Arthur Brooks

And so I, and he said, and I said, so what did you think when you're, when you got rich, how life was going to be better?

How did you really think life was going to be better?

Because this is interesting for me as a behavioral scientist.

I mean, this is, this is deep.

And he thought about it for a while.

And he said, I thought that when I got rich, I,

that my wife would love me, really love me.

And I said, so what happened?

And he said, she didn't.

I just stared at me.

And it was this moment of pathos, right?

It was this moment.

It's like this.

What's pathos?

This moment of deep understanding and feeling, right?

That, and it's almost as if when he, he'd never said it before, when he articulated it, he understood it for the very first time.

Do you think he'd selected a wife that was the sort of person whose love needed to be won?

Of course.

Of course.

Because you know, if you believe that love is earned, then you're going to surround yourself with people who make you earn their love every single time.