Ben Mandelker

He has been identified as Luigi Nicholas Mangione.

This assailant starts firing at him. And the suspect. He has been identified as Luigi Nicholas Mangione.

This assailant starts firing at him. And the suspect. He has been identified as Luigi Nicholas Mangione.

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She likes arts. well done it's it's it's really it was it's an amazing video uh two two videos at least i don't know if there's another video but they're they're they're really worth watching uh also as long as i mentioned this a few days ago but in case you didn't listen to that episode i will say it here on the salt lake city episode i apologize for devaluing bronwyn's passport holder gift

I personally thought they were tchotchkes. Many people who are up on their passport holder knowledge wrote me messages to say they were actually $600 a piece. They were like Kelly Ben Simone's or something like that. I forget the Judith Lieber, Kelly Lieber, Joanna Lieber, whoever it is. It's a designer passport case. I stand corrected. It turns out they were not tchotchkes.

Although to me, they look like they were from Zazzle. But either way, now we know. Now we know the truth.

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You guys have really no idea how many messages I got every single day. It'd be like, hey, I was just catching up on Salt Lake City, and that passport holder, it's actually $600. Here's the link. I was like, how does everyone know about it? Did it go viral? Was it a thing? Why do people know about the passport holder? I don't know. But then again, I guess everyone knows different things, right?

It's just so funny that a passport holder landed on so many people's radars.

Well, when you have a line, you don't need a glam passport holder, baby. Baby!

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And Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James.

I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.

That's major.

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This is some good old aqua aerobics shade. So they do. This is what they also did on Orange County last year, I think. Didn't they do some aqua aerobics? So I wonder if it was the same guy. Did they go to Puerto Vallarta last year when they went on the Mexico trip? I don't know.

So they do this, and they're doing aquaerobics, and then we see Whitney's like, Angie has zero rhythm, because they all have to do this alligator thing with her hands, like left, right, left, right. And we see Angie is 100% out of sync. All their hands go up and her hand is down. All their hands go down, her hand is up. It was amazing. It was like me.

Speaking of pressure, no, don't start from the beginning.

You went too far, too far back, Angie. Come on. I mean, Whitney, Whitney, forward, Whitney, forward. You exploited my vagina. That's too far back.

Speaking of pressure. Wow. That water aerobics was good. It was much harder than I thought. Speaking of harder than I thought, God, Bronwyn. Whitney's segue into talking shit. So she's like... Yeah, I felt bad. She, you know, cause we've all been in that position.

And Heather's like, I feel bad for her when she was talking about how the dog bites, all the dog bites and how Todd wouldn't even come to the ER. And then we see them talking about the dog bites and stuff. And apparently, oh yeah, this is the flashback. Lisa's like, so were you in shock or were you screaming or were you crying? Like, what was that like?

Was it like that time I went to Taco Bell and the Diet Coke machine was broken? Oh, the trauma is coming back. Oh.

Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the one, the only, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Good. How are you, Ben? I'm just fabulous doing just fabulous. You know, it's Thursday. We're about to head in for our winter break. We're so excited for it.

Well, when he saw the gaping wounds and the pools of blood and the festering rabies in my leg, he thought, okay, well, maybe it's not a scratch. And Heather's like, it is not a scratch.

Speaking of pressure, I need to grab a water bottle. It's just off of camera, so I'm going to step away for three seconds while I grab it. Vamp, vamp, vamp.

Imagine if there was something called Werther's Fakes. um also by the way there is a delicious irony in todd there's an there's delicious irony in todd ceo of palm pilot talking about like about knowing when to walk away i'm like sir where are the palm pilots where are the palm pilots now yeah uh so um yeah this is pretty crazy you know but they're gonna make this a huge

So Heather is like, well, I just don't benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry. I tried to give him benefit of the doubt earlier in the season, but it's it's gone. It's gone.

And we got Salt Lake City to talk about today. In case you are under a rock, we are going back on tour next year. And we're going to tons of different places. And actually, we have a pretty big announcement. which is we can now officially say that we are doing our very first ever Vegas show. We are going to Las Vegas. It took us long enough, right?

You're the giant corporation. Marla Thomas and Jennifer Aniston are going to, they were like, Jennifer Aniston's like, I was, I was just about to go to the crappies, but now I'm going to have to back out.

He's in a hot tub playing a saxophone, hoping he can... He can tell people he's a California raisin. Yeah, no, it's not the same. Well, whatever. I don't care. I don't know. I actually have no... I don't care. And I don't know why I'm about to just take a stance. I was like, sometimes when you take a stance, I'm like, I'm going to take a stance too. And I was like, I have no idea.

So that show is, of course, I don't actually have the date, but it's going to be in May, and we're really excited. It's going to be at Wiseguy's. Tickets are on sale tomorrow, but there's actually a presale happening now for our Patreon patrons. That's going to be on May 15th. So we are so excited to do our first Vegas show. It's going to be wild and crazy.

yeah i think i would like to stay in that beetlejuice house and just have fun you know um i think can you imagine all that dog poop in a two-bedroom apartment i mean then you're really sleeping this doesn't work it doesn't work uh by the way when heather says you know in my marriage i put myself on the back seat that now now this whole season makes sense because when she met bronwyn and they were hanging out bronwyn was in the front seat and heather was in the back seat of the car so no wonder why heather was tr was triggered by her the back seat is her trauma space

It all makes sense now.

Yeah. She just has to be in the right row.

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Fuck them.

Shame them for their actions. Yes. Okay. So now everyone is... All the girls, they're going out to a patio and there's gifts. And Lisa's like, Hi! Is everyone ready for yacht day? Here's some Vita bags. They have your names on them. So then Bronwyn, she gives...

them all a tote bag a canvas a nice canvas tote bag with stuff in it and Bronwyn's like obviously Lisa thinks I'm too bougie to function and I'm spoiled so like the grateful guest I am I will accept this gift but you know I'm also wondering I mean who would use a canvas bag am I right like okay Bronwyn This is not the hill to die on.

I think this is like, she's trying to be like, what a ridiculous, like, I'll be grateful for this totally unusable, lacking in function gift. I'm like, and she's like, what would you use a canvas bag for? Even the producer's like, do you go grocery shopping? She's like, no. I mean, what do you, what do you, do you put this on your head?

Also, people have been asking for the ticket links. for Austin and Dallas and Charlotte. We finally have the links up. The pre-sale there is happening also today. And all the tickets for Vegas, Dallas, Austin, and Charlotte, those will all be on sale to the public tomorrow, which is Friday, December 20th, as well as all of our other dates, including February 1st, which is the Golden Crappies.

It's actually the most useful gift we've ever seen on any Housewives show. On a franchise where, like, every gift is some strain. It's like a lotion that no one's ever going to use or some tchotchke jewelry or whatever. Like, a tote bag is an actively useful gift. I want to beat a tote bag. And Bronwyn is like, what do you even use this for?

almost drove off a cliff so she's counting iconic lines as she goes to sleep whitney whitney of course is so obnoxious because meredith is clearly mapping so when he's like meredith meredith are you okay I'm just closing my eyes. I didn't sleep very well. Maybe you noticed that when most people close their eyes, they're trying to nap. But thanks a lot for waking me up.

throwing up and i said i said this isn't fair you're throwing up but when i throw up no one pays attention to me no one gossips about me when i throw up but when merida throws up we all gossip about her that's just not fair what about me commercials here comes one right now Today, the LGBTQ plus community is at a crossroads with our loved ones and hard-won rights increasingly under attack.

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you know at the beginning of the year it's been a very challenging year for henry um in the beginning i feel like he like didn't want to make friends and he like wasn't trying to make friends but then after being forced to go on several mini dates with me and john he was like oh my god i need a social life so it all worked out in the end yeah it's not his friends like i'll drop him off at the movies and i'll meet his friend john

Yeah. And we just like love him. We're like doting on him. He's like, and how about all of his cologne collection? Oh yeah. He's up to 15 colognes. I was like, something's going on with the collections on this show between the Starbucks cups and the colognes. I don't know. We got to check in on Salt Lake City. Let's get some better collections.

Go check out Instagram because over the next few days, it's Instagram.com slash Watch What Crappens. Over the next few days, we are going to be soliciting ideas and suggestions for things like best moment of the year, best fight, best quote, things like that. We need your help because our memories are only so good. So go do all the things, and it's going to be a great new year.

