well, I would say – 18 months is when it really started. I started liking it.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Okay. I'm all for that. But to run a good business, you have to be on site. There's no fucking way I would be around a bunch of babies all the time. You'd hire this out.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
But this is just like, now I hate you. I hate what you're talking about. I'm going to cut my nose off to spite my face because I'm mad. It's ridiculous. Have you ever had somebody that does that? Oh, my gosh. And it's like, oh, just one more thing. And it's like, okay, well, I've got to run. Oh, just one more thing.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Well, they're probably billionaires. It's the shareholders. It's the shareholders. So they don't give a fuck. I know people that have not been able to get the treatment they needed recommended by their doctor because it was too expensive. They had to go with the cheaper option. And I'm just like, that is a sad state of affairs when we've got billionaire after billion.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Here's my question. What do the people say? Like, are they like, hey, yeah, I like the Febreze can in my ass. Like, what do they say happened? Because I had a doctor come to a party. I didn't know him, but it was a kid thing. And he was creepy and weird and we didn't like him. So then he shows us a picture from the ER where there was a shampoo bottle up somebody's ass.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
And immediately I'm like, I need to sit right by you. I need more information. And he said it was some bullshit story like, oh, he fell in the shower. And I'm just like, what is the story about a Febreze can?
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I have a question. So that, so it was adults and kids. Cause you had to wear a minor badge.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yeah, that was my, like, one of the things I remember about COVID, it's all a blur, but I remember when she told me about the Facebook hospital doctors. It was one of your proudest moments. I thought that was the funniest thing. I laughed about it for three or four days. It's like, if you're so smart, get in your Facebook hospital.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
See, I just think it's a lot of like, you can't escape people you don't like. I've been on one cruise with my grandmother when she was like 84 and we went to Alaska. It was great. But I mean, obviously I was in my early, no, mid twenties and everybody else was old as fuck. And I enjoyed the time with her, but I just thought, I don't want to eat with all these people.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I don't want, there's no alone time. I feel like there's no escape. Like it puts my claustrophobia into hyperdrive.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I love drag queens so much. I do too. They make you happy. They just make people happy.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I just hope we make it. I mean, it's fucking jet stream of bullshit all the time. What have you had it with? had it with so many things. I mean, I could give you a laundry list, but I'm going to start with this. I've had it with people when you tell them I can't talk right now that continue to fucking talk. I had a girl call me last night as we were going into the reproductive forum that we
I've Had It
The Money Shot
He's not as big of a hypochondriac as you are nurse ratchet. That's probably fair. And she faints at the sight of blood.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
You got it. All right. Thanks, Blake. Ciao. Bye. All right. I love Nurse Blake, but even as much as I love him and think he's hot, I could not go on a cruise. I just couldn't do it. I think he is so hot.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Okay, so. One of my dearest girlfriends, like we have this group chat of our college friends and we've been friends 35 years. So she sent us a picture of a group of guys our age, college friends. And our immediate thing is we were all like, oh my God, they look so old. Oh my God. they look so old. And then I go, oh my God, they think the same thing about us.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Like you never realize how old you look, which is why I don't have a badge for the courthouse. And I stand in line with the criminals because I want to be cute and young and adorable, 25 to 35 Angie, and not almost 55 Angie that looks like, as the internet tells me all the time, a battered old hag. I mean, it's just, it's unbelievable how you can or how I cannot judge.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Right. You would say, don't kiss me or let me brush my teeth. Nobody would just go in for a full makeout session with morning breath. Okay. Here's another thing. Let me add to that. Let me build. How about when they have the actor or actress wake up with the full, like, oh, I'm asleep. And then I have a full face of makeup and my hair's perfect. That's not real.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I was just watching the show and I was just so irritated. I was like, nobody believes you went to bed with the full face of makeup and looked that good in the morning.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Because there's no... No French kissing with morning breath, full stop. And I'm glad you brought this up because that does bother me. It's so – it's just like I always think your breath is horrible.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yeah. And over being... I know, you're over softness. Hey, at this point, I might take soft serve. You would take a soft serve? No, I really wouldn't. I just said that. But, I mean, it's been a minute.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
And she said, is this a good time? And I said, no, it's actually not. I'm walking into a deal. Okay, well, I just wanted to tell you. And I'm like, okay, I'll talk to you about it. Let me call you back probably tomorrow or the next day. She's like, okay, just one more thing for you to think about. And I just, in my head, I thought. I don't care what we're talking about. I'm a no.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I do too. And I love that he was like, I hate it so much that I'm taking my time out because he owned it. And I respect that. I hate them so much that I'm going to get on the internet. I like it. I respect it.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
If somebody hurts... A child – like if I beat my child, the judge isn't going to say, oh, well, babysit somebody else's child. You can run a daycare. Like this girl should be charged with being psychotic. I mean she's poisoning animals.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
I'm immediately a no because you won't get, allow me to get off the phone. I told you I couldn't talk and you won't let me off the phone. I've had it with that. I've had it with people that do that. I don't know what the deal is. Makes me never want to talk to this person again. Like I'm, I was so fired up about it.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yes, now that I totally remember because I kind of feel like, because we were younger, so that seemed, I mean, it's crazy all the time forever. But back when we were young, there wasn't just such a glut of power moms. So that seemed to be an outlier. Now, if you told me that was happening, I would think, oh yeah, these power moms, they fucking lost their mind. Like I...
I've Had It
The Money Shot
It's so – I mean, just the parents being in there and doing all that. Yes, it's crazy, but it was even crazier then, I think.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
Yeah, until I had a French Bulldog, I wasn't as on board with this as I am now. Although, one thing that I have so much admiration for millennials, because we all know I'm 54. Almost 55. Almost 55. I mean, we're pushing it. Birthday girl's about to pop up. Let's not. Let's just act like it doesn't happen. But there was no other choice for me. It didn't matter what your career was.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
It didn't matter anything other than you became a wife and a mother. There was not a lane for someone to say, what I would have loved to have been if I had my whole life to do over again would be a college football sideline reporter. I think I'd be great at it. Oh, my god. You'd be so good at that. I'd be so good at it. But first of all, I don't think there were female sideline reporters back then.
I've Had It
The Money Shot
But it never occurred to me that I had a choice not to become a wife and a mother. And so I'm not saying I have resentment about having kids. That's not what I'm saying. But I didn't ever feel like I had a choice. And so to see – and I think I have a lot of admiration for women because even in this day and age, there's a lot of pressure on women. When are you getting married?
I've Had It
The Money Shot
When are you going to have a baby? I have a lot of admiration for women that say, I'm not interested in becoming a mother. I don't know that I'll become a wife because I think it's a kind of agency that I never felt like I had.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
They are. What was, what was, go back real quick. What was the, is harpies, is that good? I've not heard that before.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Angela and Angie. Well, you don't see a lot of like five-year-olds named Angie or Angela. But I do think the exception to that is Angela is on there, but is dawning of an angel on there? I don't think so.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Yeah. So that that wins the day. But when I was reading that. after i thought cinnamon roll gate i immediately thought like if i am somewhere and if i was at a table of people and somebody said can i have a bite and the person said no i think i would probably think what an and i agree with the boundaries and all that but i think i would be like i think it's weirder to ask somebody for a bite
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
No, I just because I'm thinking like when people that I mean, I don't eat with big groups that I'm not really close with. We get we put it on the little plate and we pass it over.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
See, that's my problem. And I completely get the Josh thing. But I've also been in situations where I'm like, hey, do you want me to order you something? And they say, no. No, no, no. I'm good. And then they want half yours and part of yours. Now that part, I guess I am. I'm in on that. Like I asked you if you wanted it. You said you didn't know you have one bite. That's it.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
And Josh is he's a taker after just one bite. Yeah. And he's always like he's always shopping.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I have, we have questioned on this podcast with, we're craning towards recession and every, you know, the American brands going down, bond market, all of it is going down. Is there going to be a time where you have CEOs that are losing money come out and say, this administration is destroying the economy or is everybody gonna just continue to toe the line?
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Right. But for me, having grown up in it... I had a picture of it in my mind. Like I knew what it was. I had pictures how it was all laid out. Now obviously that was my interpretation of it, but it was very real. It was like a real place.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I agree. I mean, that's something to think about because we talk about all the time that the victims of most of Trump's policies and trickle-down economics is poor people. That's who suffers.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Well, that's what we've lost nowadays. Instead of saying, okay, we're coming to this from two opposite sides. Let's talk it through. It might not change my mind, might not change your mind, but we'll both be enlightened and we'll both learn something. Now it's just we disagree. I know you are, but what am I? And I'm sick of that.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
I've heard him talk about it before. Yeah, but I don't know what the whole story is. I love that. I love that he's like, fuck you, come after me. He said it was a badge of honor.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Blessings, the whole night, she's selling it, grifting just as bad as he is.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Way, way back to the very beginning. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with, and it's just, it's making me insane, is is that everyone is acting like the separation of church and state does not exist. You've got Pete Hegseth having prayer breakfast with right-wing evangelicals. You've got our state superintendent trying to get public money to pay for private school.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Right. No, I agree with that. It's got to come with, the call needs to be within the house. Exactly. Okay. I'm going to tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Jennifer, I have been, this is happening to me. It's so on my mind all the time because it's so crazy and so dangerous. We're driving the other day. I go, that guy walking looks like Peter Navarro. Why the fuck do I think that? I'm sitting at the Thunder Game the other night and I look across the thing and I'm like, oh my God, J.D. Vance is here. Like I'm seeing it. Everything reminds me of MAGA.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Somebody has a complaint and says, you know, I don't really think that's my fault. And I'm thinking, well, they're MAGA. They don't take accountability for anything. Like, I can't get away from it. It's in every thought. And I fucking had it with that.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
Okay, here's what I'm going to say about Trump derangement syndrome. If calling out fascism an administration that's hurting the American people and lying is Trump derangement syndrome, then I have it. And I proudly have it because I'm not standing by for this horseshit. Welcome to I've had it. I've had it. I am Jennifer. I am Angie, the HBIC, and that stands for head beaver.
I've Had It
Bible Thump Dump Truck
The Supreme Court stopped it, but that's where we're trending. I'm so sick of it. I'm so tired of everybody acting like that Christianity is the foundation of the US government instead of the fact that the reason the United States even exists is to get away from religious restraints and that we're founded on freedom from religion and government.
I've Had It
Feed the Strays
And he was like, please be a boy, oh man, oh man. Red state blue balloons, let's do it. The confetti's just shredded in the air.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Well, you know, it's interesting. Why do they want to shut down the Department of Education? Why did they want to whitewash history for these exact reasons?
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
What's so important about BetterHelp, it's an investment in yourself for yourself and you cannot get a more flexible, better opportunity for therapy than BetterHelp.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Yeah, I blame it on Trump, of course. But here's the thing. I don't understand. Explain it to me. Why, if I'm paying for the show, and I'm sorry, if I'm paying for the streaming service, why they just can't give me all the shows at once? Why do they have to do it like network television TV, which is sponsored by ads? Seems like a double dip to me.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Yeah, it fucks with my serenity. Like I'm even to a place now where I go to a business and they have an American flag flying. And I immediately am triggered. I'm like, I don't want to shop here. You know, I mean, I'm just always looking for the MAGA element and everything. And it's like, maybe they just want a flag.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Okay, because I was thinking somebody could have signed me up under Angela Dawn Beaver, but that would have been quick work. Okay, so this, normally I just throw these away.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Yeah, it makes sense what you're saying about creating hype. But my thing is I'm impatient and I need a release and I can't think past myself.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Yeah, I agree. And I was part of it. I grew up in it. So I completely, the narcissism, the entitlement, the I'm better than you, it can't happen to me because I'm better, I'm chosen. That's how I was raised. That's how I believed. So I completely, and that is my absolute biggest gripe looking back. I mean, obviously I have a lot of them not teaching
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
critical thinking skills, no ability to solve problems outside of prayer, which doesn't work, all of those things. But the way that I judged the world and other people is such a huge regret for me. And it's all because of the evangelical movement. But Pumps, I think you have to be...
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
That to me is just like so cathartic to hear. Because that's how you feel. Yes. That is exactly how you feel. Okay. This will not surprise you, but I don't think I've ever told you this. So when my ex-husband and I were dating, so the law office that I worked at, we were 11 o'clock lunchers. Like we went to lunch, strike the bell at 11, somewhat like we do now.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
So he would always call and say, hey, do you want to go to lunch? And I'd say, oh, well, we have plans, but you can come with us. And so he'd say, okay, can we go at 1145 or can we go at noon? And can we go this place? So he changed the place and changed the time. That is so typical. Yeah. Isn't it so typical? And so I came out of my office one day and my law partner was like, fuck him.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
He can either come with us or he didn't have to come with us. We're not changing our shit. This is what we do. He knows this is what we do. And I was like, fucking right on. That's exactly how I feel with this. Like, if you want to come with me, this is where we're going. And I have a friend like this. That we all conspire. We pick a restaurant and then we don't say, where do you want to go?
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
It is, we are going here and here's the time we're going. Come or don't come. Like those are your options. We don't leave it up for discussion. We don't want any input. Either you come or you don't.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
I didn't until I got my puppy, but I love Branch Basics because they have no fragrances and they're effective cleaning and it doesn't irritate my pet.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
You don't have to be a dick. See, I, having been one of these people, I mean, not to the level of a triple-trumper, but having evolved, I should have more appreciation and patience with people in this. But part of me thinks some of them are never going to get out. Like, it's kind of like the Scientology thing. Like, they're never going to get out and see it.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
And I do think you have to have a place for these people that... to help them because I think the lack of community, they feel community with all this. They think that they have friends in this. So when they get away from it, they're going to feel isolated. So they have to have a community of other people.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
And I should have more grace than most people, but it's just really hard for me to believe that there's more than just a fraction of a percent of them that will find enlightenment because I think the cruelty that's so embedded, that's like a human character defect. And I'd love to think they can get empathy, But I don't know. I mean, I'm so grateful for this person doing it.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
And if somebody came to me and was like, hey, I'm a triple tripper and I want to get out of that, I want to do better, I could have patience for that. But as a group at large, do I have a lot of hope that they're going to critically think, start vetting their news, doing the right thing, voting for human rights? I mean, that's a stretch for me. I hope I'm wrong. I would love to be wrong.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Because it's hard. You have to self-reflect. You have to do the work. You have to be open to the fact that you were wrong. You have to accept that you have character defects and that you have been doing the wrong thing. And that's hard. You have to admit that your way failed and you have to start a new course. I mean, it's not easy. I mean, I think you're probably right.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Okay, what I've had it with, and I know we've talked about it before, but I'm really fired up about it right now. What I've had it with is you pay for streaming services. So you're paying for it. They're not putting ads in it. And they don't release all the shows at once. And they slow drip the episodes once. One week at a time. So everybody right now is talking about the White Lotus.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
It amazes me how many people are just nonchalant about what's going on in the United States today. It amazes me that all these national security Republicans are pro-Putin now. It amazes me that there are not more alarm bells sounding that an unelected bureaucrat from South Africa is slashing the federal government. I don't think there's any question that Elon Musk is running the country.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Full stop. I think it's Vladimir Putin personally. Well, absolutely. They are in a – who can be world domination tour to – I don't know what they're doing, but they're linked. They're absolutely linked. And Donald Trump is a – He is the biggest idiot I've ever seen. At this point, I think crashing the economy and tariffs, no tariffs, tariffs, no tariffs, the economy crashing, recession coming.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
I'm not talking about it because I haven't seen it because I have to wait until I can binge watch it. And I feel like Netflix spoiled us. And then we're paying for these services. We should get all the shows at once. I've had it.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Maybe Asshole Island should be Beavers for Democracy Island. Beavers for Democracy could be the next Women's March. Oh my gosh. Great minds think alike because I was thinking we could have a Beavers for Democracy March. We could. We could make t-shirts. We could wear beaver hats.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Not unless I could get somebody else's body. Like, could I get like a hot body? Like, okay, we're going to designate this, you know, like Giselle's body for me. Designate that. But otherwise, I think it's just a grift. I think it's like selling plots in heaven kind of thing with the evangelicals. I mean, I just think it's all a grift.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
But I would reconsider if I thought I could have a really good body when I came back. I thought about this.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
You know, I've had that conversation with my kids. Like, I would love to be learning history 100 years from now. Like what my great, great descendants, great, great grand descendants or whatever it is. I would love to know what they're going to learn about this administration and the state of the country. And I'm like you, like, I want the autopsy on the triple Trumpers.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
Do they say, I mean, do they definitively find that it's a cult and that's what they put in history books? I mean, that's my expectation. But I mean, what they're going, what history is going to say about these people in this administration, I too would want that injected into my veins. Like the documentaries, I want to read the textbooks. I want to read the treaties.
I've Had It
White Trash Conman
I want to read all of it because it will be fascinating. I don't know that we'll be alive long enough to see history.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I think I'm exactly what he needs. Hey, Kylie, put that back up there. I want to go over a few things. Okay, here we go. He's got his height and weight listed. That's a red flag. He's an alpha male, a high value alpha male. That's a huge red flag. Successful He has a high emotional intelligence, which tells me he doesn't. He thinks he does, but he doesn't, which is even worse than not having one.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
If I haven't used your app, I don't need your app anymore. Quit calling me. And I was probably too harsh with the girl because it wasn't her fault. I've never heard of anything like that. Calling to see why you're not using an app anymore. I mean, that was like a bridge way too far.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He's looking for someone that's fit, smart, respectful. So I guess that means you have to ask before you can use the bathroom. Fun, feminine, cooperative, and agreeable are my two favorites.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I'm assuming that means he has high values, high morals, high ethics, but I don't know. That's a guess.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
You know what I'd love to know? Who are the people that respond to these ads? I mean, who are the people that are like, that's my guy? I believe one of them is Angela Dawn. I'm a real person.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, no. And he's really young. What about six foot four inches barefoot? Barefoot, not in shoes, not in lifts. How about telling you how fast his tongue goes like a hummingbird? I mean, it's not a bad quality. So what do we say about men that are over six foot four?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He excluded himself on the... regardless of his emotional intelligence, the American flag, that it just immediately runs all through me. No.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, I wonder, is it like a gerbil? Is it a ferret? Is it a dog? What is it? What is he collecting? I do like a grilled cheese.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
This guy's got some problems. I mean, he's got some serious anger issues. All right, Chris.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And, you know, here's the thing. Like, we wonder why all these, like, white men in their mother's basements can't form relationships with women. Well, Exhibit A, we just, the last two have just been a profile in what would terrify any woman. That is, that's kind of scary. I mean, putting this shit out there. I mean, you think it's real? You think he's like serious as a heart attack?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Well, and they won't let you break up with them. Like, if it's not them calling you to see why you're not using the app, then it's sending you emails. Can we get you back? Or you try to unsubscribe. And it says, what can we do to change your mind? It's like, I'm breaking up with you. We're broken up. That's it. Full stop.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
It's unbelievable that they think that that's attractive. I mean, that's scary. Scary. Why are these people matching with me, Kylie? I mean, what is mindset? Angela Dawn's a patriot. I made that clear. Great. Excellent. Thank you. All you have to do is say patriot, and this is the kind of crazies you get. Okay.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, we're back to the COVID thing defining me. Well, there was another thing on there that put my red flag into an F. What was it? Brainwashed or genetically modified? Like paranoid that, okay, whatever. Kylie, what did you put my age range on? This is like the third 20 something year old. It's about 20 to like 99. I'm pretty sure. Leaving my options open, of course. Yeah.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And in that whole age range, this is the best we've got. Excellent. These are your top matches. Okay.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Right. Elon can do it because he's the richest man on earth. But living, you know, hotel, that whole transient lifestyle, that's not super attractive. I mean, I just, here's the thing. I have a lot of crazy shit in my head, like a lot of stupid, weird stuff that I'll think.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
But like, then you say an idea or you sleep on an idea. You know, you say it out loud and then you sleep on it. These people, like they had these ideas in their head, but they put them down and published them on the internet for everybody to see.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
And there was zero like inclination that maybe this is not a good look, or maybe I'm not projecting the right image because they're so ingrained that if you're a vaxxer and don't want to cook and clean and wipe his kid's ass, you know, you're missing out on a great, and they think they're great, like great catches. That's the amazing part to me. Just a little aside.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I love the crossover bra because it keeps you from having uniboob while lifting. And I have kind of big boobs, so it just lifts them right up and they look perky. And it almost looks like I have just like fabulous cleavage.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I really enjoy the calm meditation because it helps you work through anxiety and stress. It boosts my focus and it has helped me build healthier habits. And it helps me take care of my well-being better physically.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
No, the jackhammer is intriguing. The rest of it is no. Do you think he's confessing to be a quick shot? I think he's confessing to be a gyrator. Most gyrators are quick shots.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He needs some therapy before he goes on these apps. That's my personal opinion. All right, next up.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
a journalist if they're smart what do you think do you think jeffrey epstein killed himself or do you think doj had him offed i mean i think it would have been bill barr's doj oh well bill barr's doj yeah because noticeably absent from all these releases of confidential files we're getting ufos kennedy blah blah the one case we're not getting access to is jeffrey epstein and that's because trump is all over his message boards and on his plane so
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Okay, here's the deal. obviously on these dating sites there are a lot of only fans people is that what you're getting because it's like the second or third reference right i mean it's got to be it's got to be yeah he's sorry to bring it up but he's just not going to do the only fans all right you also matched with will um
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
How about people recognize him from his junk at nudist resorts? It must be distinguished.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
It's not without complete value. I mean, I would think he'd probably be pretty well versed in all the things.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Unless it's like that kind of video. What do you mean? Like a teeny weenie video? Haven't we talked about this before that they have little weenie porn sites?
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Oh. So like chubby or like tall? Both? Like thick. Thick. Yeah. Okay. Here's the deal. This guy must... wants somebody to cook and clean, support his ass, live in their apartment, go fuck yourself. I mean, what a dick. I gotta hate him.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I mean, that part I at least have like, okay, like all these other men are pussy funny, right? I want a long-term relationship. I want to hold you in my arms and tell you I love you. Like you can imagine all the bullshit. Really, they just want a good blowjob. So
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
No, I completely agree. When you have an interpreter for English to the US president, that's cause for alarm. But here's the thing. You've read the articles like I have that he has a really hard time reading. Like it's not, he can't pick it up. Like he has to read it over and over and over again. My guess is he probably hasn't read what these orders are. I mean, that would not surprise me.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
He wants conservative values, pro-life. What is a 2A and liberal? I don't even know what that means. And then he gives a height range, a weight range, a bra cup size, a waist size. Shoe size. Shoe size. What the fuck is going on with this guy? Your wardrobe? He wants to control your wardrobe? 80% casual, 20% formal. Okay. Oh, he's 5'5". Yeah, this guy is a fucking nut right here.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
why I would never be on a website for dating. I mean, all of these people are like terrifying. Everybody wants a trad wife that gives a good blow job that's thin and has big tits. I mean, it's the misogyny jumps off the page. So thank you. I'm out. No thanks. Okay.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I mean, that would have probably better results because all these people are fucking nuts. They define themselves by being anti-vaxxers. They want to tell you what to do. They want to tell you what color your hair is. Like these guys are not catches.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
No, because I'm, I mean, no, I would never do, I would never put myself on a dating site.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I think we've got probably a lot of lying on that site, if I'm guessing. I mean, a lot of these things. But I mean, I'm kind of disturbed about all the controlling men that are looking for a single woman with no children to cook and clean their house that's a size zero. That's the ideal, I guess.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I love to listen to stuff like that because it's like you're in a miserable spot, but you're laughing at the people and they don't know it. So there's just a real, I don't know if it's superiority or like you're, I guess it kind of is, it's like, ha ha, we're laughing at your expense. We're not laughing with you. We're laughing at you and you don't know it. I like that.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Here's the deal. I'll take it because it goes to our overall rating count, or like number of reviews. So I'm going to say thank you.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
What I've had it with, I got a direct solicitation from an app on my phone asking me why I was no longer using the app. I felt freaked out. So here's exactly what happened. It was like a stalker app. So I noticed one day while we were filming, I had my phone on Do Not Disturb. I had like seven or eight calls from the same New York City number, but there were no messages.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Now, Kylie, did you answer these or you and Jennifer together? Angela Dawn answered them. I didn't. Kylie did all that.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
I was like, well, that's weird. So the next day I had like four or five. Well, then the next time they called, like, so now we've done this for two days on the third day. this number calls again and I answer and I go, who is this? And they were like, oh, this is so and so app. And we were just calling about your usage. I was like, you are calling me to see why I haven't used your app.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
What's so crazy about that is that that's when you do the pros and cons, like what's good about me that I'm going to put on my dating site. It was 3,000, 3 million miles accident free. Wow, wow. Yes, no, maybe. I'm gonna pass.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
You know, that's, I mean, there's nothing that jumps out at me as awful on that. I've always wanted to have sex with somebody in a, like a military or fireman or policeman. But the age was, I mean, a little. Angela Dawn. You knew that. No, I don't know that. Yeah, I've always wanted to have like sex with like a cop or a firefighter or like a Air Force person.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
Yeah, maybe. Do you want handcuffs involved? No handcuffs, but I'm not ruling it out. Even if I really liked him and it was like fun, I mean, I might.
I've Had It
The Red Flag List
That just tells me it's cheap. I'm out. No, no, no, no. What about the e-scooter? Didn't you say in an episode you'd had it with those? I'm sure I have because they're just everywhere, like in big cities.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You know, my mother has a big vocabulary. Yes, she does. And she's a voracious reader. And so there's a word for you, voracious. And so I think it's good to – I only know one language. And I think that, you know, it's good to use all of it. So I appreciate the compliment.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I love that. You know? We've got a blue dot and a red state. Pumps always gets all the compliments. So this is a real Christmas miracle, to say the least. That, you know, I'm always the asshole and the one that, you know, I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop. So this is truly a Christmas miracle, Kylie. I love that so much. That I received two compliments. That's very, very, very sweet.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I mean, it's just, I mean... Pumps is quitting Stanley and two of our listeners like me. Two. In a row. Two consecutive likes. That's unbelievable. It's a banner day. Yeah. I'm thrilled. Listen, I'm not going to let these compliments make me soft, you guys.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You're the vocabulary lady. This is the type of gay man that I can just cuddle up and let their hateful rhetoric just lull and rock me to a place of serenity and peace. This is the type of gay man that when I was probably from the age of 19 to around 25, that I would go out to the gay bars and we would cut a rug. I mean, I would get my scissors out.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I get it. I get every ounce of that to the core of my being. We need to adopt. We shouldn't shop. However, I really do like these purebred French bulldogs. And so, you know, I... I understand his dilemma. I understand that his dog is probably more photogenic, more affable, more likable, all of the things. So how do you tell your lover, partner, that his dog sucks?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I mean, that's a difficult thing. I would probably eventually break. And just say, I kind of like my dog more than I like your dog. And I think I would probably just have to own that. Like this is my dog.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Here's what I have to say about driving with you, and I hate it. When you drive, you text, and I think it is so reckless. I don't even realize I'm doing it. It drives me crazy. You're hovered over the center line, and I'm always like, Pumps, put your phone down. Yeah, my kids do too. I do not text when I drive. I just don't. I don't look at my phone when I'm at stoplights. I'm a part-time.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
That's a really good selfless way to handle it from the outside, but inside you're being selfish. I don't know that I could. I could do the apple slices, you know, like schlepping the dog around for the grooming and all of that. I don't know. I don't know if I have all of that in me.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I think that I would just probably break down and just say, I'm really trying to work on loving your dog as much as I love my dog. Because when you're around me and my dogs, the relationship is so...
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
aspirational you know and inspirational when you see me with tubby when you see me with cha-cha you immediately know like god they have a great relationship yeah like she's a great pet owner i don't know that i could feign that with like if josh had some mutt i'd be sweet to the dog because i'm not a total sociopath i'd be kind and it'd be sweet but it would be very difficult for me to manufacture the organic relationship that i have with tubby and cha-cha with another dog
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Here's the thing. I, uh, you know, I still got that cat. Look how nice short of the cat. I know. So here's the deal. Kidsky, um, listener. I mean, you know, the problems I've had with this cat, she's probably 16 or 17 years old now. Um, she had asthma at one point. I had this kitty inhaler. She had diabetes. Um, she used to have a really, you know, great cat life.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And then it's like, she's been aging the last 10 years and it's like, she's been 90 for 10 years, the cat. And, um, you know, I basically have just told the kids, like, I really don't like this cat anymore. I'm going to be good to her. I'm going to take care of her, but she's never been that great of a pet. Right. Like I have been a much better pet owner to her than she's been a pet to me.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Sometimes with pets, you get a good one. Right. And sometimes you get a bad one. And the situation with Kitsky is that she's never really been that great of a pet. When she was younger, it was all about her life on her terms, which is going around the neighborhood, doing all the stuff that she wanted to do.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And then when she decided she didn't want to do that anymore because of the diabetes and she gained weight and all of this stuff, then she wanted to come home and then she wants to hang out. And I pet her and stuff, but then she gets mad because I'm holding one of the dogs and she bats at the dogs. And I just... I've just told the boys always give me a hard time.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Like, you don't like the cat very much. I'm like, here's the deal. I really don't. I really don't. I'm good to her. I pet her. I tell her she's pretty. You know, we have a lot of heart to hearts, me and Kitsky, but she's just not been that great of a pet.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I do need to make that rule. I just don't do it. Because I'm so tired of being beholden to my phone all the time. When I'm in my car, it's a luxury to not have to look at it. It is a total luxury. And I just am like, I'm not looking at my phone while I'm in here. Yeah, I need to do that. But how about that? Get off your phone, you fucking bitch. I don't like him calling you a fucking bitch.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Sometimes you just have pets that aren't that great, but you still have to be humane and be a great pet owner, even though that pet doesn't keep up their end of the bargain. Well, we all know what happened when I didn't like my pet.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
See, I wouldn't do that to Kitsky. You've been wanting me to put Kitsky down for like three years.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
She wants me to kill my cat. She has a pad that is put down. Right. She doesn't pee like all over the house. She just sometimes because she has the arthritis now. with asthma and the diabetes and she's 90 basically. So I put a big pet pad down. But that doesn't mean I'm going to kill her. I didn't say kill her. Here's what I would say is don't put the dog down.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I just said, listen, I understood that when I got that cat and I adopted that cat, I adopted and I didn't shop. She was an adopt, don't shop situation. I went up to the Humane Society and got her and she was super sweet from the cage. She like rubbed forward on my fingers. She was a little kitten.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I thought, oh, this cat, because I had another cat before her that lived to be 18, Chico, who was super affectionate. We would headbutt. He slept around my head. He was a great fucking cat, black cat. So she showed all the signs from the cage that she was going to be that type of pet.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Well, when I get her home, I realize she's operated this bait and switch situation and she just wants a home base so she can go out and launch all the activities. She wants to launch tramping around the neighborhood, which was fine. I accommodated her without judgment. I had her fixed. I did all of the things that you're supposed to do, right? All the vaccines.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I made sure she didn't get feline AIDS. I did all this stuff, which is a very common thing, right? Is it? Yeah. Feline AIDS is a huge thing. Cat AIDS. I had no idea. Oh, yeah. It's a big thing. Anyway, I made sure she didn't get it. She was vaccinated for it. All this stuff. So after I've done all of this stuff for 16, 17 years, I can't just I mean, I can't just kill her. I can't.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I don't think she's that great of a pet. I don't think she's kept up her end of the bargain at all. I think it was a bait and switch from the Humane Society. I did the adopt. I didn't shop. I did everything I was supposed to do. And I'm just, I'm going to bitch about this cat until she finally dies or I euthanize her when the vet tells me, you have to call it.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I kind of liked it. But I do like you getting called out for being on your phone while you're driving because it's maddening. Yeah, I know. And it's dangerous. 100% it was me. I think that they're like, I believe this is true, that there are more wrecks caused by texting and driving than drunk and driving. I think I've read that too. I think that's right.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I agree with this caller. Okay. We're about to enter into Trump's America.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
It's slim pickings as to what we can do, what we can talk about. We've been browbeating things. We've, I mean, fuck, today I'm talking about motivational speakers. We're really digging Captain Obvious.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Bottom of the barrel grievances, right? Like, no shit. Who likes a motivational speaker? Some fucking asshole. Yeah. Not us. Not our listeners. Not on this asshole island. Here's what we need. We need to launch in Trump's America your dating life. And it starts with DJ. It starts with DJ. Here's the thing. You can do the share location.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And, you know, there's something, you know, he wants to do something in Central Park, you know, which could be.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
It's an air tag on the collar. Nobody's sticking an air, an apple air tag on a dog, in a dog's body.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
That's all you have to say? What do you want me to say? I don't know. Let's analyze the pros and cons of this.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Maybe more hormones. Maybe you need a pellet on the other side of your ass as well.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Did I tell you that at one point I was reading the comments on Instagram or something and somebody wrote, what do they mean she has a pellet crammed up her ass? And somebody just comments super normal. She has a pellet inside her butt cheek for her hormones that the doctor put in because she's in menopause. And then the person responds, oh, thanks.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And so I just, it's like, I will not drive drunk. I will not text and drive. I will not do it. I just won't. I will not eat green eggs and ham, Sam I am. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with. I've had it with motivational speakers. Agree. That's a great one. I just, I've had it. I just, all of this motivational speaking.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
But it's so true when somebody is a yak mouth when you're trying to watch the exact same thing. For the first time. At the same time. Right. And you have somebody who just is asking an onslaught of stupid questions because that is nothing short of a full-blown assault of stupid questions. It's a stupid question assault. Right. Right. It is. And it goes back to one of our original grievances.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And this is what a motivational speaker would say. A motivational speaker would say, there is no such thing as a stupid question. And I want to go to that motivational speech. I want to stand up in the audience and go, I fucking begged a different person. bullshit.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Have you ever watched a show for the very first time with some dumb fuck that starts asking you what's going to happen next and you're both seeing it for the first time and it's an assault of stupid questions? What about that? Are those stupid or are they smart? Right.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Are you going to go or are you going to die on the hill that those are a series of smart questions, helpful questions that do anything to promote the greater good of anything? There are questions that I would say are straight up homicide inducing. Yeah.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Kylie, I want you to figure out or have Seth, your bitch, figure this out. I want to know who is the first person that ever put on the internet or in a book or wherever, where did it happen that somebody said the phrase, there is no such thing as a stupid question. I want to know the name, birthdate, home address. Blood type, Zodiac sign, social security number, et cetera, of this person.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I want to know who it is. I want to know. That's what we're going to do in Trump's America. We're going to start getting to the source of everything. Right. Who started this shit? Because here we have an international problem. We clearly hear that this moment is from the UK. Right. And now this shit is happening across the Atlantic. You know, people died in the Atlantic.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Look at what happened to the Titanic. Right. Yeah. And this whole stupid question thing, it needs to be responded to while she's sitting there watching that show with whomever it is she's watching. She needs to look and say, quit asking me stupid questions, you dumb fuck. You stupid little twat. That's right. Twat. You twat. Twat. Twat. You stupid twat.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And if you notice the people that you know that listen to a lot of motivational speaking, oftentimes are wholly unmotivated people or just completely incompetent all the way around that spend their spare time listening to motivational speaking. And here's the thing. If you're not a motivated person, then just acknowledge it. Like I'm really not super motivated.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Okay, there's so much I've got to dissect here. Number one, did he just go postal?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Okay, listen. I, is he claiming, Kylie, that somebody that he works with fucked a coworker?
