Anna Lembke

Over many years of seeing patients get into recovery from severe addictions, what I noticed was that those who seemed to get into the best recovery and be able to maintain recovery the longest were those who were committed to telling the truth.

That was a central value for them, which they saw as just pivotal for maintaining sobriety and recovery.

And I thought that was really interesting.

Like, what is it about truth telling that enables recovery and enables people to stay in recovery?

Because it just was such a consistent theme, whether they got into recovery through 12 steps like AA or NA or just through their own, you know, journey.

It was inevitable that they would be like, oh yeah, no, I can't lie.

And when they said that, they weren't just talking about I can't lie about my addictive behaviors.

They meant they couldn't lie about anything.

That the lying itself was sort of the first breach in the dam for them and that they had to be truthful in all things in order to maintain recovery.

So that was really interesting to me, and I began to explore that both from a scientific perspective as well as try to employ it in my own life.

He talks about this I and thou moment, which he believed can occur between any two individuals who just make the effort to be fully present with each other.

And it's a divine moment, right, where everything else falls away.

It's not sexualized love.

It's something akin to love.

But what's so interesting about this I and thou concept is that it can be achieved in a nanosecond with anybody.

You could achieve it with a stranger.

This idea being that when we kind of come to the encounter fully open and vulnerable in

in our shared humanity, and we see each other.

That's a really special and remarkable experience.

And I try to create that in my work with patients because that alone is healing.