Ayelet Fishbach

Do not goals are problematic, in particular when we think about the long run, when we think about doing things more than today and this week?

There are two reasons.

One reason is that this approach, this to-do goals approach,

tend to just bring to mind what you need to do, whereas the do not goals tend to bring to mind what you should not do.

So if you think that you should stop doing something or stop thinking about something, how do you know if you are successful?

You ask yourself, do I still have this forbidding thought?

Well, by asking, you bring it to mind.

The other reason is just reactance.

When I tell you that you should not eat something, this is exactly the thing that you want to eat.

Like, don't look to the right.

Well, everybody's not looking to the right.

Right.

Let me also say that the one big advantage of avoidance goals of do not goals is that they seem urgent.

If I tell you that you should stop each red meat, then it seems more urgent than avoidance.

let's say, eat more green vegetables.

And so avoidance goals have their place in our life.

They seem urgent.

Now, the question was also about needs versus wants, which somewhat overlap with the approach avoidance, but not totally.

There are things that we feel like we absolutely require to do, that we might feel that, like,

You know, a high school degree is like, I need to do it.