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Yeah, I mean... So his friend started fucking his coworker and then started loose lip sinking ships about his life. I do too.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
So it's just completely ruined his, I mean, because he even went as far to say, fuck the U.S. Postal Service. Well, in Trump's America, it might be gone. Well, yeah. I heard Jeff Bezos wanted to take over the Postal Service.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Can we just keep the Postal Service? We can't keep anything. Can we keep the mailman, for God's sake? It's an institution. Yeah. I like it. I like it. Ugh. So this is what's happening in Trump's America. The postal workers are so – they feel so insecure that they're fucking their coworkers' friends, engaging in a bunch of gossip. And I don't know that this would happen in another America.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I agree. I mean, it would just be smooth sailing. I agree. I don't think that, what were they, Peter and Slava? I don't think Peter and Slava would be fucking had there been a Kamala Harris victory.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I agree. Well, it's just nice to have everybody with us this holiday season for holiday cheer, Merry Christmas. Got to band together. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Listen up, patriots, gaitriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Well, here's my problem with it. So you have speeches that can really be amazing. And I'm talking about like Martin Luther King, I Have a Dream. You have John F. Kennedy had multiple fantastic speeches. Those are ones that you go to. Those are like these were incredible speeches that defined a moment. And all these motivational speakers are just posers.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
It is a multi-level marketing pyramid scheme where they think they can get on a stage with a podium. and motivate people to go out and completely change their lives. Most of the time when this happens, it's some sort of cult leader. That's how it starts. That's how it starts. Yeah.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And then another thing, and this kind of is adjacent to that, is the people that I know that are all about like motivational speakers and they follow all of the inspirational quote accounts on social media, there's also very adjacent to it is a self-help book. Right. Stacks and stacks and stacks of self-help books. And I just think, is all of this stuff like... accepting your character defects.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Like this speech is going to motivate me and I'm going to go out and crush it and I'm going to make millions of dollars. Or this book is going to fix me and I'm not going to hurt anymore. Now, again, it's kind of a slippery slope because I totally see that in learning about yourself through a self-help book. You can learn about yourself. But when you start buying your 10th, 11th, and 12th one...
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I think there's a problem. That's all I'm saying. When you've gone to like maybe your 10th motivational speaker convention, I think there's a problem. Right. You might be avoiding.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
When you're following another person like on Instagram that is a self-appointed therapist, some relationship guru that thinks they know all about all this shit and you follow about seven or eight of these accounts, maybe you're not dateable.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Well, it's a one-size-fits-all thing. That's what I'm saying. That doesn't work. I mean, one motivational speech for one person might be effective, but
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
But to apply that to the general population is such bullshit because somebody who's really shy, not gregarious at all, incredibly introverted, the motivational speech for them could be something entirely different as to how they could, you know, perceive or achieve what would be considered successful or how they could achieve serenity would be a completely different path than two narcissistic assholes like you and me that tried to find serenity through these microphones.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Josh got a call similar to that. We were in the car. And of course, he's an attorney as well. And it was something, his was either jury duty or something. So he started lighting them up just like you did. And of course, they hung up on him. But think about all the poor people that...
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is growing. Hashtag growing. Evolving. Hashtag evolving. Hashtag learning.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Totally. middle-aged big girl that's right listener this may come as a total shock to you but pumps and i have not always been this pulled together and rock solid in fact we used to be rather screwed up when you say pumps i would say damn near psychotic totally and we have written a cell phone expose one could even say it's a manifesto
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay, speaking of being a sore winner, I would like to take a very smug victory lap right now.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
One, two, three. Just go ahead and do it. There you go. Welcome, patriots, gay-triots, and they-triots. Welcome to the rebellion where we have a blue-winged hawk or something else. We have problems with our short-term memory. I can't remember what the hell that bird's name is. But it's a great bird. It's a great bird. Everybody should come. Everybody likes the bird. Everybody likes the bird.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I would like to read a headline to all of you that says, Stanley recalls 2.6 million mugs. Wow. Here's what's affected. According to the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission, Stanley is recalling about 2.6 million switchback and trigger action travel mugs due to a burn hazard.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
So far, there have been 91 reports worldwide of lids detaching, resulting in 38 burns with 11 needing medical attention. Anyone with these travel mugs should immediately stop using them and contact Stanley right for a free replacement lid. And what I have to say about this is this is something that is continuing to happen and happen again. Number one, I knew that these mugs were killers.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
You have been sounding the alarm. I have been sounding the alarm for a very long time. So here we have 38 burns, 91 incidents, 11 people that needed medical attention. This is before you even get to the slippery slope That leads you to a Trump rally or an insurrection at the Capitol. This is just this is child's play compared to the cult like tendencies that these cops can push people down.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And so what I have to say about this is, number one, I knew there were killers. Number two, I've also identified that these cups have lead in them. Lead is known to cause all sorts of problems to the human body. And I think this is just the first little domino to fall.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I just think all of it's a slippery slope. And I think it's good that you're getting away from this cup. And I just want it noted that... I just think there is a whole world where a lot of things live together. And I noticed it at one of my son's recent basketball games.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And I sit kind of in the back next to Josh and observe not only the game but the people around me. And I noticed that there was a particular type of female that walks in. And they all have kind of a few things in common. We have a top knot headband. Yeah. Okay. We have a Stanley cup. Okay. And then we have kind of this hair flick thing. And I just, I just, I don't know.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I just, I wonder about the psychology of all of it. Like when you see that top knot headband and you see that kind of unicorn bone on the top of it, a little horn. Do you think, yeah, I look like a little horny toad right now? And this looks great. And I think I'm going to follow it up with a gigantic oversized cup with lead in it and poison myself and everybody around me.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
And then my children are going to be raised in some orphanage because I'm too goddamn selfish to put my cup down and take this fucking horny frog headband off my head. But I don't say anything because it's not my business. You're such a big person. I wait until I have my microphone in front of me to just completely dissect it. But I just think this is interesting.
I've Had It
Middle-Aged Big Girl
I think that this is the first domino to fall. This whole Stanley thing is not going to end well. I've called it. We have everything recorded. We can release all the tapes. I know it's all coming. And I would also like to congratulate the star of our show for not continuing her Stanley Cup use, whether it's for vanity reasons or for whatever it is. I don't care.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, and there's more diversity. It's not so white. That's one thing people don't understand about living in a state like Oklahoma. Everyone – I mean, there's no foreign languages. Like, you go on the streets of New York and you hear 50 languages in two blocks. Everybody speaks English. More white people – I mean, you can't throw a stone and not find a white – it's just –
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, that's part of it. But I have to tell you this story. Okay. You're going to die. Okay. So we go to dinner with all the parents from Emily's friends. And halfway through the dinner, Emily grabs me by the leg and she looks at me and she goes... Everyone at this table is on suicide watch because you will not quit talking about the dog.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And then you can... Do I put them in my pants? Is that the deal?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Well, I stopped and got donuts last weekend and I didn't... Did you get a hard-on? I didn't. You didn't get a hard-on? I didn't feel any blood flow to the vagine or anything.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I think that's really sweet. Yeah, I do too. And that they stay friends for 15 years. I think that's all good. Yeah. And they help each other find their mate. They help each other. You know, that's missing in a lot of men is a lot of men don't have any friends. That's why they're isolated. You know what I mean? Like you go around and you it's no wonder all these men are so lonely.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I realized all I was doing was talking about my French bulldog. And even after she told me, I knew she was right. I knew everybody was on suicide watch. I knew they all wanted me to shut the fuck up. I couldn't. I just kept talking about how cute he was. I was passing my phone around. But, yeah, I mean, halfway through the dinner, she's like, stop.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, it just drives me bananas. Well, it just goes to, in my opinion, it goes to these men are used to always getting the best picks, the best jobs, without being the best candidate or the most qualified. And now there is some competition there. And instead of looking inward. And they're having a meltdown. Right. Instead of saying, you know, what can I do better?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
How can I be a better leader, a better student, a better mate? They're saying, well, it's women's fault. It's DEI's fault. It's just somebody else's fault.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, no, I completely agree. And it just would make sense if you're under a bunch of stress, emotional, mental stress, it affects you physically. So it makes sense. It would affect it biologically.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, I'm a big hugger. I'll admit it, but I'm not a first time hugger. I have to have an affection for you. Right. To hug you. And it was funny because the other day I ran into a guy I went to law school with that I probably have not seen in 25 years. Right. And but I have a deep affection for him. Like we were good friends in law school. I really liked him.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I see him and he reaches out for a handshake and I just go in for a big hug because I had such an affection for him. But yeah, I don't hug on the first meeting.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. Somebody that you would never think you were going to hug or put your body up against theirs. I'll tell you what I wish we did in the United States of America, among many other things. Since I was homesick for two days, I was watching a lot of British TV. And I just love the two kisses.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, it would be. Equality even. Yeah. I'm going to hate to get too far out on the limb.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
No, I completely, completely agree. And I've often thought about Mike Johnson's district, like I know 40% on Medicaid, that does not surprise me. How many of them because of what he's doing, will not vote for him next time. You know, I just wonder, will it ever penetrate that far? Or will he go in and say, oh, well, that's Biden's politics that cut Medicare.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Because you spotted it at seventh grade. Like he's the con man up there with the mink coat and the Rolls Royce. But when you're indoctrinated, you just think, oh, that's how it is. Yeah.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Okay, I'll tell you what my grievance is. I have had it with small talk. There is nothing more miserable than having to make small talk with people that you don't know, that don't care about what you're saying. You don't care what you're saying. It is so miserable. Like when I walked into a place Friday night for parents weekend and there were like 60 people. And I just was like, I can't do it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Okay, one thing, Haley, since you are in Mike Johnson's district, I want you to go undercover and just put your feelers out. I find it impossible to believe, and this could just be my own cynicism, my own world experience, getting away. making my mind run crazy, but I've got to think there are rumors of Mike Johnson being gay.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And I've, and I have, I know nothing about his wife, but I've read enough to know, I think she's a lesbian. So Haley, I want you to just kind of put your feelers out and see if you can find that.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Mike's wife, go for it. Do whatever makes you happy. Don't be a dick to other people. That's why I draw the line. Don't you remember that couple? She was, we covered it, Bridgette. Bridget from the Moms of Liberty.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Right. Inadequacy out the gazoo. I mean, going back to the gold in the Oval Office, if that doesn't scream insecurity, I don't know what.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. Harrison. But something which is an appropriate name. Serena Wilson just filthed him. Dirty.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah, the keyboard courage. And I'm kind of guilty of this. Like Jennifer has to talk me off the ledge sometimes that I don't understand. Like people that vote for Trump, like I can't wrap my head around it because I used to be in the evangelical Republican world. And so I think when you be, you know, I look back and I think, how could I ever be like that?
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And it just makes no sense, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it's so hard for me to wrap my head around it. And Jennifer's always like, you're a dipshit. You used to do this. Like, you're never going to change anybody's mind. And I'm just like, oh, yeah. I mean, I think people fundamentally forget that nobody changes their mind unless they want to, unless they do the work.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
You can't just change somebody's mind like... Hey, you know, Trump's a convicted felon. That should give you pause. Like that's not going to change anybody's mind. It's just not.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. You hate smoke worse than anything. Yes. That's what you are about like intellectual enlightenment.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
It never occurred to me not to. I mean, when you're indoctrinated like that, you don't ever take the next step.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Yeah. I do think that's one thing that people younger than us, I'm going to say millennials, Gen Z, they're missing the component of when you get your ass chewed and you're criticized, typically you do better. Yes. You try harder. Yes. Yes. So all this toxic, you're the best. You're so special. You're so unique. Your mommy loves you. Let's get five pictures. That doesn't help them evolve. Right.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Although I don't know. Okay. But to be fair, when you are in a situation where you think you're better than everybody else and that other people's problems couldn't possibly affect you because you're so special and I don't think that until something happens to where you realize, oh, I'm really not special. Oh, bad things can happen to me. You lack such an awareness.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I don't think you know that you're not happy. Right. The lack of empathy, you don't realize you don't have it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
We did. Because if you weren't laughing in our world in those days, you were fucking in the fetal position crying. Which is a perfect segue into buy our book. We didn't even- Okay.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But the whole story of life is you get not down, you get up again.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Make America great again while we sit and wait for an air traffic controller. Can't do it.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Well, here's the thing. When I heard Trump had a gold toilet, this was years and years and years ago before he was in politics, I thought, this motherfucker's insecure. Like, nobody has a gold toilet. And then you see all the pictures from, like, his apartment and Trump Tower and Mar-a-Lago, and you think... This is like 1980s, looks like shit.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Like you said, trying to be French chic, but it just looks cheap. When we saw the bathroom where he kept all the nuclear secrets, it just looked cheap. I mean, I look at what he's done in the Oval Office and I think, here's the problem. Like when you and I met, the first thing you said to me was, you have terrible taste. And that allowed me to...
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
give seed all control and you picked it out and I loved it. Donald Trump is a victim of somebody saying, oh my God, all this gold looks so good. You have great taste. Instead of somebody checking him and making him better, or perhaps saying, let's hire somebody that does this and you get hands off, it looks exactly like I expect the inside of his brain to look.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Just a bunch of trashy knickknacks that have absolutely no charm. It's just, it's so gross.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I think I stayed for five minutes, talked to three people that I knew and left because I'm like, small talk just makes me insane. I just want to go insane when I think I have to small talk.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
When you assume it makes an ass out of me and you. I just want to say this one thing. When you look at Donald Trump, I mean, head to toe, just aesthetically, you've got the worst hair I've ever seen. The worst makeup. Like, I still don't understand why he does not have a professional makeup artist do his makeup. It is so terrible. His suits are too big. He has shoulder pads.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
His ties go past his dick. His hand... Shoe lifts. Shoe lifts. He leans over like the... He is a disaster aesthetically, top to bottom.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
And when he wears his golf pants, they're up like under his boobs, like empty dumpty.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
No, I mean, that would make more sense. That would be a side benefit to torture you. I don't realize I'm doing it. It overwhelms me when I go into a room and there's like... 50 people that I'm kind of supposed to know, that our kids are doing the same thing, but I don't know. And I just, I start panicking. I'm just like, I don't want to do this.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
We're just so fun. I'm Angie. The HBIC had beaver in charge. We've adopted the beaver. Because the beaver, don't fuck with the beaver.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
But I just, I sincerely want to stick with the beaver. Instead of Angie Pump Sullivan, I want it to be Angie Beaver Sullivan. Angie B. Sullivan, attorney at law. ABS, America's Beaver Sullivan.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
I mean, you don't get to the top of the DEI podcast world with four stars.
I've Had It
America’s Top DEI Podcast
Didn't you run to your closet and you actually found a pair of those Celine jeans? Yeah, I own a pair of those jeans. Yeah, I saw something come across Instagram that's like, you know, after the Super Bowl, all the women went and searched their closet for the Celine pants. And I was like, I know who found them.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
No, it's usually mutual. Look at that face with that dimple pointing out. I think it's her. I think it's you. I think it's you.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
And it always makes me like, kind of feel really good inside. Like a real, like, that makes me happy. Do you feel cool? Yeah. Does it make you feel a little cool?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
A little relevant? Like a 25-year-old out there thinks that what I have to say is funny because the feedback I get from the 20-somethings at my house is you're the dumbest fucking person on the planet and such a bore. So it's nice to have that. Right. Okay.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yes, we could have Galentines. We could make dinner reservations. I could send you flowers from your Galentine.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
That is a great one. I don't remember us talking about that, but that is so true. It's like, you know, the Donald Trump thing. Well, everybody says. Name me five people. Who is they? I have an idea. This is a great question. What?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Talk about performative coupling. Yeah. Do you remember recently or within the last six months or a year, you know, it's hard to tell, that Mark Zuckerberg in his backyard had like a big statue made of his wife? And there's a picture of her in front of it. And I just thought, somebody's fucking around there. Fortunately, I did not see that.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah. Well, and also I think any – Anything in the morning is just, I mean, like I'm a morning person, but I just, I've noticed being on airplanes and in airports, in lines at airports, early, early in the morning, I just feel like there's just a kind of a little bit of a stronger odor than you would normally smell. So I immediately am picturing like the morning breath on that wallet.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
It's fucking gross. I love the guy said that. Yeah, it's nasty. It's gross. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I want to dive into another thing. I completely agree with them. Who is walking through the neighborhood without their headphones playing their music? That's fucking weird. Don't you think?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I think that the biggest red flag in a marriage, I mean, the biggest bar none is a vow renewal. I think that's number one. I know immediately within five years, you're going to be divorced. It's not even close. Bad shit has happened. I love this list. You're trying to overcompensate, do a do-over. Rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic. And I've done it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
That's another thankless job that has to deal with the general public is a white person. Oh. I mean, this is the worst. We've been it. It's the worst. But this is interesting that Ketter brings this up right now because I just got back from a trip and I'm in the airport and I see these 700-year-old people that have 27 hearing aids, 45 walkers attached to a wheelchair.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I'm guessing like old as fuck. And I just turned to my kids and said, guys, when I am in that state, don't take me anywhere. Don't take me to the airport. Don't take me to a restaurant. Just leave me at home. There's nowhere I want to go in that state of affairs. So that's funny that it happened. We got that voicemail today.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I guess I'm ageist. Yeah. Yeah, I probably am too because I just really – I mean, I think 85, that's a good run.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
increasingly difficult. And I think both toddlers and super old people shouldn't be at restaurants. That's just me and airports. Okay. Up next, we've got Luke.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
It's a trap. What are you doing Saturday is a fucking trap every time. If they have something fun for you to do, they'll say, hey, do you want to go to brunch on Sunday? But I think that's a trap every time.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I mean, not the renewal, but the deck chair. Let's get on to number two. Two is a big, huge production at Valentine's Day.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah. No, I, I do that too. And I do think she has more trust in the general public than I do.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. And I did kind of on the bathroom line thing. I was standing in line for the bathroom and this woman, I was like, same thing, checking the work. I was going to go in and the woman in front of me goes, there's a situation in there. You don't want to go. And I was just like, I appreciate that her so much. She spared me. I just loved it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I don't know if it's like a nervous thing or is it like attention sinking? Like I just, the whistling is just the humming, all of it. Keep your noises to yourself. When you're at home, whistle while you work all day long. I'm all in, but not in public.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah, continue to do this. And I also think, like, this is not the first time he's walked into a place whistling. Where is the person he's buying the baby gift for to say – Don't fucking whistle all the time. Nobody likes it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
See, it's hard for me to judge that because I'm so out of the tattoo sphere. Like I have commitment issues to begin with. So there's no fucking way I could commit to a tattoo forever.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever. You get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I'm putting tattoos at number two. If we put like, you're putting it like on your ass, like Josh's ass only, something like that. Like that's a huge overview.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I mean, we just got done with Christmas and the first of the year. Now it's just that Valentine's candy and plan your Galentine's Day and all that. It's like, can we breathe? Can we just breathe for one second without capitalism just constantly preying upon us to buy shit we don't need? Okay. A couple of things.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
If you just strolled in here with the new Josh Welch tattoo somewhere on your body, I would be like, something is wrong. Let's get to our list. Number one. Number one is the vow renewal. Number two, tattoos. Tattoos. Number three. Situationally. Number three. A big, huge production at Valentine's. Now, I'm not talking about a nice gift. I think everybody should get a nice gift.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
But I'm talking about, you know, we're planning a trip for Valentine's Day. We're going on a, you know, a trip, a party, an overproduction at dinner. Those things tell me, oh, okay, something to go up higher on the list, maybe even higher than the Valentine's Day production.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
The communicating on the internet, like a post, like if I open up my phone on February 14th and there is a three paragraph ode to Josh Welch and how wonderful he is and how much you love him, I immediately know something's up.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
See, I'm just gonna always give the vow renewal the edge because I just- Vow renewal gets the edge.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah, that has been a problem for you for a long time that the algorithm being screwed up because we might talk about it and then your phone picks it up and then it's everywhere. But I have to say, you know what my biggest problem with all that when I see that is? I think it's satire. I mean, I'm just like, this isn't real. Nobody would do this and put it on the internet. Oh, they do. Yeah.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
And then you tell me it's real. And I'm just like, what in the literal fuck is happening? I'm just blown away by it.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
ready one two three patriots patriots patriots do another one see that's what i'm talking about that's 2025 right there 2025 energy pumps what have you had it with okay what i've had it with and it's already fucking started and i know i bitch about this constantly and i'm like a broken record but we're already forcing valentine's day down people's neck i'm
I've Had It
The Breakup List
I cannot disagree with anything you just said. The only thing that I take slight issue with is it is galling to me that these churches that have been grifting and bilking people for years and years and years, who by all accounts, when you look at net worth of Mormons, Catholics, Southern, you know, whatever you want to look at, if it's disclosed, it is an astronomical amount of money.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
So for them to be bitching about not getting new money... Why don't you spend some of the money you've been collecting for the last 50 years? I mean, it just, it goes all through with your tax exempt status.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
Yeah. Lots of Galentine's out there. But I'm single. So that's... Are people reaching out to you to do Galentine? Oh, fuck no. My friends know that. I mean, we're past that. But I just see it on my feed all the time. Like, start planning for Galentine's Day. What are you going to get your Galentine?
I've Had It
The Breakup List
But don't you think there's a lot of gay exceptions in there? The vow renewal, there's no exception to that. I haven't stopped.
I've Had It
The Breakup List
like what do you do with the tattoo then you're stuck with it it goes into your next relationship like you've got a problem now that you you create it's totally self-created problem i've had a cover-up done before from a past relationship whoa whoa whoa whoa so you're a serial you have a tattoo from your first relationship you're like straight out of central casting to prove our point
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Exactly. Exactly. But, you know, I do. I have started telling people because I get the question so much. Are you dating anyone? When when you say and I've just been saying, no, I'm asexual, like it shuts them down. Like people are just not used to LGBTQIA. Is the A asexual? It is. Okay. Oh my gosh. I'm in the community. I knew it all along. That's why I've been an ally because I'm part of it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Okay, here's my thought on that. I see a lot of these, maybe not limited to TikTok, not just saying it's TikTok, but social media, bloggers, YouTubers, all of that stuff that bring their kids. It's all about their kids and doing what they're doing for their kids. I'm thinking of Ruby Frankie as an example. And the parents get all the money and the kids are doing all the work.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So in general, I think if the parents are making money off of the social media posts with the kids, it should go in a trust for them. The egg thing, I would have have to have seen it depending on how aggressive it was. But if the woman is making money off of doing something to her kid, I do believe the child should get a stake in it if she's making money because the kid is involved.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Just like child actors, you pay them in a trust for when they become an adult. I'd have to see how aggressive the egg cracking thing is.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I completely agree because when my kids – last night we were watching a movie all on the couch. And if somebody got up and we were done with the movie and somebody got up and hugged me, Ollie came running over and wanted to get right in the middle of it. He did not want – he wanted the attention. He didn't want me to get the attention. Same with Blaze.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
When I love on Blaze, he comes over and starts jumping on Blaze to get attention away from Blaze. Yeah. But there's no doubt my Oliver is the single most rotten dog in the history of dogs. He is very spoiled. And it's on me. I know I'm the problem.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Swing and hit. Here's my question. Why don't these people want to take the opportunity? I mean, how did this guy know I wasn't going to just ram my car door into his and give him a door ding? Obviously, I'm not going to because I'm not a complete dick. But why would anybody want to sit next to somebody they don't know when they don't have to? It's crazy to me.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
This thing is amazing. It really is. Why I can't figure it out, because every time I'm like, I asked ChatGPT and I'll send it to you and you're like, you're not even on the right app. I've signed up for like three ChatGPT apps, but I don't know which one's right.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
that's fantastic. I mean, that's super duper helpful, especially because like if your friend or your therapist isn't around and you're like ruminating in your head, that's a great idea.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I would do that. I mean, every day of the week. 12 times out of 10. Let me tell you what I did back in the day, kind of similar to this. So I was a senior in college. So by that point, you just don't give a fuck at all. There was a big party I wanted to go to, but I hadn't written my essay yet. So back in that day, not every place had a fax. I didn't have a fax where I lived.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
So there was a book that you could buy that had different topics of different essays that other people had written. So I found the topic that I was supposed to be writing my essay about. I called this number. It was someone in California. And they faxed me. So I went to like a Kinko's or whatever it was back in the day. They faxed the paper, the essay to me. I took it, put my name on it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Passed college and went to the party. So there's no question I'd be all over ChatGP.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Are they better at it? I would like to say no, but I just don't see how it doesn't dilute that area. Like, you know, playwright, stage right. Yeah. I mean, I just don't know how it doesn't dilute the... human population doing it. And that's really sad because we need creative people now more than ever.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah. I mean, I think I'd be hard-pressed to find a super liberal guy around here, like single – Not married, since that seems to be my type. You know, that whole thing. Wait, what's your type? I said not married. Since my last foray ended up being married, unbeknownst to me. So I'm saying, you know, all the qualifications that I would need, I feel like it'd be hard-pressed to find them.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Absolutely. And you're 100% right because I see people that I think, wait, aren't they supposed to be younger? Yeah. And I think in my head, like, they're 25 years old. But I'm looking at them. I'm like, there's no way. And it's always a lot of injections, which I probably would have gotten injections when I was younger, but they didn't have them. And I think now it's just kind of like Josh said.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
It's like a trend. It's like wearing a certain lipstick or lip gloss. That's just what you do. But... I think it's like a when's the baby due to somebody that's not pregnant. When you ask somebody how old am I, guess how old I am, you are just opening yourself up to be either humiliated or flattered. I always go with flattered. Like I know they're a lot older than I think they are, but I go up.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
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I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
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I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
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I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
That's true. And that was my New Year's resolution is I'm going to stop having expectations, period. Because expectations are what kill you every time. They crush the soul.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Right. And look both ways. Don't run out in front of a moving car. You're never going to be faster. And that happens in parking lots all the time. And for my parking place, for my gym versus where I go in, you have to cross the street. I make sure there are no cars because I am not going to hold a car up while I cross the street. And I see people going in and out of there all the time. The
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
You are the walker. You're the pedestrian. The cars are the ones that could kill you. Just pay attention. It's not that hard. Hate it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
people. Yeah. And I'll just say no one disappointed me more in the last election than white women in my demographic, not voting for their daughters, not voting for rights for everybody. I mean, mothers voting against children, anybody's child. I mean, I just I have such a huge problem with that demographic. So I feel you.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah, here's the thing. When you add the Stanley Cup, putting two bottles in during a meeting, she likes RFK. I hate to tell you, Drew. I think she might be a secret MAGA. I don't think it's secret.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Right. Notice that affect. Yes. It's an affect. I see it at the gym. Kind of the weight lifting, like I've got a great body because I'm an alpha male. don't fuck with me kind of thing. I've seen it. You're right. It's on the rise. Yeah.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Well, my son's gotten super into working out and he's a creatine person, too. It's just it's ridiculous.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
No, I'm kidding. I did talk to Josh about his post. I said, Josh, here's the thing. I would tell you I'm really proud of you for how much you've built up your body that you can do what you posted on Instagram. But I can't because you posted it on Instagram. He goes, you know, Jennifer called it thirst trapping. I go, because that's what it was. And he goes, but I just feel the best I've ever felt.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
And I was like, well, then why don't you send it in a group photo chat? Like send it to people that you love and care about. Okay, so let's talk about that.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
But there's also a part of me that wants to ridicule him and I don't know what's wrong with me. No. Here's the thing. Post it all day long because I love to give you shit about it. Yeah. But I agree with him. If you feel great about your workout and you want to post it. If you feel great about your 48-year-old body, post it.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Well, I am the greatest legal mind and the head beaver in charge.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Okay, I'll tell you exactly what I was thinking. The hole was capitalized, so I thought it was some kind of vagina reference that I wasn't understanding. I thought it was sex. I wasn't getting the hole because the H was capitalized. That's what happened. I knew you'd say, oh, well, she just thinks about sex all the time. But that's what I thought.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I thought we were having some vaginal joke that I was not in on. That's what I thought.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
I thought it was some twisted, because it said most outrageous chat GPT. So I assumed sex was somehow involved.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Pumps tell them we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I hate you so much.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
On any of your accounts? No, I have not noticed any OnlyFan advertisements invading my feed. That's bananas.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
No, I completely agree. If you were following a bra site or a swimsuit site, I can see how they have OnlyFans. At least that would be mildly related. But curb your enthusiasm and OnlyFans. There is just no joiner.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
What I've had it with is when you are parking your car and you walk out to the parking lot and there's 1,000 spaces available and and someone parks right next to you. This happened to me yesterday. The guy was right on the yellow line. I was in the middle of my spot, but I had to shimmy into my car to open the door, and there were at least 50 parking places around us.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Are you trying to find OnlyFans? No, but I mean, I'm sure if I sat down right now and wanted to find an OnlyFans model on. I don't think it'd be hard. Oh, you think I could even I could.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
The only spot that was taken was the one next to me that he was right on the line. I was like, that's fucking bullshit. I
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
If she is, she doesn't know it. But I've heard that, too, from my lesbian friends that they thought they were asexual because when they've asked me about it, I'm like, I think I'm just asexual. And they're like, oh, my gosh, that's what I thought until I had sex with a woman.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
That's a picture I can't get out of my head. Anyway, so Whitney, I thought that was interesting. I mean, it's definitely worth thinking about now that you, I mean, I've heard that a lot. I think you could just do wonders for the pod. If I just had a romp. Yes, and you could report it to us. I mean, look. 40,000 days without sex.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Yeah, what if, I mean, okay, I'll give it some thought. You know, my whole thing is how does this all happen? You know, like you and Kylie say I could get laid at lunch if I tried. And I'm just like, conceptually, I don't know how that happens. So like having an affair with a lesbian, how does that all happen?
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
Well, see, see, that's what takes me out of the game is the socializing.