Brittany goes, and so she's, by the way, we're, this is actually kind of nice because Henry was having issues, you know, like I still think that story about no one coming to his birthday party is so heartbreaking. And so, and I know it was like, okay, invitations were sent out late, but it's still really sad. And it makes me, it does, does make me happy.

And this is like, this is actually a nice moment for Lisa. And then Brittany just pushes forward and she goes, oh, you guys this is so unsupportive because like last night i gave you a story about olivia and then it was like a really big deal and then it was just like crickets and they're all like who's olivia

And Bronwyn is like, well, let me give that a little nod. And I was like, the difference is I know Henry and I see him. He's a real person to me. I don't know who Olivia is. I mean, are you just talking about scandal? Because knowing you, you could just be talking about scandal.

Hi, Ma. It's like, you know, wait. This is my daughter, Olivia.

And I feel, I feel like, well, we weren't even talking about you. Uh, we were talking about Lisa's son.

Are you talking about What's-Her-Face?

Raven-Symoné? That's Raven, right? Is it? Raven-Symoné?

Great, great, great new year.

I just want to show you the big bold letters on my screen. You're like, why don't we have it in big bold letters? It's literally big bold letters. It's on screen. Crap is on demand. Sorry.

You know what? Can I tell you something? Wait, look at this picture of Raven-Symoné. This is actually kind of an amazing thing right here. I'm bringing it up right now. Present. Here it is. Oh, wait, it's Judith Lieber, everyone. Judith Lieber. That's so Judith.

Britney just is. She's just so clunky with her housewifery that she just doesn't realize how clunky she is. And the bar is low on this show. Again, we have Whitney Rose. Speaking of pressure, and if you can't even get up to Whitney's level of clunky, Whitney is base level clunkiness. The base amount of clunkiness you're allowed to have in order to do, like, have acceptable housewife moments.

Mm-hmm. So Brittany is like, Bronwyn, you are a fucking bitch. And Bronwyn's like, well, do you have anything else to say? She's like, I mean, why are you such a troublemaker? She's like, oh, no, I'm looking at Lisa.

so she's like it turns out this was actually all a ploy this was all a ploy to make uh lisa fall into a trap like will lisa defend me right now she's like let me let me push britney to the edge that way britney says something mean about me now let's see if lisa defends me

Sorry, I got tangled in my carpet. So did Lisa.

Meanwhile, the first three seasons of this show was a round robin of people accusing other people of not having the back. I'm your ride or die. I will ride or die. You're not being ride or die for me. I'm your ride or die. You've got to be ride or die.

Like, this whole show was built on complaining about other people not having each other's backs, so then Lisa being surprised that Bronwyn's just gonna enter the fray and pull, like, the standard Salt Lake City card, and she's like, wait, why?

Because, although, on the other hand, the whiplash or the pivot from, like, nice scene talking about Henry to all of a sudden Lisa has done something terribly wrong and she didn't even realize, it's pretty funny.

I'm trying to be a great friend to you and there's like nothing good enough because except when I tell you that I don't feel close to you and you don't

fucking care lisa braun lisa tells us braun you're a big girl i don't know why every time you're in a fight with someone i have to be in a fight with them too i don't expect you to be in fights with everyone that i'm in fights with or trust me you would have no friends and then she smiles at the camera like bitch meanwhile fast forward to angie and meredith at the end of the episode and lisa jumping in on meredith's behalf so she's like i don't understand what i have to if you're fighting with someone why do i have to be involved and later on she like happily inserts herself

You know what, it's not a show about Utah unless there's a reference to a swing. So she- Literal swingers everywhere we turn. Literal, literal swingers. So she gets a text from Whitney and to go meet Whitney and to say, come meet me and Angie for water aerobics in 20 minutes.

I don't know if there is a villain this season. I think they're all just, they're all just stepping up to the plate, going after each other. They like do their time and then someone else comes up. So I don't know. I'm not getting villain. I think Lisa is just being Lisa.

Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap. For part two, keep an eye on your podcast feed. It is coming up in just a moment. Thanks so much for listening. Catch you on the second half. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

Dana C. Dana Do. Erin McNicholas. She don't miss no trickless. Jamie. She has no less namey. You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

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Have a heck of a time with Rebecca.

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.

Nobody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.

And we see just people, like, Bronwyn's brushing her teeth, Meryl's drinking coffee, Lisa's getting glam, and Lisa is texting everyone. She's like, Hi! Hi, girls! We have a beautiful breakfast in the villa today, and then we're going on a little yacht ride, and be sure to be ready for the yacht! I don't love on! Did you see Lisa's tweet that she tweeted out last night? No. What'd it say?

Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a can in Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain.

um it said this is her tweet this is the entirety of her tweet liars need to shut their mouth mom mom it has it has so many retweets it's just her liars need to shut their mouth sometimes you just keep need to keep it simple you know

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Swings, am I right? So then we go over to Bronwyn's room and she's also getting into glam. And so she calls Todd. She's like, what's going on there? Are the dogs okay, Todd?

a hallway away you know this was bronwyn's um this was her like sob story episode and i don't mean that in a i don't mean that in a dismissive way but like all great housewives they know how to clap back they get into fights they hold their own but when the when the pressure's on they they give the sob story this is like what leon locken would do at all times like when leon locken was caught with every episode

Leanne Locken was the best. She's like, well, I'm sorry.

Now I'm not saying also that what Bronwyn says later in the episode is just like some, like what, like a, like a silly story that she manipulates for tears. It's like, it doesn't matter.

But the point is that she, this is her episode. This is her episode.

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The CEO of Bomb Pilot cheated on me.

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But you'll fit right in. she's i mean she's going to she's going too fast like she we saw season one bronwyn season two we're on like are we already on season four bronwyn and we haven't even finished like episode 14 or whatever like this is uh she's like her her

The fact that she's already at this place of taking one comment and reading so far into it that then she comes out of it saying like, and you just called me a snob. You have to be you have to have a few seasons on your belt before you're doing that sort of thing. So she's really she's she's going too fast. She's going to explode.

I know. Was this Bobby? Bobby, were you taking secret footage of your parents doing water aerobics?

Bobby, why are you talking like that?

We haven't seen much of Bobby this season. She's probably out, like, swerving that golf cart around.

which is the quote that Karen Huger said. The video all came out of Karen Huger. We don't have, there's not a crappy hour until the new year. So we probably should, well, the big news is that Karen Huger is found guilty for DUI and all the video footage, all the footage of her in the patrol car and at the police station has now hit the internet. It's pretty wild. I'm sure we'll talk about it.

And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max. From True Detective, The Last of Us, Succession, there's really so much that I would want to watch while I have my DoorDash deliver me stuff.

Do you have a tissue? He's like, no, ma'am, I don't have a tissue. Every like two minutes, she has like two lines that she keeps coming back to, which is, oh, I'm very rich. I'm very rich. Do you have a tissue? Do you have a tissue? Ma'am, we do not have tissues in the patrol car.

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Like, before it gets good again. This is the M&M's. This is the getting M&M's in Act 2. Intermission. But honestly, okay, I'm not going to keep doing this disclaimer about like, I think Raquel seems like a cool person. She's awesome. Like I like her personality. Please know going forward, any criticism of Raquel has that couch in it. I'm just sort of sick of doing that disclaimer.

I don't even know why I feel like I have to do it anymore. But that being said, Raquel's kind of a dud as a housewife, if you ask me. She's nice. She has shared some very emotional moments that I have enjoyed. But, like, for her to come on here and be like, oh, I'm excited to see this side of Rebecca. Maybe she just needed a little vacay. They're all like, finally, Rebecca.

You're not being boring. I'm like, have you guys held a mirror up to your faces and seen what's happened on this season? Rebecca, to me, has been one of the most interesting parts of this season. And you guys are all sitting here doing pranks and being boring as fuck. So stop coming down on Rebecca.

When you guys are the ones who need to be doing the heavy lifting because you guys are the full-fledged housewives.

I just, they're coming down on Rebecca. They're coming down on Rebecca for not being interesting. But like, what are you guys doing? I mean, I think some of them are trying. I think actually Psy, I cannot believe that Psy is on the upper echelon of this cast now. Because I do think that she is trying to make an effort. Erin drives me nuts. She is making an effort though.

