B.A. Parker
Appearances
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
It's one of the things where it's like, you have to, like, they're like, oh, well, Black women have to be hypervigilant because, like, we can't,
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
because you have the perceptions that the world have about us to get defensive, to not be good at your job, to not be on point is immediately a defect and already a ding against your character amongst what other dings happen just because of like the dual sides of oppression as being black and a woman. So to have ADHD on top of that and like, oh, well, why, why, Why did you not meet this deadline?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Why can't you answer these questions right now? All of these things you kind of have to overcompensate. I know that growing up, aside from having ADHD, I also had a social anxiety disorder. I was really shy and scared to talk to people. And being thrust into New York City at, like, 21, having to, like, just function and put yourself out there is a really scary thing.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And having all these things while being Black is, like, an added layer of neuroses. But like having women that I started getting on my For You page to be like, yeah, I also... Parker interrupted herself as she was saying this.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I forgot what the statistic was, but like the number of Black women in their 30s during the pandemic, they were... They had ADHD and learning that, like, they've had it their whole lives. And because you were functioning and because no one is looking into Black girls because they're doing, like, there's a lack of interest. And, you know, as long as they're keeping the status quo, they'll be fine.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Shout out to TikTok being my advocate. Who would have thought? Because the I think I'm on the side of TikTok that's like, I mean, doctors are helpful, but also like be able to ask for a second opinion because they have their own their own biases. And like, so I have to be mindful of that.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I didn't have that before. Now that I have, like, the language for it, it's been really helpful. Especially in meetings, because, like, my mind will wander. There's... Wait, okay, I'll show you this, because this is... She pulled out her phone and seemed to be scrolling through her photos. I mean, I swear I am paying attention during work. But I used to do this during work.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Like during meetings, like in-person meetings, I would list the whole actor's filmography in a notebook.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I believe that's Jeff Bridges. But that's what I would do during a meeting. I got reprimanded for that. They were like, we need you to focus during these meetings.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
But yeah, I just being able to explain some of that and having... other Black women on my timeline who had similar experiences and also being aware of, like, either why we were ignored or why we were focused in on and, like, why in workspaces these things happen and, like, how ADHD sits differently inside of Black women. Like, those kind of things were super helpful.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And I was like, oh, okay, this explains this. And... The nice thing is because of that, I have other Black female friends and they're like, wait, I have ADHD. I found out I have ADHD too during the pandemic. And it's nice to be able to have that.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Wait, have you talked to your family about your ADHD?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I, not to put my mom's business on, but I love my mom. But also I was like, I had to have a conversation. After I had the call with the psychiatrist, I was like, okay, here's the thing. I have ADHD. I'm gonna go on medication. It's okay. Plenty of people have this. And I think she thought it was just like, oh my God. But even now I have to be like,
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
To be fair, like, you do know, for lack of a better term, I am mentally ill. Like, you know, like, she's like, no, you're not. Those other, like, no. I mean, I'm in, like, the dots. Like, I'm on the list. But having to be like, okay. And then I'd be like, hey, you know it's hereditary, right?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
She came to visit after my diagnosis. She would leave a room and just leave a cabinet door open. And I was like, this woman. I love her. Like, this is... This is me. I was like, you know, you don't think like your impulse to like buy a purse you don't need to get like that kick.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
She's making more and more sense to me, like all of these like hyper fixations that pop up. It's going to do these things. And I was like, OK. The things that I think, I don't know, when I was a kid may have frustrated me a little bit. I'm like, why am I going to a wedding planners conference? I was like, like, she's just really into wedding planning for a while there.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And I was like, or she's got really into calligraphy.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Someone mentioned that someone else in our family was a young person with ADHD. I was like, that's great, so do I. Like, it's okay. And I think to be the adult, to be like, yay, I also have ADHD. The little kid's fine. They got superhuman strength. They have a spicy brain. We should be so lucky to have a spicy brain. Be fine.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Every couple of months, I think I'm going to learn how to draw. I buy a sketchbook. And then I'm like, no, there's a yoga mat in my apartment right now that I bought in the pandemic. Did I do yoga? Once. This is my friend Parker. And then I'll have like these impulses. I'll be like, okay, if I do this, this will exponentially make my life better. And then you're like, okay, now what?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Like, oh, this shelf is going to be the thing that's going to solve all my problems. Okay. Wearing a lot, man.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Sure. My name is B.A. Parker. I'm a radio host and an Aquarius with ADHD from a magical land called Baltimore.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I mean, I hate to say TikTok, but it was TikTok. There were certain things that TikTok figured it out before I did. And then my For You page started getting more and more ADHD focused. And I feel like they knew something I didn't. And it was less hot Mountaineer men. And whatever the hell I was watching in the town, like, you know, Canadians? And, like, K-dramas.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And then it became, like, are you a millennial with ADHD? And I was like, am I?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