I've Had It
Red, White, and Screwed
There's gay ones. It doesn't matter. Gay, straight, bi, menage, whatever you want to do on a dating app, I'm out. I'm not. That's just, I can't do that.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And this one says, after analyzing the birthdays of 10 million married couples in England, researchers found no evidence of attraction or compatibility based on astrological signs.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I've had it with the astrological sign bullshit. I find it now an affront to my intelligence when somebody says... What sign are you? Oh, I knew it. Yeah. I knew you were a Leo. You know what I'm going to start doing when somebody asks me what sign I am? I'm going to start lying and saying I'm an Aquarius. I guarantee you I'll get the exact same results as I would if I told them my normal.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
We don't buy into that. The problem with what you just said, our plan, our scheme that we just hatched, we're airing it, which is just a prime example of how incompetent and stupid we are, which goes back to my had it. I've had it with stupid people, which means I've had it with us. All right. I think we've had enough of the news. Kylie, what do you have in store for us today?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
You know, I agree with her, but I also really want to see Meat Curtain Meemaw Legal take this same type of marketing approach.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Fuck it. We're going to be loud. I'm not going to be sad anymore. I'm not going to pre-surrender to this stuff. Let's just keep ripping it, right?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And I'm just here to say I support it. Yes, that's exactly what we do. Yeah. In Trump's America, we launch meat curtain, meemaw, legal eagle law. word you're coming out of vagina and then you say having a problem getting an abortion call me
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Okay. No, no, no. Here's what we do. We have you coming out of a vagina and an eagle coming out of an egg.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I really think in Trump's America, there's going to be people that are denied abortion care. They're going to be denied birth control. This is your angle right here. And especially branding it, fantastic.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
from the source of all of these things straight from the vagina it works and it can be like straight from the vagina's lips meat curtain meemaw legal i i'm telling you straight from the meat curtains straight from your abortion care attorney that's right i can do all kinds of any reproductive freedom ivf i can just be the vagina girl The meat curtain girl. The meat curtain girl. All right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, I'm telling you, this is what America needs. Yeah. The eagle coming out of the egg. You coming out of the vagina. We have merch. Going crazy.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I think it's a video wall, an LED type. You know what? What's that thing in Vegas called? The sphere. That.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Kind of like Khaleesi Game of Thrones meets Trolls. crashy legal commercial meets our brand of I've had it. You could come up kind of like the Statue of Liberty, but you're holding like an eagle in one hand and like birth control pills in the other. You know, I just I think there's so much. And then and then there could be like all of these Trumpers, like all this fighting. What is it?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
UFC fighting or boxing? Yeah. Then we can make an AI video of you beating up like Mike Johnson, Ted Cruz, but kind of like sexually charged beat up.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yeah. Like they're all whipped and bound. And yeah, I like it. This just gets better. Yeah. Yeah. See, listener, there's hope. There is hope.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, this is like this is a problem all across the country. And, you know, it's it's different for me. when people vote for Trump. It's different than a vote for like a McCain or Nikki Haley or whatever. This is like, I mean, there's a cruelty to it. There is a distinct appetite for injuring and picking on people. And they say, oh, the price of bread and all that. That's just cover.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
They use that as cover so they don't have to say, listen, at the end of the day, I'm a big Bible thumper and you're going to hell. I would imagine if you're a gay person going home to your family that voted against your rights and
I've Had It
We Are So Back
um is really disturbing especially after you see that trump appointed uh matt gates who called gay people despicable and that should be disqualifying that type of language should be disqualifying but they all like it and so i don't know i don't know how you get through that i i don't know i mean i I fortunately don't have that problem.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
My parents are really open-minded and my friends are, but I think Pumps has that problem.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
really leaning towards the cat litter dish that is excellent is excellent and I kind of like the stopping of the toilet because you can't really prove that was on purpose yeah I like all that too but let me ask you this does it like because I don't have this with my parents and you have it with your parents and I think that there's this is a big thing going across America right now
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Do you feel because of this disparity, moral disparity, do you feel some distance or like maybe they don't really know the authentic you, that there's a superficial nature and role that each person is playing that's superficial when you go to these things that you can't really share? You were devastated. You were inconsolable for five, seven days, and you can't tell your parents about that.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
caller I think that you know when Think about being around a Trumper like being around an alcoholic. And they say when you're around somebody that's active in their addiction, exactly what Pumps just said. You talk about news, weather, sports. So you can't talk about news, right? So you just go to weather and sports. That's it.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And you're just going to have to accept the way Pumps has, there is a major component of superficiality in this relationship. and I'm gonna go, I'm gonna play my role, I'm not gonna be provocative, and I'm gonna leave. Now, there are some of you that are listening that are probably like, fuck that, that is something I'm not going to do. We have a friend. And he messaged Pumps and me.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And his dad was just a total dick to him via text message and was basically like, gay people aren't the only people that need rights. This man is gay and they have a new baby. They're married. They're gay married and they have a baby. Darling little baby girl. And I could see how much it hurt him.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
and minimizing your beliefs and you know you're on the right side of history, you know, as sad as it is, I mean, that's the result of Trumpism. And I know that our friend, you know, he's really sad about this, but he has a wonderful loving husband, a beautiful little girl, and support of millions of people that think it's bullshit the way MAGA marginalizes marginalized people.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yeah. So I think there's two roads that you can go down, caller. You can go down... if these people are not abusive towards you outwardly, you can go scratch out news, weather sports, limited time, 45 minutes an hour, and then hit the road.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
But if they are abusive and dismissive and passive aggressive about, you know, human rights, civil rights and things, then I say you just have to draw a line and not subject yourself to that kind of abuse. I agree. And if they're like MAGA thumpers just flexing the whole time, fuck that. Don't be around that. That's insanity. And then you're just being around toxic, stupid people.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
As I pointed out in my hat it where they write, congratulations, President Trump, number 45, number 46, number 47. Right. Just like, bravo, America. Great job. Yes, let's go ahead and KO the Department of Education while we're at it. That's definitely what we need to get rid of the most. Dipshits.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Yeah. I really am trying to talk to people less. Right. I'm trying to have less people in my life. I'm trying to limit interactions. And now this drives me insane. In my interior design career, I'll go to job sites and basically they bake the cake. I put the icing on it. They want to talk to me. About the cake baking portion of the construction of the house. I'm not an expertise in that field.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Okay. I'm with this guy on this. I agree. And here's what I think. I think the gays need to expand the gay agenda and it needs to expand to include outing all of these MAGA slash married slash heterosexual, and I say in quotes, heterosexual people that are on these dating apps that have a little pretty wife and and little pretty kids, and then, like he said, are gay. Right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
They're clearly gay, and they won't, they don't, you know, put their face out there because the gay agenda has been remiss in dealing with this.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Do you remember that guy? He was some evangelical preacher who was big anti-gay and it was in Colorado, I think. And it comes out that he's, you know, having all this gay sex, sniffing poppers all the time. And here's the thing. I don't give a shit about sniffing poppers and gay sex. Correct. It's not my business. Right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
What I care about is exactly what our caller is talking about, which are these men that try to say, oh, I'm not gay. Right. And this guy's like, no, you are. You're doing the exact same thing that I am, which you're doing gay stuff on a gay website. You might not be out. You might be the biggest lying liar in the heterosexual world, but you're gay.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And so I just think that women need to be super choosy and not sleep with MAGA men. And I think gay men need to quit sleeping with MAGA men.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
No, it's, I know exactly what he's talking about because when I was younger, I remember being like when these gay dating apps came out, I was at a gay friend's house for dinner and there was like 10 gay men in me and I'm like, I want to see this app, open it. I want to look.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And so I'm looking through and a lot of people are photographed from like the neck down and it kind of gets their torso like right to their, you know, pubic hairline or whatever. And I'm like, why, why don't they show their face? I'm like, oh, they're probably quote unquote straight. Got it.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And so when you see like the Moses Mikes, the Josh Hollies, the Ted Cruz's, all these people that do all this anti-gay stuff, I think either number one, they could be gay or number two, they might have watched porn and gotten more excited about a penis and
I've Had It
We Are So Back
than they did about the woman that maybe bisexuality turn on might be more widespread than what we think in this binary world where you're either hetero or homo. I think that a lot of men have probably watched porn and gotten excited about the man's role in the porn. And then they're like, oh, shit, I'm a pussy. That's so gay, blah, blah. So then you see all this outward bash
I've Had It
We Are So Back
at gay men when really the whole porn or whatever they're watching was erotic and a total turner and they can't say, yeah, the guys were all in that kind of even turned me on. Right. Okay. That explains it. And so they do. There's that's why there's this whole, you know, psycho.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
anti-gay world because men can't just admit that like we can admit women can say a woman can walk in like oh my god she's right gorgeous what a figure what a body rarely do men say Oh, my God, man, that guy is so good looking because they feel like they would be gay if they said that. And really, there's nothing gay about it. You're just – so what if it is kind of gay? Right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
So what if us saying that, you know, oh, my God, Kylie walked in. She looks so drop-dead gorgeous today. Maybe we're Les-ing out for the moment. Who cares? Right. Les out for a moment. But, you know, I agree with that caller, these straight – And I say that in quotes, straight men, out them. A hundred percent. Out them. It's Trump's America. Let's just go crazy. Fucking go. Okay.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I know enough to be dangerous, but I just decide, look, I want it to look pretty. You work out all the mechanics of all of this. I don't need a blow by blow of what you're doing. I don't want to see your ass crack. Get your cigarette out of your fucking mouth while you're talking to me. I've had it. Stop it. Quit hiking up your pants. Can you come here? And they hike it up.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, I'm sorry, world. Like, it's just, I can't wrap my head around the embrace of stupidity. Like, okay, speaking of Australia, do you remember that Australian breakdancer that went viral at the Olympics? Yes, at the Olympics, yes. And then she was posted and posted and posted and people liked it. She was a terrible breakdancer. Terrible. This is Trumpism. He is a meme.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
He is that Australian breakdancer that you can't stop watching, that then you end up kind of liking because they're putting your face, you're putting your face. And it depends like if you're way down the political rabbit hole like we are in reading into the policy implications of his ideas, then you're terrified.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
But if you're just trafficking on YouTube and you seem to do the double jerk off dance. Yeah. And over and over, like we saw the Australian break dancer, you think, oh, fuck it. Yeah, I'll vote for him. He's kind of a meme. He's kind of a vibe right now. And that's what he is. We elected the Australian break dancer.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I ended up going, well, you know what? I kind of like her. At least she tried. Right. At least she got out there and did it. And she's proud of herself. I ended up falling for it. And she's not an expert. She's not a breakdancer. She shouldn't have been at the Olympics. It was bullshit from top to bottom. But my feed got lambasted with it.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
over and over and over and over again that I finally even kind of like surrendered to it. And that's what I think happened with Trumpism. Just boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And then finally we were like, oh, fuck it, I'll vote for him. Right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
All right, listener, we have no shows planned right now. We're not traveling. We have a Patreon because we have a cult. We have therapy sessions in that cult. It's called the Blind Leading the Blind cult. And we have a YouTube channel. We have another podcast where we talk about politics. Basically on that podcast, it comes out every day. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
We rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic in 15, 20 minute by digestible episodes. Other than that, we're just clinging on for dear life. Pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Cigarette hanging out of the mouth. It's just, it's enough. It's enough. Enough. I'm with you. I don't want to communicate with people. I want to work smarter, not harder. I want people to do what I hire them to do with little communication as possible involved in that.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, I think maybe what you do in this situation is just start, I mean, just start counter, just start responding. So what kind of clamps are you going to use? Why are you going to use those clamps? Why do you think, do you think you screwed up the lights? Do you think that was part of the installation that made half of them go out? Or do you think that's a light defect?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Do you think the lights were made in China or the United States of America? What do you think about trade policy with the United States and China? What do you think about that? Are you a Trumper? Do you think Trump's going to fix it? Do you think he had something to do with these lights? Or do you think it's the deep state? Right. And then just keep going.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That's what matters. And the bird can change. Right. I might do a ca-caw, ca-caw. We can change that. We can change the bird. We can do whatever we want to do. That's right. We can. Because we're not pre-surrendering. No, absolutely not. What have you had it with?
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I mean, and just say, look, buddy, I got... All day. You want to be a guest on I've Had It podcast? Let's do a whole episode about installing Christmas lights. You win. I'm not surrendering to fascism, but I'm surrendering to you. Let's talk about it all day. I got nothing but time, buddy.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I've had it with stupid people. as evidenced by the example you just gave. But also, I noticed on Instagram that there was a MAGA person celebrating the results of the November 5th election. And they wrote, they had a sign up that said, Congratulations, President Trump, number 45, number 46, number 47. Here's the thing. He's not 46. No, he's not. Quit being stupid. Quit being a dumbass.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
If you want to be a Trumper and just say, I don't give a shit. I'm all about having sex offenders in the cabinet. I'm all about having convicted felons run the country. I'm a nut. I'm completely crazy. I am unhinged. I am a psycho. Don't be a dumbass. All right. Separate the stupidity from the crazy.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I would respect if you just want to say, look, I'm a piece of shit and I vote for pieces of shit and I kind of want pieces of shit to run the country and blow it up because fuck it. I'm only here once. Do it. Own it. Bask in that. Bathe in that. But don't try to hoodwink everybody that he was the 46th president of the United States. You're dealing with smart people here. Right.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
At this podcast, we're smart people. That's not going to happen on our watch. I've just had it with that breathtaking stupidity just for the sake of being stupid. Much to my surprise, it had tens of thousands of likes from other stupid people. If you want to be a crazy Trumper, swing for the fences. Trump hump. Get your Bible. Buy all of his grift shit. Get your sneakers on.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
You know, have Bible studies with the Trump Bible. Be unhinged as psycho. All get out. But don't sit around and be a stupid liar.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Democrats don't say, oh, we can't be so smart. We can't be elitist. I'm going to say you're goddamn right. I'm an elitist. Because look at the people you put in charge. We value expertise. We want experts to be in charge of the departments, not sex offenders. Call us elitist. Call us crazy. But whatever. I mean, you know, I mean, just like Democrats fall into this trap.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
And so I'm saying if valuing expertise and educated people makes me an elitist, then so what? If caring about other people and. Poverty and human rights and racism and all of these things make me woke. Call me woke. Get over it. I mean, like, I'm not just going to sit around and be triggered by what a bunch of dumbasses say about me. Had it. Had it. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
It was a very sweet. Very sweet. Very sweet five-star review, which at this point I'm just going to say we've earned. Okay. Especially the twisted. We get up every day and humiliate ourselves on the airwaves. So I'm going to say we've earned it at this point. But I believe the statement was, they remind me of me and my best friend after a couple of margaritas and nine tequila shots.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
You know what I think they call that? An underhanded compliment to which I say, thank you.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
That's right. We're not going to do this limp dick caw-caw that we did in the week after the election. That was pathetic. We're back. We're back. We are fucking back. If you want our First Amendment, giddy up. Come giddy up, cowboys. Come get it. Until then, we're just going to keep fighting the good fight. There will be no pre-surrender to that bullshit.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I'm glad that you brought this up because I had forgotten. So listener, as you all know, um, You see us every day on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, whatever. And I never really see in the comment sections of that, like, oh, you guys look great today.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
It might be like a cute outfit or too much Botox today, ladies. Or here's the old hags again. The Botox bimbos are back. Stuff like this, right? Which we're fine. Whatever. I don't care. Great for the engagement of the post. When we are live in person, we do this VIP meet and greet. I would say at least twice.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
85% of the people in the line walk up and their jaw hits the floor and they go, wow, you guys are actually really pretty. And it's, it's like, it's not like, oh my God, you guys are so beautiful. It is shock and awe, which leads us back to several things. Number one, we're Horrifically unintelligent. I mean, just like maybe the worst case scenario. OK, so that's an option.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
Option number two is that Kylie and Seth have a hammered dog shit filter that they put on all of these viral videos. Right. Where they're rage baiting all these people out there. And I think they must make our Botox look worse. They make us look worse. Because the shock and awe when people see us in person, it makes me think, wow. We really look like shit on television.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I want to go with that. I want to go with Kylie and Seth are sabotaging sex. The podcast from within. They are the enemy from within.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I have a couple of news stories that I would like to share with the listener. This is in the same vein as I've had it with stupid people. And an estimated 23% 0.2 million Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. That cannot be right. A study found that 48% respondents weren't sure where it came from. And 23.2 million Americans believe chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
A guy comments on this. And I mean, it's just a comment right out of my arsenal, right out of my playbook. He says, definitely MAGA Bible thumpers. He nailed it. That's exactly what I thought. I mean, that's just, just God, you want to call us elitist? Swing for the fences. We're not this fucking dumb. Let's start valuing intelligence. Let's start valuing expertise.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
I'm not an expertise in Christmas light hanging, but I know who to call. Oh, I've got your guy. Yeah. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose.
I've Had It
We Are So Back
One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. All right, another article from the news.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
No, it's, hey, I just want to tell you, you have some eyeliner. Oh, gosh. And I know I got called out a couple episodes ago. Am I getting you? Yeah, below the right eye. Right. It looks a little better. But I just wanted you to know.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Back to the racist liar. That to me is just, that is happening nationwide. Kylie, why don't you tell our listener what happened to your friends, lesbian friends that were recently married?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And this is happening nationwide, and this is the very underreported consequence of Trumpism, is that people are emboldened to be more racist and to be more homophobic and to be more misogynist. And Pumps and I have received a shit ton of horrific responses.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
horrific similar messages and we can no longer we no longer post on twitter we have twitter but we put the locks on it because we need to go vet you know news and whatnot when trump or musk or somebody tweets something but it's a really dangerous space and who benefits from all of this is zuckerberg and musk and it's making a worse society and i just think this if i had billions of dollars
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
and i could leave some form of an imprint i would want it to be a good one right i would want to you know if i wanted capitalism that much i would want my message to be the system is completely broken that i was able to get to this place while somebody who physically works a lot harder than i do doing two jobs raising kids couldn't get health insurance I would want to have a bigger message.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
But instead, Zuckerberg goes on, I guess he went on Rogue, and I can't remember what podcast he went on, and said he was tired of feeling neutered, which I'm like, that's your fucking issue. That's a you problem. Yeah, you're a billionaire and you still feel neutered. I mean, this is a Mark Zuckerberg problem. Then we see Elon Musk running around with a chainsaw.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
you know, tripping out on drugs, cutting working people's jobs. And there is just a cruelty to MAGA. There is a recreational cruelty where these people feast on this cruelty. And they, from time to time, I try to watch Fox News and the cruelty in it is so disturbing. And it's, I just, I really think that these people are just really sick fucking puppies.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I think the disconnect is this. The Mac of Jesus is a dick. Right. I mean, just full stop. He's a capitalist, wants people to be cruel, doesn't want people to have health care. There's all of these hardcore evangelicals that are coming out right now saying empathy is a problem. Right. And so they're trying to identify empathy as being something that they don't want to value.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And all of this is bred in these evangelical churches, and this is where Democrats are losing footing. Because we grew up in the suburbs of Oklahoma City, and this megachurch culture... back in the 80s when I grew up, it was staggering. And it's still going on. I received a message from a friend of mine who sends her kids to a secular private school. And her daughter is in sixth grade.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And her daughter got this message. And it was a group text that a sixth grader sent a bunch of other sixth graders. Hi, guys. This should have like our group of girls and everything. I like want to shake the nerves off and I want to know if you wanted to meet for a prayer group. Please let me know if you want to and I can find a good time. I want to bring God into people's lives.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And if you don't know him and want to come and want to know him, come to me. And I want y'all to know, when I grew up in elementary school, middle school, and high school in Oklahoma, and my parents are not religious at all, zero indoctrination, this type of recruitment... was nonstop. It was nonstop into my adulthood.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
It was, I fucking hated it because these people think, and this, why is a sixth grader out recruiting people for her mega church? I mean, that is just so fucked up that she's sitting there thinking about heaven and hell and spiritual warfare and eternal damnation and punishment. She's 10 or 11. I just think that is child abuse. I think it is so fucked up to send your kids out to recruit people.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I think it's horrible. Horrible, horrible, and incredibly damaging to tell kids in their developmental stage, if you don't do things the right way, you're going to burn in hell forever. But God loves you unconditionally. I think it's just this huge messed up thing. Now, listen, listener. I know some of you might be Methodist, Episcopalian, Christian light. You don't take the Bible literally.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
But this evangelical Christianity runs parallel, right? with republicanism and they get indoctrinated in it very, very young and they feel that a part of their religion is to recruit people. And I have been recruited by these people that I always found to be like, you want me to go to your church? You're the biggest piece of shit I know.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Or your marriage is so fucked up and you're advertising for me to go get a piece of your life? I mean, come on now. This is a huge problem in America, this evangelical Christianity. And I'm not talking about black people. This is a white thing. This is a white evangelical Christianity thing. The black people that I know that have a faith aren't near this judgmental. They don't try to recruit.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
It's something that helps them personally try to get through their life. But this white evangelical megachurch culture is the epicenter of MAGA. And it is cruel. It is cruel to tell a kid they're going to burn in hell forever.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. The thing about driving is it's. sometimes it feels so good to be like, fuck you, blah, blah, blah. But then when somebody does it to me, I'm like, cool your jets. Like, what's your rush? You know, like I'm always on both sides of the spectrum when it comes to driving.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And the reality is what that child should be taught is it's not your business. Right. You don't you don't you don't. claim moral superiority, nor do you claim to have the answers to existentialism in the universe and recruit other people to your line of thinking. And this is able to go unchecked all the time because it's Christianity.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
But if somebody were Muslim or Jewish or Mormon and they start doing this shit in the group me, it would be stage five meltdown by all of these white Christians. And it's just the... the hypocrisy of Christianity when you live in the buckle of the Bible belt. And I'm just going to tell you guys. There are people who have gay kids and they do not support their kids.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
They exile them from their lives. They don't vote for them. They treat them like shit. They try to pray the gay away. And I'll tell you this, there are a shit ton of racists that I've experienced in my life. Every single one of them is also as big as they are a race and racist. They're also equally that big of a Christian. Those two things go hand in hand.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And this has been going on for over a century. If you look back to slavery was supported by Christianity in the Bible, it tells you gives you explicit instructions of how to treat your slave.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And also, I think there's this situation that liberals or maybe moderates or complete leftists are finding themselves in where you fought so hard for human rights and you put the needs of marginalized people before yourself if you're a privileged white person. And then you see these piece of shit friends that you've had just, you know, triple trumpet, MAGA it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
You see them getting more emboldened and it becomes off-putting and it becomes a deal breaker. And you're like, you know what? I don't want to spend my free time with a racist piece of shit. And I've discovered now that you're a racist piece of shit. And I was kind of okay with it there for a little bit, but now I can't do it anymore. So this is a breakup. This is a deal breaker for me.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And then now the MAGA people are trying to, instead of taking ownership for that and saying, yeah, I get it. If you're not a racist and I'm a racist, you want to hang out with me. Now they're saying, oh. Liberals, they aren't hanging out with their conservative friends anymore. It's like, if you were conservative, that would be one thing. You don't believe in democracy.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
You support this cruel man. And then we know about all of this bullying and the DMs that goes way underreported that we just talked about at the beginning of this episode. And you're okay with all that. And it makes you unattractive. Your MAGA makes you very unattractive. And I don't want to be friends with somebody who on the inside is unattractive. You're ugly on the inside.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And that's a deal breaker. And so, I mean, for me... I have kind of been doing this for a very long time. It's always been very, very difficult for me. And I've always kept my friend group really small because I'm an atheist liberal in the buckle of the Bible belt and always have been so. But now I'm just like, fuck you. If you voted for MAGA three times.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
You hear about these, you know, these two friends of Kylie's that get that kind of message, all the shit we've gotten. And listen. I we never really talk about ours that much. We choose to be in a high profile situation by sitting down every day behind these microphones and you're going to get that more big girls and we can put on our big girl panties and push through it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
So mine is kind of similar. And I've had it with when I'm driving, my husband telling me which way to go. Yeah. And where to park and what to do. And like Josh has this whole thing, like his his whole parking approach to everything. And it's really pretty smart.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I'd rather us take it because we're pretty thick skin than somebody who's a member of the LGBTQ plus community. But I'll tell you. One thing that has happened since Trump won, and Pumps and I do this, and some of my friends that I play tennis and pickleball with, we'll go into a place and we just size up. You think they're MAGA?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Oh, no, they look liberal. And you size everybody up. You're always questioning, is this person MAGA or not MAGA? Because it's different. I remember when people voted for George W. Bush. I did not like him. I thought he was a terrible president. I didn't think he was bright. But there was some friendliness and camaraderie about it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Like if I ran into some of my friends that were George W. Bush supporters, I could razz them. And they could razz back at me and say, oh, you're just a liberal, blah, blah. And it was friendly. But this shit is just – I mean it's just beyond the pale that you're letting Andrew Tate, who's this huge sexual predator –
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Back in the United States, off the hook, we could just go on and on and on about the moral depravity of these people and how they OK it. But, you know, I mean, it's it's really disturbing. It's friendship ending for sure. Yeah. OK, who's next?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Ruthie, I mean, I just my heart when I hear about parents that disown their children because they're gay or shame them because they're gay or know that they are gay. And despite that knowledge, go and vote for Donald Trump. The sense of conditional love those kids must feel and how harmful that is. It breaks my heart.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
It's like he'll pull into the parking lot and you see the people that are like, you know, snaking up and down trying to find a close spot. Josh will pull into a parking lot, drive to the very back of it and park. I do that a lot. He's like, I'm not messing with this. I'm not playing this game with these people. I'm going to do it. So when I'm driving, he'll be like, you need to switch lanes.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I want you, Ruthie, to know that there are millions of women and men like Pumps and me who love you for you and all of the other Ruthies out there. And it is just... You know, we only have this time on earth and it's just horrific to me that you just wouldn't... Ruthie's a lesbian. Who gives a shit? Ruthie sounds like a lot of fun to me. Yeah, exactly.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
You know, Ruthie sounds like somebody you'd want to sit around and have coffee with and hang out with. And she's funny and she's in the army. Right, she's a badass. You know, it's just... I fucking hate Trump and I hate all these fucking MAGA people.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Gross. you know it's forced capitalism forced religiosity i mean it's just always that's why i think the evangelicals and the capitalists go so well together because evangelicals it's a pyramid scheme you have to keep recruiting recruiting recruiting and they're always you know it's always proselytizing
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. And then, you know, now you know why the preachers are always like, bring a friend. Make sure you bring a friend. And when you go, you have to fill out your information.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And again, I know that some of you are Christian light and go to a church that doesn't take Venmo, that probably has decent architecture, where there are religious leaders like that one that told off Trump that talk about equality and social justice and supporting the marginalized and not judging. And I know that that exists. I know that that exists in a lot of spaces.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I'm like, I've got this. I know what I'm doing. And then we get in the parking lot, just go to the back and park. And I'm like, well, there's one right here that I'm choosing. I get to pick the spot. You don't get to pick the spot. I'm driving. And I just, I don't like the, I don't need the tips, the driving tips.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
We haven't really talked about performative, overreaching grandparents. And that is a real thing. I'm a goldmine. That is a real thing. I am so lucky that my parents just have let me and my siblings, they don't like interfere or tell us how to raise our kids. I mean, there, of course, been times and I mean, I immediately draw a boundary and they immediately acknowledge it. But like...
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
The the demand sometimes I think grandparents over insert themselves into their child and their grandkids lives. And I think it's kind of toxic.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, I don't care. Here's the deal. Here's the deal. This whole idea that it's going to be a hard name to pronounce, we're already lowering the standards for a segment of the population where the standards are already so low. Right. They're only going to be able to not pronounce it for like a year or two. And then they're going to be able to pronounce it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, you've got to be pumps. Pumps. Yeah, you've got to be. I mean, I know we change your name all the time, but Pumps has always stayed. You don't think Beaver? I think that could be a little inappropriate. I like where your head's at, but I think when I play the tape through, that could be incredibly problematic. All right, Kylie, who's next? Okay, up next, we've got Haley. Okay.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And oftentimes, you know, I'll have on my Google Maps if we're going to watch our son's basketball game or something. And it's guiding me as it should. And then he has to weigh in. And then the ironic thing is sometimes when he's driving, he has on the maps and the map will say turn left. And Josh's blinker's not on, but I'm like, I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to be that person.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, it's just it's so true. It's I mean, the you guys, the the Bible thumpers are so exhausting and sanctimonious and stupid. They're not even armed with facts anymore. And they walk in and try to sit down and have conversations. And these are the people that are now anti-vaxxers. Then when they genuinely get sick, want to go to the same people who told them to get vaccinated.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
They want to go to that same group where they said, no, we know more than you. Then we go to that same group and then receive some form of treatment where then their expertise is appreciated. This is the problem with magical thinking. You deny facts. And I just, I've never had any use for it. And I am so grateful that I was never indoctrinated. And people think that are religious.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, Jennifer, do you not have any sense of spirituality? Do you not have, is there a void in your life? The answer to that is an overwhelming no. I feel like really fortunate to have the time that I have on this earth because nobody fucking knows what happens afterwards. Nobody knows. Christians will claim that they know, but nobody knows 100%.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I feel very fortunate to have like, you know, when you have a dog and you get, you know, 10, 12 years with them. I feel so fortunate that I had that time. I feel so fortunate when I see the earth. I feel, you know, the sense of humanity evolving from generation after generation, trying to leave nuggets for the next and for the next and for the next.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
What a wonderful experience this whole thing could be. And that's why I get so fucking pissed off. that we have just this one life here, that there's all these fucking asshole maggots running around trying to fuck shit up and be mean to people. It pisses me the fuck off. And by the way, Jonah never lived in a whale. It never fucking happened.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And no, it didn't take, it wasn't 900 years old and took all these species on a boat and floated around your fucking idiot dumb asses. If you believe that shit, it's stupid.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And, you know, if these people even researched, they would know Christianity is a complete knockoff of Egyptian religions before it. They had... born of a virgin, all of the stuff, all of the tricks were actually predated Jesus. But then the evangelicals would come out and say, well, no, Satan did that to question your faith. Those religions were planted by Satan.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And then you have some sixth grader, because it's just that you have this one life. Maybe your religion should be, don't be an asshole. And I know that we all fall into cracks where we're assholes from time to time. But try to fix it and be better the next day. And maybe that should be the religion, because most of the religious people I meet, I don't want anything to do with it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And then he starts going straight. And I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then, you know, he thinks he has dementia and all this stuff. So.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I certainly don't want to be a part of their belief system. Now, there are some from time to time, like that preacher that called out Trump, that minister, that lady. She had a really good message. But I think that what I like about her is if I sat down with her and said, look, I'm an atheist, she would say, totally fine. Right. It's 100% fine that we don't believe the same thing.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And she probably would not look me in the eye and tell me I'm going to hell because I bet she doesn't believe in such a childlike punitive bullshit system.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I know. It's just it's this is where we're living in a living moment of history. We are. Where all of the decades long evangelical movement that they've done, where they have married in their churches tax free, which they should not. They should be paying taxes if you get political, but they've married. evangelical Christianity with republicanism.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And now we are at the climax of that via Donald Trump. And it's so funny that they think like, oh, Jesus picked Trump.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Booking.com. Booking.yeah. Every time I use Booking.com to find a place to stay in the U.S., I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for. They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals, and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs. I found that Booking.com has something for everyone.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
It's like there is not a bigger walking advertisement on the planet than that motherfucker to think I want nothing to do with that religion. Right. Right. Kylie. I didn't realize we were going to make a religious episode today. This podcast is supposed to be funny, but you know what? We let the mouths take us.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
We are. And I just think that we're not feeling all of this in a vacuum. And I think that we've been on air now for two and a half years. And the people that have come here have been demonized by religion.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
or have observed religions demonizing marginalized people and they don't like it and there's a sense of social justice that unites us and there's a sense of togetherness that we feel in that plight for social justice and I just want everyone to know this like the everybody comes to a space in their life. Like when Angie and I met, she was religious and I wasn't.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And then, you know, she kind of had her own evolution to where she was like, God, I don't want to believe bad things about gay people. And, you know, she'll tell her own story about it.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
But I hope that we can offer a message of hope if somebody's in this type of black and white worldview thinking that it's not kind nor attractive nor helpful to the human cause to think that you're better than gay people or black people or marginalized people or poor people or sick people. Right.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, this has been a real uplifting episode if I've had it. I know that probably you didn't laugh as much, but sometimes I think in Trump's America, we're going to have to have real moments and episodes where we acknowledge the potpourri of fuckery that we're all witnessing and the pain that it is causing so many people and the fear that so many of our listeners have.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
That's true. I didn't even see it. You didn't even see him. And I reached up and grabbed the oh shit bar. Yeah. And I was like, pumps, pumps, pumps. And then you slammed on the brake and the guy was glaring at us. And I was like, we deserve that. Yeah. Yeah, because you would have hit him.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Okay. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm the dawning of a beaver. The dawning of a beaver. So, you know, I mean, we're kind of out here in Trump's America trying to still make our little podcast. And I mean, this sucks. Not our show, of course. It's fucking rock solid. But the Trump's America stuff is so daunting.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Yeah, it's really bad. And I have a lot of concern about all of these people that have lost their jobs and the jobs that they were doing, like making sure planes don't crash, making sure water is clean, making sure corporations aren't poisoning us. All of that's been eliminated. And then you have these triple Trumpers that just celebrate. And it's bizarre. It's a death cult.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I'm going to say it's a death cult. You're going to go all the way? Yeah, I am. I think it's a death cult. Okay, Kylie, what's going on the internet?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I mean, this is why we do this podcast and continue to do it. And we get, you know, hate and all the stuff. And this is why we don't bend. This is why you don't see us move away from this community, because there are millions of gay people. lesbian, trans, queer Americans. And either this is a democracy for everyone or it's not.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I have felt the fight for human rights with every fiber in my bone forever. And I've never relented on it. And I probably lost friends over it, but I don't give a fuck. And pumps can attest to it. I Pumps kind of hung out in some Bible circles and we'd go on these girls trips and I would go hard in the paint for this for this group of people.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I'm unrelenting in my loyalty and my support because of how cruel people are to this community. It's just immoral and deplorable.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Find exactly what you're booking for on Booking.com. Welcome to America's Top DEI Podcasts, Patriots, Gayatriots, and Natriots. That is Miss Angela D. Beaver, America's Best DEI Hire. And podcasting.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And that's the message, Democrats, that a lot of people were indoctrinated. And in this indoctrination, not only is that you're so special in the Christian narcissism, but there is a massive effort to demonize gay people and tell them they're going to hell and try to deprogram them and all of these things.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And you just simply, you can't deprogram homosexuality in the same way that you can't deprogram heterosexuality. You can't do it. Furthermore, why the fuck do you want to do that? Right. I mean, there's many reasons why I'm not a Christian, but when I see people that are so like, like kind of friendly on the surface, but then right beneath it, if you say, well, how are you on LGBTQ plus rights?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Well, I mean, you know, my hairdresser's gay, but I mean, you know. if truth be told, we know they're all going to go to hell. And I think, you know what, Becky, you're a cunt. That's what you are. The fact that people think it's their business, and I want to also point out that Christians make gay babies. Right. Straight people make gay babies, and it's not a choice.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And I hope that the Democrats maintain their support for this community. And if they don't, I want you to know that there are millions of us that will. That's right. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
lackluster that's fantastic that is that is such a great review yeah he's a lackluster listener and it's a lackluster podcast worth five stars i guess i guess i mean yeah i mean you know i think hey lackluster listener thank you for doing it because i have to say this i'm really guilty of angie and i are both guilty of this for years
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And we would be like, you know, that person, they're such a twat. They shouldn't have done this, that bubble. We're going to write them a letter. And it's some, you know, like corporation or some teacher or some somebody somewhere that fucked around. And we were going to write a letter to try to rectify the situation to write the wrong. We never wrote a letter.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
You know, it's kind of like, you know, if you're in high school and you're running for student council, you should vote for yourself. Right. We should write reviews for ourselves. I'm sure I probably didn't do. I just don't have a memory of it. It sounds like something we would have said, let's each go write a review.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
All right. I have some news stories. I have a news story. Okay. This is wild, you guys. Okay. So a realtor was fired after writing on her restaurant receipt. I hope Trump deports you. And so customer Stephanie Levens, she's denied the allegations online, claiming her credit card was lost slash stolen, but employees have identified her as the culprit.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And on the receipt, she wrote tip zero, you suck. And then she reinforced the total. And then she wrote at the bottom that, I hope Trump deports you. All right, go to the next slide. And then somebody that works at the, Kylie, does this person work at the restaurant? Yes, ma'am. Okay. Yes, ma'am.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
Isabel Natalie writes, y'all hate us, but love our food. Shame on you, Stephanie, for not saying it with your chest. And so this is a Mexican restaurant. And of course, Trump has just fueled these horrible, horrible people. Okay, Stephanie, then pose. Pose. Thank you for all the recent notifications of scammers and profile hackers.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I recently discovered a lost slash missing credit card and an attempted use slash purchase. I am learning that scam bots are a thing and always be careful of suspicious links, especially if your information has been compromised. AI is a good thing. Until it's not. So here she is trying to provide cover for her cruel and racist message to the server. Go to the next one.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
And here she is after she got fired selling my dumbbell set, 5 to 50 pounds with rack. Meet up at the police department only. Serious inquiries only $500. And then the next slide. Diana Prince reports she looks like she pronounces the L in tortilla. Yeah. Tortilla. And so this is the part about Trump's America that is the most insidious to me. This is not the golden era of America.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
This is the age of emboldenment. And you have racists. homophobes, misogynists that are completely, totally, and utterly emboldened by this piece of shit. And his wife, Melania, has the audacity to have a first lady campaign called Be Best to try to get people to not be bullies. And that is so rich and so insulting. And I just, I really... I really hate these people.
