Ben Addison
Appearances
Big Time
The Ride | 4
Oh gosh, what didn't he have? At some point, there was cancer everywhere. And at one point, they were going to cut his leg off because he had bone cancer in his leg and all this other stuff and ended up with stage four terminal brain cancer.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
So I'm thinking, okay, we're going to do a surprise birthday party for John for his 50th and all these other things. Well, I go in, I'm like, hey guys, I said, yeah, I'm excited. We're going to, you know, let's plan John's 50th birthday party. They're like, what are you talking about? They told Ben straight out. We believe John does not have cancer.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
I'm like, oh, I've been kind of waiting for five years for someone to come and tell me this, or at least to confirm my suspicions.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
They picked this one Saturday. It was like at 4 o'clock, and they're like, we're coming over, you know, it was like a full intervention type of thing.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
We're all sitting in the living room and I'm actually sitting in the dining room in a chair kind of looking in. I'm like, I don't know if I really want to be full part of this. And they just started asking questions and literally, you know, what's the name of your doctors? He would never even tell me the name of his doctors or anything.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
He gave them a name and they Googled it and there was no such person. The person just did not exist. They ask, can we see medical bottles, pill bottles, receipts? You know, you go to the doctors just for a checkup and they give you a 10 page printed copy of all your vitals and your history and everything. And then they're like, OK, well, then go down to the hospital and get it.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
Well, I can't get it without my doctor. I was like, what are you talking about? Well, you said you just had chemo. Show me the scar. Show me the hole. Show me the whatever. And there was nothing. And we're on for, like I said, about an hour. He kept denying it. No, no, no, I have it. And then at one point he just said, I can't do this anymore.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
I'm like, is he going to run? Is he going to do something? And he came in just, you know, deflated. And I'm like, you got to go. We are done. You cannot be here anymore. And I think the words that he said was, I know. So it wasn't like, I'm sorry or anything like that. My mind just went crazy. Part of me was like, yes, finally the out that I have.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
John said he wanted to be cremated. We talked funeral plans and filled out all these things, what he wanted to do when he died. To have someone carry his ashes with them when they were in Pelotonia.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
But then it turned into the, oh shit, what have I done for the last 18, 17 years?
Big Time
The Ride | 4
So I open it up, and I'm looking at it, and everyone's just looking at me like, my face goes pure white, and they're like, what's wrong? Ben figured this must be John's apology. It wasn't. It literally was a room by room inventory of what he wanted from the house.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
I stopped trusting people. Now, if someone says they have cancer, I want to see the port. I'm going to see the IV. I want to see, you know, forget HIPAA. Show me the medicine bottles.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
I mean, that's a very short question, but I think it would have to be that open-ended. Someone's like, did he abuse you? I'm like, not physically, but mentally, he tore the shit out of me.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
He fooled so many people, you know, doctors who afterwards then questioned themselves. It's like, I'm an MD. How did I fall for this guy? But he was just, it was Jim Jones. We all drank the Kool-Aid and he was very convincing.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
You know, that's when he became the star. Ben says everyone wanted to be around John. I jokingly said, you know, he was the queen and I was Prince Philip. I walked five feet behind him and carried the purse or the bag when he's shaking hands and autographing.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
I'm sitting at a bar in the Castro, and my phone rings, and I see it's him. And I go to pick it up, and I'm like, hey, how's it going? Blah, blah, blah. And, ha, ha, ha, ha, hi, how are you? And I'm like... What is going on? And then apparently this new drug that he was on that was supposed to break the brain barrier affects your vocal cords or something else.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
So here I am sitting in a bar, you know, it's Sunday Funday in San Francisco, literally bawling my eyes out. People are coming over. Are you okay? Did someone die? What's going on?
Big Time
The Ride | 4
Whenever I'd land somewhere, you know, he'd take me to the airport and I'd get on a plane and fly somewhere. I'd get off the plane and get to the hotel and call him and say, hey, I'm in so-and-so. How are you? He's like, oh, when I was driving back from the airport, I had a nosebleed and a headache and I went to the hospital and they did a scan and the cancer's back.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
They did not want him to take pain medication because in case he would stroke out or have something, they didn't want the pain meds to override any pain that he should have to know that he needs help. So his story was they give him the pain meds through his IVs when he was down there. But at home, even when he seemed like to be in the most excruciating pain...
Big Time
The Ride | 4
He told me that he would find lumps of hair on his pillow. At the time, a lot of this because of him having cancer, getting up and whatever, we had separate rooms just so that he would not interrupt my sleep. There were other places, you know, like eyebrows, eyelashes, pubic hair, other places that people were like, well, normally it affects hair.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
He loved singing. We were into similar movies. I remember it was 2001. Moulin Rouge had just come out. He had the cassette. He wanted me to cassette tune. We would sing, you know, Elephant Love Medley and all the other songs from Moulin Rouge. I think our first date was actually going to the movies to see that.
Big Time
The Ride | 4
every hair not just the hair in your head but you know that was getting into all these new medications and part of it was pelotonia i mean pelotonia's goal in life is to raise funds to find cures for cancer and part of what he was telling us is that they found this new drug that will not make you lose all your hair which made sense but not really ben's but not really is pretty significant