You know, you're doom scrolling and then someone's like, hey, are cabinets bad for you? Do you, when a cabinet closes, do you, like a baby with no object permanence, forget that something exists? And I was like, wait, I do. Do you come into a room and forget what you're in there for? And I was like, I do. You push things off to the very last minute to do them. I was like, my whole life.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And it was like a lot of things like that. And I was like, wait, do I have ADHD?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Thank goodness I was also like going through therapy during the pandemic. And so I talked to my therapist about it. And my therapist was like, well, I mean, there are tests. You can take a test and, you know, we can figure this out.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Danielle, you should have started with that. No, I gave these people legit money from my bank.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Hold on. Hold on, hold on, because the thing, the results are still in here. Really? ADHD. Let's see what happens when you click in ADHD. ADHD online. Hold on. ADHD online diagnosis and treatment. ADHD online LLC. This was November 20th, 2020.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I've been a book and film nerd since I was like five. And I can tell you who won the Oscar since 1973. And I remember when the Golden Globe nominations would come out, we would put up the Christmas tree and I would tell my mom who got nominated that day, Mom couldn't give a flying kitty about who was nominated for a Golden Globe. But I cared because I was 12 years old and what was I going to do?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And I mean, fortunate enough that I was able to use that and, you know, went to film school and became a film professor. But, like, it all stemmed from, like, a hyperfixation as a child. I was like, oh, okay, well, that makes sense.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
Then I saw how much those psychiatrists cost. So then I called a couple of them and they were like, I heard some money that was not in my price range. And I was like, I guess I'm just going to be out here mentally ill.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
And then having to talk to him, and then I was just like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to adult this. Like, this is just a weird, like, it was very, like, solo. It was a very solitary journey. So I was just trying to navigate this as best as I could, but also, like, forget about it because I also had to work. And so, like, I think I had my interview with this guy at, like,
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
7.30 at night because I was like, I got to work all day. And because I'm working at home, it was like, oh, I forgot to eat. And then I was like, oh, I have to fix a meal after this whole day. And now I have to talk to this guy. And now I'm stressed out about this meeting.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I remember, like, it was something that a TikTok had told me, like, oh, when you have an appointment in the middle of the day, do you just, like, forget everything that you have to do because you're very focused on that appointment? And I'm like, yes. Oh, no. So, like, there's all of these things. So, like, I had this appointment with this guy. So I was already stressed out about that.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I had to make sure that, like, my ring camera was on so I didn't want to look. I was like, how do I not look shady? Like, how do I look like a normal person? Like, I had all of these in my head.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I didn't want to look. It was like drug-seeking behavior. There's something so weird about telehealth and talking to someone to be like, hey, I have this problem and I can only get help through you. What can we do about that?
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I was like, I have ADHD, and I'm just trying to figure out ways to handle this effectively. And he was like, are you sure you don't have bipolar disorder? And I was like, oh, I'm sure. I'm like, I am very sure that I do not have bipolar disorder. Like, I'm not manic. I don't have, like, epic highs and epic lows.
Climbing the Walls
How social media changed ADHD forever | 3
I don't know what happened, but it's like the algorithm heard the conversation and figured out, like, you're a Black woman with ADHD. So I started getting more of those TikToks. So, like, a lot of those women were being told they had bipolar disorder. And they were like, no, no, no, this is just ADHD. This is just ADHD.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
I like that. That's how I feel. I'm loving the analysis. The best I can compare it to is you ever watch like The Traitors? It's like a group of people who are using their behavioral skills to figure out if someone is like a traitor. Yeah.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
And everyone all of a sudden thinks they're Dr. Phil. Or they'll be like, oh, he twitched. That means he's lying. Or like, oh, they went into this hallway. Clearly they are a traitor. But that's all of us. That is the level of like kind of like literacy we're on right now.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
Someone made that up on Twitter and people just ran with it. We're at the point where I have to like explain to a relative, like, no, no, this is AI. Rihanna is not showing her sonogram to her grandmother and posting it on Facebook. That's like a legit thing that happened to me this weekend. I had to be like, that's not real.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
Oh, we don't have subtext anymore. Like, we have subtext, but we can't read it.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
I mean, I had recently. I was watching clips of an interview that Katie Couric had with Noah Wiley, who's the star of The Pit. Oh, yes. She asked him a question that gave the feeling like... she hadn't absorbed anything that was happening on the show. There's like a big scene between Noah Wiley's character and Dr. Collins, who's like a black doctor.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
And Katie Couric says, so was something going on between the two of those characters?