I've Had It
MAGA Jesus is a D**k
I hate the way they treat Mexicans. I hate the way they treat minorities. I hate the way they treat the LGBTQ plus community. It is despicable and more white people need to stand up to these types of fucking bullies because it is intolerable, insufferable and disgusting.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
So, okay, I have a couple questions. Okay. So he went for the same whale to have sex with or just different whales in different parts?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I'm like, is it love or is it sex? I think it's sex. Okay. So he just went straight for sex.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Well, I mean, as we all know, our dogs are the absolute love of our lives. And I just guarantee you that my brain does everything his brain does. Because I'm so excited to see him because I think he's family.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Oh my gosh, yes. I think that is absolutely brilliant. I think it's a great idea how to raise money. And it's fun and funny. I love it. Which one would you buy? Why couldn't I buy all three? There you go. A trifecta. A trifecta. The veggie, the cockroach, and the rat.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I guess other animals eat. But I always just associate it with because their mouth gets so big and then you can see it passing through. I kind of might want to see that. You would? Yeah. If I named it after my ex. Yeah. Just go all the way in. Yeah.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah, I would. You just wouldn't do it. I mean, like, let's say it wasn't going to a good cause. You just like were at a bar and they said, here's what you can do. They had a snake with the rat that I don't know, whatever cockroaches.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
crossword word search one. And then I have that one because I Googled like best games to keep your brain sharp as you age. And so that's why I'm doing it, but I've gotten to where I kind of like it, but it's just these pop-up videos. And I'm like, oh, there, there it is. I'm going to push it. There's an ad. So it makes me furious.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah, but he's like the 10th kid, so we don't know. Maybe the older one is.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Who knows? Yeah, here's what I do like, though. And my friends made fun of me when my kids were little. Like, I think it's a super cute, like, if you're the third, you know, like Trey is what they call the third if it's a family name. And I have a friend whose brother-in-law was triple, and I thought that was so cute. Just like everybody called him triple.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And your friends made fun of you for that? Well, they made fun of me for liking that because they were saying that's the dumbest name. And I was like, no, I really think it's cute. I mean, he was an adult when I knew him. So it wasn't like a cute little boy, but I just thought. And he still went by triple? No, I think to this day right now. He's triple? He still goes by triple.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah, it's so stupid. And they're going to have to spell it the rest of their life.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But here's what I thought you were going to say when we were talking about the plane. So yesterday on the plane, we're sitting there and I'm like, oh, I think I might be able to take a power nap here. Like a real quick power nap. So I doze off. The next thing I know, my mouth is hanging open like asleep. And I mean, it jerked me so hard. I was so embarrassed.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
This is a fantastic habit. We've kind of talked about this before, but she is so right. Like everybody loves their kid. Everybody thinks their kid's special, but your kid's special to you. A six-month-old, every six-month-old pretty much does the same thing. There's not like, oh, your six-month-old is doing accounting or your six-month-old is, you know, doing physics.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Everything catches up. That's what I was going to say. They're both, you know.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Okay, number one, I don't have friends like that. Thank goodness. These people that want to take picture of all the food and stuff, nobody cares what you're eating, what your table looks like. That would drive me crazy. Like I would, even if I loved those people, I would just X them out. I'm not going out to eat with them. We can go to different stuff, but I'm not doing that.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I'm always wondering, like, so many people I see taking pictures and videos of stuff that I'm just – I walk by and I think – who does this person think is going to watch this or look at this? Like this is the most boring, mundane, non-photo op that I've ever seen in my life. Like who are they going to thrust this upon and bore to tears with this caption of history?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I thought you were going to make fun of me for having the mouth open.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I mean, I just think it's stupid, stupid, stupid. Do you think it's dumber, the coffee photos with the like foam art or the food?
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah, I mean, I just, I can't imagine anybody would care. No, I'm with you. If you're a food chef or like a recipe person trying to, you know, market your recipes, I get that. But just Joe Blow went to, you know, mundane restaurant and took a picture, there's no need for it. It's ridiculous.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Love Lucy. I think she's spot on with that. Free to get home. And they just put it out there. No, thank you. You can't just clutter up the yard.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
What is happening? What is happening that they're doing this? And she, oh my gosh.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
No, I didn't either. And I was just like, oh my gosh, it hit me like, oh my gosh, that is so bananas. I think if I... You know how like I know some doctor, I have doctor friends that are a vaccine only practice. Like if you don't get vaccines, that's great. You can't be in their practice. Full stop. I think she's put a sign that says no gentle parenting. No gentle parenting. No gentle parenting.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
No shoes, no shirt, no service, no gentle parenting. Get the fuck out. Like if you are that dumb. that you are wanting your toddler to consent to treatment from the doctor. And this entitlement and the lack of self-awareness to try to pitch your toddler on medical care And take up the entire practice time and have the doctor sit there for 30 minutes.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah. Oh, that's a great point. A lot of the anti-vaxxers running around getting the jab.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And let's not forget, Chewy has the best dog toys for your baby dog.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I love using Rowe. The formula from Eli Lilly hits... not one, but two hormones to curb your hunger and with less nausea. Plus you can sign up online from the comfort of your own home. That means no waiting for an in-person doctor's appointment, no commute to the doctor's office and no waiting rooms.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yes, and they're sticky. Like you get stuff stuck more. Now, this is, I mean, this is just, this is me, Scott H. The whole thing, I'm even getting ready to go get a new retainer. I haven't had, because I've got this thing in my, like the two front teeth are sliding open in the middle. So your teeth aren't tight anymore.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
The dragons aren't tight. The teeth aren't tight. The vagine's not tight. Nothing's tight. Tight is gone. I'll tell you what is tight is your forehead. Actually, I feel like I need a little more Botox up here.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah. So I was thinking I've got to go get a retainer. Like an Invisalign? An Invisalign. Yeah. Our friend got one and so I'm going to use her person. But I didn't realize that like you have to go every two weeks to the Invisalign place.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Have that same gripe, same exact gripe. Are people stopping you with gliss? No, but sometimes like when I'm walking the dogs, they're not talking to the dog. They're talking to me. And I'm just like, dude, sunglasses, earbuds, phone. Like, how are you not noticing I'm not in the chit chat mode? Yeah. Happens a lot.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I mean, obviously, if Ollie was with me, they would stop me to tell me it's the cutest dog in the world.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Do you find yourself? No, I've really been trying to do better. You've brought it to my attention how bad I am at it. I've accepted the fact that I'm the problem in these situations. So I am doing a little bit better, especially if it's people like... I'm better if it's people that I completely don't know. Right.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
But if it's people that I know and have some type of relationship with, I'm more inclined to chit chat than I am just a rant, just a random person that, you know, I've never seen before. They'd never seen me before.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Right. She took so many twists and turns, brought it in. Chrissy S. Okay.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
That's like a lights and sirens. Well, I mean, I've told this story before, but I think it's worth retelling. I will never forget where I was. I was at a birthday party. I was sitting at a gymnastics birthday party place. I was sitting on the floor exercise mat with another mother, and her child was going to kindergarten. And I said, oh, are you so excited? She's going to kindergarten.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
She goes, no, I feel like I'm losing my best friend. I remember what everybody had on. Pathetic. I remember exactly where I was sitting because it blew my mind off. I was just like, there's so many things. I could not wrap my head around it.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Yeah. It's all the things. We saw a topknot headband yesterday, walked right by us, and Jennifer and I locked eyes.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
This one had pearls on it, too, yesterday. Oh, my God. It's so bad. So bad.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
I love that. That's a great way to do it. But see, the thing is MAGA is so ruined. I mean, like every time you said just that word just sends me into orbit. But I do like the acronym change. I do like it.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
You think he's kind of like, okay, I've had enough fun with her. Now I'm just going to... He checks me.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Okay, what I've had it with is when you're on your phone trying to play a game and it pops up ads all the time. And I've bought the deal that says buy this for ad-free experience. It doesn't help. My son told me that the ad free went through all your apps, but it doesn't. And so I'm like really into a game and I'm like, oh my gosh, yes, I know exactly what my next strategy is.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
It's so good. Like he wanted to hate us, hated us for a long time. Yeah. Then he came around. The worm turned. The worm turned. I mean, here's the deal. The chicken came home to roost. You have to, you can only hate us for so long before you start to like us. You wear people down.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
And boom, there's an ad for something I would never ever buy. So I've had it with that. I've had it with all the ads popping up during games.
I've Had It
Little Broke Bestie
Bitty buddies. It's a public service. It is a public service. And I do think parents really, kids that have thrown tantrum and act like shit that you can't control when they're little, you see that Trump is a petulant five-year-old at all times. So is Elon Musk.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. Okay, the next story is, welcome to the golden age of six-figure birthday parties for toddlers.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
A recent piece in the New York Times reported on this phenomenon zooming in where rich moms routinely spend six or seven figures on fancy parties for their toddlers to ensure their one-year-old has a birthday she'll never forget. Which, of course, nobody remembers being one. Right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
If Instagram had already been turning all of this into a competition the past few years, then the pandemic had basically turned it into a blood sport. Stunning tablescapes to rival those of a wedding with a flower budget to match, massive balloon installations, personalized swag, four-tier cakes.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
These are just a few of the things that have become de rigueur for this sort of crowd who are taking tried and true kids party favorites and capitulating them into a stratospheric level of status symbol. I think all of this stuff, these weddings, the 20 bridesmaids, these birthday parties, everything was on steroids before COVID.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
social media, and now it is on crystal meth, intravenously injected crystal meth. That's how chaotic it is, which brought me back to, I remember the most over the top toddler birthday party I ever went to was for the aforementioned daughter of yours, Emily, where we had a clown, a petting zoo. I think it was a two-tiered cake. I remember seeing a couple tears. Yeah, there were goats.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It's frustrating. It is. It's so frustrating. I got frustrated the other day that somebody didn't take Apple Pay because I had my purse in the car, locked everything in there, and I just wanted to run in, and I just brought my phone only. They don't take Apple Pay. So the cash thing is just so – beyond comprehension nonetheless. All right, let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Here's the deal. I have to tell you, my son Dylan and I had a great time at that party because I like animals. I like a petting zoo. I like balloon art. I wasn't afraid of the clown, although he did terrify a lot of the children. Oh, yeah. I had a great time. Yeah. But does Dylan remember it?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
But in this instance... This is, I think, produced. These six-figure parties are produced for social media.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Oh, that you do. Oh, there's no question. Nobody is safe on the World Wide Web. Right. I mean, they are one million percent getting it. I think they're probably getting it so bad it makes whatever we get look like child's play. Okay. And deservingly so. All right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I believe today we have some voice memos we would like to hear from our listeners because we love and cherish our relationship with you. Okay. At first, we've got Sage.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I completely agree with this. I believe there are these awkward interactions where you catch people. The people that make this type of contact, which I'm going to go ahead and call inappropriate eye contact.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Yeah. Abusive. eye contact, personal space invasion, eye contact, they continue to do it. I'll give you an example. I was recently playing tennis in like a class type setting. And it's like a cardio tennis. And the instructor is telling us, okay, here's what we're going to do. Four people in here, four people here, rotate in, yak, blah. Across the net, I see this person staring at me
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
like really, really staring at me. And so I make eye contact and then I divert like a normal person does. Listen to the instructor for a second, look back. He's still staring, like completely staring me down. I look away again. It goes on for like five minutes. And I'm just like, why are you continuing to stare at me when I made the eye divert, then you eye divert?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I've had it with the notion that a lot of people have that if we speak about something to our lives that is petty, frivolous, first world, that the response can always be you ladies need to go live in a third world country to get some perspective.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Do you think he had the hots for you? No, I mean, obviously, I mean, who doesn't? But join, get in line. But it was, it's so weird. And then you see, have you ever caught that? Like, I'm like, why do they keep staring at me? And then I look behind me and think, is somebody behind me? Like, why are we not diverting? Yeah.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I mean, that is, I've already had it just from listening to that. And I know that that is happening all across this country. Christmas is an inherently narcissistic holiday, much like the brides. It becomes this big thing. Like, let me give you an example.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
The girl that used to work for me, she tells me the other day, and this is a 30-something, early 30-something, that her in-laws sent her their wish list of what they want their gifts to be. That's weird. You ask for kids, I ask my kids, please send me what you want for Christmas. Send me your Christmas list. Right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I would never, ever, you could not torture it out of me to send a daughter-in-law a, here's what I want for Christmas. I would be like, I have everything I need. Do not worry about getting me one thing. And then all of that group texting, all they would see on my end is Jennifer has left the text. And I advise Cody, as soon as you're married, I think this is something that Cody needs to manage.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Just because there are two people in the marriage doesn't mean there always has to be two participants. You don't have to participate in this, Cody. You can say, it's your family. Right. These are your problems. I'm not participating in this because it's going to lead to a divorce and potentially to a homicide. And because I care about fighting crime, because I'm a big crime fighter, darling.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I must not engage in this Christmas list texting fuckery because it is ape shit bananas.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Or there are people starving in Africa that you're not allowed to have any suffering that is personal to your life because there is greater suffering out in the world. It drives me insane. And we don't talk about this a lot, We have a book coming out where we tell it. We have suffered. We've been broke. We've been through all of that shit. We're not in that era anymore.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Why would you do that? I just, I think it's insane. And this is, in this situation, in this person's situation, it is not even, it is a stepmother-in-law. Right, no. Sending a Christmas gift list to for two people well over the age of 50. And I just think that is so tacky. I think it is as tacky as all get out.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I think the biggest gift adults that are established, that are over the magic of Christmas for themselves personally can engage in, don't worry about me. Get me, if you must bring something, get me a small little something. Do not spend any money on me. This is more about me getting something for you all. And that's my parents are the same. We do not. Each year we've gotten less and less.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Lately we've done like you pick a family member's name. Now we have just said no. Only buy for children and children only. Adults don't buy adults gifts any longer. Because here's the thing. Oftentimes you get a gift that somebody thinks is neat. It's what I like to call a projection gift. Like sometimes you might see a robe and you think, oh, I personally would like this robe.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I think this robe is great. And you project how you feel about it onto the receiver and And then there's a big, oh, don't you love it? And, you know, rubbing all over the robe. Here's the thing. I finally had to tell Josh and the boys, I don't know, a few years ago, quit buying me robes. I'm so tired of receiving robes. I don't, if I want a robe, I'm going to go pick out my very own.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I found myself wearing certain robes to please them so they could see me around the house in it. And I didn't like any of them. So about a year ago, I loaded them all up and donated them and I bought the robe that I wanted. And I just, sometimes gift receiving, it's nice, but sometimes people are projecting what they want on the gift.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
That I want for myself. Right. So considering we live, you know, in the house together, this item lives in the house together. I recently bought him a suitcase and I really wanted the suitcase for myself. And we travel a lot for work and I have just used the suitcase. So what this suitcase did is it was, this is what I call the gift that is two birds, one stone.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
He had something under the tree that he unwrapped. I got the suitcase that I wanted.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It was great. I wish I could have it. No, I don't have it. It's probably, I'm not a keepsake Christmas card type person. But I've shared this before, but it's worth a reshare. So Pumps, in the early days, hopeful days of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic that was her marriage, does a Hail Mary trip to Costa Rica with her husband and the kids.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And they're lying in this gigantic oversized hammock in some rainforest somewhere. All right. And the kids are toddlers. I'm talking like one, maybe like two, four and six. and her husband. And her husband's in his swim trunks and Pumps was already reaping the benefits of what we referred to as the pre-divorce diet, where you can't eat, you're stressed all the time.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
So she's just tiny, like size two tiny. And he is having the reverse effect where he's eating his emotions. So he was larger than normal.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
We're in the petty grievance era. And maybe not all of our grievances are entirely relatable. But here's the thing, this is not a serious podcast. This is for fun. And I just can't take that there are people out there that monitor, like they're just like the hall monitors of the internet.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
No shirt. So they're sprawled out on this hammock. And the ex-husband looks like a goddamn beached whale. And Pumps is like curled up to him like on her side. And it looks like the scale-wise of the photograph, it looks like he's like 30 inches wide. And it looks like you. And then you have these three miniature humans also in the hammock around you.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You look like you're maybe four inches wide, scale-wise. Supermodel look. I looked fabulous. You looked so fabulous. I opened it up. I am howling with laughter. I am dying laughing. And I call her up immediately. And I go, well, either you thought you looked really cute. Or you thought Kirk looked really bad and it was kind of a fuck you thing or both? And you're like, oh, it's both.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Oh, you looked great. Yeah. Do you think somebody has that? You've got to have a friend somewhere that saved that rainforest hammock.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
his make it it was overflowing it was it was it was homicide via christmas card delivery if i have ever seen it yeah i don't i can't imagine you know my mom might have that i'll check i need for you to look into it story neither though she's a throwaway okay up next we've got elizabeth you know what i've had it with
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Okay, here's the thing. I completely agree with this. I don't like flags on cars. I don't like noses on cars, ears on cars, eyelashes on cars, any of those types of things. Additionally, I don't like cups or backpacks for cups and purses for cups and all of those things. They all live in the exact same space. However, the other day I saw this woman, elderly, And she was pretty cute.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You see her and you just think, this is a happy old lady. She was just happy. And she was kind of like smiling in her car. And she pulled up next to me and she had on like the little Rudolph nose and the ears. And I immediately thought, who's this bitch? She gets out. She's smiling. We go in and she's just, you can tell she has a pep in her step.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Just enough. You know what I've had it with? When I was leaving your house out in the suburbs yesterday, when I saw the Christmas light advertisement in your yard? Uh-huh. So, you know, it gets kind of Trumpy out there. So there's all these like Ford F-150s. And as I'm leaving, they're on the streets between where I go from my house to your house.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And they monitor everybody's like if you're not liberal enough or you're too center and there's just all this hyper correcting. You two need to go live in a third world country. It's like, you know what? Fuck off. We don't live in a third world country and we get pissed about stupid shit and we still try to fight the good fight at the same time. And I've just completely had it with that.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And one bumper sticker has like American flag on it. And it says, Patriots stand up. Yeah. And I just thought, who is this fucking blowhard? Who is this schmohawk? What a pussy. I just, I can't stand it. And then I went further and there's another truck and there's like a, you know, like a AR-15. And it said, you want it? Come get it. I'm so sick of these machismo bullshit things.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Patriot gun faux patriot bumper stickers where they, you know, it's like this. Let's all get juiced up together because what it what it tells me what I receive when I see that is I don't think testosterone. I think low T. I think the opposite of whatever the image is that they want to project. I mean, it's kind of like when I hear you talk about, I'm never going to date a prisoner.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I'm never going to date an inmate. I 100% know that your soulmate is behind bars right now. Right now, as we speak. Right now. I know that that is the case. Just like I knew that you would like that French bulldog. And I know with these men, I know that we've got a low T situation or a bi-curious situation.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Let me ask you this. That hot dog that you tried to purchase the other day. Yeah. That you were denied. Yeah. Do you think the person who had the truck that says Patriots, Stand up. Do you think that his penis is smaller or larger than the hot dog that you tried to purchase?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You think it's a micropene? Here's what I think. I think there's two options. I think you've got a micropene situation. Right. I think you've got a low T situation. Or both. Yeah, both of those. But I also think this is something that nobody really talks about. And I think this could be a lot of it. I think these men... that have to do all this machismo.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Because there's all of this Trump photoshopped kind of homoerotic where it makes Trump look like he has abs and pectoral muscles and all this stuff. I think a lot of these men watch a lot of porn. And I think they get excited when they see the men And I'm not saying they're gay. I'm saying they're bi curious. I'm saying that the man's role in it excited the guy.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Like maybe as he's beaten off when he's watching porn, the man did something and that was the money shot. That's what triggered it. And so there's this desire because this is an internal secret that only they know that they're little, you know, there's a little bi curious in them. There's a little bit of bi curiosity in them. And I think that all of this machismo is just to mask that.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I think this bi curious thing is a lot more ubiquitous with these types of men than earlier stated. And I know for sure what will end up happening. We make these statements. And then the scientists catch up with I've had it podcast. Like they have with the other stuff. But at some point, we'll be sitting here saying, I knew that those guys were bisexual.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Let me ask you this before we wrap. When you get prison married. Okay. how many bridesmaids will you have? And can I be the maid of honor? And then will you have all three of our dogs participate in that wedding with the inmate?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
In my opinion, that catapults the relationship to a place that you never gave your first marriage the ability to succeed in.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I mean, I am. I'm just saying I've never heard somebody talk so much about inmate marriage as I have you.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Oh, so wait. Okay, just for the permanent record. We haven't talked about the permanent record in quite some time. Are you never marrying somebody that's in prison? Okay, but jail's okay?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Prison or jail? Let's just lump it in. Okay, prison, jail, all of the above. Mental institution? Mental institution.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
All right. All right. I think that's just all. that we can do for today. Wouldn't you agree, Katarina? I agree. All right. Don't you for sure think Pumps is marrying an inmate?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I mean, and it's also such a Debbie Downer. You know, like, whatever, if anybody says some complaint that they have, that we always have to say, well... in Africa or in Southeast Asia or in India, these horrible human rights violations are occurring. Therefore, every grievance that you have is completely invalidated.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It's perfect. Kyle, this is exactly why you keep saying you're not going to do it because deep down you know it's your destiny.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Please go rate, subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Now, in saying this, are there people that are so breathtakingly out of touch that it's annoying? Yes. Yes. Could Pumps and I at times be those people Yes. 100%, yes. But I just, I feel like there is this micromanaging that is going on the World Wide Web about like all of the people, particularly on the left, tend to try to out liberal each other, correct each other all the time.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And you go over to the right and it's Fleabag, Roche Motel, Parasite City. There are not enough insecticides that could diffuse that situation. And it's they just pile on top of each other's crazy. Can we have some camaraderie if we agree 70% of the time? Can we just not have to hyper-correct each other all the time, nonstop? It drives me crazy.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Well, and then somebody said the other day, I hate that you all have commercials. And I'm like, do you think we're up here just doing this as a community service? I mean... Seriously, it's just there's this micro managing approach to where people now that we have a degree of separation where we communicate with one another.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
It's not face to face where people just none of this stuff really bothers me. It's just the hyper correction that you see. Remove it from our podcast. Like, here's how low the bar is for me right now. If you don't like Trump, I'm cool. That's it. That's it. We can disagree on nuances of all sorts of things after that. But if you don't like Trump and didn't vote for him, we're good.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
I'm glad she brought up the lighting guy because I went to Pumps' house yesterday and I hadn't been out there in quite some time. I hadn't seen the Christmas light installation. But as I left your house, I noticed that he had a little sign advertisement in your yard marking his territory that it was in fact his work. Right. He does. That's absolutely right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Have you had any communication with him since the Christmas lights are blinking out?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
You do? Yeah. I think you got to go December 26th. I think you say, I will unplug them at 6 p.m. on Christmas Day because I don't like to belabor celebrations. Right. It's over. I would appreciate if you could have them all down by 6 p.m. on December 26th. I think you need to give him Christmas off.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Okay, here's what's going to happen. And I just want everyone to know once we get to 12,000, then it resets and we start a new goal and a whole new round of browbeating begins. Just infinite browbeating. What if each time Kylie went on, people had deleted their reviews and it just went down in number? Can you do that? I'm sure you can. You just planted a great idea. Right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Now it's going to happen. Good job. Listeners. All right. I have some news stories I want to share with everybody. I know that Pumps is just going to lose her mind over this. Bride surprises wedding guests with a morning 7K run to start the day with endorphins. Your thoughts?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
sadistic kind of i mean that's like hey we're gonna start the day with a 7k run it's like i didn't i signed up to come to the wedding right and to be in your wedding i didn't sign up for an exercise class okay
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Welcome to the rebellion. We will not pre-surrender. We have a bird. We have a Siberian husky or two. Two. Pumps, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
All right. Let me ask you this. I remember there was a time back in our early friendship before your marriage and finances blew up. Right. And... You had told me, oh, yes, my ex-husband and I, at the time he was your husband, so you were like, my husband and I, you know, just put some money in the kids' college accounts, and we also set up an account for the expenses for Emily's wedding. Right.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
And I think at the time Emily was four. Right. So would you say historically you're a part of this problem, or... Part of the solution.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
That's what we should start doing at weddings. The more obnoxious it is, you and I can be kind of in the back. We could just go. You know how there's that movie, The Wedding Crashers? Yeah. We could revive it. And we could go to weddings. And we could kind of get dolled up, sit in the back. And the more obnoxious. I mean, when they get to like the sixth.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
bridesmaid and the third flower girl, and then the dogs start trotting down the aisle, we start going, shame, shame, shame.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
really, really particularly egregious behavior. What is your stance now? When Emily was three or four, I remember it struck me at the time. That's weird. Wow. Like the last thing I'm thinking about is... my children getting married. Like I wasn't even thinking that far. And so what is your position on it now?
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
If Emily were to get engaged and married, what advice would the more enlightened, more cynical, more fuck you pumps have for her daughter? Okay, so here's the thing. I've kind of thought about that.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
Here's the thing. I know you well. I know you well. I think you will get sucked. You think I do? You will get sucked right into it. You think I'll fall back into those traps? Yes. I think old habits die hard. And I think this, you had a, this brings me to my next news story. Hold on.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
That is guest abuse. And it's so over the top performative to say that you have 20 people with whom you were that close. It's just lying. It's an insult to the guest's intelligence, emotional intelligence. Because for me, if somebody says they have 20, 2-0, very close friends... Very, very, very close friends. I think that's kind of a red flag. I don't think that's possible.
I've Had It
No Teenie Weenie
20 friends, yes. 20 friends, yes. But close bridesmaid friends, no, I'm not buying that.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Keeping their lips firmly on Trump's ass, they're good at that too. Mm-hmm. leaking war plans. They're great at that. So I think, yeah, I think she's too generous. Although I love the co-therapy, no copay comment.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
by uh gay people and so there's a lot we're just i'm focused on these mega people right i mean that's just my focus all right pumps what have you had it with okay what i've had it with and this happened to me twice last week and it grosses me out so bad it's personal space invaders people who get so close to you can feel their breath on your face when they talk and i'm just like
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
You know what I had forgotten about, and I'm so happy to be reminded of, is the raw dogging in Florida. Yeah, that's a good one. That was such a great one.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And I think it's chicken shit. Yeah, I think it's chicken shit too. And a lot of times I think the person needs to see like if I fuck up really bad, I want them to see I'm in distress over this. I hurt your feelings and I feel bad about it. And so I think the other person needs to feel the regret that you have.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And I just think an impartial, non-emotional apology, I just don't think it, it kind of reminds me of MAGA, like no accountability. Like you fuck up, you make an unmitigated apology, you take your medicine.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Girls are just more expensive. Like once you have to get... The face stuff, the makeup, the products, all that shit. Plus, girls keep you humble. There's nothing like a girl just to make you feel humble. Like when you walk out and everyone's like, Mom, you look so old. You know what I mean? Like girls keep you humble and they're the most expensive.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It is the least bang for your buck that you're going to get.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I don't have to feel your breath on my face for me to hear you. It is way too close. I don't know if it's a lack of ability to gauge social cues. But when I'm up against the wall, like trying to get away from you, why are you still in my face? What do you think it is?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Well, I think that's because it's a cult and he's the cult leader. Yeah. But I think I remember the days when, I mean, love is like a drug. You're so hyped up and excited. But two years like you, I think that seems long.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety. vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
What I love about my BetterHelp Therapist is it's completely tailored around my schedule. I can do it from my home where I'm not inhibited at all. I don't have to wait in line and I can absolutely be myself.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
See, my passive aggressive is I don't respond. I just like leave it forever and ever. Okay, Cameron, as Gen Z, I want to ask you this. What about when you're texting with someone and you see the bubbles that they're going to text you back and then they never respond? What do you think about that?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
What's so great about Chewy is you can do telehealth vet visits, you can get prescriptions, and you can get toys and food. I mean, it's a one-stop shop.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
We have bigger problems on Earth in the United States than we have on Mars, in my opinion. It drives me fucking crazy.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
acting out and being insane people i know i know they're really naughty or they're running the doge department of government efficiency fighting with their baby mamas on twitter i mean it's fucking crazy alas what can we do except for strive our hardest to be billionaires ourselves and be the good one
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Well, and you'd have to tell Elon his dick was bigger than Jeff Bezos. And Jeff Bezos, his dick was bigger than Elon Musk. So then their little rocket feud could subside a little bit.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
I'm just going to go out on a limb and I'm just going to say at 24, I was not that smart.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Absolutely. Because the Democrats do, well, democracy in general needs better messaging. And he is a great messenger and hopefully he can fill the gap.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
So we're sitting here and she goes, is somebody here? And I was like, yeah, it sounds like somebody's here. Sometimes it might be like the UPS guy or whatever. And all I hear is Botox. This woman to my right, her head spins 360 degrees around. Her ass is out of that chair. She's like, they fucking came in that office. They should have seen the sign. I mean, she is so mad.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Of course, all I can do is bust out laughing because she is madder than a hornet. And I mean, this happened 48 hours ago. I was still driving in today and I got so tickled because she was so mad. I mean, it was... And this has been an ongoing grievance. This is like a thousand little paper cuts. It is.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
But it was, I mean, your reaction, it was like, remember that time on the plane I said, Jenny's going to blow and sure enough, you blew? Yeah. You were this close to going down and having her arrested for trespass.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Well, obviously, there's no accountability in MAGA.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
And that's breathtaking stupidity. Yeah, it's a lot of things. Lack of self-awareness, entitlement, stupidity.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
It's so gross. Well, and it's so important for us to all be in together because at the end of the day, none of us are white males.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Here's the thing about it. I used to think that I would, but with the, you know, I would just go in. Like if I'm not paying attention, I just looked up and I wasn't paying attention where I was going. I would look in the building. But I also think the eye level would catch me. Like my hand might be on the door.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
So are we going to have like face ID to get in the building now?
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Right. But he's not a billionaire. So sorry, you're out.
I've Had It
The Smaller the D**k, The Bigger the Rocket
Oh, okay. I can just perch up there and wait. Yeah, you can just sit at the front desk. I could hire somebody to do it.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
You'll get the best teaching assistant, Kathy, and our star teacher, Sensei Pumps, in red eyeglasses is a stunning combination of brains and beauty.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Well, and I just am so glad that we are finally acknowledged for what we are. Educators. Educators. Thought leaders. Thought leaders. I... Wordsmiths.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Well, because you do advocate for children so much. I do. When I think of child advocacy, I think of you first and foremost.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I do. I do. I mean, I think that when it comes to the kids, you're always sacrificing yourself. Safety first. That's right. Safety first for the kids. That's right. We want to create safe spaces for toddlers here at I've Had It. Katarina, who's next?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Okay. This one is five stars titled My Favorite White Ladies. You know, I mean, that is...
