Arturo Castro

You don't have to survive. Just hide and take a nap. Watch people going by. Read a fucking book. But no, no. Our pal Oleg had a little rumbly in his little tummy. So he decided to hitchhike to the nearest town and sit down for lunch. He slammed down a beer. He ate some chicken, bought another beer for the road, and he started walking back to the meeting place.

You don't have to survive. Just hide and take a nap. Watch people going by. Read a fucking book. But no, no. Our pal Oleg had a little rumbly in his little tummy. So he decided to hitchhike to the nearest town and sit down for lunch. He slammed down a beer. He ate some chicken, bought another beer for the road, and he started walking back to the meeting place.

How fast are you walking, bro? Like, yeah, it's completely far. You got four hours. And only now he realized that he had taken too long and that he might be late. This is the first moment it strikes him when he's walking back, right?

How fast are you walking, bro? Like, yeah, it's completely far. You got four hours. And only now he realized that he had taken too long and that he might be late. This is the first moment it strikes him when he's walking back, right?

So internally, he was like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm like, why did I not just wait there? Because externally, he was just like walking around with a bottle of beer, sprinting down the road as fast as it could be like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, the worst of all, he was wearing corduroy pants, which is a very, you know, a lot of chafing, buddy. You know, I don't know about if you've ever.

So internally, he was like, what the fuck am I doing? I'm like, why did I not just wait there? Because externally, he was just like walking around with a bottle of beer, sprinting down the road as fast as it could be like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, the worst of all, he was wearing corduroy pants, which is a very, you know, a lot of chafing, buddy. You know, I don't know about if you've ever.

Well, it's going to make a lot of noise. That's a lot of swooshing. None of this is spy like he's a chicken. His pieces of chicken are falling off of him. He's drinking beer. He's just in corduroy. He's weird. So fortunately, Oleg finally heard a truck going in the right direction, so he stuck out a thumb and caught another ride back to cover the 16 miles. He would have never made it on his own.

Well, it's going to make a lot of noise. That's a lot of swooshing. None of this is spy like he's a chicken. His pieces of chicken are falling off of him. He's drinking beer. He's just in corduroy. He's weird. So fortunately, Oleg finally heard a truck going in the right direction, so he stuck out a thumb and caught another ride back to cover the 16 miles. He would have never made it on his own.

Now, this is a true story. He tried to, in order to convince the truck driver to stop in the middle of nowhere, Oleg told the truck driver that he had an appointment to have sex in the woods, and the driver agreed. Obviously, the driver didn't look at his corduroy pants, because everybody knows you can't have sex in the woods with corduroy pants.

Now, this is a true story. He tried to, in order to convince the truck driver to stop in the middle of nowhere, Oleg told the truck driver that he had an appointment to have sex in the woods, and the driver agreed. Obviously, the driver didn't look at his corduroy pants, because everybody knows you can't have sex in the woods with corduroy pants.

Is there any other good excuses that I would get to be like, I am so sorry. Listen, dude, I was planning on robbing you, but I've changed my mind. Leave me off here. Yeah. You know, one of these, which might get you shot. I don't know.

Is there any other good excuses that I would get to be like, I am so sorry. Listen, dude, I was planning on robbing you, but I've changed my mind. Leave me off here. Yeah. You know, one of these, which might get you shot. I don't know.

It's like if I don't fucking catch this bird. I'm going to be the embarrassment. You understand? And the truck driver being a fellow Audubon Society member was like, say no more.

It's like if I don't fucking catch this bird. I'm going to be the embarrassment. You understand? And the truck driver being a fellow Audubon Society member was like, say no more.

The problem is getting him to go away. Keep me posted. That's right. Keep me posted. Here's my number. So Oleg swatted mosquitoes and swigged from his beer once he finally got there. And finally, he's waiting on the spot where his... Two cars pull up and his rescuers jumped out.

The problem is getting him to go away. Keep me posted. That's right. Keep me posted. Here's my number. So Oleg swatted mosquitoes and swigged from his beer once he finally got there. And finally, he's waiting on the spot where his... Two cars pull up and his rescuers jumped out.

Now they were surprised to see only one man and not the whole family as they had planned for but they opened the trunk for Oleg and he dove inside and they revved the engines and now Oleg was finally racing towards the border. Now in the trunk he had a bottle of water, sedatives for his children which he's not going to use now and a space blanket.

Now they were surprised to see only one man and not the whole family as they had planned for but they opened the trunk for Oleg and he dove inside and they revved the engines and now Oleg was finally racing towards the border. Now in the trunk he had a bottle of water, sedatives for his children which he's not going to use now and a space blanket.

They also knew that the Soviets scanned cars with infrared cameras at the Finnish border so they hoped that the metallic space blanket would hide Oleg from the cameras and allow them to pass through. Did they do any fucking tests on it? Like they were hoping? Here's like some plastic cellophane. Wrap yourself in this. Chew on these ice cubes. That's going to bring your body temperature down.

They also knew that the Soviets scanned cars with infrared cameras at the Finnish border so they hoped that the metallic space blanket would hide Oleg from the cameras and allow them to pass through. Did they do any fucking tests on it? Like they were hoping? Here's like some plastic cellophane. Wrap yourself in this. Chew on these ice cubes. That's going to bring your body temperature down.