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But she's direct. She's direct. It's so weird to me. People say online that one of the problems with this show is that the cast is not very authentic. And I think that, unfortunately, they are authentic. And I'm like, I don't know why it's just not really working.

It's just the cast does not have a chemistry. And on top of that, production does not have a good vision for the show and they are not creating a good narrative for us to follow.

yeah if you want to hear us about this show for an hour literally stay here because that's what we're going to do and if you don't i totally understand but don't expect anything different because i'm not giving it to you okay i mean we still try to have fun with it we still try to find the comedy and things and like you know we still poke fun but it's just it's so hard like you just want in terms it's hard to watch

bravo put this shit up on the air and it's just like just just make it better just find tweet do something do something anyway it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial

From memoirs and sci-fi to mysteries and thrillers, Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment.

And Percival Everett's brilliantly subversive James.

I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.

I have credit.

That's major.

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Should we do headlines? Well, the great headlines into our rony recap to make it more spicy.

She says, she says, I mean, for whatever reason, my hair, it's down there. It's just like straight. It's like, it's like Jessel's hair. And Jessel's like, so basically I have Jenna Lyons' pubes on my head.

Guys, we are such a funny group. I think we've proven to America that we earned our spot.

So they go back to the house, and it's cold. They're so cold. I'm cold. No, I'm cold. No, I am cold like a basic bitch. So they're cold, and they're going to all get into bed, and then they're just talking about how cold it is because it's cold.

hello and welcome to watch where crap ends a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben mandelker joining me today the one and only ronnie carom hi ronnie how are you oh hello ben i'm great how are you i'm fantastic very excited today we are recapping real housewives of new york uh but more excitingly which is literally anything in the world

Uber's like, oh, dude, I am not feeling good because of that fucking cheese.

And Uber's like, oh, can I have my room back?

It's Keurig.

Yeah, she says there's different levels of homophobia. Like, oh, I love gay people. They're everywhere. But when it's your daughter, it's like a little different. So she hasn't met... Her mom hasn't met Mel in years. They met years ago. And she hasn't seen the kids. And, you know, it's basically because of this, you know, Raquel's kids don't really have a grandmother, you know.

And she says, one of the most hurtful parts is that my children have been robbed of a grandmother. And they feel it. They feel the absence. And... It's very difficult. And then Sai tells us that she will never not speak to her children. She would never allow it.

And, you know, but like there's a lot of like old school Latinas who have a hard time admitting their faults and they sweep things under the rug.

Yeah. So then she's like, well, I was speaking on the phone to my mother and she was explaining she's got these heart palpitations that she's been getting and she thought she was having a heart attack. And I asked her before and she was like, I said, is it anxiety? And she goes, I don't know. And, you know, normally she said, no, it's not. But this time she said, I don't know.

And I just feel like it's scary. And like, children, we're just more open in our generation. And, you know, I understand why she has heart palpitations because, you know, the killing of the Russian general sends a message, but it doesn't change the war. Sorry, scrolling. Scrolling, Ronnie. Scrolling.

We just got our links. We just got our links for Texas, our Texas shows and our Charlotte shows. So as soon as we're done doing this recap, I'm going to. Copy and paste them and put them on our website so you can get your tickets to go see these shows. Here is the update. This is the schedule, okay? There's going to be an artist presale on Thursday, December 19th. That's gonna be at 10 a.m.

Again, this speaks to the poor direction of this show. I think they're giving us these scenes to give texture to these women and subtext and texture and make us understand and see them as three-dimensional people. I get all that. But also, it's just like...

I feel like the big mistake with this reboot is that Bravo is trying to make these people our best friends and make us want to bond with them and want to hang out with them and want to aspire to be them. And that is just not what the real Housewives is all about. And in fact,

The goofier and sillier and campier these women are, that's usually when we actually feel bonded to them and want to hang out with them. We all want to hang out with, like, Luann and Sonya. Well, maybe not Sonya. Maybe too much of a mess. Dorinda. Like, heck, if someone said they want to hang out with Kyle Richards, I would get it.

But, like, we want to hang out with them because we've been in the trenches with them in the silliness of the show, not because we can sit there and bond over the sadness in our lives.

And Rebecca's like, but last night, did you not think that we had it out? Did you not see how much I was squinting? It was just like a machine gun of squints. Like I was like Rambo. I was like squint Rambo. Was that not enough for you? She's like, no. She's like, really? Squimbo. That was a squimbo.

And Rebecca's like, she's like, I mean, it's like, Jenna says, no, I just, it just doesn't seem like you were having it out. She goes, oh, well, it's just, it's how you deal with a child when they're having a tantrum. Just squint at them. It works every single time.

local. And you can use a code that we will have on Patreon. And then it goes on sale for everyone. The tickets, this is for Charlotte. On Friday at 10 a.m., Friday, December 20th. And same deal with Austin, same deal with Dallas. So the key dates here is get your first dibs on tickets Thursday, December 19th. And then public on sale on Friday.

And Rebecca's like, I mean, I think you can't throw stones if you like. And Jenna goes, if you live in a glass house. Oh my God, thank you. I didn't know where I was going with that sentence. Jessel's like,

well i think she has a lot to get through i mean if she's gonna do this baby with gideon i mean and rebecca's like really it's like yeah and then jenna's like yeah i know i just i didn't realize they were doing it together i mean but it's awesome it's cool that they're gonna try to do that yeah and uh they're all talking about wow gideon's so great and oh it's not hypocritical at all that brent

If ever I need a good piece of fish, a good piece of meat, I am going to Whole Foods. It is without question the best place for me to find those sort of things.

And I say this as someone who made quite a mess in her virginity bed, which I still have. Literally just squirted. Squirted all over that virginity bed. Rebecca's like, I think in just in a situation where it's just like her and I, we can like sort of come to like, oh, let's all get along and let's just like be nice.

And I can just remind her that I have succeeded in every way that she has failed in life. And I think that'll be okay.

Mom seems fine, but we know it's not. We know it's like she's on camera, she's on best behavior, but the mom seems fine to us. I'm not going to discount Raquel on this one, though, but it's just funny.

One of the classic tropes on Bravo is that someone will just talk for episodes about how awful their mom is, and then their mom comes onto TV, and they're like, hi, honey, how's it going?

um so she introduces her mom to everyone and um hugging and Brynn empathizes because she hasn't spoken to her biological mom in 15 years so she you know she she imagines how special this is they talk about bacalao which I've never had but now I actually really want to try it because it sounded delicious all I heard was like salt fish and I love a salty fish so Yeah, no, I give me some bacalao.

Find me some bacalao, people. And then Rebecca is, I think Rebecca was like.

And, of course, Jenna leaves out Jessel. She's like, where's my smoochy smooch on the lips? Like, what the heck? I literally look like a vagina. Wouldn't you want to put a mouth in me? And then the producer's like, by the way, Jessel, have you ever dipped your toe in the lady pond? She's like, no, I never did that. So maybe I'll do that when I'm 56 and bored of Parvitt.

The links, I'm putting them up as soon as we're done here. Really excited. Also, help us out with the crappies. We are formulating the ballot. But by this point, the story asking for suggestions is going to probably be gone. But we will get a post up on Instagram and leave comments with your favorite moments of the year, your favorite fights.

And then a genuine funny moment happens and Jessel's like, so when was the last time you guys saw each other? And Raquel's like, about six years ago. And Marianne's like, yeah, it was a few months after Maria. So she came down to help me out. And Jessel's like, and Maria is your daughter. Hurricane Maria. More of this, please.

That's not how hurricanes work, Jessel. Are you sure? Are we talking about lanterns? No, actual hurricanes. So she's like, what? I mean, in all fairness, that hurricane happened when? Like 2019, 2018? I thought Maria was his sister or something. I don't fucking know.

What's the deal with Bridgerton anyway? I mean, there's no bridges and nothing weighs a ton. Might as well call it land a few pounds. Sidewalk life. Sidewalk. Hey. Have you ever seen a show called Sidewalk Light? I have. It's actually what Bridgerton's really called. Sidewalk Pound. Hey, I guess it's British, though, so it would be Sidewalk Graham. Street Level Lounge.

Yeah, it was terrible. There was not, there's just like, there's no, the streetlights were out for like a year. They didn't like, water would come in, water would come out. You know, Jess was like, I'm sorry, are we still talking about your boring cousin Maria? But Maria should pay her electricity then. I'm just saying. It's not that difficult. Just like stop at the stop signs and drive forward.