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That is really exceptional compliment. High, highest of praise. Because I definitely know how difficult it is when your skin color is darker in this country. And I think a lot of people are dismissive of that or act like, oh, racism, we live in a post-racial America and all of this stuff. And black people know they don't live in a post-racial America. And so that means a whole lot. It does.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Because, I mean, I think this means like we're basically invited to the barbecue.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And we're always looking for ways to better ourselves, find more positivity, be better at everything, if that's even possible. But we today have a certified relationship coach. She is a sensation on Instagram and she is a teacher and author and the host of the podcast, Jillian on Love. Let's welcome to I've Had It, Jillian Turecki.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. All right, listener, let's welcome to I've Had It certified relationship coach, Jillian Turecki. Jillian, how are you today? I'm doing okay.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
So I follow you on Instagram and you're always giving really good advice to people who seem to find toxic relationships that maybe they think they're worthy of, but their worth is really so much more than that.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I think the six months is a time period where oftentimes you're dating that person's representative. Yeah. You're dating the version of that person that was never outdoorsy. Now all of a sudden they're outdoorsy. I have been the most phony version of myself during the first six months of dating people. I remember this boyfriend that I had.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
He was super outdoorsy and he liked to shoot bow and arrows. Who also was super outdoorsy and was literally shooting a bow and arrow with him. Me, I hate both of these things. I mean, yeah, totally outdoorsy. I'm not good at it. It's like me and camping. Yeah, I hear you. You know, and I'm so you I think is six months long enough because I'm on really good behavior.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
we have two kids we've been together for you know 25 years but prior to that my six month mark when i look back on it my 50 year old self look looks back on the version that did that i was the biggest fakest poser most inauthentic version of myself in those six months honestly i was i really was i mean i would i would tack on to things that i thought that would please this person and
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And not too loud. Not too loud. Just ambient. Ambient noise. Ambient light. Great smells. Great people watching. And tell what happened.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
When I exited out of my Joan of Arc era, put the bow and arrow down, never went camping since then. Then I dated a guy after that. And I'm super progressive, very passionate about my politics. I'm a political junkie. And this man, all of us, when I first met him, he was more moderate conservative leaning. And then around the second or third date, lo and behold, he's a progressive political junkie.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And it was such a turnoff to me how disingenuous his political views were. That's when I had the aha moment that, oh, I see what we're doing here. Yes. Yeah. When somebody did it to me, then I realized how ridiculous I was parading around with a bow and arrow and hooking boots on.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
The opposite. She told me, I said, how did you end up marrying this guy? This is the beginning of our friendship. And she said, I could not believe that he was ghosting me because I was so cute and he's such a dork. And so I had to figure out what that was about. I think it's more of a, how could you not like me?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I'm an egomaniac. I can believe that. I knew it. I knew you were an egomaniac.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Pumps, she recently, well, in the last three years, went out with this guy, blind date. And I met him and she was kind of like, oh, he's kind of a dork. I mean, whatever. He's fine. You know, I went on a date with him. I don't think I'm going to. Talk to him again. I mean, there weren't like major sparks. And then he ghosted her for like three weeks.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And she starts calling me. Why do you think he's not calling me? I'm kind of a dork. What do you think this is about? And I'm like, well, now you're really going to like him. Now I did. I said, now you're going to be chomping at the bit to go out with this.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yeah. Yeah. All right, Jillian. Thank you for that therapy session for us. You're welcome. And thank you for the diagnosis. Perhaps the listener and I will have unmitigated fun with that. Did you write down those quotes, Katarina?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
She walked me to it. That's right. I was a dog on a leash and she walked me right to it and I lapped that water up, baby. I feel like you pulled her. Probably did. I probably did. Okay. Jillian, what have you had it with?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Right. All right, now we're going to lighten it up and play a lightning round game, Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right, Had It or Hit It, in-laws.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Which I think egomaniacs, it's often a wishing death. The charm is a part of that personality type.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I've had it. Don't you think there's sometimes this is our theory. This is our working theory. And since you're a professional, you can weigh in on this. Okay. But our hypothesis is this. If you feel the need to, to do gratuitous making out in public. I'm talking about French kissing. I'm talking about really kind of, you know, heavy petting.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
In front of others. It's not just a peck or a handhold. When you go beyond a peck or a handhold, don't you think there's a performative nature to doing that in public that is disguising a lot of brokenness that's happening in private?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Yeah, no, it's wild that it goes on. Like in airplanes, we talk about a lot and the child and the parent are forced into this situation. I saw something on Instagram the other day where a guy got on a plane with his kid and passed out goodie bags to the people surrounding with a note that said, I'm so sorry, you have to fly next to me and my toddler. We're going through a phase.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
There's... Do you think it's like a couple, you know, a couple can have personality traits? Do you think that couple's kind of an egomaniac?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
you know when you have exactly like that selfishness yeah when somebody is a big yak mouth and talks non-stop and they won't shut up i think they're not taking into account the feelings of the listener me i'm the listener and you're not thinking about how painful this is for me and i think the same thing with the pda you're not taking into account the feelings of the viewer and you're in my sight line and i have to watch this and i'm not watching skinamax right now
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Or maybe they're just exhibitionists. But what I feel like this is, it's like we were talking about before you came on, like I get these emails that I didn't sign up for, right? Yeah. Right, right, right. It's this email terrorism that I fight daily. It's constant unsubscribing all the stuff that I have to go through with this.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
But I think a lot of this that these couples, these PDA couples are doing, it's forced soft core porn. They're forcing us to watch soft core porn. It's forced pornography. Yeah. Yeah, especially the grab ass in front of you. It's forced pornography in which the viewer didn't consent. And I don't have any issue. If you want to watch porn, swing for the fences. I don't care. I'm not a religious nut.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
But in public, I don't want to see it. I'm like, what is going on? To me, it reeks of insecurity. when I see it, there's just a, there's this, this reeking of insecurity to it. Like how insecure are you in your relationship that you can't understand what's going on in the area?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Here are some items to help you. you get through the flight. And it was like a Kit Kat, some tissues, hand sanitizer. And I thought, you know, I love that. That's fantastic. That's exactly what you need in this situation. But these toddlers are out of control. And toddlers are always out of control. They're always going to be out of control. And it's a finite amount of period in the
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I personally cannot wait to read it. And thank you so much for joining us. This has been a really fun and educational episode, not to mention diagnostic.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
You just get all tickled pink when we talk about America's... Legal Eagle, America's Greatest Legal Mind, Miss America, the best female in podcasting, you over there grinning from ear to ear. Yep, it's me. Now it is officially confirmed. We know why. Listener, we've got ourselves an egomaniac on our hands, don't we, Katerina?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Makes sense because I think a couple weeks ago we talked about how mean she is when the cameras turn off. Yes, mean. How abusive you can be around the office. Yes. It's all ego.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I mean, I'll just be honest. I'm confirming the diagnosis. With both of those men. The one you married and the married one with whom you had the unwitting affair. Right. So that tells me right there, stay out of relationships.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Well, I think your ego gets in the way. My ego's in the way. That's exactly right. Your ego's in the way of you finding real love and true intimacy. It's the ego. Nailed it. It's a tale as old as time. And it happens to the greatest legal mind.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Well, wait, wait. I think if we rewind the tape or whatever we do in the digital thing, scan the whatever. I don't know. Slide the. How do you do it? Replay the tape? Yeah. All right. Listen. I believe when I said, I'm Jennifer, you said, I'm Angie, America's greatest legal mind, me, mom, me, curtains. And now I've said me, mom, me.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Exactly. You know what I say? I say you lean into it. I'm an egomaniac that specializes in toddler safety procedures.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
By advocating for toddler safety. That's right. That's me. Next episode, we're going to start making a list of places where we think toddlers are not safe. And so just right out of the gates, I'm going to say this. Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. If you're the mother or father of a toddler, please refrain from taking them to restaurants, coffee shops, airports, and airplanes.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Thank you so much for listening today. Pumps, will you tell them when we will see them? See you next Tuesday and Thursday. Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
in the overall lifespan of parenting, the toddler years. And that is the time where you go to places, like you said, you go to some pizza parlor, you go to Chuck E. Cheese, you eat at some, you know, restaurant out in the suburbs where there are other people, where they have high chairs. The first cue
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Please go rate, subscribe, and review so that we will chart upwards with America's greatest legal mind, pumps. Pumps, what does an eagle say? Caw-caw. A little bit more enthusiasm.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
That's it. That's, that's. Caw-caw. That's the patriotism that this country needs right there.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
The other day I was looking on YouTube and somebody just casually commented that about one of our political videos. And it was just like, Meat Curtain makes a good point when she blah, blah, blah. I love that so much. It was like, Meat Curtain makes a good point when she says that Trump X, Y, Z. And it was just totally normal. It wasn't weird to call you Meat Curtain.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
should be when you walk in and typically your child sits in a high chair and or booster seat and the restaurant doesn't have those. That is a great clue. People are missing this. Yeah. I mean, just if there's not a seat where you can belt the child in, they shouldn't be at that restaurant. These kids need to be belted down. And if the restaurant doesn't have seats where you can
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
to strap and contain the child, at least, you know, physically, you know, you still have to deal with the verbal nonsense. But that should be your first clue. And I don't know what's happening where people continue to do this because when we were in the toddler phase, and we've talked about this a lot, Josh and I, the minute, and we would be at a restaurant where it was fine to have a kid. Right.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
The minute one of our kids started that crap, Josh scooped the kid up or I scooped the kid up and we walked out of the door.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
They are. They're sadists. They're miserable. They have to be. They're miserable because when you have a toddler, it's miserable.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And they decided. They woke up and they chose violence that day. That mother woke up, put on a great outfit. She was dressed to the nines. She was super cute. Did her makeup. Got all dolled up. All dolled up. And then she went to that restaurant and she chose violence. She even dressed her kid up.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And then she arrived at that restaurant and allowed that kid to behave the way that kid behaved because she's a violent sadist. There's the only answer. And I'm tired of pussyfooting around all of it. A lot of these parents of toddlers are real sick puppies. And they want to torture everybody else around them. And... There needs to be some oversight. There needs to be some signs.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Here's the deal. I think the age limit can be precarious because I've met some eight or nine year olds where the parents are total nightmares. That's do not regulate the kids. So I think it is the verbiage we need to strive towards. If your child is an asshole, you are not welcome at this event.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I feel like maybe we heard that, but maybe we're in the process of hashtag manifesting that. Oh, okay. Great.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I want to expand this because you have the super bougie restaurant, which that's obvious. But another place that toddler terrorism is ubiquitous are coffee shops. Yes. Coffee is a very hot liquid. It is a very adult drink. Right. And you have a lot of power moms that go to coffee shops with their kids around all these hot liquids. I don't know if these kids are wanting to get all jacked up.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I don't know what the motive is on the caffeine. But they've got some, you know, sort of drink that they're drinking and they're screaming and they typically have green snot. Always. In the nose. I can't even go to coffee shops anymore and enjoy them because of this toddler infestation that is taking over coffee shops. And so a place that I really typically used to like would be a coffee shop.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
People watching is great. You know, people kind of going in and out. People read newspapers. Right. It used to be quiet. Quiet. There is a toddler infestation in this country that is largely going unaddressed and nobody's doing anything about it. Nobody. Nobody is doing anything about it.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
I do too. And I also think that there's an opportunity to... To say to parents, why would you want your child at a coffee shop where the temperature of these liquids is so high that this child is so unregulated? They can reach over and then they get a burner. You're a shitty parent. Is that what you want? Do you want your child to get burned from hot coffee?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Talk to McDonald's about how well that went over. Remember, there's that big lawsuit. Yeah, that old woman.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
No, I completely agree. I think- I'm advocating for the kids here, for them not to be around these hot liquids. Safety. Safety. That kid that was banging that glass in that restaurant, what if it shattered it?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
The real thing is we hate toddlers. Absolutely. But we can do it under the guise of toddler safety. And if you- We are toddler safety advocates.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
We don't think they should be around alcohol. Absolutely not. We think these are very unsafe environments. And these parents are jeopardizing the safety and well-being of their little darlings by taking them into these war zones.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
How do you argue with that? That's right. No, I want my kid to break glass. Because first they're going to be like, oh, no, you're an asshole. Right. Because you're so mean and you used to have kids and you're a hypocrite. All that's true. But we can just skip over that. Right. Because I'm a parent. And because I had a toddler, I avoided places like this because I'm a good mom. Right.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Because I cared about safety. I wouldn't let my kids around hot drinks, around people that are all liquored up, around glass. I wouldn't even let my children around forks. So what kind of fucked up risk-taking parent are you?
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
We lied to our kids and we told them we didn't smoke. That's right. We gaslit them. They'd say, well, boy, you sure do smell like smoke. I'm like, that's weird. That is weird.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
When we drank wine, we hid. We hid from our kids. And they'd say, God, Mom, you seem like your speech is a little slurred. And I'm like, so? So is yours, three-year-old. You can barely even talk. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. And I think I've covered this before, but it's it. Every day I face this and I'm at the end and I don't know what more I'm going to do on this.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
So I get an email that I didn't ask to receive. Okay. And then I go and I click unsubscribe. Okay. And I need for that relationship to end because I didn't consent to receiving this email. And then when I click unsubscribe, a pop-up appears. Tell us why you're leaving us. Oh, God. A survey and an unsubscribe email. So I'm unsubscribing. I'm breaking up.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
And then I'm receiving a survey as to why I'm breaking up, which then I fill out and And then after I've unsubscribed and told them why I'm leaving, an hour later, I receive an email, we're sorry to see you go. And I'm like, the reason I'm breaking up with you is that you're a psycho that can't take cues. That's why this relationship is ending. I never wanted it.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
You come into my email box without consent. I try to end it. You're pathetic. You send me a multiple choice question as to why I want to end it. I fill it out. I pick one choice and that's not good enough. Then you go back and violate the original boundary that I drew when I clicked unsubscribe. You violate that boundary even if I told you why I unsubscribed.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. All right, listen, we're leading the rebellion into 2025. I just think it's just straight up rebellion. You're the attorney of the rebels.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Then you said, we're so sorry to see you go. We fucking broke up, you psycho. We're broken up. I'm wanting to ghost you and you are not allowing me to do it. Nobody addresses this. And it is every day I'm battling this, constantly battling this. I didn't sign up for any of this. I didn't even give these people my email address. And here they are all up in my crawl, all up in my email box.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Just terrorism left, right, center, up, down. Why don't you like us anymore? Why are you leaving us? Oh, we're so sad that you left us. You don't even fucking know me, L.L. Bean. We've never met. I've never even been in your store, for God's sakes. Quit stalking me. Stalking. Oh, I've just I've completely had it. Welcome to I've had it. Oh, I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Meet my meat curtains.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Kathy's here, which I think now I'd like to start calling her Katarina.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
Okay, I've got a five-star review for you titled Best ESL Material Ever, which stands for English as a Second Language. As an Asian immigrant living civilly in the States for over a decade, I started constantly using phrases like skirting, racket, yak mouth, and dog shit in conversations after binge-watching all of your amazing episodes. Does this make me sound smarter? No.
I've Had It
Toddler Terrorism
But has it improved my social skills? Definitely. So if English is your second language and you believe in equity, start your learning journey here and attend this school now. Very educational, highly recommended. The dean slash head coach slash janitor will wipe the floor with maggots.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We're going to go to lunch later and I'm going to hear about this. Just thank you so much.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I just want you to know right now, I'm not middle of the road.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Is that why you wear the pad? Yeah, the Sticky Audi Big Chief nipples. In fact, I saw one of my high school friends the other night and he was – because they used to call them the Big Chief nipples in high school because those big pencils. And he was like, how are the Big Chiefs?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
What I love about Chewy is that it has 24 hours customer service. So if I have a question at a weird time, I get to call and find out immediately.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
What I love about the IQ Bar is it's totally free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial sweeteners for a natural anytime snack. And the lemon blueberry is my favorite.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It's a great idea. Here's the problem with it. If I just wear the nipple cover – like the gravity, it sinks the boobs down. You've got more sag and drag. I've got more sag in my drag than a nipple cover can combat with. These are big problems in Trump's America. These are huge problems in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Yeah. It was a profile and courage on his part. And Katie Ann is a new nickname for Kyle's.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You're much better. I might have to drive him and pick him up. Here's the thing about that though. What's so, and I agree with you, you are, I mean, your default is nurse ratchet, but then you add the hypochondria and then now you add the ear surgery. So if it's something legitimately happened, I really do believe like if he had something real bad, I think he would be- I'm a good nurse.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. Because he went to the ENT like three days in a row about earwax.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
OK, I just want to say I don't accuse you of having chat GPT delusions. I accuse you of chat GPT being your friend. Like instead of going to lunch for a table for two, it's we're going to get a table for three and chat GPT. But that sounds to me like kind of that they're catfishing themselves with chat GPT kind of. Is that what you get out of it?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. Have an imaginary friend instead of like, okay, let's push everybody to go put their phone down and and go interact with other people in a park, in a dog park, in a library, like whatever. How diabolical is that?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
And I dare say Mark Zuckerberg, who is so unlikable, probably has very few friends, if I'm guessing. Here's the thing. A lot of these guys are so unlikable.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
comic movie the characters like Musk what he looks like and then Zuckerberg with the curly hair and then bald Jeff Bezos with his wife with all the it's really bizarre yeah it is especially when you think about you know for me when I think about like Jeff Bezos in particular I think look what he has done he has shit all
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
on the LGBTQIA plus community after he received an award for advocating for them. And then he is just taking, taking. He's on the inauguration stage for Trump while his wife, ex-wife, I'm sorry, his ex-wife quietly gives away millions or billions of dollars to help people. You never hear about helping people.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I just do. They just do. They just are able to step away. I mean, not saying women aren't egomaniacs, but they're able to step away and think more collectively about the good of other people where it seems like men are just we're in it for number one.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. I mean, that's what just drives me crazy about, you know, like Judge Jeanine on Fox and Laura Ingraham. It's like you are benefiting from women who came before you so that you can work like they just don't see it. I mean, it just makes me crazy that these women have achieved such success and they're not abdicating for anything but the patriarchy. We have to go over it again.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
It's not abdicating. Absolutely. Oh, right. It's advocating.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Oh, which reminds me. Whoever the asshole is that signed me up for AARP. Oh, it's two Gatriots. Two Gatriots did that. Yeah. Got a letter yesterday. I can get life insurance at a discount. And I opened it up and it said from AARP. And I was like, this fucking asshole.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
No, I don't think you could. Here's what I think happened. Okay. I think she probably was like squeezing her butt cheeks together trying to get to a potty. And this happened. I mean, it had to be locked and loaded. Like I've never, ever had that kind of aim and that kind of trajectory. I mean, that, I mean, I might be caught running and it slides out, but this was like...
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
She was able to get out of the car, bare ass, throw that shit right on top of the car. I mean, like that is a level of, you know, dynamics. I didn't even know existed, but I think she had to have been like holding it. You think she was incubating. Right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. I mean, it brings the crazy out in all of us. There's no question about that. But what I don't understand is like you, you're holding your ass cheeks together. You're trying to get to the potty. They cut you off, you know, all that. I don't know where the disconnect is where you're like, I'm going to get out of my car. I'm going to pull my pants down. I'm going to bare my ass.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
A targeted shit. A targeted. It was a strike. It was a targeted attack. It was a strike. And I mean, she shot that shit right. And I mean, that to me is like, wow.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You throw all that away. Whenever I've had an accident like that, I immediately throw everything away. I don't think there's enough machine washes that can get you through that. No, no, no, no, no. I just think about the person that took the video. That's like, she's thinking she's going to see a cat fight or something. Let's talk about the person whose car that happens to.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Let's take the debate from both sides. I want to talk to the shitter and the receiver. Here's the deal. I think probably if I'm the driver that's getting shit on, I'm probably thinking, oh my God, they want to fight me. That's my initial thing. What do you think when the pants start going down and you see a vag at first? I think, are they going to try to rape me? That's what I think. I mean,
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
that's what you think like why is she coming at me naked like she's wanting to sit on my face what's happening and I'm hitting lock lock lock lock lock on my door and then she turns around and puts her ass in my face and shit like projectile shits not just like a turd comes out it was impressive it was like a spray like a power wash spray Yeah. I just think you're so shocked at that point.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like there's no way I would get out of the car and confront her because I would think this bitch is crazy.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I don't think I could have the car anymore. You can't. You sold your car after somebody threw up in it. I did. I did. So you, of course, are getting rid of the car. Yeah. Okay. So what are you thinking if you're the person that's videoing? You're just seeing all this.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. I mean, there have been times. In the car with your son. In the car. But that, but. And this, I guess I'm surprised about the control.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Could you at that point? Honestly, and this is the truth, I do not have the creativity to think to do that. Like it would never occur to me. Like maybe now it would occur to me. I don't think I could execute it. But it would never – like here's what I'm going to do in retaliation to you doing something mean to me.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I'm going to rip down my pants and take a diarrhea projectile shit on the hood of your car. Like I don't know how that got in her head. You're not that innovative of a shitter. No, I'm not that innovative. I am running, running, running.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I bought the Cola Walnut desk because it was the perfect size for the space I needed. And I also got the Girvin office chair and it is so comfy.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
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I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You know what I just thought of? Like when this woman gets to court, the shit are charging her with all these crimes. The judge will have to know what the circumstances are. I have a great idea.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
The intentional infliction of emotional distress on her vehicle.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
This could take us over the top because I dare say a jury of 12 would find that that was emotionally distressing to the person sitting in her car watching all that happen.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. Well, all these – to start with, I had a senior last year. I mean, the awards. Why do we have so many awards? It's ridiculous. I don't think we need it. I mean, we've had participation trophies from Jump with all these activities. I mean, the award ceremonies, the things like the events that involve parents – For a senior in high school, it blows my mind.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. Get the court records. Go on the court. You can call for extra public credit. Get the camera operators. This just occurred to me. The shitter, when she's being asked questions about it post, you know, after the fact, there's no remorse. Read us that quote.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You know, that's one thing we can thank MAGA for is there's no remorse in this gal. She's doubling down. She's like, fuck it. I didn't beat her up.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Yeah. All right. We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Thursday. Shut up. You always do that and now I'm paranoid about it.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like when I graduated, my parents went to the graduation. That was it. Now we have 40 separate different, you know, little events that we have to go to that the parents are involved in. I'm like, why are the parents this involved?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right. And in fact, we didn't. Well, it's like the greatest generation, the biggest generation of titty babies. And then I want to swing back to the point you made about this other mother saying, well, that's not true. Mind your own fucking business. If I don't want to go to the awards, if I don't want to go to the film, that is my right.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
You don't need to get on and tell me that what I should and shouldn't do. Like, why do you care? Why do you care?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Oh, yeah. I remember when I left all the group meets, and it was glorious. It felt liberating. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, HBIC, head beaver, in charge.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Yeah. We will continue to be the head beavers in charge to the end. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with...
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Well, absolutely. And here's another thing. Do you ever get tired of playing the role of victim that everybody's out to get you, that it's a witch hunt, the judges are against you? Why is no one seen like... Did no one's parent ever tell them, if you're mad at everybody and you think everybody is against you, it's probably you?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I remember that so clearly coming home, like in middle school, and all the little girls were mad at me in my friend group. And I was like, so-and-so's mad at me, so-and-so's mad at me, so-and-so's mad at me. My mom goes, if everybody's mad at you in your friend group, that tells me it's you. Like, you're the problem. None of these people have ever considered, like, look inward.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
is when you buy a sports bra that has padding in it and then you wash it and the pad comes out and you have to replace the padding and you can never get it quite right why don't they just sew the pads in the bra why am i chasing through my washing machine these pads i feel like it ruins everything so i went yesterday to buy
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Maybe I can do better. It's just gross. And the whining from all the alpha males, it's just more than I can take. More than I could take.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, I was just going to say when you're thinking that, like, I applaud you that you're thinking, you know, what is their take on this? They're hearing this. Are they applying it? It is like two separate worlds over their head type situation.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Right, but I'm saying in that moment, they are thinking... We are different. We are special. We know the truth because we follow the megachurch proclamations. So it's an inability to apply intellectual curiosity and critical thinking as reality. you know, completely polar opposite of what they believe. They don't see that they're counterintuitive. They just don't.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Well, no, I'm saying that they think they have all those things. They think they are critical thinkers. They think they're, they are getting to the truth. Like they are, you know, they know all the truth because they believe in the Bible. They don't, I mean, they're curious because they're stopping the deep state.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Like they don't see that they are at the, you know, polar opposite of what you're talking about. They think they've got it. They think they've got all the answers. That's terrifying.
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
I'm just going to say that's really going to get it going. What the fuck?
I've Had It
Sh*t Happens in Trump's America
Okay, so it's almost as bad as being a centrist. Maybe worse. Jennifer claims to be middle of the road.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I don't know about that. I think maybe you think we're the pride of Oklahoma City.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I'm just, I just feel like it makes things go too fast. I don't like it. I like to observe the natural order.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
How many do you listen to? Okay. So I watch podcasts at night on YouTube instead of like TV. Okay. So I probably do, I probably do five or six a day. Now I'll fast forward.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
No, I, are there synopsis? I guess there are. Yeah, in the YouTube notes. Yeah, no, I watch them online on YouTube. That's what I do primarily. And then I ride around the car with like one or two, depending on how much I'm in the car.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Can you troubleshoot this for us? Workshop it? Tell them about what happened the other day. Okay, so we arrive in Oklahoma City. We're on time. And as you know, it's not a booming like 50, 60, 70 planes landing at the same time. So we pull up and park. just away from all the gates. And they said, are gates not ready for us yet?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So we sat for 20 minutes waiting for a gate while there were at least 10 to 15 other gates. Free gates.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Free gates. American. American. But we were like, so she and I, of course, were bitching to each other like, why wouldn't we go to another gate? This seems so inefficient. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And this guy turned around and goes, I think it's going to be real soon. Like he was trying to put a pacifier in our mouth.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
A fellow passenger was just like, these ladies are going to go bananas.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Right. No one will ever think that. And then everybody immediately goes, oh my gosh, it's a cock ring. Oklahoma City has a cock ring. Or is this the gay agenda?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I had to schedule it. One thing she said, and I want to see what you thought about this. She said mayors are pragmatists more than they are politicians. Would you agree with that? Oh, absolutely.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Okay, what about when somebody asks you that question, like, what's your favorite movie? And you tell them. And then they start telling you how that's a terrible movie. Like, they argue with you about what your opinion is about something subjective. Have you ever had that happen? Yes, which is why I'm not answering these questions anymore.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
That's a great flip the script. I really like that. Yeah. How about what's your favorite stupid question other than the one you just asked me?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
The best part about Sunday's food for dogs for me is that it's 90% meat and 10% superfoods and zero synthetic nutrients.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I am so famous that I am the number one podcaster with all WWE fans and UFC fans. I'm their favorite. I agree.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
People could be visiting to watch the Oklahoma City Thunder and get the click, click, click, click, click.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Sometimes it is. When they want you to tip yourself, I don't like that. Have you had that yet?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Like at CVS, if you go to CVS right now and self-checkout, it'll ask you if you want to leave a tip.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Did you have a question? No, I was just sitting here thinking I could talk to you forever. Like, I kind of feel better after I talk to you. Wow.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Okay, what I've had it with, which this is annual. If you're a two-year listener, you know this is my annual bitch every November. Why are we putting Christmas before Thanksgiving? My neighborhood is full of Christmas lights. They're already on. On my walk this weekend, we have reindeers and Santa sleighs in front yards already. It's not been Thanksgiving.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
I could not agree more. In fact, I have a shit talking story. Would you like to hear it? Yes. Okay. It's about your husband. Okay. Okay. So recently, Jennifer's husband, Josh, he needed a favor. And he needed that favor from me. And so he needed me to take him to pick up his car that was in the shop. So I said, of course, I'll help you. I would love to help you. So we go out to the car.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
And he was going to have to sit in the back seat because Jennifer was in the front seat. And he threw on his... One to ten, ten being the biggest tantrum ever seen by a person in the history of the world, where would you rate his temper tantrum about sitting in the back seat?
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
You think? It was more of a passive aggressive. So he starts wiping the seat down, which to his credit, I do have a Siberian Husky that gets hair on it. But he's like wiping the car and he's sulking and he's huffing and he's puffing. And I said, Josh, just let me get in the backseat. I'll just get in the backseat so you don't have to worry about it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So he gets in the backseat or he gets in the driver's seat. He's driving my car. So then I'm in the backseat. And I said, we need to stop and get gas. And he goes, okay. well, can't you get it after you drop me off? And I said, Josh, I'm sitting in the backseat of my own car because you're such a titty baby. So I think that you should be in charge of getting the gas.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
So anyway, he gets the gas, I drop him off and we're getting out of the car. And he actually says to me, when he gets out of the driver's side and I get around from the back, he goes, you look really cute today, except now you have dog hair all over the back of you. And I looked at him and I go, fuck you.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
The best part about Josh is as annoying as he is, that story tickled me for two or three days.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Can we not have Thanksgiving before Christmas? I've had it. Not to mention the radio stations, which I never listened to, but I was flipping through with sports. They're already full-blown Christmas. I've had it. Thanksgiving is first. That's the natural order. Thanksgiving, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. That's how it goes. We're rushing Christmas. I've had it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Oh, my God. That's just... I've been there. I have been her. I mean, it is the absolute worst. I mean, and then you have to... Not only did you shit all over yourself in a public place, which that's the worst. Like you think that I can't get any lower than that. But then the next thing you know, you're having to hide the evidence in a public restroom. And then you're having to slink to your car.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
Then your car's just a disaster area. No, I've been there. I feel her pain. I get it. Completely get it.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
It's amazing how great Quince products are. My favorite are the soft denim items. And then they have great leather jackets.
I've Had It
Mental Self-Checkout
There's no question we were breathtakingly incompetent. We were overwhelmed at the thought of shipping, packaging, all the things you have to do to sell merchandise until we found Shopify.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
A lot of good stuff. Our reviews, we're still getting them. And I'm going to read you two of them. This one is five stars titled Seeking a Prom Date. And they write, dearest Angelina Pumpkin Tina, is there any chance you might be free the evening of April 28th? I'm a single dad and a high school French teacher and I got conned into chaperoning prom again. Sounds awful, right?
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
Not when we're taking bets on who's going to cry first. It is a people watching promised land and it is never disappointed. And don't stress, I can sneak your vape in. We could probably play it off as the fog machine. The theme is Casino Royale, and I've seen these math grades. You could take home a nice little profit, too. We can probably achieve that in about 30 minutes, and then we're out.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
My mom won't want pictures, but she's cool, corsage included. And then they left their Instagram handle.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
We absolutely do. Fuck both of you so hard. Pumps, this time, instead of Photoshopping you uglier to disguise you, I Photoshopped you super smooth and beautiful. Did you yassify her? I yassified her. Okay. Is she getting lots of hits? Yeah. Oh, my. So they can look forward to that soon. Is it on, like, the MAGA website still? It's on a lot of websites.
I've Had It
No D**k Energy
I found... I mean, maybe we can just wait for the episode. We need to dive into all those. Okay, we've got voice memos today. And up first... I still think you should go out with him. Oh, my God. I hate her. We're going to listen to Claire. Claire.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Right. Well, that's just sexual frustration and not being able to be liberal. with their sexuality and do what they want.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
It's so insulting. You can change it if you want. Conversion camp, the whole nine.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
That is real. I checked. People are going to buy that. Just I'm telling you. People think, oh, my gosh, breast milk. It's so good for you. I'll have some. I mean, I don't know what it tastes like. I don't know. I mean, if you want to drink the ice cream, swing for the fences. But people are fucking weird.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I did have a couple of people shame me, try to shame me with, uh, my oldest, but I wasn't breastfeeding.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I feel like when you're on a trip, you're a little more liberated because you have more time, obviously. And then you're just in such a great mood. You're like, oh, I'm going to get this.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
So shopping and trips for you go together. What about you? Yeah. I'm just not a huge buyer. No. I do like to go on trips, but I'm also a homebody. So I can see it both ways. Okay.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah, I agree. I just think it's just really sad when you can do a study on menu anxiety. Like that's how nitty gritty we're taking it, that everything has become such a pressure point that what you're ordering for lunch is anxiety inducing. The mothers are fucking nuts. I just don't think mothers used to be this crazy.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I don't think when we were little – and maybe we did and our moms weren't power moms, so we just didn't know it was happening. But I feel like power moms are on steroids now. I just think it used to not be that way. I don't know if it's social media. I don't know what the deal is, but it's ridiculous.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
It's embarrassing. Why do you think that he thinks... It's not embarrassing to ask for five dollars to take his wife for an anniversary dinner. A. B. Why do you think he thinks anybody gives a frog's fat ass that he's taking his wife out to dinner and or that it's their anniversary? What is wrong with this person?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I would even go so far as to say it's a teeny weeny peeny. Yeah. I mean, here's the deal. The problem is not only this guy, it's the people that give him $5. They're at fault too. It's the congregation.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I think he's 100% right. Why do Democrats always have to be nice? Why do we have to, like you said earlier, explain everything? Why do we have to be the one that meets people halfway through? Because one thing that struck out to me, the juvenile, until Donald Trump, politicians didn't call each other names, like derogatory names, like Little Marco, Ron DeSanctimonious.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
which may or may not be true. But then they get so mad, like when Jasmine Crockett makes a comment about Greg Abbott. Fucking had it. Pull the gloves off. Quit being nice.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
White women are a huge disappointment. The overwhelming majority are a huge disappointment because they are internalized misogyny, which I grew up with. So I've seen it firsthand. I get it. That's how my house was growing up. But it's just how can you vote against your own children, whether they're boys or girls? Reproductive freedom. I mean, all this DEI. I mean, hateful, mean.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I completely agree with you. I also think when you look at all the evidence that we've accumulated over the last at least seven or eight years, you have a situation where you can tell MAGA people, okay, this you tell them that Joe Biden did something, but it was really what Donald Trump did. And they just, oh my gosh, that's terrible. He's the worst.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
And then you say, oh no, actually Donald Trump did that. And they're like, oh no, I think it's fine then. So there's no rational thought. They're not tethered to reality. And it's hard to argue rational with irrational people. You also have a situation where The gaslighting, they don't want facts. They just want to be fed the confirmation bias.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Right. If you're going to go down that road, you have to go all the way. You can't go to the hospital halfway through and say, oh, I would like the medicine. Get your rattlesnake. You just go all the way in. Have you seen this? I get so tickled on it when I'm scrolling on Instagram and it'll say, has anybody noticed that all the anti-vaxxers are on Ozempic? Oh, yeah.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
So I do think it's becoming harder and harder to talk to people. My only thing that I'm thinking is now that the economy is just in a shithole tank and rural Oklahomans and rural other people and people that voted for Trump are now going to feel it so intensely economically that it might open a little caveat for some intellectual factors. Conversation. Intellectual is a big word there, Pumps.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
They're not going to take the vaccine because they don't know what's in it. Yeah. But to lose weight, they'll tell you.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah. No, I can only imagine it would be depressing. I mean, we know who he you know, he's got Laura Loomer in there. He's got the pillow guy. I mean, he I think he and the pillow guy broke up. You think the pillow guy is too crazy for Trump or did he lost all his money? So I haven't seen him around the second term. But I mean, what I think about like Laura Loomer in there, Peter Navarro.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yes. Just a dork. What I don't get is somebody who's that vain, why isn't he on Ozempic? You know what? That's a great question. I think about that every time I see him in those big, huge suits. I think, you've bilked the American people out of billions of dollars. Yeah. pay the 500 bucks a month and get on his impact.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Like you look at – Barack Obama, the day he entered the White House, the day he left the White House. The age fall, I mean, they look like shit. After your president, like, we were worried about Kamala Harris. Like, she's so pretty and put together. She's going to look like shit in four years. Donald Trump went into the White House. He looked the exact same when he came out of the White House.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
The contrast was the criminal trial. He aged a ton during that time because he gave a fuck what happened. He's the only president in the history of the world. It's like a mess before and after picture when you're the president of the United States. Not for him. No, because he doesn't care. No, he doesn't care. And now it's really, really bad.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
You know, he's golfing and he's doing all this and that. Because he knows he's a lame duck. But yeah, it is striking. It strikes me that he should be on Ozipic. Anyway, I don't know why. I think you used to tell me this. He looks in the mirror and he thinks you're hot.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Okay. It might open them up to looking just a little bit on the other side. But I think the first thing is they're going to have to say, my dear leader that I've pledged all this alliance to and undying loyalty fucked me. And I think that's going to be hard for people.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
There's no question I did. I got dunked twice. Why twice? A double dunker?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I have to say I've thought about that same group, wondering what they're thinking. Like amongst their circles, they would never say it in front of us. Right. But if they're talking in their circles, like, you know, because it was always, well, Trump's so good for the economy. And now if they're saying, well, he might not have been that great for the economy. Let me ask you this.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I just always have to add that. Yeah. Okay. Welcome. I've had him, Jennifer. I'm Angie, the HBIC head beaver in charge. Someone came up to me at the Thunder Game and was like, oh, my gosh, you're the head beaver. I was like, fucking damn right I am.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
I want to say that I just couldn't do it on principle. Like, I just don't think I could.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
The only thing like in my head when you were talking about it, for just an instant, like I look at people in MAGA hats and MAGA shirts and I'm just like, I kind of want to know if they feel it. So if I had the hat on, I would just want to see, like, do most people do like I do and act like a skunk just farted when they see people with a MAGA hat? Or are they just oblivious to it?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, Gayatriots, Thatriots. I nailed it. I'm doing so good on that. You nailed it. How much, what have you had it with? I've had it with people that don't pick up their trash in a public setting. Okay. Why does someone think that somebody else should be in charge of picking up their trash? And specifically, I mean like airports, basketball games, big public spaces.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah. I just don't like a lot of trash. You're a trash leader. Yeah. It bugs me. And I'll tell you what else bugs me. And it's getting ready to happen because the kids are moving home. When kids just continue to throw trash in the trash can and they push it down. Yes. Instead of just taking it out. Just take it out. If it's overflowing, take it out, you stupid asshole.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
But I remember she could have had like five heads and we would have been less- like, oh my gosh, look, look, look, look, look. I mean, we were freaking out. Like, honestly, like something was terribly wrong with her, which when you think about it, it is. But I kind of wonder, she had the whole MAGA look.
