Annie Joy Williams

This recent report from Zillow found that the typical combined cost of like going on one bachelorette trip, one wedding is $2,010, right?

And that's almost exactly the same as the average monthly rent in America.

And that same poll found that 46% of Gen Zers and millennials are actively sacrificing the quality of their homes to be in other people's weddings.

That means, like, they're living with an extra roommate or they're, you know, downsizing to a smaller apartment, less bathrooms, whatever.

They are actively sacrificing their quality of living on the day-to-day to be in other people's weddings, which I was like, that's absurd.

But I probably have done that subconsciously.

I was complaining about this to a male friend of mine, and he said, this is the most self-inflicted wound I've ever heard of.

You know, fair point.

I am an adult with agency over how she spends her money.

But I think there is a particular delicacy surrounding anything having to do with a good friend's wedding.

And I think one thing that people don't think about is when you say no to being in one wedding or going to one wedding, it kind of sets the tone for the rest of them.

For example, if you say no to being a bridesmaid in one wedding and then maybe next year you have enough money to say yes, that bride that you said no to might take it as, oh, I'm less important to her than the bride she just said yes to.

When in reality, it may just be that you find yourself in a better financial situation.

Like one of my friends, for example, who I interviewed for this piece,

She said no to the first bachelorette trip because of work.

And then she decided, I'm sticking by that line.

And, you know, she saved $10,000 by not going.

One way I think about it is like now that I'm 27, I've been in enough weddings to be a little exhausted.

I know that if it's not that close of a friend, I will just say no.

But when I was 21, you know, it was a lot harder to say no to these things.