Ben Owen

so just to give you some context on south memphis uh the infant mortality rate is higher than most or many third world nations um it's one of the deadliest zip codes in the state of tennessee which is one of the deadliest cities in america um statistically young men in south memphis are and this one breaks my heart they're more likely to be dead or incarcerated than they are to have a job or be in school

so just to give you some context on south memphis uh the infant mortality rate is higher than most or many third world nations um it's one of the deadliest zip codes in the state of tennessee which is one of the deadliest cities in america um statistically young men in south memphis are and this one breaks my heart they're more likely to be dead or incarcerated than they are to have a job or be in school

so just to give you some context on south memphis uh the infant mortality rate is higher than most or many third world nations um it's one of the deadliest zip codes in the state of tennessee which is one of the deadliest cities in america um statistically young men in south memphis are and this one breaks my heart they're more likely to be dead or incarcerated than they are to have a job or be in school

Now, I didn't know any of this when I first started going out there. And actually, I hated South Memphis for the longest time because of what it was doing to me. I wasn't looking at what I was doing to it. You just touched on it. I'm pumping that much money a day into the dope economy out there. I have harmed that community with the amount of money I spent out there with bad people.

Now, I didn't know any of this when I first started going out there. And actually, I hated South Memphis for the longest time because of what it was doing to me. I wasn't looking at what I was doing to it. You just touched on it. I'm pumping that much money a day into the dope economy out there. I have harmed that community with the amount of money I spent out there with bad people.

Now, I didn't know any of this when I first started going out there. And actually, I hated South Memphis for the longest time because of what it was doing to me. I wasn't looking at what I was doing to it. You just touched on it. I'm pumping that much money a day into the dope economy out there. I have harmed that community with the amount of money I spent out there with bad people.

And I kept telling myself, like, this is it. I'm going to stop. And that's what I'm doing. That's like $200,000 a year. Stan told somebody he made $200,000. And it didn't last a year. Just off you. Just off me. Just off me. It didn't last a year. It lasted 10 months this time. I hated myself. I hated everything about myself. I wanted to die.

And I kept telling myself, like, this is it. I'm going to stop. And that's what I'm doing. That's like $200,000 a year. Stan told somebody he made $200,000. And it didn't last a year. Just off you. Just off me. Just off me. It didn't last a year. It lasted 10 months this time. I hated myself. I hated everything about myself. I wanted to die.

And I kept telling myself, like, this is it. I'm going to stop. And that's what I'm doing. That's like $200,000 a year. Stan told somebody he made $200,000. And it didn't last a year. Just off you. Just off me. Just off me. It didn't last a year. It lasted 10 months this time. I hated myself. I hated everything about myself. I wanted to die.

But more than that, I wanted to get sober and be there for my kids. And so I punished myself. I had enough money. I could have bought ounces of heroin at a time. I was going through like two, three grams a day. I could have bought ounces at a time. And instead, I'm making three trips getting a gram at a time every day. I can't believe it took me as long as it did for me to get pulled over.

But more than that, I wanted to get sober and be there for my kids. And so I punished myself. I had enough money. I could have bought ounces of heroin at a time. I was going through like two, three grams a day. I could have bought ounces at a time. And instead, I'm making three trips getting a gram at a time every day. I can't believe it took me as long as it did for me to get pulled over.

But more than that, I wanted to get sober and be there for my kids. And so I punished myself. I had enough money. I could have bought ounces of heroin at a time. I was going through like two, three grams a day. I could have bought ounces at a time. And instead, I'm making three trips getting a gram at a time every day. I can't believe it took me as long as it did for me to get pulled over.

Like a white guy driving a brand new Tahoe or a brand new F-150 or a brand new, or not brand new, but a 68 GTO. Multiple times a day. Like, it's very clear what I'm going out there to do, you know? But I wouldn't buy a bunch at once because I kept telling myself, this is it. I'm going to quit. This is it. I'm going to quit. I'm going to taper off. I'm going to taper off.

Like a white guy driving a brand new Tahoe or a brand new F-150 or a brand new, or not brand new, but a 68 GTO. Multiple times a day. Like, it's very clear what I'm going out there to do, you know? But I wouldn't buy a bunch at once because I kept telling myself, this is it. I'm going to quit. This is it. I'm going to quit. I'm going to taper off. I'm going to taper off.

Like a white guy driving a brand new Tahoe or a brand new F-150 or a brand new, or not brand new, but a 68 GTO. Multiple times a day. Like, it's very clear what I'm going out there to do, you know? But I wouldn't buy a bunch at once because I kept telling myself, this is it. I'm going to quit. This is it. I'm going to quit. I'm going to taper off. I'm going to taper off.

It's just insanity took over my thinking. Why did you want to quit? Why did I want to quit? Yeah. I never wanted to be on it to begin with. That one time I got that hug from God and I was hooked. Never had that feeling again. Never felt that good again, but I couldn't stop doing it. But it was taking me away from my kids because I'm spending an hour and a half a day or more driving.

It's just insanity took over my thinking. Why did you want to quit? Why did I want to quit? Yeah. I never wanted to be on it to begin with. That one time I got that hug from God and I was hooked. Never had that feeling again. Never felt that good again, but I couldn't stop doing it. But it was taking me away from my kids because I'm spending an hour and a half a day or more driving.

It's just insanity took over my thinking. Why did you want to quit? Why did I want to quit? Yeah. I never wanted to be on it to begin with. That one time I got that hug from God and I was hooked. Never had that feeling again. Never felt that good again, but I couldn't stop doing it. But it was taking me away from my kids because I'm spending an hour and a half a day or more driving.

So hold on, hold on.

So hold on, hold on.