Arthur Ciaramicoli

Well, using empathy.

Empathy actually produces the...

the connecting hormone, oxytocin.

It's called the love hormone or connecting hormone.

It relaxes our physiology.

It allows our brain to think more expansively.

And when we use empathy and interactions, we are more able to see the whole of a situation.

We're more able to perceive comprehensively.

So it is a lot about empathy training, teaching ourselves to not jump to conclusions, to not impulsively react.

to try to slow down enough to gain the facts.

When we sense in our body that we're starting to feel our blood pressure elevate, we have to teach ourselves to slow down because once we produce those stress hormones, our thinking is becoming very narrow and empathy goes out the window.

So this is a lot about teaching ourselves to be more empathic and realizing that when we do that and we produce this oxytocin, the compassion and connecting hormones,

it relaxes us and allows us to perceive much more accurately and comprehensively.

For instance, if you're in an interaction with a spouse or a significant other, and you come home from work and you walk in, and maybe your wife has had a bad day with raising three young children, and she...

immediately looks up and is washing the dishes and doesn't say hi and come over and kiss you and you react immediately by saying, I can't believe I worked all day and you're treating me this way.

And together you're off to the races.

Rather than walking into the house assuming that she's been alone with three young kids all day, she's probably going to be very stressed and she may not greet me in the most loving way.

So I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and try to slow down my reaction and ask her, gee, how are things going?

How can I help?

Maybe start picking up some of the kids' toys