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
Yeah, it's really bad. But yeah, I there's a on my drive to and from work. There's a house that has a MAGA flag and a United States flag. And I have thought about like every day for two weeks, pulling into the driveway, knocking on the door and saying, so what do you think now? How's it going?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
No, I'd probably get shot. Yeah, you'd get shot. But I mean, I do have this fantasy of torturing the person. All right, Kylie, what's going on on the World Wide Web?
I've Had It
Trump Thinks He's Hot
What's so great about BetterHelp is it's normally 50% cheaper than in-person therapy, so it doesn't have to feel like a luxury with self-help and wellness.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think that's all we have for our intro today, listener. We do have a guest today. And our guest is comedian and actor. His name is Roy Wood Jr. And he has a special called Lonely Flowers that is going to drop on Hulu on January 17th. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. As promised, we're back with our guest, comedian and actor Roy Wood Jr. Roy, how are you today?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yes. You know, the thing about ugly people kissing each other, of course we want ugly people to kiss each other. Of course they should do that. I just don't want to see it. I think when it comes to PDA, you know, we need to have some sort of... Like a minimum threshold. A minimum threshold of attractiveness.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I think that we are so desperate that any sort of attention we greet with a smile.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Thank you for your service. Let me ask you this. As a connoisseur of watching PDA, where is it too far? What physical movements would you kind of go, okay, you just took it a little bit too far? What's acceptable and unacceptable in PDA?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Hey, they took the time out of their day. to comment on how bitter and how haggish we are. And so, I mean, kudos to them. It could be love. It's passion. It is. It's something. It is something. Yes, because I certainly don't spend my spare time commenting on podcasters' social media accounts that I don't like. Right. What I do when I don't like somebody is I have nothing to do with any of it.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Do you know who Congresswoman Lauren Boebert is? Oh, yeah. You're talking about Beetlejuice Handjob. That's exactly what I'm talking about.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So what do we think about that? What do we think about the handjob at Beetlejuice while vaping? Which is, I mean, she's doing two things at a time. She's vaping and giving a handjob.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Barbershop 2 back in business. Were you able to execute? Were you able to take it over the finish line? Or was this a failed attempt?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So do you think workplace romances should be judged on a case-by-case basis?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I agree with you. I think there is obviously like a Matt Lauer situation, which is unacceptable. And we would all agree that there's no space for that in a Fortune 500. But what you're talking about, I agree that society puts this – Puritan-like judgment on that. And we don't know what the state of their marriages were before. And it's really nobody's business.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
But the fact that they choose to get divorced and choose to stay together really shouldn't be the business of the consumers. And I think this is a very American Puritan judgment about sex that we have to get rid of because It's like in France, this kind of shit goes on all the time and nobody thinks anything of it. But this is a uniquely American puritanical bullshit judgment thing.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Anyway, I want to share a story with you. Okay. What I've had it with. I've had it with drivers that intentionally provoke road rage on purpose. Okay. And the other morning, I was going to an appointment that was at 7 a.m. And so I left my house around 6.40 a.m.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I know the couple that you're talking about. And I don't think it's my business. And I thought they were both good at their jobs and good for them for being in love.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Right. I'm far more concerned when it comes to Joe and Mika about them slinking off to Mar-a-Lago to kiss the ring of Donald Trump without bringing their cameras. That bothers me far more than whatever slap and tickle took place before they did that.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Let me ask you this. Was the girlfriend at Golden Corral and O2 the same person at Barbershop 2, or is this different?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
All right. Well, what else is on your list of grievances? What's next?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I know. We're huge OKC Thunder fans. Shout out. Oh, they are running the earth right now. We are crushing it. Do they ever lose? No, never. I was just at the Boston Thunder game two days ago. It was magnificent. Shout out to the team. Love you guys.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And as I'm going through a light, right when I hit like the right where I'm about to cross into the intersection, it goes from green to yellow. So I'm totally golden to go on through. At the same time, this guy who is in the lane that's going to cross the street the other way pulls out about, I don't know, 40% into the intersection.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Okay. If, let's say, the crazy billionaires, if they opened up a Jurassic Park, would you go there?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Okay. Roy, now we're going to play a game with you called had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. Had it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it, circling back emails.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So I have to stop because I'm afraid that I'm going to crash into him. And he kind of looks at me and I kind of look at him and I thought, it's early, whatevs. And the light I look up, it's still yellow at this time. So I have to kind of go around him. Well, he turns right so that he can be behind me. And then he gets in the lane next to me. And then I hear his engine rev up.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
That's inspiration for me to take into 2025 because I'm pretty pissed off heading into this new year. And I like that. I like that a lot. Okay. Had it or hit it. Masculine commercials.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
He speeds up so that he can be in front of me. But he's in the lane to the left of me. So we're in opposing lanes. But we're in parallel lanes but going the same direction. He has one of those illuminated middle finger things. I've seen those. That you've seen online. So he can light it up. And he starts repeatedly flipping me off with his little sign that he had installed into his car.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah, I think we all are. I mean, you know, it's one of these things, like, where it's terrifying, but also, like— something delicious about watching the train wreck. And that's, I think indicative of how screwed up we've all become the last nine years, you know, that it's, that we all haven't just, you know, retreated into nihilism. So I don't know.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So let's talk about your comedy special. It's dropping on January 17th, three days before Trump's America begins on Hulu. And it's called Lonely Flowers.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I thought to myself, this little pink arm motherfucker. Right. So we get to the next light and we're right next to each other. So I just go ahead and roll down my window. I mean, guns be damned. Right. So I just go ahead and roll down my window and lean over and I go, do you feel better about yourself? Mind you, it's like 640 a.m. Right. This guy is such a pussy. He will not look at me.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah. And I'm, I'm with you like intellectually, I think, yes, we need more human interaction and this is what's missing. And then I go out and interact with humans. And then I think I want the fucking self-checkout. And then when I get to the self-checkout, it's wanting me to tip and donate and do all this shit. And then I'm like, oh my God, I want the humans. So I don't know what's going on.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I'm both a part of the problem and a part of the solution. But at the end of the day, when I do spend time with other people, like this fantastic nonstop award-winning podcast that we just episode that is going to obviously go viral that we've just recorded with you. I feel better. I like hearing your take on life and it's the connections that our listeners are hearing right now, hearing us talk.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I do think that with all of the AI that's coming out, AI accounts that's coming out, that human connection is going to be so much more important. So I think I'm going to have to Be a big girl. Get on my big girl panties. And when I go to check out, if the registered lady is annoying, I need to just embrace it and just answer right back.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I don't really want to donate to that today, but I really do like that lipstick shade on you. You know, just start giving what, what I need and just, and I'm, I'm, you know what, I'm going to start the charm offensive in 2025. First of all, I'm going to circle back like the motherfucker that you are. I'm going to, I'm going to try to match that energy, which I don't know that I can do.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think you're probably going to be undefeated. But secondly, what I've learned from you, Roy, is we need to start the retail charm offensive and we need to be super kind to to all of these people out there working in all of these places that provide services.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And then you'd laugh about crazy people. Right, and you can make it juicy. You can get some tea and bring that back. Roy, I'm telling you, I can't wait to watch your special.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Roy, it has been so much fun having you on. You are fantastic. I know our listeners have loved this and I want to direct everybody to Hulu to listen to, I'm sorry, to watch Lonely Flowers, your standup special dropping January 17th.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Get your shit together. Right. You know what? Give me an email address because I'm going to start circling back to that thing until the next time you show up with a goddamn camera that works, Roy.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Nothing. He is acting like I'm not even there. And I'm like, oh, so now I'm really starting to feel emboldened. So I'm like, oh, so now you don't have flip me off with your own finger. Can you flip me off with your own finger? Can you not do that? And he's just like, you know, grasping the steering wheel for dear life. So here's what I think this guy does.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I like it. I'm bringing it. I'm absolutely bringing it. All right. Thanks so much, Roy. Thanks, Roy. All right.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
It's really heartwarming and as big of assholes as we are. Right. I agree with him that when you go to these places, instead of being so irritated at people that are doing their jobs or asking questions. Just how are you doing today? Just show some kindness because everybody's struggling. Everybody has to live in Trump's America.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
You know, and so I think that that his advice on that is really good. And if you want to make it juicier, you can. So, you know, I'm I'm I hated circlebacks. Now I'm going to embrace them. Although I am a circleback or I'm a huge emailer.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Oh, no, I had a percent. He is full blown. hashtag inspo's hashtag mood board for me hashtag manifest it all right pumps tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday i'll tell you what i've had it with let's hear it i'm at it with that Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think he saw this little sign that you could buy to put on the back of your car to flip people off with a little digital remote control. And he thought, oh, this is fantastic. And he gets up in the morning and he creates instances where he had the red light.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I clearly had the right of way where he knew he was going to create some form of me being pissed at him for him protruding into the intersection. And then he tries to create this whole thing so that he can use a sign. And then I get right next to him and this guy doesn't have the balls to flip me off with his own finger.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Because if he wanted to flip me off with his own finger as soon as we got next to each other, if he doubled down, I'd still think he was a nut, but I would respect it. But the fact that he had to hide behind his little sign and then death grip his steering wheel, I just thought, you know, this is the perfect example of a quote unquote alpha male.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Will not... When we got to... After he flipped me off four or five times, I thought, oh, he's so proud of his new sign. Right. I wasn't even that worked up. But I thought, I'm going to pull up next time. So I rolled down my window. I was like, do you feel better now? Like, you know, 640 in the morning on a Tuesday. Do you feel good about yourself now? Can we all go on with our day?
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Will not look at me. And I'm like... come on come on at least put your finger out flip me off with your own hand won't do it what a i mean just a titty baby deluxe welcome to i've had it i'm jennifer i'm angie all right i have some news stories i would like to share um this i believe this this is a study that says people who walk fast tend to be less happy in life
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I have to say, I am a very fast walker. You are a very fast walker. Those are facts. We have a podcast called I've Had It that has a negative, unhappy premise to it. So I would say kudos to you, scientists.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I worry about how on earth Kylie has any dopamine or serotonin because I think she gets like 800 steps per day. On a good day. On a good day.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah. Zip it, Kylie, that we have a brand to protect. Okay. The next story that I thought was pretty good news. Millennial dads spend three times more time with their kids than their father spent with them. Millennial dads are taking on parenthood with a newfound sense of responsibility, spending triple the time with their kids compared to the past. Right.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Research shows a big change in how parents share responsibilities with the number of dads who've never changed a diaper dropping from 43% in 1982 to just 3% today. Oh my gosh, that is great news.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And I know a frustration that we both had when our kids were really little is like I would go out of town for like maybe a day or two and I'd get back and Josh would say, I babysat the kids. Right. And I'm like – No, you didn't babysit the kids. You lived your life in the house with the humans that live there with you. That's not babysitting. That's not a job. That's just waking up and being Josh.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
That's what that is. And so I hope that that kind of gets dismantled because I found that to be very frustrating. And I think a lot of Gen X baby boomers, they felt like anything they did for the kids was extra because all of the roles were so squarely put on a woman's shoulders. And I think that was just... It's just really unfair.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think you'll really like this news story. Okay. It's right in your wheelhouse. Excellent. Sperm count has declined almost 50% in men across the globe in recent decades. This trend has been observed globally with potential causes including lifestyle factors such as poor diet, obesity, smoking and stress as well as environmental exposure to toxins like pesticides and plastics.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Sedentary habits, prolonged heat exposure, and hormonal imbalances may also contribute to this decline, highlighting the multifaceted nature of the issue.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Yeah, it's it doesn't surprise me one bit. And I think a lot of the reason that people are so much less happy and like happiness factors are decreasing is because we're not moving. Like it is just this total sedentary lifestyle. And when I sit around too much, I am not happy. I do not feel good. We're the opposite that way. Like the more you lounge, the more your happier factor goes up.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
If I lounge too much, I start to feel this depressive like state or I feel some form of anxiety. But, you know, it's going to be interesting to see like all the GLP-1s, Ozempic, WeGoVee. Josh and I were out recently. And we were at a basketball game.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And he was like, let's look in the audience and see if we can like spot the people that are on Ozempic or WeGoBeat because of the hollowed out cheeks. Right. And so it's going to be interesting like how all of this plays down. Everything is a quick fix. Right. Nobody ever has to do the work for anything anymore. Like you want something delivered to your house, click it on your phone.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
It's there in 10 minutes. You want to lose weight, you get a shot. You want, you know, to date somebody, you get on your app. And so I wonder what the long term, I don't think we'll live long enough to see like this, all of the skirting the system, what the impact is going to be on our species. Right.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Right. It's got to. Particularly Americans, there is a pill for everything because we have fallen prey so much to big pharma. And the amount of pills that Americans take compared to other countries is staggering. It is staggering. And it's because of all the capitalism in the country.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
So I think it's going to be really interesting, like when we're older, much older, and we have like grandchildren, seeing what the impact, I don't think it's going to be good.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
I think the penis is the penis and the sex drive is the sex drive. I would love to, you know, I would love for there to be a study that came out that said that MAGA men took more erectile dysfunction than other men. And I welcome... the scientists to do that study. But my gut tells me that sex drive is a universal genetically encoded type thing.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Caw-caw! All right, listen up. It's New Year. Same old bitter us. Yes. I mean, we are not changing, if anything. I want to find more things to be pissed off about in 2025. Yes, and I'm finding it easier all the time. It really is. It's just getting easier. It's getting so much easier to be an asshole.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
Let me ask you this. We get a lot of piling on in critiques of us. Right. Particularly the bitter old hag. And do you apply that same anger and grievance towards the piling on in the comment section of them calling us bitter old hags? Because it's unoriginal and overused. Yeah. I would, but there's a little bit of truth to it. There is.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
And that the skirting of trying to get a more fantastic erection would be universal. All right, Kylie, what's going on on the internet? I've got a couple reviews for you.
I've Had It
Two Uglies Make Beauty
What a nice review. I like that. Yeah. You know, even assholes like us can, people can find the goodness, you know, that shows you how unique and amazing our listeners are. And smart. That they see goodness in us. Into washed up, old, and just for the record, I don't think I've said this that much in 20, 25 years. Here we go. Significantly, significantly older people. Than I am. So, all right.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And you know what's so amazing about that? 95% of them are evangelical Christians that have God, Jesus, pray, whatever in their bios.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Right. When I hear a presidential candidate talking about Hannibal Lecter and sharks being electrocuted in windmills, I immediately know that. That's not somebody I want to put my faith and trust in, but not these people. Did we get a bunch? I never look at that.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Right. He's our DEI hire because we like... Female lesbians. That's correct. Because as we all know, as you've said, lesbians should rule the world.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Okay. I have this frame and I love it. What's so great about it is you can upload pictures constantly. So they're changing all the time and you get to recap your memories every time you see it.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I'll tell you what. I would have been surprised about this 10 years ago. Now, I'm not at all surprised. I can't believe it's not higher. After what we've seen, you know, just in the last – and maybe it's just because I've started paying attention as I've gotten older. You know, in my 20s, I didn't give a fuck.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
No, I didn't mean that. But I'm just saying as you go through your life, like you're not interested in what's going on with executives or whatever until you start being a consumer and an adult. You know what I mean? So in the last 10 years, I've really noticed how, well, probably longer than that.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Sometimes you do, though. We've always had these fantasy chew outs and fantasy letters like hate mail that we'd write to people and chew out conversations that we'd role play. And so this to me is the same thing. I'll tell you why I don't text it. I'm so worried they're going to see the bubbles. Yeah.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So I do all the imaginary role play in my head, but I'm... Why do you care if they see the bubbles or not? I don't know. I mean, you're 55 years old. Like, why do you give a shit if somebody sees your bubbles? I just don't like people to know when I'm responding. I like to let it ride. But I like to just say, okay, or just not respond.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah, no, I agree. I think it's a lot of sexism and the ladylike. And I think that as we're evolving, you know, the gender stereotypes are incrementally hopefully getting a little better. I feel like there's a backlash right now with all the trad wife stuff. But that's just sexism.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's really sickening. And you know what I was thinking when you were talking? I agree with you. All of these people, they're okay with lies. They're okay with criminals. But... I have family members that are triple Trumpers. If I brought home a boyfriend slash fiance and said, here's my fiance, he's got 34 felony convictions, they would immediately tell me this was a bad idea.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Right. I mean, we are children advocates around here. I would say that's how I was always taught my whole life. And it is a burden that you carry without even realizing you carry it, that you're a sinner, that you might go to hell, all that. I mean, it's just when you're indoctrinated with it from a young age, you do carry it. I do. I did. Less so now. You don't care.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I mean, I think I can be a real dick sometimes, but I think that's completely irrelevant to who I am as a person.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah. It's way too harsh and it fucks with people. You know, you're putting your kid in a situation that they shouldn't be in at such a young age.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I also think it's kind of skirting the system. There's so much skirting, so much skirting in evangelical Christianity. You fucked this up. You fucked 50 women. You did all this. But you're saved again. So all's forgiven. You're good. So much skirting. No personal growth required. Kylie, what do you think about all that?
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So how do you reconcile that you're okay with the most powerful office in the land being a criminal, but yet you wouldn't want your daughter to be engaged to somebody that had 34 felony counts? And I 100% know.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Well, and that's the thing about the hypocrisy and why it's so easy to point out the hypocrisy of evangelicals because they're running around on Grindr. Then they're minimizing people that do the exact same thing they do. And they think they're better than them. They think that they are inherently better.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Oh, well, that would be fantastic. But here's the deal. I guarantee you those like the Joel Osteen and the Scientology, those leader guys, their security is so much better than Pete Hegseth's. Like we can get on a signal app and do war plans before we'd be able to get these motherfuckers search histories. I promise you.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I completely agree with all that, but I just think the level of security they've built in to keep their secrets, you know, like the Jerry Falwell thing, that eventually, or Junior fell apart because the wife's banging the pool boy and he's watching and all that. At some point they crack, but I just feel like these super high mega church with all of the money, they protect the money at all costs.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
I just had no idea how much your hair thins as you get older. So I pop mine on when I'm watching a show or when I'm doing chores. It's so easy and I really have noticed a difference.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
What I like about Roe is it offers you support throughout the entire process while you're on GLP-1s. So if you have any questions or concerns, you can go straight to the provider.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
No, absolutely. And you know what else runs through the common of all that? Lowest education, highest gun ownership, murder, like all the bad things. And like teen pregnancy rates. That's the amazing part about it. That's the... Abstinence doesn't work because if you look through the buckle of the Bible belt, highest teen pregnancy rate, also abortion.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Well, you have up to 10 kids. I'm going to start with that from the jump. I mean, like too many kids is a huge red flag in my opinion. I just think it's a huge red flag. I do too.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah. Seems like that's it. Yeah. Yeah. We saw that one in California, but we were in LA, which made it even more shocking. But I will say this. The wearing no shirt old man with the MAGA hat is less alarming to me, which there is nothing grosser, don't get me wrong. It is less alarming than you seeing an 18-year-old with the MAGA hat on.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
That terrifies me more than the old man that I can picture watching Fox News. It's the young kids wearing MAGA hats. That's what scares me.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah, I'm shocked. I'm very disappointed. I could see that happening here in Oklahoma City, but I'm shocked it's going on there. That is the most obnoxious, rude, most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Absolutely. And that's just offensive and gross. And how about the woman or the mother acting like she's offended that you're offended? Like, shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to watch anybody else shit while they eat, regardless of age.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Did I tell you I saw one for 2027? Yeah, we discussed it. Two year. I mean, like, shut the fuck up. It's Power Mom on a whole new level. Now we're shitting in public. I can't take it. Power Mom should be outlawed. Should be law.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Completely agree with all that. I'll tell you what I found interesting because I don't usually watch TV that has commercials. But during the Super Bowl, which those ads are exponentially more expensive than normal, I saw three or four different like Jesus loves you, Jesus gets you at the highest rate of the entire year to pay for those ads. And that's what I was struck by.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
So they're paying triple plus premium for these ads. Well, the part...
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's completely strange. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie, the HBIC head beaver in charge because beavers fuck with you when you're not watching. And it's the mascot of Canada. And I do think beavers have premarital sex. And I think it's shame free. They do.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
They mate for life. Yeah, they're soulmates. Beavers are. And you know what? They don't have to run commercials. No, they're not running commercials that beavers love each other forever.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with are two things. Number one, I've had it with this bang that I can't get to stand down. It just sticks up all the time. in the press briefing that asked them xenophobic questions. I've had it with all that. I'm tired of lying, especially from the White House.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Well, you know, that's a really, really good idea you just had, but you know where you wouldn't find an idea like that? A white evangelical megachurch. Or a dumb factory.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
It's like background noise. Yeah, it doesn't phase me either. But what phased me is when I saw so many during the Super Bowl, and I thought, God, they're paying a premium for that.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
Yeah. It's kind of crazy when you think about the correlations between MAGA and religion, evangelical religion, straight down to the leader being... what I'm told is charismatic in Donald Trump, but like the real hellfire damnation. It really is when you step back from it. It's chilling.
I've Had It
Jesus Christ Super Capitalist
And I know that's a big ask, but I would just like a tiny bit of truth and not so much propaganda.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Patriots, Gatriots, Thatriots. Welcome to America's top DEI podcast starring me, pups and me. Okay. So listen, do you remember how we've had like listeners make us jingles? Yeah. I want a new jingle in Trump's America listener, creative, musically creative jingle makers. That's like, Welcome to America's top DEI podcast. DEI. Yes. That's a great idea.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I think at this point, it's safe to say if there were any Democratic plants in the Trump administration, they are failing miserably. Yeah, that's true. OK, what's next?
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Excellent. Excellent questions that you're starting to ask yourself now about particular human beings in which we have to share oxygen and excellent use of vocabulary. Yes. Bravo. Well done. All right. Smart listeners. I have a couple of news stories for us to review. The first one is study reveals husbands stress women twice as much as children do.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Researchers found that many women feel overwhelmed by the emotional and domestic workload in their marriages, often describing their spouse as an extra child rather than a supportive partner. This imbalance in responsibilities, particularly with household chores and child care, contributes to increased stress.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
It's so crazy because we're under this, we're gaslit into believing that marriage solves a lot of your problems. Like when I'm big... my problems will go away. When I'm married, my problems will go away. When you're in a toxic relationship, if we're married, all of this will be fixed. And marriages are really, really difficult. They bring out whatever your character defects are, they come out like
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
big time in marriage. And I agree. I love Josh. Listener, y'all know I do. But he was a million times more stressful for me than my kids. And I'm really lucky. I have really good kids. They've kind of gone straight down the fairway. They've never really, they're good people. They haven't given me a lot of trouble. And the trouble that
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
they have been is the good trouble where they've had to learn, no, you can't do that, what have you. So I've been really hashtag blessed in that regard. But I'm telling you, man, the stress, when I think about being in my 30s, fuck, all the stress came from the husband. I completely agree. That was my experience. This was pre-Best Buy era. Yeah.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Yes. Okay. The next story is related to this. New research shows that gay and lesbian couples tend to have a higher quality relationships than their heterosexual counterparts. Relative to heterosexual relationships, same-sex relationships tend to have more equitable domestic work arrangements. less defined gender roles and a greater sense of social connectedness to a community.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
They believe these findings suggest heterosexual couples could in fact learn something from gay and lesbian couples. Further knowledge of the strategies developed by gay and lesbian couples to maintain their relationship quality despite individual and institutional discrimination could help to develop new counseling tools.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
we just start ban straight marriage. Maybe we should do a build of ban straight marriage. We just, I mean, just ban straight marriage. Everything MAGA wants, we just go the complete opposite and just flood the zone with it.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
We are, you know, everybody knows about our toddler advocacy program where we're advocating for toddler safety and have basically found two places which they are safe, which is home and school. Mm-hmm. Outside of that, you can't take your toddler anywhere. You're at home. So I think these straight marriages are a minefield of toxic, really bad breeding grounds for bad things to happen.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Ban white-on-white heterosexual marriage. Kylie, what do you think about that? I'm 100% on board. Yeah. I genuinely think, like, think about just in Oklahoma, how many problems that could solve. I'll tell you all a story. So Oklahoma, listener, is the buckle of the Bible belt. And this is just the truth. The more evangelical groups of white people are, the more racist they are.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And so about, what, 15 years ago, we get the Oklahoma City Thunder. And they trot out all these hot African-American basketball players. There's this one player in particular named Serge Ibaka who is just – I mean he would look good sitting in the barrel of a loaded shotgun. Hot. Hot. And then this image gets kind of leaked all online. And he's in these gym shorts, but you can see his penis.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
OnlyFans. Listener, she always says, you think that girl has a FansOnly account? And Kylie's always like, it's OnlyFans, pups. Okay. A few things about this. I really suffered from what you're talking about when my kids were little. The worst. And Christmas Eve was brutal because you had all these toys and you had to put them together because we lied to our kids and tell them Santa brought them.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And let me just say, Size Queen Pumps approved it and brings it up still decades later.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
So anyway, my point is that once this team rolled in, Josh Welch – all the women in Oklahoma City were super excited to go to games, were wearing Thunder merch. They were all in on NBA basketball.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And Josh Welch said to me, well, I don't think anything has combated racism as much in Oklahoma City as the Oklahoma City Thunder rolling out here with all these hot black basketball player men because all these white women were all of a sudden –
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
huge huge huge Thunder fans and it wasn't just like oh I love to go to the games it was like oh my god I love to go to the games and those players are hot I mean it was like it was like a cougar moment but it genuinely I think Josh had a very astute point it genuinely helped with the issue of
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
of race because so many white people are still so segregated in white culture and completely around white people they are never around or mixed with black people and so that mba move has been very beneficial now it didn't help anything in the state as far as voting goes
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I'm going to tell you this. No diversity and no culture, period. Except church. There is no culture. I mean, there is just none. Zero. And so I think when the NBA rolled into Oklahoma City... NBA, when these players roll out and they're playing hip hop music and you get this flavor of black culture and people like it. They do.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
People, when you are in more diverse cultures, I think you're like, I always imagine when we go to New York and you just walk down the street, you hear multiple different languages. Yeah. Every skin color and everybody's just kind of like peacefully walking about. And here, every time we get back and we land, I'm always like, oh, my God, this place is just so white.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I'm so grateful that my sons have a lot because of their basketball and AAU that they have a lot of really close friends. you know, black friends and exposure. Josh and I have become friends with their parents and that has infinitely made our lives better. That diversity in our life has made our lives so much better. Okay. I believe today that we are going to hear from you, listener.
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Santa doesn't wrap gifts. They're just left under the tree. And so Josh and I would be up and Josh Welch does not own a screwdriver. I mean, zero tools, zero stereotypical ability of a man to assemble anything. And I will remind the listener, he just discovered manscaping recently through his consultation at Best Buy. So that's what I was up against, right?
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I totally agree with her. The castration of white MAGA men in the face of Donald Trump is, I have never seen such an emasculation, castration situation ever in all 50 years of my life. I have never seen such obsequiousness to such a disgusting, unmanly person as Donald Trump.
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I love Matt. And he brings up a really good point. Because right now there is this, you know, they're obviously slashing all sorts of government jobs. And you have Marjorie Taylor Greene. up there saying, get a real job, go work, blah, blah, blah, blah. When a lot of these fucking trad wives that are, you know, collecting Stanley caps and MAGA shit, they're unemployed too. Yeah.
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And calling themselves home director. Now that was a new one on me, home director. And here's the thing. People get real pissed off about us when we talk about this. If you get to stay home with your kids and that's what you want to do, it's a free country for now, swing for the fences. I don't give a shit.
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Ban Straight Marriage
But don't try to equate that luxury of being able to stay at home with your kids when you have people that have to work and be a mom at the same time. Then you have two jobs. Just at least acknowledge that – during the hours of 8 a.m. to 3.30 p.m., you don't have jack shit to do.
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I'll go play tennis on my lunch hour and I see these women and they're, per Matt, unemployed and good for them, I'm not jealous, but they're dicking off. It's like yoga, then they go play tennis, then they're going to get a facial, they might go do a round of laundry and then they're going to carpool. Well, for me, it's like I race off, go to tennis on my lunch hour and then race back
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and then would have to go to carpool. And I mean, it's more difficult. It's just a lot more difficult when your income is necessary for your children to have a roof over their head and for them to eat.
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So I end up being the one that has to assemble everything because as an interior designer, when we're on job sites and sometimes stuff arrives, you learn how if something's not put together, you have to put it together. You have to do it before the client gets there for the big reveal. So I was always the one that was dicked over there putting all this stuff together. But I'm curious about the bed.
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Ban Straight Marriage
I don't think your perspective is too hard. I think your perspective is helpful and needs to be echoed more and more. You were a divorce lawyer. You yourself fell prey to this bullshit that, oh, I'm just going to be a stay-at-home wife. And what you do is you give up any form of autonomy and then you allow for any sort of abuses.
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You have to acquiesce to them because your acquiescence becomes your job so that your kids are fed and you have a roof over your head. Now, are all husbands who have stay-at-home wives abusive? No, but there's enough for this to be pointed out and shouted from the rooftops because women find themselves in compromising positions constantly.
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time and time again and i you know this better than anybody because of your uh divorce law practice and it's just i see so many friends when you get to be my pump sage so many friends who have downright abusive husbands i'm not talking about physical of course that exists too but i've seen this where it's horrible emotional abuse the husbands are total chasers out all the time the husbands are
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Ban Straight Marriage
total alcoholics, put their wives on a budget, and the wife knows that if she divorces him, then he's going to go nuclear punitive and not give her a cent, drag it out in court, and then it ends up punishing the kids more. So oftentimes women, these trad wives, sacrifice themselves so their husbands can be MAGA pieces of shit.
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And my feet and hands sweat so much. And I'm like, what do you do about this? Like sweaty feet, sweaty hands. Thankfully, Lume, they have this all over body deodorant and I rub it on my hands. I rub it on my feet. It's a total game changer.
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I... Was this like, did you order your dog a canopy bed or was this just a cushion with a case and you zipped it up?
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Isaac, this message needs to make its way inside the Beltway because what the Democratic power players right now are missing, what they're totally missing with this kind of a little bit of spice here, a little bit of bipartisanship here, what they're missing is part of the reason that Donald Trump won is because he's a fighter.
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He was like, fuck them, we're gonna do this, even though it's all crazy bat shit stuff. This milk toast approach is so awful. And I 100% agree with Isaac, if you had
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At least 10 senators and 10 congresspeople that came out and held a massive press conference where they called Elon Musk a Nazi, where they called Donald Trump a Nazi, where he called him racist, where they said they're anti-American, where they said they're colluding with Russia and they're dismantling democracy and we need money to fight this and we are going to go full tilt, hard in the paint.
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The money would flood in like nobody's business, but it is a disjointed message and nobody Now, there are some AOC, Jasmine Crockett, Chris Murphy, but and Bernie Sanders always consistently. But that is missing. It is completely missing. They are not equal to this moment. And it is heartbreaking.
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Ban Straight Marriage
What they want is, what we want is a fighter that's authentic, that isn't just so worried about the next election, that can acknowledge what we're all seeing, which is a total attempt by what I believe to be Russia to completely take over and dismantle the United States of America, which has been Vladimir Putin's goal for a couple of decades. And he is winning.
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Ban Straight Marriage
And the Democrats, if they said, here's the date, here's the time, here's the march, here's the money that we need. These guys are Nazis. They're anti-American. And they just said all the shit that we're witnessing. Right. Everybody would be on board with it.
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Ban Straight Marriage
But I mean, I heard Hakeem Jeffries on a podcast the other day say something to the extent that I don't bend my knee to the far left or the far right. It's like, motherfucker, that is the biggest false equivalency on the planet. All right. The far right are goddamn Nazis doing sick hiles. Everybody sees it, I guess, except for you, Hakeem.
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Ban Straight Marriage
It's it's pathetic. And it makes you not want to send them money because they are not acknowledging what your eyes and ears are seeing. Right. And then it makes you think. Are they in on it? And that's a horrible position for them to be in.