Why do you need electricity, Maria?

Done. Is that for Maria? Listen, don't take it personally, Raquel. Once you get to a certain age, you do not understand how to use Apple products. That's just how it is.

So, you know, Apple TV, if they call me, it's like, I have a quick question. Apple TV is not working. She'll never call me, though.

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So, Uba goes to hang out with Sai, and Uba was saying that she was afraid that there was going to be a lot of tears. And Sai was saying, like, no, no, no. She's like my mom. You know, like, they just ignore everything. Some mothers are just very tough. And she's like, mine, if she did something wrong, she'd just pick up exactly where she left off. Like, we don't even talk about it.

You know, I think she just has the same sort of mom as me. Puerto Ricans, especially back in the day, they just were...

Yeah. And now we're in old San Juan. And Uba has chosen to wear a kitten heel with a spike, which is scandalizing people, especially Jessel, because Jessel's like, how do you even walk like that? And Brynn is... Rebecca goes up. Rebecca tells Brynn, like, hey, by the way, at some point, I'd like to talk to you. I will not even squint. It'll be full-eyed. And I hope you will accept this.

Let's scroll because it's like basically the group splits up into content creators who just like to take photos of themselves and non-content creators. And then it just goes and goes and goes.

i would love that so then um uh bren so they're shopping and bren is with jenna uh wait who is she with no she's just talking and they're in a store with cocktails and aaron says oh my kids are facetiming me it's like oh my god let's answer so aaron's daughter layla is on the phone and she's crying and she's like

And Aaron's like, oh, I'm sorry. Do you want to go home?

Come on, show. Jenna was like trying to talk shit or whatever. I don't know what it was, but like it was awkward. And then she immediately is like taking it back because she's like giggling. And Aaron's like, oh, yeah. Do you want to see his dick? And so then she pulls out a picture of Abe's dick. And they're like, oh, wow. They're like, okay. And Brynn's like,

For the record, I did not solicit this. I did not, which I will give Brynn credit for that. So they're looking at it and they're like, oh, this is great.

and now they talk about the penis for a while uh now are you offended by this penis what do you think offended well i think it's like a little weird just to like show like a private like dick pic or whatever the the analog would be for for like a woman i guess like i think a nude pic in general of like

the person you're with just to show it to other people on tv too i don't know i mean but that could just be their relationship i mean if if they're cool with it then i don't care but like i don't think i would yeah i think it just depends on the reaction of the person you know what i mean like if if he's upset by it then i guess he would have something to stand by he would have a leg to stand on for a third leg to stand on apparently

I just am like, I wouldn't do it, but if their relationship, if that's like within the parameters of their relationship, then I don't really care. So now they all go to lunch and they're all sitting around and they're all talking and Jenna is like, she's like, ooh, Uber, can I touch your boobs? And she's like, no, squeeze them. Don't do it like a basic bitch. They're the best.

My ass feels the same and I don't even work out. This is a non-basic bitch ass.

So Rebecca's just talking about how she got this pic that Aaron showed it. And Rebecca's like, what, you got something Aaron dropped to you?

So they talk about the dick and they're saying it was a great dick, great dick pic, et cetera.

And Rebecca's like, it leads me to imagine like, was it hard? Was it soft? And Raquel's like, I don't want to see Abe's dick. Even when I was straight, I wouldn't want to see someone else's dick. By the way, this is the other sign that when a show doesn't have any content, they ask like everyone to weigh in on some stupid shit like this. So it's like a carousel of people talking about Abe's dick.

So then Uba says, Uba's like, no, not into this or whatever.

They're like any JPEG. So it was like, actually, I have to say, I don't want it. I don't want to see it. Whatever. I wouldn't want it. And Raquel's like, she's like, oh, that's weird. Like, I don't want to see his dick. And it was like, I absolutely don't want it. I respect Abe too much. And she just basically winds up saying, and Aaron's like, well, am I being disrespectful by showing it?

now I'm going to feel bad about this. And she was like, I would be dumb if I show out of his dick, literally like I would never do that. You know, I, for me personally. So I think Uber's just saying where she stands on it. And then Aaron of course is like, Oh, It's very hard for me to decipher what's going to trigger Uba's intense reaction.

And I don't know why my personal situation with my husband and what I've shown has made her so upset. She's not so upset. She's just saying, no, I wouldn't do that. If I did that with Oliver, that would be stupid because she's basically saying Oliver wouldn't like it. She's not like, oh my God.

But this is such an errant thing to do is to paint Uba like she's having this big, intense, triggered reaction when Uba's just saying what everyone else is saying. Like, no, this would not be for me.

This is a live podcast. Um, last week, last week, I started the episode with a bold proclamation that I really enjoyed last week's episode of Real Housewives of New York. And I am proud to announce that the streak continues as in the streak of boring episodes. And it resumed this week. Back to hating it. What, I mean, what are they doing to us?

Because I'll do it. Si then looks at Jessel's feet and she's like, oh my God, look at Jessel's feet.

And look at Brynn trying to agitate people again.

them happy they didn't no they were just like it feels sort of like a violation of his privacy a little bit and brynn is like and uber was about to go crazy you guys for so much talk about gaslighting on this show like there's a like i don't know whether or not this is the correct definition this seems to be the colloquial definition the informal definition you guys are really gaslighting uber right here she just thought it was tacky and you guys are making it seem like she was having this giant loud violent reaction

Tequila bottle in Aaron's mouth. Oh, there's a body shot and everything.

And then Brynn gives kind of like a template apology. It was actually a good apology because she kind of hit all the right notes, but it was actually funny to me because it was, it almost felt like she'd gone to HR and they said, here's how you should apologize to someone. She's like, I'm sorry for ripping your head off. That's not cool. And it's not okay.

Even if I'm going through stuff, it's never okay to have that reaction. Thank you for being the better person and apologizing and initiating this conversation. But I should be the first to apologize because it wasn't right. My reaction was a reflection of me and my insecurity and not having anything to do with you.

I love how she's like surprised that Gideon's not into it. Like anyone who watched that episode where she was like, so I was thinking like maybe you can have a baby with me. And he just stares at her and blinks and gives her like a polite British smile. It's like. I would love that. I would love absolutely nothing more. He's like, oh, wow.

Hey, Bryn, it's like she's in her own TV show called Bryngerton. This is totally Bryngerton material. You ever hear about Bryngerton? It's like Bridgerton, but it's with Bryn and a British guy.

um okay so now where are we so they kind of bond and Rebecca's like says that her attention was never to hurt her it was just it was a it was a culmination of like the first time they met like Brynn was just poking and poking and poking and being an asshole so we see flashbacks to that and Rebecca's like I just was like that frustration like I should have just nipped it in the bud the first time and I just feel like why is she coming for me like that like I barely know you and I'm

Love to get to know you better. That's a lie. I don't, I actually have like very successful friends that I'm friends with instead, but like, I just don't want to have conflict with you because you're just not important enough to have conflict with. So it's just like annoying that I have to have it. You know what I'm saying? Right.

But she accepts the apology, and they hug it out, and they're going to move forward and everything. And, you know, Rebecca's like, yay. They're going to get mani-pedis and everything. And Brynn's like, maybe I'll have to go shopping. Maybe I'll go to Nordstrom Rack. So then they just say they're going to just start over. Start over. Start over. Yay. Everything is great. A new line in the sand.

Three hours later, finally, the show gets a policy. And it looks like there's going to be a big tussle next week. There's Jessel drama, Aaron drama, Uba drama.

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Just take it away. This whole episode should have been like a seven minute segment as part of like, you know, like whatever's coming up next week. But like, this is the age old thing when they have, if the episode order is too long, they've got to stretch out the content. And then we as the audience are the one that actually suffers.

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yeah it's just sad because ronnie was a jewel in the crown and now it's a scroll show but you know what it is what it is and hopefully we will move onwards and upwards so we are still in puerto rico we're at dinner and uh rebecca has just told brin that um she's a bully basically you've been a bully ever since i met you like i am literally having diarrhea because of how much you're bullying me and brin's like

Strong line of judge. No, the moment I saw her squinty, her squinty eye, I was like, oh, I love her. I love her because there was so much judgment. Like if you can have so much judgment without even saying words, it's like an automatic win in my book. And like you said, it's like we've been like, like she's been soaking it all in.

