Arthur Brooks

i don't know i've done all those things i don't know if i planted a tree that's what you're missing i don't have a green thumb you know so this is my problem i need to plant more trees but the whole point is that what those things have in common is that they're real they're in real life they're real achievements in real life they don't say plant a tree online you know pretend you're planting a tree you know get really good at doing it have a sun online

You know, the whole idea of simulating these experiences is unsatisfactory.

It simulates the experience in the moment.

That's another example.

Having friends is another way we think about it.

Virtual friends, they simply don't meet your needs.

And one of the ways that we know this is that the more virtual friends that you have, the less that you're actually illuminating in the experience of interacting with them the right hemisphere of your brain.

You know, one of the reasons that you don't like to do your show virtually is because you don't have the same experience.

And the reason is that you and I are connecting with our right brains right now.

You and I are friends.

I mean, we text and talk to each other even when we're not doing a show, which is great because we're friends and we have that connection.

texting relationship because we've actually looked at each other in the eyes and had real no fooling conversations with each other.

And that's how you have to link with other human beings.

Otherwise, it's a simulated friendship.

Because your brain actually apprehended that person in a different way.

What you did was you had an imprint of that person in flesh and blood in real life, which is, by the way, how the brain was evolved.

Our brains are more or less the same size and shape, slight physiological differences, but trivial for what we're talking about here, as they were 250,000 years ago in the middle Pleistocene.

And during that period, all human beings lived in bands of 30 to 50 individuals who are kin-based and hierarchically related.

And that meant that the relationship they had with each other was absolutely paramount, and our brains are wired for in-person relationships.

That's one of the reasons that you get oxytocin when you look at somebody in the eyes.