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Ban Straight Marriage
But I think what happens with a lot of these politicians is they get inside the beltway and somebody runs a poll and they're like, oh, we should move to the center. And I'm like, dipshit. That's why Kamala lost because she started running around with Liz Cheney when she was calling him weird all the time. And on the attack, she was ahead in the polls. Like, this is not the time to play politics.
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Ban Straight Marriage
This is the time to stand up for principle, to call a Nazi a Nazi, to call a racist a racist, to call a homophobe a homophobe. And if you can't do it, sit the fuck down And let somebody else rise up. I mean, Hakeem, if you can't do it, then let Jasmine Crockett or AOC do it, because I guarantee you they'd have this whole thing whipped into shape in no time. But that is just it is abysmal.
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It is dangerous. And he is if he thinks he needs to run to the center, we will never, ever. ever, ever win a race ever again, because that is not what this moment is about. This moment is about standing up for democracy, calling a Nazi a Nazi, standing up for human rights, standing up for decency. And you're not going to do it by trying to use false equivalencies to appeal to this elusive
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
undecided center voter. I mean, give me a break. Give me a break. And listen up, Democrats. We're sitting here in the middle of a red state. And how Pumps and I feel and how Isaac feels, that's not happening in a vacuum. Right. Every single one of my girlfriends might be somewhat moderate, but they want that fight. They want to hear a Democrat call a Nazi a Nazi.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
And the support you guys would get would be overwhelming. But for some...
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
signature I think somebody's overcompensating for something making it way too big okay here's let me tell you guys what this whole signature thing is the other day pumps and I were sitting here waiting on Kylie to get our camera equipment ready and we're sitting at this here very table and we had paper and pens in front of us and I wrote my signature Jennifer Welch and
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Ban Straight Marriage
And when you are in junior high and high school, you write your signature. You practice it all the time. You know, it's just like it's something that at least we did because we didn't have cell phones. Right. And we had cursive. And so then Pumps takes it and she writes Angie. What was the last name? Clooney. Yeah. Angie Clooney.
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And then she said, did you ever do that where you practice like who you were going to marry? And then I wrote Jennifer Obama. And then Pumps, you wrote somebody else. Beaver... Chestnut. Chestnut. Angie Chestnut. Angie Chestnut. And so the fact that he sits around and... Beaver.
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Attorney at law. MAGA slayer. America's top DEI podcaster. Angela D. Beaver. The dawning of a beaver.
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These are the microaggressions of the Donald Trump presidency. I agree with you. We are not competent enough to assemble these things. We would prefer that they come assembled. Agreed. Okay. America is not known for being the brightest. Certainly not now. Please help us. Okay. Let me tell you what I've had it with.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
oh my god oh my god you can tell we're middle school all over again going back to talking about our signature again it brings out our immaturity but anyway it reminds me when he does that that that's what i used to do in junior high yeah and when we when i was a cheerleader and we're heading to an away game would sit because we had pen we had pads and paper because we don't have cell phones i'd practice my signature and like you know put down like jennifer cruise if
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Ban Straight Marriage
for Tom Cruise, you know, these people I thought I was gonna marry. And Donald Trump sits there and practices his signature and then he holds it up. And it's like, this is juvenile stuff. And I admit that we just engaged in a ton of juvenile behavior, but Angela D. Beaver made me do it.
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Ban Straight Marriage
We're not the president of the United States. We're just America's top DEI podcasters.
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Ban Straight Marriage
Okay. Here's what I'm going to say. This is, he brings up a really good point. It's a nuance. It's a nuanced grievance because like we should be walking, right? Like cars were not in the cards for what our bodies were evolved to be. And so then we're taking things like drinking water and making it performative.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Walking, which is the number one way that human beings would get from point A to point B, and we make it performative. And I agree with him. We're normalizing things that should just be foregone conclusions.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I just, I think that we could do a beaver walk for democracy. Beaver trot. The beaver crawl against fascism.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Well, I'll tell you what. It's a better idea than I've heard out of Democratic leadership lately. Preach. At least we have an idea.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
We have a mascot. We have a cuckoo. The beaver. You know what? You could have the beaver. We could get a beaver. We could call one of those animal sanctuaries.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I really think I need that to get me through a couple more months.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
Okay. So for those of you that want to leave a voice memo to be featured on this here podcast, you go to Instagram and you record the voice memo in Instagram and then you DM it to I've Had It Podcast. And...
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if you think you have a banger and it gets passed over just keep resending it and putting it up to the top because we get a lot and when kylie and seth go in there they have to find them but anyway here's what you can do for us subscribe follow us join our sub stack join our patreon get a beaver and pumps tell them we will see you next tuesday and thursday
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And this is rather pedestrian, but I just think it's something we have to talk about. I've had it with Elon Musk. I have just absolutely had it with Elon Musk. And let me break it down for you and the listener. Number one. You think, if you're raised in a hyper-capitalistic society like the United States, that if somebody has money, they're smart.
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Listen up, patriots, gaytriots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
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we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
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And then the older you get and the more you sit around people with money, you're thinking, well, that guy's kind of a dipshit. Especially in Oklahoma. You run into a bunch of oil and gas guys that kind of struck gold like Jed Clampett and Beverly Hillbillies. And you're like, well, that guy's a dipshit. So the more and more I see this guy speak... the more I'm like, what on earth is going on here?
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And then you start unpackaging it. Like before he sucked up to Trump, he was a rich guy that owned Tesla. I didn't really care beyond that. I never really saw videos of him talking. I just knew he owned Tesla and he lived in California. And then he's moving to Texas and then he starts sucking up to Trump. Well, then you find out that he is a total parasite that sucks off the U.S.
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government to the tune of over $20 billion. And then all these MAGA are like, we don't want immigrants taking our money. This is American taxpayer money for Americans. And this MF-er is from South Africa. No disrespect to our South African listeners. We love you. We hate Musk.
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Ban Straight Marriage
You find out that this MF-er is from South Africa and comes over here and he thinks we need to reorganize and redo everything. For him. Right. And MAGA is so goddamn dumb. They're just going right along with it. The only, and I mean pumps, the only thing that has been even a tad enjoyable, but also somewhat terrifying at the same time. You can have a compound emotion. It's enjoyable.
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Ban Straight Marriage
It also kind of terrifies me. It's just how much he's emasculated Donald Trump. Right. Donald Trump's posture around him. He slumped over. He looks defeated. Elon Musk, in the total flex move of all flex moves, takes his toddler into the Oval Office while Trump's sitting there slouched over. I mean, like he's in the fetal position behind the resolute desk.
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Elon Musk has his little kid picking boogers and wiping them on his desk and telling him off. Right. Right, tell him, shh, you're not the president. And I've had it. I don't understand, and I need a MAGA person to explain this to me like I'm five, how you don't like people sucking off the government. And you don't like non-Americans sucking off the government.
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Ban Straight Marriage
Yet you're all chips in on a South African sucking off the government to the tune of over $20 billion and is rewarding himself while he's managing the federal government new government contracts. Right. And taking over agencies completely. And I just want to go and say this. Number one, I think his cars are ugly. Well, the Tesla is – I mean –
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
I think his rockets are stupid. I think the cars are ugly. I think the truck is ugly. And I think he needs to be deported. And that is my grievance for today.
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Ban Straight Marriage
Yeah, probably. Okay. I want to welcome you to I've Had It, America's top DEI podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She's America's legal eagle, despite somebody else already having branded themselves that we are piggybacking.
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Ban Straight Marriage
I like it. I like where your head's at. Pamps has been in a terrible mood today. Her dog ingested some nicotine pouches last night. She called me and said, I answered the phone. Hello. I hate that I got married. I hate that I have kids. I hate that I bought this dog. I fucking hate everything. I am so fucking mad. I go, what happened?
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Ban Straight Marriage
Ollie found one of the kids' nicotine pouches and I think he ingested it and I'm going to get a stomach pump. So she's been in a very foul mood. Foul mood. Not to mention the fact that because we have this other podcast, IHIP News, we have to stay abreast of the 24-hour news cycle, which is the most sadistic thing On the planet. It really is. It's awful.
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Ban Straight Marriage
So we're in order to treat pumps of mental health. I'm going to read some comments to her online. Okay. All right. Here's a comment that somebody left for us on YouTube. His name is Scott Zanger 2019. Hey, pervert network. Why don't you talk about 31% of America like the radical left wing pervert party Democrats? Look it up.
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The American don't want illegal immigrants, trans crap, woke crap, drag shows crap, DEI crap, period. Scott, what I'm going to say to you is the vice president is a drag queen. Right. There is. Just Google it. President. Google. No, but Google J.D. Vance drag queen. Right. He was in drag. There are drag pictures. He wears eyeliner and he is dying to pop a smoky eye. There's no question.
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Ban Straight Marriage
And then he says here, the Americans don't want illegal immigrants. Look no further than my aforementioned grievance. Okay. So then I have one for you that this will really cheer you up. Somebody posted on one of our... I don't know which podcast it was, but one of them. And her name is Maria Alvarez. And she says, Meemaw meat curtains. Tell sis her forehead looks slightly oily.
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Ban Straight Marriage
We can't be hypocritical, ladies. Meat curtains. Your matte makeup is on point.
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Ban Straight Marriage
I'm throwing myself under the bus because I know it brings you joy.
I've Had It
Ban Straight Marriage
But I just know that you like... You know, it's just a little dagger, a little light bashing of me. Especially after how beautiful you were at the restaurant. Exactly. And how athletic the doctor said I was.
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Ban Straight Marriage
Somebody put me in my place with my oily face. Which is oily right now? No, it's not because I was looking when I was talking to you. Okay. Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally.
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Ban Straight Marriage
And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is Life is a Lazy Susan of Shit Sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.
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Listener, I have to share with you, Pumps and I both treated ourselves to a tushy bidet and this is the ultimate luxury. It's not crazy expensive at all. It is so easy to install and it is just a complete game changer each and every time you visit the commode.
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That's 10% off your first bidet order at hellotushy.com with the promo code HADIT. Elevate your comfort every day for life for a limited time. Our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code HADIT at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at hellotishy.com with promo code HADIT. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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Pumps, I am just feel so much anxiety lately and there's just a lot going on in the world. And I am so grateful that on my own time, on my own schedule, in the privacy of my own home, I can have a therapy session with my therapist from BetterHelp. It grounds me, it centers me.
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Yeah, I just can't say I have a whole lot of self-reflection just by me saying, okay, I'm going to self-reflect. It's always because I'm in such a painful situation. I've made such a horrible mistake. I have no choice but to grow because staying there, it's not survivable where I am. Right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
No, and I just, it's going to be interesting for these kids as they grow up, what's their relationship with their parents? How are they able to reconcile their adult relationship? Now, obviously, this woman's in jail. Her mother, she doesn't have to worry about it right now.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But I just wonder, like these people that are constantly doing, you know, oh, we're doing the homeschool and we're doing this and they're not, you know, once they get out of that, what's their relationship going to be like with their parents? That's a question I have.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. And the exploitation. And then it's just, it's sad. And a lot of them start so young, like toddlers.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. And it's that Ruby Frank story was crazy. Like she was abusing him, tied him up. I mean, it's just awful. And then she was a parenting guy. I just don't understand. It's fucked up.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Or as you call it, text messages. They show up on your phone twice a week. Really? And maybe it's because I haven't been watching as much Netflix lately and they're just trying to remind me to watch it. But I think it's weird that I get them all the time.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Every relationship, every person, it is not... There's nothing that's exempt from having problems. Yeah. The perfect marriage, the perfect child, the perfect friendship, everything has problems. Yeah. That's just reality. Yeah. That's funny. I remember that. I remember I asked you what they were doing the other day.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Remember we went back and forth, like, is she lying to herself? Does she believe it? Is it all a front? But we never knew because they left in the middle of the night. They sure did. They got divorced.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Of course they are. I knew that immediately because they were living together and they had two houses.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And the one, not the mother. I mean, I think this girl had kids. The other lady had kids, but not this Ruby Frankie. It was clear that she was a power lesbian. Right.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Is that just like a... Okay, I think I... You've come to the right source.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'm a Mormon expert from the outside. Okay. The more children you have, the higher you can get in the celestial kingdom. So there are certain levels. Like you can only get to say... And I can't remember what the levels names are, but the...
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Was born in Missouri. Yeah. Like Jesus is Jesus, but the new Jesus is John Smith. And he was born, I want to say it was on the East coast that he migrated to Missouri and that he started getting all the wives in Missouri because he had a crush on a 13 year old girl. That's why they marry him young. And he took her as a wife and he'd already been married. I've read all the books.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. See, and you know what? And it's within the last 200 years that this guy, he found these gold plates.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
He didn't find jack shit. Of course it is. There was like a fairy or some goddess that told him where the plates were and nobody ever saw the plates because the plates were so special.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. And then the reason they have multiple wives, pluralism, is because he fell in love with the 13-year-old when he was already married and he wanted to marry her. So he then said... The more wives you have, the closer you are to God or the celestial kingdom or whatever.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
That is exactly how I feel about it. Exactly how I feel. Like it crawled in my brain.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I don't want to think that you're unstable on my flight. Right. And with you parading around and all that. Yeah.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And the other day, I was behind a car. We were in parallel lanes. But he or she, I can't remember, was in front of me enough that I could see the back. And they had like 27 bumper stickers. And some were like pro-environment. And some were like... pro gods and guns. So I was really in a quandary because they had over 20. And so I was just like, what side are we on here? Mixed messaging.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
With some mixed messaging. So they were crawling up and then I was crawling up and then my car like slams on the brakes because I was trying so hard to make sense of their bumper stickers that I'd let my foot off the brake. And so I was about to run into the person in front of me. Can you imagine? I'm like, Officer, here's the deal. This person had missed messages on their bumper sticker.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I couldn't tell. I got so enthralled. I forgot what I was doing, but I wasn't texting. So hey, yay me. You need to write them a ticket because that was a hindrance. It distracted me on the road. Yes. So many. All right, Kylie, who's next?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Yeah. I've seen that. You've seen this? Yes, I've seen... People eating poo-poo diapers? I've seen chocolate in the diaper, and people try to guess what it was. I think they had spoons or their fingers. I was not personally there, but a friend showed me the pictures. So... Yes.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Somebody else's baby shower that they were at, that they were doing that. So I was one degree of separation.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
This was like, hey, look. I remember exactly who the friend was because we were dying over it. We were just like, who does that? Who even thought of that? This has been like years. So now it's escalated to now it's on the internet and people are doing it just all the time. It's gross. Stupid. It was like dark chocolate, caramel chocolate, milk chocolate, like a hazelnut.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But I just think, I think baby showers, bridal showers. People just get like mothers of the bride, mothers of the child coming. I think they get touched with crazy just like the bride or the mother-to-be. I think probably – now, this woman's – like nobody – thought to say, let's not do this. Nobody talked to anybody off the ledge.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Like when this idea came up, somebody should have said, we're not going to do this. This is not a good idea. But you just get so into it.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I will say that I was thinking about like, you know, always getting ready to have a birthday. And I thought, you know, he's not a puppy anymore. Right. And I kind of want a puppy. And then I just thought, fucking puppies are hard. There's a lot that goes into a puppy.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
For me, with the dog I didn't like, like every dog I've been A+, but this one dog I didn't like, I just let him go out the door and I said, I don't want you back. I'm not rehoming you. I don't like you. I was going to rehome him, but at least I was honest about it. I wasn't like, oh, well, they just needed someone that needed more time. I was just like, I don't like the dog.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I don't want to be around the dog. So I feel like that's at least taking accountability for being a dick. And I was a dick. There's no doubt.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
How are we doing on the reviews? Do we still need reviews?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
That was great. But you have really succinct good ideas like that. That's not lightning in a bottle. You consistently, I feel like, have those kinds of things. I mean, they're not rock hard cock chats, but not everybody can be me.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Well, we were trying to think of a name and that's the only thing I could think of.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
So it wasn't wrong, right? No, I completely agree. Right. Their best gaze are ahead of them. Yeah. Well, as you know, I have... That's where I sent my kids, to hate academies. Made a lot of mistakes when I was younger. One of the biggest regrets that I have is where I sent my kids to school. And luckily... Not by anything other than just pure luck.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Okay. What I've had it with is Netflix texts me all the time. We have a new list that you're going to like. Here are your favorites. We think you'll like this and all that. And I'm just like, mind your own business. Why are you in my business all the time? And what really, really makes me had it, like I've had it so hard, is I like everything they recommend.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I'm so grateful that they came out of that and were like, what the fuck just happened to me? Why did you send us there? What were you thinking? Like, so oppressed. You know, so I just... It turns my stomach to hear that because I was part of the problem. Yeah.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I mean, obviously when they got older and I wanted to take them out, I couldn't because they had all their friends and you can't move like a kid in high school. Right. But I look at that and I just think, how was I so stupid? What was wrong with me? And then I go through the years of therapy and I'm able to identify most of those pretty quickly. But it really is...
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
When I hear you say that, like coming from the outside looking in.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And it infuriates me that they can read me so well. Do they text you on your – like a text message? Well, no. Like it just comes up on my phone. So like a notification. Is that what you call it? A notification? Right. But I'm just looking at my phone and it says, Angie, we have new pics for you. You're really going to like these. And I'm just like – Mind your business. I didn't ask.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I would just say I loved the description that he had of himself. So I love that. And it really, I shouldn't be surprised because I remember too, like 2022 or 2021 being like you know, married men that you knew were gay that were having affairs were still married women. It's like, why would you do that in 2021? Nobody cares, 2022 or whatever it was, whatever the year was.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Now with this new administration and being these people are so emboldened with all their racism and homophobia and sexism, I do understand why people would not come out and that we are going backwards and I hate it. I just hate it so much because I just feel like this whole movement is emboldened to be ugly and nasty to people.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
But I do think you would never tell like a female bridesmaid you have too much makeup on. Do you think you would? No. I think that they're picking on him because of the gender roles, don't you?
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
And then when I get in there and look, I do like him. So then I, it just keeps happening. I'm just keep feeding the algorithm because I watch what they tell me to watch and I don't like it. I've had it. But you do like it. No, I don't like them knowing what I like. I feel like that's weird. It's a boundary violation. They shouldn't be able to pick shows for me as well as I pick shows for me.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
I don't think they tend to. I think it's overt all the time everywhere.
I've Had It
Our Best Gays Are Ahead of Us
Absolutely. And pain. Right. That's, I mean, to say that I sit around and self-reflect would be a real stretch, but I am going to tell my therapist next time I see him, No, I'm not going to do any reflection. I think it's pointless.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Patriots. Gay-triots. They-triots. Caw-caw! All right, listen up. I want to talk to you all about something I've been putting a lot of thought into. I've been thinking about this more than I care to admit. And it's regarding a grievance that Pumps had a couple weeks ago where she engaged with a man about putting up her Christmas lights. And then in turn...
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Listener, give the gift a practical luxury that benefits everyone in your household. Go to hellotushy.com slash had it now to grab your deal before it's gone. And don't forget to give us a shout out while you're there and let them know that we sent you. Go to hellotushy.com forward slash had it for the best gift this holiday season. All right.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Now we're going to move along to we have some emails from some listeners. And Vicki sent us an email and said, Hello, ladies. I've had it with cutesy names for dental practices. Happy, sappy, or crappy teeth. Just give me the dentist's names. Gynecologists don't name their practice. Vaginas are us. Urologists don't name their practice better boners.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I wouldn't go to a podiatrist's office called foot fetish. I don't want a dentist who does cute. I've had it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Are you gonna roll them counterclockwise? Where are you gonna start? What are you going to put them in? How are we gonna prevent them from falling prey to insect attack? During the off season. And I think together with our listener, we could make a huge punch list of stuff and we just flood the zone. We go hard in the paint with this guy. And number one, I think it'd be a lot of fun.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I completely agree. I think cutesy names have gone over the top. Not necessarily just in dentistry, like everything. Everything has to have a cutesy name. I just like, this is where you come get a hamburger. It doesn't have to be, you know, upside down and flat burger. I hate all that shit.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
All right, Jessica sent us an email and it says, Honestly, the dogs win. My last name is way cooler. Anyway, I've had it with his family never acknowledging my last name. They continue to address me using his last name. We've reminded them so many times that I don't have his last name. We've been married for 16 years. They still ignore this and write his last name when writing my name.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I think those people are assholes I think they're doing it on purpose I think they're showing a lack of respect for her what do you think?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yes, I think that there's always this pressure on women to death kneel to the man's world. And it's always the burden is always put on us. Like, you know, you'll see in the comment section of our podcast, quit cussing, quit cussing. These women cuss. They say, God damn. And there's this burden on us. But if you listen to Joe Rogan or Bill Maher or Jon Stewart or any of these men,
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
that is not put on them. They can criticize religion. They can cuss. They can talk about politics. And the burden is not put on them to be a particular way. So this is so typical of the sexism that women deal with All of the time. And a lot of it comes from other women. Right.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That's what I was just getting ready to say. A lot of it is pressure from other women.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah. All right. Allison sent us an email that said, I've had it with people's bandwidth issues. Nobody even knew what the fuck bandwidth meant until a few years ago. Now I ask someone if they want to do lunch and they respond with, I'm just not sure I'll have the bandwidth to do it, to do anything on Saturday. What the fuck? Just say no. It doesn't make you sound smarter when you say it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
In fact, it actually makes me hate you a little bit. I don't care about your bandwidth. Answer the fucking question. I've had it. Allison, I completely agree.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Completely agree. That was just a poor use of that term. She just didn't want to go to lunch. Fuck her. Never ask her out again.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That was an application that was worthy. All right. Nikki sent us an email that said, I've had it with gun-toting assholes. Had to share my recent Google review for my toy store in Edmonds, Washington. A couple came into the store on a busy Saturday full of children and families. They were greeted by an employee and asked them to please let us know if we could help with anything.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Then she noticed the man had a gun and a holster on his belt. She politely told the man that firearms are not allowed in our children's store. They gave a look and left. Two days later, we got a one-star review, and here it is. I cannot support this business due to their stance on the Second Amendment. Ugh.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
It was important to me to support companies that uphold and respect our constitutional rights. Unfortunately, this business does not align with those values, so I will be taking my patronage elsewhere. Okay.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And number two, I just am curious if we do a counterattack of psychological warfare, how does he handle it?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
This encapsulates everything I hate about these Second Amendmenters. Number one, nobody needs to take a gun into a toy store. That's one. Two, if you are so fucking worried about the Constitution, then why do you want to flush it down the toilet and vote for Donald Trump? That's two. And three.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I get so tired of people acting like everybody needs a gun and, you know, gun culture and Second Amendment. Let's discuss when the Second Amendment was written, it was muskets that took 30 minutes to fire. Now we have automatic assault rifles killing kids in schools and nobody gives a fuck. I've had it, had it, had it. I hate him. I want to take that gun. I want to shove it up his ass.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
All right. Natalie says, Hello, I'm a longtime fan, short time listener. I would like to take this opportunity to share my I've had it experience. I have a group of friends that are younger by 10 to 18 years new neighborhood. So some of their kids are young about elementary school age. I see them on social media and the mom is posing with her six year old daughter with the caption.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
We are besties or we're twinsies all the time. I'm no, you ratchet ass bitch. Your elementary school daughter cannot sustain a fucking adult friendship. You cannot talk to her about your marital woes, your stupid husband or whatever bitch has pissed you off. Stop saying stupid ass stuff on social media. I see it all. I see it all the time.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
What is this obsession with wanting to be your daughter's best friend? You are her fucking mother. Her face passed through your vagina. It reeks of desperation. Get your own age appropriate friends and quit using your kid for attention you desperately wanted from your daddy. Not fucking pretty. I agree with this.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I always know it is a massive, massive red flag when the parent says the child is their best friend or the child says their parent is their best friend. You know that this is a very boundaryless, enmeshed, toxic situation. And that little kid is going to have big, big adult problems.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
OK, just a little update on that. I don't think a counterattack would put him off. I think he would like it because I texted him like the first day everything was up. And I said, hey, my tree lights went off. He's like, oh, well, I'll be right over. And it's like seven o'clock in the evening. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. You don't have to come over. You know, it can wait till tomorrow.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Big. And it also tells me they can't sustain adult friendships. Like if your only friend is your six-year-old, you...
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
have some real issues i mean i am so grateful that i don't know the minutiae and the ins and outs that go on in my children's social lives yeah because it is none of my fucking business i think it is weird as shit when you Kids tell their parents a blow by blow of what's going on in their social lives.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And I remember in high school, the kids that did this with their moms, their moms were the pettiest, cattiest, meanest women that I ever encountered. And I just... I think you have to let your kids keep a lot of their life that is their own, especially when they're teenagers and young adults. You just kind of guide as best you can. But to be all up in that shit, it's just weird.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I always think they probably were not successful at building relationships as a young person, and now they see this as their chance to –
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
redo their high school experience you know what I mean like it's kind of like the sports parents that because they weren't super successful in sports they want their kid to be the next LeBron James and if somebody wasn't you know had a good group of friends now they want to be in the middle of their son or daughter's group of friends it's always the most desperate obnoxious
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Well, and I think it's a signifier of a very broken relationship between parent and child. Well, very broken adult for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, and when the kid is valuing the friendship with the parent over their peers, like Roman loves me, but they're apples and oranges. Yeah. Like, I feel the mom category, and that is it with Dylan and Roman.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I don't feel the friend socializing, and I don't want to know what all goes on in their social life. They need to keep that with their peers. I think it's really weird. All right. Andrea says, you know what I've had it with? The term buttery soft. Please, butter is not soft. It is greasy. It is slimy and it belongs on toast and popcorn.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I don't want my legging shirts, towels or whatever the fuck else to feel like greasy slime touching my body. It is the Stanley Cup of descriptive phrases and should be banned. I love you guys. Andrea, just because you made the parallel with Buttery Soft to Stanley Cups, I'm your ally and I am here to fight Buttery Soft as a descriptive adjective towards fabrics.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I never thought about that until she just said that. That kind of makes sense. This holiday season, I've decided I'm going to indulge in hydration for my body. That's why I love Osea Malibu products. Their Andaria Algae Body Butter makes my skin feel so soft, so indulgent, so luxurious. I cannot recommend it enough. It's also a great gift.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
What I like about it is it smells great and it's not oily. It's completely grease-free.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Don't sleep on the body butter. It can help your skin have a healthy glow every day because skincare is self-care. It's made with ingredients normally reserved for your face, like andaria, seaweed, and ceramides. Transforms dry, crepey skin to smooth, soft, and supple. Listener, treat yourself. to clean clinically tested skincare from Osea.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I just wanted to let you know. He came over that night. He came over the next three nights to double check. I had an electrician come out because he said it was something with my sockets. Then he followed up with where they were plugged in. If I liked where they were plugged in, just yak, yak, yak. So I'm telling you, I have now got probably...
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
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I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
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I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Join the over 250,000 people who have already chosen Roe to access GLP-1s. Listener, go to row.co slash had it to find out if you're covered for free. That's ro.co slash had it. For boxed warning and full safety information, go to row.co slash safety. Prescription only. I know everybody's going to think we're a nut, but when I holiday shop, I holiday shop for my pets.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
My pets have a stocking and my go-to source to get my little darlings everything they love is Chewy.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I was just on Chewy last night getting my dog some toys and some special treats for Christmas.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And this time of year, Chewy's auto ship feature is the real stress reducing hero because you can't forget about your daily and weekly food. So I've set up the recurring shipments of all the essentials that we use and they show up at my door in one to two days. I'm never running out and I can change or cancel my auto ship order at any time.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Listener, don't forget gifts for your pets this holiday season. Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal favorites at Chewy.com slash had it. That's Chewy.com slash had it. Chewy.com slash had it. All right, Lisa says, I've recently discovered this podcast and I fucking love it. Welcome, Lisa. Here's what I've had it with. Dog people, I've had it with them.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
You can't have fireworks because their dogs have anxiety. Mother Nature can't have a thunderstorm because the dog is scared and dog people assume it's okay to come to my house and bring your dog to my house because your dog is so on a pedestal that you assume the dogs are welcome. I have cats and my cats hate dogs and I have to place my cats in a room away from the dogs
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Because your dog somehow is more important than my fucking cat. I've had it with dog people. And to that, Lisa, I say, welcome and fuck you back.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Here's the deal. I agree with her. I'm a huge dog person. I would not take my dog to somebody's house. Oh, I would. You would. I mean, like to my house. Yes. But you wouldn't like roll up to Liz's with your dog. I have. See, I think that's rude.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
All right. Alex says, hey, Pumpers, Miss Jennifer Lemon. Oh, thank you, my husband. Oh, Dawn. Dawn and Kylie. Can we please discuss how annoying people are who do not like cilantro? Listen, these people are in a fucking cult. Why is it that whenever cilantro comes up in a conversation or situation, there's always someone that will say, oh, I don't like cilantro.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I have that gene that makes it taste like soap. Excuse me? First and foremost, nobody gives a fuck. Secondly, what is the gene? Can you name it? Were you diagnosed by a medical professional like it's some sort of condition? Why have I had this same conversation consistently every time the word cilantro is even mentioned? Nobody gives a fuck. I've had it. A loyal Gatriot, Alex.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
15 to 20 more man hours in with this guy than I did the last time we spoke about it. So I just think he would like it. I really do. I mean, I think he would camp out in my front yard and be there toe to toe. Cannot get enough of it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
See, there was an article or some study that came out a few years ago that was either you like cilantro or you don't. And I remember after that, everybody started talking about whether or not they like cilantro. But I'm with, I mean, I'm with Gatriot. Who gives a fuck? Don't eat it. If you don't like it, don't eat it. We don't have to make a production out of it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah. I just get so tired of when somebody doesn't like something, it becoming this huge topic. For example, Josh Welch hates blue cheese. He hates it. If there is a cheese that is blue cheese adjacent and has just a slight hint of a blue cheese taste, he freaks out, calls the waiter over. We're sending stuff back. It's stage five meltdown. It's just I can't take it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I mean, it's just the food preferences that people have. I'm able to go sit down pretty much. 98% of the time and just eat what's served. And if I don't like it, I just kind of smush it around on my plate a little bit. I'll even, do you ever do this? I'll even like scrape it to where it looks like I ate more. Yes, I've done that before. If I was at somebody's house or something, yeah.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
If it wasn't good, I'll just scrape it over and just to avoid- Anything about talking about it. So when people like die on a hill about cilantro or blue cheese or mayonnaise, we have to go on and on about it and belabor it in general terms. Shut the fuck up. I agree. I've had it with that. Okay.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Adam Michael says, when you've pushed the elevator button and seconds later, someone comes up behind you and pushes it again. As if to say, I didn't press it good enough. And now the elevator is coming. I will break your finger back up, Dale. I have to say, I agree with this, but I also do it. I was going to say, you're guilty of that. I agree and I do it. Yeah.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Because I've been the first pusher and then some asshole will come up from behind me and do a double push. And I think, you fucking dick. I just pushed it. It's illuminated. Right. But if somebody else says it, then I go up and go, oh, oh yeah, it's already pushed. Yeah. I'm kind of the same way. It's just one of those things. All right. Ryan says, long time lurker, first time bitching.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I'm in college as an early 40 something and I've had it with this plague of create an account nonsense. For certain important things like utilities, credit cards, other bills and my student portal, I understand it. But I currently have five different logons to five different websites to access e-text textbooks for classes.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
But then there's this horseshit on regular websites of create an account for 0.0005% off your purchase. Go fuck yourself, Linda. I just want to buy your goddamn shoes. Stay up to date with your newsletter, create an account so you never miss anything. No, I'm just buying sponges. I don't need some sponge related newsletters every other fucking day.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
No, he's like young and cute. I mean, he's early 20s, attractive. Early 20s with this kind of can-do attitude? Okay, I knew you were going to say that because he does definitely get the Hustle Award. There's no question about it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And I am so adverse to joining these clubs that whether it's on a website or if I'm at a store and they say, what is your email? And they want my email information to check out. I have just refused to give it. I said, I don't wish to give out that information. Well, what is your cell phone number? I don't wish to give out that information.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Well, we keep everything here in case you need to do a return. I don't want to do any of it. And then at the end, do you want to join the club? And it gets even worse than just the checkout. The other day I was on a website trying to buy something. You're on and you're just starting to scroll down and you're honing in on maybe this hoodie that you like, right?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And then all of a sudden the pop-up comes. Join our club for 15% off. And then you exit out and it's like, are you sure? Yep. And it's like, no, I'm fucking sure. Right. If I join the club, I want it to be my idea, not your idea. I don't want to be bribed into joining the club with some discount. I don't want any part of any of it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And so I think that there needs to be some business leadership and all these advertising executives that say, I've got it. Let's brand as we don't want your email. We don't want you to join a club. Come here. One click. Get the fuck out of our lives. I would shop exclusively there.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That's a huge branding opportunity because I get so sick of it. And have you ever been on those sites that it's in your cart, you're doing it, you're getting ready to pay and they say... Do you want the newsletter, whatever? And you leave it blank and it won't let you buy it until you click you want the newsletter. Have you had one of those?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yes. But I've also had where I put something in a cart and then I've abandoned the cart. Right. Because I've decided I don't want it. I'm like, well, what if this company has one that's even better than this one? And then I get an email and I haven't entered my email that says, you left your cart. Would you still like to continue shopping? And I just think this is a lot of nerve.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I mean, I have to give credit where credit's due. Like, he cares. He cares that the lights are functioning. And what I want out of you is I want you to match that. I want you to match it. When he's talking about where things are plugged in, say... What's his name? Jackson. Jackson. Jackson, do you think that's the best?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That is a lot of nerve. If I want to abandon my make-believe shopping cart, let me do it in privacy. Let me leave that debris on the internet. You don't need to come do a follow-up with me about my cart. That really pissed me off. Yeah. I've never even heard of that. Okay. Jen sent us an email that says, Hi, friends. I've had it with finding pee on women's public toilet seats.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
You do not have to hover, Janice, even though your Meemaw told you that you might get the clap from sitting on a public toilet seat. That's not how she contracted it. I promise. It's okay to sit your ass down and pee and don't forget to wash your goddamn hands. Love you all. A true gay trick. All right, Jen, here's what I'm going to tell you. I'm a hover, but I'm a wiper. Yeah.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I hover and then I take toilet paper and I leave the toilet. in the manner and the fashion that I would like to receive it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah, I always just plop down. I mean, I make sure, I mean, I wipe it first, but I always just plop down. I don't worry about it. But I hate if I'm like in a super hurry or I have to pee really bad and I don't have an opportunity to wipe.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Like it's usually at like a game or a concert or something where it's packed bathroom and you're just going in and out super fast and you plop down on somebody's urine. It's fucking gross. Everybody should wipe after they have her.