And finally the lasers came out of the squints and she's like, oh, Brian, you're a bully.

But also, I was like, you know, so, you know, I'll get into this in a second. I'm going to hold my point for a moment. But the point is that Rebecca basically, like, has Brynn, and Brynn is like, you know what?

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Mm-hmm. Then let me tell you something. This is coming from two queens here who cannot stand when people are like talking about like, well, as a mother, as a mother, it's like our least favorite thing. And we don't like it when people say like, I don't like it when people are like, are you going to have a baby? You're going to have a baby. I'm like, I'm not going to have a baby.

I'm not going to have a baby. Okay. So I get all that.

Would I still say that Rebecca Minkoff has children crawling all over her bed and she just wants some peace and quiet. And I can concede that I can concede that.

Now, I do think there are parents that use the parent card to get shit. Be like, I just have kids. You don't understand. And I'm like, you're using the parent card. I don't like that. But I just think in this case, I'm allowing the parent card because Brynn has been obnoxious. And she was obnoxious about this whole room thing. And she forced Rebecca to room, just assigned her a roommate situation.

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And then she's like, why are you annoyed? And Rebecca's finally like, because I'm a kid. parent and i wanted to have some sleep because i've got four kids crawling on me and i guess what i just had to design a handbag that looks like elfaba's crotch for this damn tv show so i'm tired i am tired

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I will tell you, this show does remind me of Wicked, mainly the part where the poppies opened up and everyone fell asleep. So Rebecca is like, you took that, like, way too seriously.

And Brynn's saying this because the expected response is Rebecca saying, and I don't want to fight with you two. I actually really like you. But instead, Rebecca goes, well, then you can stop.

The house in Newport Beach that has a dent in it gets to say time to move on.

Yeah, I have two separate rants that I would like to intertwine if I can, possibly. Number one, act one. Act one. Act one is Bryn, you can't be coaching Rebecca on camera saying, come on, you got to give it back a little bit. Spice it up. You can't be talking about all this time. Oh, you're doing the prank. You're going to lean into it because you want to spice it up.

And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max. From True Detective, The Last of Us, Succession, there's really so much that I would want to watch while I have my DoorDash deliver me stuff.

You want to lean into the housewife stuff. You're all about this. And yet now we finally have a fight that like, I personally am invested in and I think is a good one and could be entertaining. And then you just are going to be like, okay, well we should just move on. No, we sat through a boring season. Let us have a full, a full fleshed out fight.

You don't get to do that defying gravity and close act one, act two. Okay. Raquel, Raquel, I'm going to come for you a little bit here too. Okay. I, I mean, this is the last time we have to do this disclaimer. No, not Raquel. What'd Raquel do? This is a minor one. This really should have been Act 1. But, like, Raquel, here's the thing. This should have been the overture. This is the Act 2 lull.

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please accept this apology for my lack of respect at the carolina code so sure okay that's a good first line and then he goes and then he starts like saying my intent was meant my intent oh god a tent was meant meant intent oh god it doesn't make sense what am i right i'm like just right Dear Miss Patricia, I am terribly sorry that I offended you. You know, what I did was totally disrespectful.

It was an attempt to welcome you in on a joke, but I think it went way wrong and it was not worth it in the end. And any joke that you have to explain is not a good joke. And please accept my humblest apologies.

Inclusion is solidarity. That is not what you say. It makes no sense.

And it's all scrunched up at the bottom, too, by the way, because the first two lines were written in gigantic handwriting. And then he had to squeeze in the with warm regards the bottom. It was just so childlike.

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Yeah, so they order food and Austin comes over and he's like, hey, by the way, what's your name, waitress? And she's like, Madison.

He goes, that's insane right now.

Your name is Madison also. He laughs. When he laughs, the mouth, the full mouth is open and he puts the tongue right in the middle.

It was just like, he's doing extra work.

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I actually am really excited to hear George Orwell's 1984 again because last time I read that was back in, I don't know, middle school or something like that. And the world has changed so much with technology and everything like that. I feel like now is the perfect time to revisit and listen to it on Audible.

That's major.

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So, um, so Austin's like, you know, there used to be a time where like the name like triggered me, like, you know, and that was just like no way to live. But like, sometimes I think about like, I think about like the joy and the peace that, uh, that Audrey brings me, which I've never had before.

And then just... It was an exasperated Madison montage. It was our favorite.

so then we didn't make any sense then we go back to lunch and austin's like he's like so what's going on dude like what's wrong with you and sienna oh gosh i really like her she's got this amazing you know war about her and we see pics i know then we see pics of them all together and they're you know their food arrives and everything and she and he's like but i i do think about the future with her a hundred percent i think about

How many times I could yell at her over backyard games. Oh my God, it'll be great.

I think you're seeing the glow of someone who's gorgeous, who could be modeling for Banana Republic, who's actually decided to like actually look your way. And has not been disgusted by you yet. That's the glow you're seeing.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker. Joining me, Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie, how are you?

And, and they're also doing this, like, like having this faux moment of having any sort of perspective on life. Cause Austin's like, yeah. Like, especially like if you have to like a string of those, like wonderful girls, like you just like wake up feeling emptier than fucking ever, man. I'm like, well, if they're so wonderful, why do you have a string of them?

Then why don't you just like end with your wonderful one? So Shep is like,

Yeah, that's what we were missing in our friendship before.

We were too scared to be vulnerable. So these two num nuts are going through the paces of pop psychology to explain away why they've been fuckboys. They just weren't vulnerable before, but now they are vulnerable, which means that they've just so happened to found two gorgeous negative 22-year-olds who... is now the culmination of their personal development.

You fucking... Give me a break, bro. Sir, you are the one who's invulnerable. You're the one who's mocking Craig for his saying, etc. I mean, like, say what you will about Craig. I do think Craig is pretty vulnerable. I mean, he's a complete liar, but he's vulnerable, you know, to Nigerian email scams.

You don't think Craig's vulnerable? I think it takes some vulnerability to say, to go on to a show that's like very old school and say like, I want to sew for the rest of my life. I think that's like, because he got mocked relentlessly for it. And then, you know, now he's showing everyone, you know, now he's making money off of it. But

I'm good. I'm on the threshold of a sneeze. And I'm like, is it going to happen?

It's not going to happen.

It got shot. Sneeze. So everyone, sneeze. We are so excited. We are approaching our Christmas break. It's our holiday break, actually, because Hanukkah is also going to happen during this week. So we're really excited about that. Today, we are recapping Southern Charm, which is very fun, very entertaining, and

Um, I, just because Craig does not share his personal life with two toxic twits who will use any shred against him to bring him down because there are two crabs with crabs in a bucket does not mean that he's invulnerable. It just means he's selective and he's smart about who he shares with.

Oh, he goes running quacks a lot?

No, that's Howard the Duck.

Yeah, it's just, it's very distracting. It's just like a lot of circles and pointy things coming at you. So Shep is like, I just feel like he's trying to curate an image like he's starring in his own commercial. You know what I mean? I'm like, yeah, he literally is doing that. That's like what we saw.

The season opens with him, like flashbacks of him holding pillows because he's literally shooting a commercial. He's starring in his own commercial because he has a business that he needs a commercial for.

And the big exciting thing is that all of our tickets are now on sale for Vegas and Texas shows and Charlotte, as well as all of our other shows. So those you can get at watchacrappins.com. Really excited. Come see us at all of our shows, especially the crappies on February 1st. I mean, we have, I think, I think like three quarters of the theaters already sold out. So yeah.

nothing have you done anything go to a community college learn to do something like make an effort like leave craig alone for christ's sake yeah this this argument is such a funny argument to me they're like god look at craig it's like he's trying to curate this image of himself we all know what he's really like because remember when he used to do adderall up to like his eyeballs it's like yeah this is someone who's like oh

I'm doing too much Adderall. I got to turn things around. They're like, why would you turn things around? Gosh.

Gosh. Gosh. And Austin's like, tells us, the thing about Craig is he has worn so many hats. Meanwhile, Austin, by the way, has fallen into some sort of tanning bed, because he looks, I don't know what's going on with his skin, but it's like he's turned into a big patch of leather. So he's like, he's worn so many hats.

He used to run around the King Street and drink so many Jager Bombs and vodka Red Bulls, and then he's like, oh, I want to be a lawyer, okay? And then he's trying to be like, oh, I'm Martha Stewart. It's like, at least he had a hat to wear. We're still trying to find some felt so we can patch something on top of your Tucker Carlson hair.

