Ben Wilson

All other goodness is but too often an idleness or powerlessness of will. All right? And how many of us do this? Men who boast of their faithfulness when in truth, no woman would ever pursue them. Men who tut that power corrupts when they have never had any opportunity to have power anyway. So that is one of my top takeaways from the philosophy of Rochefoucauld. Be honest with yourself.

Be painfully, brutally honest with yourself. Rudely honest. Make it hurt. You know, to a point verging on cynicism, which is what he often did. You drag everything through the mud and view it in its worst light, not because cynicism itself is good, but because removing the veneer exposes the true beauty underneath.

Be painfully, brutally honest with yourself. Rudely honest. Make it hurt. You know, to a point verging on cynicism, which is what he often did. You drag everything through the mud and view it in its worst light, not because cynicism itself is good, but because removing the veneer exposes the true beauty underneath.

There's a pretty good example of this, I think, in the latest season of the HBO show White Lotus. There are these three women who go on vacation together, three blonde women, all in their 40s, who grew up together.

There's a pretty good example of this, I think, in the latest season of the HBO show White Lotus. There are these three women who go on vacation together, three blonde women, all in their 40s, who grew up together.

And they're all smiling and pretending like everything is fine, when in reality, they're gossiping behind each other's backs, betraying each other, and there are all these fractures and differences between them that are exposed. Some of them are going after the same guy, and one of them hooks up with him. Okay.

And they're all smiling and pretending like everything is fine, when in reality, they're gossiping behind each other's backs, betraying each other, and there are all these fractures and differences between them that are exposed. Some of them are going after the same guy, and one of them hooks up with him. Okay.

And so it gets so bad, there finally is a breaking point, huge blow up in the friend group. And for a while, it looks like the rest of the vacation is going to just be ruined. And then one of the friends gives the speech at breakfast. She says, quote, I've just been so sad all week.

And so it gets so bad, there finally is a breaking point, huge blow up in the friend group. And for a while, it looks like the rest of the vacation is going to just be ruined. And then one of the friends gives the speech at breakfast. She says, quote, I've just been so sad all week.

I just feel like my expectations were too high or I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life and your choices. And when I'm with you guys, it's just so transparent what my choices were and my mistakes. I have no belief system. Well, I mean, I've had a lot of them. Work was my religion for forever, but I definitely lost my belief there.

I just feel like my expectations were too high or I just feel like as you get older, you have to justify your life and your choices. And when I'm with you guys, it's just so transparent what my choices were and my mistakes. I have no belief system. Well, I mean, I've had a lot of them. Work was my religion for forever, but I definitely lost my belief there.

And then I tried love, and that was just a painful religion, just made everything worse. And then even for me, just being a mother, that didn't save me either. But I had this epiphany today. I don't need religion or God to give my life meaning because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we're going through it apart, but we're still together.

And then I tried love, and that was just a painful religion, just made everything worse. And then even for me, just being a mother, that didn't save me either. But I had this epiphany today. I don't need religion or God to give my life meaning because time gives it meaning. We started this life together. I mean, we're going through it apart, but we're still together.

And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can't explain it. But even when we're just sitting around the pool talking about whatever, it still feels very deep. I'm just happy to be at the table. Okay, so stripping away all those layers of fake friendship and fake connection, you know, that we're such happy friends and we have so much in common, everything is great.

And I look at you guys and it feels meaningful and I can't explain it. But even when we're just sitting around the pool talking about whatever, it still feels very deep. I'm just happy to be at the table. Okay, so stripping away all those layers of fake friendship and fake connection, you know, that we're such happy friends and we have so much in common, everything is great.

By doing that, she's able to get to the bottom of what really makes their friendship. And that allows them to connect more deeply. I also think that that sort of deep self-aware honesty allows you to discover the truth about yourself, right? One of the first maxims that Rochefoucauld gives that influences everything else he writes about is our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.

By doing that, she's able to get to the bottom of what really makes their friendship. And that allows them to connect more deeply. I also think that that sort of deep self-aware honesty allows you to discover the truth about yourself, right? One of the first maxims that Rochefoucauld gives that influences everything else he writes about is our virtues are most frequently but vices disguised.

And on the one hand, again, this could be interpreted very cynically. Oh, you know, you're acting like you have this great virtue, but it's just a disguised vice. You're not really so virtuous after all. But I would also submit that this is just true. I mean, let's look at this in a different context, okay?

And on the one hand, again, this could be interpreted very cynically. Oh, you know, you're acting like you have this great virtue, but it's just a disguised vice. You're not really so virtuous after all. But I would also submit that this is just true. I mean, let's look at this in a different context, okay?

The book Make Something Wonderful has a great quote from Steve Jobs about something very similar. An interviewer asks him, what do you think your weaknesses are when it comes to management? And Steve responds, Okay. So first of all, let's just take a moment to recognize how great this is. An interviewer asks Steve Jobs what his greatest weaknesses are. And he says, you know, I don't know.