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
And I was like, oh, we don't have subtext anymore. Like we have subtext, but we can't read it. Like someone has to blatantly say, hey, remember that thing we did like five years ago? This is how it made me feel. Yeah.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
I mean, there is like this frustrating aspect of it, like the online discourse. We've heard like the bean soup problem. No. There's a thing on TikTok.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
There was like a TikTok video of a lady was like, here's how I make my bean soup. And someone in the comments was like, but I don't like beans. How do I make this soup? And the creator was like, you just don't make the soup. Like, the soup's not... There's other soups. There's other soups. And that, I feel, has, like, infiltrated our media absorption.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
So there's, like, a lot of, like, very selfishly, like, how does this pertain to me? Or it's like... this makes me uncomfortable, therefore I don't like it. Or, oh, it has all these guys that I really like, so yeah, this movie's problematic, and it's not very good, but I love it, therefore it makes it a good movie. And, I mean, okay, sure.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
Listen, being a 14 year old girl watching Todd Solon's films for the first time.
It's Been a Minute
Pop culture has a "bean soup problem."
That'll that'll like, oh, I feel uncomfortable. This is weird. But also I respect the craft. My moral compass doesn't make the whole movie bad. It's like saying, oh, Hannibal Lecter's a cannibal. How dare he? I would never be a cannibal. Therefore, Silence of the Lambs is a terrible movie, which is patently untrue. We can't use our morality to gauge the validity of art.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
It's like when you get that little tap on the shoulder from the universe or the ancestors or whatever you believe in, where it's just like, this person is not for you. And it's like, in response to something that is usually just innocuous or everyday, something that if someone you were not interested in was doing, you'd be like, oh, whatever.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
But because this is somebody that you are potentially exploring, like... sharing something with or being in a relationship with, you're like, uh-uh, this can't fly for you. Those other people, they could do that. But you, because you were mine, uh-uh. Not with me.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
So tricky is like, oh.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
That's tricky. They're just trying to insert a little bit of fun into the dreariness of life. And this person couldn't take.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
If it's once in like every three months or something, or even once a week, I'm like, I'm not going to take that away from somebody.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
If they're like a feline biologist or something, like we don't, I think we're missing part of the story. I think we're missing part of the story.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
There are moments to be serious and then there are moments to be unserious. And you got to pick wisely.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
I don't know. I feel like when it comes to language and like people's little verbal isms and how they make the English language theirs, I'm usually err on the side of being okay with that kind of stuff because you got to take your wins where you can find them.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
Since you think everything is artsy.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
Like, I think sometimes people lean on the ick as like, I don't want to date, so I'm really just going to find an excuse. Like, sometimes people can search for an ick, and then sometimes the ick bites you.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
And so I think for people who are searching for an ick, they're already looking for a way to get out of a relationship. But for people who like get bitten by the ick, I think sometimes it can be intuition. Does your date need to have seven beers in one date?
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
A red flag to me is just another data point.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
I think that if the ick is something that just exists in the dating pool and we all sort of have access to the ick, we can get the ick, then I think that it's perfectly reasonable that people who also hold racist beliefs will then use the ick.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
Like, it's a really useful tool for people who already have a predisposed dislike or what have you towards a group of people to then say, oh, this is actually something that is just a natural response for me and not something I can control or unlearn. Like, it gives people a way out of there, out of just saying, I don't like Black people.
It's Been a Minute
Your date gave you 'The Ick?' That might be a YOU problem.
It's just a preference.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Okay. Girl. Willful. Say more. Willful ignorance. Like, yeah, I need an example. There's a woman on Twitter who was so proud to showcase her doctorate thesis. Like, she published it, and all of these men attacked her online. And, like, the biggest attacker was like, well, she says modern and contemporary, and those are the same thing.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
And they were like, no, well, modern is from, like, 1860 to 1960, and contemporary means now. And he was like, no. It's similar. It's the same thing. Two of the same words. And like double down.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Yeah, and just did not care. And, like, that is, like, I feel like that is what we are living in right now. Like, hey, here's all the facts of the thing. Like, this is why you're wrong. Like, no, I don't believe it. I don't care. Or not even like I don't believe it. It's just I don't care.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I mean, my personal biggest flop is Cybertrucks.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I think because I personally hate them so much. And I feel like they keep trying to make them happen. And I see them throughout Brooklyn, but they are just not that girl. Whoever is in it, you're not that girl either. So that is my personal flop is the Cybertruck.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Let's wrap it up. Let's wrap it up.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Why am I always getting Mudang when I'm on I-Band? Like, why? This is the second time I've been on your show and you want to talk about Mudang.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
It feels like propaganda.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Not a fan. Not a fan.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I feel like for the past few months, I keep hearing the phrase crash out. I feel like the youths have discovered crash out. That's a good one.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
And I keep hearing like, ah, look at this person crash out. Look at this crash out. I feel it too. I think I've also put it in the group chat. Don't want to crash out.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
To crash out means to be panicked and therefore maybe not totally responsible for your behavior.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
For better or worse. And they usually revolve some sort of regret or apology afterwards.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
You can't double down on a crash out though.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I thought that was the point. Unrepentant. Have you crashed out? No, because I listened to Cowboy Carter all year long and I've been okay. Okay.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
See how my mom's making me food? Very classy.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
Thank you. It's nice to know that I'm right. This is good.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I picked the most popular one, I think, the Kendrick Lamar and Drake beef.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I remember I woke up and then I heard, I was like, oh, Kendrick got a new song. And it was like, Adonis, I wish your grandfather wore a condom. And I was like, golly, what is going on? And we're still in the throes of that beef. It is never going away.