No, to be fair, Craig is definitely leaning into this like, look at me. I'm sweet, nice Craig. I love Christmas. I love pillows. I love candlesticks. I love curtains. I love candlesticks. I love curtains. I love... Craig, Craig, stop it.

Stop, stop. It's over. The TikTok's over, Craig. Okay. Love you, chicken. Love you too, Craig. I love candlesticks. Craig.

Yeah, he's like, you know, Martha Stewart is like best friends with Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart's been to fucking jail. Martha Stewart's cool as shit. Craig just wants to sell spatulas with like a nutcracker on them. I'm like, it's better than whatever the hell Trap Hop is these days.

If ever I need a good piece of fish, a good piece of meat, I am going to Whole Foods. It is without question the best place for me to find those sort of things.

You don't wait too much longer. And then and we're really excited for our first Vegas show. And we're hoping to have two more cities to add to the tour. But that won't be until the new year because, you know, everyone's going everyone's shutting down next week. So in the meantime, they're shutting down already.

Well, first of all, it's probably 10 times cheaper in Charleston. Second of all, that's pretty much it.

Okay. Paige looks absolutely thrilled to be sitting there. She's like, wow, this is great. I spend my weekends in a remote house in eastern Long Island sitting by a pool while an idiot wanders around. And now I come down here to sit by a pool in a remote location while an idiot wanders around a pool. Thanks.

Not like I need to do things like go shopping or be around civilization. Thanks, Greg. Thanks. I enjoy it back here.

Craig, oh, my gosh. Look at me, Paige. Paige, look at this.

Yeah, they were in the same outfit and Paige is just so happy that there's someone that's not Craig to talk to. She's like, oh my God, thank God you're here. I was losing my mind. Do you know how many questions I've had to answer about skimming pools?

So what's the pass?

Also, I am like forever like charmed by how Craig loves to see if Paige is happy about something. So like when Madison walks in, he immediately pivots around and looks at Paige with a big smile being like, I bet she's smiling. He's like... And he's like, he's like, oh my God, she's smiling all the time.

So then he pulls out a pasta salad out of nowhere. By the way, that was like food network. She was like, Craig, you can bring out the pasta salad. He's like, okay. And he like reaches down and a pasta salad just like materializes. I was like, what? Where'd that come from?

That's insane. I mean, hey, he's a troll for God's sake. Look at him.

And Paige is like, I mean, you're like someone's mom, like their hot mom with great taste in fashion. Yeah.

And wife. Well, you know, he was a friend of mine for a minute, but him talking about my marriage, that feels like a tossing of the corn. It's a slap in the face. I'm going to have it.

Like, who gave him the audacity to say anything about anyone?

I mean, admittedly, that's what I do all the time at my show. But I also, like, am cute, and he's like a troll.

And so Madison's like, yeah, well, wrong person, my friend. Okay, haven't you been around this group? You know, like, don't come knocking at my door. Like, literally, don't come knocking at my door. Otherwise, I'm going to have my husband beat you in the face.

She's like, well, you know, I could, you know, he's got thyroid cancer.

Craig apparently already knew, but I guess he had forgotten to tell Paige. He goes, remember chicken? He had cancer, which is such a strange sentence to say. Remember chicken?

You know what I mean? It's like, babe, these trees keep like putting leaves in the pool and I'm just like skimming and skimming and skimming. That's great, Craig. And skimming and Brett has cancer. And I'm just like, oh my God, so many leaves in the pool. That's great, Craig. He just inserts it in.

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Um, cause she just didn't want all that outside, outside noise, but he's okay now. And he's gonna be taking medication for the rest of his life. And he's in remission. And it's just been like a shitty couple of months.

And so Madison says, that's why with JT, after hearing what he's saying about us was like, I was like, I don't want to associate with my guy. This is like, it's like succotash. It's like an affront to corn. Yeah. Last thing I know, he's some weasel in the middle of it all. Like, this is real life shit. I'm going through real life shit.

Honestly, it was that one. That was hard. It's hard to think. Am I losing my looks? Does he think I'm down at his level now? So...

disgusting yeah JT's in a bad place because he you know the old phrase the opposite of love is not hate it's indifference and I feel like everyone seems kind of just like a little indifferent and like ugh whatever he's like they're like dismissing him they're not like I hate JT I mean even though she just said it you get the sense like they have closed the gates on JT it's not like there's feuds they've just basically said yeah you've you tried to come on to our show you messed it up so we're gonna you can go now

You can't come back from that. You can't come back.

Yeah, because I was actually, by the end of the episode, I was kind of feeling sorry for him. I was like, damn. Because Greg really fucked his shit up, right? Because, like, this stuff with Madison is so stupid. Like, he shouldn't have even, like, he's ridiculous for even thinking it. But Craig going around saying that JT called Patricia a bitch,

Like that's like character assassination right there. And he's not going to be able to come back from that ever. Like the well has been poisoned, if that's a phrase.

There won't be a Potomac recap on Monday because this is where we can recap our episode today. And we can take Monday off. So we're doing that summer house thing. But of course, the big news with Potomac is Karen Huger. So I think when you were talking about people driving all over the road, I'm like, are you sure you just weren't near Karen Huger?

Tyler and I have been together for nine years, and we've been asked about a million times if we're going to have children, mainly from Patricia. I think her exact words are, well, we know Whitney ain't dropping any sperm anytime soon, so what about you two gays? And I said, listen, no, just dogs.

Tyler and I, I think we're really happy with just adopting senior dogs. That's where we shine. But we see an adorable picture. Oh, yeah. Here's an adorable picture of Bella and Bo. They require not as much attention as children. So, I mean, we're good. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Doggy pardon. We're really into senior dogs.

I haven't heard that either. I'm wondering, though. My first thought was that they're saying they're into old dogs. But then I'm wondering, because they say in a little bit about how they're a dog. Basically, they adopted it from an elderly lady who couldn't take care of her dog anymore. So maybe they adopt dogs from seniors? Oh, that's cute. I don't know.

My first thought was, though, like an old dog with a cane. Or it could be like dogs that are about to graduate high school.

Maybe I, maybe I, maybe senior dogs would be more my speed.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it sounds great. Now, what if they mean senior dogs like these are dogs that are going off to college as their senior year and all they want to do is party and go to the prom. These are prom ready dogs. I don't want those dogs.

I know. You know, I would get the dog that'd be like wear a little beret that's like, I just got into NYU. Yeah, I'm going to Tisch. I'm like, you're not your dog. Yeah.

JT has really bungled his season so far. That's undeniable. But Rodrigo deciding to ban JT from the stupid party because of a conversation he had with Austin. I just feel like you should never use Austin as your primary evidence or reasoning as why to not invite someone. Now, I'm assuming Austin told him that JT called Miss Patricia a bitch and no one wants to get onto Patricia's bad side, right?

But I still am like, I'm like...

That's also where Randy gets his lunches.

When it's time for him to have his dinner, I said, put your mouth up against the mail slot and we just pour frozen peas down it.

I need more help. All right, I'm going to read this. Let me put it on my readers. Okay. All right. So, dear Miss Patricia, please accept this apology for the lack of respect at the Carolina Cup. Carolina Cup. My intent was meant as a sign of inclusion and solidarity. Inclusion, because you know the word inclusion is like a curse word in the South, okay? Okay.

And speaking of that, also, this is I swear this is not just a candid ploy to make you guys follow us on social media, although, you know, feel free to. But speaking of the crappies, we mentioned it all week, but just now our first story, our first thing is up. We are we want your input about story moments of the year, TV moments of the year. So anything on Bravo, Traders, also Love Island USA.

I'm pretty sure last season, Patricia's storyline was that she was stuck in bed with a back injury. But either way, it was rude. It was definitely a rude and terrible joke on JT's part. So Patricia's like, now, you know, she finishes reading the letter, which says, admittedly, I most certainly missed the mark, and I apologize for that. With warm regards, JT.

