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Beverly Gooden

👤 Person
51 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, mutual abuse in this context is basically saying that Diddy and his partner or Diddy and the people involved in the situation were abusive toward each other, allegedly. And I think it's important to clarify that mutual abuse is not a true concept. Abuse is about a pattern of behavior designed to maintain control over another person. And so even if both people engage in harmful behaviors.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, mutual abuse in this context is basically saying that Diddy and his partner or Diddy and the people involved in the situation were abusive toward each other, allegedly. And I think it's important to clarify that mutual abuse is not a true concept. Abuse is about a pattern of behavior designed to maintain control over another person. And so even if both people engage in harmful behaviors.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, mutual abuse in this context is basically saying that Diddy and his partner or Diddy and the people involved in the situation were abusive toward each other, allegedly. And I think it's important to clarify that mutual abuse is not a true concept. Abuse is about a pattern of behavior designed to maintain control over another person. And so even if both people engage in harmful behaviors.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

One is typically the abuser controlling the situation. I find that many people don't fully understand that abuse is about power. It's about control, manipulation, not just physical violence or aggression. So the focus should always be on understanding the context and power dynamics that are at play.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

One is typically the abuser controlling the situation. I find that many people don't fully understand that abuse is about power. It's about control, manipulation, not just physical violence or aggression. So the focus should always be on understanding the context and power dynamics that are at play.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

One is typically the abuser controlling the situation. I find that many people don't fully understand that abuse is about power. It's about control, manipulation, not just physical violence or aggression. So the focus should always be on understanding the context and power dynamics that are at play.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, I find that what often gets labeled as mutual abuse is more accurately a trauma response. And so the science shows that being in an abusive relationship literally rewires your brain. It changes your brain chemistry. That's what PTSD is. You start living in survival mode and your body and mind adjusts. to that constant threat.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, I find that what often gets labeled as mutual abuse is more accurately a trauma response. And so the science shows that being in an abusive relationship literally rewires your brain. It changes your brain chemistry. That's what PTSD is. You start living in survival mode and your body and mind adjusts. to that constant threat.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

Yeah, I find that what often gets labeled as mutual abuse is more accurately a trauma response. And so the science shows that being in an abusive relationship literally rewires your brain. It changes your brain chemistry. That's what PTSD is. You start living in survival mode and your body and mind adjusts. to that constant threat.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

So what people see from the outside looking in is, yeah, you might act defensive. You might lash out. You might shut down. And so it looks like there is harm going both ways. But it's not because you're trying to control anyone. It's because you're trying to cope. You're trying to stay safe. It's your nervous system literally doing what it was trained to do under pressure.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

So what people see from the outside looking in is, yeah, you might act defensive. You might lash out. You might shut down. And so it looks like there is harm going both ways. But it's not because you're trying to control anyone. It's because you're trying to cope. You're trying to stay safe. It's your nervous system literally doing what it was trained to do under pressure.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

So what people see from the outside looking in is, yeah, you might act defensive. You might lash out. You might shut down. And so it looks like there is harm going both ways. But it's not because you're trying to control anyone. It's because you're trying to cope. You're trying to stay safe. It's your nervous system literally doing what it was trained to do under pressure.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

The thing that I always say is that trauma responses can cause harm. And I think that's what the public is seeing when they see or when they hear about even someone lashing back or lashing out at the abusive partner. But that's not the same thing as being abusive. Harm is not abuse. Conflict is not abuse. Abuse is about power and control. It is a pattern, not just messy behavior on both sides.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

The thing that I always say is that trauma responses can cause harm. And I think that's what the public is seeing when they see or when they hear about even someone lashing back or lashing out at the abusive partner. But that's not the same thing as being abusive. Harm is not abuse. Conflict is not abuse. Abuse is about power and control. It is a pattern, not just messy behavior on both sides.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

The thing that I always say is that trauma responses can cause harm. And I think that's what the public is seeing when they see or when they hear about even someone lashing back or lashing out at the abusive partner. But that's not the same thing as being abusive. Harm is not abuse. Conflict is not abuse. Abuse is about power and control. It is a pattern, not just messy behavior on both sides.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

It frustrates me because I think survivors really deserve a society that can tell the difference between the two.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

It frustrates me because I think survivors really deserve a society that can tell the difference between the two.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

It frustrates me because I think survivors really deserve a society that can tell the difference between the two.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

We often have a hard time believing that someone we hold in high esteem could be abusive. That and more after this quick break.

It's Been a Minute
Diddy, Cassie, & the anatomy of "mutual abuse"

We often have a hard time believing that someone we hold in high esteem could be abusive. That and more after this quick break.

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