It's Been a Minute
Ranking the best and worst of 2024: Moo Deng, Drake & Crashing Out
I feel like every one of Aisha's nominees has been a ministry.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
It's so difficult to get distribution because of the subject matter, which I mean, I haven't heard of this kind of like soft censorship since the Nixon era when there were documentaries like Hearts and Minds, which won the Oscar in 1975. which was a critique on the Vietnam War and that also had distribution issues because it sympathized with the Viet Cong.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
You know, when you're watching a black film, a film with a predominantly black cast and the one white guy, like white savior comes in and is like, I'm here to help. I'm here to learn. I'm here to listen. And it kind of like takes a little bit of the air. But that co-sign is essentially what the institution needs.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
slowly but surely, the more Palestinian art was being submitted to the Oscars, you would notice that it was being co-directed by an Israeli director in order to give it legitimacy, which feels icky, but is also just inherently a part of Western art.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
I mean, that's so real because I think about, was it the first... the first Palestinian film nominated for an Oscar is Paradise Now, which, I mean, congratulations, but also the story is about two Palestinian suicide bombers in Tel Aviv. Like, and now we've, what, 19 years later, now we get, like...
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
this documentary that is well-rounded in like the experience of being Palestinian in a way that honestly would not have been considered or allowed 19 years ago, which isn't even that long ago.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
Why don't we make it a movie right now?
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
Oh, my goodness. But you need one. Can I tell you my favorite? Mine is bus. Club. Another bus.
It's Been a Minute
Is Hollywood soft censoring Palestinian art?
And I'm just like, oh, bus. I got two more tracking sessions today and an interview. That's what I've been saying already today.
This American Life
823: The Question Trap
At Code Switch, we're interested in how race and identity shape your world in real and confusing and sometimes funny ways. From riots to race science to the rise of the BBL. Code Switch is a place where we think out loud about how race and identity are connected and how our lives are made richer by it all the time. Come work it out with us together on the Code Switch podcast from NPR.
This American Life
823: The Question Trap
If you say Serena Williams, and they say, oh, I think she's overrated. Or if you say Jada Pinkett, it's like, well, she's too masculine, or she's ruining Will Smith's life, she's controlling him. Or, how do you feel about Lizzo? They're like, oh, she needs to cover her ass. I bring up a black female celebrity,
This American Life
823: The Question Trap
to get their opinion on them, and it usually becomes like a litmus test for how they would treat me as a partner, how they would view me as a person.
This American Life
823: The Question Trap
And he was like, he was like, I don't know what to say here. Because I like talking to you, but I don't love Beyoncé. And I don't want you to be mad at me.
This American Life
823: The Question Trap
I was like, what are you talking about? What are you? And he was like, I know girls do this. And I was like, you're right. And I'm sorry. I apologize. And I was like, well, I guess that's kind of the right answer. So we had a couple more dates.
This American Life
853: Groundhog Day
Yes, the answer is probably I can't remember. Oh no, porridge, porridge. Porridge and blueberries. Okay. it's not hard to remember okay porridge and blueberries do you want to tell me what you've had for breakfast this morning oh if i can remember oh yes i had uh i had um as a hint porridge yeah porridge and um delicious uh berries
This American Life
853: Groundhog Day
Honestly, I can't remember. Oh, yes, I can. It's porridge, as usual.
This American Life
853: Groundhog Day
What? We talked about what I had for breakfast? Yes. Okay. So, I had, um... Did we have it for breakfast? Anyway, it was lovely. Mmm. Just take the last mouthful. I'm sorry to take so long.
This American Life
853: Groundhog Day
I had... I had... I was going to say breakfast. I had... Wait a sec, I'm so sorry.