And then she just gives a look to Whitney like,

So Whitney is like, I don't think JT is the kind of person who would call a woman a bitch. And throughout the years, Craig has had a tenuous relationship with reality and the truth.

when he's like it comes back and when he's like she really has a lot of expressions uh i remember recapping that episode we were dying laughing through that whole thing just based on her licks alone so funny yeah she was amazing so whitney is like oh this letter is clearly heartfelt so i'll give him the benefit of the doubt i mean i don't know i've got bigger things to think about like why i put so much fasting on my face for this interview but whatever

So now we go over to Shep's house and Sienna's there and they are coming home. They've got some coffee and croissants, which sounds great. And Shep was like, would you like to talk about your sleep or lack thereof? Let me guess, you stayed up late watching the riveting documentary, The Vietnam War by Ken Burns. She's like, no, it's because Craig was farting in my face all night.

We want your TV moments of the year. So write it on a comment on the post that is up on our Instagram. And there'll be further posts going up over the course of the week. We really just need you guys to help us jog our memories. So that way, when we start making the initial ballot, it'll be easier for us and we don't leave anything out.

He's so invulnerable.

No, you're a dog, Craig.

Oh, oh, yeah.

and it's not just because she's gorgeous but she just has an energy and a spirit and a joy which i'm super drawn to and she lives in the bahamas and every time we have a weekend together i'm just like wow oh god i just don't feel like this way very often i'm a little boy who's happy so he's like i want to come down there you know for a little while she goes okay that would be fun and you're like maybe a month and she's like uh

That's what it's called. So Shep is like, well, enough about us. Let's start with Rod and Tyler's dog party.

Okay, so you're going to meet everyone, including my ex, Taylor.

And it's fine, I think. I don't know if she'll have a boyfriend with her, but if she does, even better. And she's like, whatever. I don't really care that much. Oh, it's so profound. And Sienna's like, c'est la vie. Mother, stop speaking French.

So now we, uh, Molly and Sally go for a walk around that one square pond that they sometimes walk around on this show. Cause they've got nothing else to do. So, um, Molly and Sally are walking and you know, I'm talking about, dude, that's like, I feel like Olivia and Taylor walked around it last season. Everyone goes there. It's the pond. It's the pond that everyone likes walking around.

Yeah. Yeah. So Molly's talking about how she met Sally working at Republic. So I'm sure if we go back in our Southern Hospitality recaps, we probably saw Molly and we're like, look at that girl. She looks so bored. So she's saying that they were both front door VIP.

And oddly enough, they didn't show any footage of Sally being front door because that was a whole thing on last season on Southern Hospitality. They didn't cross purpose, but. whatever.

Yeah. Or it's how you just wrap a girl named Polly. He gets mad. Yeah. So, Molly.

Yeah. But now we're talking about Molly, not Polly. And Molly is talking about Sally. And Molly has this to say about Sally, which is that Sally, for her day job, she teaches searches how to use surgical robots, which is pretty cool.

And Sally's like, did you smack him? I would have smacked him when he said that. She's like, no, because I would have eaten three right in front of him. Molly's like, well, honestly, I feel like I stopped eating after he said that. And I was like, nah, I don't want to eat that cupcake. And Sally's like, well, just don't take it to heart. That was stupid.

And Sally's like, yeah, it was like two in the morning and he like wouldn't leave my place.

She's like, I was like, Shep, I'm getting you an Uber. Please get your man stank out of my bed.

Shep, like, I'm sorry, you're just, like, not the kind of guy that I see myself with. I'm not interested in human puddles. So, yeah, you have to go.

And Stella's like, I'm not saying, like, I regret it or anything, but I definitely was not bragging about it. Okay, I've been with Gaston.

And Molly's like, you and Taylor, you know, you guys obviously have a similar taste in men, I guess. And Sally's like, yeah, I just think we could bond over a lot of stuff. I don't know. Like, do I want to see her boyfriend? No, not really. So basically they're setting up that there could be a tense moment at this dog party. And speaking of which, Taylor is getting ready.

We see her getting ready and she's being on a hat. So she FaceTimes Gaston to find out what he's up to. And he's not terribly interested. In fact, he doesn't even go to this party in this episode because he doesn't want to be around that whole group.

He probably doesn't want to be confronted about his own cheating, etc., So Taylor's like, she's trying to like show off like her outfit and everything. And, you know, they're like, okay, cool. And she says to us, Gaston's like a little cutthroat of a human being, which is like a weird thing to say. And by the way, also not an attractive quality.

These are his boundaries. Yeah. He's cutthroat. Yeah. Forgiving spirit. What? I don't know. Forgiving spirit.

Yeah. I think that humans are more like dogs and the dogs are more like humans on this show. So Taylor arrives and people just sort of showing up and saying hi and everything. And Taylor's asking about like, who's coming. And Rodrigo says, Molly's coming in and she has to bring Sally, et cetera. And Taylor just says that was, it was awkward. And she says,

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All I know is that this girl hooked up with Shep, and then after that, she hooked up with Gaston in hopes that he would keep her around, and he didn't. I was like, okay, don't act like you won a prize by getting Gaston, okay?

So then Madison's like, well, I do think it's a bad sign that Gaston, is that his name? Gaston. I don't know.

She's just so awkward. Even at the end of her last scene with Gaston, like, she gets off the phone with Gaston, and then she still keeps looking at her phone, and it goes... Yeah. So, okay. You're not on the phone with anyone, Taylor. Who are you talking to right now? There's just something so awkward and sad about her.

So Sally then talks like there's this, then there's like a sort of a awkwardness with Taylor and Sally at the party. And Sally's like, she tells us, okay, I fuck Shep. Okay, cool. That was your ex. You fuck Gaston. Cool. That was my ex. We're even. We're even.

And would make sense that she watched that show. And then Leva shows up. How dare you?

Rock of Love was not great.

I'm done. It was definitely not. What was the one with what's his face? I can't remember people's names anymore.

That's fair. That's fair. I mean, this is a guy who showed up to this Carolina Cup with canes for everyone. And it's like he's just like he is over the top. JT is constantly trying to have a TV moment, which is his biggest failing. And it drives me nuts because I feel like there was a lot of potential for him. And so, you know, it doesn't drive me nuts.

When a phrase like that is uttered by like a sweater gay, it's really devastating. You know, like there's just a certain level of bombast. We don't act like that. So love is like, well, I just hate anyone feeling excluded. You know, in our friend group, if we were going to be like, we're not going to be friends with someone because they did something wrong, then none of us would be friends.

That's right. Because of Leah CEO. So then Rodrigo, he's basically like, yeah, but he called her a bitch. He called Miss Patricia a bitch and live at love. I was like, I can't even imagine that. Like, I've never even heard him say that word. Like he would always talk when he, when he would talk about Madison, he always talked about brand Madison and their lovely family. He was always respectful.

Also, another thing. So this episode gone to the dogs, you know, Lisa Vanderpump gets credit for being like the dog lady of Bravo. But the truth is, I don't know if there's any show that has more over the top dog events than Southern charm. I mean, we've had weddings, we had birthday parties.

So this is just like really, really wild.

Yeah, kind of.

So Madison's like, I honestly just want to shut this down. I mean, anytime I hear someone that's talking bad about me and my family, the first thing I'm going to do is address it head on. I'm going to go straight to the person and we're cutting off the head of that snake, that beta snake. Okay, if you're an alpha snake, that's one thing, but you're a beta snake. You're just a little garden snake.

Die, beta snake. Die, beta.

It was sweet, though. Little Craig does come bounding over to Taylor to say hi. He's like, my mommy. And then now Madison's talking to Sienna, and she's like, so?

Did you just travel here? Is that what he said?

Are you a beta? Just tell me right now. Are you a beta? Are you an alpha? I need to know if I can hang out with you. Sienna's like, yeah, I just got in last night at 12. Sounds like alpha behavior. Okay, you're approved.

So, yeah, Madison's like, yeah, this is not what I was expecting. She's like way too pretty for Shep. I mean, here's Taylor, dressed like Bret Michaels. And then you have a supermodel walk in and you're like, look at that over there. Yeah.

so chef is like chef is like hey sally i'm happy to see you thank you i'm happy to see that you're friendly with taylor by the way she's like oh yeah i mean yeah but like i hate her boyfriend so oh yeah well you're not alone you're like If you were alone, you could be like home alone. Gosh, sorry. That's like my spirit animal.

I feel like every year there's some sort of like pageant or talent show or like, you know, WWE doggy wrestling moment. Like there's always some sort of crazy dog event on this show at all times.

Cause I'm a little boy in a house alone and robbers are trying to get me. Oh, I'm spiraling. What am I saying? I have to stop. How do I get off this carousel? Right, Sally, help me, Sally.

