Arthur Brooks

Oh, men over-perceive attraction from women and women under-perceive attraction from men. Very reliably. Very reliably. It's like, ah, yeah, the waitress just smiled at me. I think she likes me. Dude. She wants a tip.

Oh, men over-perceive attraction from women and women under-perceive attraction from men. Very reliably. Very reliably. It's like, ah, yeah, the waitress just smiled at me. I think she likes me. Dude. She wants a tip.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And... And you don't see him the way he thinks you see him. Correct. And that's sort of weird that perception gets into it. No, I've... That's a funny thing, you know, in... My almost 34 years of marriage, nobody has ever, no woman has ever looked at me that way. Nobody. There's been the slightest hint of any attraction. Now, I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And... And you don't see him the way he thinks you see him. Correct. And that's sort of weird that perception gets into it. No, I've... That's a funny thing, you know, in... My almost 34 years of marriage, nobody has ever, no woman has ever looked at me that way. Nobody. There's been the slightest hint of any attraction. Now, I get it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And... And you don't see him the way he thinks you see him. Correct. And that's sort of weird that perception gets into it. No, I've... That's a funny thing, you know, in... My almost 34 years of marriage, nobody has ever, no woman has ever looked at me that way. Nobody. There's been the slightest hint of any attraction. Now, I get it.

I mean, it's not, I'm not like that much to look at, but you know, there's not, not once. I don't get guys who over-perceive. Never.

I mean, it's not, I'm not like that much to look at, but you know, there's not, not once. I don't get guys who over-perceive. Never.

I mean, it's not, I'm not like that much to look at, but you know, there's not, not once. I don't get guys who over-perceive. Never.

The insecure overachievers. So in, in, in relationships. Yeah. Yeah. So give me a story.

The insecure overachievers. So in, in, in relationships. Yeah. Yeah. So give me a story.

The insecure overachievers. So in, in, in relationships. Yeah. Yeah. So give me a story.

You're scaring people off. You're behaving in a weird way. Knowledge is power on this. Knowledge is always power on these things. One of the things that we find is that this is this whole literature on metacognition that suggests that when you move the experience of your emotions into your prefrontal cortex by journaling through, some people use therapy, through prayer, prayers of petition,

You're scaring people off. You're behaving in a weird way. Knowledge is power on this. Knowledge is always power on these things. One of the things that we find is that this is this whole literature on metacognition that suggests that when you move the experience of your emotions into your prefrontal cortex by journaling through, some people use therapy, through prayer, prayers of petition,

You're scaring people off. You're behaving in a weird way. Knowledge is power on this. Knowledge is always power on these things. One of the things that we find is that this is this whole literature on metacognition that suggests that when you move the experience of your emotions into your prefrontal cortex by journaling through, some people use therapy, through prayer, prayers of petition,

um through uh meditation for example meditation techniques mindfulness meditation techniques they move the experience of very strong aversive emotions into the prefrontal cortex where you can manage them more effectively one of the best ways to do this by the way is simple journaling of of strong emotions and and hard experiences so this gets back to something you asked about a little bit earlier which is anxiety

um through uh meditation for example meditation techniques mindfulness meditation techniques they move the experience of very strong aversive emotions into the prefrontal cortex where you can manage them more effectively one of the best ways to do this by the way is simple journaling of of strong emotions and and hard experiences so this gets back to something you asked about a little bit earlier which is anxiety

um through uh meditation for example meditation techniques mindfulness meditation techniques they move the experience of very strong aversive emotions into the prefrontal cortex where you can manage them more effectively one of the best ways to do this by the way is simple journaling of of strong emotions and and hard experiences so this gets back to something you asked about a little bit earlier which is anxiety

Right. Anxiety. So you're an anxious person. And what that means is you have an overactive adrenal system. You have an HPA axis that, you know, is kind of, and that's part of your success, by the way. I mean, it's like, would you trade it away if you could?

Right. Anxiety. So you're an anxious person. And what that means is you have an overactive adrenal system. You have an HPA axis that, you know, is kind of, and that's part of your success, by the way. I mean, it's like, would you trade it away if you could?

Right. Anxiety. So you're an anxious person. And what that means is you have an overactive adrenal system. You have an HPA axis that, you know, is kind of, and that's part of your success, by the way. I mean, it's like, would you trade it away if you could?