I've Had It
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Um, Diana says, hello ladies. I'm writing to tell you about a recent and ongoing I've had it experience. First, let me say I am not a man hater. My best friend is my husband and he's a man. I grew up with all brothers whom I love and respect.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
What I do not understand and what I've had it with is men in yoga class who think it's okay to show up late, crowd into any space they like, and then pass gas audibly throughout the class. I've practiced yoga for decades. Women don't behave this way. Women are mindful and considerate. I'm sick of smelling men's asses in hot yoga class and I've had it. Thank you for the opportunity to vent.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I have never heard of such a thing. Audibly passing gas more than once. Like if I audibly pass gas in yoga, I would run out and you would never see my face there again as long as I live. I mean, that's bad. Yeah.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That's just, I mean. Especially hot. She's been doing it for decades. The women don't do this. The men do this. And I just, you know, I'm not a man hater either. But there are just certain things that women in general take a little bit more care to. Right. That men don't. And I would think probably farting in exercise class might be one of them. Right. I would hope.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Okay. Okay. Natalie sent us an email and she said, I've had it with every time I go anywhere, I got to fill out a goddamn survey about my experience. Take my kid to the doctor, fill out the survey. Bought a candle at Anthropologie, fill out the survey. Went to the pumpkin patch, radar service. No, absolutely not. Bloody hell, why? Every fucking place, I got to tell them what I think.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Do you think we should use the top receptacle or maybe move it down to the bottom receptacle? What do you think with your experience? I think you need to match that intensity and that can-do attitude. And I think you need to be a can-do customer.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I'm not getting paid. There's no coupon attached to filling out this 10 minute long survey. Get bent. Yeah, no, I hate that shit. It is so frustrating because recently I got one of these surveys and I just deleted it and immediately sent it to my junk folder, my email box. Two days later, we're still waiting on your survey results. No, they shamed you? Yes.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And I immediately just deleted it again. And I just, why does everybody want so much out of us? Right. Why don't they even care? Why do you want us to join the club? Why do you want us to fill out a survey? Why does your light guy want to have 95,000 meetings? Why do people want so much out of us? I don't know. I mean, I think it's a great point.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Like, isn't it enough just to give somebody your business? Why do you then have to survey them, get them to join your make-believe club and terrorize their email box by sending them newsletters that nobody gives a shit about. And who are the animals that enjoy this shit? Being in the club, receiving the newsletter. I know you like a survey. I like a political survey. Okay.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
But my question is like, isn't like the Yelp review or the customer reviews online, why isn't that enough? Why do we have to do direct access? Why can't we just allow the people that want to do it, the other people leave them alone?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I just, I don't know why people want so much out of being a customer. Why can't you just pay and then that be the end of it? Right. That's the end of the relationship. We don't need to belabor it. Just transactional.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And then it's over. Don't feign that you care about continuing this relationship by terrorizing our email inboxes and sending us surveys. We know you don't give a shit. And you're not going to change what you're doing. Everybody knows that it's all for the grift. Yep. All right. Let's do the last one here.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Carrie says, I fucking had it with the Instagram parents posting photos of their babies next to fucking pumpkins. I dread the fall. I'm British. where the idea of posting next to a vegetable is laughable. I just do not understand the pumpkin patch. You are choosing a fucking vegetable? Do it at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. How is that fun?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah. I mean, here's the deal. I've even said, just go buy new lights, go buy a new timer. Like, I don't give a shit. I just don't want to have to talk anymore. But now I'm, you know, all these days into it, I've got an electrician that's been out to double check. What I think the problem is, is I have a short in the light.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I have to stay off of social media until the season passes because I lose all respect for my friends when they post the fucking pictures. Here's my child with a vegetable." I've had it. You know what? I've been looking for new stuff to be pissed off about. I like it. I join you, Carrie. This is right in my wheelhouse. I agree. Quit photographing your children with vegetables.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I just fucking love her. Yeah, I think that's excellent. All right. Well, I think that is all that we have time for today. And I'd like to thank all of our emailers for sending us some great new inspiration. Right. Hate-spiration. Hate-spiration. I like that phrase. Yes. Because we need more things to be irritated with as we navigate the next four years, as we navigate the Internet. Yep.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And we need more grievances to stick into our handy dandy filing system, which all of our Gen Z and millennial listeners make fun of us for having. But we don't care. We don't care. We like it. All right. Listen, we don't have any shows coming up, but we do have a Blue Sky account at YouTube channel. So join us in all of those places. Pumps, tell them.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday and order our book. Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and matriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
we are on all the available platforms apple spotify google whatever you get your podcast and youtube please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say caca a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So I'm thinking that's where I'm going to focus my energy is in the certain strand of lights that keeps going off and on. So now I think what I need to do is start pelting him every day because he seems to be resistant to just going and buying some more lights. So I think what I need to start doing is start texting him every night. That's what I'm saying. That's what I want.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
When are you going to replace these lights? When are you going to go buy new lights? You can't go to Home Depot. I'm anti-Home Depot, but you can go to Lowe's. Buy new lights. Get them up. How soon can you get them up? So that's where my effort is going to be focused is on this strand that's around the garage that works part time.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I agree with that. But that gets us to how he's going to take him down. Is he going to start from the left of the house or the right of the house?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
You know, another thing I could do, because you know me, I'm like weird about like. I'm not even putting up any Christmas stuff because we're going to be out of town over Christmas. And it would literally drive me crazy thinking my tree and all that shit was up when I arrived back home because I usually put my stuff down like Christmas Day. Yeah.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So I think I should start texting him the day after Christmas. When are you getting the lights down? When are the lights coming down? How soon can you get my lights down?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Okay. I could do that. I could put some energy into that because I have an aversion to the Christmas stuff after Christmas.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I also think you could write him a paper. That in your spare time. Yeah. Like I oppose a lot of people extend Christmas to the new year. I oppose this. I want my lights down no later than sunset on December 26. When the birthday party's over, it's over. I don't believe in belaboring celebrations. And I think that I think there's a lot that you two could work on together.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
He wanted to have a lot of meetings, a lot of text messages, a lot of phone calls, a lot of follow-up. He wanted to overcomplicate it. And it's just really been sitting in my craw. And so I've been thinking about what happens when the lights come down. And I have a proposal for you. Okay. I say you start playing offense immediately, okay?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah, I could tell him I want him to take him down left. Let me ask you this. Are you going to use him next year?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Do you have a relationship with him now? No, but here's my problem. He does have a can-do spirit. He's a hustler. He cares. He cares. So I feel like, am I jumping? Like, okay, so the guy I used before, I had to chase him and chase him and chase him. This guy's Johnny on the spot. I mean, there's no question about that.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So I think I'm probably going to use him next year because I think we'll have to have less of a relationship. Like he will have wrapped him up. He will have labeled him. He will have done all that stuff. So I'm hoping that next year we can have less interaction. So I think I will use them next year because of the hustle and the can-do spirit.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So when you get to next year, my question is, do you just say, I want you to do the exact same thing you did last year? Or do you play offense and say, I'd like to mix it up a little bit? I'd like to go all different color lights, all different areas. I'd like it timed to music. I want a musical presentation. I want to play the Nutcracker song, and I want my lights to blink in tune to that.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Can you put a Santa face on my roof that blinks alternately red, green? I've got something. What?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
You can say, Jackson, I don't know what your political affiliation is, but I'm one of those woke women. And so I want you to put on my roof, fuck you, Trump, in Christmas lights. Let's see what he says. Do you have a problem with that?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
If I were guessing, I'd say probably, I mean, just based on all the stereotypical factors here. He probably is a Trumper, but I'm going to tell you, he's such an eager beaver. I think he'd ride it. I think he'd do it because he really wants to make the customer happy.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
All right. Well, I've just been thinking about how this guy's been torturing you with all of this. And I thought, you know, why not attack back? I'm afraid he'd like it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I'd still be more tortured. Yeah. All right. Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of the show. She is America's Meemaw. I would like to share a story from the news. And I relate to this. And the headline is, Ohio man forced to cancel credit card to escape gym membership. Okay. So this guy, he had to cancel his credit card.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So his name is Doug Madison, and he just wanted to cancel his gym membership, but ended up having to cancel his credit card instead. The 59-year-old could no longer afford the monthly fee. So a year after he signed up, he went back to the gym's website to terminate it. But it didn't have an option for members to cancel online. So he called the gym and was told he had to come in person.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So he went to the gym, but even then he couldn't cancel. He recalls the employees telling him that they didn't, quote, have the ability to stop it or do anything on it because only his gym's parent company was authorized to cancel his membership. In the meantime, he says, while he's trying to do all this, they're still charging his account.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I mean, it's just after Thanksgiving, you have the entire month of December, and I say you start texting this guy and saying, hey, I've been thinking a lot about how we're going to get the lights down, and I want to go over a few scenarios with you. Do you have time to talk? And then you get him on the phone, and no matter what, Keep him on. Do not let him land the plane.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
So he had no option but to call the credit card and to cancel his credit card because these gyms get people in a headlock and something's got to be done about it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Do you know how fucking mad I would be if I had to cancel a card over a gym membership? Because then you have to redo everything else.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Here's maybe another thing that you could do. You could just hire Jackson as a full-time employee to handle issues like this. Because at some point, he's just going to beat them down enough to where they're going to acquiesce and assuage any concern or issue that he has. And so I think maybe you launch Jackson.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Making change everywhere we go. I'm going to credit ourselves to that entire thing.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Yeah, that is long, long overdue. I'm going to say we did that. And when Stanley Cups are banned nationwide, I solely will take a solitary victory lap. I mean, that will just be the sorest winter smugfest anybody's ever seen.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
You know what we're going to do when that happens? We're going to have Jackson make a float.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
with Christmas lights and you know what I will do and you can go down every street in every city in America and you know what I will do I will work full time with Jackson on plans how many options do we have Jackson let's run through every single one of them I'm even gonna say let's let's do a rehearsal yeah we'll have rehearsals try out different lights yeah do you want to do LED do you want to do soft
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Ooh, that's rough. A gaytriot in Florida. I feel sorry for the gaytriots and all these red states. I do too. I mean, it sucks. It's tough times. Florida sucks too. I like how he hates us and thinks we're bitches, but also loves us. Right. That's the most relatable thing. It's so common that you love a lot about a person and also hate a lot about them.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That is fantastic. How funny is that? She's in Japan, and she hears my ca-caw in her head.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Do not let him off the phone. He's like, well, really, I don't think it's going to be that complicated. I'm just going to come. I'll take him down. I'll roll him up. And I'm like, that might not be that complicated for you, but I'm very particular. about the way my lighting is put up. I wanna know how you're gonna store the clips. I wanna know, are you gonna roll the cords clockwise?
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now. This holiday season, it can be such a joyous time, but you have to make sure because you're giving, going, blowing, that you pause and take some time out for your mental health.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
That's why I value very immensely my therapy sessions with my BetterHelp therapist.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Let's not kid ourselves. Holidays, being around families are tough and utilizing my BetterHelp therapist helps me be more calm facing this holiday season.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Listener, if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. What we love about it is it's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. All you have to do is fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it. Listener, Pumps and I have upgraded our potties to the Tushy potty. And I'm telling you guys, this is well worth it.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
And if you want to give the top gift to any family member, something no one ever saw coming, but that they will enjoy every single day of the year, multiple times a day, it's the Tushy bidet.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
I love the Tushy Bidet. I feel so fresh and clean after I use it, and it's so user-friendly.
I've Had It
Immediately GFYS
Right now, Tushy Bidet is dropping deep discounts on bidet life essentials that'll transform your bathroom habits and booty for life. Now's the time to back away from boring gifts and dirty habits to save on a luxury lifestyle upgrade that you'll use every day. The Tushy Bidet easily attaches to your existing toilet without the need for additional plumbing or electricity.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I was going to say, the reason America is so unhappy is we have a fascist running the country. That's my opinion.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I find myself being more, I wouldn't say depressed, but depressed. Since the election, every day I wake up with this foreboding, like what's happened? And then I'm never like, oh, nothing happened last night, or nobody broke the law last night, or nobody leaked war plans on the internet, that kind of thing. So I do just have an unease that I have never had before.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
It's the worst. My dad, when he was alive, he was the worst at this. One time I went to the ATM with him. He pulled out his wallet. He puts the card in. He's dicking around. He puts his wallet back in. It was five to seven minutes. And I just looked at him and I said, Every single person in this blind and every single person in this bank hates your guts. It's just chaos at these ATMs.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I'm always like, what? When I hear Candace Owens open her mouth, Kash Patel's loyalty to Trump, Caroline Leavitt. I mean, she grosses me out worse than Kaylee Ann McEnany. Does he have any black people in his cabinet? I think Cash Patel's the darkest person in his cabinet. But does he have like an African-American in his cabinet? I don't think so. Not to my knowledge.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Because remember, he didn't... Tim Scott was pick me, pick me, pick me. He didn't pick him.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
People are just rude. And inefficient. I mean, people as a species are inefficient. You can see it at the airport, at the ATM. Anytime you have a crowd of people, it's mass inefficiency. Absolutely.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I completely agree. And this is... I was going to say this last time and we kind of got off track, but... I prefer to eat my meals. Every time I go out to dinner with a group of people, I sit there and think, I wish I was by myself. Because when I'm done, I can get the check. I can go. I can sit down. I can order. I don't have to fucking talk for five hours about what's on the menu.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I'm getting to where I prefer it. So that people that eat alone, I think embrace it. Enjoy it. Write your own ticket. That's my thing.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
No, I completely agree. And it was a big post-COVID divorce boom too. It's a shock to no one.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Absolutely. And I have boycotted Amazon too, which is a real tough one for me. Because Jeff Bezos, perfect example, he accepted like a human rights award because of his DEI programs with Amazon. And then he turned and fled so fast.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
The best thing about this program is that you don't have to compromise on your dog or cat's vet bills because you have help.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I'm not as ambitious that you with the tennis, but that 72 hour body deodorant has saved me because I don't have to worry about stinking if I forget to put on deodorant. And I love the wipes because I can do all the cracks under the boobs. It's the best to feel confident after a workout.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I hate to toot my own horn. You have. But I have been screaming this from the rooftop. This is little dick energy, top to bottom. I knew it. I fucking knew it. I love that so much. I'd heard he did the IVF, but so he was trying to make it bigger with the penile implant. Yeah. I don't think somebody would put an implant to make it smaller. Well, I know.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I can't figure out who thinks they're a bigger victim. These two think they are victims. It's unreal. I would die if I was running around with you and you let me always talk about how everybody hates me, dah, dah, dah, dah. And you never said, have you ever thought the common denominator in your problems was you? Have you ever thought maybe you had something to do with that?
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
This has gone on their entire lives because they have money. It's so crazy what people get away with.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
This might have happened to you, but you are responsible. for how you respond to it. And these men sit there and cry like everybody doesn't like me. The judiciary is against me. The list goes on and on. There's hoaxes and all this stuff. And I just think, does nobody listening think You are a billionaire. You have everything you want. You have more power than you could ever imagine.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Why are you crying around on Fox News all the time? Don't they get sick of that? I would think.
I've Had It
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And it is the party of whiners. Absolutely. The party of grievances and poor me. I just fucking drives me bananas.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I can agree with that because I was sitting here trying to imagine the people in this city trying to navigate the subway. They couldn't do it. Well, I mean, no. And let's discuss what's the common denominator between These people in our community, inefficiency, lack of self-awareness, fakeness. Oh, I can tell you. Okay. Lay it on me. The MAGA voters. Yep.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I agree. I was thinking when she was talking, because it's a great point. remember people running around in George Bush and Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. I fucking loved Reagan. No, but I mean, did they wear t-shirts and stuff? I know he didn't sell grift, but I just don't, that came in with Trump. And I, I wonder if it's because he was on TV.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Yeah. And the first time you said that, it took me a minute, but I was like, that's so true because we're grifting. We're megawatt personality. We're telling people other people are bad. He's a great bullshit artist. He really, he is a great bullshit artist.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Right. But that fits perfectly with religious cults. Yeah. Yeah. Because this 18-year-old, it doesn't make sense, but that makes a ton of sense. That tracks. Okay. Now on to the rubbernecking.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I don't look. I'm scared I'll see something I don't want to see. I look every single time. I'm a part of the problem. Have we told them on here how we chased the cop cars the other day? Where we were sitting at lunch having grilled cheeses at the shack. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we did. And there were cop cars going by. And we followed them. We went and pursued.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
We went like seven miles away from where we should have been. Trying to find the crime scene. Right. Now I want, but I can't look at the ambulance cause I'm afraid I'll see something bad, but I do want to see if we're, you know, what's going on. I just don't want to see like. The product of a dead body.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
And that's so flipped for us because I'm the one that's so into all the gory stuff and you're anti-gory, anti-hospital, anti-blood.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Oh, my gosh. Speaking of which, I forgot to toot my own horn. Kylie backed me up. So Seth has a splinter. I did surgery today. Got the splinter out. I had to get it all pointing out. So I have to bring Kylie in for this. Yeah, didn't I get it out? Just hold your horses. So I brought my tool kit. I get it all ready, but I can't keep it up out of the skin and pull it out. So I bring Kylie in.
I've Had It
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And as we all know, she's a big pussy. She comes in and I'm like, hey, I need you to take this out. And she's like... And I was like, enough. She got it right out the first try. And first of all, I just want to say, when Kylie, I tried to clean her ears out, she was a big baby. Seth was not a baby. I went in. I got that splinter. You cleaned out Seth's ears? No, no, no.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I got the splinter out of his finger. Oh, okay. Okay. Kylie was a big titty baby when I tried to clean her ears out. Oh, I wonder if, you know, maybe you could clean Josh's ears out.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
We will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. Fuck off! Wait. Fuck off! There you go.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay. What I've had it with is people that have no urgency in the ATM line. So there's like five cars rolled up waiting on the ATM and the ATM person dicks around with their card. They don't just get their money and put it in the cart. They want to put it in their wallet, make sure it's all organized, count their money. I'm just like...
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
You know, it's interesting because I think it's so funny because I just don't see him as a hypochondriac. Well, he is. No, I know. I mean, I went in and I saw him that morning on the sofa and I was like, is it the earwax problem? Yeah. And I said, what's wrong with Josh? And you said, he's got earwax. I was like, he's on the fucking couch because he's got earwax.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
And you're like, oh, no, he's going back today. He's got a twofer. Yeah. Two in two days. Yeah. Two clean outs.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Ready? One, two, three. Wow. She's back. I mean, I'm back. I even remembered to do it. It didn't startle me that I had to clap like it sometimes does. Patriots, Gatriots, and Vatriots. I thought we weren't doing it. I know.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
As it turns out, you're fine. But doesn't that tell you... How easy, not easy, but I mean, because you have to want it. And Josh really went all in on it that the Munchausen thing and the Munchausen by proxy, if you just keep bugging the shit out of the doctor, they'll do what you want. Well, I think they're also terrified of getting sued. Right. That's what I'm saying.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
The machine's going to give you the money. Move on down the road. If you have an issue, you're going to have to go in the bank anyway. Go, go, go, go, go. There are five people in line. Have some urgency and some self-awareness. It's not the time to clean out your wallet while you're sitting at the ATM machine. I've had it.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
That just kind of makes me so happy, the thought of him having to wear a hearing aid because he is so vain.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
Okay. So I was in court and I was sitting next to this delightful man. And he said, my wife loves your podcast. Can we get a picture? I was like, yeah, sure. And so we took a picture and she immediately responds, oh my gosh, America's greatest legal mind. That's so good. Yeah, that's so good. And you were actually in court. I was in court. She was a lawyer, too.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
I'm going to do it in order this time. That's good. I just thought a great new name of myself. What? Head beaver in charge. HBIC. HBIC. The head beaver in charge. It's really good.
I've Had It
Micro Penis Parade
There's nothing better than losing weight and having absolute and total support through it. row offers to your door on your computer no wait time no commute it comes to your door you feel so much better i cannot recommend it more highly this formula from eli lilly hits not one but two hormones to curb hunger and with less nausea
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Yeah. Can you imagine dating or being married to that person's child? How horrible of a mother-in-law. I mean, that's psychotic. She wants to spy. Basically, she wants to spy on her kid.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Okay. Aren't you on a college mom group, me? I was for Sam his freshman year. Yeah. And in fact, I don't think I ever left the group. I just deleted the app. So I could still be in it.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Love the clap back. Hi, what do you think the professor thinks when little Johnny's mother? Emails. Hi. Just wanted to know if there are any absences. Too many tardies. You know that they immediately put a target on that kid's back, that the kid's pussy. Immediately.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Yeah, it's on steroids. And it just wasn't like that when we were young. It just simply wasn't. We were latchkey kids. Right. I mean, I know. My mom never came up to school.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I know. And I've got to do better. But I just, I think, oh my God, my little puppy would love that if it worked. And of course it never does. So that's on me. I think you're right. I agree. I'm the problem.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I mean, it just this whole thing about the parents being super involved. I truly believe most of the schools hate it. The school administration hates it. My guess is the kids hate it. And I think that the parents just do not have enough in their own lives that are going on that they have to make their kids' life their life.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Oh, God. I mean, here's the deal. I have no doubt why that child doesn't have any people that he meets on his own. I mean, mystery solved. That poor child. I mean, I feel sorry for these kids.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
It's fucking bananas. I'm assuming you don't get a weekly update on his laundry. No.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
A hundred percent. The mother. And here's the deal, too. Like, OK, let's assume I got that. I was on that and somebody sent that to me. My immediate reaction would be, and I hope that I wouldn't tell it to my child. My immediate reaction would be like, that's a kid you need to stay away from. I would immediately think that. Like, this kid is bringing his mom into everything. He's grown.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Like, I hope my kid doesn't buddy up with him. I'm just not a good person, though.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I've, I mean, it sounds real, but I mean, I mean, that gives me just like, like, that can't be real.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Is there some satire there? Because nobody really thinks that's a good idea. But I know people do. It sounds crazy.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Let me just tell you. This relates to little kids in my practice of divorce. When you have a parent, two parents that don't live in the same house, the parent calling all the time, like breakfast, lunch, and dinner, is always viewed as the problem parent. Always. The general rule is you get one call a day. That's it. That's the list.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And we're talking kids, like five, six, seven, eight-year-old kids. More than one call. Number one, the kids don't want to talk on the phone. Number two, it's the other parent's time. Respect it. But a minute a day is about what you get.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
So having done that for 20 years and to hear grown-ass women want to talk to their kid every fucking day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, before bed, and at FaceTime before class, that's fucking psychotic. It's enmeshment. It's enmeshment. I mean, it is clinically fucked up.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Yeah. And I just, you know, as I have an older child going into the workforce, like he'll call me Once, twice a week, probably. That's normal. Yeah. And then he'll start telling me about his job. I'm so fucking bored. I can't wait to get off the phone.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I mean, my eyes are rolling back in my head and I'm just like, I have no idea what he's talking about, but I'm trying to ask the appropriate question. So not only are they not interested in what we're doing as parents. Right. I'm not that interested in what they're doing as workers. Right. It's just not that interesting.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And it's... That would be one of those people that if that is the parent of my child's significant other, the conversation would be... Run, run, run. This is not going to get better. And they won't listen because my parents did that with me and I didn't listen. But at least I could tell myself, like, I've exposed as much as I can, like, this is not going to turn out well for you.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Okay, I just had a flash memory while you were talking. So we're moving Luke into the dorm. He's my youngest, just moved out. We're walking by the dorm room and there's this, not his dorm room, but another dorm room. And there's this huge MAGA flag on the wall. And I looked, I turned around, I looked at him, I go, do not hang out with that person. They're a dumb bigot.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
And you know, he probably went over there and immediately hung out with them. But yeah, I mean, I just saw it and I was just like turned, like spun on my heels.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
I mean, that was I was kind of shocked. I think my kids flag say something like beers don't stand a chance here. That's typical. Yeah.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
But we'll see. Maybe I'll learn to keep my mouth shut. Maybe. One day. Maybe.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
See, that's, I think that obviously that's a huge issue for women balancing, like what's the work life balance. It's fucking hard. It's sometimes not attainable. Some, I mean, personal life sufferers, if work's doing well, work suffers with kids, you know, it's just constant struggle.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
What I've had it with, and this is partly I've had it with me, but I'm so tired of buying stuff off Instagram that doesn't work like they act like it's going to work. And specifically, I have a For You page that is nothing but French Bulldogs. That's all it is. And I scroll over, and it's all these things that French Bulldogs can play with.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
But the bigger issue for me in that scenario is that there are so many women that make it their business to be at all their kids' school activities, to hover over every practice. You know, what snacks is everybody going to bring? You don't have to be the snack mom. Like, we don't have to have that. Like,
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
When my kids, they're all gone now, in high school, where every kid drives a car, okay, they can go fend for themselves, they can pack a lunch, like there's no need to get people involved. And they're like, who wants to sign up to take food? It's like, why would I take food? Like, I don't know these people. I don't know what they like. Oh, and then you get the food allergies.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
It's just like, why didn't everybody just get their own food? Why does everything have to be a group activity by these helicopter parents?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
It's so... For me personally, more than most. But the lack of... skills emotionally and mentally to deal with adulthood was fucking, it ran over me like a choo-choo train.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
So I now have a room in my house dedicated to these toys for dogs that don't do what they're supposed to do. Right. And the problem is... You have to return it, but there's nowhere to return it. It's a fly-by-night deal.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
That's so cool. That's the best thing I've ever heard. I love that.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
If you review, I've had a podcast, as we've seen, there are rewards. for you, i.e., to fall in love. We're pushing love.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
So I've had it with fly-by-night ads, but then I've had it with myself for always taking the bait and just buying stupid shit that I should know beyond a reasonable doubt is not going to work like they are acting like it's going to work.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
So it's part grievance on myself and part grievance with false advertising. Who do you think is more at fault?
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
That cannot be real. I'm afraid so. Here's the deal. If your biggest problem in your life is that your little Johnny or little Debbie doesn't like how the water tastes, number one, good for fucking you. A lot of people don't even have fucking water. Number two... The fact that you would post it on the internet, a gripe about water, just shows how dumb you are.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
Thanks. Wow. First of all, I can solve this problem. It's called a hotel. It's not that hard. It just, that misses the point. No, I know, but these are how dumb they are that they're putting this on the internet. Like, solve your own fucking problems.
I've Had It
Cut the Apron Strings
See, my thing is, I mean, it's embarrassing to put that on the internet. I mean, that's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for the kid. And do you think the kid really asked her to put it on fucking Facebook?
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Like, I just don't want you attacking my phone nonstop. So they try to shame you for not being a part of their stupid loyalty clubs.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Yeah. Well, it's absolutely going to go beyond the pocketbook and for generations. And I really think that people don't understand, especially where we live, that Trump is not viewed as this big, tough guy, masculine energy. Outside of that bubble.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I mean, he is viewed as exactly what he is, a failed businessman, a blowhard, losing his mind, not athletic, little hands, destroying democracy, want to be a talk autocrat in bed with Putin. Like, it's not that hard. And I will tell you that I... I do not discount what he's saying because I think it's absolutely probably he's on the right side of history.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But I do like that Canada has gotten very pointed about they're not buying certain products from certain states, like red states. And that, to me, I see that as – a really good thing for Canada to do. People are, I mean, supposedly we're supposed to lose like 90, is it billion dollars in tourism this year? People not coming to the United States because it's not safe. They're deporting people.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Like this, it's not hard to look at. It's only the people that are looking at it through the Fox News lens or the paid Russian asset, Tim Pool lens. that they're saying, or Tucker Carlson, like he wants to be an autocrat. He is shipping people out of the United States into concentration camps. So I applaud what this guy's doing.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I've been really trying to cut back on certain brands that I order from, and it's really, really hard. I mean, it is really hard to do that. So you've got to make some rules.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
It's just, it's borderline like abusive that they just won't say, no, I don't want to be a part of your loyalty program. And they say, okay, that's fine. They have to browbeat you a little bit about it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Well, here's the thing. I think the breakdown is that you have people that actually believe that people are identifying as cats and they're getting their weenies whacked off and eating the dogs and eating the cats. People fundamentally, Donald Trump and the whole right wing, they have allowed people to crave into the cruelty, the racism, the misogyny.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
They like for other people to be victims of what they hate. And like see it all the time on Twitter, like, hey, I wanted you to deport, you know, brown people, but I didn't think you were going to deport, you know, my wife or my husband. People want cruel things to happen to other people. And I don't know if it's a human indecency thing. I don't know why. But Trump has unlocked it.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Well, and you have the Jesus leaders or the big mega church Christian pastors going all in for Trump when he is the most immoral, inhumane person. But I will say this on the trans thing. I was naive enough. When Fox News during the campaign, when they were like, you know, they spent millions and millions and millions of dollars on the trans issue.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I was naive enough to think nobody thinks this is happening. Like this isn't real. Only 3% of the population is trans. Less than 1%. I'm sorry, less than 1%. It's trans.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
There are not that many trans athletes trying to compete in sport, like all that shit, because you just know it's not true if you try, if you just give a glance at the news and then you see that people were galvanized by the thought of. the boy in the girl sports or the girl. And it's just, it's insanity. People are obsessed with this. And I don't know why.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I suspect it's something to do with religious issues, traditional gender values, but they are being fed this stuff. And the victims of all of this are all of us. Everybody is a victim. Trans people should be protected. They should not be bullied. This administration, this should go under a human rights violation, what they are doing to trans people, in my opinion.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I think that they want to deny their existence. I think it's more basic than freedom. They want them not to exist. They send gay people to conversion camp and don't think that's abuse. They think it's fine. They think that they can make them not gay.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I think just being in the megachurch world that I grew up in, it is denying that they exist in population, which they've existed since the beginning of time. I mean, so it's a no win. The right wing cannot win on this issue. They cannot take people out of existence as much as they might want to. They can deny all they want that they exist, but they exist. They've always existed.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
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I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
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Grifter-in-Chief
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I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
No, and I do think... When you talk about the traditional Republican or not, sorry, the centrist Democrat trying to get everybody, they're courting a vote they're never going to get. And I agree with you 100 percent. Either everybody has equal rights or nobody does. And you cannot go back now and like dump trans people off because Trump. fed that to the base.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
You've got to come in and say, why do you fucking care? Why are you all in these people's business? Why are you talking about it all the time? What's wrong with you? Well, then here's another thing.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
No, I think that they need to go – I mean, I think Democrats need to go on the offensive like you did in the podcast. The most genital-obsessed people on planet Earth. It's none of your fucking business. Why do you care? Shut the fuck up. I mean, just go straight offense at it because that's what MAGA would do. They go offense on everything that's stupid. They go offense on whacking wieners off.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And apparently for them, it's not. Well, I was going to say, it's obviously not because they want to regulate, you know, now MAGA, Trump administration saying, well, are you a practicing Jew or are you just Jewish? They're going into all religion. They're, you know, religious, anti-Christian bias. All this shit is not free. I have that. Anti-Christian bias. I have that. Okay.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But they're trying to make, they're doing a task force to investigate it. I'm being tongue in cheek here. No, but. I mean, technically we are. We'd be on the task force radar. But I'm just saying like they want as long as you agree with them, you have free speech. Anybody who doesn't agree with them, thought police, all that, then that's not free speech.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
He is so good. Okay, let me tell you what. I have all the shit, and I watch pretty closely all the stupid shit he sells. You know, the cups, the hats, everything. The T-shirts with his like bodybuilder picture on it when he's a fat ass. All that. The one that really got me the most, it wasn't the $200 watch he was selling for $200,000. That wasn't it. It was the Trumpy Trout.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
He had the fish on the wall that has his face on it and it talks. And it's called Trumpy Trout and it sings a little song. And that to me, I was just like, wow. Wow. Like this is a whole new level. So what was your, I mean, which one of them has stuck out to you the most? The Trumpy Trot always sticks out to me.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
I cannot stand that. And I'm probably particularly susceptible and triggered by that kind of thing because my ex-husband used to call me on the phone. He would dial my number and call me and say, I am too busy to talk to you today. And I'm like, motherfucker, you called me. Nobody solicited this information. If I didn't talk to you all day, it's fine.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
But he would call me periodically to update me on what he was doing and tell me how busy he was. And I just was like, motherfucker, I don't care.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
Right. And I do have friends that have super like call, call, call, call ex-husbands. And when we do the autopsy after the divorce, the husbands that are calling throughout the day all the time are being naughty. Yeah, that's just so that's that's one issue.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
We used to say we're not cool, but I'm going to change it. I'm going to update it. I think we're cool. We're definitely cool adjacent, if nothing else. I agree. You're cooler than me, I think. There's no question about that. Yeah. I mean, because he's right. I mean, I tried. Did I tell you after we talked about leaving reviews, I left a review of our podcast? Yeah, you did.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
And it took me longer than 10 minutes to figure out how. Kylie, do you think we're cool? I think you're cool. What's she going to say? Let's let her finish.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
What I like about Booking.com is I can find a great variety. vacation rental where my kids and I both have our own space and we have a common area to enjoy so we don't get sick of each other.
I've Had It
Grifter-in-Chief
is people, not people, companies always asking me, do you want to be part of our loyalty program? No, I don't. I don't want you to have my cell phone number. If it takes me giving you my cell phone number to be a member of your loyalty program, then I am out. So then when you say, no, I'm going to pass on your loyalty program, it says, oh, so you don't want the free rewards.