Beth Dutton

I'm pretty talkative today, considering how wiped out I am.

Melanie shot these video diaries in the quiet of her bedroom near the Jersey Shore.

They capture her in her most private and tortured moments.

I can't keep up with the momentum.

I can't keep up.

Shown here for the first time, they are a rare glimpse into the mind of a complex woman, some say is a caring mother, others say a calculating killer.

I can't help but think that if I had made better decisions along the way and left the marriage earlier, that I wouldn't be sitting here.

It is the last place anyone, especially her mother, Linda Camperero, ever expected to find Melanie.

She was every mother's dream.

A good girl.

Melanie became a nurse.

It was a quality that caught the eye of 28-year-old Bill McGuire, a veteran of the U.S.

Navy.

He was one of those people that just had a gift.

He could talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Bill's sister, Cindy Lagosh, says from day one, Bill and Melanie were a perfect match.

They were equals.

They both wanted the same things out of life, or so I thought.

The couple married in June 1999.

It was a fairytale wedding.