Let me tell you something. The man of Southern charm. I think we could just say universally bear market. It's a bear market. It's not just Gaston.

Okay.

I don't want to just like go up to her and just be like, hi, nice to meet you. And she turns, goes, hi, nice to meet you. She literally goes, I think that cause Rodrigo was bringing her over, but it was just so funny. She's like, no, I don't want to just like be high. And then she does exactly what she does within a heartbeat.

Taylor's like, oh, that was like, oh, damn, Sienna. And she does have this big smile on her face. And Taylor goes, yeah, mostly, hopefully. I mean, that's when Taylor's supposed to say, well, that's great. I haven't heard anything about you, actually.

So then Austin's like, that's super awkward, but I guess I'll watch. Yeah. So then Sienna's like, so you guys are, oh, and your dogs are matching too. Wow. Okay. That's cool. It's kind of cute. Kind of funny. Raising some red flags for me, but that's okay.

So then we go to JT's apartment where he's there alone and he opens up a package and he's like, so is this a fun device or something cool? A book? No, it's Dustbuster. It's not fun. Excuse me, sir. A Dustbuster is a tremendous amount of fun. And I don't know where you are getting your notions of what is right and wrong, but you are really failing this season.

Yeah, I love every time. I got a Dustbuster, my first ever Dustbuster. I got it about a year and a half ago. I keep it right in my kitchen. And anytime there's like flour on the counter or anything, I just go. And it is just so fun every single time. It's fun every single time. Never gets old.

Oh, because by the way, I guess the dog party's over. I thought this was a cutaway, but it turns out the dog party's over because nothing really happened.

Yeah, new class, too. They're doing a good job of layering in new people in a way that Vanderpump Rules had kind of failed, which is why Vanderpump Rules isn't... What happened to Vanderpump Rules is that they just were never able to get really any good new talent beyond Lala and James and then Brittany.

Those are the only three major new additions, I think, that I can think of over the course of the show. But this show has been really good about layering in new people. Every season, there's sort of a new batch of people that just sort of... You're always like, why are they on this show? But they just sort of force them on us.

Yeah, because they all have dogs. There were so many dogs. I don't think I've ever seen so many dogs on screen on Bravo ever. That includes Lisa's, you know, various dog events where James lost, like, or James was DJing. It was like, did anyone lose their Toyota Camry keys? Hello. So big dog energy here. But before we get into that, we start with small dog energy.

Yeah. And let's have Vanita steam her drapes. Poor Vanita.

I just want to say I was mad. Sorry to interrupt when she called JT and said like, Hey, do you want to, you want to meet me to have some coffee? I was like, and then you're supposed to say the next, the, you were supposed to say why you're going to have coffee. There's a certain thing you're supposed to say on the show. And not once did you say, I was just in the neighborhood.

And he's like, but when you FaceTimed me, I was confused. And she goes, oh, well, JT, the one time that we called you, it was because he was like, well, wait, who was in your room late at night? And I said, it was just a bunch of people that came back to my room. It was never just me and you. And so then he was asking if you were alone with JT.

Yeah. Well, then she clarifies to us and she says that like every night she calls Brett and then one night she didn't call. And so she thinks that maybe Brett was just trying to confirm that it wasn't just me and Austin hanging out drinking red wine and eating McDonald's in the bed. So then Brett...

It's not an opening montage unless we see Vanita doing something around her household while Charles watches. And in today's episode, it's her steaming her curtains and then steaming her pajamas and Charles looking as if like. Can we ever go outside nipples?

Yeah. He's like, I just felt uncomfortable with all those questions, and then everything changed with you. Like, what did I do wrong? I mean, you mean-girled me. And I'm like, why is my friend mean-girling me? She goes, you know what? I think Aston might have been right about you this whole entire time, because you are not a gentleman. You call Patricia a bitch, and you're the bitch.

And he's like, what? What are you talking about? I don't believe I've ever called that woman that word. She goes, well, that's what I've heard, and I believe everything I hear. So JT basically tells us he would never call Patricia a bitch because he doesn't call women bitches because one time when he was little, he's like, you know how little boys like to challenge their moms?

Well, I remember one day I said, can we go to 7-Eleven? I want a Slurpee. And she said, no. And I said, mom, you're a bitch. I mean, I said it right in front of Poppy Seed. I couldn't even believe it. And that was the last time I ever used that word, if you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, and it's also, to be quite frank, I think it's unnatural for Madison to side perpetually with JT over Austin. She is someone who wants to be around an alpha, and I think she does view JT as a beta.

So as much as she can't stand Austin, as much as they've quote-unquote made peace, I think she still hates Austin, but she will still ultimately gravitate towards alpha energy before she, you know, Puts all her eggs in a beta basket.

The beta basket, y'all.

Thank you so much. And we still have plenty of shows next week. So stay tuned.

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I know. And then we have Taylor and Gaston. They're in her backyard. She has leaves everywhere. So he's come over with a leaf blower and he's going to get to work. I felt a little robbed. I felt like there were so many leaves. I was like, I kind of want to see those leaves get blown around. I kind of want to see what happens, you know?

Well, I wanted to see... There were so many leaves. I wanted to see all the leaves go up in the air.

The leaves need to be... I felt like it was very much Chekhov's leaves. I felt like you sort of have said like, here, look at this beautiful snow globe made of leaves. Now we're going to shake it up and that's it. We don't get to see. I was like, I wanted to, I felt, I felt like it was probably so satisfying to blow all those leaves around because I recently got a leaf blower.

Netflix's new series, No Good Deed, follows three families vying to buy a 1920s Spanish-style villa that they think will solve their problems.

Well, you know, that's another reason why we needed to see the conclusion of the scene is because we need to see how well he leaf blows. Because if he's just coming around and just moving the leads from one side to the next, then he's actually not useful at all. Then it's just a prop to earn, to win over people who are just happy that someone's doing a chore.

But like, if he's not doing the chore well, then that's not going to be worthwhile. I mean, Gaston, he has he has made an impression on two different Bravo shows already because obviously his debut off camera was on Southern Hospitality, which is also where we had Sally's debut. And then today is Sally's big episode.

And by the way, I just want to say I really enjoy Sally on Southern Charm way more than on Southern Hospitality. I think this was a good move for her.

No Good Deed, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ray Romano, is now playing only on Netflix. This episode is sponsored by DoorDash.

Like Nana's chicken parmesan. It's Nana's chicken parmesan. Yeah. So there you go. You know what I like to think it was since I recently saw a little movie, a little indie movie called Wicked. I like to think that she showed up on Southern hospitality. And then basically Michelle Yeoh was like, wait a second, you're special.

We're gonna give you, I'm going to teach you privately and put you onto Southern charm. I'm gonna put you on the varsity level show. That's what happened. She wasn't slut shamed. She was just chosen to advance to a better show. Well, actually maybe not better show, a bigger show. So either way, leaf blowing, unsatisfying for me.

Then we go to Molly on the treadmill and she's running and she's like, I sound like a dying pig. And then finally we land at JT's apartment where he takes an insulin shot and then he sits down to write a letter to Patricia. I found this scene so stressful. I was so stressed out by the scene. It was like a combination of things. It was his handwriting. It was like, why are you writing so big?

You have a limited amount of space. Why did you not draft this ahead of time on your laptop and then transcribe it? All your word choices are so bad. Your handwriting is bad. The whole thing made me want to crawl out of my skin.

well i'm gonna blame the first good old-fashioned internet by the way first george bush wow it goes back one way guys it's been a long process it's turned us into morons well i think you could blame the inventor of the internet al gore the inventor of the because it was it's the rise of the laptops and whatnot actually you could probably blame bill gates too because about marijuana how about marijuana

And honestly, there's so much to watch on Max. From True Detective, The Last of Us, Succession, there's really so much that I would want to watch while I have my DoorDash deliver me stuff.

I have to say cursive. Yeah. I have not written in cursive in so long. You know, we spent so much time learning cursive only to discard it. Oh man. But, um, yeah, I don't know who did this, but they're all to blame. Everyone's to blame for this. So he is, he's just writing these things like, Hey, I'm sorry for being an ignorant male. No, no, no. Okay. I'm going to start with all caps.

So he writes deer in all caps. Like, why are you doing that? Why are you screaming deer? He's like, no, no, no, it's offensive. Don't overthink it. Okay.